I'm rolling back the years here to an advert from 1996. It is Kevin Keegan giving the
Sugar Puff's Honey Monster a run out at Wembley for the Toon Army and the big man grabbing a
powerful header on the backstick. Classic...
Produced at a time when Newcastle were at the height of their popularity across the country, as
they played some of the best football around and Keegan's men were pushing for the title.
I was browsing over at 3nil when I found this joke of a dive, it is taken from Shakhtar
Donetsk vs Dynamo Kyiv in the Ukrainian league. The Kyiv player VukojeviÄ‡ (in white) gets sent off
for this prod in Kucher's back, but it is the Shakhter players response that is an absolute
It appears that reputation has come before Ognjen VukojeviÄ‡ of Dynamo Kyiv, as he is known as
the Croatian equivalent of Gattuso.
Scoring against Manchester United is something many players dream of, but two Barnsley
fans invaded the pitch in the Carling Cup match last night against the Red Devil's and got to
experience that feeling...
2-0 down and only 3 added on minutes left of the match two of Barnsley's finest pinch the ball
off Ben Foster and the fat bald one has a great first touch before volleying home, to the Barnsley
fan's initial delight.
It's starting to get interesting in the Bundesliga. With the weekend being eclipsed by a
thrilling 3-3 draw. Schalke needed a last gasp goal from Kevin
Kuranyi to make the game even stevens after Hamburg had led, 2-0, 2-1 then 3-2.
Markus Berg and Kevin Kuranyi scored two goals each with Lucas Schmitz and Piotr Trochowski both on
target in a 3-3 draw which had everything, including a red card for Hamburg's David Rozehnal.
Having just discovered that Barack Obama is no longer a fan of West Ham from the Mail (don't
worry I read it to take the piss) and is now a fan of Al Wasl's (maybe to align himself with
dealers of Oil, yes ITS is getting political), I thought I would do an A-Listers top 10 this week.
With the biggest game probably being at the Artemio Franchi between Fiorentina and
Napoli, Serie A did not present too much interest this weekend. However Sampdoria were hoping that
Inter would drop points to jump above them to the top the table. Juventus needed a change in
fortunes after not winning in four while AC Milan wanted to continue their two
game winning streak against Chievo.
In what ended up being a 2-2 draw between Manchester City and Fulham, Bobby Zamora
probably had the worst miss of the season thus far...
Looks like he is living up to his chant;
"When the ball hits your head
And you're sat in Row Z
It happens to the best of us Bobby, I have missed from 5 yards out many a time.
Okay, okay, they got away lightly on Sunday with Arsenal once again showing less bottle
than an English penalty taker, but something at Upton Park concerned me.
Now I may be wrong (And correct me if I am) but I'm pretty sure, as Arsenal were 2-0 up, that
odds on the match were scrolling along the billboards on the pitch.
Yet another advert hot off the Nike production line and this one has Cesc Fabregas
advertising the new CTR360 Maestri boots.
It's genius in my opinion as it shows Cesc being the midfield maestro that he is, but in a Bond
Villain-esque way. The boots are apparently not bad either as my captain (and centre half) has said
that he's tempted to get rid of all his shoes and just wear these boots, as they are the most
comfortable shoes he's had.
Arsene Wenger is 60 today. The man is regarded by most as a legend and even his rivals have a
begrudging respect for him. Arsenal's most successful manager has turned a team once known for
George Graham's â€˜One Nil to the Arsenal' style play into a team that plays the most attractive
football in the division.
Ever wondered what the hell managers are on about on the touchline? well this very well
made sketch gives all the answers.
Bought to you by What's funny about 1431 and actors Matthew Steer and
Buy me a Beer
- Did I Just See That.
As reported in my last Serie A review, there were two big games this weekend with Milan
taking on Roma at the San Siro and Juventus taking on Fiorentina at the Olimpico. Milan needed
victory if Leonardo was to remain as manager for at least another week, while Juventus needed a win
to restart their title bid after failing to win in their previous three games.
West Brom moved top this weekend, capatalising on Newcastle's away loss to Forest.
Cardiff closed in on Middlesbrough, before climbing up to third with a win on Tuesday. Could this
be the bluebirds season? At the other end of the table Ipswich drew again, quickly levelling having
gone behind to an early Beattie goal.
Well it looks like the Middlesbrough Boo Boys have finally had their way, Gareth
Southgate has been sacked as manager of Middlesbrough.
This is absolutely ridiculous. As a Middlesbrough resident (But not a fan) I know how completely
fucking fair weather the fans there are.
You heard it here first! Unless you have been on the dailymail site priorÂ to this
which would make us second. But a worthy second I reckon.
And I hear you saying HOW? How could Ronaldo, the current World player of the year, be retiring
in four months time. Well apparently a witch has placed a hex on the former Man Utd man after a
former girlfriend hired him (lol, a man witch, gay).
The boys over at talkSPORT have come up with an absolute gem of a video,Â the editing
and syncing is spot on and this interview is a must see.
Buy me a Beer
- Phil Neville showing his age...
- As Seen By A Woman... Players Behaving Like Drama Queens
- A picture says a thousands words.
This happened during the recent international break, in training Nicklas Bendtner chips
the keeper with an epic finish and then on his next attempt floors himself, the reaction of the
other player had me in stitches
Buy me a Beer
- Nicklas Bendtner.
My day could not be made any better, following Chelsea's loss to Villa and Manchester
United eventually getting past Bolton, Liverpool suffer their fourth defeat from nine matches will
send me to sleep happy. The manner of how Liverpool conceded the goal just makes it that bit
But bÃ©tisier Sunderland Liverpool
Uploaded by alloelo.
Following Darren Bent's goal against Liverpool set up by this beach ball there is one
Liverpool fan who will want the whole episode to go away. The BBC did the decent thing and blurred
out the lads face on Match Of The Day... enter The Sun.
Unlucky for this young Liverpool fan The Sun have released a picture of his face asking for his
name and no doubt he will be named, shamed and later forced to leave Merseyside and support a new
This year Sky released a double header of football adverts for us to ponder our
subscription over. One had the "special one" Jose Mourinho and the second was an attempt at
remaking the glorious Sean Bean advert of 97...
The first one is Sky's attempt to resurrect the "we know how you feel about it, cos we feel the
This advert is probably the best and the most famous football advert for those of you
who have been Sky Sports fans since it was created. Sheffield United fan Sean Bean fronts this
It can be difficult
You know that
We all need someone to rely on
Someone who's going to be there
Someone who's going to make you feel like you belong
It's ectasy, anguish, joy and despair
Part of our history
Part of our country
And it will be part of our future
It's theatre, art, war and love
It should be predictable .
Darren Bent discusses Goal on Twitter Caught Offside
5 Arsenal players turn gay Never Captain Nicky Butt
Suspected Beach ball fake on ebay Ebay UK
Michael Owen on Injuries and the World Cup Daily Mail
Robinho Rips his Jeans #5 Magazine Youtube
SoccerÂ Saturdays reaction to the beach ball goal Youtube
Buy me a Beer
- Gillette Soccer Saturday Drinking Game!
In the early kick off today Chelsea were beaten 2-1 by Aston Villa despite taking the
lead through Didier Drogba. The signings of Dunne and Collins again proving themselves to be well
worth their money, as the pair notched a goal each at corners.
So far this season Chelsea have gone back to the boring efficient play last seen under Mr
Mourinho and as a Man Yoo fan I'm delighted that the Blues are beatable.
It is probably the most famous wasp in the world, the wasp that almost cost Fabio
Cannavaro his career. The Italian defender was stung last week and later treated by Juve medics
however following this Cannavaro failed a drugs test.
Over the last few days Cannavaro has been cleared of any wrong doing and he has revealed more
information about that sting and where it was.
Here at In The Stands we are full of jokes that are truly hilarious and this feature is
Whenever a manager should really be sacked from their job because they are just not cutting the
mustard, we will point them out beautifully by pasting them into our sack.
Now that the championship season is well underway I thought it would be fitting to give you a
list of the ten top players who have set alight the championship this season. The quality of the
championship is phenomenal these days and has become a training ground for top up and comers, as
well as one of the most entertaining leagues in the world.
I remember reading in the FourFourTwo season preview that around half of fans wish for
the season was that their club would be taken over by a foreign billionaire.
There are plenty of examples where clubs have improved greatly under new investment, whether
from abroad or overseas.
Blackburn Rovers' striker El Hadji Diouf unveiled his latest motor yesterday, a shiny
gold Cadillac Escalade, but it does seem to missing an "im shit" sticker on the side.
The 28-year-old is already the proud owner of an impressive haul of motor cars, including a
white Cadillac Escalade, a show-stopping chrome Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren a pinch at Â£420,000 and
a white BMW X6, to name but a few.
So FourFourTwo have released their list for the top 100 players in the world today. We
all know who the top two will be but in which order? And how many spanish players will make the top
20 following their Euro 2008 triumph and 100% World Cup qualification record?
I cant be bothered to put the full list on here because personally I couldn't give a toss if
Darijno Srna is the 66th best player in the world.
Teddy Sheringham shows that footballers can do more than just play the game as he
pocketed a cool Â£40,481 from the World Series of Poker Europe tournament in London last
It's not been long since Sheringham retired from the game but he's shown here that he's already
found another job that pays well.
On the football league show this weekend this man popped up completely unmentioned. Saturday was
Crystal Palace's family day for the match against Blackpool. I think family days are a great way to
bring the children in and get young lads and lasses hooked on live football. I'm sure they all had
a great time with the sun shining and Palace winning 4-1.
Well done to Sutton for winning his first game in charge at Lincon.
Lampard not worried about his lack of goals (Never Captain Nicky Butt)
A lovely addition to the WAG index (Who Ate All The Pies)
Braveheart Paul Hart (Guardian Via 3 nil)
Who is England's number one?
Bayern seem to have crashed and burned in the last two week, picking up only one point
out of 6.
After loosing to HamburgÂ last week Bayern could only muster a
0-0 draw against league strugglers Colonge. As a result they
dropped to 8th in the table and are now 8 points behind join league leaders Bayer Leverkusen and
Hamburg, who both added to their points tally this weekend (they now both have 20 points from 8
Bayer Leverkusen thumped relegation candidates Nurberg 4-0,
with goals fromÂ Toni Kroos,Â Simon Rolfes, Eren Derdiyo and the in form Stefan KieÃŸling.
So far the Premiership old boys are showing their class, occupying the top 3 places.
After paying out Â£2 million compensation to Keegan Newcastle failed to score for the first time
this season against Bristol City. Fans can only hope that any takeover, made more likely by the
compensation pay out, causes minimum disruption.
Here we are seven league games into the season and with Juve, Inter and Sampdoria the
early pace setters,who will be top of Serie A. Can Milan improve after a very poor start to the
season and Roma will be hoping for a victory over Napoli to push up the table.
Bari 0-0 Catania
Inter Milan 2-1 Udinese
Roma 2-1 Napoli
Bologna 1-3 Genoa
Siena 0-0 Livorno
Atalanta 1-1 Milan
Cagliari 1-2 Chievo
Sampdoria 1-1 Parma
Fiorentina 0-0 Lazio
Palermo 2-0 Juventus
Inter Milan gained a creditable victory against Udinese although Di Natale continued his rich
vein of form by netting his ninth goal of the season.
Let me paint you a picture, it's the 92nd minute, England are down 2-1 to Greece and as
it stands our Lions are staring down the barrel of a gun, in terms of qualifying
automatically...Step up David Beckham!
Goals don't get more important than that...6th October, 2001.
It isn't yet...
Reading some of this shit just makes my brain explode. How on Earth is Ken Bates Leeds'
Chairman? He doesn't own the club? He doesn't know anyone who owns the club? It wouldn't suprise me
if Leeds were actually owned by Harry Potter, or those fucking dogs playing cards in that
Ladies and Gentlemen, the good people at Footy-Boots have been kind (See also: foolish) enough
to give me a column there and promote our lovely INTHESTANDS blog. Get over there and check out my
stuff as well as the very latest gossip from the world of football boots (Including the brand new,
god awful looking Nike CTR 360s)
Click here tosee my new boot, aimed directly at diving players.