Fun way to give Essex toddlers a winning start

It's just before 9.30 in the morning. It's been raining heavily on the way to Leigh on Sea's Wesley Methodist Church. Surrounding me are a gaggle of children - aged between one and two - and a gaggle of mothers. The kids are noisy and rowdy. They're looking at me as if I was an alien - fixing stern gazes in a way only toddlers can.