Off the Post Archives for January 2011

Five alternative ways to punish Carlos Tevez

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Suspension? Pah! After having his head turned more often than the girl in The Exorcist and throwing his toys out of the pram like repulsive confetti, Carlos Tevez's comeuppance has finally come. He has received a two-week suspension for anchoring his bolshy buttocks to the bench against Bayern Munich – but what happens after that?

David De Gea’s tactical doughnut theft excuses

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Lost in translation 1. The Boss told me to pay no attention to the price tag. 2. The Boss told me I could do with developing sticky fingers. 3. I assumed Phil Jones would settle it for me. 4. The Boss says I didn't do it and there's a media conspiracy against me. 5. I [...]


OTP Stoppage Time: Episode 7

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Subbuteo with the chicks What with Ben's mysterious absence in Israel, it's a skeleton crew of Alex and Paddy on the Stoppage Time sofa this week. Some conspiracy theorists have speculated that the show's regular host has jetted off for a shotgun wedding to Arsenal's Yossi Benayoun; while others believe he may be pulling a [.

Manchester United keeper David De Gea steals doughnut

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De Gea, you doughnut David De Gea has escaped with a slap on the wrist after being caught stealing a doughnut. The Manchester United goalkeeper and two friends were caught helping themselves to a Krispy Kreme doughnut from a Tesco store before attempting to leave without paying. Despite his £70,000-a-week pay packet, De Gea was [.

Video: Pre-penalty sock annoyance doesn’t work

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Pull your socks up, son After 10 games without a win, Brazilian side Flamengo were beginning to get a bit desperate. So when opponents America Mineiro had the chance to take a lead from the penalty spot they were willing to try anything to push things in their favour. Defender Junior Cesar decided to pull [.

Video: The moment Shamrock Rovers took the lead at Tottenham

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It looked like a massive Europa League could have been on the cards last night when Irish minnows Shamrock Rovers miraculously took the lead against Tottenham at White Hart Lane. The away side took an unexpected lead when Stephen Rice got a touch to a long-range effort from Gary Twigg. Cue pandemonium among the Rovers [.

Video: Away team chased off the pitch by fans in Bosnia

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Crowd trouble The Bosnian Cup match between Zrinjski and Velez descended into chaotic scenes when Rijad Demic scored an injury time goal for away side Velez. The game is the Mostar derby, with the teams sitting on either side of Croat and Muslim community divide. The Velez players were celebrating the goal when they decided [.

Video: Arsenal winger Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain scores on his Champions League debut…

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... which is always nice Arsenal secured a 2-1 win over Olympiakos in last night's Champions League match, with Champions League debutant Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain opening the scoring. He cut in from his right-wing berth before arrowing a shot into the bottom corner. The 18-year-old seemed to think his performance compared well to all his previous [.

Chelsea star Salomon Kalou’s goal celebration wreaks its evil revenge

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Excitable hand Chelsea substitute Salomon Kalou dished out a valuable lesson to any youngsters watching the Blues' 1-1 draw with Valencia last night: if you spend so much time waving your hand round in front of your face it will eventually prove to be your downfall. The Ivory Coast international's trademark goal celebration involuntarily reared [.

Video: Charlie Nicholas gives a whole new slant on the Carlos Tevez saga

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A corker from Champagne Charlie If you thought you knew the reasons for Carlos Tevez's fallout with Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini, think again. You only know half the story. Here's Sky Sports pundit Charlie Nicholas to fill you in on the finer details. Spotted on Pies


Video: Danny’s urinating dog celebration (Zenit v Porto)

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Paws for celebration szólj hozzá: Original Danny celebration Porto could be forgiven for thinking Zenit St Petersburg were taking the mickey by the end of their Champions League clash, especially if the celebration after their final goal in a 3-1 win was anything to go by. Danny found the net before celebrating with a cocked-leg [.

Irish League side Limavady United offer to take Carlos Tevez on loan

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Northern Irish minnows Limavady United have offered a quick solution to the spat between Carlos Tevez and Roberto Mancini by offering to take the Argentine striker on loan. The club's vice-chairman David Brewster sent an official fax to Manchester City this afternoon outlining his proposal. Brewster stepped in with the chance for Tevez to maintain [.

Titus Bramble arrested on suspicion of sexual assault and possession of a Class A drug

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Bramble in custody Sunderland defender Titus Bramble has been arrested by police investigating claims of sexual assault and possession of a Class A drug. The former Wigan, Newcastle and Ipswich centre-back was arrested in Yarm in the early hours of this morning. A Cleveland Police spokeswoman said: "A 30-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion [.

Arsenal midfielder Alex Song’s ridiculous safety pin hat outed by Emmanuel Frimpong

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Hats off to Song Arsenal youngster Emmanuel Frimpong decided to out fellow Gunners midfielder Alex Song for wearing this rather interesting hat today. Frimpong wrote on Twitter: "Alex Song decided to turn up with this hat today woooow." As far as we can tell in the light, it appears to be encrusted with safety pins [.

Carlos Tevez and football’s top 10 strikes

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When footballers take industrial action 1. Pierre Van Hooijdonk Yes, it might seem unglamorous compared to Tevez's preferred destinations, but the Premier League was once gripped by the tale of a Dutchman who wanted to ditch Nottingham Forest for Middlesbrough. Forest refused to let the striker move to the side promoted along with them, so [.

Kilmarnock manager Kenny Shiels calls Rangers defender Kirk Broadfoot an ‘ugly boy’

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Broadside Kilmarnock boss Kenny Shiels launched a hilarious radio attack on Rangers defender Kirk Broadfoot following an incident in the tunnel after last night's match. Broadfoot and Killie captain Manuel Pascali were both booked in the post-match incident, and Shiels was in no doubt as to who was to blame.

Video: Carlos Tevez’s post-match interview (Bayern Munich 2-0 Manchester City)

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Well, we say post-match but that sort of implies some sort of involvement in the match. Carlos Tevez fronted up to the cameras for a brief TV interview after reportedly refusing to come on as a substitute for Manchester City in their Champions League match at Bayern Munich. He spoke to Sky Sports through an [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 7 – Smokey Jol

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Eloping with Yossi Ep.7 Smokey Jol by Off The Post on Mixcloud It may not have been a classic weekend of Premier League action, but the Off The Post Podcast is back to scrape what we can from the bottom of the footballing barrel. Ben is currently serving a one Pod suspension for comments made [...]


Manchester United player in ‘boring’ Michael Owen jigsaw jibe

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Taking the Little Mickey Michael Owen is on the hunt for a team-mate who mocked his apparent love a jigsaws. The Manchester United striker returned to his locker to find a magazine clipping detailing his fondness for 1,000-piece horse jigsaws attached with a 'Zzzzzz' captioned piece of medical tape. Owen tweeted: "Who is responsible for [.

FIFA 12 turns your legs into emu fancy dress

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Who said modern footballers go down at the slightest touch? The FIFA 12 demo has produced some entertaining glitches already, and here's another. It seems the game occasionally turns your players into anatomically awkward versions of those emu fancy dress costumes you can get. Video via Dirty Tackle


Carlos Tevez refuses to come on as a substitute for Man City against Bayern Munich

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They think it's all over Carlos Tevez's Manchester City career appears to be over after he refused to play during tonight's Champions League defeat to Bayern Munich. Manager Roberto Mancini attempted to use Tevez as a second-half substitute, only for the Argentine to flatly refuse to take to the field.

Video: AC Milan’s fake beard warm-up

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Heavy metal skincare at the San Siro AC Milan fans had a bit of a surprise when their team took to the field ahead of Sunday's 1-0 win over Cesena wearing ridiculous fake beards. If you remember the mysterious pre-match doppelgangers previously used for San Siro-based viral marketing, we presume somebody at Nivea decided to [.

Six Bath City youth team players ordered off the pitch in pants row

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Y-affront A Bath City youth match descended into farce last night after a disciplinary dispute over underpants. Bath had six players ordered off the pitch in the 6-0 defeat to Newport because their underwear was deemed to breach FA rules. The side's manager Billy Clark was among those in trouble with the referee as he [.

Six Bath City youth team players ordered off the pitch in pants row

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Y-affront A Bath City youth match descended into farce last night after a disciplinary dispute over underpants. Bath had six players ordered off the pitch in the 6-0 defeat to Newport because their underwear was deemed to breach FA rules. The side's manager Billy Clark was among those in trouble with the referee as he [.

Video: Krylya and Dynamo Moscow won’t let a bit of water stop their match

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When does a waterlogged pitch become a flood? Judging on the evidence of the match between Krylya and Dynamo Moscow, there is a different threshold as to precisely what constitutes a waterlogged pitch. This match is part football, part bog-snorkelling. Despite a continuing downpour onto an already saturated pitch, the referee shows no signs of [.

Anton Ferdinand gets his regular prostate exam from Stiliyan Petrov (QPR v Aston Villa)

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Up the R's As we all know, Stiliyan Petrov's hands are well known for their miraculous touch. On Sunday, QPR defender Anton Ferdinand felt the benefit of the Saint's healing hands during his regular early season prostate check-up.


Chelsea star Didier Drogba attends Oktoberfest with ‘boyfriend’ Steve Gohouri

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Maybe it's the lederhosen Any reporters wanting a good way to break the ice with Chelsea striker Didier Drogba at the start of the interview might like to romantically link him to a Wigan Athletic full-back. That was the approach taken by German TV presenter Daniela Vukovic. She commented that Drogba had brought his "boyfriend" [.

Backheel penalty exponent Awana Diab killed in car crash

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RIP United Arab Emirates player Awana Diab (aka Theyab Awana) scorer of this summer's most famous penalty has died in a car crash. The 21-year-old star came to the attention of the world's media and won many plaudits with his cocky penalty against Lebanon in July, despite being substituted and given a public [.

Video: Espanyol striker Walter Pandiani gives the sweatiest press conference ever

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Back to black Not all footballers like the glare of media attention, but few quite as literally as Espanyol striker Walter Pandiani. The ex-Birmingham City man is a sweaty chap and the bright lights of television only exacerbate this problem. Watch as the Uruguayan's light grey shirt magically turns black over the course of this [.

Video: Norwegian player scores from his own half… with a header!

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Old big head Meet Jone Samuelsen: a man with neck muscles to put your average giraffe to shame. The Odd Grenland player secured victory in his side's Norwegian league clash against Tromso by scoring a header from inside his own half. Is that a first? Any other halfway headers spring to mind?


Three Word Match Reports: Premier League weekend 24-25 September

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Manchester City 2-0 Everton Mario makes statement Arsenal 3-0 Bolton Wanderers Like old days Chelsea 4-1 Swansea City Fernando's back! Oh... Liverpool 2-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers Back on track Newcastle United 3-1 Blackburn Rovers Demba hit trips. West Bromwich Albion 0-0 Fulham Roy Hodgson Reunion Wigan Athletic 1-2 Tottenham Hotspur 'Arry 'olds on Stoke City 1-1 [.

Three Word Match Reports: Premier League weekend 24-25 September

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Manchester City 2-0 Everton Mario makes statement Arsenal 3-0 Bolton Wanderers Like old days Chelsea 4-1 Swansea City Fernando's back! Oh... Liverpool 2-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers Back on track Newcastle United 3-1 Blackburn Rovers Demba hit trips. West Bromwich Albion 0-0 Fulham Roy Hodgson Reunion Wigan Athletic 1-2 Tottenham Hotspur 'Arry 'olds on Stoke City 1-1 [.

Groggy Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny wants to hold hands

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Under the Kosc Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny had a nasty clash of heads with Bolton striker David Ngog during Saturday's match. The confused Frenchman needed to be comforted and, in his dazed state, discovered that he wanted to hold hands with the Gunners' physio Colin Lewin. Lewin was only too happy to oblige and nuzzled [.

Groggy Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny wants to hold hands

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Under the Kosc Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny had a nasty clash of heads with Bolton striker David Ngog during Saturday's match. The confused Frenchman needed to be comforted and, in his dazed state, discovered that he wanted to hold hands with the Gunners' physio Colin Lewin. Lewin was only too happy to oblige and nuzzled [.

Rock on, with Manchester City first team coach David Platt

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Platt Sabbath We mentioned in our Top 10 conclusions that Mario Balotelli had provided the most unwanted sweaty hug of the weekend after finding the net against Everton. City's first team coach David Platt launched into his own celebration nearby, taking inspiration from your embarrassing uncle at a wedding reception.

Rock on, with Manchester City first team coach David Platt

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Platt Sabbath We mentioned in our Top 10 conclusions that Mario Balotelli had provided the most unwanted sweaty hug of the weekend after finding the net against Everton. City's first team coach David Platt launched into his own celebration nearby, taking inspiration from your embarrassing uncle at a wedding reception.

Video: Unconscious Portuguese striker dropped from stretcher

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Stretcher FAIL Striker Salvador Agra, of Portuguese side Olhanense, found out the true meaning of a double blow yesterday. The 19-year-old was knocked unconscious after sickeningly taking an opponent's knee to the temple. There was a nine-minute delay while medical teams worked on Agra before deciding he needed to be rushed to hospital.

Video: Unconscious Portuguese striker dropped from stretcher

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Stretcher FAIL Striker Salvador Agra, of Portuguese side Olhanense, found out the true meaning of a double blow yesterday. The 19-year-old was knocked unconscious after sickeningly taking an opponent's knee to the temple. There was a nine-minute delay while medical teams worked on Agra before deciding he needed to be rushed to hospital.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 24-25 September

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1. Stoke proved that, once Wayne Rooney is out of the way, there are not that many Manchester United players to kick your way through to give yourself half a chance. 2. Another big Fernando Torres miss... this time it's the next three matches. 3. That ought to be good news for Daniel Sturridge and [.

QPR manager Neil Warnock calls Armand Traore “thick and naive”

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Must Traore harder Recent QPR signing Armand Traore got an early insight into Neil Warnock's unique management style following his sending off against Aston Villa yesterday. The ex-Arsenal player was given his marching orders for a second bookable offence for lunging in to win possession as the Hoops chased a 0-1 deficit.

‘Do Are Ya? Spurs’ Sandro rocks the crazy hair and gumshield look

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Turning the 'air blue Possibly the craziest hair of the new season so far goes to Tottenham midfielder Sandro. He seems to be experimenting with different shades of blue in this very interesting style. He is also topping the look off with a very fetching fluorescent gumshield. All of which makes for a very attractive [.

Video: Neil Warnock accidentally spits out his chewing gum (QPR and Aston Villa)

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Extra time Neil Warnock's big mouth has got him into plenty of trouble over the years, but never so trivially as when he nearly lost his chewing gum before today's Premier League clash between QPR and Aston Villa. The Hoops manager lost his gum while yelling in the general direction of Alex McLeish. But showing [.

South Korea-Italy World Cup referee jailed for heroin smuggling

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Italians say it's nine years too late. Former World Cup referee Byron Moreno was yesterday jailed for two-and-a-half years for heroin smuggling. A New York court passed the sentence after Moreno was arrested at JFK airport last year. He had arrived on a commercial flight from his native Ecuador with bags of heroin strapped to [.

Video: Even Brazilian referees are diving now

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Book him, ref The Premier League can't exactly take the moral high ground on this, but at least there was some contact from Paolo Di Canio on Paul Alcock to prompt his dive. That's more than can be said for the referee in this Brazilian league game between Worker and Mirassol. After a bit of [...]


Video: Ross McCormack’s dying swan impression (Brighton v Leeds)

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A missed career on the stage Leeds goalscorer Ross McCormack mastered the archetypal 'going down in instalments' in last night's dramatic 3-3 draw at Brighton.


Everton add to bald keeper collection

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Smooth Everton have strengthened their squad by signing former Wolves keeper Marcus Hahnemann. The USA international has been brought to Goodison Park in accordance with Tim Howard's contractual requirement that no goalkeeper at the club should have more hair than him. The follically-challenged number one's current backup is Slovakian keeper Jan Mucha.

Brighton and Leeds urged to go green for Plymouth Argyle

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Green armies There promises to be an odd colour scheme at tonight's Championship match between Brighton and Leeds. Both sets of supporters are being urged to ditch their usual colours and where green to highlight the plight of Plymouth Argyle. Just a few weeks into its career, Brighton's Falmer Stadium will be 'swapping sides' in [.

Chelsea name Carlo Ancelotti as manager on Fulham teamsheet

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Back to the future Andre Villas Boas would have had a nasty shock when he saw the teamsheet for Chelsea's midweek Carling Cup clash against Fulham and discovered that he wasn't the manager. In what was presumably an admin error by someone using an old template, Carlo Ancelotti was given a one-night reprieve and reinstated [.

Chelsea name Carlo Ancelotti as manager on Fulham teamsheet

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Back to the future Andre Villas Boas would have had a nasty shock when he saw the teamsheet for Chelsea's midweek Carling Cup clash against Fulham and discovered that he wasn't the manager. In what was presumably an admin error by someone using an old template, Carlo Ancelotti was given a one-night reprieve and reinstated [.

‘Guinea pig’ Owen Hargreaves tows the Manchester City party line

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Squeak Manchester City midfielder Owen Hargreaves has further endeared himself to supporters following his stunning debut goal with a spot of Manchester United-bashing. The fit-again England international has blamed his former club for the injury problems that blighted his career for the last three years.

Video: Diego Maradona kicks a fan for ruining his photo opportunity

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The swollen hand of God This is one of our favourite videos for a while. New Al Wasl manager Diego Maradona is keen to have a photo taken with a Spanish language banner someone has made to welcome him to the club. Unfortunately, it soon emerges that despite the nice sentiment of their banners, Al [..

Top five rejuvenated crocks

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In a week when both Michael Owen and Owen Hargreaves found the net (having found the pitch), OTP celebrates players who have made a triumphant return from the footballing glue factory. 1. Ronaldo Yes, his injuries and weight issues got the better of him in the end, but his career could have been over in [.

Arsenal get last laugh in Cesc Fabregas saga by signing Joan Laporta’s son

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Gone fishing It is not a great time to be an Arsenal, but here's a humorous little straw for downtrodden Gooners to cling to. The club has signed the son of the man who spearheaded part one of the campaign to bring Cesc Fabregas back to Barcelona. Guim Laporta, son of ex-Barca president Joan, is [...

Video: Swedish sides AIK and Djurgardens hold silent protest

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Swedishhhhh football Swedish rivals AIK and Djurgardens spent the first 10 minutes of the Stockholm derby in silence in protest at the state of modern football. The main point of the period of quiet was to demonstrate the importance of fans. To demonstrate this further, all the fans went absolutely mental as soon as 10 [.

Video: Swedish sides AIK and Djurgardens hold silent protest

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Swedishhhhh football Swedish rivals AIK and Djurgardens spent the first 10 minutes of the Stockholm derby in silence in protest at the state of modern football. The main point of the period of quiet was to demonstrate the importance of fans. To demonstrate this further, all the fans went absolutely mental as soon as 10 [.

Video: Linesman hit by till roll

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Kerching! The Copa Sudamericana clash between Nacional and Universidad de Chile had to be abandoned after a linesman was hit on the head by a till roll thrown from the crowd. While throwing toilet rolls is a grand tradition, one heavy-handed shopkeeper decided to raid his cash register in search of some ammunition for his [.

Video: Phil Neville scores a goal (Everton v West Brom)

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Phil your boots Phil Neville's getting prolific in his old age. He bagged his second goal this year with the winner in last night's Carling Cup match against West Brom. The Everton skipper curled in a left-footed effort from the edge of the box to secure a 2-1 win for the Toffees. It's come to [...]


Video: Owen Hargreaves plays a match, scores a goal! (Manchester City v Birmingham)

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Once in a Blue Moon No way. Would you credit it? Owen Hargreaves not only avoided a trip to Manchester Royal Infirmary on his Manchester City debut, he only went and scored a bloody goal as well. Talk about running before you can, well, run for sustained periods, Roberto Mancini is now touting his new [.

Newcastle defender Danny Simpson sets dubious targets for Newcastle’s season

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Iceberg ahoy! Newcastle might be over-performing at the moment, but right-back Danny Simpson is following a dangerous template for the season. The ex-Manchester United man wants the Magpies to emulate Birmingham City's achievements last season. He told the Mirror: "We think we can go far in the Carling Cup look at Birmingham last season.

Video: Cristiano Ronaldo gives Racing Santander fans the finger, claims it was aimed at Pepe

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Rich, handsome and good at gesturing Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo was been courting controversy again after being filmed giving a middle-finger salute to Racing Santander fans who were giving him a bit of verbal at the airport. Ronaldo dismissed the incident, saying his gesture was aimed at team-mate and compatriot Pepe.

Video: Cristiano Ronaldo’s anti-jealousy commercial

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He's only worried about you Hot on the heels of Cristiano Ronaldo's proclamations that he gets a tough time because of he is rich, handsome and good at football, Spanish comedy sketch show Crakovia has put together this spoof 'Say No To Jealousy' TV advert.


Video: Fernando Torres miss re-enacted on FIFA 11

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Game on This entertaining (but NSFW) video features a happy juxtaposition of two footballing greats soon to be confined to the scrap heap: FIFA 11 and Fernando Torres. One gamer we'll take a stab at one unemployed gamer has painstakingly recreated Fernando Torres' horrendous miss against Manchester United last weekend on FIFA 11.

OTP Podcast: Episode 6 – Oh Fernando!

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Call me Blacktooth Ep.6 Oh Fernando! by Off The Post on Mixcloud Greetings! The Off The Post Podcast is back with its knives and forks at the ready as it prepares to chomp through the meat and veg of last weekend's Premier League action. It was a rather eventful weekend, so as per usual we've [...]


Schalke fans ‘lynch’ former keeper Manuel Neuer

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Who loves ya, Manny Neuer? Schalke fans haven't gotten over the sudden transfer of goalkeeper Manuel Neuer to Bayern Munich during the summer. They went to the trouble of demonstrating their feelings toward their former number 1 by hanging an effigy of a goalkeeper in a Bayern shirt from an Autobahn bridge before last Sunday's [.

‘Heineken’ Hatem Ben Arfa and 10 other footballer beer slogans

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Gone are the Newcastle Brown sponsorship days Newcastle manager Alan Pardew has reworked the Heineken tag-line 'refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach' in his efforts to heap praise on French star Hatem Ben Arfa. Pardew said: "He's a player that can reach heights that other players can't reach that Heineken player if you [.

Video: Impressive KO own goal from US college match

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An own goal AND a sore head This bizarre own goal comes from the US college game between Mid America Nazarene and Oklahoma Baptist. The Oklahoma keeper attempts to punt the ball downfield, but succeeds only in locating the back of a defender's head. The ball knocks the player to the ground before looping back [.

Video: Barcelona’s Gerard Pique enjoys a FIFA 12 snog with Marseille’s Mathieu Valbuena

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The hotly anticipated FIFA 12 game features a new Player Impact Engine, which is supposed to make the contact between players a lot more realistic. But in some cases it seems to only bring out the players' lustful side. Take this example of Barca's Gerard Pique. He uses a slide tackle to lure Marseille's Mathieu [.

Video: Barcelona’s Gerard Pique enjoys a FIFA 12 snog with Marseille’s Mathieu Valbuena

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The hotly anticipated FIFA 12 game features a new Player Impact Engine, which is supposed to make the contact between players a lot more realistic. But in some cases it seems to only bring out the players' lustful side. Take this example of Barca's Gerard Pique. He uses a slide tackle to lure Marseille's Mathieu [.

Video: Ipswich Town’s Jimmy Bullard and Keith Andrews decide free-kick duties with Rock, Paper, Scissors

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Straight from the training ground Ipswich showed the careful planning and strategy that goes into their set-pieces during last night's match against Coventry. Midfielders Jimmy Bullard and Keith Andrews both fancied a crack at a free-kick, so they settled their dispute with a quick on-pitch game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

QPR players get a high chair for Shaun Wright Phillips

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SWP's baby seat We missed this on Friday must have clocked off but QPR sent out a search party ahead of their match against Wolves at the weekend when Shaun Wright Phillips failed to arrive for dinner at the hotel. Midfielder Joey Barton tweeted a photograph of the England international's vacant monogrammed high [.

The perfect solution to Arsenal’s woes

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And the answer is: That's right: Arsenal need George Graham back at the club. The hapless Gunners find themselves in a very similar position to Liverpool at the start of last season. Remember when the Reds looked like relegation contenders with Roy Hodgson at the helm? And what was the solution? They ditched their current [.

Video: Colin Kazim Richards gives new Arsenal signing Andre Santos dance lessons

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Take Turkey's least likely World Cup player, Arsenal's new left-back, what appears to be a children's play area and a dance lesson. What have you got? One of the strangest YouTube videos ever. This video comes from earlier this year when Colin Kazim Richards and Andre Santos were team-mates at Galatasaray.

Video: Joey Barton throws a plastic bottle at QPR team-mate Shaun Derry during interview

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QPR's Shaun Derry found his post-match interview with Match of the Day rudely interrupted by a plastic bottle to the head. Unsurprisingly, team-mate Joey Barton was the man behind the prank. If you had told Neil Warnock that Barton would have bottled someone within a few weeks of arriving at the club, this is probably [.

Video: Joey Barton throws a plastic bottle at QPR team-mate Shaun Derry during interview

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QPR's Shaun Derry found his post-match interview with Match of the Day rudely interrupted by a plastic bottle to the head. Unsurprisingly, team-mate Joey Barton was the man behind the prank. If you had told Neil Warnock that Barton would have bottled someone within a few weeks of arriving at the club, this is probably [.

Video: Joey Barton – human scoreboard (Wolves 0-3 QPR)

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Joey, what's the score? As you can tell from our content this morning, it was another busy weekend in the crazy world of Joey Barton. Just like last season with Newcastle, he found himself taking a bit of a kicking at Molineux, not least from Wolves' Karl Henry. Once again, the midfielder largely kept a [.

Video: Joey Barton – human scoreboard (Wolves 0-3 QPR)

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Joey, what's the score? As you can tell from our content this morning, it was another busy weekend in the crazy world of Joey Barton. Just like last season with Newcastle, he found himself taking a bit of a kicking at Molineux, not least from Wolves' Karl Henry. Once again, the midfielder largely kept a [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 17-18 September

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1. When it's not going for you, it's really not going for you, Fernando. On the scoresheet and looking sharper than he has for months, Torres' confidence must have been on the rise. That horrendous miss must completely deflated him. 2. You're getting sacked in the morning was the chant at Ewood Park.

Three word match reports: Premier League weekend 17-18 September

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Fulham 2-2 Manchester City Eye off ball. Manchester United 3-1 Chelsea Oh dear, Fernando. Sunderland 4-0 Stoke Bruce thanks Kiev. Tottenham 4-0 Liverpool Reds by name... Aston Villa 1-1 Newcastle Strangely still unbeaten. Blackburn 4-3 Arsenal Protest? What protest? Bolton 1-2 Norwich Lambert's buys click.

Video: Outrageous Fernando Torres miss (Manchester United v Chelsea)

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Oh dear If Fernando Torres' confidence was back up again after he found the net early in the second half against Manchester United, it is back down at rock bottom now.


Rangers decide to help Celtic jokes with Ally McCoist’s Old Firm seating arrangements

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Three's a crowd In an unexpected display of Old Firm hospitality, Rangers decided to provide Celtic with a few obvious gags by offering manager Ally McCoist this seat in the directors' box. After Sky Sports had cut to McCoist a couple of times, someone must have wisely whispered in the woman's ear that she might [.

The first evidence of Per Mertesacker and Andre Santos shoring up the Arsenal defence

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Shades of Winterburn and Adams szólj hozzá: Bl0-1Ar[Matchhighlight.com] Arsenal's new defensive duo Per Mertesacker and Andre Santos made an inauspicious start to their time at the club. The pair allowed Yakubu to grab an equalising goal for Blackburn with some pretty slack defending. Looks like they'll fit in well!

Maradona / MariDonda 3-4 Al Jazira

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Al Diego Argentine legend Diego Maradona's first match in charge of Al Wasl in the United Arab Emirates ended in disappointment when his side lost 4-3 in injury time to rivals Al Jazira (not the news agency). Both teams benefitted from a penalty but in the end it was a goal from Brazilian striker Baré [.

Savio Nsereko’s career goes walkabout, and not for the first time

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Lost. Found! Lost Again. Found Again...ho hum. Italian press reports this week indicated that Ugandan-born attacker Savio Nsereko, once of West Ham, was missing from his current team Juve Stabia. The player had not attended training nor had supplied a satisfactory explanation for his absence. He had made just one appearance for the Serie B [.

Video: Tiziano Crudeli is here to brighten up your Friday afternoon (AC Milan v Barcelona)

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The most exhilarating 30 seconds of this season's Champions League so far Alex Pato's quick-fire goal in the Nou Camp – just half a minute in, the fifth fastest ever recorded in the tournament – was a treat to watch. A brilliant display of pace and exuberance temporarily toppling a bullet-proof foe.

Video: Topless female Dynamo Kiev fan wants to be one of the lads

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A game of chicken in Kiev? This female fan at last night's Europa League clash between Dynamo Kiev and Stoke City is clearly a passionate supporter of the club. So when all the men around he decided to take their shirts off during the match, she wasn't going to be left out. One strategically placed [.

Wigan suffer ball bag theft

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Latics have no balls Wigan had to postpone their training session yesterday after thieves stole 48 balls. Manager Roberto Martinez was forced to send his squad for jog after finding that four bags each containing 12 Nike balls had been pinched. The bags had been left on the pitch in preparation for the session, but [.

OTP Podcast Stoppage Time: Episode 6

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Choke slams and gentle slaps This week, the OTP Podcast chaps celebrate the return of the Champions League by jetting off around the world to find footballing fights and frolics, rather than spending a Tuesday night in with the wonders of Plzeň v BATE Borisov. It's what Michel Platini would have wanted, surely?

OTP Podcast Stoppage Time: Episode 6

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Choke slams and gentle slaps This week, the OTP Podcast chaps celebrate the return of the Champions League by jetting off around the world to find footballing fights and frolics, rather than spending a Tuesday night in with the wonders of Plzeň v BATE Borisov. It's what Michel Platini would have wanted, surely?

Inter Milan: downright un-Italian

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Shock, horror, Gasperini! Inter Milan's new look team has not been a success thus far. The side was gunned down in a 4-3 defeat away to Palermo on the opening day of the Serie A season, then was stunned 1-0 at home by Turkish upstarts Trabzonspor in the Champions League. Interestingly, the side sent out [.

Inter Milan: downright un-Italian

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Shock, horror, Gasperini! Inter Milan's new look team has not been a success thus far. The side was gunned down in a 4-3 defeat away to Palermo on the opening day of the Serie A season, then was stunned 1-0 at home by Turkish upstarts Trabzonspor in the Champions League. Interestingly, the side sent out [.

Wolves badge appears in the clouds

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Mick McCarthy's men set for heavenly intervention Ooooh, spooky! This floating Wolves logo was spotted in the skies above Telford by Wanderers supporter Luke Fellows. He's taking it as a very good omen that a higher power will see his side to Premier League safety this season. He told the Express and Star: "I just [.

Video: The world’s worst clearance

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20,000 pople don't see botched clearance Bend it like Beckham, spin it like a Tory media flack. What's with the empty terraces when there's football like this going on? We don't know where it's from but the Arab teams responsible for this are probably happy to remain unknown in the wider world for now.

Spurs’ Rafael Van Der Vaart has the perfect cure for his hamstring, but it sounds like it will damage his groin

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A whole new meaning to Netherlands Tottenham star Rafael Van Der Vaart is going to see a veteran physio in a bid to ensure a swift recovery from his hamstring injury but it doesn't bode well for his groin. The midfielder is returning to his homeland to receive treatment from Dick Van Toorn. Ouch! [.

Conclusive proof that Fernando Torres is both right and wrong about Chelsea being slow

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Stat attack Fernando Torres is absolutely spot on and also talking absolute gibberish about his sluggish Chelsea team-mates, according to stats from the EA SPORTS Player Performance Index. The Spaniard had been quoted as saying: "Chelsea is, between the English teams, maybe the least English. That's because of the kind of player Chelsea has – [.

Top 10 unluckiest sub keepers

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With Anders Lindegaard moaning about picking his nose, OTP looks at 10 goalkeepers who were quite unfortunate to find themselves in a similar predicament. 1. Steve Harper The Newcastle keeper has been backup to Pavel Srnicek,, Shaka Hislop and most famously Shay Given. He finally made the number one shirt his own in January 2009.

Manchester United keeper Anders Lindegaard not content to pick his nose

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And he's already told you a thousand times Manchester United goalkeeper Anders Lindegaard has stated his intention to keep hold of his place in the starting line-up by revealing that he does not want to pick his nose. We assume that this is his analogy for sitting on the bench. Perhaps he should bring his [.

Video: Ridiculous dive from Japan

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Air kick This terrible, terrible dive comes from the match between Japanese sides Cerezo Osaka v Jeonbuk FC. Ryuji Bando, with his back to you, decides to re-enact the world's least convincing ninja movie in an attempt to get opponent Huang Bowen (no relation to mark) sent-off.


Video: Sir Alex Ferguson snaps at Kenny Dalglish’s daughter over David De Gea question

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The Dalglish dynasty weighs in on Fergie's team selection Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson hit out at the daughter of rival Kenny Dalglish in a post-match interview following last night's 1-1 draw with Benfica. Reporter Kelly Cates (nee Dalglish) questioned Fergie's decision to leave keeper David De Gea out of the side in favour [.

Video: Joe Cole embraces French culture with rendition of ‘Maybe It’s Because I’m A Londoner’

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Homesick already? Joe Cole enjoyed the age-old football tradition of forcing the new boy to sing following his arrival at French side Lille. With an entire history of music to choose from, the former Chelsea man plumped for Maybe It's Because I'm A Londoner. Near pitch perfect it was too. Video via


Classic Benfica v Manchester United

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The battle for mastery of European soccer Ahead of Manchester United's match against Benfica tonight, it's worth recapping on the sides most famous meeting. It is, of course, the 1968 European Cup final. And it's delivered in glorious British Pathe style.


OTP Podcast: Episode 5 – Manc Monopoly

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He's gone for a Song Ep5 Manc Monopoly by Off The Post on Mixcloud Just like the Champions League, the Off The Post Podcast is back, and my word do we have some European themed treats for you. Exclusive behind the scenes access to a brand new Heineken Championss League ad campaign you say? An [...]


Alex Pato scores the fifth fastest Champions League goal (AC Milan v Barcelona)

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Quick quack AC Milan forward Alex Pato caught Barcelona cold at the start of their Champions League opener last night finding the net in just 23 seconds. The Brazilian star raced through the heart of a pedestrian Barca defence The incident sparked some pretty violent analysis from Barca coach Pep Guardiola.

Liverpool youngster Nathan Eccleston investigated over 9/11 conspiracy tweets

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Nathan and the New World Order Young Liverpool striker Nathan Eccleston is being investigated by the club for suggesting on his Twitter account that the events of September 11, 2001, were not a terrorist atrocity. The 20-year-old tweeted his conspiracy theory that 9/11 was actually carried out by an elite group of 'Illuminati' on the [.

GIF It: Chelsea matchwinner David Luiz set for new post with Ministry of Silly Walks

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Walk this way Chelsea centre-back David Luiz not only scored the winning goal for Chelsea in their opening Champions League match against Bayer Leverkusen, he also did a silly walk. His flamingo impression is coming on, erm, leaps and bounds.


Chelsea’s Ashley Cole forced to withstand cruel Bayer Leverkusen subtitles

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talkSPORT presenter Sam Matterface accidentally sends public tweet about Natalie Sawyer’s ‘boobies’

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Twitter FAIL talkSPORT and ex-Sky Sports News presenter Sam Matterface is slightly red-faced this afternoon after accidentally publishing a private message to his wife on Twitter. The message was supposed to be for Sky Sports News presenter Natalie Sawyer's eyes only but he instead published it to his 31,000 followers.

OTP meets Patrick Vieira, Ruud Van Nistelrooy and Rene Adler

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Find out Vieira's rather unlikely favourite Prem player With the new season now back in full swing, it's time for the players of Europe's top clubs to dig out their passports, buy an oversized pair of headphones for the plane, and in some cases get prepared to take on teams that are probably easier to [.

Bayer Leverkusen star Sidney Sam wants to know: ‘Who the f*** are Chelsea?’

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Like Bayer Leverkusen striker Sidney Sam endeared himself to Chelsea fans ahead of the two sides meeting in their Champions League clash with an inflammatory Facebook post. The ex-Hamburg man posted a photo on his Facebook page of himself in front of a Chelsea shirt with his thumbs down. He helpfully captioned his photo: "Who [.

Video: Crazy goalkeeper FAIL from Belarus

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What's he playing at? Artem Gomelko, goalkeeper at Belarus outfit Torpedo Zhodino, has turned himself into an internet hit with one overly casual slap of his hand. The hapless goalie was watching a ridiculous 70-yard effort drift wide. His first mistake was moving too far across his goal so that he was no longer guarding [.

An apology

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Meet a Premier League star This morning we told you that a "Premier League star" would be outed as a cocaine user in tonight's episode of Dispatches on Channel 4. It has since come to our attention that the player in question was actually Garry O'Connor. Not only does that mean that the player in [..

Tony Fernandes suddenly stops laughing for a goal-kick (QPR v Newcastle)

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Restarts of play are no laughing matter Laughing and joking is all well and good while the ball's out of play, but for new QPR owner Tony Fernandes the fun and games stop when a goal-kick is about to be taken. Serious business.


Video: Bournemouth chairman Eddie Mitchell confronts fans

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At least he didn't sing Football official, football pitch, microphone: it's rarely a good combination and it certainly wasn't in this case. Bournemouth chairman Eddie Mitchell took to the mic to open a discussion with angry Cherries fans protesting against his running of the club. The south coast club's supporters are furious at Mitchell's decision [.

Premier League star pays off bride-to-be

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A nice wedding present A soon-to-be-married Premier League player has reportedly handed a windfall payment to a bride-to-be to get her to move her own wedding. The star and his fiancee had set a date for their big day only to discover that their preferred venue was already booked. The venue keen on [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 10-11 September

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1. Manchester City are looking like the Premier League's new Arsenal. Remember, when they played that outstanding brand of football, scored outstanding goals and beat whatever opposition was in front of them. 2. After his hair transplant powered him to back-to-back hat-tricks, Wayne Rooney is probably contemplating what impact a boob job might have.

Video: Daniel Sturridge ‘does a Balotelli’ but scores (Sunderland 1-2 Chelsea)

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Cheeky backheel Given that this goal turned out to be Chelsea's match-winner against Sunderland, it is probably just as well that Daniel Sturridge's effort did trickle over the line. Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli was infamously hauled off by Roberto Mancini after messing up a similar chance in a pre-season friendly.

Video: Lionel Messi does dive after all (Real Sociedad 2-2 Barcelona)

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What a Mess Much has been made of the fact that Lionel Messi 'never' dives, especially in comparison to his nearest rival as the world's best player. And now we know why. It turns out he's not very good at it. Messi attempted to win a penalty in Barcelona's 2-2 draw at Real Sociedad on [...]


Bolton’s Kevin Davies crunches into The 100 Yellow Card Club

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Ton-up Congratulations, Kevin Davies. Your crunching tackle on Tom Cleverley was not just remarkable for its clumsy excess it represented something much more historic and lamentable your 100th yellow card in the Premier League. Being the tackling lovechild of Alan Shearer and Paul Scholes, the world has always assumed Big Kev has been [.

TV show to name Premier League cocaine user

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Prem drugs bust A Premier League star who tested positive for cocaine will be named in a TV programme airing tonight. The player will be outed by tonight's episode of Dispatches on Channel 4. He has reportedly been sold by his club in a multi-million pound transfer since the failed drugs test. And his new [.

Video: Michel Vorm howler hands Arsenal victory against Swansea

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This Swan's for you Swansea goalkeeper Michel Vorm picked a terrible time for a game of dodgeball with team-mate Angel Rangel with today's match against Arsenal. Vorm won the dodgeball game, but the Swans lost the match as Andrey Arshavin capitalised on his clanger to give the Gooners a 1-0 victory. Video via 101GG


OTP Podcast Stoppage Time: Episode 5

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Cheeky chairmen This week's Stoppage Time comes from more familiar surroundings, while Alex's bedroom is being redecorated with floor-to-ceiling posters of Chelsea new boy Romelu Lukaku. Top carpet boffins are even experimenting with ways to weave the 18 year old Belgian's face into the deep shag pile that Alex demands under his feet.

OTP Podcast Stoppage Time: Episode 5

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Cheeky chairmen This week's Stoppage Time comes from more familiar surroundings, while Alex's bedroom is being redecorated with floor-to-ceiling posters of Chelsea new boy Romelu Lukaku. Top carpet boffins are even experimenting with ways to weave the 18 year old Belgian's face into the deep shag pile that Alex demands under his feet.

Juventus give new stadium a Lion King opening

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Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh OTP is not sure how long Juventus locked their supporters in their new stadium for but this opening ceremony seemed to go on for hours and they had to watch a friendly against Notts County afterwards (more on that later). It's fair to say there was something for everyone from a musical [.

Notts County hold Juventus to draw at new stadium opening

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C'mon you black and whites When Juventus invited League Two outfit Notts County to open their new stadium they were probably anticipating a morale-boosting comfortable victory. Instead they found themselves pegged back to a disappointing 1-1 draw by a convicted killer, which probably wasn't in the script.

Video: Dennis Rommedahl’s crossing FAIL (Denmark v Norway)

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Spectacular air kick The problem with being as quick as Dennis Rommedahl is that you always assume that you are faster than the ball. But sometimes that pesky ball just gets the better of you and runs away. That's exactly what happened when Denmark and Norway met this week. Cue a hilarious crossing fail from [.

Nicklas Bendtner arrives at Sunderland with trademark confidence issues

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Glowing reference from Bendtner's number one fan "Hopefully, when I'm playing Premier League football every week with Sunderland, I can prove what the world has been missing for a long time." The world waits to see whether Nicklas Bendtner backs up the latest in a long line of quotes on his self-professed brilliance with some [.

Arsenal take Spanish lady with hat shop called Arsenale to court

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Gunners win at last For years people have been telling Arsenal that they roll over too easily and need to start being bullies. So they have taken a Spanish shopkeeper to court over a trademark infringement. The Gunners have won their case against Alicia Simon, owner of Seville's Arsenale hat shop, although she is appealing [.

Former Aston Villa and Man Utd star Paul McGrath launches bid for pop stardom

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The new Daniel O'Donnell? Ex-Aston Villa and Manchester United centre-back Paul McGrath seems to be angling for a music career after this video of his rendition of the Gerry Goffin and Carole King song Goin' Back appeared on YouTube. The track is the first single off a forthcoming 11-track album of covers.

Jay Bothroyd outed as Ugg boot wearer by new QPR team-mate Joey Barton

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Barton put the boot in QPR's players are already feeling Joey Barton's impact on the club. Striker Jay Bothroyd this morning found his footwear was a hot topic of conversation for Barton's hundreds of thousands of Twitter followers. The Hoops' new midfielder is (quite rightly) intent on mocking Bothroyd for wearing Ugg boots.

Abbey Clancy delighted at Stoke City move

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Or not Abbey Clancy endeared herself to fans of husband Peter Crouch's new club Stoke City by assaulting Jamie Redknapp over his dad's decision to approve the move. According to the Mirror, Clancy hit Redknapp on the shoulder and said: "Tell your dad I wanna kill him!" And she revealed that she was not particularly [.

Video: The worst penalty ever

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Feint and fluff Al Ahly's Amir Sayoud pays the price for being too clever in what's an early candidate for Most Abysmal Penalty of the season. His feint-and-fluff routine clearly displeases the referee who gives him a yellow card for the baulk, and presumably his gaffer wasn't too impressed either. Eat dirt, sucker!

Italian police want to talk to Mario Balotelli over mafia links

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Mafioso Balotelli We told you in June that Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli had been named in a report published by an Italian law enforcement agency over suggestions that he had been associating with known mafia bosses. The report suggested that Balotelli was given a tour of Naples' drug-ridden Scampia district by Salvatore Silvestri, of [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 4 – Feed The Yak

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I like Staines Ep.4 Feed The Yak by Off The Post on Mixcloud Despite the international break, the Off The Post Podcast is back again to fill your ear canals with facts and stats about European games that you couldn't care less about, as well as all the thrills and spills of transfer deadline day. [..

Video: Turkey fans out-sing a spot of open air opera

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Oh Vienna A crowd of opera fans who were not fortunate enough to get tickets for a performance of Verdi's Simon Boccanegra at the Vienna State Opera yesterday had to settle for watching it on a big screen instead. But the opera was interrupted part way through for a virtuoso vocal performance from a group [.

Top five conclusions: England 1-0 Wales

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1. Meh. If you want to look for a positive, it is the sort of match that England would usually draw. 2. After the Bulgaria match we concluded that Fabio Capello had solved the Lampard/Gerrard debate once and for all. Further research conducted last night supports those findings. 3. If Chris Smalling was able to [.

Video: Robert Earnshaw’s horror miss (England v Wales)

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Shaw-footed Wales were within a whisker of snatching a point against a poor England last night. And there is no doubt about the moment that would have haunted them last night, especially Cardiff City striker Robert Earnshaw. With no defenders around him and most of the goal to aim for, Earnshaw managed to fire over [.

Video: Enzo Zidane (16) trains with Real Madrid first team

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The new Jordi Cruyff? Zinedine Zidane's 16-year-old son Enzo trained with the Real Madrid first-team for the first time yesterday. The youngster's impressive attempts at following his dad into a career in professional football have been sporadically documented over the years in a series of YouTube snippets.

Kitman: Richard Dunne’s felt-tip pen shirt number

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Did you see our video of the Richard Dunne faceplant earlier? Well, after smashing his face on a metal grid at the edge of the pitch, the Republic of Ireland defender had to swap his shirt because of the blood on his jersey. Dunne was fixed up with a spare shirt, but the referee took [...]


Video: Richard Dunne faceplant (Russia v Republic of Ireland)

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Ouch! Doubters have always said that plastic pitches are dangerous but probably not for this reason. Republic of Ireland defender Richard Dunne managed a massive faceplant on a metal grid surrounding the pitch. The Aston Villa man made a sliding tackle on Russia's Yuri Zhirkov, but ended up smacking his face on the drainage [.

Video: Linesman tries to take sneaky pre-match photo of Lionel Messi

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Lionel Messi-mania hit the Indian sub-continent last week as Argentina visited the region. And it turned out that not even match officials were immune to its effects. This cheeky linesman tried to snap a pre-match photo of the Barcelona star ahead of the friendly with Venezuela. We're still not sure whether he's offering the camera [.

Video: Watford striker Marvin Sordell’s wonderstrike (England U21 4-1 Israel U21)

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Marv-ellous effort Watford youngster Marvin Sordell scored the pick of the goals as England Under 21s coasted to a 4-1 friendly win over Israel Under 21s. The 20-year-old blasted in a left-footed effort from 30 yards out. The young Three Lions donned the new England away kit for their trip to the Democratic Republic of [.

Steed Malbranque has not retired over fictional cancer sufferer son

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When footballers get fake kids with terminal illnesses Former Sunderland player Steed Malbranque has quashed suggestions that he has quit football to care for his son who has been diagnosed with cancer... because he doesn't have a son, let alone a son with cancer. Reports widely carried in the media last weekend suggested the Frenchman [.

Steed Malbranque has not retired over fictional cancer sufferer son

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When footballers get fake kids with terminal illnesses Former Sunderland player Steed Malbranque has quashed suggestions that he has quit football to care for his son who has been diagnosed with cancer... because he doesn't have a son, let alone a son with cancer. Reports widely carried in the media last weekend suggested the Frenchman [.

Arsenal star Robin Van Persie and ex-skipper Cesc Fabregas battle it out on Red or Black

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Robin or Cesc Arsenal supporters are probably happy to settle for small victories at the moment, so here is one for them. Striker Robin Van Persie and recently departed captain Cesc Fabregas were pitted against each other in last night's episode of new ITV gameshow Red or Black. And it was current player Van Persie [.

Mario Balotelli caught using his iPad on Italy subs’ bench

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iSub Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli risked the wrath of Italy coach Cesare Prandelli after being caught playing with his iPad on the substitutes' bench for their match against the Faroe Island. Balotelli, a dab hand at benchwarming so far this season, decided to shun watching his team-mates in action in favour of some action [.

Blackburn defender Michel Salgado admits Venky’s chicken turns his stomach

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Rovers are revolting You will recall we brought you footage of Blackburn's hilarious advert to flog chicken for their owners Venky's in July. Along with everyone else we had lots of fun with the fowl as in chicken/foul as in poor tackle pun. But now Rovers defender Michel Salgado has confirmed that the food genuinely [.

Watch England training live. NOW

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Top five conclusions: Bulgaria 0-3 England

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szólj hozzá: Bul Ing 0-3 1. Wayne Rooney's new magic fringe continues to work wonders. We were just hoping he was going to kneel down to nod in his second goal. 2. Fabio Capello might have just settled the Lampard/Gerrard conundrum once and for all. 3. It is desperately sad that in the 21st [...]


Now Swindon boss Paolo Di Canio is wrestled to the ground by his players

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More Paolo action Paolo Di Canio has been scrapping with his players again but this time it was all fun and games. Following his scrap with striker Leon Clarke last week, Di Canio was flattened by Matt Ritchie on Saturday. The Robins managed a 3-2 victory over Rotherham, but it turned out Di Canio [.

Now Swindon boss Paolo Di Canio is wrestled to the ground by his players

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More Paolo action Paolo Di Canio has been scrapping with his players again but this time it was all fun and games. Following his scrap with striker Leon Clarke last week, Di Canio was flattened by Matt Ritchie on Saturday. The Robins managed a 3-2 victory over Rotherham, but it turned out Di Canio [.

Newcastle owner Mike Ashley does The Full Monty

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Be afraid Chris Hughton might testify that Mike Ashley is not a great bloke to work for, but his Sports Direct employees see a whole different side to the Newcastle owner. Ashley and his staff stripped during a colleague's birthday bash after the DJ foolishly played You Can Leave Your Hat On by Tom Jones.

Aston Villa midfielder in shock canonisation

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Holy inappropriate Following in the footsteps of the first ever footballer to be canonised, Ian St. John, it appears that the church has decided that Stiliyan Petrov deserves to be sainted. It remains to be seen whether the same honour will be bestowed on all Aston Villa players who played under Gerard Houllier and avoided [.

We forgot how much we missed Owen Hargreaves and his crazy accent

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It seems that four years in the Manchester United physio's room has curtailed Owen Hargreaves' inner Canadian. But his German side is still very much there. In his first interview with new club Manchester City's media team, Hargreaves comes in for some interesting grilling. The interviewer starts by basically asking the same question three times, [.

Juventus buy a new team

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Juve been busy The Old Lady of Italian football has not been quietly knitting during the recently closed transfer window. Manager Antonio Conte's wheeling and dealing amounted to a staggering 14 players coming to Turin, while five went out the door. In: Reto Ziegler (Sampdoria, free), Alessandro Matri (Cagliari, €15.

OTP Podcast Stoppage Time: Episode 4

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What if Bert and Ernie loved soccer? Due to circumstances beyond all common explanation, this week's show comes live and direct from pod member Alex's bedroom. Also notable is the return of Ben to hosting duties after his much vaunted spell moonlighting as Robbie Keane at the LA Galaxy. You might just be able to [.

Kitman: Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal move ruins Kai Rooney’s Everton kit

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Once a blue, always a blue Wayne Rooney is likely to be left out of pocket by Mikel Arteta's transfer deadline day switch from Everton to Arsenal. Rooney's wife Coleen yesterday revealed that their son Kai had Arteta's name and number on the back of his personalised Everton kit. She tweeted: "Arh Kai has got [.

Video: England U21 6-0 Azerbaijan U21 (with overhead kick from Arsenal’s Henri Lansbury, curler from Liverpool’s Jordan Henderson and screamer from Leiceste

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Easy win for Under 21s England Under 21s secured a comfortable start to their European Under-21 Championship qualifying campaign with a 6-0 win over Azerbaijan at Vicarage Road. There were three standout goals from the young Three Lions. Arsenal midfielder Henri Lansbury, newly loaned out to West Ham, scored a nice overhead kick; Jordan Henderson [.

New Everton signing Denis Stracqualursi is pleased to be there. Honest

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Say cheese No, seriously, he is. Just do a quick Google Images search for him and you will find that this is actually his happy face. Those eyes are demanding we stick £50 on a debut red card for the mysterious Argentine loan signing. The striker has such a long name that you can nearly [...]


Now the season really starts

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So the transfer window has closed. The gossip columns will be considerably thinner for a few months, the final touches can be put to fantasy football teams, and we can look forward to the Sky Sports News presenters being rendered breathless by stunning goals on a Saturday afternoon during Soccer Saturday (available to digital tv [.

Former Portsmouth and Walsall striker Paul Hall ventures into the music industry

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Reggae Boyz That's right, the latest footballer to dabble with life as a musician is former ex-lower league journeyman Paul Hall. The striker, who probably enjoyed he best stint with Portsmouth during the mid-1990s, is now a fully paid up member of smooth hip-hop group SKO. Enjoy their video for the track Senorita in the [.

Video: The crazy bald Arsenal fan from Sky Sports News

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Since in order involved in the festivities you have to meet the requirements of having nothing better to do with your time than spend a night stood with a camera crew desperately padding out a live television stream, perhaps it is no surprise that the motley crews assembled around Sky Sports News reporters on transfer [.

Top 10 transfer deadline day conclusions

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1. If you squint, there isn't too much of a difference between Cesc Fabregas and Mikel Arteta. Perhaps Arsene Wenger took the demands for a new Fabregas a bit too literally. 2. After careful consideration, Arsenal fans are probably the biggest bunch of Sky Sports camera transfer deadline day morons, narrowly pipping Liverpool.