Dutch unveil new brand of ‘Total Bastard Football’

After decades of careful refinement, precision training and deep aesthetic study then canning all that nonsense Sunday's World Cup was the scene for the unveiling of Dutch football's latest revolution, the new style of 'Total Bastard Football'.

The totaalbastaardvoetbal tactical theory relies on a perpetual and fluid interchange of positions, demanding that all outfield players, be they a tightly-permed midfielder or even a bald midfielder, are able to boot any team who dares to play football against them firmly into touch.

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