Grand Theft Auto | a DC United Match Reaction

Eighty-eight minutes into this match, the post-mortem taking shape in my head made for grim reading. It was splashed with gory reminders of last year's numerous "toothless attack, defensive letdown, no creativity in midfield" sad-sack match reactions. It was laced with words and phrases like "stagnant" and "static" and "useless" and "balls magnetically attracted to the touchline" and "pedestrian.