Off the Post Archives for January 2011

Football Lookalikes: Jose Mourinho cheers on Manchester United against Barcelona

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Scarfake As viral marketing goes, it is not the most subtle branding but it is funny enough to deserve a smirk and some recognition here. Bookmakers Unibet sent a Manchester United scarf-wearing Jose Mourinho lookalike to Saturday's Champions League Final. You won't need to be told that the gag works on a couple of levels, [.

Video: Liverpool pranksters leave banner outside Man Utd manager Sir Alex Ferguson’s house

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Building a new perch Cheeky Liverpool fans got some revenge for the Anfield 'MUFC 19 TIMES' banner which was applauded by Sir Alex Ferguson by leaving a banner of their own outside the Manchester United manager's house. Fergie's route onto the road outside his Cheshire mansion was temporarily blockaded by a sign reminding [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 28-30 May

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It's a weekend of finals Seems that the simplest thing to do this weekend if provide four tips, one for each of the finals in England. First up is the League Two playoff between Torquay and Stevenage. Torquay only just crept into the playoffs, and then set about comfortably beating Shrewsbury, who only missed out [.

Top 10 Champions League Final conclusions: Barcelona 3-1 Manchester United

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1. Barcelona were just too good. Simple as that. 2. It turns out that getting Michael Owen to role play as David Villa in training and getting Nani to pretend to be Lionel Messi doesn't really prepare you for the real thing. 3. Ryan Giggs' lawyers have launched a cease and desist order to stop [...]


Champions League Final Photo Special: Manchester United and Barcelona preparations

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It's nearly time With kick-off now impending, Off The Post can feed your excitement with a photo special of Manchester United and Barcelona's preparations. Thanks to the kind people at Heineken, our snapper was at Wembley yesterday to catch the finishing touches being put on the stadium, as both teams trained on the pitch ahead [.

Video: Nike viral to whet your Manchester United v Barcelona appetite

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Nicholas Cage is a United player, right? Nike has rolled out some of its biggest stars for this pre-Champions League Final viral, which seems to lean quite heavily on the film Face Off. Wayne Rooney's Oscar is in the post already.


Nigel Reo-Coker gets engaged and released on the same day

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A busy 24 hours in the Twitter account of Nige It has been a strange old day for Nigel Reo-Coker. Just hours ago he proposed to his girlfriend the midfielder was told he will not be getting a new contract at Aston Villa and has been released. Reo-Coker seemingly popped the question via the medium [..

Barcelona pranksters Carlos Puyol and Gerard Pique manhandle photo of Cesc Fabregas

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Arsene Wenger lets cheeky Barcelona scamps Carlos Puyol and Gerard Pique off the leash for two seconds at Arsenal's London Colney training ground and they are rearranging the furniture. Barca are training at the Gunners' base ahead of the Champions League final. Puyol and Pique took the opportunity to remove a photo of Cesc Fabregas [.

Darren Ferguson: ‘Strange dad Sir Alex will stay away from play-off final’

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Fergie imposes his own Old Trafford ban Peterborough manager Darren Ferguson says his 'strange' dad Sir Alex Ferguson will skip his side's League One play-off final for superstitious reasons. Ferguson Jr admits that he too would have fears about the Manchester United manager jinxing him for the match, which is being held at Old Trafford.

Top five Manchester United v Barcelona moments

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Damn you, YouTube users. We can't embed some of these. 1. Rivaldo's overhead kick (1998) The highlight of two pulsating group stage 3-3 draws between the two sides in 1998. The Brazilian controls a Sergi cross on his chest before pulling off an incredible bicycle kick. Watch it. 2. Hristo Stoichkov and co.

The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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 Some fairly predictable entries this week but, to be fair, it is the biggest game of the season for all concerned. Last one for a while, so enjoy: Manchester United Winning the Premier League title in a year in which none of you competitors have displayed enough quality or quantity of performances is one [.

Tireless Ji-Sung Park is powered by frog juice

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This has got legs Ji-Sung Park has revealed the secret behind his boundless energy: frog juice. The Manchester United midfielder's father trekked from their home in Suwon to Go-heung county to buy frogs for one of the world's least-appealing protein drinks. Park and his dad were concerned that his slight frame could stop his footballing [.

Video: Manchester United in bizarre air safety video

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Red-faced Devils Who said modern footballers take themselves too seriously? If the price is right they will still happily throw themselves into embarrassing commercial situations. Having said that, if you're hoping to see Dimitar Berbatov in an air hostess uniform you will be left disappointed by this Turkish Airlines video.

Jack Wilshere – stay or play?

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Midfielder's withdrawal puts club before country On Monday it was finally announced that Jack Wilshere would not be travelling with Stuart Pearce and his Under 21 squad for the European Championships in Denmark, ending days of argument and counter-argument about his potential involvement over the summer.

Jose Mourinho wins Real Madrid power struggle, Jorge Valdano sacked

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Santiago Bernabeu Last Man Standing 2010/11 We don't know whether his relatively short odds on a return to Chelsea helped him, but Jose Mourinho has unexpectedly triumphed in the Real Madrid power struggle. The Special One's internal feud with Real's director general Jorge Valdano has come to an abrupt end with Valdano's sacking.

Aaron Lennon, Tom Huddlestone and Ashley Young fly out to Marbella to star in The Only Way Is Essex

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Spurs and Villa fans, prepare for shame Tottenham duo Aaron Lennon and Tom Huddlestone, and Aston Villa's Ashley Young, have flown to Marbella to join the cast of chronically poor reality TV show The Only Way Is Essex. The Premier League stars are set to take up supporting roles in the somehow BAFTA-winning series, along [.

Video: Helsingborgs keeper Par Hansson hit by flare then attacked by fan

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Game called off after 30 minutes A match between Sweden's Helsingborgs and Malmo had to be abandoned after goalkeeper Par Hansson was hit firstly by a flare and then by a fan. The Helsingborgs goalkeeper was struck by a flare thrown by a Malmo supporter. While he was receiving treatment, another Malmo fan invaded the [.

Mario Balotelli throws water bombs at journalists

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Super Mario strikes again Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli was excused from his side's FA Cup victory parade and end-of-season awards ceremony for "family reasons". And he took advantage of his return to Italian soil to indulge in one of his favourite hobbies: throwing things at people from height.

Top five last day dramas

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More runny than squeaky bum time Now you might have sat at home on your sofa watch the relegation zone change more than Michael Jackson under the knife, but hasn't it always been so? Surely the last day is never boring? Today we look at home and abroad to find some truly mental final day [...]


Taiwan news dramatise Ryan Giggs’ affair

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A Taiwanese news station has responded to the revealing of the Ryan Giggs super-injunction in interesting fashion, mocking up a cartoon of exactly what went on. 1. Is that really the new United shirt sponsor? 2. Why is Guy Fawkes on Twitter? 3. Did you know that Ryan Giggs allowed birds to excrement on him?

Taiwan news dramatise Ryan Giggs’ affair

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A Taiwanese news station has responded to the revealing of the Ryan Giggs super-injunction in interesting fashion, mocking up a cartoon of exactly what went on. 1. Is that really the new United shirt sponsor? 2. Why is Guy Fawkes on Twitter? 3. Did you know that Ryan Giggs allowed birds to excrement on him?

OTP Podcast: Episode 27 – Survival Sunday

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Squirting Mick Ep.27 Survival Sunday by Off The Post on Mixcloud As the 2010/11 season comes to an end, the Off The Post Podcasters have been getting a bit emotional. Paddy has turned the front of his house into a Mick McCarthy mural, Ben has had 'Farewell, Avram' shaved into his inner thigh, and Stu [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 27 – Survival Sunday

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Squirting Mick Ep.27 Survival Sunday by Off The Post on Mixcloud As the 2010/11 season comes to an end, the Off The Post Podcasters have been getting a bit emotional. Paddy has turned the front of his house into a Mick McCarthy mural, Ben has had 'Farewell, Avram' shaved into his inner thigh, and Stu [.

Football Lookalikes: Manchester United’s Class of 92 – then and now

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Advancements in hair styling 1992-2011 With Manchester United's Class of 92 FA Youth Cup-winning side (aka Fergie's Fledglings) reunited for Gary Neville's testimonial against Juventus last night, someone very wisely snapped a re-enactment of the most famous photo of them from back in the day. As you can see, Beckham was attempted to hog the [.

Video: David Beckham turns Manchester United steward at Gary Neville’s testimonial

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Beck to your seat, young man There was a great deal of excitement about David Beckham pulling on the Manchester United shirt once again as he turned out at Gary Neville's testimonial last night. But on the basis of this footage he would have been just as happy in a fluorescent orange coat. Becks put [.

Media vehicles trashed outside Ryan Giggs’ house

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Unmasked footballer defended by masked vigilantes Police are investigating vandalism to six media cars parked outside Ryan Giggs' home in Greater Manchester. A group of masked man arrived in a Ford Transit and allegedly damaged the vehicles. Six cars were damaged in total, including slashed tyres, kicked-in bodywork and a healthy covering of flour and [.

Video: Sir Alex Ferguson bans journalist for asking questions about Ryan Giggs

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You're barred Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson appears to have banned a journalist from his pre-Champions League final press conference for asking questions about Ryan Giggs. Fergie was caught on microphone having a mildly cryptic discussion with press officer Karen Shotbolt in which he seems to imply that a journalist who asked him a [.

Kitman: New Manchester United home kit a load of rubbish

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Red Devils bottle it ahead of Champions League final Manchester United's new kit has been launched today and it's officially absolute rubbish. The new effort from Nike is made from 13 recycled plastic bottles. The bottles have been cut into flakes before being melted into a thread which is used to make the fabric.

More than half of men would ditch supermodel for Champions League final

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It's not you, it's Michel Platini One in two men would turn down a date with a supermodel in order to watch their team in the Champions League Final. A survey conducted on behalf of the competition's sponsors, Heineken, found that 52 per cent of blokes would stand-up the evening of romance with a leggy [.

Video: 30,000 Genoa fans hold funeral for relegated Sampdoria

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Getting one over under your rivals There have been no snide aeroplane messages in Genoa following Sampdoria's relegation to Serie B. Fans of local rivals Genoa went the whole hog with a fake funeral to mourn the passing of their neighbours. Some 30,000 people took to the streets to take part in the mock funeral [.

Diego Maradona claims Argentine FA doped national team’s coffee

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More than just caffeine Argentina legend Diego Maradona claims he and the rest of the squad were involved in doping ahead a crucial World Cup qualifier in 1993. The newly-appointed Al-Wasl coach managed to keep tight-lipped about the scandal throughout his recent unemployment, but the information has now burst out.

Ryan Giggs in unfortunate advertising juxtaposition

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Can you get an injunction on the placement of adverts in your vicinity? Via @he6rt6gr6m


Ryan Giggs named by MP as injunction footballer who had alleged affair with Imogen Thomas

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Who'd have though it? The super-injunction row involving a Premier League footballer has taken yet another controversial turn after a Liberal Democrat MP named Ryan Giggs as the player involved in the House of Commons. John Hemming MP used parliamentary privilege to name Giggs without fear of subsequent legal action against him.

Video: Joleon Lescott – inadvertent fox in the box

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Accidental goal szólj hozzá: Manchester City defender Joleon Lescott proved he might score more goals for the club if he didn't think about it so much. The England defender gave Citeh the lead against Bolton yesterday with an unintentional bullet header. The ball his Lescott's sizeable head about 13 yards out and arrows into [.

Football Weekend in Numbers

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Bumper goals, international experience and the Scottish Cup 41 Points finished off top place by Blackpool and Birmingham, and were relegated. In 2005 Liverpool finished 37 points adrift, finished fifth (and won Champions League) 2 – Number of teams playing in the Championship next season and in Europe.

Video: Schalke fan slaps goalkeeper Manuel Neuer

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Vee have vays of making you stay Schalke keeper Manuel Neuer might have kept his side's Champions League semi-final against Manchester United within the realms of respectability, but that doesn't seem to have earned him any leeway with the club's supporters. Some Schalke fans are a bit disgruntled that their star hasn't committed his future [.

Wigan manager Roberto Martinez gives his wallet away with lucky coat

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The cost of avoiding relegation Roberto Martinez has had to interrupt Wigan's celebrations at avoiding the drop to appeal for the safe return of his wallet. The joyous Latics boss threw his lucky coat into the crowd at the Britannia Stadium following the 0-1 victory that secured Premier League football for next season for his [.

Video: Mick McCarthy and George Elokobi’s six-pack, swearing and soaking in-full

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Elo, is it me you're looking for? We've already brought you the GIF of Wolves boss Mick McCarthy checking out George Elokobi's muscles, and now we can bring your the full video. It's hilarious from start to finish. Elokobi bursts into McCarthy's BBC's interview to laugh maniacally, scream "Yes, gaffer, yes!

Top 10 conclusions Premier League final day

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1. In terms of material for OTP, losing Ian Holloway but unexpectedly keeping Mick McCarthy is akin to being relegated but your star player announcing he wants to stay at the club. 2. OTP has been pretty harsh on Ian Evatt at various points throughout the season, but we would just like to put on [...

Video: Unbelievable miss from Bayern Munich’s Miroslav Klose

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Klose, but not Klose enough How does a World Cup legend, with 14 goals in 3 tournaments for his country, know when it's time to give the game away? Let Germany's Miroslav Kose demonstrate. On that form from last Saturday's Bundesliga round, the only thing left for Klose might be long days warming the pine.

Video: Wayne Rooney’s son Kai doesn’t have his dad’s eye for goal

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He's refused a sitter Kai Rooney obviously likes to score his goals in spurts, just like daddy. And we can only assume he's currently in the middle of an off-spell after turning down the opportunity to send the Manchester United faithful into raptures. Rooney Jr. shunned a very generous assist from the old man (ie.

GIF It: Wolves boss Mick McCarthy checking out George Elokobi

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We're glad you're staying up, Mick Wolves manager Mick McCarthy chose the jubilant scenes as his side secured Premier League safety as the perfect opportunity to prove that we we right to put George Elokobi at the top of our Premier League muscle men list. The man oozes sex appeal.


Top 10 candidates to be new Chelsea manager

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Who will be the new Chelsea boss? 1. Guus Hiddink Roman didn't want to lose him the first time around after a successful stint at the club. The Dutchman lost just one game during his temporary stint at Stamford Bridge. 2. Marco Van Basten Another Dutchman who has been repeatedly linked with the Chelsea job [.

Top three examples of inappropriate relegation attire

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Some Birmingham City fans are probably now wishing they had rethought their decision to attend Tottenham in fancy dress today. What might have seemed like a jovial end-of-season wardrobe decision at kick-off looked misjudged by the final whistle. 1. Nun This Blue Nun attended the match with a robber.

Chelsea sack Carlo Ancelotti

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That's yer lotti Carlo Ancelotti has been sacked by Chelsea. The club released a statement just two hours after the Blues's final-day defeat at Everton. It confirmed that the 51-year-old Italian had been handed his P45 following the club's second-place finish. A club statement read: "This season's performances have fallen short of expectations and the [.

Video: Manchester United’s Patrice Evra pretends to be the latest trophy dropper

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Have you Evra seen anything like that? Following the recent exploits of Sergio Ramos, Maarten Stekelenburg and Manchester United reserve player Scott Wootton, Patrice Evra had a joke at the expense of dented silverware the world over by pretending to drop the base of the Premier League trophy during the presentation this evening.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for 20th-21st May

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Whilst this won't be the last betting column before the summer (with the Copa America and European U21 Championships), it is certainly true to say that the amount of football is about to become a lot more sparse. With that in mind, get your betting teeth into Survival Sunday I feel sick saying that [.

Top five Survival Sunday survival tips

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Sky's the limit 1. Occupy yourself until 3.45pm Any earlier than that and you might find yourself overwhelmed by a nasty bout of Skyhypingitis. Coverage starts at 3pm, kick-off is 4pm. We sense an hour of mind-numbing hyperbole. 2. Make your choice and stick to it Channel-hopping is destined to end in tears under these [.

Video: Argentinian TV host falls over trying to copy Ronaldinho’s skills

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He fell over... There's something about Strictly Come Dancing-format shows that attracts washed-up sports starts. And that applies all over the world. For instance, Ronaldinho popped along to Argentina's Bailando Por Un Sueno (Dancing For A Dream). He showed off his keepy-uppy skills before casually (accidentally?

The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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Relegation, prize money and a Portuguese record breaker Blackpool Whilst Blackpool have undoubtedly been a breath of fresh air in the Premier League, should his side be relegated at Old Trafford on Sunday then there will be questions asked of Ian Holloway's ethos. Because quite simply when a promoted club has the sixth top scorer [.

Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

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And now, the end is near It is with moist eyes that I compose the last Comedy Column of the season. It will be a long wait until August when we can once again hear the dulcit tones of the BBC's Football Expert and his six figure salary opinions. So, for old times sake: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes [...]


Video: Chelsea players in bizarre football Space Invaders game

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At least one Chelsea player has a trophy this season! Now we know why Chelsea's title challenge was doomed the squad were busy trying to beat their top score in this giant footballing version of Space Invaders. David Luiz, Branislav Ivanovic, Paulo Ferreira and Nicolas Anelka all took on a game of 'Alien Invaders'.

Video: Child needs to work on his diving skills

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Timber!!! This youngster should be asked which player he learnt this from and said footballer should be handed a three-match ban. A culture of diving and simulation seems to be infiltrating youth football. They're just not very good at it. Take Matthew, for instance, who takes a tumble (if you can call that) after an [.

Kitman: Barcelona new home kit 2011/12

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Mes que un kit launch Barcelona have revealed their new home kit with this flashy video. We brought you a sneak peek of the kit a few weeks ago, but here is the official release with all the pomp and circumstance that entails. Pedro, Thiago and Carlos Puyol all have their say in this Barca [...]


Top 10 shocking football before and after shots

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Inspired by our rediscovery of Neil Shipperley, and his subsequent inclusion on our Top 10 fattest football managers list, here's a group of personalities who have undergone quite a transformation. 1. Neil Shipperley Where better to start than the man who planted the seed from which this list grew? Don't get us wrong, the ex-Southampton, [.

Video: Everton star Jack Rodwell tips England under-21s for success in Euros

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In Rod we trust? Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell reckons England have got what it takes to win the European Under-21 Championship this summer. He said: "I'm definitely hoping that we can go very far and definitely win it." The Toffees youngster said the experience of tournament football he received at the previous U21 championship in [.

Video: Liverpool’s Chris Mavinga inflicts horrific head injury

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One of the worst tackle you're likely to see Liverpool left-back Chris Mavinga was probably hoping to make an impression on the Reds' new management team during his loan spell at Belgian club Genk. Instead he has made an impression on the head of Standard Liege star Mehdi Carcela-Gonzalez. The Moroccan needed reconstructive surgery after [.

Video: Kaka and Robin Van Persie play football paintball

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Bullied by Kaka, willingly Normally it would make big news if two of the world's top professional footballers were stood around pelting balls at youths, even more so if they were dipping their balls (so to speak) in a bin full of luminous paint first. But Kaka and Robin Van Persie managed to get away [.

Arsenal use GPS tracking to check players’ whereabouts

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The Voyeur is always watching Arsenal have reinvented their on-pitch tracking technology as a socially acceptable electronic tag for players, according to star striker Robin Van Persie. The satellite technology is now well established on match days, helping coaches and TV viewers alike to keep an eye on how far each players has run.

Arsenal use GPS tracking to check players’ whereabouts

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The Voyeur is always watching Arsenal have reinvented their on-pitch tracking technology as a socially acceptable electronic tag for players, according to star striker Robin Van Persie. The satellite technology is now well established on match days, helping coaches and TV viewers alike to keep an eye on how far each players has run.

Sir Alex Ferguson wishes he’d taken Man Utd ’19 TIMES’ banner to Liverpool

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Ferguerilla Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has praised the pranksters who hung an 'MUFC 19 TIMES' banner at Anfield and claimed he wished he had done it! Speaking at club's end-of-season awards gala, Fergie said: "I wish I had taken that banner to Liverpool on Sunday. I bet there were 76,000 fans wishing they [.

Meet the perfect Premier League manager

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Perfection takes on an unusual guise The perfect Premier League football manager is Scottish, an ex-professional footballer and aged 51 and five months, according to new research. The study, carried out by the makers of the Football Manager game, revealed that on average managers have most success at that age and that that the ideal [.

Premier League flops of the season – part two

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The second of our 'flops' feature 10. Heurelho Gomes The ultimate Jekyll and Hyde goalkeeper. No one has given away or saved more penalties than him this season in the Premier League, and Gomes is now second only to Rob Green in goalkeepers whose errors have been directly responsible for the conceding of a goal.

Video: Opel sells Champions League Final tickets for €10 in touting social experiment

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Legal touting This humorous viral from car manufacturers Opel that's Vauxhall to you and me shows what a cynical bunch we have all become. They sent this scruffy chap onto the streets of Barcelona to offer an absolute steal: two tickets for the Champions League Final at Wembley for €10 each. Needless to [.

Video: Opel sells Champions League Final tickets for €10 in touting social experiment

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Legal touting This humorous viral from car manufacturers Opel that's Vauxhall to you and me shows what a cynical bunch we have all become. They sent this scruffy chap onto the streets of Barcelona to offer an absolute steal: two tickets for the Champions League Final at Wembley for €10 each. Needless to [.