UEFA stunned as Roman Abramovich bids for EURO 2016

There was shock today in Zurich as representatives of Chelsea's moneybags owner and Siberian orphan seller, Roman Abramovich, announced his intention to bid for EURO 2016.
It is believed that the bid involves buying the tournament lock, stock and barrel, allowing Abramovich to rename it 'Roman's Euro kickabout 2016', introduce compulsory oversized animal costumes for players and replace sendings off with summary executions, the method of which will be voted on by TV viewers via the red button.

Related

• Chelsea chief accused of ‘betrayal’ and ’shabby treatment’