EXCLUSIVE: Huge alien colony found living under Arsenal's pitch

Good morning to you.

I can assure those of you with such inquisitive dispositions that the lateness of this morning's blog has nothing, nothing I say, to do with gin and tonics, beer, red wine and Irish coffee. Not one jot. I was merely biding my time until something interesting happened for me to blog about but I have to come the conclusion that I could be here for some time.