La Liga in the Champions League: Real Madrid and Atlético Madrid

"Please, no acclaim, I'm just a humble footballer... who scored twice from two incredible free kicks."

The group stage of the Champions League began on Tuesday evening, and two La Liga outfits looked to initiate the exorcism of their personal demons.

Real Madrid and its galácticos played its first Champions League match of the season against an upstart FC Zürich team who, before the match, seemed more interested in whom they would swap shirts.

Related

• Cristiano found something to masterbate to
• Ronaldo Suffers From Performance Anxiety
• Messi Versus Ronaldo!
• Spurs Star Heading For Italy, German WAG Turns to Porn, Becks On Way Back to Manchester United?
• Video: Cristinao Ronaldo scores two free kicks for Real Madrid against FC Zurich
• A photographic journey into the burgeoning bromance between Cristiano and Kaka
• Emmanuel Adebayor: A Huge Disgrace
• 2 Goals for United