STEVEN GERRARD hires ROY KEANE to protect his home

After searching far and wide for a guard dog ferocious enough to protect his home, Steven Gerrard finally offered the job to ex-Manchester United captain Roy Keane, who jumped at the chance to get out of his Ipswich Town misery and return to his wild ways.



Gerrard said:

"Erm, Keano is the toughest player I've ever faced in the Premiership.

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