Neymar Scores Four In Sudamericano U20, World Fawns

Hey, did you know the South American U-20 Tournament is happening right now? Probably not, as like any good football fan, one January international tournament is all one can really handle.

And though the world may forgive you, Neymar will not. He of the infinite suitors and equally infinite mullet played the part of Brazilian savior and tournament ambassador by announcing its arrival with a four goal burst in Brazil's opening game.