The Frank Lampard Appreciation Society presents another series of entries in the diary of one Monseur Lampard. We hope you enjoy this untainted gaze into the mind of England's once prominent philosophical bum-rushing midfielder.

February 5, 2012

This is the season that can do neither wrong nor right by me.

So, you-know-who took a look at my site. I asked ever so politely for a few basic tips to get more eyeballs to the site. The Good Doctor glanced. The Good Doctor perused. Then the Good Doctor dissected. Overall, he liked that the headlines were SEO friendly. However, editorial direction aside, a large, gaping hole existed at the center of my content: misogynist pictures only tangentially related to soccer.

Remember five years ago when Chelsea post EPL game press conferences revolved around Jose Mourinho complaining that Joe Cole dribbled too much? The Blues would have just ground out a 1-0 win over a lower level team, conceded zero shots on frame, and edged possession by 55% to 45%. Still, we held our breath and waited for Mou to furl his eyebrow and toss subtle barbs at Joe Cole's selfish decision to dribble at a defender.

The United States National Team roster for Olympic qualifying features twenty-three young players who capture the inventiveness and the vitality of contemporary American soccer. Each of the twenty-three players answered a brief questionnaire about there past, present, and future. Our editors have included highlights from the Q & A and also links to their stories.

A career in soccer is not an endless stream of Happy Days. No, while we'd all like to be the Charles in Charge, some things lay beyond our grasp. Luck. Chance. Fate. As fans and followers, we often project our own anger and insecurities onto players. In their defects, we see our own, yet desperately yearn for the athlete gods to overcome this weakness.

The FA aside, the news cycle has been a bit slow lately. I did receive an anonymous tip that in Garden City, Kansas, a caterpillar had recently formed a cocoon and in a few weeks time may possibly become a butterfly. However, the "source" failed to provide enough detailed facts to corroborate the story, so instead I went with "Mourinho will quit Real Madrid to coach England.

Everybody wants to talk about Luis Suarez. He was charged with racism, served his suspension, and has returned to play. Done. Was he petulant before the game? Yes. But since when was that novel? I'm more interested in this little thing called the field. On said field, players kick balls. In fact, just yesterday, a game was played on said field.

Capell0 has resigned. Everybody tosses rocks at the FA's glass house, yet we struggle to articulate our feelings. For sure, changing coaches on the cusp of a major tournament is never good. Remember the Ivory Coast drama before the 2010 World Cup? Yes, the FA could have better included Capello in the John Terry issue.

Greetings, Googlebot, spiders, monkeys, SEO linkbuilders, webcrawlers, and click-jackers. I have been asked, in a consultancy role, to spread the blackhat gospel and decide a contest winner. John Terry FA Captain. Harry Redknapp Trial. Mourinho to England. I will now do so.

First, the depressing news.

The soccer world sheds a tear for fans, players, and civilians that lost their lives in Egypt a few days ago. Many much better equipped media outlets and more knowledgeable folk reported on the incident and shared their thoughts. Here's some of the essential reading:

Last Wednesday, in the Egyptian city of Port Said, fans of rival soccer clubs fought and 73 people were killed.

Batman without the bat signal. Superman sans the cape. Mr. Clean without that rough and tumble earring. Every hero needs an icon. And justice, a diffuse concept that is not easily grasped by materialistic minds, needs a hero. Always. Since the start of time; 'til the end of time.

UEFA's Financial Fair Play is no different.

Have heart Real Madrid faithful, the Phoenix shall rise from the ashes. Barcelona's roster will age, wither, and eventually lose to us on a more regular basis. However, until then, we must cope. Seven points give us solace, but not joy. Rumors of Mou's departure stalk our nightmares. Only one thing can brighten these dark times: laughing at amusing and ill conceived pictures.