I know what you're thinking, the most annoying thing about the Premier League is that you don't see enough managers dressed up sexily, showing off a bit of leg to managers. Fear no more, because James Husbands has created the Sexy Managers Calendar 2013, which features twelve different cartoons of Premier League managers in various [.
Footballers love a tattoo, but after his recent goal against Wigan Mario Balotelli typically went further than most players, getting the following quote tattooed onto his upper chest: I am the punishment of God. If you had not committed great sins God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you Jesus, nice and [.
Rafa Benitez Most of the guff spouted by Chelsea fans (through the medium of boos and banners) has been completely ridiculous e.g "Oh please apologise Rafa". However, two games, no wins and no goals hasn't exactly helped the Spaniard settle into his new home. Football fans are fickle and will be easily converted by victories.
Oh balls, pride before the fall and all that jazz. A huge week a fortnight ago and then last week pretty much nothing about. Manchester United failing to win by more than two was the killer, because there is no way they should have let QPR score the first goal. Chances, chances, chances. The single [.
With Fernando Torres struggling for form (and by struggling I mean in danger of his career success being over), there are a whole host of people lining up to offer advice to the Spanish forward. The latest of these is Darren Campbell, the British sprinter who won a gold medal in the 100m relay, who [.
As you might have heard, Greece is a leetle bit short of cash at the moment, having to ask to borrow a fiver here or there from some of its mates and neighbours. The cashflow issue is also affecting the country's football clubs, with Athens side Panathinaikos particularly strapped for cash. The club has been [.
You can keep your long range strikes, your volleys and your diving headers, because I'm a stickler for a wonderful team goal. And Borussia Dortmund have given me a footballing bonk-on with this beautiful goal. The ball was passed around midfield before working its way to Lukasz Piszczek on the right hand side.
Footballers are not know as the most humble bunch, and Spartak Moscow's Nigerian striker Emmanuel Emenike has done little to change that particular mindset. After hitting a run of good form last season, 25-year-old Emenike was linked with moves to Chelsea, Spurs and Juventus. However, as Spartak have struggled in the league this season so [.
To say Gareth Bale had an eventful game against Liverpool would be slightly understating the effect he had on the incidents during Spurs' 2-1 victory over Liverpool. Forgive us for glossing over the Welsh winger's assist for Aaron Lennon's opener or even his free kick that completely fooled Pepe Reina despite not even taking a [.
I'll be honest, I'm annoyed when I travel six miles to play Sunday League football and find out the game has been postponed because the referee is hungover, but this would really p*ss me off. Japanese football reporter Daisuke Nakajima travelled 6,000 miles from Tokyo to report on the plight of Rangers in he Scottish [.
Valencia secured a comfortable passage in the Copa Del Rey with a 5-1 aggregate victory over Llagostera last night, but the highlight of the match was the opening goal from French defender Adil Rami. Rami marauded towards the halfway line before arrowing a shot over goalkeeper Moragon and into the top left hand corner.
Tasked with getting a pitch invader off the field of play during a match between Maccabi Haifa and Beitar Jerusalem, this Israeli policeman might have opted for his truncheon, CS spray or any other number of options to detain the intruder. But he decided 'when in Rome...' and opted for the trusty two-footed tackle instead.
This fantastic photo is a couple of weeks old, but this is the first we've seen of it so we guess that might be the case for you, too. It comes from the match between Israeli sides Hapoel Haifa and Hapoel Beer Sheva. We don't want to call the entertainment on show into question, but [...]
You spend all summer desperately hoping your club will sign all those players they've been linked to in the gossip columns... and come the end of November you wish they hadn't bothered. Here are 10 players who've not yet settled at their new homes. 1. Rob Green (West Ham to QPR) OK, so conceding five [.
Oh Joey. It has been a while since the enfant terrible of English football made our news, with a 12-game ban rather reducing the propensity for the on-field scrapes for which the midfielder has become famous. Taking a rather different tact to gaining notoriety, Barton has instead followws in the footsteps of everybody's favourite faux [.
Although many sites have claimed that this prank is legit, it is actually a viral ad for a spraypaint. However, don't let that put you off because this is still a brilliant video. With Dortmund travelling to the Allianz Arena this weekend for the first big derby of the season against Bayern Munich, the whole [.
We will give Alen Halilovic the benefit of absolutely no doubt on the basis that he is still young, but the 16-year-old Croatian wonderkid will need to cut this out of his game if he is going to be universally popular. At such a young age, Halilovic has burst onto the scene with goals for [...]
Southampton manager Nigel Adkins is currently playing a game of pin the rat-tail on your first-choice keeper. And the buck has currently stopped with young Argentine Paulo Gazzaniga. Parents along the south coast will be hoping that Gazzaniga is back on the bench before the craze catches on.
Both Londoners, media darlings and wrapped in St George patriotism, Harry Redknapp and David Beckham are a super-bromance just waiting to happen.Despiteperceivedwisdom that the former England skipper would be out of his depth in the top tier of football, he has always been backed by a splurge of superlatives from good ol' Harry.
With his lung-bursting wails of sportingecstasynow common place on our television screens courtesy of a binge of betting advertisements the charm of Tiziano Crudelli is wearing a little thin. The genie is out of the bottle and the Italian football commentator is no longer just the preserve of the football-blogging fraternity.
After just a few days in the job, it appears to already be open season on Rafa Benitez. Sir Alex Ferguson mocked the Spaniard for being 'very lucky' at landing the job and now footage has emerged of old foe Jose Mourinho landing a blow just for good measure. In the build up to the [...]
Another one bites the dust. Just a few months after insistingBranislav Ivanovic be miserable at his suspension from the Champions League final, Geoff Shreeves was at his blunt interviewing best again yesterday providing Rafa Benitez with relentless confirmation of his sour reception at Stamford Bridge.
1. Rafael Benitez hardly got a warm welcome at Stamford Bridge. Roman Abramovich might like to pick up a copy of Mike Ashley's excellent pamphlet 'The Football Club Owner's Guide To Surviving Fan Mutiny'. 2. Chelsea fans were angry, booing Benitez and holding up scraps of paper bemoaning the Spaniard's appointment.
There were few people in the land happier to see Jordi Gomez score a late winner for Wigan against Reading to seal a hat-trick than Wigan goalkeeper Ali Al-Habsi. The Oman international keeper has established a reputation as one of the best custodians in the Premier League, but yesterday scored a horrible own goal to [.
It's the time of year when you look to write your present list for Santa, and Wolves look to have taken the opportunity to cash in on the Christmas market by aiming to sell a rather bizarre piece of football memorabilia. It is, in fact, a rather novel way to make som money for charity, [...]
The Bundesliga is a bloody brilliant spectacle with it's beer in the stands, cheap tickets, great football and safe standing, but some Hamburg fans almost gave things a rather taste with their flare antics. They were in the away end after travelling to watch their side face Dusseldorf when they lit a series of flares.
It does all seem a little strange unveiling statues of people that are not only alive but actually present to see the unveiling, but yesterday Manchester United revealed their dedication to manager Alex Ferguson. The club legend celebrated 26 years in charge of the club by having the statue unveiled by his wife Lady Cathy, [.
On the field Crystal Palace are flying at the moment, with the team sitting at the top of the Championship. I'm pretty sure it's no coincidence that the team's good run only started when the club's cheers leader began producing their Youtube videos and began to go viral. They opened up with call me maybe [.
There are certain events in football that we all love: A referee falling over and opposition fans cheering when the ball has hit the side netting are a couple, but the best may be an outfielder donning the gloves and going in goal. Brazilian midfielder Felipe Melo took this one stage further when he actually [.
Rafa Benitez is beloved by Liverpool fans. He can't help but tell them exactly what they want to hear, even when he's starting a new job at a completely different club. The Spaniard used his first round of interviews as Chelsea's interim manager to hit out at former Liverpool owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett.
Much has been made of Anderson's dietary habits in recent seasons. The Manchester United midfielder's preference for sporting a bit of a paunch has led many pundits to question whether the Brazilian is serious about having a career at the very top level. But he's now taken things to a whole new level by picking [.
A much better weekend last time out. Wouldn't say that I was sipping back on Cristal all week, but Â£86 back from the Â£40 stake is more than steady. In fact, requiring Fulham v Sunderland to go under 2.5 goals for another Â£36 seemed fairly safe with 0-0 at half-time, but the Mackems decided to [...
Alan Pardew Now I'm not knee-jerking enough to suggest that Alan Pardew is in any way under pressure, but Newcastle do need a win. Having lost their last two home games to West Ham and Swansea and won two games in the league since the opening day, there are concerns that this is all very [...]
We could choose not to publish the above image because it is fairly graphic, but that would only be sweeping under the rug the horrific behaviour by Lazio fans who attacked their Spurs counterparts at a bar in Rome Spurs fans were drinking merrily in a city bar, when up to 100 hooligans charged the [.
Vugar Guloglan oglu Huseynzade is a hero, and that will never change. Azerbaijan Premier League side FC Baku recently sacked former Olympiakos defender Bozdar Bandovic due to their position within the relegation zone. Former European footballer of the year Jean-Pierre Papin applied for the job, and has previously managed Strasbourg and Lens.
Some Anglocentric lessons Learned from another bad week for English clubs in the Champions League 1. The European stock of Premier League clubs is falling faster than the BBC's. Nearly. After something of a purple patch for English clubs in Europe which saw two winners, six final appearances and numerous semi-final outings for THE BEST [.
Ok, I can personally guarantee that this will be the last time a version of the Gangnam is featured on here by me unless Ade Akinbiyi and Neville Southall join together as a duet. But the original and greatest R9onaldo has thrown his two cents into the ring with a superb Gangnam Style effort on [...]
Some frankly shocking scenes from Argentina here, as a referee is beaten by Hurrican Arribenos players in an amateur game. The incident started when Hurricane players felt that a Jorge Newbery player was faking. They proceeded to drag the player to his feet, ending in a display of fisticuffs. Leandro Schiavi was sent off for [.
Michael Owen received a lot of stick last night for his dreadful Mo', and rightly so. There were hints that he had dyed the offending item or let something die there. Michael Bridges, however, takes no f*cking prisoners. The former Leeds and Sunderland striker, now playing for Newcastle Jets with Emile Heskey, has firstly gone [.
With his keen eye for detail and the ease with which he's able to draw attention to other people's faults, Jose Mourinho would probably make a very good tennis line judge. The Real Madrid boss did his best impression of one during last night's 1-1 draw with Manchester City. If OTP's memory serves correctly, this [.
Jose Mourinho's press conferences are often hilarious, but it's usually more to do with his dry wit than slapstick humour. After last night's 1-1 draw with Manchester City it was very much the latter. The Special One first performed an excellent mime of a man who can't find something (perhaps a bin for his water [.
This old favourite, the Chelsea managerial carousel, has been revisited to take recent events into account. The Simpson provide their interpretation of Roman Abramovich's hiring policy. Via @FeintZebra
Ordinarily, ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley doesn't need any help to sound like an idiot. But during last night's Champions League match between Juventus and Chelsea he was aided and abetted by the side-netting. Every weekend, fans 'on the other side of the ground' up and down the country are conned into believing their side has [.
Galatasaray manager Fatih Terim's reputation for toughness precedes him, not least among his coaching staff. Petrified members of Terim's backroom staff frantically tried to protect themselves as they clearly believed their boss was about to hurl a bottle at them during last night's victory over Manchester United.
If you're unaware, ChatRoulette.com is a website which randomly pairs you up with another webcam user from around the globe. Now, OTP is going to stick our neck out and say that, while the site may be used by groups of young men and retired millionaire Brazilian footballers, neither of them were actively seeking to [.
Chelsea have parted company with Champions League-winning manager Roberto Di Matteo. The club's traditional nervy November, topped by a Champions League defeat at Juventus last night, has led to the club calling time on the Italian's tenure. "The club will be making an announcement shortly regarding a new first team manager," a statement said.
Roberto Di Matteo has left Stamford Bridge. Who will take over from him as Chelsea manager? OTP looks at some of the serious (and not so serious contenders). 1. Pep Guardiola Manchester City have been plumping up the Barcelona-themed cushions and waiting for a good reason to give Roberto Mancini the shove.
Luiz Adriano delivered his unique interpretation of fair play during last night's Champions League clash between Shakhtar Donetsk and NordsjÃ¦lland. The Shakhtar man raced onto a beautifully weighted throughball (aka his team-mate's attempt to return the ball to the opposition keeper) and coolly put the ball past the keeper (aka a bemused statue wondering what [.
Sure, you expect it from free-scoring, martial art specialist legendary Swedish strikers. But when a rugged French centre-back comes up with an equally glorious overhead kick, it's arguably even more special. Philippe Mexes scored this beauty for AC Milan against Anderlecht last night. Chest control, bicycle kick, bam!
The video may be small, but you can still see the full extent of the violence. Napoli fans have long-term hatred of Foggia, and they set upon some Foggia supporters when they spotted them returning from a game against Campania this weekend. Firstly, Napoli fans saw a bus of Foggia supporters, and proceeded to attack [.
I'm not sure if the cameraman realises that the meteological mentalness could actually effect him or not, but at least he seems to be safe. You might think that Portugal is a wonderful location for some winter sun, but think again, if this video is to be believed. Last week a tornado smashed through southern [.
Name: John Ebbrell In his 90s prime for: Everton Lowdown: Signing schoolboy terms with Everton in 1981, Ebbrell went on to captain England Schoolboys at differing age groups. Many thought that he was destined for international recognition, but it would be fair to say that the midfielder simply didn't fulfil his potential.
Djibril Cisse has been taking QPR's relegation fight a bit too literally after suggesting he'd like to confront an irate Hoops fan. After a 1-3 defeat to Southampton in El Sackico, the QPR fan took to Twitter to claim Cisse "couldn't hit a cow's a*** with a banjo". The Frenchman responded angrily. He tweeted: "Come [.
After bagging five Premier League goals this season the same amount as the Sergio Aguero, Jermain Defoe and Dimitar Berbatov there are definite rumblings that Kevin Nolan should be considered for a place in the England squad. Banging that particular drum harder than an irate Ringo Starr is West Ham vice-chairman and The [.
Now, this might not go down too well down Anfield Way. Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has voiced his frustration and disappointment at the way Michael Owen's potential was managed by Liverpool claiming the Reds overplayed the prolific poacher and thereby stunted his ascendancy to become one the game's greats.
1. Perhaps pitch-length goal celebrations are an effective way for Emmanuel Adebayor to get rid of some adrenaline when he's playing against Arsenal. A relatively subdued celebration was followed by a reckless red card challenge on Santi Cazorla. 2. We're not sure if flicking through a notepad of tactics in the dugout seemingly looking for [.
Players have got it pretty good in the Premier League nowadays. Any standing water on a pitch and the game is called off in a heartbeat the chances of looking like complete amphibious clowns are minimal. Thankfully, such killjoy measures have clearly not quite made it to the J-League in Japan just yet.
We all had the instinct that professional footballers have too much on their hands but now we finally have it indisputably confirmed. Step forward Reading centre-back Sean Morrison. For no discernible reason, he's challenging himself to sample every single cereal for sale down his local supermarket. We'll hand it over to Sean himself to [.
Manchester United star Ashley Young received a warm welcome to Turkey courtesy of a prank phonecall to his hotel room. A Galatasaray fan claiming to be his brother, Yeovil Town player Lewis Young, eventually circumvented the hotel receptionist and had his call transferred to Young's room. After a quick exchange to establish that he was [.
Is the footballing world just becoming broken? This craziness is from the Romanian FIFTH DIVISION game. Is that really the level that warrants such ridiculous scenes? There isn't actually a whole lot else to say about this behavious from fans of ASU Politechnica in their game against AS Nadrag: 1. Any health and safety enquiry [.
David Beckham has confirmed he will leave LA Galaxy next month after six years in the MLS. The 37-year-old said: "I wanted to experience one last challenge before the end of my playing career." All the rumours are linking the former England skipper with a move to Australia to steal some of Emile Heskey's thunder, [.
It was only a matter of time. Edgar Davids has been in charge of Barnet for over a month, so his first sending off for the Bees was probably overdue. Well, no longer, as the Dutchman was given his marching orders for a second yellow card after crunching into James Beattie (as if that is [...]
With the new I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here series recently started, and the hosts Ant and Dec huge Newcastle fans, the Newcastle squad have this week run their own version of the Bushtucker Trial. Players and staff were treated to the opportunity to hold snakes and spiders, and also offered the chance [.
Senegal striker Moussa Sow isn't resting on his laurels after his nomination for the best goal in world football in 2012 (Puskas Award). The Fenerbache forward scored an acrobatic volley against EskiÅŸehirspor, but perhaps the most surprising is that it came after fantastic work from Dirk Kuyt. Or are we being harsh?
What the f*ck is going on at the moment? Only two days ago we brought you news that an Argentinean game had been abandoned after a fire cracker had hit a goalkeeper. Today a Russian Premier League between Dynamo Moscow and Zenit St Petersburg went the same way after Dynamo goalkeeper Antonio Shunin was hit [.
Ahh, the mad world of footy bantz eh?! After Manchester City sent out assistant manager David Platt to do the press conference after the Spurs game last week, the tabloid media rumoured as to why Mancini was a no show. The Italian manager made light of the situation by turning up wearing a mask of [.
Helping out your team mates is one thing, but there has to be a limit. During an Argentinean league game between San Martin and Bell Ville, reserve goalkeeper Marcos Juarez long jumped over the mark by rushing onto the field to make a save. The Bell Ville forward ran through and slotted the ball past [.
The first bet this week combines a couple of niche selections on the two Sky televised games this weekend. Given that 11 of the last 12 games between Arsenal and Spurs have contained more than two goals, and both sides look liable to conceded at the moment a bet of both sides to score is [...]
Arsene Wenger From this column last week: But there is an air of resignation around Arsenal fans at the moment, as they begin to be thankful for past times provided under the tenure of le Prof, rather than any optimism regarding the future. Arsenal may well beat Fulham, but if they don't, they could find [.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic's four-goal boots from Sweden's win over England are being auctioned for charity. In a similar fashion to an outstanding racehorse who goes to stud, the boots are being used to generate some cash rather than having every last wondergoal wrung out of them. The boots promise to be quite a collector's item, especially [.
Ex-West Ham striker Savio Nsereko may have been something of a flop in East London (and that's putting it remarkably mildly), but at least he didn't try anything quite as wild as this in England. Nsereko' family called in police when the 23-year-old rang them from Thailand to say that he needed 3000 Euros after [.
A 14-year-old goalkeeper with Tourette's syndrome had been red carded, banned for two matches and fined Â£25 for swearing at the referee. Owen Thompson, from Hertfordshire, became agitated when the official allowed a controversial goal and told the ref to "f*** off". The Ware Youth under-15s keeper told the Mirror: "It does not seem fair.
Steven Gerrard said it was the greatest goal he'd ever seen live, England fans in the stadium were reduced to slack jaws and polite applause and OTP made a slightly strange noise we'd not made before Zlatan Ibrahimovic's fourth goal against England was pretty special. Via 101GG
1. Zlatan Ibrahimovic has obviously cleared the paperjam that was stopping him 'performing against English sides'. It's safe to say he performed last night. 2. His spectacular fourth goal was something else. You know that's the case when you see England fans applauding an opposition goal. 3. But it did ruin a thousand Zlat-trick headlines.
Bizarre scenes from the warm-up ahead of a match between Ecuadorian sides LDU Quito and Barcelona Sporting Club. The players were preparing for the match while fans were due to be treated to seeing some paragliders landings in the stadium. Unfortunately, one of them managed to land on Argentine striker Claudio Bieler.
FIFA has released its list of nominations for the fourth edition of its Puskas Award, rewarding the player who it believes has scored the greatest goal in the past year. The goals are as follows: Agyemang Badu for Ghana against Guinea, 1 February Hatem Ben Arfa for Newcastle against Blackburn, 7 January Radamel [.
Tottenham Hotspur make the short trip across north London to the Emirates this Saturday lunchtime for what is recognised as one of the fiercest local rivalries worldwide, and this will be the first selection I make on the Betfred Goals Galore coupon this Saturday, for reasons I'll explain... We have been treated to some spectacular [.
Neymar may pretty much have things going his own way, with the world's largest clubs fighting over his future and being nominated for the Puskas Award (which he won last year), but football has a lovely way of bringing you down back to earth. And so it transpired during Brazil v Colombia, when the young [.
Last week we brought you news that Zlatan Ibrahimovic had been sent off for a flying kick on the St Etienne goalkeeper, but at least with that one there was a ball in the vicinity. For Gaston Cellerino of Union La Calera, that excuse ain't gonna wash. After the striker was sent off for a [...]
Manchester United legend Eric Cantona has revealed he would like to replace Sir Alex Ferguson as the Red Devils' manager and he unleashed a new nonsensical fish-themed metaphor to mark the occasion. Famed for his talk of seagulls, trawlers and sardines, the Frenchman again took to the seas to explain that he wants the [.
A pint-sized Swansea mascot who wasn't very impressed at being left out of a team huddle by his heroes has helped a photographer to win an award. Tom Jenkins, a photographer for the Guardian and the Observer, won the Barclays Shot of the Season award after capturing the humorous moment ahead of the Swans' match [.
Yes it is South America. And so yes, we should expect a degree of the mental, but surely this has to stop? Independiente hosted Belgrano last night, and with their side struggling in the Apertura and losing the game 1-0 at half time, home fans decided to take matters into their own hands. They threw [.
Investigators hired by Tottenham to help their bid for the Olympic Stadium have been charged with fraud over allegations that they illegally obtained the private phone records of West Ham director Karren Brady. Howard Hill, aged 58, was a senior investigator at forensic accountants PKF at the time to which the allegations relate.
We've seen physios, ball boys and fans run onto the pitch to make decisive tackles or goal-line clearances, but rarely have we seen a coach get involved in the action... and certainly not in a situation so lacking in danger as this. It comes from an Italian amateur match between CorpolÃ² and Rivazzurra.
The knee slide: simple run-of-the-mill goal celebration or dangerous game of roulette reliant on how well the groundsman has watered the pitch? Marseille midfielder Mathieu Valbuena is probably more inclined to suggest the latter after his celebration against Nice turned into a pretty embarrassing faceplant!
Rafael Benitez's approach to managing Inter Milan was akin to that of a jealous partner, according to revelations from Marco Materazzi. The retired defender claimed Benitez forced him to throw out photos of happy times with his 'exes'. The ex-Liverpool boss made Materazzi ditch pictures of him with Jose Mourinho and Marcello Lippi which were [.
Hibernian have ditched their stadium announcer after he played The Beatles' track Taxman to mock financially-stricken Edinburgh rivals Hearts. Cheeky chap Willie Docherty played the song at half-time during last weekend's televised victory over Dundee United in tribute to the news that their arch-rivals were facing a winding-up order.
Wilfried Zaha has just received his first England call up, but the Crystal Palace forward is already a favourite of BBC newsreader Susanna Reid. Reid is the partner of sports correspondent Dominic Cotton, who is a Palace supporter, and clearly takes an interest in the Eagles herself. After discussions over the decision from Zaha to [.
Those dangers being that the advice you offer to the players you're analysing is probably also applicable to you. After Match of the Day 2 guest Michael Owen spoke about the ease of coming off the bench to score goals, Alan Hansen decided to subject Owen and fellow pundit Jason Roberts' current scoring record to [.
Real Madrid beat Levante 2-1 on Sunday with a late goal from Morata sparing Real's blushes on a pitch that was more viable as a water polo match. However, the highlight of the game (or eyelight, if you will. I'm actually sorry) came early on when Levante's David Navarro smashed Cristiano Ronaldo in the eye [.
Argentina received such a warm welcome as they arrived in Saudi Arabia to play a friendly that they were given an armed escort through the airport to keep the crowds at bay. But Lionel Messi soon discovered that his armed guard posed a far greater threat to his well-being than even the most fervent supporter [.
Name: Xavier Gravelaine In his 90s prime for: Watford Lowdown: A Frenchman who made just seven Premier League appearances during the 1999/00 season, his name may not necessarily spring to mind when discussing the glorious imports of our time. Gravelaine was known primarily during his career for playing for a great deal of clubs, which [.
The age-old promise that Liverpool players will 'never walk alone' was tested to its limits last night after Reds striker Luis Suarez endured one of the more lonesome goal celebrations your likely to see. After bagging a late equaliser against Chelsea, the Uruguayan coursing with jubilation bolted to the corner flag and duly [.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a ferocious free-kick that makes Roberto Carlos strikes look like apologetic scuffs. Playing mid-week against Universidad de Chile, Sao Paolo's Rafael Toloi ran-up to the ball and smacked it as if he had caught it in bed with his wife. The ensuing abuse of physics [.
It's a revelation that will warm the cockles of every Newcastle United fan's heart... Faustino Asprilla looks set for a dramatic return to St James' Park. That's according to the Colombian himself, who has spoken of imminent talks with the Newcastle top brass with a view to joining Alan Pardew on the coaching bench.
1. It was the weekend of the supersub (just whisper it quietly around Edin Dzeko). Both Manchester clubs grabbed victory from the jaws of defeat courtesy of their respective prolific benchwarmers. 2. Chelsea vs Liverpool featured the most racist scoresheet since Nick Griffin scored a golazo in the Fascists Five-A-Side League.
Dining in swanky over-priced restaurants seems a natural by-product of having a grotesquely large disposable income. But true to his delightfully unconventional nature, Arsenal's Andrey Arshavin bucks this trend quite dramatically. According to McDonald's workers in the Hampstead branch of the â€˜restaurant' chain, the diminutive Russian is a regular.
Just knowing your parents are on Facebook is cause for embarrassment for many and things can soon toboggan down to the realms of pure rage when an errant comment backfires. Spare a thought for Ashley Cole then (we know that's easier said than done). Keeping dopey social networking gaffes in the family, Mama Cole has [.
If you weren't aware that Edgar Davids has rejoined English football, your attention will certainly be drawn to it now. The former Holland international and current Barnet FC player-manager washappilychatting away on Goals on Sunday yesterday morning when he accidentally turned the air blue. Detailing his bemused response to recently finding himself on the bench [.
Mario Balotelli has always been one to stay out of the spotlight, so how better to do so that to hide yourself than to cover your car with camouflage vinyl?! Expectedly, Balotelli received more attention with the 'hidden' design than if he had left it black. Image tweeted by @ballsdotie
Sometimes the title pretty much describes all the story, but you have to admire the determination of someone with one leg that decides that he is fed up enough of watching the game and wants to invade the pitch to make his point. If you were wondering, this disability does not mean that you get [...]
Wow. Footballers are not known for their fashion sense a lot of the time. Football managers are not know for their fashion sense. Football fans are not known for their fashion sense. And now football journalists are not known for their fashion sense. Ollie Holt appeared on Sky Sports' Sunday Supplement, and he was wearing [.
Millwall fans really don't make it easy for themselves do they? Last week a thirteen year old fan was banned for the considerable future after being found guilty of racially abusing Marvin Sordell in their recent game against Bolton. Sordell also claimed on Twitter that team mates Lee Chung-Yong, Benik Afobe and Darren Pratley received [.
On Friday night, Lokeren managed to move up to third in the Belgian Jupiler League after a 2-1 home victory over Standard Liege, their fifth win in succession. It was their second goal that was the standout episode of the match, however. The ball was played up to a forward, who rather than taking the [.
Every week I tell myself that I should leave the Championship alone, and every week I come crawling back. If you actually staked your money on single bets on the outsider in every game in the division this season, you'd bloody rip it up. Anyway, I'm even going back to Leeds, so a glutton for [...]
Everton players have got into the spirit of things by bareing almost all for a new calendar created by the club to raise money for the club's official charity Everton in the Community. The good cause is 25 years old, and the players wanted to mark the occasion by doing something special to raise funds.
Alex Oxlade Chamberlain and Emmanuel Frimpong have really kicked off the Christmas spirit by taking part in this It's A Knockout-style obstacle course aimed at showing you as many items available in the Arsenal club shop as can possibly be squeezed into a two-minute video. Cynicism aside, watching the joy on Frimpong's face as he [.
Once considered to be one of the brightest young prospects to come out of Merseyside, Michael Branch is today waking up in prison after being convicted of selling class A drugs. He was jailed for seven years. The former Everton man was found guilty of selling a large quantity of amphetamine in Liverpool, and these [.
Much was made of Andre Villas Boas' attempts at being at strict disciplinarian during his time at Chelsea and now he's unleashed a violent streak in the Spurs dugout! AVB was caught up in the emotions of last night's Europa League win over Maribor. First-team coach Luis Martins wanted to shake hands to congratulate [.
Arsene Wenger Arsenal actually showed some quality in the first half to lead 2-0 against Schalke. And then their Mr Hyde turned up and they were defensively vacant in conceding two. Wenger admits that the situation is 'serious but not critical'. But there is an air of resignation around Arsenal fans at the moment, as [.
Arsenal are struggling on the field at the moment, and it seems that off the field it isn't all going swimmingly either. The club has received complaints recently after membership packs to new Junior Gunners feature Robin Van Persie and Alex Song. Both players left in the summer for pastures new, with Van Persie's move [.
To celebrate the launch of his new clothing range, Cristiano Ronaldo was for some reason sent to a recording studio by Nike. He formed an unlikely musical duo with Real Madrid and Portugal team-mate Pepe. After a bit of posing for photos, the pair have a go at playing some instruments before stepping [.
This one is just a little bit weird. Wanting to provide something for fans that wish to support their club in death as well as life, Bundesliga club Schalke are opening a cemetery for their fans to be buried in. Even odder, the graveyard wil lreplicate the club's Veltins Arena, with goalposts and substitutes' benches, [.
Manchester United paraphrased the work of musical legends 5ive during last night's Champions League win over Braga. Indeed, Sir Alex Ferguson's men decided that when the lights go out is the time to show their opponents what it's all about. United were trailing 1-0 to the Portuguese side when the floodlights went out 12 minutes [.
Pep Guardiola's agent seems to have begun the job of flirting with European football's elite as he tries to secure employment for his client and a healthy pay day for them both. The former Barcelona manager is now always halfway through his year-long sabbatical from football, so his agent Jose Maria Orobitg is starting to [.
1. Football is poking and prodding Roberto Mancini. The blinking, twitchy Manchester City boss is a man on the edge. 2. Sergio Aguero's decision to give his super slippery shoes a run-out backfired. After falling over in a few promising situations, it eventually turned out that the Argentine striker could only keep his footing when [.
Manchester City are planning to continue their Barcelona backroom staff reunion by bringing Bojan Krkic to the Etihad Stadium as their head scout. Krkic, the father of the current AC Milan forward of the same name, will join fellow Barca old boys Ferran Soriano City's new chief executive and Txiki Begiristain the [.
Birmingham and Republic of Ireland player Keith Fahey has tweeted a picture to show-off his early moustache-growing progress to celebrate Movember. The midfielder has had an excellent first week as he grows a handlebar moustache for cancer awareness. In fact, such good progress as he made that people have questioned whether he might have breached [.
This Dynamo Kiev fan might want to keep a low profile for their next few home games. With his team on the attack in the 92nd minute of last night's 0-0 draw with Porto, the supporter decided to embark on a pitch invasion. His run through the penalty box thwarted Niko Kranjcar's attempts to create [..
Whislt Shakhtar were mightily impressive against Chelsea on the whole, goalkeeper Andriy Pyatov was a flashing beacon of loose cannoness. His clearances was charged down by Fernando Torres for the first goal, and he then managed to gift Chelsea the lead for the second time. Coming out of his goal to head the ball out, [.
Young Celtic striker Tony Watt couldn't have dreamt this any better if he'd tried. Just a few minutes into his Champions League debut, the 18-year-old raced onto a long ball that Xavi had uncharacteristically failed to control, did Javier Mascherano for pace and coolly slotted the ball past Victor Valdes in Barcelona's goal.
1. It doesn't matter how much of the ball you have or how many chances you create just how many times the ball crosses the goal-line. 2. The Forst is strong with Celtic's keeper. His two outstanding performances against Barca should ensure he remains at the forefront of Roy Hodgson's thoughts after his recent [.
Well this is just beautiful. Sometimes the stars just align to produce a wonderful GIF, and that is certainly the case from this Estonian game. It seems clear that the two youths behind the goal had got bored with running across the significant area behind the goal, and resorted to a new game where they [.
Being regionally stereotypical for a second, Liverpool fans don't often let sartorial elan get in the way of their support of the football club. We have seen horrendous tattoos of Jamie Carragher, and a good proportion of submissions to the ever-excellent FullKitWankers features the Liver bird. Well this one just takes the p*ss.
Not exactly surprising, eh? Cristiano Ronaldo has publicly declared that he is the deserving winner of this year's Ballon D'Or and that, given half a chance, he'd vote for himself to win the honour. The Real Madrid star's self-confidence is legendary, so there is no big shocks there. But in explaining himself he did give [.
This bizarre footage comes from a US college match between Amherst and Colby. With a minute to play and leading 1-0 Amherst were awarded a throw-in. An Amherst player takes through, walloping it off the head of an opponent and straight back out for another throw-in. She appears to wince at this, suggesting the opponent's [.
QPR fans could be forgiving that very few of their current team are big football fans. Some of them are performing like they've never watched a game in their life at the minute. But now one of the squad has broken ranks to reveal that he never watches a match if he can help it. [...]
West Ham captain Kevin Nolan has done his best to bring any Hammers hanging on to the memories of their 'World Cup-winning' squad by saying manager Sam Allardyce deserves to be a top club. The midfielder, who had previously played under Allardyce at Bolton, reckons Big Sam deserves to leave the East London minnows behind [.
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini showed the first signs that he's feeling the strain from his side's underwhelming start to the season with a bit of a press conference meltdown. The Italian had last week claimed that he'd come close to joining seven or eight clubs last season. But he was in no mood for [.
Luis Suarez is demanding that Liverpool's marketing team rebrand the club's current promotional slogan to better reflect the sharing of the workload at Anfield. The talismanic striker is reportedly fed up of being the only player making a useful contribution to the Reds' performances. After once again getting Brendan Rodgers' side out of jail in [.
Nov 2, 2012 | Football dive analysis number 4 Danny wellbeck by TomDaley1994 on Keek.com For years now Tom Daley's name has cropped up in reference to a shameless dive in the Premier League â€“ a badge of dishonour for a piece of simulation good enough to give the precocious Olympian a run for [...]
With his luscious locks, silky football skills and penchant for acting, David Ginola is synonymous with a bit of glamour and sophistication. Yet of late, you'll find him grinding out a coaching badge in Wales and throwing his managerial hat in the ring for FC Halifax Town. When asked at the weekend whether he fancied [.
1. After years of singing that scores when he wants, Arsenal fans must be wishing that Robin Van Persie hadn't wanted to score against them with his first touch. 2. It was a great weekend for Manchester United. They were the only side in the top six to take all three points. 3. Roberto Martinez [...]
Liverpool supporters paid the price for Brendan Rodgers' attempts to play a slick passing game when a rogue water sprinkler turned on them. The fans were treated to a pre-match soaking after the sprinkler began watering them, rather than the Anfield pitch. Via 101GG
Andre Santos' fairly dubious performances at left-back had already got many Arsenal fans wondering if he's the man for them. So, he decided to use Saturday's defeat at Manchester United to alienate any Gooners who still had some patience remaining. With the Gunners trailing, the Brazilian chose walking down the tunnel at half-time as an [.
1. Guy Roux A former Auxerre player, Roux is best known for his incredible 44-year managerial stint at the club. Eric Cantona, Laurent Blanc, Basile Boli, Djibril Cisse and Philippe Mexes are among those to come through during Roux's time in charge. He retired in 2005 before briefly taking charge of Lens in 2007.
Now I am clearly biased because I consider Zlatan to be a God amongst mere mortals, but is the big man not a little unlucky to be sent off for this kick on the St Etienne goalkeeper? In PSG's 2-0 defeat to St Etienne at home Ibrahimovic was red carded for a kick on goalkeeper [...]
West Brom midfielder Scott Allan, who is on loan at Portsmouth from the Premier League club, has been questioned by police after a man was reversed over in Southsea. Allan was at the wheel of a Â£50,000 Audi Q7 when a man was reversed over, leaving him with critical head injuries. The Police announced that [.
We all know that ITV are fairly dreadful when it comes to football coverage, but this the first time we have seen one of their highlights shows in a while. With the start of the FA Cup proper, the channel produced it's highlights programme of the first round and, true to form, it contained some [...]
The sight of Diego Maradona slaloming through the England team in the 1986 World Cup is a thing of beauty. A tubby but mesmeric knife through stodgy Anglo-Saxon butter. The resulting goal arguably the greatest in World Cup history is suitably ripe for a doting animation and football artwork aficionado Richard Sawbrick has [.
That's according to ex-Premier League referee Clive Wilkes anyway. Drawing on chats he has had with the current crop of officials, Wilkes believes that Chelsea's complaint against Mark Clattenberg could irrevocably damage referees relationship with the West London club and have a devastating knock-on effect for the top-tier itself.
Andre Santos didn't exactly cover himself with glory against Manchester United yesterday. After a poor first half he was seen getting Robin Van Persie's shirt. AT HALF TIME. Not necessarily the greatest way to ingratiate yourself to the away fans after Van Persie's exit this summer, Santos felt the wrath of Arsenal fans on Twitter.
Rudi Skacel is something of a Hearts legend. After two spells with the club (one on loan and one permanently) he won two Scottish Cups. As with many cult heroes, however, his standing has actually increased since he left Hearts this summer. Joining Dundee United, Skacel was allowed to choose his own squad number.
The FA Cup proper gets underway this weekend, and as always there is a story about some part-timer going up against goliath. Sort of. Dorchester Town host Plymouth Argyle, and one of Dorchester's players is Jamie Gleeson, a freelance David Beckham lookalike. That's all well and good, but he doesn't actually look that much like [.
Lionel Messi is a dad. The Barcelona's star's girlfriend Antonella Roccuzzo today gave birth to a boy they've called Thiago. Baby Thiago's footballing genes already put a considerable weight of expectation on him to follow in his dad's footsteps. And that was before this spooky fact was discovered. It turns out that Thiago is 869 [.
With all the talk being that Manchester City's new executive hierarchy might be interested in dumping him for Pep Guardiola, Roberto Mancini has taken the opportunity to reveal that seven or eight clubs were flirting with him last season. The Italian said he was "close" to leaving City in favour of a move to the [.
Laurent Koscielny Since labelling Luis Suarez a diver and a cheat, Koscielny's form has declined considerably. He was fantastic at times last season, but several high-profile mistakes have led to criticism from supporters. Tuesday's mental Capital One Cup game summed it up completely. The defender did score, but left Jason Roberts alone for Reading's first, [.
Slightly disheartening last week. Port Vale's early red card ruined that bet, but at least Demba Ba scored first at St James' Park to give us back Â£32.50 from our Â£40 stakes. Must do better, but after four consecutive weeks of profit I guess it had to end at some point. First bet will focus [...]
Cheers and Frasier actor Kelsey Grammer could be an unlikely supporter at tomorrow's FA Cup first round clash between Carlisle and Ebbsfleet. Grammer's brother-in-law Phil Walsh plays for Blue Square Bet Premier side Ebbsfleet. With his former air hostess sister and her celebrity husband in the country for a family funeral, Walsh is hopeful that [.
Ex-Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish says the controversial decision to wear t-shirts in support of Luis Suarez following racism allegations against him was not made by him. He claims the decision was made by the players. He told talkSPORT: "I didn't send them out in the T-shirts. The boys decided that themselves.
Arsenal trio Thomas Vermaelen, Olivier Giroud and Kieran Gibbs played Top Gear for the day as they took an electric car out for a test drive. The Gunners stars were joined by motoring journalist Quentin Willson who talks to Arsene Wenger as if the Frenchman is an idiot to give the Citroen C-Zero [...
Australia's new footballing superstar Emile Heskey had been tipped for an England recall by his Newcastle Jets team-mate Michael Bridges. The former Sunderland and Leeds (and lots of other clubs) striker reckons Heskey can still offer Andy Carroll some stiff competition for the role of England shire horse.
Continuing our celebration of teamsheet poetry, OTP calls in at Craven Cottage to acknowledge Fulham's pair of rhyming full-backs. Read the teamsheet aloud and you'll sound like you've got an echo with a speed impediment. Well done to Martin Jol for putting this gem together: John Arne Riise Sascha Riether More Rhyming Team-Mates
Credit to the Dutch FA for tackling the subject of homophobia in their new video released this week. It features a player surrounded by a closet whilst playing football (fairly obvious reference there), and has been created with the intention of persuading players that they should not live thir lives hidden in secret.
Fernando Torres can feel himself very hard done by to have been sent-off at the weekend for diving when fellow Chelsea striker Daniel Sturridge got away with this blatant dive. Not even Luis Suarez is this brazen! Then again, this was Halloween, so perhaps we were actually witnessing a stunning recovering tackle from the ghost [.
Bless Robbie Keane. When he was a kid he dreamed of posing for a photo with David Beckham and Russell Brand. And this week his childhood dream came true. Keane and two other randoms were allowed to have their photo taken with Becks and Brand. Clearly, the former Spurs striker's impact on American sporting culture [.
You've got to feel sorry for Carling. All those years they sponsored a pretty rubbish League Cup competition, and then the minute they hand over the sponsorship rights it becomes the most exciting cup tournament in world football. Or something like that. The latest installment in a Capital One-sponsored series entitled 'How Not To Defend' [.
There isn't much better than a really dreadful miss, and almost nothing better when it's a Leeds United player. Leeds may have comfortably beaten Southampton in the League Cup on Tuesday, but the match should be remembered for one of the worst misses we have ever seen. Even manager Neil Warnock admitted as much: "I [.
All we wanted last night for it to be about the football. And, for 120 minutes it was. Chelsea v Manchester United was a wonderful spectacle. There were goals, penalties and no refereeing controversies. And then this happens. Photographs this morning surfaced of a Chelsea fan making monkey actions towards Ashley Young.
With all of the horrible sh*t going on in football at the moment, it is nice that we can still find some good tongue-in-cheek humour. Manchester United did their best to make light of some very serious allegations and occurences with a couple of banners displayed during Chelsea v Manchester United in the Capital One [.
The top leagues across Europe have been using the Nike Maxim footballs, but as of last weekend, the Nike Maxim Hi-Vis ball has been introduced to the Premier League, Serie A and La Liga. The Nike Maxim Hi-Vis take the visual acuity game to the next level with multiple colors on the ball's surface that [.