Beckham Credits England Recall to Scientology

You felt it had to happen sooner or later but today David Beckham has officially announced his conversion to Scientology, even dedicating his landmark 100th England cap last week to Xenu, the ancient alien ruler of the Galactic Confederacy to whom many of the religion's facets are traced back to. Reportedly the million year old space-deity (think Bowser from the Super Mario games) visited Beckham in a dream and said that if he followed his prophet, he would get all his heart desired.