The thirteen-year-old did a better dive.

If there's a typical men's league game, it can be roughly divided into three sections:

• First 20 minutes: both teams whine, complain, and exaggerate to see what they can get away with. If there's a big mouth, he looks for someone to prod into getting a yellow card.

• Next 50 minutes: The teams realize that I won't make idiot calls or buy their attempts to get a PK.