SoccerBlogs

Uncanny Have you ever heard of Hildegarde Naughton? Nope, us neither. But that doesn't mean we cannot appreciate the beauty of this lookalike. Apparently, she is a Fine Gael politician in Ireland but from now on most people will simply know her as 'that politician who looks like Fernando Torres'. Spotted on @Doyler9

Sterling work Raheem Stirling scored for England Under 17 as they beat Argentina to progress to the quarter-finals of the Under 17 World Cup. The Liverpool youngster bagged England's only goal in a 1-1 draw, before the Three Lions won on penalties (shocking, we know). Stirling cut in from the left and fired in a [.

It's the Prem ball for next season The ball that David De Gea will try not to let wreck his career has been launched. The new Manchester United keeper and his fellow Premier League custodians will be facing the Nike Seitiro next season. The ball will make its debut at next month's Copa America tournament, [.

Very fetching Fulham are taking a bit of a whipping on OTP today. Apologies, Cottagers it's just one of those days. The Craven Cottage side have started selling Fulham-branded Michael Jackson & Mohamed Al Fayed t-shirts on their official shop. The product description reveals: "This cotton tee depicts an image of The Chairman and [.

Seconds (kit) out England are ditching their recent run of red away kits in favour a navy blue effort. The new Umbro kit will be officially unveiled by boxer David Haye before his world heavyweight unification bout with Wladimir Klitschko on Saturday. OTP should be able to bring you photos of the new kit tomorrow [.

Miss fit You might have thought the home nation of Eric the Eel would be quite at ease with sporting mediocrity. But this Equatorial Guinea supporter has big plans for a future where the country really makes it's work at international sports events. At least we are guessing that's his plan. Whatever it is, he [.

Miss fit You might have thought the home nation of Eric the Eel would be quite at ease with sporting mediocrity. But this Equatorial Guinea supporter has big plans for a future where the country really makes it's work at international sports events. At least we are guessing that's his plan. Whatever it is, he [.

Tow-one, we're gonna win tow-one New Fulham manager Martin Jol is blaming bad advice from goalkeeping coach Hans Segers after his car was towed. The Dutchman received some dodgy information from his compatriot, whom he has just appointed to his Craven Cottage backroom staff, and ended up nearly losing a car full of his belongings.

They prefer the Moonwalk at Craven Cottage, Martin While writing our post on Martin Jol's car getting towed we decided to conduct the most basic of YouTube research to see if any cheeky, young scamp had got footage of the irate Dutchman racing down the street in pursuit of a low-loader. Alas, they hadn't.

Due to the constant speculation and rumors that Gael Clichy won't renew his contract and will leave this summer, OTP has decided to help out Arsene Wenger with a list of possible Clichy replacements. These suggestions and possibilities are based on how heavily they're linked to the Gunners and, of course, their ability and quality.

Old skool AVB Andre Villas-Boas might have stepped into the vacancy that has never really been filled since his mentor Jose Mourinho left Chelsea but back in his first stint at Stamford Bridge the ex-Porto boss thought people were trying to pinch his job. This humorous archive footage shows Anvilbo having a TV interview [.

Checkout time at Mexican training base Footage of the alleged prostitutes involved in the scandal that hit Mexico's national team has been released. Yesterday we told you that eight members of the squad had been suspended from the Copa America and sent home following reports that prostitutes who had been brought back to the team's [.

Soccer uniform Thanks to Dirty Tackle for spotting that the USA appear to have turned up to the Women's World Cup dressed as nurses. They obviously decided to take Sepp Blatter's advice on sexing up the women's game on board and have commissioned Nike to produce a nurse's uniform kit. Back in 2004, Blatter said: [.

Bolt from the blue The coach of North Korea's women's football team says the team lost their opening World Cup match against the USA because their players were struck by lightning during training. The Koreans slipped to a 2-0 defeat, but coach Kim Kwang-min came armed with a fantastic excuse for the loss.

A shady affair Fiorentina boss Sinisa Mihajlovic has been reunited with a special pair of sunglasses following an emotional appeal for their safe return on the club's website. The Serb's favourite shades were reportedly stolen during a press conference at the club last Thursday, June 23. The disappearance prompted an update on the Fiorentina website.

Eight of Mexico's national team players have been sent home from the squad's Copa America training camp after bringing prostitutes back to their hotel. The squad is down to 14 players after Jonathan dos Santos, Nestor Vidrio, Javier Cortes, David Cabrera, Nestor Claderon, Israel Jimenez, Jorge Hernandez and Marco Fabian were all sent backing today.

When cameramen turn upon each other The media jungle surrounding football is a bit of a Darwinian existence your humble OTP being the exception to the rule, of course. We're certainly not the fittest, but we survive nonetheless. But this video from the aftermath of Mexico's Gold Cup victory over the USA illustrates neatly [.

Paul Marion, who is the community manager for the UK Bingo site online bingo review Bingo HQ, is a regular reader of OTP and a die hard football fan. So he's put together his slightly controversial Top five Greatest Football goals of all time. 5. Roberto Carlos' rocket goal (Real Madrid vs. Barcelona) The distance, [.

Colombian? Drugs? How cliche Colombia reserve goalkeeper Yineth Varon has been provisionally banned from the Women's World Cup after testing positive for a banned substance. The 29-year-old gave the failed three days ago in Leverkusen. Her A sample tested positive for the banned substance which hasn't been named at the time of writing [.

Another political leader at No. 10 MLS champions Colorado Rapids presented President Obama with a 'OBAMA 10′ personalised shirt during a visit to the White House. The squad received a reception from Obama to mark their first MLS title. After receiving his number 10 shirt, the President commented "that's me and Messi"!

Ex-Liverpool striker Djibril Cisse took the mic in a nightclub for an emotional goodbye to the fans of Panathanaikos. The France international is expected to finalise a switch to Serie A side Lazio very shortly and, in the absence of any fixtures, seemingly decided the club was his best chance of addressing as many supporters [.

She's missed a sitter It gives OTP no pleasure to mock the women's game (well, no more pleasure than it gives us to mock the men's game), but the Women's World Cup got underway in Germany yesterday with a couple of classic pieces of ammunition to those who claim the women's game will never compete. [.

Channelling the spirit of Rob Green If the England Under 21s' European Championship campaign bore similarities to the senior squad's last international tournament opening, yesterday's opening match in the Women's World Cup was opener. England found themselves in front and in control against CONCACAF opposition before a goalkeeping howler from a speculative long-range effort caught [.

Lacking Cesc appeal Arsenal today launched the promotional material for their new blue away kit and there's not a Cesc Fabregas in sight. The Gunners seem resigned to losing their skipper and decided not to risk dating the photos and brochures for their their 125th anniversary away shirt. The club appears to touting the [.

A football team representing Great Britain at the 2012 London Olympics: a one-off concept that should have been fun, novel and exciting has withered into disdain and endless bickering. The ping-ponging of arguments from one FA to another is at fever-pitch at the moment and looks settle to rumble on like an uncooked curry in [.

Ivory Coasting to the Golden Boot The U17 World Cup is a great tournament for the football obsessive. Previous Player of the Tournament awards have been awarded to Cesc Fabregas and Anderson, and so the late night viewing provides an opportunity to scout out the next big thing. Players from Brazil, Germany and England were [.

We trawl through a lot of football videos here at OTP, but when you spot one entitled Emile Heskey vs Neymar it tends to stand out from the crowd. And so we are featuring it purely on the grounds of randomness. Is it a post-modern statement on the hype surround young footballers in the YouTube [...]

Czech Republic Under 21 player Jan Lecjaks ended the European Under 21 Championships with a broken arm for his troubles as his side lost the third-place play-off against Belarus. Belarus grabbed a late goal to see-off the Czechs, who had been one of the favourites to win the tournament. But Lecjaks was already off the [.

Cry me a River Fans of Argentina's River Plate rioted as their club was relegated for the first time in its 110-year history. Police had to hose the crowd down with water cannons as they vented their anger following defeat in the play-off against relative minnows Belgrano de Cordoba. River needed to win the second [.

szólj hozzá: Switzerland 0-2 Spain As if to prove by just how far they are the dominant force in world football at the moment, and to show how much better they were than any other team in the tournament, Spain decided to clinch the European Under 21 Championship by beating Switzerland goalkeeper Yann Sommer [.

Well, kind of Among the more bizarre moments of this weekend's Glastonbury festival, nay of any Glastonbury festival, was Wayne Rooney's ugly mug being beamed onto the pyramid as part of the video accompanied Beyonce's performance of Halo. While the superstar singer belted out her hit, the Manchester United striker loomed large behind her.

Shop your star Flamengo have created a telephone hotline for disgruntled fans to report sightings of Ronaldinho partying. The club wants supporters to dish the dirt if they see their wayward star out on the town. So they have set-up the brilliantly named 'Disque-Dentuço' (Dial-Toothy) telephone line to monitor the player's party habits.

What the FA Cup's all about: free trips to Vegas! Leyton Orient chairman Barry Hearn has honoured a promise made in the wake of his side's shock 1-1 FA Cup draw with Arsenal and whisked the squad away to Las Vegas. Hearn had vowed to treat the players to the trip if they held the [...]

When is diving not simulation? A double whammy for you here. Not only can you enjoy a magnificent goalkeeping howler from New York Red Bulls goalkeeper Greg Sutton, you can then take in a truly inventive celebration from goalscorer Roger Levesque. The striker perches on the pitchside advertising hoardings before holding his nose and launching [.

New online game Soccer Knockout allows you to wade-in on the, erm, friendly rivalry between Mexico and the USA as the two nations prepare to slog it out at the Gold Cup. CONCACAF's big two meet in the final tomorrow evening, but in case any Mexican fans find themselves with a little excess aggression between [.

Garbled managerial announcement Inter Milan have appointed Gian Piero Gasperini as their new manager. Well, they've tried to. The headline of the official statement on their website announcing this key decision is: Moratti: "Gasperini, fully satisfied" We thought it was the other Milan side's hierarchy who were up to those sort of tricks.

Spooky tennis The Daily Telegraph's celebrity spotting team at Wimbledon have done a cracking job: they managed to spot deceased football legend Sir Bobby Robson. The ex-England, Barcelona and Newcastle manager sadly passed away in 2009, and yet was featured in the Telegraph's Wimbledon 2011: celebrity spectators in pictures feature.

Or is that Twerry? Earlier this week we told you how Yeovil Town manager Terry Skiverton had setup a Twitter scouting network to help him find new players. His team of online scouts has already paid dividends with the Glovers completing their first "twansfer". Former Everton youngster Kieran Agard was snapped up on a free [.

RIP Dennis Costa Rica defender Dennis Marshall has been killed in a car crash just days after scoring for his country in a Gold Cup match. The 25-year-old and his wife both died after their car was in a head-on collision with a truck near the Costa Rican capital San Jose as they made their [...]

Dressing room for dressing; pitch for playing We're not sure whether coming on as a substitute for Brazil's under 17 team in their match against Australia last night came as a bit of a surprise to Nathan, or whether he is just a forgetful person by nature. Either way, it seems the youngster is still [.

Hooli-gran A great-grandmother who invaded the pitch during Leeds United's end-of-season celebrations has been banned from Elland Road for 12 months. Margaret Musgrave, aged 63, ignored repeated announcements for fans to stay of the pitch and ran onto the playing surface as the Leeds squad completed their lap of honour following a match against Burnley.

The truth willy out Hopefully you didn't miss the hilarious video OTP brought you yesterday of a player in Australia being sent-off for having his penis pierced. (If you did, it's here.) Macclesfield-born Aaron Eccleston, of Melbourne outfit Old Hill Wanderers reserves, got his marching orders after the referee discovered his genital jewellery.

Robert Green, eat your heart out England under 17s were held to a draw against Canada after a late freak strike from goalkeeper Quillan Roberts. The goalie struck from his own-half after an awkward bounce beat England goalkeeper Jordan Pickford, of Sunderland. The match finished 2-2 after Roberts' 86th minute equaliser.

Refereeing cock-up We have covered some weird and wonderful stories on Off The Post over the years, but this might just be the weirdest yet. Macclesfield-born Aaron Eccleston, of Melbourne side Old Hill Wanderers reserves, was red-carded at the weekend for having his penis pierced. Little Aaron's bling was deemed so offensive that the referee [.

Little Pea While Aaron Eccleston was proving how your crotch can get you into trouble on a football pitch, Javier Hernandez was using his penis to good effect for his side. The Manchester United striker scored this groin goal to secure an extra-time Gold Cup win for Mexico over Honduras. Not quite the spectacular finishes [.

Full-time: time for kick-off Remember the moral outrage that Barcelona and (predominantly) Real Madrid reduced the semi-final of Europe's premier club competition to a game of handbags and theatrics? Well, things are done a bit differently in South America. The second-leg of the Champions League-equivalent Copa Liberadores final took place yesterday between Santos and Penarol.

Unique, you say? What have you got planned for the day ahead? Pint-sized Brazilian star Robinho is heading over to his lawyer's office to see if his trademark has been breached by either Santos wonderkid Neymar or Sports Illustrated.

Gymnastic geriatric Over-exuberant manager celebrations are nothing new in football, but they are rarely quite as energetic as this and on the odd occasions that they are they are not usually performed by managers who are pushing 70. But Dimitri Davidovic, the 67-year-old Belgian coach of Saudi side Al-Ittihad, showed off his gymnastic [.

The X Factor Xherdan Shaqiri proved he is a graduate of the Jose Mourinho School of Media Training with an entertaining interview ahead of tonight's European Under 21 Championship semi-final against the Czech Republic. The modest prodigy outed himself as football's new Special One. The FC Basel player told Sky Sports: "I'm a really special [.

This is just something else. For some reason best known to themselves, Radio 5 Live decided to task Jamie Stangroom with assembling a band consisting entirely of footballers with the aim of getting their track played on Radio One. Stangroom set about assembling a Mötley Crüe of musical footballers to perform the track.

Please don't go This advert for Chilean beer company Cristal has cunningly/unintentionally pre-empted the Alexis Sanchez transfer saga. The premise of the advert is that Chile's top stars are saying goodbye to Europe to head back to South America for the Copa America. The European's are distraught to see their stars, including Sanchez, Sevilla's Gary [.

Footy fashion FAIL Having spent time living in Spain, I can confirm that our friends on the Iberian Peninsula do have a strange penchant for interesting, often nonsensical, English slogan t-shirts. It seems that even the country's football elite is not immune. Take David Villa and his 'Master in Sex Education' t-shirt, for instance.

Anvilbo arrives Andre Villas-Boas has signed a three-year contract to become Chelsea's new manager, the club has confirmed. The 33-year-old quit his job at Porto yesterday before heading to London for talks with the Blues. A deal has now been agreed and the Portuguese tactician will take-up his new post straight away.

Rubbish assailant Using the most rudimentary evidence at your disposal in this video you will able to deduce that the well-built pitch invader intent on taking a swing at the referee is not only slower than the aforementioned match official, but also slower than the stadium security. The intruder is sold a neat dummy by [.

Skiver scouts Yeovil Town manager Terry Skiverton reckons social networking site can be used for good in football, and not just to get players into trouble. The cash-strapped Glovers' boss has revealed he has launched a Twitter scouting network since he cannot afford to employ real-life scouts. The 35-year-old is inviting his Yeovil-supporting Twitter followers [.

Words 'Carroll', 'Downing' and 'Bar' in same sentence and not a Jägerbomb in sight A photograph of Aston Villa winger Stewart Downing holding a Liverpool scarf is a fake, the club has claimed. A Villa spokesman said Downing shown holding the scarf in a Spanish bar with Reds striker Andy Carroll had [.

Anvilbo heads for the Bridge Porto coach Andre Villas-Boas has resigned from his post ahead of his move to Chelsea. The Blues have agreed to trigger the £13.2m release clause in his contract at the Portuguese club, but Porto claim they have not yet received an official financial offer. The 33-year-old is now reported to [.

Mod-elling career Spurs have given an indication of their plans to keep Luka Modric at the club by getting him to model their new kits. The Croatian recently the subject of a £22 million bid from Chelsea features prominently in the club's kit launch photos. Modric is pictured alongside Gareth Bale and Rafael [.

It's all black and white at Barca Barcelona appear to be living by the phrase 'look after the cents and the Euros will look after themselves' after club president Sandro Rosell boasted about the money that he has saved by banning colour photocopying at the Camp Nou. Any bid for Cesc Fabregas this summer could [.

Red rag to a Red Bull Violent conduct just got a lot less violent. New York Red Bulls striker Thierry Henry was sent-off against Portland Timbers for the sort of friendly slap that has accompanied just about every foul that's ever been committed in the history of football. In a bit of a squabble with [.

Meanwhile, at FIFA HQ... Coin Soccer from ZBalge on Vimeo. As if we didn't know the game was all about money these days. It appears some African boys play out their dreams with a coin on this remarkable Subbuteo-like table made from wood and nails. For what is a pretty crude piece of kit, it [...]

Chelsea fans have sampled the Special One, now it looks like they will get to see how the self-proclaimed 'Shit One' measures up as their manager. The Blues are reportedly close to appointing Porto manager Andre Villas-Boas as their new boss. The 33-year-old is Jose Mourinho's protege having worked for the Special One at Chelsea, [.

England fans left disheartened by the Under 21s crashing out of the European Championships last night were given the perfect remedy almost immediately as the Under 17 side kicked off their Under 17 World Cup campaign in Mexico. The young Lions managed a 2-0 victory over Rwanda in their opening match.

Use your head OTP would like to award 10 out of 10 for ingenuity, and two out of 10 for usefulness. This footage seemingly comes from China, although it is not clear which teams are playing. One side reworks the dummied free-kick with a Norman Wisdom twist. The player deliberately trips himself in the run-up, [.

Intimidation They have tried playing nicely and Tottenham still couldn't convince Croatian playmaker Luka Modric to stay at the club. So now they are going all-out to intimidate the wantaway midfielder to stay at White Hart Lane, led by manager Harry Redknapp. Either that or 'Arry's had enough and has told exactly where to go [.

Hender horror vid Liverpool's new signing Jordan Henderson played like a £20 million player in tonight's match as England Under 21s crashed out of the European Championships against the Czech Republic Under 21s. At least he played as if he had as much time on the ball as £20 million players tend to get and [.

1. An abject result and an early exit from the tournament, but they managed do it such a way that they got our hopes up first: these boys are ready for the step-up to the senior squad. 2. Best performance of the night was Frankie Fielding his singing, not his goalkeeping. He belted his [...]

What is that? Switzerland cruised to a 3-0 win against Belarus despite their opponents' diversionary tactics. Belarus captain Mikhail Sivakov tried to put the Swiss side off their stride by showing them his third nipple. Despite their obvious intrigue and fear, Switzerland managed to put the sight out of mind on continue on their way [.

OD after Rooney abuse The hooker at the centre of Wayne Rooney's most recent sex scandal has revealed she tried to kill herself last week because of the abuse she receives from strangers. Jenny Thompson overdosed on pills after being pushed to breaking point by a torrent of insults, eventually being understandably tipped over the [.

szólj hozzá: Iceland 3-1 Denmark 1. Switzerland are still looking like the real deal. Three wins from three and looking formidable on their way into the semi-finals. 2. Iceland coach Eyjólfur Sverrisson is our new hero of the tournament. He turned up for the second half with a cardboard cup, sipping at his coffee.

Off the woodwork, into the Steele England managed to take time out from their preparations for tomorrow's European Under 21 Championship crunch match against the Czech Republic to put together a credible entry for You've Been Framed. The squad's shooting practice was just drawing to a close when Fabrice Muamba fired one last effort towards [.

World-beaters England Under 21s proved they can can play like world-beaters... on the training ground. The young Three Lions, outplayed by Spain's skillful passing game in their opener and unable to find the net against Ukraine in their second match, pinged the ball about with ease during a two-touch match in training.

Spurs youngster big in Spain While we were all left drooling at consummate ease with which Spain under 21s popped the ball around against their English counterparts, the Spanish media did manage to spot something they envied in the opposition ranks: Kyle Walker. The Tottenham full-back was undoubtedly England's best player on the night and [.

It's competition time Franz Beckenbauer's are big boots to fill, but you can give it your best shot thanks to our new competition. Do you want to play like Der Kaiser? Beckenbauer knew exactly how to control a match, and OTP has teamed up with adidas to offer our readers the chance to win TWO [...]

Part-a-man Belgrade Partizan Belgrade went to extreme lengths to show onlookers that their new kit is a two-piece and not an all-in-one. Unfortunately, they could have killed someone in the process. The launch of their new kit descended into farce when the mannequin they had employed to launch the kit (most clubs opt for their [.

They've only gone and done it Aston Villa have announced that Alex McLeish has been appointed as their new manager. Despite furious protests from Villa supporters, the ex-Birmingham City manager has signed a three-year deal at Villa Park. He said: "I am honoured to have this opportunity to manage a club with such a fantastic [.

Forest present exciting overseas manager Steve McClaren is back in English football after being unveiled as the Nottingham Forest manager this morning. That's in person, at least, because in spirit he still seems to be on the Continent. Despite the fact that he is now an English manager at an English club talking to the [.

Spot the players Ah, one of the exciting moments of the season: the two teams take to the field for the final of your continent's premier club competition. Think Manchester United and Barcelona running out at Wembley. But it turns out if you wanted to see the players of Penarol and Santos emerge for their [.

Claret and Blues start to look very Blue We're beginning to wonder. Not only is ex-Birmingham manager Alex McLeish on the verge of becoming Aston Villa's new manager, but he is set to bring defender Scott Dann with him. This is all getting a bit too suspicious and we can only conclude that Carson Yeung [.

1. England start an international tournament with a 1-1 draw followed by a 0-0 draw: deja vu. 2. It looks Sir Alex Ferguson has got the right man for the job. David De Gea pulled off a world class save for Spain against the Czech Republic. 3. On the evidence of last night and the [...]

Putting the green in Forest Green Muck-spreading in football is usually confined to the latest outbursts from Ryan Giggs' nearest and dearest. But non-league outfit Forest Green Rovers are changing that by trying to create what they believe will be the first organic pitch. The Blue Square Premier side has ditched chemical fertilisers in favour [.

It pays to win We all know about cushy win bonuses for footballers, but what about the exact opposite? One Dynamo Kiev player has lifted the lid on the club's policy of docking players' wages for defeats. And even for draws! Nigeria international Yusuf Atanda Ayila claims he and his team-mates are automatically fined for [.

Like, properly mental Italian minnows Novara secured an unlikely promotion to Serie A with a play-off victory over Padova at the weekend. Reserve goalkeeper Alberto Fontana absolutely lost the plot after his side secured top-flight football. The shock result seemed to go straight to his head. Firstly, he stood on top of the dugout to [.

OTP ponders the possible courses of action as the Premier League's gaffers find an unsolicited email offering them Asamoah Gyan in their inbox this morning. Arsene Wenger (Arsenal) Mark as junk Harry Redknapp (Tottenham) Attach > big brown envelope Roberto Mancini (Manchester City) Forward to thesheik@mcfc.

OTP ponders the possible courses of action as the Premier League's gaffers find an unsolicited email offering them Asamoah Gyan in their inbox this morning. Arsene Wenger (Arsenal) Mark as junk Harry Redknapp (Tottenham) Attach > big brown envelope Roberto Mancini (Manchester City) Forward to thesheik@mcfc.

Fox in the inbox Sunderland have alerted several of their Premier League rivals that striker Asamoah Gyan is available for transfer by sending round an email inviting inquiries. The Ghanaian star was the surprise inclusion in a 'for sale' list sent to top-flight sides by an agent representing the Black Cats.

1. Switzerland don't waste any time. Their first-minute goal against Iceland won them the match the Icelandic heads immediately dropped. 2. Xherdan Shaqiri might have to be fitted with a horse racing-style handicap for the semi-finals. He looks a cut above so far. 3. It is a good job Christian Eriksen's poor penalty bounced [.

Another MLS wondergoal Sporting Kansas City player Graham Zusi scored an incredible 40-yard free-kick against FC Dallas, albeit he was greatly assisted with some interested positioning from keeper Kevin Hartman. With Hartman preparing for a chipped ball to the edge of the penalty area, Zusi sent his free-kick sailing over the helpless goalie and into [.

The media Hokey Cokey, with Chile's national team Chile's media took advantage of their short-lived increase in access to their national team by snapping the squad stripping midfielder Roberto Cereceda on the training ground. New coach Claudio Borghi wanted to open up to the media more than predecessor Marcelo Bielsa and, as part of that [.

And he's cheaper than Bebe Scottish League Two side Stirling Albion have signed a member of the Scotland Homeless World Cup on a one-year deal. The club snapped up full-back Sean Lawrence (pictured, bottom left) after he impressed in a trial on 4 June. He was one of more than 30 trialists who attended the [.

It's Chech-out time Ruud Gullit looks like he's earned his flight home from Chechnya (assuming that's how they deal with sacked managers) after his Terek Grozny slipped to defeat in their crunch match against Perm. OTP told you earlier that Terek's press team had gone public with a win or you're sacked warning to Gullit.

Another one bites the dust He may dribble like Bambi and look about as menacing as a mildly frustrated Michael Owen, but you are just being lulled into a false sense of security. Do not be fooled by the Soccer Sniper's exterior: it hides a cold-blooded killer. Nobody is safe.

Throwing it down the Pan-enka There is a time and place for the cocky Penanka penalty. The deciding penalty in a promotion-deciding shootout is probably not the right time or place. That's the lesson Armin Hobel, captain of Austrian side Wattens, has learnt the hard way. His side were taking on Blau-Weiss Linz in a [.

No domestic football you say? Pah An odd summer often means little to chuck away your cider on, but with the transfer window hotting up early and some international tournaments of note, we provide you with some tempters to sink your teeth into. A £100 pot, judge the winnings at tend of August: 10. Guud [.

Doff your Whitecaps We're a bit late to the party with this one, but in case you've missed it here's the stunning goal scored by Vancouver Whitecaps' Eric Hassli in their match against Seattle Sounders last weekend. Last time we featured Hassli on OTP he was getting sent-off for removing his shirt to reveal an [.

Ruud awakening Ruud Gullit has been told to win his next game in charge of Chechen side Terek Grozny of face the chop. The ultimatum was issued in a press statement on the club's official website, which outlined that the club were not happy with Gullit's management, his party lifestyle and his general failure to [.

He's still got it Brazilian star Ronaldinho proved that his skill has not deserted him with this incredible piece of pre-match 'motivation' for his Flamengo team-mates. Ronny is happily doing keepy-uppies by himself, but a team-mate continues to lurk on his shoulder hoping for a touch of the ball. The 31-year-old pelts the ball into [.

Tis the season to hear bullsh*t The transfer window is again upon us. To the non-connoisseurs out there, this means that you will have two and a half months with pretty much nothing happening other than tabloid paper talk equating to guesswork. There will then be a period of two weeks where the whole of [.

An audience with Wayne and his new hairline Manchester United star Wayne Rooney has been entertaining fellow holidaymakers at the exclusive Barbados resort where he is currently staying by taking the mic for a karaoke sing-song. Wazza managed to shake-off Andy Carroll and Gary McAllister long enough to lead the crowd in renditions of Yesterday [.

Asian tour promo bloopers Arsenal have attempted to drum-up interest in their forthcoming tour of Asia by recording some messages in the languages of the places they will be visiting. A nice idea in theory, but trickier to execute given the lack of Chinese and Malaysian speakers in the Gunners' first-team squad.

My first ever Forest post! I shall say the phrase only once: the Wally with the Brolly. It was epitome of our sensationalist tabloid shitstorm that a phrase invented by Andy Townsend's wife was now the verbum significatum of the national religion: football. Steve McClaren was not treated like a failure, a man who had [.

Top corner own goal If it wasn't for the fact that the player crossing the ball is wearing red and the player scoring the goal is in white you would have thought this was just a very good goal. It comes from the match between Brazilian sides Palmeiras and Internacional. Marcio Araujo plays for Palmeiras, [.

RVP, not VIP Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie has hit out at the party lifestyles of some of England's top players, claiming it is damaging their careers. The Dutch international reckons some Premier League stars are left with no choice but to hang up their boots because they can no longer keep up with the [.

I like your, how you say, Robin Hood? Ex-England manager Steve McClaren has agreed a three-year deal to become Nottingham Forest's new manager. Despite speculation consistently linking him with Premier League posts, the former Middlesbrough boss has taken up the opportunity of a role in the Championship.

Fergie, sign him up! Never mind David De Gea, there is only one goalkeeper in world football currently evoking memories of Manchester United goalkeeping legends of the past and that's Awidah Al Amry of Saudi Arabia's Al-Faisaly. The hapless goalie let a speculative long-range effort wriggle between his legs during a King's Cup game against [.

1. A handball goal for Spain and an offside goal for England: sometimes football does even itself out. 2. And sometimes it doesn't. Like the possession stats, for instance. Spain were totally dominant. 3. The likes of Javi Martinez must wonder just how much they would be worth if they were moving between two English [.

Family feud Former Aston Villa striker Savo Milosevic is in mourning after his dad was killed by hi grandfather. His grandad, 83-year-old Savo Senior, shot 58-year-old Stevo Milosevic in the chest with a M-48 rifle after a dispute about property. The shooting happened at the family home in Glavicice, Bosnia-Herzegovina.

Natasha Giggs had abortion two weeks before wedding Natasha Giggs claims she terminated Ryan Giggs' unborn child just a fortnight before marrying his brother Rhodri. In the latest tabloid revelations about the Manchester United legend's private life, the News of the World reports that Giggs gave his sister-in-law £500 towards the cost of the abortion [.

Man marking Manchester City team-mates Gareth Barry and Joe Hart have been enjoying a lads holiday in Las Vegas. They have been involved in such rough-and-tumble activities as applying sun cream to each other. Eager to ensure Hart remained a Blue and didn't turn Red, Barry gladly rubbed the lotion into his team-mate's back.

szólj hozzá: Denmark 0-1 Switzerland 1. It was nice to see two of our players to watch on the scoresheet on the opening day: Andrei Voronkov scored from the spot for Belarus, while Switzerland's Xherdan Shaqiri did what England already know he's capable of to defeat the hosts. 2. It looks like we might have [.

The fix is in Wham! Several match-fixing crises right on top of each other tell us that there are still serious problems with the bona fides of the professional game. Even more disturbing is the fact that the scandals have been spread across different regions and continents. Finland Top-flight club Tampere is under investigation for [.

Beaten by the bounce Occasionally goalkeepers come unstuck against a dodgy bounce, but this goal is purely down to a monumental error in judgement by ENPPI goalkeeper Mohamed Abougabal in an Egyptian top-flight. Abougabal comes charging out underneath the bounce of the ball pumped forward by opponents Al Masri.

Limp-wristed gentleman bemuses Americans Gary Neville was given the honour of throwing the first pitch at a Chicago White Sox baseball game as he promotes Manchester United's forthcoming American tour. Unfortunately, it turns out that Nev's throwing accuracy is on par with his shooting. And his throwing action is on par with a Graham Norton [.

Nice dive for a big man Until now, Spanish hack Tomás Roncero was best known for being the cheerleader of a pro-Raul campaign that wanted Luis Aragones sacked ahead of Euro 2008 for leaving Raul out of a friendly squad. Now, he will be just as famous for his impression of Barcelona Dani Alves and, [.

Your whistle-stop guide to the latest Premier League arrivals Name: Yohan Cabaye Age: 25 Position: Midfielder Signed from: Lille Fee: £4.3m Did you know? Cabaye is one-quarter Vietnamese courtesy of his maternal grandmother.

There's a naked broadcaster in your window! Recently retired Derby midfielder Robbie Savage looked set for a career in radio, but it looks like the world of modelling could be calling. The ex-Leicester City man has turned up in the window of bookmaker William Hill wearing nought but his rather eye-catching swimshorts.

Classy guy Wigan boss Roberto Martinez has turned down a shot at the vacant Aston Villa manager's job to commit his future to Wigan. The 37-year-old had been heavily linked with the Villa Park post. But he has opted to stay with the Latics, who he narrowly avoided relegation with last season. An Aston Villa [.

Belly's not gonna get you Kolo Toure suffers from a "psychological obsession with his belly", according to an FA report on his failed drugs test. The Manchester City defender is currently serving a six-month ban after testing positive for a prohibited substance found in weight-loss water tablets. The FA report reads: "The context is that [.

Drug tests decimate Gold Cup squad Mexico's national team has been plunged into crisis after five players tested positive for a banned substance. The players involved are goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa, defenders Francisco Rodriguez and Edgar Duenas and midfielders Antonio Naelson 'Sinha' and Christian Bermudez.

Out of the doghouse Don't you love a happy ending, OTP fans? Sacked Doncaster mascot Donny Dog has been reinstated by the club. Tracy Chandler, aged 40, was yesterday fired from her voluntary position for posing in a lingerie photoshoot alongside the head of her mascot alter ego (file under 'sentences you never though you'd [.

North London Diaby Abou Diaby has risked putting himself in the bad books of the Arsenal faithful by freely confessing to knocking around the house in a Spurs shirt. The 25-year-old said he received the shirt as a gift from friend and Tottenham defender Younes Kaboul, and regularly wore it in the comfort of his [.

Because it's the only football on TV at the time It is difficult to overstate just how strong the competition will be in Denmark over the next fortnight. Belarus are the outsiders at 25/1 to win the tournament, and yet even they beat Italy 3-0 in the second leg of their playoff to qualify. England, [.

International friendly bone cruncher Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will be the first to tell you that Robin Van Persie doesn't need any help to pick up injuries. But while Wenger is famed for not seeing incidents, last night it was the referee and his assistants who somehow managed to miss a ridiculous tackle on Van [.

A Scouser, a Geordie and a Scotsman go to the beach... It's not uncommon for a few of football's bachelors to hit Las Vegas, Miami or (back in the day) Ayia Napa together during the close season. But OTP can't pretend we expected to see Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney, Liverpool striker Andy Carroll and [.

Hounded out Doncaster Rovers have sacked their mascot after she posed in a raunchy photoshoot alongside the mascot's head. Tracy Chandler, aged 40, has been relieved of her voluntary duties as Donny Dog following the underwear shoot. Mrs Chandler received an email telling her she had been fired. She said: "It just said that they [.

Bizarre end to shootout We would be featured this penalty shootout mishap regardless of the circumstances but, just to clarify, there was a promotion resting an this spot-kick. The match is between Dro and Tremeno, and a place in Italian football's sixth-tier is at stake. Tremono's Michael Palma steps up and smacks his penalty against [.

Pep talk for Liverpool fans Liverpool fans might have got frustrated at the time by Rafa Benitez's love of signing 16 and 17-year-old kids, but his policy will pay dividends in the long-term. That's according to Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola. The Champions League-winning coach reckons the Reds' Academy could soon rival Barca's own production line.

More bad banner behaviour Serbia supporters in Australia are the latest to put noses out of joint by unveiling banners in support of alleged Serb war criminal Ratko Mladic. At last weekend's Euro 2012 qualifiers, Romania fans wound up their Bosnian counterparts with a Free Mladic sign that could yet have ramifications for the Romania [.

Giggs gets animated again The animated dramatisation of Ryan Giggs' alleged affair with Big Brother star Imogen Thomas proved to be a big hit. So much so that the Taiwanese animation company behind the video have now produced a follow-up in response to the latest revelations about the Manchester United legend's private life.

You wanna live like common people England are hoping to stay in a Holiday Inn for Euro 2012 assuming they actually manage to qualify for the tournament. FA bosses have got their eyes on the 148-room Holiday Inn in Warsaw's Jozefow district. The tournament is being jointly hosted by Poland and Ukraine, but the [.

Tick, tick, tick... BOOM! Best Of 2010/2011 by Off The Post on Mixcloud As we come to the end of a long, hard season, the OTP podcast team is feeling a little tired – just like the England squad. So instead of turning in a lacklustre display of fatigued audio, we've decided to cobble together [...]

Tick, tick, tick... BOOM! Best Of 2010/2011 by Off The Post on Mixcloud As we come to the end of a long, hard season, the OTP podcast team is feeling a little tired – just like the England squad. So instead of turning in a lacklustre display of fatigued audio, we've decided to cobble together [...]

Mamma mia We always assumed that if Keith Andrews slammed a 25-yard piledriver past Gianluigi Buffon, the universe would implode. But it would appear that isn't the case. The Blackburn midfielder opened the scoring for the Republic of Ireland as they secured a surprise 2-0 victory over coach Giovannio Trapattoni's native Italy.

Mamma mia We always assumed that if Keith Andrews slammed a 25-yard piledriver past Gianluigi Buffon, the universe would implode. But it would appear that isn't the case. The Blackburn midfielder opened the scoring for the Republic of Ireland as they secured a surprise 2-0 victory over coach Giovannio Trapattoni's native Italy.

The Daily Mirror's chief sports writer Oliver Holt claims Rio Ferdinand sent him a direct message on Twitter calling him a "fat prick" in a row over the ex-England skipper's drugs ban. Holt reckons the message was in response to a Twitter argument he was having with Manchester United fans who felt Kolo Toure's six-month [.

Your not in goal now, Dempsey! If this had found the net it would be featured in every YouTube football compilation from now until the end of time. Alas, it didn't and we will all have forgotten about it by this time tomorrow. Still worth a watch though. Finding himself ahead of the ball at [...]

The Kop Hend Sunderland have agreed to sell highly-rated midfielder Jordan Henderson to Liverpool for a fee in the region of £20m. The Reds had been bartering with the Black Cats for a few days over the England international. But Kenny Dalglish obviously spotted Henderson in OTP's Top 21 Players to Watch at the European [.

Carlitos engineers his exit The quotes from this interview have been knocking around for a couple of days, and now here's the interview itself. Carlos Tevez has once again enamoured himself to the people of Manchester by saying he will never return to the city, not even on holiday. Not content with being hated by [.

Just when you thought FIFA couldn't get any more bizarre Sepp Blatter has set about proving to FIFA delegates that they made the right selection when they re-elected him as president by putting together a crack ensemble to tackle corruption within the organisation. Blatter's very own A-Team includes Johan Cruyff (outspoken football legend who does [.

There are high-hopes for England's current under 21 squad as they head to the European Championship. But what have they got to live up to? 1. 1982 Star man: Justin Fashanu Notables: Mike Duxbury, Sammy Lee, Paul Goddard The England Under 21 side picked up its first major success after its formation in 1976 by [.

There are high-hopes for England's current under 21 squad as they head to the European Championship. But what have they got to live up to? 1. 1982 Star man: Justin Fashanu Notables: Mike Duxbury, Sammy Lee, Paul Goddard The England Under 21 side picked up its first major success after its formation in 1976 by [.

Taylor-made for the Toon Former Newcastle United chairman Sir John Hall made building a "team of 11 Geordies" his manifesto during his reign at St James' Park. Now owner Sir Mike Ashley is following a similar dream: building a team of Taylors. The Magpies have reportedly launched a bid to sign Swansea left-back Neil Taylor, [.

Fulham have appointed ex-Spurs boss Martin Jol as their new manager. The Dutchman has signed a two-year contract at Craven Cottage. Jol said: "I am very happy to join Fulham. It is a club with good, solid foundations and a great fan base. "I am looking forward to being part of the Fulham family and [.

Managing director Recently returned Port Vale manager Micky Adams is planning to plough £50,000 of his own money into the club and become a director so he can sign players. Boardroom unrest at Vale Park has plunged the club into crisis. At an Extraordinary General Meeting last week, shareholders cast a vote of no confidence [.

Wazza's latest purchase Fresh from showing off his new hair, Manchester United star Wayne Rooney temporarily caused internet outrage after seemingly implying that he had bought a child at the airport. En-route to his holidays, Rooney tweeted: "Just bought Kai the new man utd kid from jd in airport. He will look so cute in [.

A new hair-Roo As he promised on Saturday, Wayne Rooney today posted a photo of his post transplant hair on Twitter. He said it would "take a few months to grow" and that it was "still a bit bloody", but posted the picture regardless. Rooney was on his way to the airport for his summer [...]

This incredible footage comes from Argentina's second division and the match between Independiente Rivadavia and Patronato. Independiente are denied a clear goal by a combination of the stanchion and hopeless officiating. The ball crosses the line, hits the frame at the rear of the goal and bounces out.

Tough on bad tackles, tough on the causes of bad tackles Tony Blair's former spin doctor Alastair Campbell was involved in an unlikely clash with a member of boyband The Wanted during a charity match. The 54-year-old ended up in a scuffle with singer Tom Parker, aged 22, after the teen heartthrob made a bad [.

With the European Under 21 Championships getting under way in Denmark on Saturday, OTP gives you a rundown of some of the names to watch out for. 1. Xherdan Shaqiri (Switzerland) Unlike their English counterparts, the young Swiss stars of the 2-2 draw between England and Switzerland will play in the tournament.

Revelations of Mario's mad world continue Mario Balotelli claims he is "astonished and disappointed" after discovering he was named in a police report for associating with prominent members of organised crime clans. The Manchester City striker is cited in the June 2010 report after wandering the steets of Naples' notorious Scampia district with Salvatore Silvestri, [.

Oh brother One recurring theme of the tabloid revelations about Ryan Giggs' private life has been the tendency for the advertising world to inadvertently strike blows the Manchester United star. Firstly, he was photographed next to this humorous Vodafone advert. Now, in the wake of an alleged eight-year affair with the wife of his brother [.

Dan's the man Dans are the men England under 21s secured victory in their final game before heading to the European Championships with a 2-0 win over Norway. An early goal from Chelsea's Daniel Sturridge and a nice solo effort from Tottenham's Danny Rose was enough for the Three Lions in front of 18,000 fans [.

Speeding Tractor Boys Ipswich Town player Damien Delaney has blamed former manager Roy Keane for a speeding offence he committed. The Republic of Ireland international told the court he had been forced to speed because "unreasonable" Keane would fine him thousands of pounds if he had arrived late for training.

Gigg-ity, Gigg-ity. No injunction this time Manchester United star Ryan Giggs is at the centre of new tabloid revelations today after an alleged eight-year affair with his sister-in-law. The News of the World reports that Giggs has been cheating on wife Stacey with Natasha, the 28-year-old wife of his brother Rhodri.

In an unusual display of awareness of world current affairs, Romania supporters wound up Bosnia fans with a banner in support of alleged Serbian war criminal Ratko Mladić during last night's Euro 2012 qualifier. A 'Free Mladic' banner was unfurled in the Romania support prompting angry scenes among the Bosnian following, who ripped up chairs [.

He's literally insulted him Jamie Redknapp has branded his former Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier a "wanker" on Sky panel show A League Of Their Own. The former Reds skipper regaled the audience with a tale from his side's famous 2-1 FA Cup victory over Arsenal, when a Michael Owen brace dramatically turned the match in [.

Luis hits the bottle It turns out that overpaid footballers still aren't paid enough. Luis Figo is now starring in an advert for men's hairdye Just For Men. The former Portuguese star's jet black locks might not be as natural as you thought. He is the new face of the grey hair hider, famed for [...]

#hairwego Wayne Rooney has confirmed he has undergone hair transplant treatment after being spotted leaving a clinic. The Manchester United striker was photographed outside the Harley Street Hair Clinic on Thursday, wearing a hoodie and a baseball cap to cover his bruised bonce. He 'fessed up on Twitter today after tabloid newspapers picked up on [.

1. Some of the England players had already been on holiday. Most of them were there metaphorically. 2. It's so depressing that yet again England have to revert to 4-4-2 just to compete with average opposition. 3. It was a day for reenactments. Jack Wilshere displayed some Paul Scholes-style tackling, Darren Bent did his best [.

Hughpocrite Some of Mark Hughes' former players might have raised their eyebrows at the ease with which their ex-boss quit Fulham this week. Hughes resigned from Craven Cottage and is now widely tipped to take up a new position at a 'bigger' Premier League club. His matter-of-fact departure to further his career could have the [.

OTP takes on the role of a fictional newly promoted Premier League manager, desperately trying to assemble a team from everyone else's dregs. It's based on players who have already left their club or have been told they are leaving. 1. Marcus Hahnemann Ousted by Wayne Hennessey of late, but he's always been a decent [.

OTP takes on the role of a fictional newly promoted Premier League manager, desperately trying to assemble a team from everyone else's dregs. It's based on players who have already left their club or have been told they are leaving. 1. Marcus Hahnemann Ousted by Wayne Hennessey of late, but he's always been a decent [.

Could have been Messi Lionel Messi has escaped unscathed after an attempted attack on him. The Barcelona star was posing for photos outside a restaurant in his hometown of Rosario, Argentina, when a hooded youth attempted to punch him. The attacker didn't land his punch and Messi later played down the incident.

Grown men issued with cartoons to help tackle self-esteem issues Every footballer in England's top four divisions will receive a new guidebook to help them address mental health issues. The book has been put together by the PFA with the aim of helping players suffering from panic, anxiety, depression or other mental health problems amid [.

"Look at the flip pass!" Meet South California's answer to Steve Watson: Brandon Buckholder. The Wando High School left-back showed off his somersault throw-in during a match against Irmo High, and to pretty good effect.

Blatt to reality Sepp Blatter has many strong attributes that OTP has long admired. But surely his finest trait is audacity. Just hours after securing his 're-election'/coronation as FIFA President, when he ought to be getting his head down and concentrating on getting his organisation clean, Blatter has taken the opportunity to hit out at [.

Nudist Mestalla There is often tabloid whispers about naked footballers having a viral effect on the public, and that's certainly the intention of this advert from Valencia. In a bid to flog their new home shirt, the Spanish side have convinced some of their star players to strip for this video. Roberto Soldado and Joaquin [.

This time it's less controversial Last time Cesc Fabregas decided to play dress-up he ended up wearing a Barcelona shirt in front of a watching audience of millions. This time around the choice of kit is more acceptable to your average Arsenal fan and Cesc has chosen the outfit of his own accord (rather than [.

Don't look directly into his eyes With the score in Monday's Championship play-off final at 3-2 to Swansea, this Reading fan clearly believed that his side could complete a remarkable turnaround. Unfortunately for him, he was wrong. And his mistaken belief caused his inner crazy to be captured by the TV cameras.

Defender's header back to keeper is too hot to handle If goalkeeper Diego Barreto, of Paraguyan side Cerro Porteno, was taking bribes you would hope he would do a better job of concealing his actions that this. That worryingly leads us to conclude that this howler must be down to human error. Somehow Barreto finds [.

Not towing the line This humorous footage comes from the MLS clash between Portland Timbers and DC United. DC have a 1-0 lead, but the Timbers are awarded a penalty. Now, after you've been watching this video for a while you won't be able to remember a time when that penalty hadn't been awarded. But [.

Baftas, Oscars, Nobel, OTPs OTP Player of the Season – Vincent Kompany At OTP we are a massive fan of the friendly Belgian. The mainstay of a defence that kept the most clean sheets in the Premier League, a man mountain, and younger than Wayne Rooney. Named in the PFA Team of the Year and [...]

Doing a Ramos Manchester United nutter Patrice Evra mocked Real Madrid's Sergio Ramos by pretending to drop the Premier League trophy from the top of an open-top bus during yesterday's victory parade. The Frenchman mimicked Ramos' Copa Del Rey mishap by dangling the trophy from the bus and pretending to drop it.

Mates with Marcel Ep.28 Wembley Walkover by Off The Post on Mixcloud It's the end of the season which can only mean one thing: it's time for the Off The Post Podcast Champions League Final Special! This week's show is already being described by critics as the audio equivalent of Michael Carrick playing against Barcelona: [.

Can I have my islands back? Remember Julio Grondona? He's the former Argentine FA boss and current FIFA suit who was recently featured on OTP when Diego Maradona implicated him in the coffee-doping scandal. Now he has implicated himself in what would have gone down in history as the biggest bribe in FIFA history.

The Sun goes for the jugular British tabloid The Sun has this morning used its renowned tact and subtlety to attempt to convey to Sepp Blatter just how unpopular he is at the moment. The FIFA President who, as far as we know, is not at present implicated in any instances of mass murder, is [...]

Pay the penalty The Ewood Park penalty spot from which Wayne Rooney converted that spot-kick that confirmed Manchester United's 19th league title victory has been put up for auction on eBay. And at the time of writing the piece of Blackburn turf is going to fetch £900, with a week still remaining on the auction.

Big Sam's West Ham West Ham have reportedly agreed to make Sam Allardyce their new manager. He is set to take control of the club when he returns from his holiday. The ex-Blackburn, Newcastle and Bolton boss is expected to sign a three-year deal with the Hammers. There has been a lot of talk about [.