Scott Parker? This is getting out of hand

Just no

You simply cannot beat the transfer window for laughs.

Michael Essien's apparent season-ending knee injury I say apparent because we know nothing for certain yet has sent the tabloids into a frenzy. It's to be expected, really. We've been linked with every midfielder in the known world, including Scott fucking Parker.

Related

• Who do you fancy? Pastore, Modric, Nasri etc. etc.
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• Chelsea Fear End of Essien
• Time to put The Bison out to pasture? Plus: Emenalo keeps getting promoted
• Official: Essien to miss six months (at least)
• Awww, how cute? Sky Sports says its sorry
• Tuesday’s gossip column – transfers and rumours
• Michael Essien Suffers Knee Injury In Training