Off the Post Archives for January 2013

Journalists give Harry Redknapp a birthday cake

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We all know that 'Arry is one of the journalists favourites. He is a rent-a-quote, he is one of the boys and he generates headlines, it is that simple. However, on Friday it all got a little bit vomit-inducing when Sky Sports News journalists presented Harry with a birthday cake at his press conference and [.

Napoli’s Edinson Cavani elbows Giorgio Chiellini of Juventus

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Edinson Cavani is something of a dreamboat. He has power, he has pace, he has goals and he has flowing locks. However, despite reaching almost deistic levels in my mind there is no doubt that this is rather bloody naughty. Napoli hosted Juventus on Friday night in a clash of the top two in Serie [...

Brazil to install double seats at 2014 World Cup for fat people

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Brazil have announced that they will be installing a number of double seats in the stadia for the World Cup next year, in an effort to allow fat people to attend games. Authorities have announced that disability laws in the country mean that they will be forced to inclube the 'fatty' seats in their designs, [.

Clubs hit panic button as eight Football League managers depart in February

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February may be the shortest month of the year but there was still more enough time for the Sack Race merry-go-round to gather pace. As the business end of the season draws closer, plenty of chairmen and owners were clearly getting twitchy during February, with a number of managers finding themselves out of work entering [.

Arsenal midfielder threatens to put a Tottenham scarf down his pants

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Arsenal youngster Emmanuel Frimpong has stirred things up ahead of Sunday's north London derby in his own unique way. The midfielder, currently on loan at Fulham, pretended to put a Tottenham scarf down his pants during a live stream video broadcast.

It’s a huge weekend for..Southampton, Everton, Allardyce and Mourinho

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Southampton Mauricio Pochettino's effect at Southampton has been largely accepted to determine that Southampton will survive relegation, but after their defeat at Newcastle are just three points off the bottom three. This weekend, however, they have the chance to surely relegate one of their rivals. QPR visit St Mary's needing a victory.

Brazilian side Corinthians draw world record low crowd

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After recent crowd trouble at Brazilian side Corinthians games, the South American side were forced to play their Copa Libertadores game against Colombian team Millionarios behind closed doors. However, four fans claimed to a court that they should be allowed to attend the game because they could prove that they had nothing to do with [.

Russian criminal becomes professional footballer in prison

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When criminals are sent to prison, they are given a chance to rehabilitate themselves in order to reassimilate themselves effectively into society. However, Russian Maxim Molokoedov has gone one step further by training to become a professional footballer whilst behind bars. Molokoedov was sent to prison in Chile in 2010 for three years for drug [.

‘Noisy’ Borussia Dortmund flag gets owners in trouble

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Football fans are used to get in trouble for demonstrating their support in various ways, but this one takes the biscuit rather. A couple in Arnsberg, Germany will face a court appearance later this year after being reported by neighbours for flying a Borussia Dortmund flag in their garden. Neighbours Jutta and Walter reported the [.

Singapore footballers forced to knock on doors and ask for supporters

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With attendances in Singapore's S League falling to an average of 932 specatators per match, players are said to be getting fed up with fans preferring to stay at home and watch the English Premier League on TV. However, Balestier Khalsa chairman Thaveneson has started a fairly desperate attempt in order to raise some interest [.

Chelsea attempt to have billboard mocking Fernando Torres removed

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Chelsea have failed in their attempts to have a billboard mocking misfiring striker Fernando Torres removed. The poster is part of a series of Paddy Power adverts focusing on under-performing Premier League imports. Backed by a TV campaign, the adverts suggest the players should seek alternative employment until they start pulling their weight on the [.

Chelsea interim manager Rafa Benitez hits out at club and fans, confirms he will leave

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Rafa Benitez has finally let the water-off-a-duck's-back approach to the hostile treatment he's received since arrived at Chelsea slip as he hit out at the club and its supporters. The Blues boss also confirmed he will leave his post at the end of the season. He criticised the club's hierarchy for undermining his position by [.

GIF It: Sevilla’s Gary Medel destroys plastic chair

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Gary Medel is something of an animal. With the nickname 'The Pitbull' and his love fairly agricultural tackles in midfield, the player has built up something of a reputation in Spain. In his Sevilla side's defeat to Atletico Madrid last night, Medel lost the plot completely. He was sent off during the second half, but [.

GIF It: Joey Barton mocks Zlatan Ibrahimovic for his big nose

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Oh Joey, such a dichotomy. Part philosopher, part fighter. Part high and mighty, part low blow. Part Kafka and Nietzsche, part taking the p*ss out of someone for the size of their nose. L'enfant terrible got his point across to Sweden striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic despite any language barrier during his Marseille side's 2-0 cup defeat [.

Watch PSG vs Marseille / Beckham vs Barton… And it’s LIVE

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Yep, sit back and enjoy PSG vs Marseille right here, live and legal. Kick-off is 7.55pm and you can watch the match in full on the video player above.

GIF It: Angel Di Maria causes Carlos Puyol to do the splits (Barcelona 1-3 Real Madrid)

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There weren't too many positives for Barcelona to take from last night's Copa Del Rey defeat to Real Madrid. But one big plus was that skipper Carlos Puyol discovered that he's actually more flexible than he thought. The 34-year-old was encouraged to do the splits for Real winger Angel Di Maria and was happy to [.

GIF It: Gareth Bale’s stunning 89th minute winner (West Ham 2-3 Tottenham)

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Last night saw one of those great rarities: a Monday Night Football match that was actually pretty good. And one of those not-so-rarities: a Gareth Bale winner. The Spurs star scored an absolute beauty to give his side a 2-3 victory in a match they had been losing 2-1. And some goal it was, too. [...

Clint Hill is the victim of a character spacing disaster in the QPR programme

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OTP dares say that QPR fans have called their defenders a fair few names this season. But the abuse being levelled at Clint Hill by the club programme is a bit harsh. Somebody at Loftus Road needed to pay a bit more attention to the character spacing before sending their match programme to the printers [.

Pep Guardiola hired a detective agency to spy on his Barcelona stars

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Former Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola used a private detective agency to keep tabs on his squad, according to reports in the Spanish media. Newspaper El Confidencial claims Guardiola hired Método 3 to see what his players were up to away from the club. Among the firm's targets was Gerard Pique, who came under surveillance after [.

Chelsea’s Oscar creates ice sculpture in Samsung advert

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Chelsea's players aren't doing the business on the field, but club sponsors Samsung are making sure that they bleed them dry off the pitch with a series of adverts for the electrical giant. A couple of weeks ago we brought you news of Fernando Torres's baking efforts, and this week it is the turn of [.

Newcastle United to use slides to get fans to St James Park

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Check calendar. It's not April 1st. Re-check calendar. It's definitely not April 1st. Well then, here goes. Newcastle United have announced plans to install slides at the Metro stations near St James' Park in an effort to get fans to the ground quicker on matchdays. The steps from the Metro station near the Gallowgate end [.

Wesley Sneijder scores his first golazo for Galatasaray

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Wesley Sneijder's move to Galatasaray has been largely viewed as little more of a financial exercise, given that the midfielder was clearlly wanting a move to alternative destinations but no other offers came in. However, now he has arrived in Istanbul he may as well get on with things, and ingratiated himself rather nicely to [.

GIF It – Xerez’s Ernesto Galan with golazo own goal

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If this goal was scored by a striker in the correct end, I would put in a personal application to marry it. As it is, I'd still do all sorts of unbiblical things to it. The man in question is Xerez defender Ernesto Galan, who managed to score the 'winner' for Sabadell this weekend in [...]

Video: Oldham’s FA Cup run comes to and end against Everton

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Giantkillers Oldham's FA Cup adventure ended in a 3-1 defeat at Everton. The Latics faced an uphill battle from the moment Kevin Mirallas gave the Toffees an early lead. Former Everton player Jose Baxter almost levelled, but his curled effort hit the inside of Tim Howard's post and bounced out. Goals from Leighton Baines and [.

Video: Former Chelsea man Didier Drogba knocks out opponent, visits him in hospital

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Didier Drogba might have left behind the physicality of the Premier League, but it's now defenders in Turkey who have to contend with his brute force. A good case in point: on Monday night the Galatasaray striker hospitalised Orduspor's David Barral in an accidental clash of heads. In his efforts to get a trademark Drogba [.

Video: Chelsea boss Rafa Benitez denies training ground bust-up

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Rafa Benitez denies there is a rift between him and Chelsea's players after a reported bust-up with captain John Terry after Sunday's defeat to Manchester City. In a strange twist of events, The Sun had reported an angry row between Benitez and Terry a week earlier but later printed an apology accepting that no such [.

GIF It: Ref shows the world how to stop Lionel Messi (Barcelona 1-3 Real Madrid)

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Real Madrid outclassed Barcelona to progress to the Copa Del Rey final last night. Although, it did help that they had the referee man-marking Lionel Messi.

GIF It: Sam Allardyce brings a plane in to land (West Ham vs Tottenham)

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You've heard of semaphore. Now, witness Big Sam-aphore. West Ham's manager almost inadvertently landed a plane on the Upton Park pitch in the first-half of tonight's Premier League match against Spurs.

Video: David Beckham makes his PSG debut against Marseille

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David Beckham made his Paris St Germain debut in a cameo appearance against Marseille yesterday and he actually impressed. Having completed possibly the most photographed warm-up routine in the history of world football, the former England captain came on as a 76th minute substitute for Javier Pastore with the score at 1-0.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 23-24 February

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1. Chelsea are definitely hanging on to third rather than hunting for second. They didn't appear to be hunting for anything against Manchester City yesterday. 2. It was sad to see Robin Van Persie go the way of David Beckham: out of favour with Sir Alex Ferguson after spending too much time in front of [.

Video: Al Nasr keeper Abdallah Al Enizi tries every penalty shootout trick he can think of

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Last Friday saw the final of the Saudi Crown Prince Cup Saudi Arabia's equivalent of the the FA Cup being played between bitter rivals Al Hilal and Al Nasr. The match went to penalties, at which point Al Nasr goalkeeper Abdallah Al Enizi decided to unleash just about any form of gamesmanship that [..

GIF It: Robin Van Persie falls into a cameraman’s pit (QPR 0-2 Manchester United)

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Manchester United fans collectively held their breath (and Manchester City fans wondered if they were destined to retain the Premier League title after all) when Robin Van Persie picked up a bizarre injury during Saturday's win over QPR. In straining to cross the ball in the build-up to United's opening goal, an off-balance Van Persie [.

Top five Capital One Cup Final conclusions: Bradford City 0-5 Swansea City

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1. This was distinctly the Capital Swan Cup Final. The ginormous Wembley pitch and Swansea's passing game did for Bradford. 2. In the battle of the birds, the Swans were unsurprisingly more powerful than the Bantams. Perhaps Bradford will consider becoming the Ostriches ahead of any future Wembley exploits.

GIF It: The moment Swansea’s Ben Davies realised he was holding his penis on live television

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One minute you're in a bit of a team huddle surrounded by your mates, the next you're suddenly standing alone in front of a TV camera holding your nose and holding your penis. That's how Swansea left-back Ben Davies celebrated his side's Capital One Cup victory over Bradford. Upon realising that he was on television [.

Proof that Jack Wilshere is an Arsenal deity

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Every Arsenal will tell you that Jack Wilshere is their new God after Robin Van Persie wandered up the country. He is committed, passionate and talented, everything a fan needs in a cult hero. Yesterday, during Arsenal's 2-1 home victory over Aston Villa, Wilshere's status was confirmed. As he approached to take a corner, the [.

Papiss Cisse’s volley golazo for Newcastle v Southampton

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Papiss Cisse deals in wonder goals. The striker has been rightly criticised this season for scoring only six league goals this season as Newcastle, and his performances have not been up to scratch as his side have faltered. However, after winning the Goal of the Season award for his strike against Chelsea last season, Cisse [.

FAIL – Jackson Martinez misses with a Panenka penalty

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Whilst Jackson Martinez did eventually score both of his Porto side's goals in a 2-1 home victory over Rio Ave last night, it is just as well that the striker did so, because his penalty after half an hour was absolutely shocking. "I apologize to my team mates and the fans of FC Porto. I [...]

Former Swindon boss Paolo Di Canio breaks into his old office to tear down pictures

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Swindon Town have been forced to change their locks after ex-manager Paolo Di Canio went into the stadium in the middle of the night to remove photographs of his success with the club, the Daily Mail reports. The Italian, accompanied by at least one member of his backroom team, reportedly raided the County Ground in [.

GIF It: Liverpool striker Luis Suarez stamps on Zenit St Petersburg’s Tomas Hubocan

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Luis Suarez was instrumental in Liverpool's valiant attempts at a Europa League comeback against Zenit St Petersburg but again found the time to blot his copybook before the end of the match. The Uruguayan appeared to stamp on Tomas Hubocan's back in what looked like an entirely avoidable incident in the closing stages of [.

GIF It: Moussa Dembele’s 90th minute goal puts Tottenham through against Lyon

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Tottenham progressed in the Europa League in dramatic fashion after a late strike from Moussa Dembele. Andre Villas Boas' side were on the verge of being knocked out on away goals by Lyon. But former Fulham man Dembele fired in a brilliant 90th minute effort to make it 1-1 on the night. Spurs went through [.

ITV cut-away from Lyon vs Tottenham to show you the Newcastle team bus

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ITV's nasty habit of interrupting live football matches to show something not quite as important continued last night. In the past it's been a Tic-Tac advert and their newsreader, but last night they broke off from the closing moments of the first-half of Lyon vs Tottenham to show you... a team bus. We've seen most [.

Video: Tottenham keeper Brad Friedel silences chatty Lyon fans

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Spurs goalkeeper Brad Friedel had a rough night at the hands of Lyon supporters during last night's Europa League clash. It seems the French side's fans had taken exception to the fact that everyone's favourite near-geriatric goalie was keeping former Lyon hero Hugo Lloris out of the side. But Friedel clearly enjoyed having his say [.

It’s a huge weekend for Wenger, Warnock, Reading & Wigan and Inter Milan

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Arsene Wenger Has it ever been a bigger weekend for the Arsenal manager. After his side were abject against Blackburn last weekend, they were simply outclassed by a Bayern side in midweek. It will be eight years without a trophy, but Wenger has to get his side up for the battle for fourth place: that [.

Swansea boss Michael Laudrup to frighten his side with Bradford giant-killing DVD

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Michael Laudrup is hoping to scare his Swansea players into action for Sunday's Capital One Cup final by showing them a DVD of opponents Bradford's giant-killing exploits to date. The Swans boss wants to guard against complacency from his Premier League stars when they face the League Two Bantams at Wembley, and he thinks a [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Betting tips for the 23-24 February

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Buggery, buggery, buggery. Another week in which things get let down. Still no panic with £42 returned from the £50, and Crystal Palace highlighted the lunacy of their odds against in style, but Cheltenham's inability to force a winner and Gil Vicente's late defeat caused a great deal of hit to the bank balance.

GIF It: Tottenham manager Andre Villas Boas takes a ball to the shoulder

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Spurs boss Andre Villas Boas was going a bit crazy in the closing stages of last night's Europa League gesture, delivering frenzied tactical instruction and wildly gesturing with his arms. Somebody took the decision to calm him down a bit: disable the crazy arms.

Fenerbache fans find a novel way to interrupt Europa League match

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Fenerbache were forced to play their Europa League match against BATE Borisov behind closed doors after causing crow trouble at recent matches. However, UEFA only decreed that supporters were not allowed into the ground itself. Thousands of fans therefore gathered outside the ground. In addition to simply celebrating Fener's aggregate victory, the pesky group still [.

Fabrice Muamba to present Capital One Cup trophy

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Football's authorities don't always get things right these days, but whether it was the decision of the FA or Capital One, someone needs to be congratulated for this one. The Capital One Cup will be presented to the captain of either Bradford City or Swansea City tomorrow, and the trophy will be presented by Fabrice [.

Scott Carson’s latest FAIL for Bursaspor

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We're all for English players moving abroad, because it shows a degree of balls that very few exhibit. However, Scott Carson isn't exactly doing his bit for spreading the word of English goalkeeping, with numerous blunders whilst at Bursaspor. In his latest gaffe, Carson ran off his line against Gaziantepspor in order to clear the [.

GIF It: Rafael scores with a sweet first-time effort (QPR vs Manchester United)

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You'd struggle to hit a ball much more cleanly than that. Manchester United right-back Rafael gave them the lead against QPR in today's top vs bottom clash with this superb strike.

Robin Van Persie gets intimate with a cameraman (QPR vs Manchester United)

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Robin Van Persie was subbed off with an injury in the first-half of Manchester United's match against QPR this afternoon. The Dutchman had been struggled since tumbling into a cameraman's pit during the build-up to Rafael's goal. None of the footage we've seen so far captures Van Persie's fall, although one replay of the goal [.

Video: Mario Balotelli and Robinho quite enjoy AC Milan’s win over Barcelona

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AC Milan striker Mario Balotelli barely cracked a smile during his time at Manchester City. But he made up for that last night as he watched his new team-mates record a surprise 2-0 win over Barcelona. Balotelli and Robinho were having a ball, especially when Milan scored their second goal. The sidelined players and their [.

Manchester City’s players attempt the Harlem Shake

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The internet's latest dance craze is something called the Harlem Shake. Those social media savvy so-and-so's at Manchester City couldn't risk missing out on a piece of the action. So, they inevitably produced their own version. Pablo Zabaleta, Micah Richards, Joleon Lescott, James Milner, Edin Dzeko, Scott Sinclair and Aleksandar Kolarov were the players fortunate [.

Video: Portsmouth Old Boys 2-0 Barcelona

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Portsmouth fans scarcely needed a reminder of their fall from grace this week, what with their club hitting the headlines for charging their opponents to park the team bus. But just to really rub it in, two of their former players were on the scoresheet at AC Milan defeated Barcelona 2-0 at the San Siro [.

Video: Jamie Redknapp wrestles with Stephan El Shaarawy’s name after AC Milan vs Barcelona

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Meet AC Milan's new star: El Jaharwee. Ruud Gullit was reduced to fits of laughter as his fellow Sky Sports pundit Jamie Redknapp attempted to pronounce Stephan El Shaarawy's name. As Redknapp casually slipped "El Jaharwee" into his analysis, Gullit decided he wasn't going to let it go. The Dutchman jumped in with an immediate: [.

Pardew: Newcastle away performances will improve, starting with Metalist

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Newcastle's away performances will improve between now and the end of the season, according to manager Alan Pardew. He reckons that that his new signings, coupled with key players returning from injury, will lead to an upsurge in the Toon's fortunes. And he expects that to start this evening for the Europa League clash against [.

Tottenham fans attacked in Lyon by masked gang

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After Spurs fans were attacked during their trip to Rome three months ago, they probably deserved a break on their trip to Lyon for the second leg of their Europa League last-32 tie. However, three fans have been hospitalised after ugly scenes when 150 Spurs supporters were attacked whilst having a drink in one of [.

Arsenal loanee Andre Santos scores in his second game for Gremio

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With Arsenal's current slump causing news reports to mention the amount of success former players have had since leaving the club, supporters won't be too pleased to learn that Andre Santos has already started scoring after moving to Brazil on loan. It was the full-back's second game for Gremio, and in the Copa Libertadores against [.

Dalai Lama sends Bradford City a League Cup good luck letter

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The Dalai Lama has sent a good luck letter to Bradford City ahead of their League Cup final fixture against Swansea City on Sunday. His holiness has been a fan of the club after visiting Yorkshire last summer. A supporters club Friends of Bradford City made him their honorary President and the Dalai Lama is [.

Top five conclusions: Arsenal 1-3 Bayern Munich

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1. It looks distinctly like Arsenal's last hope of a trophy this season has just slipped away like a Bayern Munich player escaping from an Arsenal defender at a set-piece. 2. Arsenal had to resort to kicking another team off the park as they can't cope with their pace, passing & movement. Presumably even Arsene [.

Diego Maradona ponders how his son, Lionel Messi’s son and Sergio Aguero’s son will play together for Argentina

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In England, we've spent the last decade wondering whether Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard can play together for the national team. Perhaps the real problem was a lack of forward planning. Take Argentina, for instance, where Diego Maradona is already sparking tactical debate about how his newborn son, Diego Fernando, might fit into a national [.

Manchester City chief executive Ferran Soriano implicated in Barcelona spying row

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Manchester City chief executive Ferran Soriano has been accused of approving payments for spying on internal club emails during his time at Barcelona. Soriano, Barca's financial vice-president during Joan Laporta's time as president, is being investigated for criminal liability by prosecutors in Catalonia over his involvement in an alleged scheme to monitor staff emails.

Video: Marseille’s Joey Barton doubts David Beckham will make an impact at PSG

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Adopted Frenchman Joey Barton doubts whether former England skipper David Beckham can have the same earth-shattering impact that he has had on Ligue 1. The Marseille midfielder said that if Beckham did manage to play against his side for PSG he would probably not be the "main concern" for their defence.

Arsenal’s advertising hoardings kick them while they’re down

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Talk about sticking the boot in. You're on the receiving end of a pasting at the hands of Bayern Munich and your own stadium's advertising hoardings do this.

Video: Crystal Palace cheerleaders do the Harlem Shake

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I'm pretty sure I had a dream exactly like this the other night. With the eventual end of Gangnam Style tribute videos from all and sundry, the latest dance craze to hit our screens is known as the Harlem Shake. Never ones to miss out on the opportunity to produce a viral sensation, Crystal Palace's [.

Manchester United defender Phil Jones’ bending ankle against Reading

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It initially looked like Jones had gone down to feign injury after catching his opposite number early on during Manchester United's 2-1 FA Cup win over Reading, but it soon appeared that the young defender was in a great deal of trouble. The slow motion replays proved this, and were a little sickening.

Fluminense striker Fred pulls a girl on a busy motorway

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Whilst Fluminense striker Fred has managed to forced himself into the Brazilian national team with his goals this season, it would be fair to say that no amount of goalscoring on the field could be as impressive as his influence with the ladies. Known for his rather liberal attitude to relationships, the forward shows of [.

Bayern Munich’s Manuel Neuer shows off his four-fingered glove

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Bayern Munich have pretty much everything going in their favour at the moment. They are fifteen points clear of Borussia Dortmund in second place in the Bundesliga, have a goal difference of +50, have conceded one league goal away from home all season and face an Arsenal side tonight that are still stinging from an [.

Video: Noel Hunt takes a break on his way off the pitch (Manchester United 2-1 Reading)

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OTP presumes that Reading striker Noel Hunt was receiving conflicting messages about whether to make his way to the touchline or stay on the pitch to receive treatment for his head injury during last night's FA Cup defeat to Manchester United. Or perhaps the blow to the head had made the Irishman a bit confused.

Huddersfield Town’s odd half-time entertainment against Wigan

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There's nothing quite as queer as folk, and this is the weirdest half-time entertainment I've ever seen. Huddersfield Town exhibit themselves as a small-time club by holding a weird competition at half-time in their 4-1 FA Cup defeat to Wigan. Essentially, a fat man spins around a broom to get dizzy before taking a penalty [.

GIF It: Synchronise watches to Fergie time (Manchester United 2-1 Reading)

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After all these years of spending the closing stages of matches berating officials about the lack of/excess amount of injury time, Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has finally found an easier way of ensuring the final whistle blows when you want it to. During last night's FA Cup fifth round victory over Reading, Fergie [.

Video: Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger’s press conference meltdown

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Arsene Wenger followed Saturday's FA Cup defeat to Blackburn with one of the grumpiest press conferences of his 16-year tenure at Arsenal. The Gunners boss was visibly angry during the pre-match press conference ahead of tonight's Champions League clash with Bayern Munich. He took exception to just about any line of questioning the assembled journalists [.

Top 10 conclusions: FA Cup weekend, 16-17 February

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1. Blackburn have finally found a Kean capable of competing against Premier League opposition. 2. Oldham striker Matt Smith either loves the FA Cup or hates Merseyside. It's hard to tell at this stage. 3. Smith and his Latics team-mates can be grateful that goalkeeper Dean Bouzanis failed with his attempt at a blatant handball [.

Video: Alan Dunne tries to feed Millwall goalscorer James Henry to a police dog

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James Henry set Millwall on their way to an FA Cup fifth round victory over Luton Town by opening the scoring on Saturday. Team-mate Alan Dunne showed his appreciation for Henry's efforts by attempting to feed him to a police dog after the match. As the players milled around the pitch following the final whistle, [.

GIF It: Phillippe Coutinho scores his first Liverpool goal (Liverpool 5-0 Swansea)

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Liverpool's new signing Phillippe Coutinho scored his first goal for the club on his first start. The former Inter Milan youngster found the net during yesterday's 5-0 win over Swansea at Anfield, the only Premier League fixture of the weekend. He scored just seconds into the second-half to put the Reds 2-0 up.

Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini says the title race is not over

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Roberto Mancini says Manchester City are still in with a chance of retaining their Premier League title if Sergio Aguero plays like he did against Leeds United in yesterday's FA Cup clash. The Italian gave a downbeat interview following last weekend's defeat to Southampton in which he all but conceded the title to rivals [.

Oldham FA Cup hero Matt Smith to be fined for throwing his shirt into the crowd after Everton draw

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Matt Smith's reward for grabbing a last-gasp equaliser for Oldham against Everton will be a fine. The substitute ignored a signed order from caretaker manager Tony Philliskirk that all Latics players must keep hold of the shirts after the match. The note above was placed in the Boundary Park tunnel ahead of the FA Cup [.

Portsmouth charge Carlisle £20 to park their team bus

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Ever since Premier League sides stopped rolling over for Jose Mourinho's Chelsea team, parking the bus had been considered to be disappointing tactics for a team to employ but it doesn't usually invoke a financial penalty. That's all changed now after Portsmouth charged opponents Carlisle £20 to park their coach during Saturday's 1-1 draw [.

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich’s yacht docks in Manhattan

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When you are travelling around the world in this, it does rather mock the idea that you have a manager at the club that no-one really wants. This monster is labelled as a yacht, but looks like more of a ferry to us. It cost $1.5billion, which seems a reasonable amount for a mode of [...]

El Salvador’s Rudy Valencia pays $1,200 dollar fine in coins

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El Salvador midfielder Rudy Valencia was not impressed at being handed a $1,200 for leaving the national team's without permission recently. He got some sort of revenge this week when he arrived at the FA headquarters to pay his fine in small coins. The full amount was paid in 1, 5, 10, and 25 cent [.

FAIL: Even ITV are having a pop at Chelsea manager Rafa Benitez

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Poor poor Rafa. If it wasn't enough that Chelsea fans are still singing the name of his predecessor and booing him three months into his tenure, now TV broadcasters are having a dig. ITV showed Chelsea's fourth round replay against Brentford on Sunday lunchtime, and felt the need to label Chelsea's interim manager as 'BenTITez'.

Oldham players warned not to give their shirts away after Everton match

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Any hopes Oldham players had of bagging an Everton star's shirt following this evening's FA Cup match have been thwarted after they were banned from giving their shirts away. A poster in the tunnel signed by caretaker manager Tony Philliskirk warned of a shortage of first-team kit at the Latics.

Bury release striker after just one day at the club

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It isn't often that a footballer actually loses money out of a spell at a club, but this is no normal transfer. Jeanvion Yulu-Matondo was signed by Bury this week, which could be seen as quite a coup for the League One club given that he had been playing for Club Brugge, Roda JC, Levski [...]

Didier Drogba enjoys dream Galatasaray debut

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Didier Drogba is a man that generates headlines, and he took five minutes to do so upon his arrival at Galatasaray. The striker was brought on during the second half with the score at 0-0, Drogba took just five minutes to score a great header. Then, after Akhisar had equalised, Drogba took it upon him [.

Original Ronaldo’s new ripped body

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I'm not too sure I'm ok with this. Ronaldo is my favourite player from my lifetime but this was, in part, due to the fact that he clearly got on it off the field, with carnivals, drinking and clearly eating what the hell he liked. For someone to do that and then get a standing [...]

Former Leeds Untied player Robbie Rogers comes out and retires

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Huge respect this weekend should go to American international footballer Robbie Rogers. The former Leeds United and Stevenage player yesterday used his blog to reveal that he was gay and would be stepping away from the game: "For the past 25 years I have been afraid to show who I really was because of fear.

GIF It: Samuel Umtiti hits the sweetest half-volley you will see (Tottenham 2-1 Lyon)

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Tottenham secured a 2-1 win over Lyon at White Hart Lane last night, but the French side's away goal was pretty special. The ball dropped out of the air in the direction of left-back Samuel Umtiti. Despite an awkward looking bounce, Umtiti made the perfect connection and the ball flew straight into the top corner [.

GIF It: Gareth Bale’s incredible 40-yard free-kick (Tottenham 2-1 Lyon)

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This will do nothing to quell those Gareth Bale to Real Madrid rumours. A day after Cristiano Ronaldo went close against Manchester United with a 40-yard free-kick, Bale went one better to show him how it's done. The Welshman opened the scoring in last night's 2-1 victory over Lyon in the Europa League.

GIF It: Tottenham manager Andre Villas Boas argue with some advertising hoardings

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After his side's lethargic start to their match against Lyon, Tottenham manager Andre Villas Boas needed to vent some frustration. The target for his anger was an advertising hoarding that he felt was blocking his route back to his dugout. He gestured towards the hoarding and then somebody he obviously felt was responsible for the [.

It’s a huge weekend for… Luton’s police, Rodgers, Mancini and Balotelli

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Luton's police force It is one of those fixtures that younger fans may not realise holds such fear in the eyes of football authorities and the police, simply due to the financial decline of Luton in recent years. However, many will be aware of the hatred that surrounds Luton v Millwall, two of the game's [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Betting tips for the 16-17 February

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Slightly disappointing time of it a fortnight ago. We got back nearly 90 per cent of our original stakes on Ghana beating Cape Verde, but Doncaster never looked like troubling Bury at a shade over 6/4, and Tranmere's first half red card put nicely paid to the HT/FT bet. Cheers for that. Nonetheless, we carry [.

Barcelona footballer Damien Diaz kisses his mum after scoring (and it gets weird)

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Now we are all for motherly love at OTP, but this just gets a touch awkward. Damien Diaz was understandably delighted after scoring a cracking goal for Barcelona against Nacional in the Copa Libertadores on Tuesday night, hitting the ball 25 yards out and sending it dipping into the top corner. He ventured over to [.

Manchester City’s Roberto Mancini, Vincent Kompany, Joe Hart and James Milner do voiceovers for tram company

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Passengers travelling to Manchester City games on Metrolink's east Manchester tram line will now be treated to service announcements from their heroes. Manager Roberto Mancini, skipper Vincent Kompany and England internationals Joe Hart and James Milner have all lent their voices to the tram company.

FAIL – Daily Mirror claim Cristiano Ronaldo won’t score against Manchester United

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We know how the tabloids work. Write something (the more outrageous the better), and then if it is proved to be brilliant right or awfully wrong then perfect, because either generate hits, and hits are gold. But we still don't feel too bad for noting the Daily Mirror's ridiculous piece on Ronaldo by Derek McGovern, [.

Kitman – New Manchester City home shirt leaked

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Manchester City are changing their kit manufacturer as Umbro is enveloped by Nike after signing a six-year deal with the giant. And it seems that their new brand are not looking to change too much to City's current design. The white trim on collars and cuffs are a tweak, whilst the climalite air pockets also [.

Kitman – Arsenal’s new away kit for 2013/14

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Whether or not this is a fake remains to be seen (there is a slightly polo shirt look to it and the badge looks a touch cheap), but it seems that this may be a leaked version of Arsenal's new away shirt for next season. 2013/14 is the last season that Arsenal have with current [...]

Video: David Beckham trains with PSG

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David Beckham has taken part in his first training session since joining Paris St Germain. The former England skipper was a spectator for his new team's Champions League tie with Valencia. He's now hoping to play a part in PSG's match against Sochaux this weekend.

Manchester United fans use Real Madrid match to promote Class A drugs

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Following the final whistle in tonight's Champions League match between Real Madrid and Manchester United, the TV cameras showed this banner. It reads: "MANCHESTER MUFC MDMA BOTH MAGIC." Presumably a reference to the city's ecstasy culture of the early 1990s or perhaps the owner of the banner's personal love of both the [.

GIF It: Sergio Ramos nearly forgets to swap pennants with Patrice Evra (Real Madrid 1-1 Manchester United)

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Real Madrid captain Sergio Ramos became so attached to his pennant before tonight's clash with Manchester United that he nearly forgot he wasn't supposed to keep it. Having shaken hands with the ref's entourage and United skipper Patrice Evra, the Spain international took up his position to pose for a photo.

Newcastle midfielder Cheick Tiote has car seized after fraud arrest

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Cheick Tiote has been arrested on suspicion of fraud and had his car seized. The 26-year-old Newcastle star was arrested near the club's training ground after being stopped by police on suspicion of fraud relating to driving offences. The £75,000 Chevrolet Camaro he was driving has been seized by Northumbria Police.

Video: Mario Balotelli has his first training ground scrap at AC Milan

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Training session bust-ups were a key component of Mario Balotelli's time at Manchester City. But he hasn't blotted his AC Milan copybook just yet. His training ground wrestling match with French youngster M'Baye Niang was all in good humour. Balotelli formed a formidable tag-team with Kevin Constant before launching a surprise attack on Niang.

Arsenal striker Lukas Podolski goes on black cab tour of London

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With Arsenal not playing this midweek, Lukas Podolski decided he'd been in London for a while now and really ought to see some of the sites. The Germany international hopped into a black cab and got the driver to take him to some of the capital's main tourist sites. At each stop, Podolski jumped out [.

Real Madrid’s on-loan Chelsea midfielder still creepily referring to Jose Mourinho as ‘dad’

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Michael Essien is still insisting on publicly referring to Jose Mourinho as his dad. The Chelsea midfielder, on-loan at Mourinho's Real Madrid, spoke out to explain why he sees the Special One as a father figure last September. And he's still doing it. Ahead of tonight's Champions League match against Manchester United, Essien told AS.

Top five conclusions: Real Madrid 1-1 Manchester United

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1. Jose Mourinho vs Sir Alex Ferguson? It might as well have been Tony Pulis vs Joe Kinnear. Set-pieces and crosses were what this was all about. 2. Cristiano Ronaldo laughs in the face of gravity. He hung in the air to head in his goal. 3. David De Gea made one of the best [...]

Chelsea’s Frank Lampard signs new deal at last… but only to become a children’s author

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Chelsea fans have been desperately hoping Frank Lampard would be putting pen to paper soon... but not to become an author of children's books. The veteran midfielder has agreed a five-book deal with publisher Little Brown. The series, called Frankie's Magic Football, will be aimed at children aged five and above.

Video: Liverpool legend Robbie Fowler kicks comedian John Bishop in the face

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Fans who sat through a drab opening 45 minutes in last night's Premier League match between Liverpool and West Brom were at least treated to some entertainment at half-time. As part of a one-off shirt sponsorship with Seeing Is Believing, a charity that aims to tackle avoidable likeness, there was a blindfolded penalty shootout during [.

Wayne Rooney warns new Manchester United team-mate Wilfried Zaha that he’ll have to pay for MUTV

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"@_ryancook: Wonder if @waynerooney pays 6 quid a month for MUTV?!" Yeah i do Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) February 11, 2013 @wilfriedzaha u will have to aswell mate haha. Wayne Rooney (@WayneRooney) February 11, 2013 "@waynerooney: @wilfriedzaha u will have to aswell mate haha."thought we'd get that free to be honest lol Wilfried [.

Video: Gary Neville revels in grassing up brother Phil to Everton manager David Moyes after Manchester United defeat

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Sky Sports pundit Gary Neville had one of his most enjoyable Monday Night Football performances so far as he got to critique his brother's positioning with Everton manager David Moyes last night. Rejoicing in the opportunity to tell Phil's manager exactly where his younger sibling was going wrong, the elder Neville said: "I've waited 37 [.

Video: Alessandro Matri scores in his socks (Juventus 2-0 Fiorentina)

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Juventus' Alessandro Matri scored a very unusual goal against Fiorentina at the weekend finding the net without the aid of a boot. Matri's footwear flew off just as he prepared to take a shot in the Serie A clash. Unperturbed, he turned the ball in with his sock before collecting his boot and throwing [.

Mansfield Town owner gives manager Paul Cox an Aston Martin

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Mansfield Town fans would have been rather pleased with their side's 8-1 home win over Barrow, but one suspects that manager Paul Cox was the happiest man at the club after owner John Radford gave him an £85,000 Aston Martin. After Mansfield beat the same side 7-0 last season, the owner told Cox that if [.

Bebe scores golazo for Rio Ave

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It would be one of THE greatest sporting comebacks. Bebe's £7.8million move to Manchester United will go down as one of the worst Premier League signings, but at last the former Portuguese homeless footballer has finally found the goals. He has been loaned to Rio Ave, where he has scored two goals in a month.

Chelsea’s Fernando Torres shows off his baking skills

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Fernando Torres might be struggling for goals at the moment, but that isn't his only skill. He has been recruited by Samsung to star in their Thai television commercial. He begins by displaying some footballing tricks and skills, before returning to slightly more delicate matters, namely making some cupcakes.

Spanish newspaper Marca calls Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney “a freckled demon” and a “hooligan”

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Spanish sports paper Marca has branded Wayne Rooney a "hooligan" ahead of tomorrow night's Champions League clash between Manchester United and Real Madrid. The front page is dedicated to the man they dub "a freckled demon" and exclaims: ""The Bad Boy — and his 5,000 ‘friends'". On the inside pages, journalist Hugo Cerezo continues the [.

GIF It: Wayne Rooney slaps Phil Neville in the balls (Manchester United 2-0 Everton)

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Wayne Rooney and Phil Neville got a bit touchy-feely during yesterday's match between Manchester United and Everton. The United striker celebrated playing against his former club by giving Neville a tap to the genitals. The Toffees skipper, also playing against his old club, responded almost simultaneously by touching Rooney's backside.

Video: Nigeria keeper Vincent Enyeama tries to celebrate African Cup of Nations win by picking up the ref

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Winning a major international tournament should always be a cause of celebration. But Nigeria goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama did his best to get himself in trouble in the aftermath of his side's African Cup of Nations win by trying to pick up the referee. Perhaps he was struggling to contain his excitement at the prospect of [.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 9-10 February

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1. Last season, a beautifully placed finish from Sergio Aguero won the title for Manchester City. It looks like a similarly well-placed finish from Gareth Barry has lost them the title this season. 2. Ryan Giggs is a machine. The man is 40 this year and he's still capable of winning Premier League matches.

GIF It: Jason Puncheon’s bum-wiping celebration (Southampton 3-1 Manchester City)

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Southampton's Jason Puncheon showed he can take a joke after his recent mid-match toilet break. The Saints star's extended convenience break against Everton caused much hilarity and a few spin-off chants. But Puncheon answered back with a toilet-inspired goal celebration during the victory over Manchester City on Saturday.

GIF It: Phil Neville unleashes the world’s worst throw-in (Manchester United 2-0 Everton)

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Everton skipper Phil Neville showed Manchester United fans just what they had been missing as he returned to his former club. Neville delivered possibly the worst throw-in ever to grace a Premier League match during yesterday's 2-0 defeat.

GIF it: Gareth Barry’s woeful own goal for Manchester City against Southampton

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If you are going to allow your title bid to unravel in February, might as well do it in style. After Joe Hart's blunder gave Southampton a 2-0 lead, Gareth Barry decided to take matters into his own hands after Edin Dzeko had tried to get Manchester City back into the game. The ball was [...]

Lionel Messi gets himself in Spanish dictionary

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There are several judges of whether a player can be considered one of the greats. Awards, statues, titles and accolades are some, but has any other player made it into the dictionary? A Spanish dictionary has updated his version to include the word 'Inmessionante', which we are told has two meanings: 1.

Talksport get tricked by fake Taribo West interview

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It isn't quite up there with Ali Dia's substitute appearance for Southampton back in the day, but radio station Talksport were duped impressively on Friday night by a fake Twitter account for the former Nigeria, Derby and West Ham defender Taribo West. West was something of a cult hero with his green and white hair [.

Boca Juniors’ Guillermo Burdisso scores golazo volley from a corner

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One thing about playing your home football at La Bombanera is that you can guarantee that the crowd will go completely mental if you score a wonder goal. When that goal is the winner, the home team has ten men and they have come from 2-0 down to win the first game of the season, [...]

Beitar Jerusalem’s club house burnt down in ‘muslim protest’

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The club house of Israeli Premier League club has been burnt down by arsonists in a crime that police believe that relates to the club signing players of muslim origin. The side recently signed Zaur Sadayev and Gabriel Kadiev, who are the first muslim signed in their history. The club is know for its right-wing [.

Turkey and Czech Republic in strange pre-match swap

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The swapping of pennants is, for me, a glorious hark back to the old school, and should be preserved in modern times. However, Turkey and Czech Republic took things one step further with their pre-match routine on Wednesday, as the picture above shows. They swapped huge rugs (or maybe magic carpets), which just seems crazily [.

Owen Coyle’s face used to create gangster in computer game

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Owen Coyle may have been out of work for a while since being relieved from his duties by Bolton Wanderers, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been getting his face out there. Literally. And in a rather bizarre turn-up, Coyle has appeared on a computer game as a gangster, namely Emmet 'Doc' O'Connell in Omerta: [.

Ipswich Town’s Michael Chopra quits Twitter in style

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Michael Chopra doesn't do things by halves. Some people just go to a racecourse to have a little flutter on the nags, whilst Chopra went into a spiral of debt of £2million and had to borrow £250,000 from Ipswich. Just last month, Chopra stated: I have extensive debts and loans and simply cannot afford the [.

Video: The FA’s new Football Mash Up viral (featuring a few painful looking headshots)

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Anyone else spot the pitchside hoardings imploring you to "Search Facebook for 'Football Mash Up'" during England vs Brazil? Well, this is what it was all about. The FA and Vauxhall have launched a new viral campaign aimed at stopping 14-17 year-olds dropping out of football. The idea is that you can fit football around [.

Chelsea’s Frank Lampard favours Manchester United transfer

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Frank Lampard's preference is to make a summer move to Manchester United when his Chelsea contract expires, according to the Daily Star. The reports follow suggestions that Chelsea had yesterdat performed a U-turn on their decision to move Lampard on and offered the England midfielder a new deal. That talk of a new deal is [.

Bacardi, cocaine and short skirts: Why Andy Van Der Meyde begged Royston Drenthe not to join Everton

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Former Everton flop Andy Van Der Meyde begged fellow Dutchman Royston Drenthe not to join the club, it has been revealed. Van Der Meyde warned his compatriot not to move to the Toffees because there were too many damaging temptations on offer on Merseyside. According to Dutch news site HP De Tijd, Van Der Meyde [.

Video: Lionel Messi signs his new Barcelona contract

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Lionel Messi has put pen-to-paper on a deal that will keep him at Barcelona until June 2018. It was well known that the new contract was in the pipeline, but the Argentine star officially signed the paperwork in front of the cameras yesterday afternoon. He told Barca's website: "I said it before in Europe [.

Top 10 conclusions: England 2-1 Brazil

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1. Jack Wilshere, it's good to have you back. He showed drive, commitment and technical ability so often missing in England performances. 2. On the flip side, you do find yourself constantly thinking he's about to get injured. We don't know how you cope on a weekly basis, Arsenal fans. 3. Not gutting much joy [.

GIF It: Ref Pedro Proenca’s effeminate rejection of England’s penalty protests

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We're not sure if referee Pedro Proenca dismissed England's protests against the award of a penalty in last night's clash with Brazil in the style of an American teen drama ("no way, girlfriend") or through the medium of the Birdie Song.

Video: Sweden keeper Andreas Isaksson’s overhead kick save from Argentina’s Lionel Messi

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Normally goalkeepers are hapless bystanders as Lionel Messi shows off his range of skills against them. But in last night's match between Sweden and Argentina, Andreas Isaksson was able to unleash an overhead kick to thwart the Barcelona magician. Via 101GG

GIF It: Everton’s Phil Jagielka leaves Tottenham’s Kyle Walker with a lingering thought

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Just what does Phil Jagielka tell fellow England substitute Kyle Walker that causes the Tottenham defender to get lost in thought. A few possibilities: 1. "Have you heard that Goran Popov has been diagnosed with TB?" 2. "I reckon Glen Johnson could comfortably play at international level for another six or seven years.

Video: Mario Balotelli mocked by a pair of astronauts (Netherlands vs Italy)

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Italy striker Mario Balotelli often has to face a lot of abuse during matches, but it is probably safe to say this is the first time that he's been mocked by two astronauts. The AC Milan man was goaded by two fans dressed in full space suits after kicking the ball at the advertising hoardings [...]

GIF It: Honduras beat USA with a golazo overhead kick

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Whilst you were sleeping last night, the USA and Mexico (the two favourites to lead the CONCACAF qualification group for the World Cup) got their campaigns off to fairly dreadful beginnings. Whilst Mexico were held at home by lowly Jamaica, the American's lost in Honduras to sit bottom of the group after one round of [.

Crazy Japanese football queuing system

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The Japanese typically find ingenious and technological ways to improve life, and it now appears that football is not safe from their innovations. However, I wouldn't say that this a particularly technical way of avoiding the inevitable queue at the ticket office to get a ticket for a big game. Essentially, to avoid this Japanese [.

Lionel Messi gets a kiss and head rub from a pitch invader

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There is no bigger compliment to the skill of Lionel Messi then the fact that supporters are prepared to get arrested and receive criminal records just to get close to their hero. Last night Argentina beat Sweden 3-2 in a brillaint match, but the Swedes were able to stop Messi scoring. Still, the highlight for [.

Muangthong United’s headed free kick perfected by Kuwaiti football team

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Remember the Muangthong United's headed free kick routine? Well the problem with that was whilst it was awarded 10/10 for innovation, marks were lost for execution because the eventual shot hit the wall. It has now been perfected by Kuwaiti futsal team Al Fahaheel. Ayedh Al Ajmi ran up to the ball, fell down and [.

It’s a huge weekend for… Benitez, Manchester City, QPR and Nottingham Forest

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Rafa Benitez Is there a dead man walking in West London? After last weekend's defeat to Newcastle Chelsea's manager went odds on to be the next Premier League manager sacked, as rumours became abound that Jose Mourinho was being sounded out for a return to Stamford Bridge. Whilst much of the circus surrounding Benitez's employment [.

PR Fail – Nottingham Forest’s car park has an appropriate sign

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Nottingham Forest are a club attempting to usurp Blackburn as the country's national football club joke. They are now looking for their seventh manager since 2011 and fourth since last summer after Alex McLeish walked out after 41 days at the club. With that in mind, the sign hanging in their car park looks extremely [.

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney conducts the world’s most boring interview with Everton’s Leon Osman and Leighton Baines

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Wayne Rooney took the train journey down to London for tonight's friendly with Brazil as the perfect opportunity to hone his broadcasting skills. His England team-mates Leon Osman and Leighton Baines were the new Paxman's first victims. The interview starts very much like a Garth Crooks interview. But once Wazza's into the swing of things [.

Video: Liverpool target Tom Ince scores twice as England U21s beat Sweden

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Blackpool youngster Tom Ince was the star of the show as England under 21s beat Sweden 4-0 in a friendly at the Banks's Stadium in Walsall. The Liverpool transfer target slid in to score the opening goal. Jonjo Shelvey added a second to make up for an earlier miss (we're going to give that its [...]

Liverpool midfielder Jonjo Shelvey’s outrageous miss (England U21 4-0 Sweden U21)

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England under 21 midfielder Jonjo Shelvey provided the comedy highlight of last night's 4-0 win against Sweden with this unfortunate miss. The Liverpool star was practically standing on the goal-line when he was handed the simple task of nodding home a Tom Ince cross. Alas, he somehow managed to put his header wide when it [.

Video: Coventry defender Cyrus Christie booked for trying to trip a pitch invader

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Coventry full-back Cyrus Christie picked up a bizarre yellow card after he attempted to trip up a pitch invader. The 20-year-old attempted to thwart a topless fan, who ran onto the pitch during last night's Johnstone's Paint Trophy northern final first-leg against Crewe. As if a 0-3 home defeat didn't make Christie's night miserable enough, [.

Silvio Berlusconi’s brother calls Mario Balotelli a “little n****r”

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AC Milan new boy Mario Balotelli has already found himself the victim of a nasty racial slur from the brother of the club president. Paolo Berlusconi, brother of former Italian prime minister Silvio, called the former Manchester City striker "the family's little n****r" during a political rally for Silvio's People of Freedom party.

GIF It: Ex-Liverpool and Manchester United midfielder Paul Ince’s wild celebrations as son Tom scores for England U21s

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From what we've heard in interviews with both father and son, we reckon Paul Ince believes Tom can go to the very top and will be miserly with his praise until he's got a Champions League medal or two in the bag. That would tally with his deadpan response to Tom opening the scoring in [...]

Classic Video – John Barnes scores against Brazil

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With his dreadful punditry and less than impressive managerial record, it often gets forgotten that John Barnes was hell of a player. And with England facing Brazil tonight it is only right that we showcase possibly England's greatest goal. It came in a 2-0 win in the Maracana, only our second victory against the Samba [.

Eric Cantona stars as a farmer in a beer advert

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Eric Cantona is now firmly established as an actor, but it seems he still happy to pick up the easy money by doing lucrative adverts. The former Manchester United striker to show off the beer Kronenbourg. He introduces us to Alsace, a town where the beer is produced and those that make the drink are [.

GIF It: Wycombe’s on-loan Tottenham keeper Jordan Archer attacked by Gillingham fan

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Wycombe goalkeeper Jordan Archer was barged to the ground by a Gillingham supporter during last night's televised League Two match. As he bent over to place the ball for a goal-kick, a Gills supporter charged and jumped at Archer during the closing moments. The Tottenham youngster, on loan at the Chairboys, was uninjured and able [.

Italy coach Cesare Prandelli vows to honour Balotelli and El Shaarawy with a mohican if they win the World Cup

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Italy manager Cesare Prandelli says he will get a mohican haircut if his side win the 2014 World Cup. The Azzurri boss is obviously pleased with the initial signs after Mario Balotelli left Manchester City to team-up with potential international strike partner and fellow mohawk devotee Stephan El Shaarawy at AC Milan.

Nigerian prostitutes offer ‘a week of free sex’ if national team wins African Cup of Nations

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Nigeria's Africa Cup of Nations squad will be offered a week of free sex if they bring the trophy home. An organisation representing the country's sex workers says Chelsea star Victor Moses and his team-mates will be entitled to freebies for a week providing they win the tournament. Jessica Elvis, national secretary of the [.

Video: Liverpool 1-0 Debrecen reported to be the ‘fixed’ Champions League game

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Liverpool's win over Debrecen in 2009 is the allegedly fixed Champions League game played in England, a Danish newspaper is reporting. Ekstra Bladet claims that the 1-0 victory at Anfield is the unnamed match referred to following a Europol investigation into match fixing across Europe. The newspaper says Debrecen goalkeeper Vukasin Poleksic was bribed to [.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 2-3 February

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1. Sergio Aguero has a protractor once... but he snapped it in half and threw it away in disgust. 2. Move over, Michu. Moussa Sissoko is making a late charge for bargain buy of the season. 3. West Brom players were under the impression that a new sin-binning punishment had been brought in for spitting [.

Video: Newcastle’s Danny Simpson unconscious on the floor after brawl

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The shocking video above shows Newcastle right-back Danny Simpson bleeding and unconscious after a street brawl. The ex-Manchester United defender was flat-out on the ground and was reportedly out cold for around 15 minutes. The Sun reports: The brawl kicked off early yesterday after Simpson, 26, got into a scuffle with a fellow customer queueing [.

GIF It: The floodlights go out at Fulham vs Manchester United

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Beat that, Superbowl. Advertisers at Craven Cottage got some extra bang for their buck during Saturday's match between Fulham and Manchester United. The floodlights failed plunging the stadium into darkness. Those plucky digital hoardings kept working hard, though.

GIF It: Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson slaps and pushes Anderson

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Proof, if proof were needed, that Sir Alex Ferguson still rules with an iron first at Manchester United. The 71-year-old gave midfielder Anderson a post-match slap and shove following Saturday's away win at Fulham. Theories include a suggestion that the Brazilian was mocking Fergie's trademark post-match clap.

Ex-Blackburn and Chelsea full-back Graeme Le Saux recreates his England vs Brazil goal

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Remember the heady days of the Umbro Cup? Sorry to ruin your Monday morning but that was 18 years ago. To celebrate England's friendly with Brazil this week, Graeme Le Saux has recreated his stunning goal against Brazil at Wembley. It's also worth watching for proof that you could get away with some robust tackling [.

The managerial merry-go-round steps up a gear in January

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The managerial merry-go-round has gone in to overdrive recently with no fewer than 11 managers across all four English divisions leaving their positions in the past five weeks. Nine of those were sacked whilst two resigned to fill vacancies elsewhere, making it a total of 13 clubs who have been searching for a new manager [.

Video: Mario Balotelli’s two debut goals and highlights (AC Milan 2-1 Udinese)

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Mario Balotelli made quite an impact on his debut for AC Milan, scoring both goals in a 2-1 victory over Udinese. The former Manchester City striker put in an impressive performance, which is captured in the individual highlights reel above.

Video: Stoke’s Ryan Shawcross’ horror challenge on Arsenal’s Laurent Koscielny

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Ryan Shawcross is 'not that type of player'. We know this because of Tony Pulis' constant positive reinforcement of the message, and in the player's defence, after he broke Aaron Ramsey's leg two years ago he was visibly distraught. But remembering that challenge, why would he then dive into a tackle against the same team [.

Snoop Dogg wants to be a Celtic mascot

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It looks like the glamourously world of the football mascot has spread to the celebrity circuit, because Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion as he now likes to be called), has declared that he wants in. The rapper has stated that he wants to take in the role at Celtic, after falling in love with the [...]

Peter Odemwingie mocked by his WBA team mates

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It was always going to be bloody awkward for Peter Odemwingie upon his return to the Hawthorns. The striker spent deadline day driving to Loftus Road to try and engineer a move to the club, only to find out that QPR did not actually want his services, probably mainly because WBA had got their lawyers [.

AC Milan youngster Henty scores a solo golazo

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Ezekiel Isoken Henty doesn't just have a cracking name, he can also score impressive golazos too. In truth, this goal for AC Milan's primavera side looks rather like a goal scored on amateur level of a computer game, such is the forwards pace and power. He essentially runs three players into the ground before smashing [.

Stoke’s Michael Owen vs Arsenal’s Mikel Arteta – the worst boxing match ever

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Michael Owen is set for an FA charge after kicking off the least fearsome scrap in history. The Stoke City benchwarmer threw an outrageously poor punch at Arsenal's Mikel Arteta during yesterday' match at the Emirates Stadium. The Spaniard then responded with a strange forearm backhander. Via Feint Zebra

Hartlepool 2 (Hartley, Poole), Notts County 1

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The scoresheet for yesterday's match between Hartlepool and Notts County was particularly apt, with Hartley and Pool on target for the home side. It was the first time Peter Hartley and James Poole have both scored in the same match. And they kindly decided to grab their goals in the correct order. Hartley has scored [.

GIF It: Fat Newcastle fan’s wobbly celebration after Chelsea win

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Most of St James' Park opted for berets and stripy tops yesterday this bloke opted for nothing at all. His mesmerising wobbly celebrations were captured by the Match of the Day cameras. Via 101GG

Gremio fans cause a supporter avalanche

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South American football is not necessarily known for its health and safety. Whilst in England we consider netting behind goals after a coin is thrown, we have previously seen fires, brawls between players and fans and referees being beaten up. Another ugly incident occurred during Gremio's Copa Libertadores victory over LDU Quito, after former Manchester [.

Gillingham manager Martin Allen plays a prank on his Chairman

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When people call someone in football a 'character', it invariably results in them being mentally unstable or a dickhead. Martin Allen is a character. The Gillingham manager pulled one of his 'classic' japes on deadline day, when he tricked his Chairman. Allen left an answer phone message for Paul Scally about a 'Premier League' club [.

Arsenal mocked by fake eBay account

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Oh Arsenal, how you are mocked so. With the club once again suffering a quiet transfer window (spending £9million on a left back because Kieran Gibbs is injured and Andre Santos is bloody awful), some clever prankster has created a fake eBay account for the club. Positive feedback for purchases has been left by Alex [.

Exclusive video: Arsenal’s transfer negotiations with Malaga for Nacho Monreal

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What'd I say? Monreal. What's it called? Monreal. Monreal, Monreal, Monreal. Great potential for a very camp chant there.

GIF It: Strange Spurs fan pops into Sky Sports News shot

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Sky Sports News reporter Paul Gilmour had a tough shift on Transfer Deadline Day. With little going on apart from a few of their players leaving on loan, Tottenham supporters had little interest in what Gilmour had to say. He was battling the noisy banter pleading for silence at one point when suddenly [.

West Brom’s Peter Odemwingie ends up looking like a bit of a prat over failed QPR move

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: New song by Odemwingie "Sign Me Maybe"..."Hey, I just drove here. And this is crazy. I'm in your car park. So sign me maybe" hahaha class Darron Gibson (@D_gibson4) January 31, 2013 With no outlandish transfers being completed on Transfer Deadline Day, the biggest talking point was Peter Odemwingie's failed attempt to force [.

Newcastle celebrate their transfer activity with French themed day at the training ground

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Newcastle were the busiest Premier League club in the January transfer window bringing six new players to the club. With five of the new signings hailing from France, and 14 French-speaking players now at the club, the canteen staff decided to throw a bit a France-themed day. Sammy Ameobi tweeted a picture that made his [.

Who Are Ya? Nacho Monreal (Arsenal)

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Your whistle-stop guide to the latest Premier League arrivals Name: Nacho Monreal Age: 26 Position: Left-back Signed from: Malaga Fee: £8.5 million Did you know? Monreal came through the ranks at Osasuna, breaking into the first-team just before current Chelsea right-back Cesar Azpilicueta. The pair soon became the Spanish side's first-choice full-backs.

Video: Leeds and Norwich fans simulate sex during Sky Sports News transfer deadline report

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Lucciano Becchio moved from Leeds to Norwich yesterday with Steve Morison "going the other way" (as the Sky Sports News reporter says in the video above, unaware that given what's been going on behind her she's coined a euphemism). Two supporters decided to tastefully consummate the transfer against the wrought iron gates of [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you – Betting tips for the 2-3 February

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Bloody hell eh. Malaga nine away games contain nine goals, and then when I get involved they go and win 3-2 at Mallorca. Goals, goals goals. Still, both of the other bets came in, including Matej Vydra's first goal against Nottingham Forest. Our Coventry money was returned as they lost a lead but held on [.

It’s a huge weekend for… Redknapp, Southampton, West Ham and Chelsea’s defence

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Harry Redknapp Redknapp's display of desperation in putting two goalkeepers on the bench against Manchester City was the most unsubtle act since Peter Odemwingie's slight hint that he wanted to leave West Brom. After announcing a month ago that he didn't feel comfortable spending the owner's money, Harry remarkably and honourably managed to act out [.

Jermaine Jenas gets locked out of QPR’s Loftus Road

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With a multitude of fans hanging outside the ground and Peter Odemwingie desperately attempting to Alan Partridge his way into the club, you can see why QPR took the measure of locking the doors to Loftus Road on Transfer Deadline night. However, that didn't particularly help Jermaine Jenas, who couldn't gain entry to the ground [.