This Is Your Leader. His Name Is Sepp.

Sepp ran unopposed. The only hopes were that one of the whiners (England, predominantly) would successfully toss a monkey wrench into the spokes of the FIFA wheel. However, England didn't realize those spokes were made of sharpened diamonds, likely blood diamonds (gore flick blood diamonds at that), supplied from the Belgian underground but rerouted through an unnamed Middle Eastern country.

Read the full article at The Offside.

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