Player ratings: Union friendlies

In-depth analysis is probably not warranted after a pair of European friendlies that saw the visitors in lame form. Everton mailed it in like a cereal box UPC for a free beanie and if you looked at Real Madrid's second half formation from a blimp, it spells out "aburrido."

But let the follies of others take nothing away from a stouthearted, spirited and plucky (oh hey thesaurus!