Off the Post Archives for January 2013

Video: Was Jose Mourinho about to confirm Chelsea return when ITV cut him off?

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ITV thwarted Jose Mourinho's attempts to give them an exclusive on his future by cutting short an interview with him to make sure they went to advert break on time ahead of the News at Ten. Mourinho said he would "maybe not" be at Real Madrid next season. He added: "I love to be where [...]

GIF It: Man Utd first team coach Rene Meulensteen delivers his verdict on Wayne Rooney’s form

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One stray pass too many from out-of-sorts Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney during Saturday's draw with Arsenal prompted this excellent response from first team coach Rene Meulensteen. Delightfully understated but wonderfully damning. Via Olly/RedCafe

OTP Rebounds: Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher at his most indistinguishable, Neville on Newcastle and when Russian linesmen attack

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Gary Neville says the soul, identity and heart has been ripped out of Newcastle by their influx of French signings [Balls.ie] New Sky Sports pundit Jamie Carragher's finest moments of impenetrable accent work [Pies] Werder Bremen duo banned by the club after being caught speeding [Dirty Tackle] A sweet pair of Johan Cruyff Classic trainers [.

Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher confirms his next move

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Liverpool stalwart Jamie Carragher will join Sky Sports from the start of next season. The veteran defender had previously announced that he would retire at the end of the current campaign, although the rumour mill had suggested he was thinking of performing a U-turn and staying on for one more season.

Video: Sunderland boss Paolo Di Canio inadvertently insults Gary Neville

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Most people will see this as an unfortunate bit of pronunciation from Sunderland manager Paolo Di Canio; Liverpool fans will probably see it as an accurate description. The Black Cats boss' post-match interview following last night's 6-1 spanking at Aston Villa was overshadowed by the Italian bending his use of his second language to breaking [.

GIF It: Ron Vlaar’s 30-yard strike (Aston Villa 6-1 Sunderland)

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Aston Villa fans might have known that last night's match against Sunderland was going to be a good night from the moment defender Ron Vlaar stepped into midfield and drove the ball into the net from 30-yards. And the skipper's stunning strike ultimately set Paul Lambert's side on the way to a 6-1 thrashing of [.

Arsenal prepare £10m for Southampton star

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Arsenal will launch a £10 million bid for Southampton midfielder Morgan Schneiderlin this summer. The Sun reports that Arsene Wenger has been keeping a close eye on his compatriot since the player joined Saints for £1.2million from Strasbourg in 2008. The 23-year-old signed a new contract at St Mary's in February.

Tottenham confident of pipping Liverpool to Blackpool’s Tom Ince

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Spurs are hopeful of beating Liverpool to the £6.5 million signing of Blackpool winger Tom Ince, according to the Mirror. Chief executive Daniel Levy is keen to do business with the Seasiders as soon as possible and whisk the England under-21 international away from his dad, Bloomfield Road boss Paul, before their rivals start to [.

Fail – Mansfield Town’s open-top bus celebrations fail to inspire

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The problem with an open-top bus parade is that it really does rely on people turning up to come and watch. Whilst that is never really a problem for clubs such as Chelsea and a Manchester City, for Blue Square Premier champions Mansfield Town endured a slightly more low-key affair. This image did the rounds [.

Russian linesman banned for life for punching and kicking youth player

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We're all for officials getting more protection from players, but there is little excuse for anyone taking things into their own hands. And this linesman definitely took things into his own hands. The video above shows Russian linesman Musa Kadyrov, who has been banned for life, punching and kicking a player in the head during [.

Rapid Vienna fans build wall to stop underperforming staff entering club

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Fans of clubs are often accused of lying down and taking it when shat on by their respective clubs. It's all very well moaning about ticket prices, but if you keep going to matches then nothing will change. Fans of Rapid Vienna in Austria are the folks to follow if you want an example to [...]

Victor Valdes claims he is ‘too muscly’ to be Barcelona captain

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It does sound rather like a lame excuse, but Victor Valdes is sticking to it. With the goalkeeper expected to leave Barcelona this summer after failing to sign a new deal, Valdes received criticism from fans after appearing to snub the chance to captain his side. With Xavi leaving the field, Valdes was the next [.

Video: Arsenal flop Andre Santos puts a penalty into orbit

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Arsenal fans were pleased to see the back of Andre Santos when he joined Brazilian side Gremio on loan. But it doesn't look like his performances have improved since his return to his homeland. He missed the decisive penalty in a 5-4 shootout defeat to Juventude in the Campeonato Gaúcho semi-final. And boy, did he [.

OTP Rebounds: Spurs star Gareth Bale’s school newspaper clipping, Balotelli offers his girlfriend to Real Madrid and shirt-ripping in Norway

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Rosenborg striker Nicki Bille Nielsen responds to a very harsh red card by ripping off his shirt [Pies] A young Gareth Bale aka Frank the caretaker's son appears in a school newspaper [101GG] Mario Balotelli: "I will gamble on my girlfriend. If Madrid comes back and goes to the final on 25 May, [...]

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 27-28 April

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1. QPR and Reading managed to reduce the relegation dogfight to a whimper. Both teams went down after their 0-0 draw on Sunday; neither side seemed particularly keen to do anything to avoid that fate. 2. Robin Van Persie managed to turn his return to Arsenal into a relatively successful afternoon. It wasn't looking promising [.

Video: David Beckham sent-off for stamp (Evian vs PSG)

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David Beckham's cameo appearance for PSG for a bit more cameo than intended after the former England captain was sent-off. Goldenballs saw red for stamping on the ground. He went over the ball in a challenge with Evian's Youssef Adnane. Although no contact was made, the ref didn't like what he saw and gave Becks [.

GIF It: Arsenal’s Wojciech Szczesny saves from Man Utd’s Robin Van Persie with his face

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One of the advantages of training with Robin Van Persie for years is that, faced with a free header from the Dutchman, Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny knew exactly where to put his face. The Poland international received physio treatment after taking the Manchester United striker's bullet header straight to his schnozzle.

Tottenham’s Gareth Bales scoops PFA Player of the Year and Young Player of the Year awards

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Spurs star Gareth Bale has been named as the PFA Player of the Year and its Young Player of the Year. The 23-year-old picked up both honours both of which are voted for by fellow professionals at a ceremony held last night. He said: "It's a massive honour. To be voted by [...]

Liverpool’s Luis Suarez booed at PFA awards

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Luis Suarez's name was twice booed by an audience comprising mainly fellow players at the PFA awards. The Liverpool striker, currently serving a 10-match ban for biting Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic, was jeered following the announcement that he had been selected in the Premier League team of the year.

Wolves fan desperate to join the pitch invasion, confuses himself with Superman

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Furious Wolves fans mounted a pitch invasion, hurled insults in the direction of owner Steve Morgan and chief executive Jez Moxey, and smashed up the dugout after defeat to Burnley left them on the verge of back-to-back relegations. This lad didn't want to miss out just because he was in a different stand than the [.

GIF It: Robin Van Persie scores (Arsenal vs Man Utd)

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Robin Van Persie's return to Arsenal got a whole lot better after he grabbed this equaliser for Manchester United. He'd been experiencing a tricky afternoon until he was senselessly tripped in the penalty area by Bacary Sagna. RVP picked himself up to convert the resulting spot-kick. Here's Sagna's foul:

GIF It: Man Utd striker Robin Van Persie booked for lunge on Arsenal’s Per Mertesacker

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Robin Van Persie hasn't has the best return to Arsenal so far. First, RVP walked into the wrong dressing room, then he gave the ball away in the build-up to Arsenal's opener and then he was booked for this lunge on former team-mate Per Mertesacker. The Gunners' faithful were inevitably baying for a red card, [.

Video: Man Utd’s Robin Van Persie walks into the Arsenal dressing room

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Robin Van Persie's return to Arsenal got off to the worse possible start when he walked into the home dressing room by mistake. The Manchester United striker strode his familiar route around the Emirates... straight into the Gunners' dressing room. He gave himself a slap to the forehead when he realised his error.

Southend manager Phil Brown gets Jeremy Kyle to give pre-match teamtalk

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If Phil Brown walked into the manager's job at my club I would be rather peeved at the appointment decision, let me tell you. So one could sympathise with Southend United fans when Paul Sturrock was turfed out and replaced by your man Brown. Fast forward six weeks, and the mental news has started. With [.

QPR are relegated, Harry Redknapp and Jose Bosingwa aren’t too fussed

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Both QPR and Reading were both officially relegated to the Championship after their dreadful 0-0 draw. Neither side had a golden chance to win the game, and in truth neither side deserved to in a match that lacked any discernible quality. For QPR, it is the end of a shambolic season which saw them gamble [.

GIF It – Gareth Bale’s karate kick goal for Tottenham v Wigan

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Gareth Bale is probably doing well enough this season without being given more than a helping hand to score, but Wigan goalkeeper Joel Robles did exactly that yesterday. With the score at 0-0, Robles took a backpass from Maynor Figueroa and inexplicably tried to chip the ball over Bale and back to his defender, as [.

Australian A-League annual blooper video

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It has become as much of an Australian tradition as rumours of Shane Warne returning to the test cricket side and an obnoxious arrogant drunkard (careful). Yes, here it is, the annual lowlights reel from the Australian A-League. A few conclusions to draw: 1. There are far too many players completely missing their kicks when [.

FAIL! – Chelsea TV labels Frank Lampard a “former Chelsea player”

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There has been much debate about the Chelsea future of England midfielder Frank Lampard. The international is thought to be considering a move abroad possibly to the LA Galaxy as he has found opportunities to start matches diminished under Rafa Benitez, but fans at Stamford Bridge are loyal to their man.

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger: RVP moved to Man Utd because he was like a 39-year-old woman

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Robin Van Persie left Arsenal for Manchester United because his biological clock was ticking, according to Gunners boss Arsene Wenger. The Frenchman compared his former star striker to a 39-year-old woman who wants her first baby. And he seemed to acknowledge that RVP had to leave in order to fulfil his ambition of winning the [.

Nathaniel Chalobah scores a golazo for Watford against Leicester City

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With Chelsea to have another new manager this summer, one could expect Roman's roubles to again be used to invest significantly in the playing squad. However, there is one Chelsea player who last night scored one of the goals of the season, and at some point will surely be used at Stamford Bridge. Step forward [.

Liverpool’s Stewart Downing struggles with his shooting accuracy – who knew?

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We all knew that Stewart Downing hasn't had the most productive of times at Liverpool since his arrival from Aston Villa, but being worse at shooting than reserve goalkeeper Brad Jones simply confirms those thoughts. The video was a promotional campaign for Paddy Power in which Jones, Downing and Jose Enrique were asked to fire [.

GIF It: David Luiz scores free-kick winner (Basel 1-2 Chelsea)

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David Luiz scored a late winner with the last kick of the Europa League semi-final between Chelsea and Basel. The Brazilian fired a powerful sidefooted free-kick past goalkeeper Yann Sommer, who is likely to be pretty disappointed with his attempts to make a save. Julio Cesar will be pleased!

Tottenham boss Andre Villas Boas is jealous of Chelsea’s fixture pile-up

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Spurs manager Andre Villas Boas says Chelsea's fixture pile-up is actually an advantage for the Blues. AVB reckons the prospect of reaching the Europa League final will give Rafa Benitez and his squad a boost. And he says he would rather his side had as many games left to play this season. He said: "It's [.

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is ‘afraid’ of Chelsea

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Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has admitted he is 'afraid' of Chelsea becoming stronger this summer. The Gunners boss indicated that he is already a big fan of the Blues' crop of young stars and revealed that he fears they will invest heavily in their squad once again this summer. He said: "I'm afraid of what [.

Everton’s Marouane Fellaini to dye his hair silver for charity

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You might have thought that Marouane Fellaini's hair couldn't really get much better, but your limited imagination is about to get blown away. The Belgian has vowed to dye his famous afro silver if football fans can help him reach his charity fundraising target of £25,000. The midfielder is raising money for Everton's Club in [.

Did Ukrainian side Metalist Kharkiv score the quickest ever equaliser?

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We all know the footballing cliche that you are always at your most vulnerable just after you have scored, and Metalist Kharkiv demonstrated that beautifully last weekend. After falling behind to Chornomorets in their Ukrainian Super League game, Khakiv needed a quick response, but probably weren't expecting something quite so rapid.

It’s a huge weekend for…Wigan, Stoke, Wolves and Arsenal

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Wigan Last week's game at West Ham went by without picking up points, and although Wigan created the odd chance, they deserved to get nothing from the game. The problem with everyone stating that Wigan "always pick up points at the end of the season" is that it actually has to happen. Wigan know that [.

Real Madrid players taunted by their fans at Dortmund airport

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You could forgive Real Madrid fans for being rather cheesed off with their team for losing 4-1 in the Champions League semi-final first leg in Dortmund, particularly after being so far off the pace in La Liga. And it appears that the supporters were not going to give the club's players an easy ride, as [.

Spurs’ Gareth Bale’s and Arsenal’s Theo Walcott were the underwear bandits

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Theo Walcott has revealed that he and Spurs star Gareth Bale were the self-styled "underwear bandits" during their Southampton days. That was the name they gave to their bizarre antics, which involved putting pants on their heads and terrorising team-mates in the Saints' academy by rampaging into their rooms and attacking them with pillows.

OTP Rebounds: Man City sponsors raise a laugh out of Man Utd title win, funny Arsenal vs Man Utd preview and the Messi Gallery

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs Manchester City's sponsors Etihad haven't had the last laugh in Manchester United's title success, but they have had a laugh [101GG] Check out the Messi Gallery [Adidas/Facebook] Spartak Moscow coach Valery Karpin suggests he may use the stadium PA system to circumnavigate a touchline ban [Guardian] An, erm, alternative Arsenal [.

GIF It – Robert Lewandowski’s hat-trick goal for Dortmund v Real Madrid

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A simply devastating performance from Robert Lewandowski subjected Real Madrid to a humiliating defeat in the Westfalenstadion last night, with the striker scoring four goals. It was the first time that a player had scored four against Real in European competition, and surely sets up an all-German final.

Volcanic ash stopped Blackburn signing Robert Lewandowski

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Oh Blackburn, Blackburn, Blackburn! How different it might have been. This screengrab from 2010 shows that Rovers were within touching distance of signing a little known Polish striker by the name of Robert Lewandowski. The then Lech Poznan player was set to visit Ewood Park to be wooed while watching the club's glamour clash with [.

Tottenham turned down £5million Robert Lewandowski

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Just a note of interest for Spurs fans, I offered Robert lewandowski to Spurs when he was stll playing in Poland, for less than 5m, pity ! Steve Archibald (@SteveArchibald8) April 24, 2013 It's National Regret Not Signing Robert Lewandowski Day today. After Blackburn's contribution comes this effort from Tottenham.

Brazil releases version of the vuvuzela for 2014 World Cup

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I think we all remember the most annoying aspect of the 2010 World Cup, the infuriating sound of 1,000 vuvuzela's being blown which sounded like an infinite number of wasps reacting to being forcibly penetrated. Well, in their infinite lack of wisdom, the organisers of the 2014 World Cup have decided to create their own [.

Top 10 conclusions: Borussia Dortmund 4-1 Real Madrid

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1. It's all about LEW4NDOWSK1. The four-goal hero delivered a sensational performance to put Borussia on the verge of making it to the Champions League final. 2. Of course, in reality it wasn't all about Lewandowski. He was the star man and focal point in what was a superb team performance. 3. Except Hummels, who [.

FAIL – Irish pundit Eamon Dunphy writes off Borussia Dortmund at half-time of Real Madrid match

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Television pundits do have quite the habit of making horrendous predictions, and one only needs to follow Mark Lawrenson's BBC predictions to confirm that. However, Eamon Dunphy rather opened himself up to ridicule when he put his knackers on the line at half-time of the Champions League semi-final last night.

OTP Rebounds: Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger’s RVP congratulations, Liverpool hit back and Mario Balotelli has more clothing issues

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs Antonio Nocerino not impressed at how long it takes AC Milan team-mate Mario Balotelli to get dressed [101GG] Matt Le Tissier makes his Guernsey debut [BBC] Get your custom-made Barnet coffin [Pies] Arsene Wenger's entirely fictional congrulations to Robin Van Persie on winning the title [Dirty Tackle] Liverpool [.

OTP Rebounds: Lecce player’s bizarre sex scandal, Aston Villa’s Ron Vlaar flexes his maths muscles and Dani Alves: hair stylist

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Dani Alves reinvents himself as a children's hair stylist [Dirty Tackle] A tactical assessment of how Bayern Munich demolished Barcelona [Zonal Marking] Lecce player Ousmane Dramè offers to pay a prostitute with an iPhone 5, reneges, gets stopped in his tracks by a transvestite [101GG] Pique channels Travolta [Pies] Aston Villa defender Ron Vlaar has [.

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez given 10-match ban for biting Branislav Ivanovic

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Liverpool's Luis Suarez has been handed a 10-match ban for his bite on Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic. The Football Association had to decide for how many games the 26-year-old should be suspended after he admitted he a charge of violent conduct. Suarez had disputed an assertion in his FA charge that the usual three-match ban [.

Top 10 conclusions: Bayern Munich 4-0 Barcelona

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1. This particular Champions League Houdini act looks like it will be beyond even the seasoned escapologists of Barcelona. 2. Dante's peak was considerably higher than that of anyone in the Barca defence. Bayern dominated in the air. 3. Lionel Messi can claim to be fully fit all he likes he clearly wasn't.

Video: Arjen Robben sells Bayern Munich team-mate Mario Gomez a beautiful dummy during goal celebration

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We're used to seeing jinking, tricky displays from Bayern Munich winger Arjen Robben... just not usually in his goal celebrations. Once you've admired this great angle of the move leading to his goal, turn your attention to the recently substituted Mario Gomez, who is keen to celebrate the goal. Robben slides on his knees towards [.

Bayern’s Thomas Muller brags about his block on Jordi Alba / dirty dances with Arjen Robben

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Bayern Munich man Thomas Muller was obviously quite pleased with his role in the third goal of last night's 4-0 hammering of Barcelona. Muller got away with a blatant body-check on Barcelona left-back Jordi Alba in the build-up, giving Arjen Robben a clear run on the Barca goal. After the match, the Germany international treated [.

Manchester United add Manchester City advisory to re-run of Aston Villa match

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MUTV, Manchester United's official TV channel, added a cheeky advisory notice to the re-run of the club's title-winning Premier League victory over Aston Villa. Mimicking the film classification certificates displayed before movies, the match received a 'season classifcation' to confirm that it had been a 'title-winning season'.

GIF It: Jordi Alba throws the ball at Arjen Robben’s face (Bayern Munich 4-0 Barcelona)

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Barcelona left-back Jordi Alba gave Bayern Munich's Arjen Robben a rare opportunity to experience genuine pain by throwing the ball at his face during the closing stages of last night's Champions League semi-final. Via 101GG

Indonesia player punches referee after penalty call

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The first thing to say is that this is clearly mentally unacceptable, but Persiwa Wamena striker Pieter Rumaropen has got one hell of a punch on him. The forward was reacting to a rather dodgy penalty decision given in the latter stages of his side's Indonesia Super League match against Pelita Bandung Raya when he [.

If your initials are RVP, be careful when choosing your Twitter handle

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Whilst Manchester United were left joyous after Robin Van Persie's hat-trick made him the Premier League's top scorer and won his side the title, one Indian telecommunications consultant wasn't quite as enamoured. For Ravi Visvesvara Prasad, it just meant another busy night on social media wading through thousands of tweets offering him congratulations, simply because [.

Sunderland owner Ellis Short celebrates win with £1,800 curry tip

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When you are the billionaire owner of a football club that has been struggling all season, it is likely that a consecutive victory will be rather warmly celebrated. When that win comes for your new manager, whose appointment was at best controversial, to move your side closer to safety at a crucial stage of the [.

OTP Rebounds: Danny Welbeck sings Man Utd chants, Liverpool’s Luis Suarez gets zombie wedding invite and Iker’s street sign attacked

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Danny Welbeck took to the mic to entertain team-mates and fans at Manchester United's title-winning night out with United chants. [YouTube] Vandals in Iker Casillas' hometown of Mostoles attack a street sign bearing his name to claim that Diego Lopez is a better goalkeeper [101GG] A couple from Liverpool have taken the corporate buck and [.

Video: Bayern Munich prepare for Barcelona’s Champions League semi-final visit

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Bayern Munich have completed their final training session ahead of tonight's Champions League semi-final first-leg against Barcelona.

CHAMPIONS! Manchester United secure 20th league title with victory over Aston Villa

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Manchester United wrapped up a 20th league title in comfortable fashion: with an easy 3-0 win over Aston Villa and with four games to spare. A Robin Van Persie hat-trick comprising arguably the goal of the season was enough to give Sir Alex Ferguson his 13th taste of Premier League success. You can [.

Eric Abidal’s liver donor cousin travels with Barcelona to Bayern Munich

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Gerard Abidal has travelled to Munich with the Barcelona squad to witness part of his liver playing in a Champions League semi-final. Gerard donated a section of his liver to his cousin, Barca defender Eric Abidal, who had a tumour removed in 2011. After a successful liver transplant last year, Abidal made an incredible return [.

David Luiz dresses up as a Chelsea Pensioner

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Just days too late to sneak into a starring role in Margaret Thatcher's funeral, David Luiz has reinvented himself as a Chelsea Pensioner. The Chelsea centre-back donned the outfit for his fancy dress joint birthday party with team-mate John Obi Mikel. Blues youngster Marko Marin thankfully tweeted photos of the party for the world to [.

Sir Alex Ferguson tips Phil Jones to become Manchester United’s greatest ever player

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Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson took a moment out of his side's title celebrations to pay particular tribute to centre-back Phil Jones. Fergie tipped the former Blackburn youngster to surpass the likes of George Best, Bobby Charlton and Duncan Edwards to become the greatest player to ever grace Old Trafford.

Helen Flanagan, WAG of Man City’s Scott Sinclair: ‘He eats like a horse’

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The girlfriend of Manchester City benchwarmer Scott Sinclair has revealed she has to hit the supermarket every single day to keep up with his eating habits. Former Coronation Street actress Helen Flanagan mentioned her daily shopping trips on behalf of the former Swansea man in her first column for Star magazine.

Arsenal’s Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain reveals Jack Wilshere has screw issues

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Jack Wilshere's latest injury scare is a minor issue caused by a screw in his ankle, according to Arsenal team-mate Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Gooners will have feared the worst when it was touted that the England international will probably undergo another operation at the end of the season. But midfield colleague Oxlade-Chamberlain says the problem only [.

QPR keeper Julio Cesar dons a Chelsea kit for David Luiz’s birthday party

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Earlier today we brought you some entertaining pictures of David Luiz wearing a Chelsea Pensioner's outfit to his fancy dress birthday party. What we didn't realise at the time was that QPR goalkeeper Julio Cesar attended his compatriot's bash, presumably dressed as Luiz. That meant that, in the week that QPR virtually ensured their relegation [.

Man Utd’s Patrice Evra pretends to bite a severed arm

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Manchester United defender Patrice Evra took a cheeky pop at Luis Suarez by pretending to bite a fake arm that was thrown onto the pitch during the title celebrations.

GIF It: Robin Van Persie’s stunning volley (Manchester United vs Aston Villa)

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Manchester United appear to be coasting to the Premier League title against Aston Villa this evening and in some style. Their second goal was this beautiful volley from Robin Van Persie after an inch-perfect ball over the top from Wayne Rooney.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 20-21 April

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1. Before you demonstrate a complete lack of cultural awareness, consider that biting is actually a very common gesture to signify good defending in Uruguay. 2. He might have a taste for human flesh, but Luis Suarez made the race for Champions League football very interesting with his late, late equaliser against Chelsea.

Video: Romanian side uses motorised wheelbarrow as a stretcher, player falls out

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Romanian lower league outfit Timisul Urseni have done away with the traditional stretcher. Instead, their injured players are transported off the pitch in a motorised wheelbarrow. The barrow is clearly a crowd favourite, earning massive cheers as it makes its way onto the pitch. Given the showboating from the 'injured' player as the stretcher heads [.

Top 10 best Luis Suarez biting Photoshop jokes

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1. Colonel Suarez 2. Luis, eat a Snickers 3. Clarice... 4. Der-der, der-der-der-der 5. Good boy, Luis 6. You're my 'earo (he genuinely does follow him) 7. I see sandwiches 8. Muzzled 9. Take-away 10. All-Branislav

Everton manager David Moyes ready to take his relationship with Sunderland boss Paolo Di Canio to the next level

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Everton manager David Moyes appeared to hint that he's ready to become increasingly intimate with Sunderland counterpart Paolo Di Canio. Moyes was caught off-guard by some surprise physical contact from the Italian ahead of Saturday's match at the Stadium of Light. The Toffees boss appeared to hint that he was impressed by Di Canio's hugging [.

Video: Tottenham’s Tom Huddlestone sings Manchester City anthem Blue Moon on the bench

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Given his game-changing substitute appearance, there's no doubting Tom Huddlestone's commitment to the Tottenham cause. But he did provide a comedy moment when TV cameras caught him joining Manchester City fans in a rendition of Blue Moon from the comfort of the Spurs bench. It is a catchy tune. This follows hot on the heels [.

OTP Rebounds: Anger management for Liverpool’s Luis Suarez, Sunderland’s ‘Who Made Pardew Cry?’ t-shirts and Man Utd’s Shinji Kagawa with talking animals

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs PSG's Thiago Silva scores incredible disallowed goal from the by-line [101GG] Bitey Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has been offered anger management classes by the PFA [Guardian] Norwegian side return for pre-season training to discover a road has been built over their pitch [Pies] Sunderland fans spotted wearing rushed-into-production 'Who Made [.

What’s Liverpool striker Luis Suarez’s favourite cereal? All-Branislav, of course

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On Twitter, we joked that Liverpool's Luis Suarez would have some interesting headlines to read as he tucks into his All-Bran(islav) tomorrow morning. The talented @FeintZebra has kindly turned the Uruguayan's favourite fictional cereal into reality. See Suarez biting Branislav Ivanovic here.

Liverpool’s Luis Suarez bites Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic

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Liverpool striker Luis Suarez could be set for another lengthy ban after biting Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic. The Uruguayan striker helped himself to a chunk of Ivanovic's arm during a run-of-the-mill coming together between the pair. He does have biting form having previously sunk his gnashers into PSV Eindhoven's Ottman Bakkal in 2010 during his [.

GIF It: Luis Suarez concedes a penalty with a handball (Liverpool vs Chelsea)

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Luis Suarez and handball controversy are never too far apart. But on this occasion the handball was to the detriment of his team rather than their benefit. The Liverpool striker got a punch to a Chelsea corner during this afternoon's match. Eden Hazard gladly tucked away the resulting spot-kick. And Ghana laughed.

Red Bull Salzburg striker Jonathan Soriano – 24-hour superhero

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Red Bull Salzburg striker Jonathan Soriano might as well just give it all up right now, because however good tomorrow is (or any day for the rest of his life), it simply won't beat Saturday. The Spaniard woke as normal, but was soon forced to rush his wife into hospital as she was expecting the [...]

GIF It: Spurs’ Jermain Defoe scores a thriker against Manchester City

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Spurs had something of a dreary first hour in their game against Manchester City, but Jermain Defoe did what Jermain Defoe does best, giving the home side the lead with a trademark goal. Running into the channel to chase down the ball, Defoe shimmied to one side before smashing a finish into the right hand [.

Utrecht fan sent tumbling by Anthony Lurling shot

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One Dutch fan learnt only too well the lesson of keeping your eye on the ball at all times on Sunday. Utrecht faced NAC Breda, but one home supporter was left annoyed even before the match kicked off, as he was struck on the head by a wayward shot. Anthony Lurling was the guilty party, [...]

GIF It: Sunderland’s Sebastian Larsson attempts to score the greatest own goal ever

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Sunderland midfielder Sebastian Larsson nearly scored the best own goal of all time during yesterday's victory over Everton. The Sweden international unleashed an overhit 45-yard backpass that very nearly lobbed goalkeeper Simon Mignolet. Mignolet was forced into emergency action and had to catch the ball before it sailed over his head and into the net.

Video: Stockport County fans storm pitch, punch Kidderminster player

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One feels a great deal of sympathy for fans of Stockport County. Just three years ago they were playing Leeds in the league, but defeat to Kidderminster yesterday condemned them to Conference North football. However, that gave no excuse whatsoever for the behaviour of a number of fans who stormed onto the pitch after their [.

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger’s hilarious run across Fulham’s pitch

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Arsene Wenger provided some unintentional comedy for the Craven Cottage crowd at the start of the second half of this afternoon's Fulham versus Arsenal clash. Emerging a little late after half-time, Wenger was forced to hurry across the pitch to reach his dugout. Mr Bean obviously getting in some last minute training for tomorrow's London [.

Video: Per Mertesacker’s diving header goal (Fulham 0-1 Arsenal)

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FUL 0-1 ARS by Ourmatches Arsenal opened the scoring in this afternoon's match against Fulham through an unlikely source. Towering defender Per Mertesacker bundled in one of the least stylish diving headers you're ever likely to see. Not that Gooners will be giving marks for presentation. Via 101GG

Peter Crouch’s poor form down to lost teeth, says Stoke City boss Tony Pulis

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Stoke striker Peter Crouch's toothless performances in front of goal are because he has three less teeth than at the start of the season. That's according to Potters boss Tony Pulis. He reckons the 6ft 7in striker's collision with Newcastle defender Fabricio Coloccini last November is the cause of his loss of form.

GIF It: Steve Sidwell’s red card (Fulham vs Arsenal)

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Fulham midfielder Steve Sidwell returned from suspension to start today's game against Arsenal and he lasted 12 minutes before getting sent-off. The former Chelsea man was given his marching orders for this late lunge on Gunners midfielder Mikel Arteta. Via 101GG

Valencia’s Adil Rami misses match with blisters caused by Gangnam Style

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Adil Rami missed Valencia's recent match against Espanyol with blisters sustained in a performance of Gangnam Style. The France international returned to Lille on April 8 to attend a charity concert organised by former team-mate Rio Mavuba. During the event, Rami was brought onto the stage for an impromptu rendition of 2012 most nauseating novelty [.

David Beckham’s children take part in PSG training

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It was always likely that David Beckham's kids would be pretty good at football, and they showed just how much they have been practising with Daddy in the garden. Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz visited Paris St Germain's training camp, and impressed the watching media with their showboating. Brooklyn in particular, now aged 14, is expected [.

Kitman: Everton’s new club crest

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It seems that this may indeed be Everton's new club crest? Firstly to note is the removal of the club's motto 'Nil Satis Nisi Optimum', although that phrase only appeared on the badge since 1991. Without being overly critical, it does seem to have been overly-simplified into something that has been created on Microsoft Paint.

Newcastle United fan removed as juror because he couldn’t give Sunderland fan fair trial

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You know football rivalry has got a little bit big for its boots when it impacts on a rape trial. But after their derby defeat to Sunderland last weekend, one Newcastle United fan took things pretty badly. The fan, who had been selected as a juror on the trial of a man accused of rape, [...]

OTP Rebounds: A league table in which Liverpool are title contenders, an Aston Villa vs Everton epic and a match-worn Garrincha shirt

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs Liverpool pushing Southampton all the way in the 'only goals scored by English players count' Premier League table [Pies] Help yourself to a match-worn Botafogo shirt once belonging to Brazilian great Garrincha. Bidding starts at £16,000 [eBay] Aston Villa and Everton's month-long 1977 League Cup final [Got, Not Got] Boston [.

VIdeo: Neymar is transformed into a comic book character

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As Brazil starts to ramp up towards next summer's World Cup, Neymar's stock will continue to rise. The perfect indication that the Samba Boys' star is very much the man of the moment is that he has been made into a comic book character. Cartoonist and comic book artist Mauricio de Sousa is behind the [.

Video: Venezuela U17 player executes a spectacular ‘Redondo’

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While Zinedine Zidane's 'roulette' move and Ronaldinho's 'flip-flap' are increasingly prominent skills to grace the game, the 'Redondo' made famous by Fernando Rodondo in Real Madrid's dismantling of Manchester United in 2000 is a pretty rare animal indeed. Yet, here is a Redondo spotted in the wilds of the South American Under-17 Championships [.

Video: Manchester United’s Robin van Persie performs ball juggling for BT Sport

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It's hard to say exactly how BT Sport's television coverage of the Premier League will fare next season, but one thing is for sure: Manchester United's Robin van Persie will be part of the promotional package. The Dutchman took to Facebook yesterday to say he was "having fun at the BT Sport shoot" and attached [.

Former West Ham man Alessandro Diamanti is Europe’s most fouled player

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Bologna playmaker Alessandro Diamanti is the most fouled player in Europe so far this season. While you might assume that Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi would be on the receiving end of most rough treatment, it is actually the former West Ham player who's taken a bit of a battering this season. According to figures [.

Loaned out Manchester United flop Bebe reveals Sir Alex Ferguson was ‘always complaining about Nani’

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Manchester United forward Bebe, currently on loan with Portuguese side Rio Ave, revealed some rather entertaining behind-the-scenes information on Sir Alex Ferguson's regime yesterday. Spilling the beans to Mais Futebol website, the £7 million man highlighted the antagonistic relationship between the United manager and regularly under-fire winger Nani.

Video: Guess the football lookalikes

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This entertaining video shows you an image of a professional football lookalike and gives you a couple of seconds to guess who they pretend to be before revealing the answer. There are a couple of corkers in there! Andy Carroll is up there among our favourites...

It’s a huge weekend for…Stoke, Wigan, Palace and Spurs

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Stoke City The Premier League's freefall team, and after victory for Sunderland last weekend, suddenly the most likely team to be dragged into the relegation battle. Manager Tony Pulis this week talked of five cup finals, but statements such as "the season starts now" rather questions his performance until now.

Video: Is this the worst goal ever scored?

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With everyone now a European football hipster, choosing to watch Stade Reims vs Pro Vercelli over Manchester United v Chelsea because of the artistry linking back to the 1920s and 1950s and (rightly) fawning over the glorious beauty of Lionel Messi's dribbling prowess, OTP thought it only right that we bring you back to basics [.

Video: Juninho sent off for New York Red Bulls for kicking ball Jimmy Nielsen (the least brave goalkeeper ever?)

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Sometime you lose a hell of a lot of faith in the game. Whilst there is no doubt really that Brazilian free kick maestro Juninho Pernambacano should have been sent of you simply can't kick the ball at another player and hope not to get your marching orders, the actions of Kansas City Wizards [...]

Video: Juan Mata hand-delivers new Chelsea shirt to fan

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Chelsea star Juan Mata made a personal visit to a Blues supporter's workplace to hand his pre-ordered replica shirt to him. The unsuspecting fan had bought into the club's "it's blue. What else matters?" slogan, which encouraged fans to pre-order the shirt without so much as seeing him. As a thank you, he was plucked [.

OTP Rebounds: Swansea’s Kemy Agustien has more points than QPR, a sweet overhead kick and Man Utd star Phil Jones’ dog twin

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs Sebastián Driussi scores a beautiful overhead kick for Argentina under-17. Shades of Trevor Sinclair. [101GG] Swansea midfielder Kemy Agustien has clocked up an impressive 39 points on his driving licence. He's now banned, unsurprisingly [Dirty Tackle] Manchester United utility man Phil Jones' doggy doppelganger [@paddypower] See how much debt each [.

Sligo Rovers dumped out of Setanta Cup by Irish newspaper the Herald

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It was quite a shock when Irish league champions Sligo Rovers lost their match against Drogheda United in the Setanta Cup semi-final, but the Herald newspaper took things a little too far. The paper reported that Sligo had been "dumped out of the competition", which is well and good, but last night was just the [.

GIF It: David De Gea gets taken out by a surface-to-air Andy Carroll (West Ham 2-2 Manchester United)

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David De Gea might have built a bit of a reputation for being uncomfortable with high balls flying towards him, but there isn't a goalkeeper in the land who could cope with a high Andy Carroll flying towards him. The Manchester United keeper dealt with this particular cross without any problems... until West Ham striker [.

Video: Andy Carroll vs Wayne Rooney (West Ham 2-2 Manchester United)

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Occasional England team-mates Andy Carroll and Wayne Rooney clashed during last night's West Ham versus Manchester United match. The pair tangled at the corner that led to Carroll's head-first assault on David De Gea. After a bit of usual set-piece pushing and shoving, Rooney appeared to tread on Carroll's foot, Sunday League style.

Arsenal fan receives insurance payout over Gareth Bale’s derby goal for Tottenham

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A Norwegian Arsenal fan has received compensation after dislocating his shoulder when Spurs took the lead in last month's north London derby. Sverre Litleskare popped his shoulder out of it socket when he raised his right arm too quickly in his attempt to show his disgust at Gareth Bale's opener. While watching the match with [.

Video: Tottenham defender Michael Dawson shows off his cricket skills

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Spurs centre-back Michael Dawson showed he's not too shabby with a cricket bat after a session in the nets with England bowler Stuart Broad. Dawson said: "It's been a long time since I've had a game of cricket. "When I put the pads on and the glove and what have you, get down and then [...]

GIF It|: Chelsea defender David Luiz’s golazo vs Fulham

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Chelsea had a great deal of attacking talent on show during their West London derby against Fulham last week, but it took three goals from two of their centre backs to win the game. Whilst John Terry scored a double to seal the game, it was the first goal that drew Twitter into meltdown. And [...]

Kitman: Chelsea unveil new home kit

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Chelsea have unveiled the new home kit at the scene of a Smurf massacre. David Luiz, Gary Cahill, Fernando Torres and Oscar are all implicated in the vicious and sustained attack on the Smurfs, with the Stamford Bridge old guard are conspicuous in their absence from the main publicity photo for the new kit.

Who was better: Real Madrid’s Galacticos or Pep’s Barcelona team?

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Two of the best teams to have graced not only La Liga but the world football stage are undoubtedly are the 'first' galacticos of Real Madrid and Pep Guardiola's Barcelona team of recent years. But which team exactly boasted the best possible squad? Starting with Real, huge fortunes were spent on the likes of Luis [.

Bristol City manager Sean O’Driscoll with tannoy music after relegation

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When you have had some horrid news, the last thing you want is to be patronised, and Bristol City manager Sean O'Driscoll certainly failed to see the funny side of a joke at Ashton Gate in midweek. With the home side's relegation confirmed after defeat at home to Birmingham City, the man in charge of [.

GIF It: Gormless Nemanja Vidic (West Ham vs Manchester United)

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Manchester United captain Nemanja Vidic was in a world of his own in the tunnel ahead of this evening's match against West Ham United. He stood smiling at nothing in particularly for an unsettling length of time.

OTP Rebounds: Aston Villa skipper Stiliyan Petrov ‘lucky to be alive’, Cardiff owner favours the Simon Cowell look and Croatian coach steals player’s wallet to buy Jagermeister

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs Stiliyan Petrov says he's lucky to be alive after leukaemia [AVFC TV] Kenyan referee launches £250,000 lawsuit after assault leaves him unable to "enjoy his conjugal rights" [Pies] Cardiff owner Vincent Tan wears his trousers high. Really high [@SavileRogue] Newcastle's Ryan Taylor could miss all of next season [Guardian] Ex-Dinamo [.

Video: Slurry Arsenal benchwarmer Andrey Arshavin tries to pick a fight

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Andrey Arshavin's time at Arsenal has generally been a bit of an embarrassment but this might be a new low. Footage has emerged of a drunk-looking Arshavin staggering around outside a London nightclub, seemingly trying to pick a fight. It appears Arshavin wants to get back into the club to track down a fellow [.

Sepp Blatter unveils portrait of himself, declares war on baseball

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FIFA president Sepp Blatter is in the Dominican Republic to play his part in the fight against the evils of baseball. Blatter unveiled a portrait of himself before turning his attention to rounders on steroids, a sport so heinous that he can't even bring himself to utter its name. You see, the sport whose name [.

Video: Everton’s Kevin Mirallas squirts water at Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere

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Arsenal and Everton were involved in an angry bust-up at half-time in last night's 0-0 draw after Kevin Mirallas appeared to squirt water at Jack Wilshere. The Toffees star sneakily fired the water bottle behind him, scoring a direct hit on the Gunners' midfielder. The incident dubbed Watergate, naturally sparked on angry response [.

Cardiff City secure promotion to the Premier League, mount impressive pitch invasion

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It's official: next season the league known to most people outside the UK as the English Premier League will be one-tenth Welsh. Cardiff City last night confirmed their promotion to the top-flight with a 0-0 draw against Charlton. That ensured that they will go up against south Wales rivals Swansea next season.

Aston Villa midfielder Fabian Delph would miss birth of child to help relegation fight

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Fabian Delph says he and his heavily pregnant girlfriend have agreed that he will miss the birth of their first child if it happens during an Aston Villa match. The 23-year-old is due to become a father next month and says he will skip the birth if it means helping Paul Lambert's side to retain [...]

Chelsea players get ‘short shrift’ over Europa League bonus enquiry

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Chelsea's players reportedly got a very prompt reply to their enquiries as to whether they would be in line for a bonus for winning the Europa League. The Champions League holders put out the feelers to see if they would be in-line for a bumper pay day if they won Uefa's second-tier silverware instead this [.

Alleged Newcastle horse puncher Barry Rogerson insists he’s an animal lover

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The Newcastle fan alleged to have punched a horse following last weekend's derby defeat to Sunderland insists he's an animal lover. Unemployed factory work Barry Rogerson, aged 45, from Morpeth, reeled off a list of pets and a penchant for feeding foxes in mitigation for his attack on a police horse.

Your first look at FIFA 14

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The first sneak previews of FIFA 14 have been released and it promises to be tiki-taka-tastic. Among the new features are four that encourage users to build play through midfield and dictate the tempo of a match. Those features are: Protect The Ball, which will enable players to fend-off and block defenders from the [.

Video: Stefano Sorrentino forgets how this backpass lark works (Palermo vs Bologna)

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Palermo keeper Stefano Sorrentino suffered an absolute howler at the weekend when he appeared to momentarily forget the backpass rule. He received the ball from team-mate Michel Morganella not the greatest backpass you'll ever see, but manageable. Rather than clearing the ball with his feet, Sorrentino opts to half think about making a save [.

Top 10 reasons why PSG is the perfect move for Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney

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1. There are potential entertaining French-themed headline for every occasion: Roo-la-la, Sacre Roo, Au Roo-voir, Deja Roo. 2. His mum's called Jeanette Marie. Sounds pretty French to us. 3. A regular smoker, Rooney is already au fait with the Catarrh Investment Authority. 4. David Beckham. 5. Fewer people will hear about it when he's dropped [.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger’s confusing messages on jeopardising Jack Wilshere’s career

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Arsene Wenger has been giving some conflicting reports on Jack Wilshere's welfare. The Arsenal boss has admitted that he 'rushed' the England international back into first-team action for Saturday's victory over Norwich. The midfielder played for 59 minutes of the 3-1 win. Wenger said: "I rushed Jack back a bit.

Video: Arsene Wenger suffers zip problems yet again (Arsenal 3-1 Norwich)

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Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger's ongoing war with his coat saw another vicious battle at the weekend. In the opening stages of Saturday's home win over Norwich, the Frenchman was captured by TV cameras once again engaged in hand-to-hand combat with his knee-length puffa jacket. This time it was the zip that was causing Wenger problems.

OTP Rebounds: Sunderland fans’ dirty knees chant, QPR finance plot thickens and Arsenal better without Jack Wilshere

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs Sunderland fans rather like Paolo Di Canio. And they want dirty knees too [101GG] QPR secure a bank loan the first in Tony Fernandes' time at the club [Guardian] Arsenal are better when Jack Wilshere doesn't play [Daily Mail] Uli Hoeness on a scooter, riding down the touchline [Dirty [.

FC Utrecht score dreadful own goal

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FC Utrecht didn't have the greatest first half against AZ Alkmaar at the weekend. Ex-Hull City striker Jozy Altidore had already scored a hat-trick when the away side made things worse for themselves when defender Mike van der Hoorn scored a ridiculous own goal just before the break. The ball was crossed into the box, [.

Everton chairman Bill Kenwright gives touching Hillsborough memorial speech

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Yesterday afternoon marked the 24th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster. Given the phenomenal progress achieved in their cause this year, it was always going to be a hugely emotional occasion charged with passion, pride and sadness. Everton Chairman Bill Kenwright marked the occasion superbly by giving a touching speech, in which he remembered standing on [.

Michael Laudrup turns on the style against Press XI

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Swansea players have previously stated that their manager could easily still cut it in the Premier League, and we now have the clear evidence. One imagines that the This Is South Wales press XI probably had a rather easier game against Swansea City's staff team when Brendan Rodgers was in charge of the Swans, but [.

Switzerland and FC Basel legend Alexander Frei scores golazo free kick in last ever game

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There is a lot to piss you off about football, but just occasionally it throws up something beautiful, a fairy tale moment that makes you sure things will be ok. Alex Frei is something of an FC Basel legend, and the striker signed himself off in perfect fashion at the weekend. The 33-year-old is retiring [.

Paolo Di Canio’s first fascist salute since arriving at Sunderland

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While his touchline moshing and knee-slide got all the attention, OTP discovered this less acceptable celebration among Paolo Di Canio's post-match activities following yesterday's derby win over Newcastle. OK, OK... We know he's not really doing a fascist salute. Yes, we paused the Sky+ box to catch him in this compromising position.

GIF It: Reading’s Noel Hunt practices for his photoshoot with ZOO Magazine

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With little chance of grabbing a goal during his side's 0-0 draw with Liverpool, Reading forward Noel Hunt instead decided to strike sexy poses on the pitch ahead of a photoshoot with ZOO magazine. Cheeky.

Manchester City defender Micah Richards sings Manchester United’s Michael Carrick song

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This bizarre footage comes ahead of Manchester City catching the train to London for yesterday's FA Cup semi-final against Chelsea. Defender Micah Richards can clearly be heard strolling along the platform at Stockport station singing Manchester United fans' chant in honour of Michael Carrick. Richards sings: "Hard to believe it's not Scholes, it's Carrick, you [.

Video: América-SP’s Pilo take the worst penalty of all time

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Yes, we all mocked Chris Waddle, Sergio Ramos et al, but at least they kicked the ball in the right direction. This woeful spot-kick comes from Brazil's Paulista A3 division. América-SP midfielder Pilo won the penalty and took it himself. A slip during his run-up led to Pilo scuffing the ball horribly, causing his attempt [.

Video: Crazy Newcastle fan punches a police horse

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What do you do after a big defeat to your fiercest rivals? Go out of the stadium and pick a fight with the nearest horse, of course. At least that was the response of this Newcastle fan to yesterday's loss at home to Sunderland. For some reason best known to himself, this moron decided to [...]

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 13-14 April

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1. Sunderland's dry cleaning bill is going to rival Danny Graham's transfer fee as the Black Cats' biggest waste of money in 2013 if Paolo Di Canio carries on like that. 2. Arsenal mounted a fightback against Norwich built on the dodgy officiating foundations of a wrongly awarded corner, a soft penalty and an offside [.

Questions raised over Reading manager Nigel Adkins’ coaching staff appointments

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Cuddly backroom staff is definitely not the way to shed the nice guy image, Nigel.

Fernando Torres wears some fake glasses over his mask (Chelsea vs Manchester City)

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Fearing he didn't look daft enough wearing his mask, Fernando Torres (or Zorres as he's been renamed by virtue of the mask) donned a pair of fake spectacles during this afternoon's FA Cup semi-final defeat to Manchester City. The Spaniard was displeased at referee Chris Foy's failure to award him a penalty in the closing [.

GIF It: Sergio Aguero tries to penetrate David Luiz, feet first (Chelsea 1-2 Manchester City)

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Manchester City striker Sergio Aguero was lucky to stay on the field for the whole of this afternoon's FA Cup semi-final victory over Chelsea after this two-footed assault on David Luiz's backside. After an elbow to the chest from Luiz, Aguero completely lost his temper and launched into the horror tackle you see above.

Video: Robin Van Persie wrongly told he’s man of the match, forced to hand trophy to Manchester United team-mate Wayne Rooney

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Robin Van Persie ended his Manchester United goal drought from the penalty spot during today's victory against Stoke. He obviously thought his neat spot-kick had earned him some plaudits when Geoff Shreeves oversaw the presentation of the man of the match award during his post-game interview. The only problem being that Sky Sports viewers knew [.

FC Dallas defender George John hit by bottle after scoring winner – thrown by his own supporter

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The stereotypical view of an American is that he doesn't know much about football, and it seems that they don't know very much about idiotic fan behaviour, judging by this. When George John of FC Dallas headed home in the 87th minute of his side's game against LA Galaxy to win the match, one would [.

Zinedine Zidane romances his wife by buying her a football club

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Zinedine Zidane is a Frenchman, and we all know that the French are notorious for their romantic nature. Whether it is flowers, wine, chocolates or exapensive jewellry, the just get things exactly right. Well, rather than toeing the typical line Zidane has broken the mould, buying his wife Veronique Fernandez a football club.

Newport County match delayed because goalposts were too high

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This is something that you certainly don't see very often, if ever. Newport County's Blue Square Premier match against Alfreton Town was delayed after the officials at the ground refused to start the match as they believed that one of the goals was higher than the other. It seems rather bizarre, particularly as presumably these [.

GIF It: Paolo Di Canio’s knee-slide celebration (Sunderland vs Newcastle)

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The first job for Paolo Di Canio after guiding Sunderland to victory in today's Tyne-Wear derby against Newcastle is to get a phone number for Jose Mourinho's dry cleaner. The Black Cats' new manager was left with grubby knees after this Special One-esque celebration.

GIF It: Sunderland’s Stephane Sessegnon opens the scoring against Newcastle

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Stephane Sessegnon has given Sunderland the lead over Newcastle in this lunchtime's Tyne-Wear derby. The Black Cats star fired a low shot into the bottom-left corner to beat Magpies keeper Tim Krul. Via Feint Zebra

Paolo Di Canio’s restrained reaction to Sunderland scoring against Newcastle

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NEW 0-1 SUN by Samu21213 Like a young Martin O'Neill.

Video: Ref Mark Clattenburg forgets his cards (Reading 0-0 Liverpool)

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Referee Mark Clattenburg suffered an embarrassing moment during yesterday's encounter between Reading and Liverpool when he realised he had forgotten his cards. Clattenburg forgot to bring his notepad and yellow and red cards out for the second-half of the match. He only realised he had left the items in his dressing room when he attempted [.

Lithuanian goalkeeper channels Bruce Grobbelaar to save penalty

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It would be fair to say that this goalkeeper isn't really acting in the spirit of the game, but it's still a mightily impressive way of putting of the penalty taker. Maris Eltermanis of FC Kruoja is the guilty party, who managed to distract the Sudova player enough to make him miss the target. The [.

Brilliant videos created to celebrate 50 years of the German Bundesliga

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Whilst most football adverts have gone rather woeful in nature (Luis Figo's Just For Men as the prime example "Fur me, eets nummer wun), this from Coke Zero is rather brilliant. To celebrate 50 years of the German Bundesliga, the two videos celebrate some of the best players, goals and skills in the league's [.

Brazilian Ronaldinho’s skills celebrated in flipbook form

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STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW. Thank you, because this deserves respect. It might be a little bit nerdy, but you have to be hugely impressed by anyone that has spent such an incredible amount of time creating something that is essentially useless, but so so beautiful. Someone has posted a Youtube video which [.

Video: Millwall fans fight each other and steal policeman’s hat

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Wigan's FA Cup semi-final victory over Millwall was marred by violent scenes among the Lions' supporters. Millwall fans clashed with each other and police during the second half of yesterday's match at Wembley. Fights broke out between the Championship side's supporters, leaving several supporter bloodied.

Liverpool join the hunt for Swansea’s Ashley Williams

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Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers is set to continue his efforts to rebuild Swansea on Merseyside with a summer move for Swans captain Ashley Williams. The centre-back has been in imperious form this season, sparking a reported £9 million bid from Arsenal in January. That offer was turned down, and The Sun reports that a bid [.

Video: Bosnia-Herzegovina youngster Nermin Zolotić suffers horrific dangly broken leg

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FK Željezničar Sarajevo midfielder Nermin Zolotić suffered the sort of broken leg destined to sicken millions of YouTube viewers during this week's Bosnia-Herzegovina Premier League match with HK Zrinjski Mostar. The 19-year-old ended up with the lower section of his leg trapped underneath the boot of an opponent, with the remainder of his leg at [.

Chelsea duo Frank Lampard and David Luiz in half-time bust-up

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Chelsea team-mates Frank Lampard and David Luiz had to be separated as they clashed at half-time in last night's Europa League match against Rubin Kazan. Luiz was held back by Yossi Benayoun possibly the world's worst candidate for a bouncer while goalkeeper Petr Cech stepped in to make sure Lampard didn't take things [.

Infographic: The finances behind David Beckham’s deal at PSG

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Love him or loathe him, there's no denying the impact that David Beckham has had on the global football stage. From his early days as a 17-year old with Manchester United, through his controversial signing with Real Madrid, and then his trip across the pond to act as a defibrillator for Major League Soccer, Goldenballs [.

Crawley Town to spend £35,000 on catering this summer

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Whilst most lower league clubs will be curbing spending this summer given the lack of finances at such a level. Loan deals will be supplemented by youngsters and possible non-league prospects. Crawley Town, however, seem to be operating on a different financial sphere to the rest, because they have announced plans to spend £35,000 on [.

It’s a huge weekend for…Blackburn, Wigan, Sunderland and Benitez

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Wigan Rent-a-quote owner Dave Whelan may have reiterated his desire for prioritising Premier League survival over the FA Cup, and understandably so, but after seven points from their last three league games they have least earnt the right to enjoy Saturday's FA Cup semi-final. Wigan have a match against a Championship side to earn a [.

GIF It: Emmanuel Adebayor’s woeful penalty miss

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Oh dear, this really does rather sum up Emmanuel Adebayor. As Spurs lost to Basel on penalties in the quarter final of the Europa League, Twitter as one made the prediction that Adebayor would miss his spot kick, and prescient that turned out to be. The Togolese striker skied his penalty sky high over the [.

Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho picks kit man picked from obscurity

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Rather a strange one this, but certainly one of football's true fairy tale stories. Abel Rodriguez is a 41-year-old Mexican who has a job cleaning underground stations in New York. A huge fan of Real Madrid, he has spent the last few summers volunteering as a ball boy for the club's tour of America, and [.

Brazilian Damilo turns away from skied shot – and it goes in

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Brazilian football has it's fair share of downright crazy, but thankfully last night's shenanigans didn't involve riot police, fires or referees being kicked in the head. Instead, this was a ridiculous goal. Danilo of CRAC ensured that his side beat top flight Nautico in the Copa do Brasil thanks to a rather odd second half [.

Premier League to use Hawkeye goal-line technology from next season

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All Premier League matches will use goal-line technology from the start of next season. Representatives of all 20 Premier League clubs ratified a decision to implement Hawkeye technology from next season. The Community Shield at Wembley is likely to be the first game in English football to use the technology.

American female freestyler Indi Cowie’s crossbar video

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Football freestyler Indi Cowie possesses some unbelievable skills, and this video is the perfect showcase for that. The theme of the Youtube hit is 'hitting the bar' and shows any number of ways that Cowie can perform a whole set of skills before volleying the ball against the crossbar. American Cowie now lives in Scotland [.

Juventus striker Mirko Vucinic celebrates goal by getting naked

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We all know the rules regarding getting a booking for taking off your shirt when socring, but it is fair to say that Mirko Vucinic went at least one stage further than that. The Montenegrin striker scored the opener against Pescara at the weekend, and went absolutely crazy, taking off his shorts to swing them [.

GIF It: Lionel Messi relieves some substitute’s boredom (PSG 1-1 Barcelona)

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It's safe to say that Lionel Messi would rather be playing football than sitting on the bench. His role as a substitute during the first-half of last night's Champions League clash with PSG generated some interesting GIFs, not least the one above. Such was Messi's boredom, he even started pretending to be on a teenage [.

Video: Highlights of Borussia Dortmund’s dramatic Champions League win over Malaga

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Borussia Dortmund pulled off the sort of comeback you'd normally only associate with Manchester United and Lazarus to progress in the Champions League. At 90 minutes, the German side looked dead and buried. They were trailing Malaga 1-2 and needed two goals in order to avoid going out on away goals. And they only went [.

GIF It: Borussia Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp has a seriousness switch in his sideburn

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You know sometimes you get the giggles and it either wasn't that funny or the situation demands you stop laughing uncontrollably? Well, Borussia Dortmund coach Jurgen Klopp has tackled this problem by having a seriousness controller fitted in his sideburn. Whenever Klopp feels he's laughing a bit too much, he simply needs to slide his [.

West Ham fans compare Liverpool’s Jonjo Shelvey to a Harry Potter character

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Arguably the most entertaining moment of Liverpool's 0-0 draw with West Ham at the weekend was a humorous chant aimed at Reds sub Jonjo Shelvey. Hammers fans sung: "He's coming for you, He's coming for you, Harry Potter is coming for you!" The chant was a reference to Shelvey's more than passing resemblance to Lord [.

Boyband One Direction train with Newcastle

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Surprise arrivals at Newcastle's training ground are usually of the French persuasion. But they upped their English (and Irish) quota by parachuting in boyband One Direction for a training session. A veteran Magpies five-a-side team of manager Alan Pardew and coaching staff John Carver, Andy Woodman, Steve Stone and Peter Beardsley defeated the poptastic triallists, [.

Lionel Messi is not as good as Japanese robot goalkeeper

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Oh dear, we might think that as a species we have got rather good at football, but when the robots do finally get a team together we're in big trouble, because the keeper is bloody brilliant. Lionel Messi took part in a Japanese game show where he had to take on a robot goalkeeper, and [...]

Physio’s electronic buggy breaks down during Brazilian match

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You might think that the greatest thing in football might be a goalkeeper scoring or a dog getting on the pitch, but you'd be wrong. However, during a Pernambucan championship game between Sport Recife and Belo Jardim in Brazil, the electronic cart that takes off injured players broke down, and that's the greatest thing.

Swedish game abandoned after players hit with bottles and fruit

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A Swedish match between Djurgarden and Mjallby was abandoned yesterday after Djurgarden fans threw bottles and fresh fruit at opposing players after their side conceded a contraversial goal. Mjallby players were also hit with coins after fans were left fuming after Yussif Chibsah went down injured, but no free kick was awarded.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 6-7 April

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1. The battle for fourth is hotting up after Tottenham's draw with Everton. It looks like that and one relegation place is what we'll all be talking about on the last day of the season. 2. Harry Redknapp has been saying for weeks that Bobby Zamora would kickstart QPR's relegation fight. We're not sure that's [.

Kitman: Barnsley play in Crystal Palace’s away kit

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Barnsley were forced to play their Championship clash with Crystal Palace in their opponents' away kit on Saturday. Ahead of the match, referee Kevin Stroud decided that both Barnsley's home and away strips were to similar to Palace's red and blue home kit. Left with no suitable kit to wear, the Tykes had to don [.

Video: Newcastle manager Alan Pardew celebrates with the crowd, loses his keys

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Alan Pardew claimed one of Newcastle's supporters must have his keys after he celebrated his side's late winner against Fulham with the crowd. The Toon boss initially faced the St James' Park to soak up some messiah worship, but soon decided he would look a lot less arrogant if he mixed with the fans.

GIF It: Adel Taarabt literally ducks the chance to help QPR avoid relegation

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Adel Taarabt is never usually too far away from controversy. QPR fans have to watch his fleeting moments of sheer brilliance sprinkled amid a lot of frustrating and baffling displays. But he can rarely have been quite as frustrating is in the closing stages of yesterday's 1-1 draw with relegation rivals Wigan.

GIF It: Sergio Aguero’s sensational winner (Manchester United 1-2 Manchester City)

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Manchester United fans can afford themselves a few "you may have won the battle..." themed analogies this morning after their 1-2 home defeat to Manchester City last night. While Sergio Aguero's fantastic goal is unlikely to have any impact on the title, it was certainly worthy of winning the match.

Matthew Le Tissier signs for Guernsey FC at 44 years of age

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In this country we have a great affection for the one-club man, a demonstration of loyalty in an industry in which that quality is rarely displayed. Even better when that club is not one of the largest in the league. Well, ladies and gentleman, sometimes even your heroes let you down, because we can now [.

Irate Bulgarian coach steals referee’s cards and chucks them away

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This has to be one of the most entertaining andunbelievable hissy-fits we have ever witnessed from a football manager. The match in question is a top-tier Bulgarian clash between CSKA Sofia and Botev Vratsa and the madness kicks off when a Botev player concedes a red card for a handball in his own area.

Kitman: New England Nike shirt

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When England take on the Republic of Ireland at the end of May it will mark the first occasion on which they shall where a Nike kit after ending their long association with Umbro. There has been a lot of discussion about what look Nike would go for, but for me the navy collar gives [...]

Kitman: Barnsley forced to play in Crystal Palace’s away kit

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The attached footage of the game is admittedly rather grainy but it gets across the rather amateur and Sunday League message perfectly. Barnsley travelled to Selhust Park yesterday to face Crystal Palace, but they ended up wearing the away kjit of their opponents after the referee deemed that Barnsley's away shirt clashed with the Palace [.

Dogs dressed in Real Madrid and Barcelona kits play their very own El Clásico

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Sure the El Clásico games are full of immense skill, but the constant match-ups in the league, Copa del Rey and Champions League have started to take the shine off the event. Familiarity can breed contempt. In contrast, circus performer Davide Zimmari can breed footballer dogs. The eccentric showman has re-injected some sense of spontaneity [.

Football joker Jimmy Bullard plays role of cowboy in music video

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It still hurts us to accept that former Wigan and Fulham midfielder Jimmy Bullard has hung up his boots for good.Happily,his comedy capers haven't totally dried up since he retired from the game back in October. In the music video above, Bullard plays the starring role for band Gorgeous George in their new song 'John [.

South African pitch invader smacks referee with a vuvuzela

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Throughout the 2010 World Cup in South Africa there were calls to ban the vuvuzela, primarily because of the ear drum-persecuting drone that they insist upon. Now there's an even more pressing reason to cork the plastic horns one has been used to assault a match official! The sour note happened in the first [.

BBC ring up wrong Michael Gray to discuss Martin O’Neill

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When BBC 5Live wanted to speak to former Sunderland and England defender Michael Gray about Martin O'Neill and the managerial situation at Sunderland, they made a rather serious mistake. One would have thought that workers on the show would realise the potential for multiple individuals in the UK with that particular name, but apparently not.

GIF It: Scott Parker misses a wonderful open goal

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Oh dear Scott E. Parker. With the feeling growing in the game that just two years after winning Player of the Year Scott Parker is useful for nothing more than a 270-degree turn and a three yard sideways pass, the midfielder confirmed that he cannot be trusted to operate in the opposition penalty area.

Lebanese officials charged with fixing matches for sexual favours

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It is widely accepted that football corruption is most rife in Asia, but pretty sure that most authorities believed that games were thrown for financial reasons. However, three Lebanese officials have been charged been throwing an AFC match in Singapore. However, rather than financial gain, the officials were allegedly paid in free sexual gratification.

Manchester United Bring In Sound Experts To Help Improve Old Trafford Atmosphere

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Over the years football fans have found many things to jibe Manchester United about supposed 'glory hunter' fans and 'Fergie time' for starters. But sitting atop the list is the mocking of Old Trafford's meek atmosphere despite their enormous 76,000-seater capacity. With sections of the crowd claiming they are screaming their hearts out at [.

Newcastle defender Steven Taylor unleashes his handball-fake-injury routine again!

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It's safe to say that Newcastle defender Steven Taylor's amateur dramatics after handling a goal-bound shot against Aston Villa has gone down in football folklore as one of the greatest moments in football history. It's up there with Gordon Banks' save from Pele. And he reprised his routine during last night's Europa League defeat to [.

Tottenham star Gareth Bale’s nasty looking ankle injury

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Spurs' battle for Champions League football appeared to take a blow last night after their talisman, Gareth Bale, was stretchered off during the Europa League clash with Basel. Bale's ankle twisted to right angles, forcing him off the pitch late in last night's match. But manager Andre Villas Boas has since delivered some optimistic news.

It’s a huge weekend for… Di Canio, Villa, QPR and Adkins

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Paolo Di Canio There has been far too plenty spouted about Paolo Di Canio's appointment this week, but whatever your thoughts on the fashion of fascism, in footballing terms it was clear that a change was needed at the Stadium of Light. Sunderland are winless in eight games, which includes fixtures against QPR, Reading, Norwich [.

Five more managers shown the door in March as clubs look to beat the drop

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Panic has set in among many boardrooms over the past few weeks as chairmen roll the dice for the last time in the hope that a change in manager will be enough to turn fortunes around in the latter stages of the football season and in most cases, avoid relegation! March saw a total of [...]

Videos: Outtakes from Manchester United’s telepathic football challenge

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Last week, OTP brought you a video of Wayne Rooney and Danny Welbeck battling it out with Dwight Yorke and Andy Cole does see who is the most telepathic strike partnership. Now, have a look at the equally entertaining outtakes video. It's so good, we'd go as far to say it's one-dimensional.

Just the worst free kick routine you have ever seen. Bar none.

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We offer our humblest apologies for being a touch late to this because there really is no excuse whatsoever. For what plays above is the oddest (but more importantly most calamitous) set piece routine in the history of modern football. SC Weiz of Austria are the culprits for this steaming pile of faeces, which begins [.

Celtic manager Neil Lennon charged after calling St Mirren player “a f*cking fanny”

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Oh Neil Lennon, such a sweet and mild-mannered manager! The Celtic boss is facing a possible three-match ban after being reported for swearing profusely at Jim Goodwin of St Mirren during their clash last weekend. After Goodwin made a challenge that Lennon did not like, the manager shouted: ""Well done Jim, you're a f**king hard [.

Mario Gotze ‘relieves himself’ by Malaga pitch

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Well, how rude. Mario Gotze may have done a lot of nice things since his move to Borussia Dortmund, but the midfielder rather let himself down during a training session before his side's Champions League quarter final first leg against Malaga. After going to retrieve a wayward ball from over the advertising hoardings, Gotze clearly [.

Check out the new goal-line technology in action

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With the news that goal-line technology will be introduced during the Confederations Cup this summer in preparation for its use in the World Cup in Brazil the following year, this video shows the technology in action. And we'dhave bloody won it last time if Lampard's goal had gone in etc etc. The system has been [.

Everton manager David Moyes = Pimp

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Football management is a very intense career, with a rollercoaster of emotions created almost every day at work. Moreover, David Moyes is one of the most intense managers in the game, with his eyes almost popping out of his head every time his Everton side fail to win a throw in that Moyes believes to [.

Football Manager creates great April fool

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Above is a rather impressive April Fool created by the Football Manager computer game series. They had an idea to create a mini version of the game that encompassed the first ever league season, complete with a sepia-tinged image of the game's logo. Particularly impressive is the tagline "So good, it's unreal".

Galatasaray’s Emmanuel Eboue dicks about in Turkish interview

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Emmanuel Eboue has always been something of a 'character', caring more about funny dancing and ridiculous baseball caps than actually defending, and he was always good for a comedy sending off. Now at Galatasaray (and about to face Real Madrid in the Champions League quarter final), Eboue has not necessarily calmed down in Turkey, as [.