Off the Post Archives for January 2011

Spanish newspaper ‘AS’ Photoshopped player out of controversial offside call!

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Adobe-lieve it Real Madrid-humping Spanish sports rag AS has been forced to apologise after digitally doctoring a photo it published to make it appear that Barcelona's Dani Alves was offside. As the move progressed, Alves went on to set-up David Villa to score the opener in last weekend's 2-1 victory over Athletic Bilbao.

Video: Barcelona try to overcome Ibrahim Afellay language barrier

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Que? This fantastic spoof poke fun at the genuine problems Barcelona's Spanish and Catalan-speaking players appear to be experiencing when trying to give instructions to new boy Ibrahim Afellay. The full script, including English and Spanish bits, goes a bit like this: Valdes: When you are close to me, you, you, you pass the ball [.

Top 10 footballer monobrows

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A list of unique unibrows In an age of metrosexual footballers who spend more time at the salon than the training ground, OTP celebrates 10 players who snubbed plucking and waxing to maintain their magnificent monobrows. 1. Jose Bosingwa Think footballer with monobrow and you think Jose Bosingwa. Despite the amount of time he spends [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 14 – Straight To DVD

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The Off The Post podcast is much like the Oscars: it's full of inflated egos, often rambles on for too long, and is ultimately just a load of hot air. This week we've donned our most ravishing evening gowns to present to you the following: ear nibbling at St Andrews, a Turkish free-kick showdown, Sam [.

The worst Premier League signings in history – club by club

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And now it's statistical The debates over the worst Premier League signings are as old as the league itself. One of the reasons that it has been difficult to gauge is that obviously the cost of players has increased from 1992 to today. However, in their book "Pay as you play" Paul Tomkins, Graeme Riley [.

Video: Saudi Arabian players shows off his somersault throw-in

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What if Rory Delap did gymnastics? This player in the quarter finals of the Crown Prince Cup in Saudi Arabia decided to create a bit of a stir for himself by unleashing his somersault throw-in. The commentator seems impressed, but since he lost possession it was all a waste of effort really. Of course, it [.

Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish and new signing Andy Carroll at Boyzone concert

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It's all a far cry from parties at Kevin Nolan's In what we can only assume was the most humiliating of PR stunts to shed his bad boy image, Andy Carroll went on a hot date with Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish to watch Boyzone. The £35 million-man and his new gaffer saw the ageing boyband [...]


Football weekend in numbers

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Birmingham in the Cup, goals at London Road and a tight Premier League 3 Patrick Vieira scored more than one goal in a game for only the third time in his career on Sunday against Notts County 26 In 26 FA Cup ties against lower league opposition Arsene Wenger has never lost. But [...]


‘Do Are Ya? Mario Balotelli’s moped tyre track

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Brrrmm, brrrmm Talk about rapid hair growth: Mario Balotelli appeared to be completely bald when Manchester City played Aris Thessaloniki on Tuesday evening. Come yesterday's FA Cup replay against Notts County and it appears that Mario's head has been run over by a 50cc moped.


Top 10 conclusions FA Cup weekend 19-20 February

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1. This year's FA Cup sponsored by Back To The Future is getting confusing. Are we going to have one team turning up at Wembley for the final while their opponents are still finishing off their quarter-final replay? 2. Crawley Town manager Steve Evans is gradually morphing into a drag act. 3. Football really is [.

‘Do Are Ya? Florent Malouda

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Serial offender Florent Malouda's search for football's most ridiculous haircut continues with his new bushy ponytail. The Chelsea star has 'Do Are Ya? form and we don't expect it to be his last appearance in this feature. We just don't know what he's going to do when he runs out of little girls' hairstyles to [.

Video: Lionel Messi takes a shot to the nuts before Arsenal v Barcelona

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No wonder Lionel Messi was misfiring slightly during Barcelona's defeat to Arsenal last week. The Argentine star took a nasty shot to his Ballons D'Or before the match.


Video: Turkish team-mates scrap over injury time free-kick

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Set-piece duty set-to Everton fans will have noted minor rivalry between Leighton Baines and Mikel Arteta to take the last-gasp free-kick which ultimately sent their FA Cup clash with Chelsea to a penalty shootout. Baines took responsibility and scored, avoiding any possible repercussions. All rather muted compared to this incident from the Turkish league.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: football betting tips for 19-20 February

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Gattuso, Crouchy and some Valentine's images in our sports betting round-up Football story of the week was obviously ‘Arry's boys doing one on AC Meeelan. As a hopeless addict and boozer, I have to admire the behaviour of Rino Gattuso. Sort of acting like some Immanuel (it's philosopher rhyming slang) in a local boozer who [.

OTP Quiz of the Week 14

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Asking how much you remember from last season One question for each PL club this week: 1. Who was Arsenal's top league goalscorer? 2. What is the name of the charity that sponsored Aston Villa? 3. Only one Birmingham City player played every Premier League game. Name him? 4. Which international and cult hero retired [.

Crawley Town defenders can earn money for Help For Heroes if they keep Manchester United at bay

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Help for heroic defending Non-league side Crawley Town have been given an extra incentive to thwart Manchester United's attacks in their FA Cup clash and it's all in the name of charity. Crawley had already agreed a one-off shirt sponsorship deal with The Sun for tomorrow's clash. Now FA Cup sponsors E-ON have pledged [.

Turkish manager sticks his new goalkeeper on his credit card!

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Interest-free credit on your star signing! Bucaspor coach Samet Aybaba used his initiative when he was told the financially-crippled club couldn't afford to buy a new goalkeeper and made the purchase with his credit card. Desperate to bring Estonia international goalkeeper Pavel Londak to his club from Norwegian side Bodø/Glimt, Aybaba volunteered his plastic to [.

Exposé: The real reasons Gennaro Gattuso went mental

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The theories you haven't heard yet Rumours have been rife over the last 48 hours regarding the exact motives and catalysts behind Gennaro Gattusso's neck-throttling, forehead-thundering behaviour on Tuesday night. A few choice words may have been said by Spurs number two Joe Jordan, but that still leaves many bamboozled by the midfielder behaving as [.

Video: Host of Italy’s equivalent of Soccer Saturday not as composed as Jeff Stelling

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Unbelievable, Goffredo Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve, the presenter of the Italian version of Soccer Saturday takes the viewers on an emotional rollercoaster. It is safe to safe the bloke in question is an AC Milan fan, and Tuesday night's defeat to Tottenham was a particularly tough shift for him.

Video: Proof that Jamie Redknapp did indeed ‘smash it’

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You could go round there any night of the week and find Redknapp's Wii remote hanging out the back of its charge. Nintendo has discovered it can turn the Sky Sports sexism scandal to its advantage with a very obvious "smash it" reference that mugs like OTP can't resist sharing with you!


Manchester City sign Kaka, Wayne Rooney and co. (according to Europa League opponents)

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Match programme FAIL Man City's Europa League opponents Aris Thessaloniki were forced to pulp the match programmes for their Tuesday evening clash after inadvertently printing a spoof City squad photo. The Photoshopped intruder featured a 60-man squad including Wayne Rooney, Kaká, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Lionel Messi, Fernando Torres, Didier Drogba and Mesut Ozil.

The world is watching. Huge weekend for…

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From Elland Road to Celtic Park Crawley Town It is extremely unusual for Manchester United to go into a game where they are not the focal point, but the FA Cup is not a usual competition. Crawley Town, with Torres and all, travel to Old Trafford, and it would be folly to even dwell on [...]


Video: Scary scenes as lightning hits a Colombian match

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Close call Players at last week's clash between Colombian sides La Equidad and Atletico Nacional had a lucky escape after a lightning bolt hit the stadium during the game. Several players were knocked from their feet or were left clutching their heads. And afterwards the understandable relief is clear to see!

Mark Lawrenson’s comedy column

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Causing problems, skint, and being in the same boat 99 Problems From Chelsea v Everton: "Everton will go to Stamford Bridge and set out to be hard to beat but I cannot see them causing Chelsea any problems." Score prediction: 2-1 From Birmingham v Sheffield Wednesday: "I do think Wednesday will make things uncomfortable for [.

Roma’s John Arne Riise issues apology for falling over

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Sorry, I'm clumsy Ex-Liverpool left-back John Arne Riise felt compelled to apologise to Roma fans after gifting Shakhtar Donetsk a goal by falling over for no apparent reason. The Norwegian's strange collapse allowed Shakhtar to score their third goal in a 2-3 victory that leaves Roma teetering on the edge of Champions League elimination.

GIF It: Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny shows the Invisible Woman a real good time

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Crazy keeper's joyous celebration Arsenal's incredible Champions League turnaround against Barcelona felt so good that goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny was compelled to start humping thin air and show the world his sex face. Via 101GG


Top five conclusions: Arsenal 2-1 Barcelona

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1. Wow, an overhyped match that actually lived up to our ridiculous expectations! Sexy football and and an exciting storyline. 2. Pep Guardiola got a brief insight into managing a 'normal' team. The Barcelona boss was already celebrating when Lionel Messi went one-on-one with Wojciech Szczesny, only for the Argentine to clip the ball wide.

Photo: Bobby Charlton enjoys an FA Cup-winning cigarette

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Another lung-busting performance Manchester United and England legend Sir Bobby Charlton was snapped enjoying a smoke in the Wembley dressing room in this little-seen photograph from the 1963 FA Cup final. The image is one of a range of unseen and rare photographs dug up from the archives of photo agency Colorsport.

Gareth Southgate: you can pick on his teeth and penalty-taking ability, but you’ll never take his eyesight

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Ex-England star takes Twitter abuse in good humour


Wikipedia gets revenge on Gennaro Gattuso on Joe Jordan’s behalf

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Take Gat If ever there was an advert for anger management Gennaro Gattuso was it. You can always trust Wikipedia to provide you with up to date, factual information on pretty much anything. This is the Italian's Wikipedia page minutes after his 'roid rage, last night.


OTP Podcast: Episode 13 – Jurassic Legacy

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It doesn't really matter about the rain The Off The Post Podcast is much like the Olympic Stadium: it causes controversy in footballing circles, whether or not it has a positive legacy remains to be seen, and Karren Brady is a big fan of it.* *not strictly true. This week's pod may not have retractable [.

Video: Gennaro Gattuso headbutts Joe Jordan

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Angry headcase nuts elderly bloke AC Milan failed to overcome Tottenham at the San Siro last night, but they did manage to overshadow them thanks to Gennaro Gattuso. The midfield hardman initially picked a fight with Spurs assistant Joe Jordan during the match when he appeared to push Jordan in the face.

The retiring of Ronaldo: A message of thanks

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A great football career in acknowledgments Thank you for being the greatest goal scorer in my lifetime. Zidane may have had more grace and compsure in the nineties, but Ronaldo had the finish. 247 goals in 343 league games from a man who was plagued by knee injuries from the age of 20 onwards. 62 [..

Top five conclusions: AC Milan 0-1 Tottenham

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1. Gennaro Gattuso is pure class. Starting on a man who turns 60 this year proves you are a real football hardman. Having said that, Gattuso v Joe Jordan might actually pip Zlatan Ibrahimovic v David O'Leary as the most bizarre player versus coach scrap of the year so far. 2. Mathieu Flamini did his [.

OTP Rebounds: Barca Toons on a mission to London, proper transfers and remembering Ronaldo

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A sneaky one-two with the world wide web Do you exshpect them to talk? Good, because they don't [One Match Ban] Crawley confirm their title as least favourite non-league giantkillers of all time by posting a music video which mocked the Munich Air Disaster on their official website [Guardian] 101GG gets all misty-eyed over Originaldo [.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #4 Eddie McGoldrick

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Name: Eddie McGoldrick In his 1990s prime for: Crystal Palace, Arsenal and Manchester City Lowdown: Kettering Town, Nuneaton Borough, Northampton Town, Crystal Palace, Arsenal. You just don't get career progression like that these days. But that's the path Republic of Ireland international Eddie McGoldrick took to the disappointing pinnacle of his career at Arsenal.

Man City defender Joleon Lescott lost to Wayne Rooney on the Xbox too

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Glutton for punishment Wayne Rooney's spectacular overhead kick to secure victory for Manchester United in last weekend's derby match was obviously not painful enough for Manchester City's Joleon Lescott. He decided to challenge his England team-mate to a game of FIFA 11 on the Xbox later on Saturday, and was again defeated by Rooney!

Video: New York Red Bulls’ John Rooney takes a milkshake to the head

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Like a red rag to a Red Bull While one Rooney brother was scoring an overhead kick in Manchester last weekend, another was receiving an overhead 'shake in Mexico. New York Red Bulls' new signing John Rooney had to cut short an interview when team-mate Teddy Schneider poured milkshake over his head. It all seems [.

Video: Glenn Hoddle decides Sky Sports are lacking a bit of casual racism

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Hod's comic timing woefully out Sky Sports' scandal-ridden start to 2011 continued with a fresh saga last night. Glenn Hoddle, co-commentator for the Fulham v Chelsea game, took to his Monday Night Football slot like a bigoted duck to water. After some poor control for Chelsea's record signing Fernando Torres, Hoddle said he was "like [.

Video: Raheem Sterling scores five for Liverpool in FA Youth Cup

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Sterling pounds Southend Fresh from his appearance in OTP's Ten Premier League stars of the future list, Liverpool youngster Raheem Sterling proved precisely why he had been included with a five-goal haul in his side's 9-0 FA Youth Cup demolition of Southend United. Granted Sterling will probably face tougher challenges in his career than The [.

Ridiculous quote of the day: Alan Shearer praises West Brom and West Ham for getting the basics right

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They even had nets "It had everything: goals, crossbars, posts." MOTD pundit Alan Shearer damns West Brom and West Ham with faint praise after their 3-3 draw. At least the groundsman at The Hawthorns knows he has the rudimentary makings of a football pitch.


Ten Premier League stars of the future

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And praise the Lord, most of them are English Breaking news: this top ten was not written on public transport. There are three self-imposed rules when creating a list of Premier League future stars: 1. Players must be under 18 years of age 2. They must be currently at a Premier League club (thus excluding [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 12-13 February

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1. He may have been misfiring of late and he may not be in the best of form, but what a strike with which to answer your critics. There's no doubting it: David Silva's arse is back to his best. 2. Oh, Wayne Rooney's overhead kick wasn't too shabby either. 3. Harry Redknapp might take [...]


Football weekend in numbers

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United at home, RVP and some posh names 41 – Won all 41 games at Old Trafford in the Premier League in which Wayne Rooney has scored 20 – Number of points gained by Spurs from losing positions in the Premier League this season 20 – And after their game against Spurs on Saturday, Sunderland [...

Video: Watford’s Dale Bennett scores a bizarre 25-yard own goal against Burnley

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Put in row z-head Watford defender Dale Bennett was unfortunate to find himself on the scoresheet after scoring one of the unluckiest own goals you're likely to see this season. Burnley were the beneficiaries as goalkeeper Scott Loach smacked his hoofed clearance against Bennett's head outside the penalty area.

Video: Wayne Rooney’s outrageous overhead kick goal (Manchester United 2-1 Manchester City)

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Penalty area acrobatics You probably missed it over the weekend, but Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney scored a rather good goal in the Manchester City game. Just keep pressing play once the video finishes: you'll want to watch it a few times.


Video: Birmingham City’s Obafemi Martins is a closet Adele fan

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Oba's rolling in the deep There's no controlling Birmingham City striker Obafemi Martins. Once he hears the chorus of Adele's Rolling In The Deep he just has to dance.


OTP Quiz of the Week 13

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With a young players theme... 1. Who is the the youngest player to play in the Premier League? (Clue: He played for Middlesbrough) 2. And who is the youngest to score? 3. At what age did Jermaine Jenas captain Nottingham Forest? 18,19 or 20? 4. Who was in goal for Argentina when Michael Owen scored [.

Richard Keys in shocking racist rant

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Is he going to be sacked again? Richard Keys doesn't make it easy for himself doe he? The broadcaster will go into Talksport tomorrow for his first day at work having to answer some seriously awkward questions, after footage from A Sky test channel emerged. In the video, Richard Keys referred to as ex-international and [.

Video: Carlton Cole’s grotesque comedy disfigurement

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OTP can't think of any good reason why Carlton Cole had to be the West Ham representative to face the Match of the Day cameras other than morbid curiosity. Cole came on to TV to do his best Elephant Man impression and sing the praises of Scott Parker!


Top ten young Premier League players

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Stars of the now and near future Most of my top ten features are born from a sustained period of public transport. This one was a London St Pancras to Nottingham train journey. 110 minutes to think with three rules: * Players must be 21 or younger * Selection is on talent and performances now (not [.

West Ham set to bring giant stadium to the Championship after winning Olympic bid

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Normally, successful Olympic bids require a healthy dose of Seb Coe schmoozing but West Ham have proven that some Karren Brady mud-slinging can be just as effective. The Hammers bid to have the largest stadium in the Coca Cola Championship has been approved. The Eastenders successfully kept Tottenham off their turf.

Top five game-changing games

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OTP looks at matches that changed football's laws 1. England 1-0 Argentina (1966) This is the match where Argentina captain Antonio Rattin refused to leave the pitch after being sent-off. Suggestions that his dismissal had been lost in translation might sound like sour grapes, yet England defender Jack Charlton phoned the Wembley press office to [.

James Beattie lines himself up as Blackpool’s substitute goalkeeper

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Beatts running Some footballers of a certain age of accused of being happy to sit on their bench and collect their pay packet, but not Blackpool's James Beattie. The Seasiders' new star striker has volunteered to forego his attacking duties and be the team's substitute keeper instead. With Matt Gilks and Paul Rachubka out injured, [.

Video: Nike takes you up close and personal with Barcelona star Andres Iniesta

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Sponsored post If you have ever wondered what it would be like to be Andres Iniesta's world for a day, the answer it seems is fish-eyed and a bit dizzying. This cool viral from Nike takes you to the heart of the action, where Iniesta is always to be found. Taking control with [...]


Newcastle find Andy Carroll replacement in the shape of… Shefki Kuqi? Are you kidding?

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He no speak English Alan Pardew doesn't take any messing around, least of all from ne'er do well, lardy owners. That's why when he found out his star striker was being shipped out to Liverpool he set Mike Ashley straight. As he said the day after transfer deadline day: "The one thing I said to [...]


Warning: Lionel Messi will not have his photo taken with you if your trousers are round your ankles

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It's just one of his rules This chap must have thought it was his lucky day. Not only did he happen to be leaving Aeropuerto de Barcelona El Prat at the same time as Lionel Messi, but the Barcelona star was also being shadowed by a camera crew so his autograph hunting antics were certain [...]


Kitman: New Sierra Leone shirt worst football kit ever?

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It's got to be up there There really is no excuse for a shirt like this to be made in this day and age. OTP can only assume that Hummel wasn't really taking the Sierra Leone kit contract very seriously and decided to give the Acid house-loving work experience day free-rein on his first day. [...]


Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

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Boring as hell, Mr Obvious, and Kenny using all his squad Boring, boring Lawro Last week we suggested that predicting no team to score more than two goals might be a tad negative of our man. Think it is fair to say that after a record goalscoring week the point was valid! Anyway it flagged [...]


Manchester City groundsman forced to close Facebook account over offensive comments

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Carlos Tevez likes this A Manchester City employee has been ordered to shut-down his Facebook account by the club after a series of foul-mouthed outbursts towards Manchester United hit the headlines. Ged Coyne, City's groundsman for 15 years, was told to remove his 'Ged Coyne MrManchestercity' account amid fears his comments could stoke up yet [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for 12-13 February

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More lower league punts, foreign predictions, and some Valentine's plans Last week Punter Dan returned a profit of 23 of your English pounds. More this week, he promises: Another week of footy, and after the crazy mental eff-up of last weekend's Premier League it was back to Earth with the bump of international friendly week.

Video: Ebbsfleet United goalkeeper Preston Edwards sent-off inside 10 secs, gets angry

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Schoolboy defending, toddler tantrum Preston Edwards reluctantly entered the record books this week as he picked up the fastest red card ever. The Ebbsfleet United keeper was sent-off after 10 seconds of his side's match against Farnborough. The ex-Millwall man brought down Kezie Ibe, who was clean through on goal after a woefully underhit backpass [.

Top five positives: Denmark 1-2 England

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1. It's a win And let's face it, we'll take any sort of win at the moment. As it happens it was a decent win in the sort of game England might have let slide for a draw or conceded a late goal in previously. 2. Jack Wilshere New Makelele? Not quite there's a [...]


Thinking outside the box key to success of English managers

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Is a small island mentality restricting our coaches? The following blog was written before the sacking of Steve McClaren from Wolfsburg. Its points, however, are still valid. Thinking outside the box the key to success of English managers He was the tabloid-labelled ‘Wally with the Brolly'. After an ignominious exit from England, Steve McClaren was a [.

Video: Defender gets away with incredible handball save

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Like Luis Suarez, but sneakier This incredible incident comes from last weekend's FA Trophy match between Blyth Spartans and Droylsden. It is a terrific save, diving backwards to tip the ball away. Unfortunately, it was made by one of Droylsden's outfield players. Somehow the match officials manage to spot the blatant handball and Blyth Spartans [.

Leeds left-back George McCartney retires from international football by text message

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Angin up boots lol Leeds defender George McCartney quit the Northern Ireland international set-up by text message on Sunday night. The 29-year-old, on loan at Elland Road from Sunderland, sent an SMS to Northern Ireland assistant manager Glynn Snodin also a coach at Leeds to say he was retiring from international football.

OTP Podcast: Episode 12 – Valentine’s Special

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Ride 'em, Mick The Off The Post Podcast is much like Valentine's Day it consists of a few desperate blokes and a lot of love goes into it. But in the end its all a bit of an anticlimax. This week we can't offer 12 red roses and a box of chocolates, but we [...]


Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #3 Luc Nijholt

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Name: Luc Nijholt In his 1990s prime for: Swindon Town Lowdown: Swindon Town's 1993/94 Premier League squad is rich pickings for random 1990s footballers. OTP will undoubtedly revisit the squad in the future, but we've plumped for Dutch star Luc Nijholt as our first pick. The side is famous for its top-flight ineptitude, but Nijholt [.

Video: The shambolic Wolfsburg penalty that sparked Steve McClaren’s sacking

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And not an umbrella in sight The childish scenes in the video above have led to Wolfsburg sacking Steve McClaren. When Brazilian midfielder Diego was awarded a penalty during the match against Hannover, he decided he had earned the right to take the spot-kick. That was despite the fact that new signing Patrick Helmes had [.

Premier League Name Translator: #19 Victor God’s Heart

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Cutting through the exotic monikers of Premier League imports so you can judge the player, not the name West Ham have been looking like they would need some divine intervention to stop them being relegated to the Championship this season, and it turns out they have just the right man to provide this.

Manchester City launch ‘Eat Like A Player’ website feature

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Citeh go all Jamie Oliver If you've ever thought you wouldn't mind a bit of whatever's fuelling Carlos Tevez, Manchester City are now encouraging you to do just that. They launched a new 'Eat Like A Player' feature, which puts a slightly manly spin on what is effectively a recipe column. The club spiel reads: [.

Benni McCarthy’s fat fines from West Ham hit £200,000

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Chubby striker's junk food fund takes a hit West Ham forward Benni McCarthy has been fined nearly £200,000 by the club for repeatedly failing to meet his weight loss and fitness targets. The tubby South African international had his £38,000-a-week wage docked on five separate occasions for missing his 2.

Football weekend in numbers

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Fortress City Ground, managers tumbling, and goals goals goals 40 – Number of goals in all competitions scored by Lionel Messi this season 43 Number of goals in the Premier League weekend. A record since the league was reduced to 20 teams 1 Newcastle United were the first ever side to come from [.

‘Do Are Ya? Asamoah Gyan (Sunderland)

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Head art Sunderland striker Asamoah Gyan got all spruced up for his visit to the bright lights of Stoke-on-Trent on Saturday. On a windswept Saturday lunchtime in the Potteries, the only thing not blowing around was the Ghanaian's freshly tufted hair. Delighted team-mate Kieran Richardson took to sheltering behind the tall windbreaker.

Video: High school match abandoned after crazed headbutt challenge

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Heads, you lose This US high school match had to be called off following a brutal challenge by a St Margaret's player on a Saddleback Valley Christian School opponent. The ball bounced up nicely for a 50/50 challenge in the air. But when the St Margaret's man realised he wasn't going to win the ball, [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 5-6 February

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1. Any discussions on Fernando Torres's post goal etiquette proved to be very premature indeed. Chelsea are now lining up a £75 million bid for Raul Meireles, the Liverpool player who has been finding the net most frequently in recent weeks. 2. It was a terrible weekend for the top four, with the exception of [.

A Savage verbal attack: Robbie twists the knife

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Sticks and stones will break my bones As you may have read, yesterday OTP rather wound up Monsieur Savage by suggesting that he may be out of touch with some of the working class fans that pay to watch him at Pride Park. It is time to admit that I, Daniel Storey, then took upon [...]


Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny tweets apologies to his fantasy football supporters

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Pole recognises he's let down many fantasy managers After Arsenal's incredible 4-4 draw with Newcastle on Saturday, goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny felt compelled to issue a Twitter apology to anyone who had put him in their fantasy football team. He tweeted: Btw I want to apologise to anyone that bought me to their fantasy football [.

@RobbieSavage8 shows that he is still in touch with the common man

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Round 2. Fight. OTP, and me in particular, has history with Robbie Savage. He has previously made it clear that we are not his favourite football blog site. But Robbie wants to let us all know that he is still in touch with football fans nationwide. He knows that we toil away through the week, [...]


Video: Horror miss from Maxi Rodriguez

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Par for the course? It's the first half of what has so far been a drab game. It is a huge match for your club, against the striker who left you less than a week earlier. Your captain plays the ball across to you, and puts it on a plate for you two yards out. [...]


Darren Bent celebrated Sunderland to Aston Villa move by sleeping with Steve Bruce’s daughter

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Quite a golden handshake from the Black Cats Aston Villa striker Darren Bent had one particularly fond farewell to bid before leaving Sunderland to Steve Bruce's daughter Amy. The News of the World reports that Bent had been secretly dating his manager's daughter for the past six months. The Black Cats boss had hit [.

OTP Quiz of the Week 12

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With an old skool Premier League footballers theme You will all have enjoyed our Random 90s Footballers feature, so this week we thought we would test you out. And remember, this week it is meant to be very tough! 1. Name the two Moroccans to have played for Aston Villa in the 90s? 2. Two [...]


FIFA considers banning snoods

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Sepp Blatter thinking along the same lines as Roy Keane Snoods are facing being outlawed by FIFA. Football's latest fashion craze is being threatened with the chop amid concerns that they could be dangerous. Stars such as Arsenal's Samir Nasri, Liverpool's Pepe Reina and Manchester City's... well, just Manchester City have propelled the neckwear to [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for 5-6 February

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A German double, some Football League filthiness, and an ode to our broken land Had to take inner city public transport this week. I don't mean that in an "I'm royalty, I couldn't possible mix with the unwashed" way, I just don't do it much. In fact, I am the unwashed. There was some school [...]


Video: Andy Carroll Newcastle shirt burning FAIL

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Burn, baby, burn If you're going to burn a replica shirt in a heroic protest against a traitorous past-player, you need to do it in style and with an air of professionalism. Simply, take one shirt with the money-grabbing player's surname on the back, a lighter, lighting fluid for aesthetic enhancement, an angry mob foaming at [.

Video: Angry Corinthians fans label Ronaldo a “useless fatty”, go on rampage

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Brazilian fans spot what we already knew Corinthians fans ran riot after their side were eliminated from the Copa Libertadores in the preliminary stages. The Brazilian side crashed out with an embarrassing 2-0 aggregate defeat to Colombian outfit Deportes Tolima. And the fans didn't take it very well.

Video: Inter Milan’s Cristian Chivu thinks he’s hard with his protective headwear, punches opponent

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Gloves off, headguard still on Cristian Chivu punched Bari's Marco Rossi during last night's 3-0 victory for Inter Milan. The Romanian 'hardman' thumped Rossi on the back of the head from behind, all the while under the protection of his safety headgear. The match officials missed the incident and Chivu stayed on the pitch, but [.

Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

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Home sweet home "It is Stoke who are in greater need of getting back to winning ways, especially at home." Stoke have won their last two Premier League home games without conceding a goal. Insight for sore eyes One thing that we love about Lawro, and the Match of the Day team in general, is [...]


Guest Post January February: Juan Pablo Angel – The Galaxy’s Latest Star

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Last month was guest post month on OTP, but those rascals at Twofootedtackle don't play by the rules. Chris Nee sneaked this article through after the deadline like Harry Redknapp with Rafael Van Der Vaart's registration forms. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. You probably know that from somewhere [.

Top three goalscoring Premier League debuts (featuring Liverpool’s Luis Suarez, West Ham’s Robbie Keane and Bolton’s Daniel Sturridge)

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Transfer deadline day provides its first heroes 1. Luis Suarez It was a case of 'Fernando who?' at Anfield as Luis Suarez followed in the footsteps of fellow Eredivisie alumni Afonso Alves and Georgios Samaras by making an immediate impact in the Premier League. The sub bagged the second goal in a 2-0 win over [.

Video: Micah Richards knocks himself out with enormous leap

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Nigel De Jong claims another victim Manchester City defender Micah Richards' prodigious leap has long been considered one of his finest attributes. But his salmon-like capabilities proved to be a double-edged sword during last night's draw with Birmingham. The England international mounted an enormous jump over Liam Ridgewell to clear the ball before discovering that [.

Gary Neville retires from football to concentrate on his line of shaving products

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Red Nev hangs up his boots Gary Neville, who last played top-flight in 2007, has announced his retirement from football. Yes, we know he has appeared in Premier League matches this season but we didn't see any top-flight football from him. Neville said: "I have played in the most incredible football teams, playing with some [.

Video: Goalkeeper goal celebration FAIL

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Why keepers should stay in their own box Brazilian goalkeeper Saulo, of Sport, grabbed an incredible injury-time winner over Vitoria-PE in the Campeonato Pernambucano Championship. Having seen his header cross the line, he wheeled off to celebrate behind the goal just like he has seen his striking chums do.

Schoolboy finds his wardrobe ruined by transfer deadline day

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Personalised shirt double whammy A six-year-old schoolboy has emerged as an unlikely late contender for our Top 10 transfer deadline day losers list. Joseph Kierney, of Walton, Liverpool, has a Scouse mum and a Geordie dad. Not wishing to show favouritism towards either parent, Joseph supports both Liverpool and Newcastle.

Top 10 transfer deadline day losers

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The winner takes it all, the loser gets a list too Following on from yesterday's list of transfer deadline day winners, here are their less fortunate counterparts: 1. John W. Henry's chequebook The Liverpool owner's bank account took a bit of a battering. The Fernando Torres sale covered most of the costs, but Kenny Dalglish [.

Bolton snap-up Daniel Sturridge / Danny Welbeck / generic talented black English youngster

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Dan who? Bolton Wanderers' official website made their new loanee Daniel Sturridge immediately feel at home at the club by heralding his arrival with a photograph of Danny Welbeck. They have since opted for a safer photo of Sturridge in a Chelsea shirt. Welbeck has definitely never played for Chelsea, Spotted on The Offside


Video: Marta shows why she’s the female Lionel Messi

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Not bad... for a girl Anyone who criticises the standard of women's football obviously hasn't got enough Marta in their life. Take this goal she scored last weekend, for instance. The Brazilian won the women's FIFA Ballon D'or last month when Lionel Messi picked up the men's version, and she displayed truly Messi-esque dribbling, pace, [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 11 – Get To The Chopper!

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Cutting through football nonsense like a rotary blade through the Merseyside night The Off The Post Podcast is much like transfer deadline day: it's full of unsubstantiated rumours, has an element of desperation about it, and Andy Carroll can play a big part in it. In this week's show we've signed up: a Turkish manager [.

Will Spurs pay for their lack of ambition?

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Neville, Beckham and Adam simply didn't fit the bill You would be forgiven for stating that 2010 was the year of the Spurs. First there was qualification for the Champions League, beating the new World's Richest Clubâ„¢ to that particular honour. Following this came the advent of the Spurs Superhero, with Gareth Bale transforming himself [.

Happy 30th Birthday, Francis Jeffers

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The big 30 for the Fox in the Box Would anyone go to the expense of placing a spoof 30th birthday advert for Francis Jeffers? If not then his fall from grace is well and truly complete. From backpage hero to the hatches, matches and dispatches column! Spotted on The Fiver via The Spoiler


Video: Keepy uppy FAIL

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Ouch! This chap wants to show off his juggling skills, but he just ends up looking like a bit of a clown.


Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

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Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics From Everton v Arsenal: "Everton are unbeaten in five games" True. But one of these was against Scunthorpe. They have also only won 2 of their last 13 league games. Possibly a more salient piece of information. Home Sweet Home From Everton v Arsenal: Â "They (Everton) came close to beating [.

Video: Fantastic Madron FC footage (including the Peter Reid training session)

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Oh, yes! You've died and gone to Madron heaven This footage comes from the BBC's Inside Out South West programme and the Madron action starts 10mins 50 secs into the video above. Not only is there plenty of match highlights so that you can judge for yourself exactly where the Cornish village side's defending is [.

“Yeah, I know”: It’s Liverpool’s new strikeforce

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Britain, Britain, Britain As noted by any number of Twitter wags (not WAGs), Liverpool yesterday spent an absolute fortune to team-up a dream strike partnership of Lou and Andy. If anybody can be bothered to do a less shoddy Photoshop, we will gladly replace that one!


January transfer window – Premier League round up

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Review of the comings and goings, toings and froings Arsenal Would Wenger be the worst personto play Football Manager with? No players in in January, a lot now rest onthe shoulders of recently fringe players Djourou and Sczezny. Fan at the Emirates will be concerned, but not surprised. Aston Villa Arguably made the best signings [.

Top 10 transfer deadline day winners

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Who did well out of yesterday's circus? 1. Newcastle United They pocketed a brief British transfer record fee for a player with less than six months of Premier League experience and managed to crudely convince the media and public that the player had been the driving force behind the move. 2. Helicopter pilots There were [.

Newcastle fans, did you enjoy turning the page of your calendar this morning?

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Meet Mr February Newcastle United inflicted a spot of calendar FAIL upon themselves by selling Andy Carroll to Liverpool yesterday. Members of the Toon Army angry at Carroll's departure turned the page on their official club calendars this morning to find their former number 9 is February's poster boy.

Video: Liverpool fans burn Fernando Torres shirt

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Club can cover cost of Carroll fee with replacement replica shirt sales Disgruntled Scousers took part in the grand modern tradition of burning the £60 piece of polyester bearing your former favourite player's name as he leaves the club. Liverpool fans held a Torres shirt bonfire for the benefit of the Sky Sports cameras.

Football Lookalikes: New Chelsea signing David Luiz and Sideshow Bob

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The, Bart, The Poor old David Luiz looked like he was going to be Chelsea's star attraction in the January transfer window. Instead he ended up being sneaked in through the tradesman's entrance as Fernando Torres stole the show. Hopefully he is not planning a murderous revenge, despite his similarities to The Simpsons' resident psychopath [.

Video: Neri Cardozo clashes with an advertising hoarding

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Ad the impaler Monterrey midfielder Neri Cardozo had a painful coming together with an advertising hoarding during his side's defeat to Pumas. The Argentinian attempted to hurdle the pitchside hoardings, only to catch his trailing leg. Knocked off balance, he flies towards another set of hoardings and lands painfully on the sharp corner.

Video: Fernando Torres talks to Chelsea TV

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El Nino on his transfer A tired Fernando Torres squeezed in an exclusive interview with Chelsea TV before heading to bed after completing his £50 million transfer to the west London club. And he made some pretty thinly-veiled digs at the way Liverpool have regressed in recent seasons and the lack of Champions League football [.