Off the Post Archives for January 2011

Real Madrid boss Jose Mourinho scores early traffic sign victory over Barcelona

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Mou are ya? Jose Mourinho has got one-up on Barcelona in the build-up to the forthcoming El Clasico. A digital traffic sign warning of restrictions around Barcelona's ground referred to the stadium as the 'Mou Camp' rather than the Nou Camp. You would expect that a fit-fingered Spanish civil servant has merely pounded the wrong [.

Benoit Assou Ekotto and Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere both find it hilarious that Tottenham are losing to PAOK

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Tottenham are currently in a spot of bother in the Europa League as they find themselves 2-1 down to Greek side PAOK. Spurs went two goals down, which was hilarious to an onlooking Benoit Assou Akotto who declared that he was laughing out loud as PAOK took the lead. Meanwhile, Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere was [.

Sunderland sack manager Steve Bruce

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Brucie bye-bye Steve Bruce has been sacked as manager of struggling Sunderland. The Black Cats have picked up just two wins in 13 games this season. Odds on Bruce becoming the first Premier League manager to lose his job this season shortened dramatically on Sunday evening, prompting reports that he knew he would lose his [.

Video: Samir Nasri nearly subs himself off (Arsenal 0-1 Manchester City)

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Your number's not up Ex-Arsenal player Samir Nasri hardly set the world alight on his return to the Emirates Stadium with Manchester City last night, but he nearly played an even less significant role in the match when he attempted to get himself subbed in the first-half. A spot of numerical dyslexia blighted the Frenchman [.

Video: Marek Hamsik and his penalty / staircase celebration FAIL (Napoli v Juventus)

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Celebrating a disallowed goal is always a bit embarrassing, but Napoli star Marek Hamsik can rarely have been left more red-faced than after this bizarre sequence of events during last night's match with Juventus. Hamsik stepped up to take a spot-kick for his side after Andrea Pirlo had tripped Ezequiel Lavezzi in the box.

Engraver puts the names of all England World Cup goalscorers on the bottom of a stud!

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This is insane Master engraver Graham Short has come up with a unique way of personalising football boots, albeit we can't see it taking off. The miniature engraving expert has etched the names of every England player to find the net at a World Cup from 1950-2010 into the bottom of a metal stud. If [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 15 – League Of His Own

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Pulling with Steve Bruce Ep.15 League Of His Own by Off The Post on Mixcloud This week, despite a chunk of Premier League games achieving grindingly mediocre status, the Pod has polished up a few moments that made it less offensive to the senses. Get ready to discover why Gareth Barry's sharpness is primarily down [.

Remembering Gary Speed

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The OTP Podcast team pay tribute As you will hear in this week's show, the OTP Podcast team is first to admit that the fundamentally irreverent tone of our show is not an appropriate platform to discuss at length the shocking death of Gary Speed. Despite our limited coverage and acknowledgment that a discussion of [.

Video: Joe Hart sings Wonderwall at Manchester City’s training ground

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Stop crying your Hart out Probably the best keeper in the Premier League? Check. England's number one? Check. Great singer? Not so much. Keeper Joe Hart treated the City TV cameras to his rendition of the Oasis classic Wonderwall, complete with his own monkey swagger actions. And this wasn't some staged singing contest: he's in [.

Five tributes to Gary Speed

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We usually try to add an element of humour to our top ten and top five features. However, in the light of the weekend's events, we thought it would be just to examine some of the more heartfelt responses to the death of a true gentleman. He was the normal Gary Speed to me. He [...]


Video: Anderlecht keeper Silvio Proto’s howler against Zulte-Waregem

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Goalie FAIL Anderlecht goalkeeper Silvio Proto suffered a horrendous error against Zulte-Waregem at the weekend. His howler was only slightly worse than the initial shot. We would tell you just how bad it was, but Proto's already done that in considerable detail. He said: "This is the biggest blunder of my career.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #12 David Hillier

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Name: David Hillier In his 1990s prime for: Arsenal Lowdown: After joining Arsenal at the age of fourteen, Hillier impressed George Graham and made his first team debut in 1990, winning the league title the same year. Although never really being a regular starter during his Arsenal career, Hillier did play 43 games in 1992/3.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #12 David Hillier

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Name: David Hillier In his 1990s prime for: Arsenal Lowdown: After joining Arsenal at the age of fourteen, Hillier impressed George Graham and made his first team debut in 1990, winning the league title the same year. Although never really being a regular starter during his Arsenal career, Hillier did play 43 games in 1992/3.

Borussia Monchengladbach Marco Reus and Mike Hanke decide free-kick duties with Rock, Paper, Scissors

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Schoolboy attacking There are not too many professions where key strategic decisions are made on the basis of the outcome of a playground game of chance. Just football and investment banking. Borussia Monchengladbach duo Marco Reus and Mike Hanke couldn't decide who should take a free-kick against Cologne, so they resorted the international argument settler [.

Borussia Monchengladbach Marco Reus and Mike Hanke decide free-kick duties with Rock, Paper, Scissors

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Schoolboy attacking There are not too many professions where key strategic decisions are made on the basis of the outcome of a playground game of chance. Just football and investment banking. Borussia Monchengladbach duo Marco Reus and Mike Hanke couldn't decide who should take a free-kick against Cologne, so they resorted the international argument settler [.

Video: Mario Balotelli yells in the face of Manchester City staff member

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Mario's very subtle practical joke But it's all in good humour. The Manchester City striker gave a club staff member a bit of a fright when he let out a shout as she opened a door in front of him. At least he didn't break the door down! Spotted on 101GG


Video: Mario Balotelli yells in the face of Manchester City staff member

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Mario's very subtle practical joke But it's all in good humour. The Manchester City striker gave a club staff member a bit of a fright when he let out a shout as she opened a door in front of him. At least he didn't break the door down! Spotted on 101GG


AC Milan’s Alexandre Pato, Robinho and Thiago Silva singing on a train

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Milan's Groove Train AC Milan's Brazilian contingent helped to pass the time for themselves at least on a recent train journey by treating their team-mates to a rendition of Ai Se Eu Te Pego (Ah When I Get My Hands On You) by Brazilian pop star Michel Telo. Pato, Robinho and Thiago Silva [...]


AC Milan’s Alexandre Pato, Robinho and Thiago Silva singing on a train

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Milan's Groove Train AC Milan's Brazilian contingent helped to pass the time for themselves at least on a recent train journey by treating their team-mates to a rendition of Ai Se Eu Te Pego (Ah When I Get My Hands On You) by Brazilian pop star Michel Telo. Pato, Robinho and Thiago Silva [...]


Tongan striker denied by waterlogged goalmouth

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Raining on his parade One of the things we sadly miss about the commercialisation of our beautiful game is games played on awful pitches. It was football's greatest leveller, and made two things much easier: 1. Non-league sides causing amazing giantkillings 2. The creation of 'comedy' football videos However, when Tonga met the Cook Islands [.

Brazilian star Neymar receives some impressive fan mail

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The Royal Male If you were in any way unsure as to how popular Neymar is in Brazil, then the above image should demonstrate sufficiently. As Neymar explained on Twitter, the above is one letter from three fans, a letter which rolls out to an impressive 1km when fully unfurled. Neymar described the fans as [.

Top five worst Premier League Movember moustaches

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1. Anton Ferdinand (QPR) 2. Mark Lawrenson (MOTD) 3. Ryan Shawcross (Stoke) 4. Glenn Whelan (Stoke) 5. Heidar Helguson (QPR)


Top five best Premier League Movember moustaches

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1. Jonathan Walters (Stoke) 2. Shaun Derry (QPR) 3. Danny Higginbotham (Stoke) 4. Andy Wilkinson (Stoke) 5. David Meyler (Sunderland)


Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 26-27 November

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1. [A one conclusion silence for Gary Speed. His sad passing and its effect on many of the players on display yesterday put things into perspective.] 2. Rio Ferdinand's defending has been so below par this season in between his injuries that the linesman just assumed he must have mistimed what was actually a fantastic [.

Benoit Assou Ekotto in Emmanuel Adebayor’s human wind tunnel

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Windswept Tottenham striker Emmanuel Adebayor flaps his arms and generates a powerful wind tunnel allowing team-mate Benoit Assou Ekotto to put his afro to the test. OK, you rumbled us: this is a spurious excuse to showcase the Spurs left-back's increasingly spectacular hair. OTP has only just noticed Assou Ekotto's odd boots combo.

Wales manager Gary Speed dead at 42

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RIP Speedo Wales manager Gary Speed has been found dead at the age of 42 after apparently committing suicide. The ex-Leeds, Everton, Newcastle, Bolton and Sheffield United player was reportedly found hanged at his home in Huntington, on the outskirts of Chester. The 42-year-old played more than 500 games and, having moved into management, was [.

Video: Referee gives dodgy penalty at OId Trafford shock horror (Manchester United 1-1 Newcastle United)

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szólj hozzá: Ma1-1Ne[Matchhighlight.com] It's yet another dodgy decision at Old Trafford... but this time it went to the away team. In truth, Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand clearly got the ball, and how neither the referee nor his assistant spotted this is fairly ridiculous. Still, we bet City were happy.

Rio Ferdinand, Vassili Berezoutski and karma responsible for Man Utd defender Phil Jones’ own goal

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Jones keeping up with the Berezoutskis szólj hozzá: M0-1S Manchester United youngster Phil Jones has blamed defensive colleague Rio Ferdinand for his midweek Champions League own goal against Roma. The wonderkid revealed he had been laughing at CSKA Moscow defender Vassili Berezoutski following his comedy own goal in the early kick-off on Tuesday evening.

Video: Roma’s Osvaldo does a Rooney (nearly)

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Flag FAIL Roma forward Osvaldo smacked a crisp bicycle kick into the net against Lecce last week. Cop a load of this. While Osvaldo was doing a Rooney, the assistant referee was doing a disservice to fans of the game everywhere. He flagged for offside and the goal was disallowed. If you pause the video [.

Video: Red Star Belgrade score wonder backheel volley

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Bru-no you want me If you are on loan at a club then you want to impress to try and get a permanent deal. But when Red Star Belgrade decided to play loanee Bruno Mezenge in their Serbian Cup game against Smederevo, they probably didn't expect him to impress them to this extent. Brazilian Mezenge [...

OTP Stoppage Time: Episode 12

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This week's show revolves around the theme of disguises and imposters (and owls). Who are those two suave moustachio-ed gentlemen who have kidnapped Ben and Paddy and stolen their places on the sofa? [Rush and Aldridge by the looks of it. Ed.] Why have the doppelgangers left Alex alone? How easy is it to blag [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 26-27 November

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Our weekly Bet's be 'avin you betting column is back and walking tall after we made a solid £98 return from our £15 Saturday stake last week, with Manchester City, Everton, Sheffield United and Crawley doing the business for us. Even the most rudimentary of maths will tell you that those return meant that we [.

Top four ways Andre Villas-Boas can turn it round at Chelsea

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Some pointers for AVB By the end of Wednesday evening and after a 2-1 loss in Leverkusen, nothing could mask the eruption of crisis talk surrounding the Stamford Bridge club. Not even the assortment of face masks on display Andre Villas-Boas's job hangs in the balance and so do the contracts of many of the [.

Over-eager Korean teenager bombards Bath City with job application emails

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Bath 1, Won 0 OTP doesn't know if youth unemployment is as big a problem in South Korea as it is over here, but you can't knock this South Korean teenager for his perseverance in pursuit of gainful employment. Won Jae Yang, aged 17, has set his sights on his dream job as manager of [...]


And the winner of the OTP Heineken StarPlayer League is…

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... Brad Gregory. Congratulations to Brad who triumphed over the two nights of the Heineken Star Player League this week by predicting the outcome of events in the Napoli v Manchester City match and the Bayer Leverkusen v Chelsea game in the Champions League. Brad is now on his way well, not just yet [.

New Rangers signing Sone Aluko reveals transfer cost him £200,000

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Personal transfer fee Sone Aluko has revealed that he, his friends and family had to stump up £200,000 to complete his move to Rangers. The 22-year-old's transfer was on the verge of collapse when the champions refused to stump up the compensation being demanded by his former club Aberdeen. According to the Daily Record: Faced [.

What is Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger getting Alex Song to do?

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Hands on coach Arsene Wenger has always been praised for the revolutionary training regimes he brought to English football, but this is a new one on us. There's no indication of whether the whole squad takes part in this exercise or whether it's Alex Song's special way of securing a starting berth in the Gunners' [.

The world is watching: A huge weekend for…

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Stoke City So when does a blip become a rut? And when does a slight worry become a deep-rooted concern? Stoke have now lost their last five domestic games, and these have included games that they would hope to have taken points from: QPR (h), Bolton (a), Newcastle (h, Liverpool (h) and Arsenal (a). They [.

Indian cricketer Rahul Dravid shows off his football skills to avoid getting out

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All-round sportsman If all volleys on the football pitch were done with cricket balls there would no doubt be a few more metatarsal injuries. But Inidan cricket star Rahul Dravid didn't mind doing it as a one-off to keep his wicket intact in the third test against the West Indies. Some fancy footwork, we're sure [.

Indian cricketer Rahul Dravid shows off his football skills to avoid getting out

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All-round sportsman If all volleys on the football pitch were done with cricket balls there would no doubt be a few more metatarsal injuries. But Inidan cricket star Rahul Dravid didn't mind doing it as a one-off to keep his wicket intact in the third test against the West Indies. Some fancy footwork, we're sure [.

American Samoa slays its demons with first win

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Victory, at last Just 10 years ago American Samoa were a footballing joke after being mauled 31-0 by Australia in a World Cup qualifier, a result that still stands as the most one-sided full international in history. And frankly their entire international record hasn't been much of a party either with the Pacific side managing [.

Naked Ronaldinho webcam video posted online

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Joga Bonito A video showing Brazilian star Ronaldinho, erm, working on his solo skills has been leaked. The footage of the ex-Barcelona star and his laptop enjoying some alone time in the bathroom were posted on YouTube and, although the original video has since been removed, has now spread around the internet.

Goal-line technology in the Premier League next season?

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No help to Pedro Mendes It is a debate that has rumbled on for years, but it appears that goal-line technology has come a step closer to being introduced into the Premier League. FA Secretary Alex Horne has announced that systems are currently being thoroughly tested, and that there would be a change in the [.

David Beckham plays blind football, misses two penalties

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Blindfolded Becks David Beckham might be weighing up his options at present, but a move into blind football looks unlikely based on his first attempts at the sport. The ex-England skipper missed three penalties while blindfolded, before finding the net with his third and final effort.


Ten Spoof Football Twitter Accounts

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And their funniest recent tweet 1. Jamie Redknapp LiterallyJamie "To cheer Dad up, we've bought him some new golf clubs. His old clubs have now gone into administration" 2. Tony Pulis Tony_Pulis "Remember that Friends episode when joey & chandler became bracelet buddies?well Rory Delap is in for a surprise when he comes [.

Chelsea’s Petr Cech and Bayer Leverkusen’s Michael Ballack compare face masks

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It isn't just one man, damn it. It's ZORRO(s). For a while last night it looked like there was going to be more face masks than goals during the Champions League match between Chelsea and Bayer Leverkusen. Petr Cech's almost looks like part of the furniture now. You're so used to seeing him in the [.

Chelsea’s Petr Cech and Bayer Leverkusen’s Michael Ballack compare face masks

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It isn't just one man, damn it. It's ZORRO(s). For a while last night it looked like there was going to be more face masks than goals during the Champions League match between Chelsea and Bayer Leverkusen. Petr Cech's almost looks like part of the furniture now. You're so used to seeing him in the [.

Hard Tackle: Pep Guardiola kisses Massimiliano Allegri (Barcelona v AC Milan)

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Smooch from Pep Aw, isn't that nice. OTP is not convinced there were too many kisses after a few of the tackles had flown in early in last night's match between AC Milan and Barcelona. We know there must be genuine affection between Pep Guardiola and Massimiliano Allegri because Pep can be quite choosy about [.

Hard Tackle: Pep Guardiola kisses Massimiliano Allegri (Barcelona v AC Milan)

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Smooch from Pep Aw, isn't that nice. OTP is not convinced there were too many kisses after a few of the tackles had flown in early in last night's match between AC Milan and Barcelona. We know there must be genuine affection between Pep Guardiola and Massimiliano Allegri because Pep can be quite choosy about [.

Ashley Cole, Joe Cole and Sam Allardyce set to feature in Danny Dyer movie

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Big Sam Oscar winner? In an ideal world the rumours that Danny Dyer is making another movie would be totally unfounded, never mind the fact that the film is set to feature cameo performances from Ashley Cole, Joe Cole and Sam Allardyce. The film, Played, is set around the life of a fictional football [.

Barcelona bad boy Lionel Messi and his stuttering penalty run-up

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Tut, tut Out-of-control egomaniac Lionel Messi once again found himself on the wrong side of the law during last night's AC Milan v Barcelona match following this heinous penalty run-up. The Argentine star was booked for pausing during his run-up. The protestations from AC Milan's players ultimately proved to be fruitless as Messi duly dispatched [.

Video: Kevin Prince Boateng’s brilliant goal (AC Milan v Barcelona)

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Show Boateng Chelsea fans who were already on a bit of a downer before last night's match against Bayer Leverkusen would have been well advised to watch AC Milan v Barcelona instead. The action-packed encounter featured end-to-end attacking play, no end of incident and end five goals. Barca triumphed 2-3, but the pick of the [.

Manchester United defender Chris Smalling goes über camp for new photoshoot

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Model professional We hope this doesn't spell the end of Chris Smalling's fledgling Manchester United career. OTP has seen the pattern before: young starlet starts doing slightly effeminate photoshoots and then BAM! Fergie kicks a boot at your head and you're on your way to Real Madrid. Smalling has risked those outcomes to don eye [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 14 – Birthday Bonanza

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David Luiz's gallivanting run from centre-back ends on Oxford Street Ep.14 Birthday Bonanza! by Off The Post on Mixcloud After spending the international break sunning ourselves on faraway islands owned by Tom Cruise and trundling around the world's best golf courses, the Off The Post Podcast is refreshed and ready to launch itself two footed [.

Top five conclusions: Napoli 2-1 Manchester City (plus video highlights)

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1. You can buy and rotate an array of the world's most expensive attackers, but it's more effective to have three who link-up as well as Cavani, Hamsik and Lavezzi do. 2. Sky Sports might have stumbled upon a great late night football format during the match in which Ray Wilkins translates Mario Balotelli's Italian [.

Top five conclusions: Napoli 2-1 Manchester City (plus video highlights)

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1. You can buy and rotate an array of the world's most expensive attackers, but it's more effective to have three who link-up as well as Cavani, Hamsik and Lavezzi do. 2. Sky Sports might have stumbled upon a great late night football format during the match in which Ray Wilkins translates Mario Balotelli's Italian [.

Napoli coach Walter Mazzarri overwhelmed by urge to snog his players

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Napoli's players got an unwelcome treat for beating Manchester City in last night's Champions League clash: some TLC from coach Walter Mazzarri. The jubilant boss decided that each member of his squad had merited a kiss after overcoming Roberto Mancini's side. He said: "Yes, I gave everyone a kiss in the dressing room.

Napoli coach Walter Mazzarri overwhelmed by urge to snog his players

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Napoli's players got an unwelcome treat for beating Manchester City in last night's Champions League clash: some TLC from coach Walter Mazzarri. The jubilant boss decided that each member of his squad had merited a kiss after overcoming Roberto Mancini's side. He said: "Yes, I gave everyone a kiss in the dressing room.

Video: Vassili Berezoutski scores spectacular half-volley own goal (CSKA Moscow v Lille)

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CSKA Moscow defender Vassili Berezoutski very kindly scores this sweet own goal on behalf of Lille last night. The ball is neatly worked in to the edge of the box, Lille striker Moussa Sow brings the ball under control and tees the ball up perfectly for Berezoutski to let fly into the roof of the [..

Darren Ferguson makes unexpected goalscoring comeback for Manchester United

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Sorry, Darren, I always Fergetcher name Sir Alex Ferguson chose last night's Champions League clash with Benfica to give a second crack at Manchester United first-team football to his 39-year-old son and current Peterborough manager Darren Ferguson... or so the BBC would have you believe. The reporter on last night's news got a bit confused [.

Video: Manchester City’s Samir Nasri and his crazy multi-coloured underwear

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A pants display from City Manchester City's Champions League campaign is teetering on the edge of disaster after last night's 2-1 defeat to Napoli. But the loss was not the biggest embarrassment of the night. No, that honour was reserved for sub Samir Nasri, who displayed some very interesting boxer shorts before joining the action.

Aston Villa striker Darren Bent takes on Kasabian in a real-life football video game

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'What does that even mean?' I hear you ask. It means that Darren Bent and Kasabian frontman Tom Meighan were both handed a five-a-side team to control. Literally. The players were kitted out with some fancy headgear which instructed them to strike, tackle, cross, dribble, slide, pass as directed by Bent and Meighan from their [.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #11 Dariusz Kubicki

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Name: Dariusz Kubicki In his 1990s prime for: Sunderland Lowdown: Although originally arriving on these shores at Villa Park, after nine years at Legia Warsaw, the international defender struggled to hold down a steady place in the Aston Villa side as they finished second in the inaugural Premier League season.

Tottenham defender Sebastien Bassong is the world’s worst soldier

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Left, right, left, right Unassuming Spurs defender Sebastien Bassong was making his way to the warm the bench for last night's win over Aston Villa when he found his route unexpectedly narrowed by representatives from the Army who led the teams out as part of the Tickets for Troops scheme. Visibly taken aback at first, [.

Granada v Real Mallorca abandoned after linesman gets hit by umbrella

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Brolly bad luck The La Liga match between Granada and Real Mallorca was called off after an assistant referee was struck by an umbrella. The linesman was left with a deep cut to his cheek after being hit by the stray accessory. After spotting his bleeding colleague, the referee immediately took all the match officials [.

Real Madrid website features Cristiano Ronaldo getting mooned by a Valencia fan

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Background backside Real Madrid's official photographer captured this photo of the players celebrating Cristiano Ronaldo's late winner against Valencia on Saturday. And it captured the moment so wonderfully that the club website wasn't going to let the presence of a stray Valencian arse stop it being used.

Runaway Manchester City star Carlos Tevez finds new job as pyjama model

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Nice pants His mammoth wages and Manchester City's asking price seems to have stalled all the options for Carlos Tevez to continue his career at another football club. But he has found alternative employment as a pyjama model. The Argentine has been hanging around South American golf courses showing off his leisurewear.

Iker Casillas gets his ankles spray painted (Valencia v Real Madrid)

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Some great Spanish sock-painting Real Madrid keeper Iker Casillas had to become a victim of graffiti in order to take to the field for his side's match against Valencia on Saturday. The Spain international was spray painted to get his kit to meet the referee's expectations. The match officials were not happy at a considerable [.

Video: Real Madrid keeper Iker Casillas shows off his card trick

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P-Iker card. Any card Move over Dynamo. Football has a new magician and his name is Iker Casillas. The Real Madrid keeper has been showing off his card tricks. Unusually for a Real player, the card trick doesn't involve him picking up a red card and magically being suspended for a dead rubber match!


Lionel Messi, David Silva and Ashley Young check their stats with Adidas f50 miCoach boots

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As we mentioned the other day, Adidas' boot with a brain is now with us. The f50 miCoach monitors the performance of the wearer during matches using a speed cell inserted under the insole of the boot. OTP has already received its boots (see photo below), so now lesser mortals such as Lionel Messi, David [.

Cologne v Mainz postponed due to ref’s suicide attempt

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Ref saved by assistants The Bundesliga match between Cologne and Mainz had to be called off at the weekend after the referee attempted to take his own life hours before kick-off. Babak Rafati was due to officiate the game and was expected to meet with the other match officals at 1.30pm. The assistant referees and [.

David Beckham wins the MLS Cup (LA Galaxy 1-0 Houston Dynamo)

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Silverwareballs In what appears to signal the natural end to his American adventure, David Beckham has won his first title in the States as LA Galaxy won the MLS Cup. Beckham's flicked header to Robbie Keane and the Irishman's deft assist allowed Landon Donovan to score the only goal of the game as Galaxy defeated [.

Video: Jose Mourinho’s gallop and piggyback celebration (Valencia 2-3 Real Madrid)

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Jose goes riding Real Madrid has a topsy-turvy encounter with Valencia on Saturday evening. Despite taking the lead three times in the 3-2 victory, it took a late goal from Cristiano Ronaldo to secure the three points. When CR7 did find the net his manager, Jose Mourinho, could not contain his relief.

Video: Emmanuel Eboue gets pelted with missiles (Besiktas v Galatasaray)

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They only booed me at the Emirates Former Arsenal cult hero Emmanuel Eboue got a vicious welcome to Turkey from Besiktas fans at the weekend. Just a handful of games into his Galatasaray career, the Ivorian found out the hard way that matches between the two sides tend to get a bit tasty. A plastic [.

Blackburn score cheat goal against Wigan – video

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Wigan-na appeal the decision It's fair to say that Blackburn needed to gain at least a point yesterday for Steve Kean to avoid receiving his P45 this week, but I'm not sure too many people thought that he was the kind of manager that would cheat his way to a draw. However, that's exactly what [...]


Blackburn score cheat goal against Wigan – video

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Wigan-na appeal the decision It's fair to say that Blackburn needed to gain at least a point yesterday for Steve Kean to avoid receiving his P45 this week, but I'm not sure too many people thought that he was the kind of manager that would cheat his way to a draw. However, that's exactly what [...]


Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 19-20 November

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Andre Marriner, hang your head in shame 1. Blackburn managed to save a late point at Wigan, but in doing so probably meant Steve Kean keeps his job for another week. So the big question for Rovers' fans is would you rather have lost and him go? 2. It showed the lack of quality in [...]


Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 19-20 November

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Andre Marriner, hang your head in shame 1. Blackburn managed to save a late point at Wigan, but in doing so probably meant Steve Kean keeps his job for another week. So the big question for Rovers' fans is would you rather have lost and him go? 2. It showed the lack of quality in [...]


Which is the best goal of the year? You decide…

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FIFA have released their nominations for the Puskas Award, which awards a prize to the best goal of the year. Cristiano Ronaldo won the inaugural award in 2009, and last year's prize went to Hamit Altintop. FIFA released a statement saying: Every goal has been chosen for its aesthetic quality and the importance of the [.

Wojciech Szczesny busted for trying to cheat with glamour model

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Do you take it up the Arsenal Footballers cheating on their wives and girlfriends has become something of a trend over the last few seasons. Arsenal's Polish goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny has managed to ingratiate himself with his teammates by doing the same as his English counterparts. However, Szczesny failed in spectacular fashion when sending a [.

Emile Heskey’s fiancee practices cooking Christmas dinner – FAIL

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Time Tagoe to cookery school Football WAGs have a bad reputation for domestic chores. They are untouchable at attending cocktail parties, carrying handbags and getting their nails done, but when it comes to cooking unbelievable food. If you think I am being sexist then watch a recent edition of WAGs Come Dine With Me for [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 19-20 November

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We are back to the betting uncertainty of domestic football, and it is truly back in style with seventeen games from across Europe across Sky, ESPN and the BBC. I personally will be taking advantage by setting up an Everest Base Camp style den on my sofa. The first bet takes into account three form [.

Manchester United fan desperate to flog Sergio Aguero personalised plate

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A Manchester United supporter has revealed he is desperate to sell a personalised Sergio Aguero registration plate he bought when he was certain the Argentine striker would move to Old Trafford. Banker Dafydd Ryder Owen is keen to ditch the KUN 16 plate after frequent jibes about Aguero's move to rivals Manchester City.

The World is Watching. A Huge Weekend for…

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Including two clashes of the flops Flop Strikers Undoubtedly the game of the weekend sees Chelsea take on Liverpool at Stamford Bridge. In truth, it is a game that neither side can afford to lose, as a defeat would see Chelsea potentially 12 points behind Manchester City and Liverpool six points off the top four [.

Win tickets to see Manchester City v Bayern Munich

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Competition time One lucky OTP reader will win a pair of tickets to the Manchester City v Bayern Munich match at Eastlands on 7 December. We're still talking about events from last time the two teams met, so it promises to be a great match. We've teamed up with Heineken StarPlayer to offer this fantastic [.

Video: Irish fan blags his way onto the Estonia bench for Republic of Ireland play-off

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A ticketless Republic of Ireland fan has revealed how he not only blagged his way into the stadium for their Euro 2012 playoff first-leg in Estonia, but ended up sitting next to the home team's coach! Conor Cunningham was outside the stadium in Tallinn when he noticed an open door. Unwilling to pay the sums [.

Video: Sepp Blatter identifies true discrimination

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I'm sorry I tried to ban your trumpet. Handshake? Sure, racially approve your opponents on the pitch just don't you dare try to ban the vuvuzela. Sepp knows discrimination when he sees it and he will not stand for it.


The Premier League Alter Ego XI

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Not to be taken too seriously GK – Paul Robinson The Blackburn goalkeeper has retired from international duty, presumably due to the time taken commuting from 22 Ramsay Street, Australia. Add this to also owning the Erinsborough news, and it's a wonder Robbo finds time for footy at all. RB – Glen Johnson Often criticised [.

The Premier League Alter Ego XI

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Not to be taken too seriously GK – Paul Robinson The Blackburn goalkeeper has retired from international duty, presumably due to the time taken commuting from 22 Ramsay Street, Australia. Add this to also owning the Erinsborough news, and it's a wonder Robbo finds time for footy at all. RB – Glen Johnson Often criticised [.

Owl takes pride of place in Colombia v Venezuela

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Keeper makes a 'owler If you have been watching Frozen Planet on the Beeb recently, you will be aware of some of the incredible footage of animals at extreme North and South of our planet. However, it appears that a Colombian owl has got a touch jealous of its polar cousins, and decided to gain [...]


Owl takes pride of place in Colombia v Venezuela

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Keeper makes a 'owler If you have been watching Frozen Planet on the Beeb recently, you will be aware of some of the incredible footage of animals at extreme North and South of our planet. However, it appears that a Colombian owl has got a touch jealous of its polar cousins, and decided to gain [...]


Top 10 laughable Sepp Blatter quotes

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The best of the worst of Blatter 1. "He should say that this is a game. We are in a game, and at the end of the game, we shake hands, and this can happen, because we have worked so hard against racism and discrimination." Yesterday's advice to the victims of on-field racism. 2. "Let [...]


Top 10 laughable Sepp Blatter quotes

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The best of the worst of Blatter 1. "He should say that this is a game. We are in a game, and at the end of the game, we shake hands, and this can happen, because we have worked so hard against racism and discrimination." Yesterday's advice to the victims of on-field racism. 2. "Let [...]


Rihanna’s Arsenal joke at Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe’s expense

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Jermain to say I'm a Gunner? Popstar Rihanna enjoyed a bit of north London banter ahead of her performance at the O2 this week when she met Tottenham striker Jermain Defoe backstage. She told Defoe: "Oh, Jermain, you play for Arsenal, yeah? I've heard all about you. The Mirror reports an awkward silence followed, broken [.

Sepp Blatter: ‘Shake hands with racists. It’s only a game’

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Sepp. Again. FIFA president Sepp Blatter has offered some advice to players who fall victim to racist abuse on the pitch. In his own inimitable style, Sepp suggested that anyone who experiences racism on the pitch should shake hands with their opponent and accept that football is a game. He said: "There is no racism, [.

Czech porn star Klarisa Leone to open her own football club

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Career change A Czech porn star is set to make the move to football by starting her own football club. Klarisa Leone, aged 32, implausibly intends to name the new team Inter Prague in honour of her favourite club (as indicated by the image above). She told The Sun: "I've loved my career in porn [...]


Video: Slow motion rugby tackle in UAE v Kuwait match

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Wrong sport Watch this footage from the World Cup qualifier between the United Arab Emirates and Kuwait and see if you can spot Ali Abbas' subtle tug on opponent Bader Al Mutawa. The eagle-eyed referee somehow spotted the incident and dished out a yellow card to Abbas. Harsh.


Video: Lionel Messi takes a point-blank blast to the head

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Messi clearance After years spent bossing footballs, Lionel Messi finally found out what it's like when the ball fights back during yesterday's match between Argentina and Colombia. The matchball smashed into Messi's head from very close quarters with a little guidance from Gustavo Bolívar.


OTP Podcast: Episode Nothing – Old Gold

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Old Gold by Off The Post on Mixcloud Taking a leaf out of Carlos Tevez's book, the OTP Podcast is missing in action this week. Indeed, it's the winter break that the Pod team has long been calling for and will surely lead to a spring in our audio steps leading up to next summer. [...]


Wayne Rooney hires architects to design garden shed

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Shed heaven Manchester United star Wayne Rooney has reportedly hired a top architectural practice to design a garden shed for him. The 26-year-old has called in Pulmann Associates Architects to help with his 7m x 4m wooden hideaway. A source told The Sun: "It is quite a basic structure. Most people would simply go to [.

Video: Manchester City’s Mario Balotelli manages to change into the wrong Italy kit at half-time

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Out with the new and in with the old Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli is not unacquainted with wardrobe malfunctions (who could forget his bib antics), but this moment from Italy's match against Uruguay is particularly puzzling. Having played the first half in the correct attire, Balotelli emerged for the second period wearing Italy's old [.

Video: Manchester City’s Mario Balotelli manages to change into the wrong Italy kit at half-time

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Out with the new and in with the old Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli is not unacquainted with wardrobe malfunctions (who could forget his bib antics), but this moment from Italy's match against Uruguay is particularly puzzling. Having played the first half in the correct attire, Balotelli emerged for the second period wearing Italy's old [.

The worst Premier League team of the season so far XI

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The Prem's early season no-hopers OTP has already given you the best team of the Premier League season so far, but now it's time to look at the other end of the scale. Let's focus on the players that have made us laugh with howling misses and tickled our funny bones with woeful performances. This [..

The worst Premier League team of the season so far XI

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The Prem's early season no-hopers OTP has already given you the best team of the Premier League season so far, but now it's time to look at the other end of the scale. Let's focus on the players that have made us laugh with howling misses and tickled our funny bones with woeful performances. This [..

Video: Republic of Ireland fan moons RTE studio during Estonia

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Arse-TE Football stadium TV studios are always a prime target for cheeky supporters, but it is usually the fans seated directly behind the studio who indulge in this behaviour. Not this Republic of Ireland fan though, who marched into the middle of the pitch to moon in the general direction of the RTE studio during [.

Top five conclusions: England 1-0 Sweden

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1. 1-0 to the Eng-ger-land. Who said the defensive approach was just for the Spain game? Jack Rodwell, Gareth Barry and Phil Jones in midfield. Now if we could just replace Theo Walcott and Stewart Downing with Scott Parker and Lee Cattermole to add a bit more stability. 2. Hopefully the goal will be given [.

Damien Duff national anthem FAIL (Republic of Ireland v Estonia)

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Sing it, Damien Fulham winger Damien Duff didn't get a copy of the memo passed around the Republic of Ireland camp today that said they were not doing their sideways national anthem routine ahead of this evening's Euro 2012 qualification play-off against Estonia. Conveniently positioned at the end of the line-up and with his eyes [.

Dog bemused as Cesc Fabregas hides football behind his TV

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This golden retriever puppy was settling in to enjoy a bit of Saturday evening telly, but that pesky Cesc Fabregas chap decided to kick a football behind his TV. Even the dog couldn't understand how the Barcelona midfielder failed to find the net.


Bradford City’s 2012 calendar has a Hull City player on the cover

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That Bantam's a Tiger Here's the Bradford City 2012 calendar: the perfect Christmas present for Bantams supporters. And Hull fans too, it would seem. A lazy designer has created a cover for the calendar that features an array of Bradford player, plus Hull City's Dele Adebola. The mix-up happened because the photo of Adebola [.

Five ways for Michael Owen to stay entertained

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The hamstrings that keep on giving With the news that Michael Owen is to be out for another six weeks with injury (surprise, surprise), OTP gives him five tips on keeping busy: Witchcraft Clearly Owen is already a dab hand at the dark arts, because there is no other explanation for Fergie's renewal of his [.

‘Do Are Ya? Neymar stayed at Santos to stop Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho chopping his hair off

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Would the Special One have taken his Braun to the mohawk? The president of Brazilian side Santos has revealed he convinced star youngster Neymar to stay at the club by claiming Jose Mourinho was planning to make him cut his distinctive hair once he signed for Real Madrid. The Brazil star was widely tipped to [.

Video: Adidas f50 miCoach ‘boot with a brain’ in action

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You might recall that in the summer OTP witnessed some strange going on with a blacked out Adidas 'boot with a brain'. That boot has since become the Adidas f50 miCoach, which allows players to track performance on the pitch. See it in action in the video above.


Video: Adidas f50 miCoach ‘boot with a brain’ in action

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You might recall that in the summer OTP witnessed some strange going on with a blacked out Adidas 'boot with a brain'. That boot has since become the Adidas f50 miCoach, which allows players to track performance on the pitch. See it in action in the video above.


England boils over with frustration at not mashing the Swedes

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England face Sweden at Wembley tonight in what the FA would describe as another ‘vital' friendly. But look into the history of the two nations and one statistic jumps out: England cannot beat those Swedes! It was a friendly at Wembley on May 22, 1968, when we last recorded a win over them. Since then, [.

Video: Fabio Santos’ shrubbery celebration fail (Vitoria v Criciuma)

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Next goalscorer? Hedge your bets You don't get too many hedges at football grounds, so perhaps that explains how Vitoria's Fabio Santos got caught out during his side's match against Criciuma. After finding the net, Santos wanted to celebrate with the supporters. But the stadium greenery had other ideas.

Top five conclusions: England 1-0 Spain

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Inglaterra 1 España 0 by jordixana 1. This is the conclusion where we say that England are now effectively world and European champions and leave it to you to decide just how tongue-in-cheek that is. 2. Judging by how long it takes for him to remember the names of players, Fabio Capello must start naming [.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #10 Ilie Dumitrescu

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Name: Ilie Dumitrescu In his 1990s prime for: Tottenham Hotspur, West Ham United Lowdown: Signed for Spurs from Steaua Bucharest in 1994, where he had become a club hero. Internationally, he had recently helped Romania to the quarter-final of the World Cup, including scoring two goals in a 3-2 win against Argentina.

Newport fans abuse their own players

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Sweet FA intelligence The magic of the FA Cup should ensure that fans of non-league clubs rally round to create an intimidating atmosphere for their opponents, helping to establish the 12th man mentality. However, fans of Newport County did the opposite thing whilst watching their side lose out to Shrewsbury Town yesterday lunchtime.

Gary Neville revealed to be a Scouser

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We always knew what that horrible 'tache meant Gary Neville was once quoted as saying: I can't stand Liverpool, I can't stand the people, I can't stand anything to do with them. He played by those rules when playing for Man United, but last night made the mistake of appearing on Sky One comedy show [.

Video: Wales concede comedy goal v Norway

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Butterfingers Wales let Norway back into their friendly clash this afternoon after a howler from Wolves keeper Wayne Hennessey. Collecting a simple ball into the box, Hennessey fumbled the ball forwards into the shins of defender Darcy Blake. Norway's Eric Huseklepp was left with the simple task of tapping the ball into the empty net.

Mario Balotelli scores a wonder goal for Italy

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Quite frankly you have to have a heart of stone if you don't like Mario Balotelli. That's not even an opinion, it's just fact. It may come as some surprise, however, that until last night Super Mario has not scored for his country. With the form he is on for Manchester City, though, it came [...]


‘Do Are Ya? Jon Walters and his magnificent handlebar moustache

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Nice work, Jonathan


OTP Stoppage Time: Episode 11

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Week after week, planet football delivers magic moments that deserve a wider audience. Prior to the invention of YouTube, those wonderous nuggets would have been lost in time, remembered only by those brave souls who attend matches in the violence-blighted Argentinian Fourth Division. But not any more and this week is no exception.

Musical Yeovil Town best man’s speech becomes YouTube hit

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A musical best man's speech dedicated to the Yeovil Town-supporting groom has become a big hit after being uploaded to YouTube. Glovers mad Matt Tilley received the (mainly) tuneful tribute at his wedding to Nicola. Best man Mark Southern reworked Yeovil's 2004 FA Cup song Yeovil True, calling upon several members of the groom's friends [.

Sir Les Ferdinand turns in his grave at BBC Gossip Column

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The third footballing Ferdinand? Has Sir Les just been written out of history. Sort it out, Beeb.


The Premier League team of the season so far XI

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The Prem's early season dream team During this tedious international break, many of us will spend our weekend without our usual fix of Premier League action and have to watch England be crushed by the football machine that is Spain. So, during the interruption let's think which players have made our football-filled weekends a joy [.

Cristiano Ronaldo gives middle finger salute to laser-wielding Bosnia fans

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Ron-fingered gesture Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo was snapped giving the finger to Bosnia supporters while on international duty with Portugal. The ex-Manchester United man reacted when the supporters shone a laser pen on him during a training session in Sarajevo. Ronaldo has come in for a tough time since arriving in Bosnia.

The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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Go against your instinct, it isn't a quiet weekend Giovanni Trapattoni The Italian coach has received a great deal of criticism throughout his tenure, primarily because the Irish have played some fairly tedious football against a range of opposition teams. However, given that the country have not qualified for a major tournament since 2002 and [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 11-12 November

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International week actually provides a weekend of respite for the football gambler at the moment. With results being more unpredictable than a Conrad Murray dosage (it's fine, he's been found guilty) at a domestic level, the accumulator becomes king when low odds reign supreme. So first bet this week focuses on the friendlies on offer [.

Manchester City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak scores classy hat-trick

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Carlos who? Manchester City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak led the line in a manner Edin Dzeko would be proud of as he helped a United Arab Emirates All Stars team to victory in a charity match. The clinical targetman coolly rounded the keeper for his first before finishing with aplomb for his second. He was [.

Manchester City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak scores classy hat-trick

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Carlos who? Manchester City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak led the line in a manner Edin Dzeko would be proud of as he helped a United Arab Emirates All Stars team to victory in a charity match. The clinical targetman coolly rounded the keeper for his first before finishing with aplomb for his second. He was [.

Video: Liverpool’s Martin Kelly thinks he’s Lionel Messi (England U21 v Spain U21)

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Nice goal, Martin Liverpool defender Martin Kelly got a bit confused during last night's match between England Under 21s and Spain Under 21s. He suddenly thought he was a skillful attacker, dribbled past a few defenders and finished with ease. Kelly's was the pick of the goals as England ran out comfortable 5-0 winners in [.

Top five memorable England v Spain moments

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Ahead of tomorrow's friendly, OTP looks at some of the most memorable events in previous England v Spain meetings. 1. Stuart Pearce's penalty (Euro 96) Spain found themselves on the receiving end as Pyscho buried the ghost of his Italia 90 penalty miss. In the process he performed one of the most iconic sporting celebrations [.

Crystal Palace’s Andy Dorman accidentally drops down two tiers

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Dorman barred from League One Crystal Palace midfielder Andy Dorman has revealed he unintentionally move down two divisions because he thought Bristol Rovers were in League One when he made his loan move. Dorman agreed to leave his Championship side to get first-team football in the tier below, but has since discovered that Rovers are [.

England players happy with resolution to puppy row

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England players and the FA are pleased that a compromise has been reached in their puppy row with FIFA ahead of Saturday's friendly with Spain. The FA wanted England players to have puppies attached to their shirts for the match, but this was deemed to be in breach of FIFA rules. After a brief impasse, [.

‘Do Are Ya? Bromley players get QR code haircuts

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QR ya? Players from non-league Bromley are getting some interesting new haircuts ahead of their FA Cup tie against Leyton Orient on Saturday. Online betting site Betfair are sponsoring their players to have QR codes shaved into their hair! Midfielder Danny Waldren was the first player to entrust his barnet to Wayne Rooney's hairdresser for [.

You’ll be able to pick the Man of the Match at every FA Cup game this season

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#teryakiformotm English football's most traditional competition is leaping into the 21st century by introducing an interactive poll to pick the man of the match. Facebook and smart-phone users will be able to select the man of the match award at every FA Cup match this season and OTP spots trouble ahead.

Manchester United new sign – FAIL!

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Off with his head There was nothing but joy at Old Trafford lat weekend on the 25th anniversary of Alex Ferguson's appointment as Manchester United manager. Old Purple Nose walked onto the pitch with David Gill to the adoration of the faithful fans. Gill then pulled the proverbial rabbit out of the hat by surprising [.

What if all Premier League owners followed Mike Ashley’s lead?

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Renaming extravaganza If you're having a laugh at Newcastle fans and their newly renamed Sport Direct Arena ground this morning, just pause for a second and put yourself in their shoes. What would happen if you club's owner or majority shareholder decided to rename your stadium after one of their other business interests?

Fulham gave their players affair hotline mobiles

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Don't call us, we'll call you Fulham encouraged their players' extra-marital dalliances by providing them with mobiles to contact their mistresses, according to a new book. Former Danish tennis star Frederik Fetterlein, aged 41, makes the allegation in his new autobiography. He now works as a model and claims to have a friend within the [.

Mike Ashley keeps his popularity in check by renaming St James’ Park as the Sports Direct Arena

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Naming wrongs Concerned that Newcastle's meteoric rise to upper echelons of the Premier League might fully repair his once irreparable public image, Mike Ashley has decided to once again alienate the Geordie faithful by renaming St James' Park in honour of his sports shop. The stadium will now be known as the Sports Direct Arena.

Fabio Capello missing son’s wedding for England v Spain

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Manager's withdrawal from friendly would've been deemed step too far! England manager Fabio Capello will skip his youngest son's wedding in order to take the helm for England's friendly against Spain on Saturday, the FA has confirmed. Capello's 36-year-old son Pierfilippo will wed long-term partner, Tiziana, in Milan on the same day.

Chelsea keeper Petr Cech moves closer to full protective body suit

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Headgear. Cech. Facemask. Cech. Chest guard. Not yet. Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech spent a fair chunk of Saturday's match at Blackburn on the ground receiving treatment for a nose injury. He eventually got up and played on with a rather fetching nose bandage in place for the remainder of the game. Now he's emerged with [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 13 – Fergie Stands Tall

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Who's the Premier League's mystery Twirl buyer? Ep.13 Fergie Stands Tall by Off The Post on Mixcloud As Sir Alex Ferguson celebrates his 25th year in charge of Manchester United, the Off The Post Podcast has been receiving similar plaudits for successfully recording the 13th pod of the season. We may not have a stand [.

Video: Gerardo Masini scores outrageous rabona in Serie D (Teramo v San Nicolo)

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Who needs Messi when you've got Masini? What better way to set the fourth-tier of Italian football alight than with an incredible slalom run that Lionel Messi would be proud of, finished exquisitely by a self-indulgent rabona. That's precisely what Teramo's Gerardo Masini did during his side's match against San Nicolo last weekend.

David Beckham set to turn the air blue if he signs for Xoloitzcuintles Tijuana

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Language, David David Beckham has been the butt of a lot of jokes throughout his career for his inability to speak English. Nowadays, he's a cultured man of the world who has lived in Spain and Italy, but we still think he would struggle to greet his new fans if he signs for Mexican outfit [...]


Top five suggestions for the renamed Stamford Bridge

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And not a libellous reference in sight... Chelsea have revealed that they will sell the naming right to Stamford Bridge. So we choose five cracking options for sponsorship. So let's choose the best and campaign away: 5) Moscow State Circus Stadium With a Russian owner and all the managerial comings and goings over the last [.

Irish side Sligo Rovers bring on penalty specialist keeper to win the cup

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Sly goalkeeping sub Irish outfit Sligo Rovers secured victory in Sunday's FAI Cup Final against Shelbourne with an unorthodox stroke of tactical genius. Sligo chucked on substitute goalkeeper Ciaran Kelly, renowned as a bit of a penalty specialist, in the 119th minute of the match. With a penalty shootout looming, the gamble paid off.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #9 Regis Genaux

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Name: Regis Genaux In his 1990s prime for: Coventry City Lowdown: When Regis Genaux joined Coventry City from Standard Liege in the summer of 1996, he became only the third Belgian to play in the Premier League (prizes for getting both Philippe Albert and Marc Degryse as the other two). Having played for Standard Liege [.

Arsenal legend Lee Dixon stars in Frost / Dixon

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It must be international week: everyone has got far too much time on their hands. But some are putting the extra time to good use by producing spoof trailers for blockbuster films starring ex-Arsenal right-back and current BBC pundit Lee Dixon. This reworking of Frost / Nixon is light on Watergate scandal but features a [.

Video: Portsmouth fan eats imaginary fly on Soccer Saturday

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Tasty We saw this live during Soccer Saturday and now the gang at Pies have tracked down the videos for us to share with you. This Portsmouth fan found himself in the limelight during Paul Walsh's reports from Fratton Park... and he couldn't resist capitalising on his 15 minutes of fame. In the video above [.

Fiorentina’s Riccardo Montolivo thinks Italy’s flood deaths are hilarious

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Insensitive Ricc Fiorentina star Riccardo Montolivo has been forced to apologise after he was seen laughing during a minute's silence for the victims of flash floods in Italy. Six people died in the flooding in Genoa, but TV cameras caught Montolivo smirking during the tribute. He said: "I am ashamed of my smile during the [.

An Idiot Abroad: Blackburn boss Steve Kean is Karl Pilkington

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Little Englander is probably the bit that will offend him most This hilarious reworking of Sky One show An Idiot Abroad paints Steve Kean's tenure as manager of Blackburn Rovers as a cruel practical joke played on the club by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. Spotted on Mirror Football.


Top 10 things that have changed while Sir Alex Ferguson has been at Manchester United

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[A Quarter of a Century in] Football. Bloody Hell. Priding ourselves on our exclusives, OTP can bring you the following breaking news: Sir Alex Ferguson has been in situ at the helm of the Red Devils for 25 years. I know, you'd have thought more would have been made of it. To those who worship [...]


Chelsea star Frank Lampard invents the planking goal

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Who needs feet? Frank Lampard probably envisaged that he would be scoring a diving header when this cross came in during Chelsea's match at Blackburn on Saturday. But the ball was so low when it reached him that he was practically flat on the pitch by the time he headed the ball to score the [...]


Chelsea star Frank Lampard invents the planking goal

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Who needs feet? Frank Lampard probably envisaged that he would be scoring a diving header when this cross came in during Chelsea's match at Blackburn on Saturday. But the ball was so low when it reached him that he was practically flat on the pitch by the time he headed the ball to score the [...]


Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson vows to sack Mike Phelan over secret stand naming

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Phelan left out Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson celebrated 25 years in charge of the club on Saturday with a stand being renamed in his honour ahead of the match against Sunderland. But the unexpected mark of the occasion could signal the end of the Old Trafford career of one of his backroom staff.

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson vows to sack Mike Phelan over secret stand naming

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Phelan left out Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson celebrated 25 years in charge of the club on Saturday with a stand being renamed in his honour ahead of the match against Sunderland. But the unexpected mark of the occasion could signal the end of the Old Trafford career of one of his backroom staff.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 5-6 November

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1. Wes Brown demonstrated the loyalty that Sir Alex Ferguson has instilled in his players during his 25-year reign with an own goal winner for Manchester United. Having said that, if any Sunderland player had scored an own goal there would have been a pretty good chance the player in question was an ex-United player.

Tottenham create the girliest sounding goal celebration ever

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Squealing like a group of Justin Bieber fans Tottenham were delighted when Aaron Lennon's goal put them in the driving seat against Fulham yesterday afternoon. So much so that they found the nearest microphone and made a noise not dissimilar to a bunch of gobbling turkeys getting over-excited at a Women's Institute meeting.

Arsenal’s Andre Santos needs to work on his spelling

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Defender re-opens homophobia in football argument After Arsenal beat West Brom yesterday, new signing Andre Santos took to Twitter to celebrate the victory. Unfortunately, as English isn't Santos' first language he made something of a schoolboy error in his short tweet, as you can see. We can imagine two things will happen now: 1.

Ronaldo impresses the Asian market

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How do you like that one Delhi? Today was the first time a Spanish La Liga game had been played at midday, with the decision made to allow fans in Asian countries to take in the action. Cristiano Ronaldo took his opportunity to impress his adoring fans with his twelfth hat-trick for Real. That's TWELVE.

Blackburn fans hire plane to fly ‘Kean Out’ banner over Ewood Park

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Blackburn fans' stepped up their protest against manager Steve Kean by organising for a plane carrying a 'Steve Kean Out' banner to fly past during their match against Chelsea. Rovers supporters took to the skies to overcome a ban preventing them from bringing banners protesting against Kean to this afternoon's match.

Video: Tim Krul dives after Jack Rodwell’s header has hit the net (Newcastle v Everton)

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Too little, too late szólj hozzá: Ne2-1Ev You know when a cricketer gets out and they walk back to the pavilion practicing the stroke they should have played? We think that must be what Newcastle goalkeeper Tim Krul was up to here. Jack Rodwell's header has already gone past him and hit the back of [.

Aberdeen’s Darren Mackie the illiturate, no illiteerat, no ilitorat king of reading

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Follow the words with your finger, Darren There is a lot of high and mighty guff diatribed from disillusioned fans about how stupid football players are, and how detached they are from fans in our modern game. Credit therefore has to be given to Aberdeen's Darren Mackie for agreeing to be interviewed by a local [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 5-6 November

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Newcastle's unbeaten start to the season has been nothing short of miraculous, and should they beat Everton on Saturday lunchtime the toon army will be celebrating a side sitting second in the table. These are the heady days of Philippe Albert. Prices of substantially longer than evens look inviting.

Tottenham’s Jake Livermore: part-time steward

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Just missing his fluorescent jacket Jake Livermore is becoming an increasingly regular fixture in the Tottenham midfield. And that means that sooner or later he will have to give up his first love: match stewarding. But he indulged in a bit of on-pitch security action as he helped to detain a pitch invader during last [.

The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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Relegation candidates, the toon flying high and another day in the life of an England manager Andre Villas Boas Surely the biggest test of his managerial career to date? Whilst there is clearly an understanding around Stamford Bridge that the AVB project will be given time to succeed, defeats to QPR and Arsenal and a [.

Video: Samuel Inkoom sent-off for removing shirt during substitution

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Crazy red card from Ukraine This bizarre sending off comes from the Ukrainian league, where Dnipro's Samuel Inkoom is being substituted in the match against Karpaty. Inkoom, already booked, took his shirt off as he made his way to the touchline to be replaced by Evgeniy Shakhov. Before the substitution could be completed, the referee [.

Video: Samuel Inkoom sent-off for removing shirt during substitution

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Crazy red card from Ukraine This bizarre sending off comes from the Ukrainian league, where Dnipro's Samuel Inkoom is being substituted in the match against Karpaty. Inkoom, already booked, took his shirt off as he made his way to the touchline to be replaced by Evgeniy Shakhov. Before the substitution could be completed, the referee [.

What if football’s philosophers always had Twitter?

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Footballing philosophers Twitter. As well as boring us with Jay Bothroyd's plans for the evening (‘Watching Spartacus in bed, gonna have an early night I think') or Robbie Savage's Come Dancing insights (‘The wonderful miss Sue Barker loves the waltz she said " elegant"! Ohhhhhh Miss Barker') and a sporadic outburst or two by Aston [.

What if football’s philosophers always had Twitter?

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Footballing philosophers Twitter. As well as boring us with Jay Bothroyd's plans for the evening (‘Watching Spartacus in bed, gonna have an early night I think') or Robbie Savage's Come Dancing insights (‘The wonderful miss Sue Barker loves the waltz she said " elegant"! Ohhhhhh Miss Barker') and a sporadic outburst or two by Aston [.

Turkish Diego Maradona lookalike tricks Bayern Munich fans

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Fake Diego Like us, you probably thought that Diego Maradona was a one-off. But it turns out that there is a Turkish imposter Maradona and he has been cruelly fooling Bayern Munich supporters into thinking he is the real deal. Fake Diego, Abi Atici, was at Wednesday night's Champions League match between Bayern and Napoli [.

Mario Balotelli to be burnt on bonfire night

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The greatest photo you have ever seen? By rights I should apologise for even adding words to a picture of such greatness. But I do so only to bring you the news that the Kent Bonfire Society is planning to burn a guy of Mario Balotelli on November 5th at their local do. The local [...]


Giant Mario Balotelli effigy to be burnt for Bonfire Night

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Crazy Guy A 30ft statue of Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli is to be set alight on Saturday as part of the Bonfire Night celebrations. The huge effigy is the centrepiece of Edenbridge Bonfire Society's annual display. The Italian striker became this year's Bonfire pin-up boy after a bathroom-based fireworks extravaganza caused a serious fire [.

Top 10 items on David Beckham’s to do list

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Written with his Sharpie, naturally After David Beckham's declaration that he still has so much to achieve, OTP hired an ex-NOTW hack to do some "investigative journalism" (and let me tell you, American eavesdropping laws are a lot tougher than British ones) and find out just what he could possibly have in mind.

Are Emmanuel Adebayor’s wage demands the cause of Harry Redknapp’s heart op?

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"Marco Boogers never asked for that!" Harry Redknapp has always said that the Europa League was something of an irritation so perhaps it was no surprise that the Spurs boos should take the opportunity to sort his ‘ticker' out and avoid the long trip to face Rubin Kazan. In his place, Kevin Bond and Joe [.

Top five bizarre injuries

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Ouch! The sight of blood pouring everywhere over Sunderland goalkeeper Simon Mignolet showed that his broken nose was a serious injury. After all, it had been caused by Emile Heskey in Saturday's Premier League draw. But there have been plenty of bizarre breaks and injuries too... here are our top five.

Manchester United stars Wayne Rooney, Ryan Giggs and Patrice Evra show off their dreadful acting skills

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Intense, Wayne. Manchester United have been nurturing their reputation for starring in cringe-inducing advertising campaigns in foreign lands with this beaut for Chilean winemakers Casillero del Diablo. Neither Ryan Giggs nor Patrice Evra are likely to be picking up Oscar nominations for this, but Wayne Rooney's performance is just something else.

Top 10 most annoying clichés in football

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You'll literally love this article 10. At the end of the day... We all go to bed? Not used solely in sport, but football is a hotbed due to the unintelligence of many involved, and generally used by the Harry Redknapp geezer type. My issue with the phrase is that is hackneyed, over-used and utterly [.

David Beckham: ‘People said I was too old to play for England at 21′

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Old before his time David Beckham claims people thought he was too old to play for England just weeks after he had made his international debut. Talking up his prospects of playing in the London 2012 Olympics, the 36-year-old reckons some people had dismissed him as being past-it at the age of 21. He told [.

David Beckham: ‘People said I was too old to play for England at 21′

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Old before his time David Beckham claims people thought he was too old to play for England just weeks after he had made his international debut. Talking up his prospects of playing in the London 2012 Olympics, the 36-year-old reckons some people had dismissed him as being past-it at the age of 21. He told [.

Top 10 things John Terry never said to Anton Ferdinand

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Was Rio's manhood the cause of row? Don't you wish that Anton Ferdinand would just come out and say, "JT called me a ********"? For the average punter, all the smoke and mirrors FA investigation stuff is wearing a bit thin and the whole thing is dragging on for far too long. If this was [...]


Top 10 things John Terry never said to Anton Ferdinand

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Was Rio's manhood the cause of row? Don't you wish that Anton Ferdinand would just come out and say, "JT called me a ********"? For the average punter, all the smoke and mirrors FA investigation stuff is wearing a bit thin and the whole thing is dragging on for far too long. If this was [...]


Video: Roberto Mancini bangs his head on the dugout (Villarreal 0-3 Manchester City)

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On yer head, son Manchester City ran out as comfortable winners against Villarreal last night, but they didn't come through the match completely unscathed. Manager Roberto Mancini was left with a nasty bump on the head after banging his head on the Villarreal dugout. The usually suave Italian was forced to don an ice-pack as [.

Hard Tackle: Iranian footballers banned for “immoral” goal celebration

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Iran: where Vinnie Jones would be public enemy number one Two Iranian players have been suspended after touching up their team-mates during goal celebrations. Persepolis defender Mohammed Nosrati can be seen feeling the bottom of teammate Sheis Rezaei in the video above. Rezaei later squeezed the backside of another teammate in the match against Damash [.

Milan Mandaric denies he’s selling Sheffield Wednesday to a Playboy model

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Twit-twoo for the Owls Sheffield Wednesday chairman Milan Mandaric has rejected suggestions he is on the verge of selling the club to a former Playboy model. It had been reported that former model and actress Sybil Danning and her husband Horst Lasse were preparing a takeover. Danning told The Sun: "We have been looking into [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 12 – 5-3 RVP MVP

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Ep.12 5-3 RVP MVP by Off The Post on Mixcloud The Premier League keeps giving you goals, which means the Off The Post podcast is back to give you some entirely pointless observations and obscure statistics to go with them. While Arsenal have been shredding the Chelsea defence apart like an, erm, office shredder, the [.

Grieving Billy Sharp scores great volley after death of two-day-old son (Doncaster v Middlesbrough)

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Brave Billy Doncaster Rovers striker Billy Sharp got himself on the scoresheet against Middlesbrough last night just three days after the tragic death of his newborn son. Sharp bagged the opening goal in a 3-1 defeat to Middlesbrough despite mourning the loss of two-day-old son Luey Jacob. He wrote on Twitter: "My goal tonight was [.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #8 Dmitri Kharine

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Name: Dmitri Kharine In his 1990's prime for: Chelsea Lowdown: After joining Chelsea in the December of the first Premier League season, Russian goalkeeper Kharine immediately made an impact at Stamford Bridge, and the following season he impressed in Chelsea's run to the FA Cup final in 1994. Although a regular starter in his early [.