Footballs? Pancakes? Boobies?
With just a week to go before "The Biggest Game In TFC History" (TM), The Reds continue in the group stage of The Mickey Mouse Cup. Tonight's opponent are Swedish also-rans BK Hacken of the Allsvenskan, marking the second time Toronto faces "The Hedge" in its history.

And then there was one. Photo: Toronto FCELBEKAY WE HARDLY KNEW YA!
In a bit of an unexpected move, Toronto FC announced that they have waived midfielder Elbekay Bouchiba. The experienced holding mid joined The Reds a year ago as part of a Dutch trio of signings alongside Nick Soolsma and Javier Martina.

First of all, these statues should be in a 4-3-3We know that many of our readers were far more likely to be watching highlights of Toronto FC vs. Orlando City on an eternal online loop, but for some, the biggest show of the weekend took place last night. Yes, the biggest thing to hit Hollywood since Chad Barrett, the annual Academy Awards, was held on Sunday with all the usual glitz and glamour in tow.

Forza Violas!
Toronto FC started their official preseason friendly schedule tonight in the group stage of the Walt Disney World Pro Soccer Classic. The opponents were none other than the local club and USL Pro Division Champions Orlando City. Since, like TFC, we are shaking off preseason rust, here are some shoddy highlights instead of a post-match report from tonight's action.

We are super ultra pleased how many people have liked what we've been doing here with these cards. However I'm disappointed that we haven't done enough to warrant a 'cease-and-desist' but then we weren't trying to be too offensive. Speaking of offensive, this pack includes Alex Bunbury's offspring, as well as Terry Dunfield and the least important trophy anywhere, the Trillium Cup.

Sweet pair of Hackens!
It is one of North America's most fiercely contested, rodent-related soccer tournaments in history. FIFA ranks it in the Top 250 theme park-based football competitions of the 21st Century. Yes, it's time to get off the teacups and take the monorail over to the Walt Disney World Pro Soccer Classic.

The unconventional cards, which are ultimately the final 9 cards of the 54-card set, were some of the first cards to be filled out. Doing the trophies were so much fun, even if the photos were weak. Oh well. At least I didn't do rare cards. Those would be really hard to pull off in a PDF. This pack includes the twitter-ific Brian Ching, "defender" Andy Iro and Defender Richard Eckersley.

Oooh, love that ginger detailingIn what is turning out to be an annual corporate cross-promotion, auto-maker and club sponsor Kia Motors unveiled a "Special TFC Edition" vehicle. Once again, Academy coach Danny Dichio and team barista/dodgy hairstyle enthusiast Jim Brennan premiered the car, a 2012 Optima, at the Toronto Auto Show for a rapturous crowd of sub-compact coupe aficionados/fans of the English First Division (1993 - 2006).

When plotting these cards out, we opted for a heavy TFC slant (obviously) and because I wanted to use those mock logos here, we went with at least one player from every team in the league. Some favouritism was shown for ex-TFC players because to be honest, I don't know crap about Colorado's players short of Marvell Wynne.

Eddie Johnson's a thing... right?FLORIDULL
There's a strange feeling amongst TFC supporters that training camp is quiet... too quiet. So unaccustomed are we to a drama-free lead up to the season that some are getting worried. Why no more trialists? Why not enough friendlies?

Has this joke run its course yet? No? Good because we are not halfway done. The set will all be online before the season kicks off. Keep the comments coming as I've clearly learned that if I do these again next season, I will be sure to make the cards of all the obvious ones I missed this time around.

Bio Pic: You can use either...In their latest effort to win back some of the fans lost to years of mediocrity, Toronto FC is running a competition to win the "Toronto FC Dream Job". Fans are being welcomed to enter a bio online and garner votes in a bid to land a coveted role with the club.

TAKING THE KIDS TO DISNEY
The Reds announced yesterday that they were taking a compliment of 33 players with them to Florida to continue pre-season training. No major surprise to the travel itinerary as the club has yet to make further cuts after their initial four less than two weeks ago.

Yar! There be treasure beneath that hideous logo!
Florida - the land of orange juice from concentrate, mothballed space vehicles, Hanging Chads (not Barrett) and Quebecois evacuees. On a map, it looks like America's wang but for the next few weeks The Sunshine State will be home to our beloved Toronto FC.

We would like to thank you for the outpouring of positive feedback for this project. It took a long time but know that it was a labour of love, so if you hate on them, too bad. You should see the printed version. You'd swear you bought them at a hobby store. They're shiny and pretty. Sure, I could've gone all holographics like Upper Deck, but I don't have that kind of dosh for what is really an elaborate joke.

"You are just on loan Dave..."A SALARY CAP FAR, FAR AWAY
In the most uneventful (in a good way) pre-season of Toronto FC's history, we can't help but gaze into the distance at our next meaningful opponent, LA Galaxy. In one of the shrewdest moves in MLS governance, Galaxy persuaded the league to allow them to use Mexican Pesos as their salary cap currency.

Didja like what you've seen so far? If you answered "no" then it probably won't get much better than that. In this package of brilliance, you will find the inaction shots of Milos Kocic, 2010-workhorse-2011-goat Dan Gargan and the biggest endorsement 'miss' going of the not-yet-Harvey's sponsored Torsten Frings.

Easily in the Top 250 MLS English leftback specialty tees - order now!
SNIP, SNIP
So confident in the make-up of their first team for 2012, TFC management have taken the unusual step of pre-announcing oncoming cuts. For Reds supporters this is like being in some kind of training camp Twilight Zone.

Reggie shows the ball how to bow at his feetEvery club has one of them now and again. A colourful and flamboyant character who has such a lofty opinion of their own skills that they can't help but tell the world. Often this can be an endearing quality to fans but only when there is actual skill to back it up.

Man, did I love buying hockey cards as a kid. I'd take my 35 cents, run over to the corner store, and open those bad boys up. After stupid things like inflation and market saturation, my beautiful card collection's value sunk like a stone. I still have them (if interested, inquire within) but some of the cards are, effectively worthless.