Off the Post Archives for January 2011

Arjan de Zeeuw swears on Goals on Sunday

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Goals on f*cking Sunday Good old footballers, eh? Foul-mouthed to the core, and all the better for it. Even Arjan de Zeeuw, one of the more educated players to venture in the Premier League, showed the lower side of his intelligence level by saying "f*ck" when he was on Goals on Sunday this morning. Funny [.

15 year old Jordan Ibe booked for going to see his mummy

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The law that rules that players must be cautioned for taking their shirts off is much-debated. Why should you not remove your shirt, is that big a deal? But the players know the rules, so why should we feel sympathy for them? The rule regarding entering the crowd to celebrate is easier to understand, because [.

Gareth Bale models new GB Olympic Football Shirt

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There is some debate about whether football should have a place in the Olympics, given that it should be the height of any competitor's career. Does a footballer have too many higher priorities? Well who cares, the clobber looks decent. Despite the Welsh FA already revealing that they would be less than happy if their [.

Gareth Bale models new GB Olympic Football Shirt

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There is some debate about whether football should have a place in the Olympics, given that it should be the height of any competitor's career. Does a footballer have too many higher priorities? Well who cares, the clobber looks decent. Despite the Welsh FA already revealing that they would be less than happy if their [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 29-30 October

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Since I last wrote this column, Manchester City have scored 11 goals. The most impressive thing about that is that Edin Dzeko has scored four of them and yet you're still not sure he is going to a) start on Saturday or b) finish a one-on-one when he gets it. After their reserves smashed Wolves [...]


Oldham mascot Chaddy the Owl beaten up by Latics fan

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Twit-twoo beat me up? Football mascots are supposed to wind-up opposition fans, but Oldham mascot Chaddy the Owl was this week punched by one of his own team's supporters. Chaddy was assaulted as he posed for a photo with a young fan ahead of the midweek match at Preston North End. The man inside the [.

OTP Stoppage Time: Episode 10

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Consider the Off The Post podcast chaps as wheeler dealers, scouring the globe and doing business in the lighter moments from world football, unearthing a few rough diamonds in the process. But while Harry Redknapp might not like the term, these boys embrace their role with gusto, putting in a shift each and every week.

Ronaldo says don’t play with yourself before the match

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Pro-tips Brazilian legend Ronaldo Originaldo as we like to term him had some interesting pre-match routines toward the end of his career. Like many of his compatriots, he perhaps partied a bit too hard a bit too close to matches. But he has now spoken out in defence of himself and any other [...]


The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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Responses to poor performances Manchester United If United win at Everton on Saturday lunchtime then Alex Ferguson can put last weekend's shenanigans down to a mental block from his players, and console himself that if he has just one mindf*ck in 25 years at the helm, all is relatively well. They went down to ten [.

Video: Blackburn beat Newcastle in 4-3 Carling Cup thriller

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Loadsa late goals Newcastle rolled back the years to the Kevin Keegan era with a pulsating 4-3 defeat in last night's Carling Cup matches. The Magpies surrendered their unbeaten start to the season to help out under-fire Blackburn Rovers boss Steve Kean. It looks like the Ewood Park stewards had no problem shifting the anti-Kean [.

Video: Argentine player treads all over opponent’s face

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This isn't pleasant viewing. Defender Carlos Soto, of Argentina's All Boys, finds the head of Newell's Old Boys player Carlos Diaz is blocking his route. Surely you don't expect him to go round the head, do you? Giving a new meaning to faceplant, Soto plants his foot right in the middle of Diaz's face.

PSG order 20,000 David Beckham shirts, just in case he signs for them

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Is the deal done or are they in Seine? David Beckham's much-touted move to Frech side PSG seems to be edging closer to reality after the Ligue 1 outfit ordered 20,000 personalised shirts with his name on the back. That's a lot of shirts to shift if they didn't think they were going to get [...]


Top ten nicknames in Premier League history

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Because nicknames are.... bad names, yeah? Footballers are often an unintelligent bunch, but occasionally they have sparks of innovation and create amusing nicknamesfor their peers. When this is cobined with the dry humour of fans and pundits, the results are impressive. Here are ten of the best from the Premier League: 10.

Iker Casillas fined by Mourinho despite a watertight excuse

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Iker-nt believe it When Real Madrid goalkeeper Iker Casillas got stuck in a traffic jam outside Madrid on the way to training, he quickly thought of a way to get around boss Jose Mourinho's fine system: take a photo of the traffic jam and post it onto his facebook page. Alongside the photo, the Spanish [.

Tesco introduce cheeky Manchester United / Manchester City price drop

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City can have their cake and eat it Sweet-toothed Manchester United fans were offered a discounted pick-me-up after their derby defeat to Manchester City with this £1 birthday cake. The City-branded cake next to it on the shelves remained priced at £6. Alas, this is probably just a nice PR stunt. But we'd like to [.

Petition launched for Mark Lawrenson to grow his moustache back for Movember

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An online petition has been launched to get Mark Lawrenson to grow back his iconic moustache for charity. The petition calls for Lawro and three other sporting greats to revive their famed facial hair for Movember. Also targeted are the top lips of Ian Botham, Nigel Mansell and Barry McGuigan. So far only 155 people [.

Petition launched for Mark Lawrenson to grow his moustache back for Movember

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An online petition has been launched to get Mark Lawrenson to grow back his iconic moustache for charity. The petition calls for Lawro and three other sporting greats to revive their famed facial hair for Movember. Also targeted are the top lips of Ian Botham, Nigel Mansell and Barry McGuigan. So far only 155 people [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 11 – Why Always Me?

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Ep.11 Why Always Me? by Off The Post on Mixcloud Bobby Charlton, Eamonn Holmes, Mick Hucknall, Howard Webb: your boys took a hell of a beating! Also getting royally spanked are journalistic standards as the OTP ride into the derby battle with a torrent of inane observation: yes, that was a shocking scoreline, but how [.

Video: Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson tries to say Aldershot. Fails

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Alderwhat? Sir Alex Ferguson's attempts to show some respect to lower league opposition Aldershot when he accidentally called them Aldershit instead. The Manchester United gaffer talked down his opponents during his pre-match interview. At least the Red Devils backed up their boss' trash talk with a convincing win.

Touts sold tickets allocated to Sir Alex Ferguson

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Would the real Sir Alex Ferguson please stand up? Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson was named in a court case after it emerged that tickets from his allocation were being sold on by a touting gang. Karl Rowe, 51, Mark Rowe, 47, Anthony Jones, 44, and Christopher Fallon 51, all pleaded guilty to selling [.

Top five things Sven could do next

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In truth, with Leicester sitting only two points off the playoffs, the departure of Sven from Leicester does seem a little surprising. However, given his chequered past and ‘colourful' actions, it allows us to muse on just what might come next: 1. Permanent panellist on Shooting Stars? It's a show that has got a bit [.

Mario Balotelli stars in inevitable firework safety campaign

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Don't get your hands burnt like Mario Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has predictably been signed up to front a firework safety campaign ahead of Bonfire Night. The 21-year-old made the headlines at the weekend when the fire service had to attend his Cheshire mansion to put out a serious blaze started by a firework [.

Video: Sven Kums scores penis goal

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Heerenveen star Sven Kums gave the statisticians something to worry about in his side's match against Utrecht. The 'left leg', 'right leg' and 'header' columns were all left blank as Kums fired in from 17 yards with his penis. The gang at 101GG inform us that in Holland this is called a "snikkelgoal".

Random 1990’s Footballer Tuesday: #7 Jeroen Boere

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Name: Jeroen Boere In his 1990's prime for: West Ham United Lowdown: Boere was a Dutch striker signed by Billy Bonds in the summer of 1993 to help West Ham adapt to their first season in the Premier League. A tall player, Boere had scored regularly for VVV-Venlo and Go Ahead Eagles before the move. [.

6-1? Joey Barton can’t believe the result of the Manchester derby

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Joey, what's the score? If you were wondering what is going through the mind of a Premier League footballer as they wait in the tunnel ahead of a big derby match, in Joey Barton's case the answer is "did I just hear that PA system correctly?". The QPR skipper caught wind of the result of [...]


Video: Sky Sports News reporter suffers bird poo direct hit live on air

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A bird in the Stamford Bridge area displayed outstanding comedy timing by pooing on this Sky Sports News presenter just as he cuts to a video tape of Andre Villas Boas. Half-a-second later and this gem would never have been broadcast live on TV. Spotted on 101GG


Football Lookalikes: The Drums’ album cover and the Neville brothers on holiday

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Music's other Neville Brothers Thanks to @mcavanagh87 for spotting that American indie band The Drums appear to have gone rummaging through Gary and Phil Neville's old holiday snaps to find the cover art for their album.


Chelsea skipper John Terry denies racist abuse towards QPR’s Anton Ferdinand

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Welcome to Amateur Lip-readers' Club John Terry has released a statement denying he racially abused Anton Ferdinand during yesterday's QPR-Chelsea match. Unusually, Terry's response was not to an official complaint by Ferdinand but in response to internet tittle-tattle of the sort you might find on OTP suggesting that he could be lip-read making [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 22-23 October

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1. Never mind Super Sunday, that was surreal Sunday. The football equivalent of a full moon. Absolutely bonkers. 2. On Saturday night OTP could not have imagined a scenario by which firebug Mario Balotelli could score two goals against Manchester United the following day and barely be a sub-plot. 3. Given events at Loftus Road, [.

Top five conclusions: Manchester United 1-6 Manchester City

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I'd 6-1 be a Manchester United fan 1. Changing of the guard? As Joe Hart would say, wowsers. The odds on Manchester City winning 6-1 before the game were 550/1. In truth, United were always likely to punished by a side with as much quality as City as soon as they went down to 10 [...]


ES Serif of Algeria score a wonder goal

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Props to our pals at 101GG for spotting this wonder goal by Abdelmoumene Djabou of ES Serif against Chlef. Sort of lookalike of Carlos Tevez, Djabou got the ball around the half way line, and then slalomed between several players before sliding the ball past the keeper. Not a player you will have ever heard [.

Internet joker mocks Emile Heskey through FIFA 12 video

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Making Emile of it This video has been around for a couple of days now, but it is only right that we bring it to your attention. The video starts with Zinedine Zidane stating that he wants Heskey in his team. However, the video then takes a turn for the worse when Heskey is then [...]


Mario Balotelli’s ‘Why Always Me?’ t-shirt (Manchester United v Manchester City)

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Genius Fireworks at Old Trafford! Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has opened the scoring in the Manchester derby with a great goal totally against the run of play. Having found the net, the young Italian calmly lifted his jersey to reveal this 'Why Always Me?' t-shirt. We don't know why it's always you, Mario, but [.

Did Mario Balotelli’s hair stylist foresee his firework blaze?

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Spooky At first we thought it was a roadsign, but with the benefit of hindsight it's fairly obvious that Mario Balotelli has been walking round with a firework on his head all week. Perhaps his hairdresser needs to consider a new career as a psychic.


Mario Balotelli forced to flee burning house after setting off fireworks in bathroom

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It really does crazier each time Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli has escaped without injury following a fire at his home. The blaze was started by fireworks being let off in the bathroom in the early hours of this morning. Two fire crews had to enter his Cheshire mansion to tackle the "substantial fire".

Steve Claridge (aged 45) to play for Gosport Borough

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Steve Claridge, one time Premier League striker and comfortable winner of English football's 'scruffiest looking player'award, has come out of retirement to play for Gosport Borough of the Southern League Premier. He will go straight into the side for their FA Trophy game this afternoon. Looking at Claridge's career, it would be fair to say [.

Libya appoints new enforcer

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Regime change No, not another dictator to replace the toppled Muammar Gaddafi. Rather former Italian World Cup winner Claudio Gentile is set to take over the reigns of the Libyan national football team. An uncompromising centre-back who played more than 400 matches for Juventus, Gentile won almost every major trophy in the game.

Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey responsible for Colonel Gaddafi’s death

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Conclusive [Via talkSPORT]


OTP Stoppage Time: Episode 9

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Executing Ben After a break for international week, the Stoppage Time crew are refreshed and back to their best; scouring the internet for mind boggling clips from the wide world of football. Think of them as a YouTube SWAT team, a crack squadron who get the job done with the minimum of fuss, giving the [.

Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola won’t kiss all the men

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Snubbed How must this guy be feeling today after being rejected by Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola at the official inauguration of the club's Masia training complex? The first time we see Guardiola in this video, he's having a kiss and cuddle with a man in a suit. He then moves along and receives another kiss [.

OTP talks to Football Manager chief Miles Jacobson

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OTP Meets Miles Jacobson by Off The Post on Mixcloud Football Manager is a gaming phenomenon. Although it may keep divorce lawyers in regular work, the game successfully marries compulsive gameplay with colossal amounts of intensely researched data. And Premier League teams are taking note – whilst OTP likes to test the structural integrity of [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 22-23 October

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With some speculative first goalscorers Newcastle are evidently the surprise package of the Premier League season, and there are fans on Tyneside that would have thought that Gazza admitting he had been acting all these years and was actually a scholar was more likely than the Geordie boys sitting top four at this stage.

The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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Pressure...pushing down on Mick (and Steve and Roberto) Steve Bruce Steve Bruce has often received unfair criticism during his spell at Sunderland. After all, he guided the club to their highest finish for a decade last season, and has attracted players of an ilk that the club could only dream five years ago.

The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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Pressure...pushing down on Mick (and Steve and Roberto) Steve Bruce Steve Bruce has often received unfair criticism during his spell at Sunderland. After all, he guided the club to their highest finish for a decade last season, and has attracted players of an ilk that the club could only dream five years ago.

Video: Manchester City keeper Joe Hart scores a sweet overhead kick

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The OverHart Has Manchester City's official YouTube channel leaked footage of Roberto Mancini's secret weapon ahead of Sunday's Manchester derby? Goalkeeper Joe Hart has been showing off his striking prowess in training by scoring this outstanding overhead kick. Always good to know if England ever need a goal in injury team.

Video: Manchester City keeper Joe Hart scores a sweet overhead kick

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The OverHart Has Manchester City's official YouTube channel leaked footage of Roberto Mancini's secret weapon ahead of Sunday's Manchester derby? Goalkeeper Joe Hart has been showing off his striking prowess in training by scoring this outstanding overhead kick. Always good to know if England ever need a goal in injury team.

Slow and steady wins the title race?

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It's no secret that the road to success in professional football is a long one. And even then, it's never easy. But the undeniable fact is that this modern age of football often expects management to perform master strokes, such as win trophies in their first and only year in charge. Consider the Spanish League, [.

Slow and steady wins the title race?

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It's no secret that the road to success in professional football is a long one. And even then, it's never easy. But the undeniable fact is that this modern age of football often expects management to perform master strokes, such as win trophies in their first and only year in charge. Consider the Spanish League, [.

Video: Celtic’s Cha Du Ri scores a comedy own goal against Rennes

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What Cha playing at? Celtic scored two goals against Rennes last night but had to settle for a 1-1 draw in their Europa League clash. The opening goal was a bizarre own goal scored by the Bhoys' South Korean star Cha Du Ri. His misplaced backpass completely missed goalkeeper Fraser Forster and nestled in the [.

Derby starlet Mason Bennett couldn’t make his debut on a school night

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The Rams ate my homework Derby County youngster Mason Bennett is set to make his debut aged 15 this weekend. He will become the Rams' youngest ever player in the process, but his first appearance is a few days later than planned. Manager Nigel Clough had to shelve plans to include him in the squad [.

Video: Maccabi Tel Aviv’s Yoav Ziv sent off for kicking boot at linesman against Stoke

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Crazy red card Talk about a studs-up challenge! Maccabi Tel Aviv player Yoav Ziv reinvented the term when his gave the linesman the boot during last night's Europa League clash at Stoke. But his foot wasn't even attached to the boot at the time. Ziv's left boot came off when he was trampled over by [.

Manchester United and Manchester City fans: now you can ‘Trash Your Tevez Shirts’

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Reds and Blues unite over a skip Supporters of Manchester United and Manchester City have been offered the chance to vent their shared frustration at Carlos Tevez through a shirt recycling scheme ahead of this weekend's derby clash. Betfair have been driving round Manchester with a 'Trash Your Tevez Shirts' skip, giving disgruntled fans of [.

Competition: Win a copy of Football Manager 2012 (signed by Miles Jacobson)

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Competition time Yes, it's that time of year again. The nights draw in, the weather gets colder and scores of football fans hibernate in their computer room with the latest version of Football Manager. The hotly-anticipated FM2012 is out tomorrow and we've got a copy to give away right now. You've got just under [.

Top 10 most embarassing shirt sponsors

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Whether due to reasons of childishness or otherwise, everyone likes to see a silly shirt sponsor. Today we look at ten of the silliest. Please bear in mind that we have ignored Dong, Wang, Pooh and Bonar, so maybe we are growing up after all. 10. Chupa Chups Sheffield Wednesday There is just something [.

David Luiz works his voodoo magic on Chelsea team-mate Fernando Torres

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Sideshow Bob's magic tricks Ooooh, spooky. Chelsea defender David Luiz performed this blessing on striker Fernando Torres before last night's Champions Leagu match against Genk. And lo, the misfiring no-hoper was transformed into a goalscoring machine. Expect Didier Drogba to be barging to the front of the blessing queue before the Blues' next match!

Newcastle’s Danny Simpson uses court appearance to open up transfer talks

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Honour your contract, your Honour Newcastle right-back Danny Simpson has made a very public come and get me plea during a court case. The ex-Manchester United man was appearing in court on a speeding offence, but ended up either playing a very risky game of hardball over a new contract or alerting as many [.

Chelsea youngster Thibaut Courtois launches coup d’etat to oust Petr Cech

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Cech mate Young Chelsea keeper Thibaut Courtois appears to begun his bid for first-team football at Stamford Bridge by heralding Petr Cech's demise. The 19-year-old, currently on-loan at Spanish side Atletico Madrid, reckons Cech's fitness is a concern and that the Blues' backroom staff know the Czech international's days are numbered.

Video: Liverpool stars Andy Carroll and Charlie Adam bake a cake

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Blue Peter badge-winners get in for £35m If you thought Delia Smith was the Premier League's only cook, think again. Liverpool duo Andy Carroll and Charlie Adam have taken part in a charity bake-off for Children In Need on Blue Peter. The Reds pair were both tasked with baking a Victoria sponge, with goalkeeper Pepe [.

Video: Roberto Mancini secures first Man City Champions League win, thinks he has won the Champions League

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And the scarf is back Manchester City recorded their first ever win in the Champions League last night by nicking a 2-1 win over Villarreal. The result, probably undeserved on the balance of play, was clearly a great relief to manager Roberto Mancini. The Italian struggled to keep his emotions in check at the final [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 10 – Emile Beckenbauer

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A world where Mick McCarthy would be content Ep.10 Emile Beckenbauer by Off The Post on Mixcloud As much as we all immensely enjoyed the international break, the Premier League is back. And with it comes the Off The Post podcast, hungry for goals, starving for stats, and ready to tuck into the highs and [.

Hard Tackle: Annoy Francois Modesto and he will pull your shorts down

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Cover your Modesto


Video: Nemanja Vidic’s crazy red card (Otelul Galati v Man Utd)

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Manchester United defender Nemanja Vidic controversially saw red during last night's 0-2 Champions League win over Romanian side Otelul Galati. The Serb made a mistimed challenge with his foot raised. That was enough to send him off according to German referee Felix Brych. It was more of an attempted block than a full-blooded tackle.

Graham Taylor models non-slip footwear for football managers!

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Do I not like those Ex-England manager Graham Taylor has this morning been unveiled as the face of a new shoe aimed at stopping football managers having embarrassing touchline falls. The Sho'ot was commissioned by the makers of the Football Manager video game amid concerns that too many gaffers were being caught out by slick [.

Video: Manchester City hardman Nigel De Jong now targeting cameras

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Dutchman's new way of delivering black eyes It's official: Man City midfielder Nigel De Jong has now assaulted every professional footballer in the Premier League and has now set his sights on recording equipment. His first victim was City TV's camera. Direct hit. Spotted on Dirty Tackle


Video: Manchester City hardman Nigel De Jong now targeting cameras

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Dutchman's new way of delivering black eyes It's official: Man City midfielder Nigel De Jong has now assaulted every professional footballer in the Premier League and has now set his sights on recording equipment. His first victim was City TV's camera. Direct hit. Spotted on Dirty Tackle


Video: Lionel Messi does the Moonwalk in PES 2012

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Is there nothing he can't do? We attempted to post this last week and we've just spotted in didn't publish on the site. So later than expected... One of the hidden treats of PES 2012 is, it would seem, the ability to force your players to unleash a repertoire of Michael Jackson goal celebrations. As [.

Five alternatives to standard promotion and relegation (and who would most benefit)

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Can we help out Blackburn and Wigan? We all spat out our mouthfuls of tea when we saw that foreign owners were in favour of scrapping promotion and relegation, essentially making the Premier League a roster of twenty franchises. Their feelings are clear, in that owners of lower clubs would be guaranteed to make money [.

Video: Romanian keeper turns his back on controversial penalty

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A backs-to-the-ball job Vointa Sibiu keeper Remus Danalache showed his displeasure at the award of a penalty against his side by turning his back on the resulting spot-kick. Danalache was a bit suspicious at what was a dubious penalty in any case, given that the defender appeared to win the ball, also resulted in a [.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is a transfer liar

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Half the Gunners' squad wanted to leave "I expect nobody to leave the club. The best thing for us one day before the championship starts is to focus on possible transfers." Wenger, August 12, 2011 "It was a very difficult summer because half the dressing room wanted to leave. You're preparing for a season where [.

Video: Wolves fans film themselves urinating on West Brom pitch

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The Hawthorns becomes a (very) public toilet Two Wolverhampton Wanderers fans could be in trouble after filming themselves urinating in the centre circle of West Brom's pitch. The daring duo took to The Hawthorns' turf following Wolves' 2-0 defeat in the Black Country derby on Sunday. Getting in a very early defence, the cameraman can [.

Chivas’ Marco Fabian performs a mock execution goal celebration

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He shoots, he scores, he shoots Chivas striker Marco Fabian did his bit to help out the Mexican tourist board with a mock execution goal celebration during the match against Tecos on Saturday. After finding the net, Fabian whipped out his finger pistol, put it to the temple of team-mate Alberto Medina and pulled his [.

Random 1990s Footballer Tuesday: #6 Jean-Guy Wallemme

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Name: Jean-Guy Wallemme In his 1990s prime for: Coventry City Lowdown: Although Jean-Guy Walleme isn't exactly a household name in Premier League terms, he was seen as something of a coup for Coventry when they bought him from Lens in 1998, where he had captained the French club to the league title the previous season.

Liverpool quartet Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson, Jonjo Shelvey and Martin Skrtel battle it out

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Scousers' skill school (not that there's any Scousers involved) Liverpool stars Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson, Jonjo Shelvey and Martin Skrtel were put through their paces as they faced off in a skills challenge. The players competed in a crossbar challenge, extreme keepy-uppies and a trial of shooting accuracy in the 188BET Skills Challenge.

Video: Roving reporter Daniel Sturridge uncovers age discrimination at Chelsea

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Youth unemployment This hilarious video from Chelsea TV shows investigative journalist Daniel Sturridge confirming the suspicions that we all had about the old boys' mafia at Stamford Bridge. Sturridge reveals how the likes of Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka always go first during a knockout shooting session.

Non-league side Redditch United cancel player’s registration over referee attack

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Ditched by Redditch Redditch United player Josh McKenzie has had his registration cancelled by the club after hitting a referee. The match against Chesham United was called off after McKenzie struck the referee after conceding a penalty. The player had bagged two goals in his previous two games for the club, but that wasn't cause [.

Video: Novara keeper Samir Ujkani loses some teeth

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Grin and bear it The weekend's Serie A action featured some DIY dentistry from Novara. Goalkeeper Samir Ujkani found himself minus four teeth after a collision with team-mate Michel Morganella. Ujkani also broke his nose in the clash. In the video above, you can see one of the keeper's teeth cartwheeling through the air away [.

Hard Tackle: Norwich’s Anthony Pilkington and Elliott Bennett score early against Swansea

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Together they are: Tony Bennett Norwich's match against Swansea on Saturday had already been pencilled in as a relegation six-pointer, so imagine the Canaries' delight when they took the lead within the first minute. Elliott Bennett was overcome with emotion and the sight of a prone Anthony Pilkington was too good to refuse.

‘Do Are Ya? Mario Balotelli’s roadsign haircut

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Traffic merging on your head Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli sported a tyre-track hairdo last season. And it got out of control. The Italian has decided to calm it down with a roadsign cut this season. It was either that or a speed bump haircut.


Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 15-16 October

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1. Ryan Giggs' testicles are once again having a negative impactive on Manchester United. This time he let Steven Gerrard score the opening goal for Liverpool by breaking away from the ball to protect his Ballons D'Or. 2. Stevie G won the man of the match award from Ray Wilkins as a "welcome back". Just [.

Video: An interesting insight into Ryan Giggs’ priorities (Liverpool v Manchester United)

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I'll be needing those later Manchester United veteran Ryan Giggs was at fault for Liverpool's opener in the 1-1 draw at Anfield this lunchtime. David De Gea was left stranded as Giggs broke away from the rest of the wall to bend double and protect his gonads from the incoming Steven Gerrard effort. Video via [.

Brazilian fans avoid buying tickets through ambulance plot

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The attendance for today's match is 999 The perfect plan. If you cannot be bothered to buy a ticket for a cup match, then you need a way to get yourself (and five of your mates) into the ground without raising too much attention. Everyone knows that ambulances are subtle vehicles, so six likely lads [.

Robbie Fowler pioneers revolutionary fitness programme

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No work today I'm getting my fitness back Former Liverpool star Robbie Fowler has become quite the journeyman. After leaving British football he spent two years in Australia with North Queensland Fury and then Perth Glory, before this season ending up at Muang Thong United in the Thai Premier League.

Aussie soap Neighbours declares Milan Jovanovic as “one of the greatest soccer players in the world”

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Messi, Ronaldo, Jovanovic We all know that soap opera plot-lines are to be taken with a pinch of salt, but this is stretching reality a bit too far. During a spot of genealogy, the scriptwriters of Neighbours ask you to suspend belief completely by suggesting that ex-Liverpool flop Milan Jovanovic is "one of the greatest [.

Juan Pablo Pino arrested for his tattoos

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Juan hell of a tattoo Now normally I would have no problem with the police arresting our footballers because of their awful tattoos. Stephen Ireland – two years in the nick, Raul Meireles – never see the light of day again, that sort of thing. But I see that more of a job for the [...]


The world is watching. A huge weekend for…

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Underfire managers and new beginnings... Bolton Wanderers Gary Megson and Sammy Lee were sacked for better starts to a season at the Reebok. Owen Coyle may have persuaded fans initially that he could be the eventual replacement for Sam Allardyce's success, but the wheels have come off rather spectacularly.

Lionel Messi dragged into horse whipping row

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Spank you very much Barcelona star Lionel Messi has been unexpectedly landed at the centre of a dispute about how regularly it is acceptable to whip a racehorse. Irish jockey Richard Hughes was handed a five-day suspension on Monday after falling foul of new rules which state you can only whip the horse seven or [.

Football tickets – is buying online the way forward?

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In the technological times we live in, buying a football ticket ought to be as easy as buying your groceries. And yet football forums and fansites are flooded with 'where can I get tickets for the match?' and 'are there still tickets available?' requests. All too often finding a way to watch their favourite team [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for the 15-16th October

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Make money money, Make money money moneeeeh So, finally the dull monotony of an international break is over. It has been two weeks since a Premier League match, and yet feels like months. What better way to celebrate its return than with a home treble to warm the cockles of the bank manager. Norwich looked [.

Five ways to overcome Wayne Rooney’s three-match Euro 2012 ban

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Yes, the predictable has happened: Uefa have imposed a three-match ban on Wayne Rooney after his sending off against Montenegro last week. It's hard to imagine one of Spain's star players being ruled out of the entire Euro 2012 group stage for a red card in qualifying. So how can we overcome this problem?

Video: Firework explosion leaves Glentoran coaching staff needing treatment

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Blown out of the dugout The match between Glentoran and Portadown in Northern Ireland's Irn-Bru League Cup (great sponsor) was on the verge of being abandoned last night after fireworks were repeatedly thrown onto the pitch. One firework exploded near the Glens dugout, blowing a contact lens from the eye of goalkeeping coach David McClelland [.

Ryan Giggs, his wife and his ex-mistress have a slanging match in the street

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Happy families Ryan Giggs and his wife Stacey had a blazing row in the street with the Manchester United star's former mistress and sister-in-law, Natasha Giggs, according to The Sun. It all kicked off when the couple bumped into Natasha outside a restaurant. The chance meeting was the first time either Giggs or his wife [.

Female fans of Polish side Hutnik Krakow get their kit off for fund-raising calendar

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Krakow calendar Supporters at most clubs think the height of fund-raising is standing around with a bucket for an hour before kick-off. But a group of female fans of Hutnik Krakow, in Poland, have gone to much greater lengths to pay the bills at their club. The group have stripped for a 2012 calendar in [.

Wayne Rooney: ‘Liverpool make me sick’

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Pre-match nerves Manchester United star Wayne Rooney has claimed that Liverpool sicken him ahead of this weekend's meeting between the two side and he wasn't even being offensive. The boyhood Evertonian (once a Blue...) revealed how the prospect of matches at Anfield used to turn his stomach. With Merseyside bragging at stake, the young [.

Video: Zamalek player Shikabala picks a fight with a photographer

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Say 'cheese'. There are plenty of players who adore the media attenion that comes with being a football, but Zamalek playmaker Shikabala is not one of them. Not when he's lost, at least. His side lost the Egyptian cup final against ENPPI. After a 2-1 defeat, Shikabala didn't take kindly to the prospect of his [.

Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech plays Coldplay covers with a Czech band

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And it was all Blue, erm, I mean Yellow. Budding drummer and Chelsea keeper Petr Cech has made his debut for a new outfit: Czech band Eddie Stoilow. He played live with the band for the first time last week, at a concert in Prague. Among the set was Coldplay track Yellow, which you can [...]


Video: Chelsea star Juan Mata sets you a maths challenge

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Matamatics Chelsea and Spain star Juan Mata has obviously developed a good head for numbers from his time spent counting passes between Xavi and Andres Iniesta. So much so that Spanish newspaper El Pais has used him to front this maths challenge. Mata says: Two high school students, who are goalkeepers, decide to organize a [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 9 – An Idiot Abroad

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Like the Gladiators Gauntlet Ep.9 An Idiot Abroad by Off The Post on Mixcloud Critics are calling the Off The Post podcast the audio equivalent of the England team: underwhelming, occasionally violent, and generally never seeming to get it quite right. Our injury plagued season continues this week as Paddy is out of action, so [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 9 – An Idiot Abroad

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Like the Gladiators Gauntlet Ep.9 An Idiot Abroad by Off The Post on Mixcloud Critics are calling the Off The Post podcast the audio equivalent of the England team: underwhelming, occasionally violent, and generally never seeming to get it quite right. Our injury plagued season continues this week as Paddy is out of action, so [.

Disturbed Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina and his overflowing petrol tank

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Fill 'er up Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina has problems. In his new autobiography, the Spaniard has revealed the lengths he goes to in order to satisfy his pre-match superstitions. These unusual quirks are not uncommon in footballers, who often have OCD tendencies or insist on putting one shin pad on before the other.

Video: Valeri Aleksanyan scores hilarious own goal (Republic of Ireland v Armenia)

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Why don't you put it out for a corner, Valeri? Valer-ee-hee. A quite remarkable thing happened as the Republic of Ireland booked a Euro 2012 qualifying play-off spot: Richard Dunne was on the scoresheet FOR HIS OWN TEAM, while an opponent was scoring a comedy own goal. Feels nice now the boot's on the other [.

Video: Bahrain’s Rashed Al Hooti picks up quickest international red card ever

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Rash challenge Bahrain player Rashed Al Hooti lived up to his name with an overzealous challenge against Iran that earnt him the the quickest red card ever shown in international football. El Hooti was given his marching orders just 43 seconds into his side's match after diving in to a challenge unnecessarily.

Ireland’s Eurovision success kept Dennis Bergkamp at Arsenal

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Singing for your contract Arsenal legend Dennis Bergkamp has revealed his 11-year stint at the club was due in no small part to the Eurovision Song Contest. The Dutchman has revealed he has to thank Ireland's Johnny Logan, whose track What's Another Year? one Eurovision in 1980, for maintaining his longevity at Highbury.

Newcastle United’s iconic East Stand lettering up for sale on eBay

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Do we have to spell it out? The Newcastle United lettering for the St James' Park East Stand has been listed for sale on eBay. Twitchy Toon fans have been concerned for a while that Mike Ashley was planning to remove the distinctive signage to make way for a giant Sports Direct logo. It looks [...]


Republic of Ireland selection mind games ruined by Robbie Keane’s urge to sing

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Too Keane on karaoke Republic of Ireland coach Giovanni Trapattoni attempts to keep opponents Armenia guessing over his team selection were scuppered by Robbie Keane's burning desire to break into song. Trapattoni was publicly claiming that Keane was in contention for a place despite struggling with an adductor muscle injury.

Swindon boss Paolo Di Canio accidentally completes a half-marathon

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Natural athlete Paolo Di Canio has been pure gold for OTP material since taking up the Swindon Town manager's post and the latest episode might be our favourite so far. The zany Italian inadvertently completed a half-marathon after taking a wrong turn during a fun run! The 43-year-old was supposed to start the Swindon half [.

Liverpool’s Jordan Henderson gives England U21 victory over Norway

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"Now can I play United, Mr Dalglish?" New England Under 21 skipper Jordan Henderson led his side to victory against their Norwegian counterparts last night by scoring the winning goal. West Brom's Craig Dawson opened the scoring with a header, before Liverpool midfielder Henderson tucked in the second.

Liverpool’s Jordan Henderson gives England U21 victory over Norway

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"Now can I play United, Mr Dalglish?" New England Under 21 skipper Jordan Henderson led his side to victory against their Norwegian counterparts last night by scoring the winning goal. West Brom's Craig Dawson opened the scoring with a header, before Liverpool midfielder Henderson tucked in the second.

Kitman: New Scotland home kit

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Och aye the noo shirt Scotland have launched their new kit ahead of tonight's decisive Euro 2012 qualifier against Spain at Hampden. How much wear they get out of it very much depends on whether they can pull off a shock result against the World Cup and European Championship holders. If they do manage to [.

West Brom’s Peter Odemwingie blames faith healer for Nigeria’s failure

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Not a prayer Peter Odemwingie has blamed Nigeria's failure to qualify for the Africa Cup of Nations on a faith healer who told them they wouldn't make it. The West Brom man said: "The prediction of Prophet TB Joshua really affected us. We thought we could see him and see how he could overturn the [..

QPR midfielder Joey Barton denies English Defence League links

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Photo fraud QPR and Joey Barton have released a statement rejecting suggestions that he is a member of far-right group the English Defence League. A photo of Barton posing with EDL leader Tommy Robinson (aka Stephen Yaxley Lennon) appeared on the EDL Support Group Facebook page accompanied by the caption: "Joey Barton joins the EDL.

Joachim Loew’s lucky blue jumper is donated to a museum

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African artefact set for museum display Germany coach Joachim Loew's lucky blue jumper from the 2010 World Cup is to take pride of place in a museum after accumulating several owners in a short space of time. Loew gave his beloved knitwear to a children's charity, who pocketed a cool €1 million by flogging it [.

Top 10 premature celebrations

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With South Africa celebrating their qualification to the African Cup of Nations before it turned out they hadn't made it, we look at some other premature celebrations. 1. Khalid Askri The Moroccan goalkeeper became an internet sensation with his hilarious penalty save celebration. The hapless keeper saw his side lose the penalty shootout as the [.

Video: Spanish side scores ghost goal header

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Hole in the net There has been a few ghost goals in recent seasons and they usually occur from low shots driven into the bottom corner, not looping headers. But Spanish outfit Alondras managed that at the weekend. Fran Fandino headed the ball into the goal of opponents Pontevedra, but the ball bounced underneath the [.

Football Lookalikes: Scotland boss Craig Levein and Howard from Fresh Meat

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Talking tactics When Craig Levein isn't managing Scotland, he's currently starring as weirdo Howard in new Channel 4 yoof comedy Fresh Meat. You can see a recent Levein press conference below and then compare that to Howard giving out some tactical advice of his own here.


Paul Gascoigne’s bender and bomb signing session with Gaddafi’s sons

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When Gazza met Gaddafi Gazza has revealed he went on the lash with two of Colonel Gaddafi's sons during his time at Middlesbrough. The ex-England star told Piers Morgan's TV show that he went to Libya and went on a bender with the Gaddafis culminating in him autographing a bomb. He said "I went [..

Video: Thiago Silva floors Neymar in Brazil training

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More friendly fire from Brazil OTP thought that Thiago Silva's clumsy corner collision with David Luiz was a complete accident. But it turns out that the Brazil squad had been preparing for some rough and tumble with each other during training in the run-up to their match against Costa Rica. Thiago Silva was once again [.

Crazy Brazilian woman gets rubbish Neymar tattoo

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Neymar? Never If you were going to get a huge image of your favourite footballer scarred on your back in permanent ink, you would want to make sure that you used the best tattoo artist available. Notice the word 'artist', because whoever ruined a woman's back with the above tattoo of Santos star Neymar has [.

Video footage of South Africa’s qualification celebration FAIL

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"We go with God." If you missed yesterday's post, South Africa had a bit of a 'mare on Saturday. They celebrated their 0-0 draw with Sierra Leone to mark their qualification for the Africa Cup of Nations only for it then to emerge that they hadn't actually qualified! The players were celebrating on the [.

Arsenal starlet Alex Oxlade Chamberlain wants his mum to do his washing

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Dirty player Arsenal youngster Alex Oxlade Chamberlain is about to move out from the family home but is hoping to retain the services of his mum as a washerwoman! The 18-year-old has revealed that he will soon move into his own pad for the first time. He reckons he'll have no problems settling in, [.

South Africa celebrate Africa Cup of Nations qualification… then realise they’re out

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Bafana Bafana balls up South Africa were celebrating qualifying for the Africa Cup of Nations when it emerged that they had not done enough to make it to the tournament. Bafana Bafana had drawn last night's match with Sierra Leone 0-0. A win for either side would have secured qualification. The other side in contention [.

Video: K Reuben makes a lunging tackle on the referee (Australia v Malaysia)

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How not to get the ref onside Referees in the modern game don't take kindly when you leave the ground and lunge into tackles, least of all when it's them on the receiving end. Malaysia hardman K Reuben somehow escaped without a red card after this tackle from behind on the ref during their match [...

Video: Thiago Silva and David Luiz’s clash of heads corner routine (Costa Rico v Brazil)

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Comedy corner Brazil can do skill and panache, but ask them to do unsettle the opposition defence to win a header from a set-piece and all falls apart. This sort of penalty area argy-bargy just doesn't come naturally, and Thiago Silva and David Luiz end up colliding with each other. Thiago comes off worse.

Arsenal’s Emmanuel Frimpong: ‘Tottenham play girls’ football’

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DENCH! Arsenal midfielder Emmanuel Frimpong has accused north London rivals of playing girls' football. The youngster was a guest on this morning's Soccer AM. Responding to an assertion from Arsenal-supporting Pop Will Eat Itself singer Mary Byker that the Gunners will win the next north London derby, Frimpong said: "Tottenham play like girls' football.

Video: Greece v Croatia marred by crowd violence

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Greek economy fires into life for stadium seat fitters Greece's Euro 2012 qualifier victory over Croatia was disrupted by crowd trouble last night... except in the parallel universere where Uefa match reports are written. English referee Howard Webb suspended the match for six minutes as Greek hooligans lobbed flares, petrol bombs and seats at their [.

GIF It: The Wayne Rooney red card (Montenegro v England)

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Sent-off? You bet England star Wayne Rooney turned a thousand jokes into reality by getting sent-off in last night's Euro 2012 qualifier against Montenegro. Following his dad's arrest over an alleged betting scam that centred on a player deliberately deliberately getting sent-off. Of all the matches not to lose your head and get a red [.

England soar into Euro 2012

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The alternative slant England this evening showed great character and poise as they graciously earned the necessary point in Montenegro to qualify for Euro 2012. Clearly there will be no reservations or hard feelings towards the national team. They played spectacularly well and were respectful towards the opposition as any Englishman would admire.

Video: England keeper Joe Hart casually joins in Montenegro pitch invasion

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Crazy keeper The turncoat! After Montenegro dramatically snatched a point against 10-man England the story was all about how the minnows' had secured a Euro 2012 play-off spot. Cue jubilant scenes among the Montenegro fans, which spilled over into a pitch invasion. The broadcaster was focusing on the joyous celebrations when who should appear in [.

Fabio Capello’s slippery touchline pirouette (Montenegro v England)

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Steady, Fabio With Fabio Capello's grasp of English still not improving, he has now opted to delivery instructions from his technical area through the medium of expressionist dance.


OTP Stoppage Time: Episode 8

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Invented in Peru in the late 19th century Ben returns this week (sadly minus his new life partner, Arsenal's Yossi Benayoun), and for the first time in living memory, not one of the picks comes from South America. But fear not viewer, as always the OTP team have delved down the back of YouTube's sofa [.

England set to face display of simultaneous bowing in Montenegro

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The full Monte Montenegro showed little respect when they rolled up at Wembley and nicked a point, but their fans are a far more deferential bunch. Here they are bowing down to each member of their national team in wonderfully orchestrated synchronisation as the players' names are announced before a match.

Newcastle’s Shane Ferguson dodges Northern Ireland call-up

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Shane you couldn't make it Newcastle youngster Shane Ferguson has avoided a call-up to Northern Ireland's Euro 2012 qualifier against Estonia this evening after failing to answer calls from manager Nigel Worthington. Worthington went public to say that he had attempted to draft the 20-year-old into the squad but had been unable to get in [.

Huddersfield v Bradford half-time entertainment goes Club 18-30

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Is this what Chris Waddle did? Nope, there was no sand, binge drinking and sex not on the evidence of this video at least but there was some out-of-context beach games on display at this week's match between Huddersfield and Bradford. The Terriers sidestepped a few health and safety regulations to have fans [.

Video: Arsenal starlet Alex Oxlade Chamberlain scores a hat-trick (Iceland U21 0-3 England U21)

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AOC hits trips Alex Oxlade Chamberlain continued the impressive start to his fledgling career by bagging a hat-trick for England Under 21s. The Arsenal youngster single-handedly saw off the challenge of Iceland Under 21s last night. The 18-year-old scored a first-half double and completed his treble after the break.

Video: Cameraman taken out by sniper clearance

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A video of someone being hit by a football normally offers a cheap laugh, but this one is actually quite poetic. We have no idea where the footage comes from, but it features a sparsely football stand, of which the cameraman might be the only occupant. Despite that, the ball locks in on its target [.

The Steve Jobs XI

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1. iPaddy Kenny 2. John OShea 3. Peter App Storey 4. Martin McIntosh 5. iPhone Helguera 6. iPhone 3 La Pena 7. David Pixarro 8. Michael Appleton 9. Lou Macbookari 10. Jamie Mac-kie 11. iPod Nani


Will Carling interviews Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand

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Rugger Rio Unlikely rugby spectator Rio Ferdinand reveals how he is still shocked by the physicality of the game, that he will go on a rugby tour when he retires from football and that he wouldn't have been a rugby player even if he hadn't made it as a football. Tennis would have been more [...]


Wayne Rooney’s dad in betting scam arrest

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Wazza's family and 'Well player hauled in by cops Wayne Rooney's father and uncle are among nine men who have been arrested as part of an investigation into a Scottish football betting scam. Motherwell midfielder Steve Jennings is also among those arrested. We told you last December that Jennings' sending off against Hearts was the [.

Robbie Savage interviews Jason Bent

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100% Bent We brought you footage of Premier League parody Jason Bent as far back as 2009. Alas he's since taken a backseat to comedian Simon Brodkin's nauseating other creation Lee Nelson. But Bent still makes the occasional appearance. This week he's been interviewed for Football Focus by Robbie Savage.

US women’s keeper Hope Solo strips for the ESPN Body Issue

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Soccer strip USA women's goalkeeper Hope Solo is one of a handful of sports stars to get their kit off for ESPN magazine's Body Issue. Her appearance is indicative of her rising stock in the States, and perhaps the increasing prominence of the USWNT (as they are irritatingly dubbed!). Solo: "I still don't buy the [.

Video: Manchester United keeper David De Gea helps himself to another free doughnut

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D'oh! Not again David De Gea has had his knockers since arriving in England, but you cannot call the Manchester United goalkeeper's sense of humour. The Spain international was questioned by a TV reporter in his homeland about his recent doughnut theft episode. The goalkeeper didn't need too much encouragement to grab another free sugary [.

Ray Wilkins aches to rekindle Carlo Ancelotti bromance

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Butch fancies linking up with his old boss Romeo and Juliet, Cinderella and Prince Charming, Karren Brady and Paul Peschisolido – they all pale in comparison to the loving double-act of Ray Wilkins and Carlo Ancelotti who were unceremoniously ripped apart last season. But like any good chick-flick, it's the fleeting chance of a happy [.

Manchester United youngster Tom Cleverley wins libel damages over sex pest impersonator

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Meet my bodyguard Manchester United midfielder Tom Cleverley has received a libel payout over newspaper reports that he had "badgered" a girl for sex. In August, The Sun claimed that Cleverley had been unfaithful to his girlfriend by bombarding a girl he had met in a Blackpool nightclub with texts asking for sex.

Hard Tackle: Ronaldinho indulges in a solo training session

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Ball control Ronaldinho presumably didn't notice the photographer hovering over his shoulder as he decided to, erm, work on his individual skills during training. Via Bola Nas Costas


Magician Dynamo freaks out Gary Neville with personalised Man Utd shirt and other tricks

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Sky Sports commentator Gary Neville recently got together with magician Dynamo to compare facial hair and be wowed by a succession of magic tricks. Red Nev is visibly impressed and spooked in equal doses as Dynamo reels off his tricks. In fact, the only person busier than the quick-fire magician was the person in charge [.

Snoop Dogg dons Cardiff City shirt to request help growing ‘vegetation’

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Bluebird with a fondness for green Rapper Snoop Dogg has continued his trend of supporting the football team of whichever city he happens to be playing by wearing a Cardiff City shirt. Ahead of a gig for which we can only assume tickets sales have been a tad sluggish, Snoop made this bizarre video address [.

Chile coach has sexy dreams about Andres Iniesta

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The erotic ghost Chile coach Claudio Borghi has compared watching Andres Iniesta play to 'an erotic dream'. While most people would agree that Barcelona are the most enjoyable team to watch at the moment, it sounds like Borghi gets more enjoyment than most. According to Goal.com: "Iniesta is like an erotic dream.

OTP Podcast: Episode 8 – Lamps Revamped

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Digging up Brendan's lawn Ep.8 Lamps Revamped by Off The Post on Mixcloud The Off The Post Podcast is back and this week we're much like Arsenal's back four: disorganised, not really sure what we're doing, and secretly hoping that Pat Rice is going to make everything alright. Despite this we've managed to wade through [.

Now Fulham manager Martin Jol fines himself

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Cottagers' disciplinary regime spiralling out of control Fulham boss Martin Jol might consider a future career in fund-raising because his new fines system is turning into a money-making machine. The Dutchman is the latest victim of his own draconian penalties. Yesterday we told you that senior members of the Cottagers' squad was outraged that youngster [.

Accrington v Tranmere abandoned after head injury

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A scarier kind of Cup knockout The Johnstone's Paint Trophy match between Accrington Stanley and Tranmere Rovers was called off last night when Stanley defender Tom Bender suffered a head injury. The 18-year-old was knocked unconscious in a collision with his goalkeeper Ian Dunbavin and Tranmere striker Lucas Akins.

The crazy world of swamp soccer thrust into the spotlight

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Waterlogged what now? Swamp soccer might not be the most well-known form of the beautiful game, but that could be about to change as it takes centre stage in a new Adidas campaign. The quite literally dirty dealings of swamp soccer will now be seen by thousands of people entering a competition to [.

A-League’s early season Culina-out as father and son fired

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Coach and his son dumped only days before kick-off A coach has been dumped from one of Australia's A-League clubs just an hour after representing them at the season launch. Newcastle Jets' boss Branko Culina was fired by club owner Nathan Tinkler on Tuesday afternoon. Later the same day the club sought the [.

Outrage over Martin Jol’s missed penalty fines at Fulham

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On-the-spotkick fines Fulham players are said to be furious after Pajtim Kasami was fined £500 for missing a penalty in the Carling Cup. Manager Martin Jol imposed the penalty after Kasami ousted designated penalty-taker Orlando Sa, but missed the spot-kick against Chelsea. The fine was part of Jol's strict new disciplinary regime.

Video: Another Portuguese stretcher FAIL

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Are you injured yet? Hot on the heels of last week's very nasty stretcher disaster in Portugal comes this incident. It looks like some serious health and safety training is needed among the nation's stretcher-bearers. The match between Academico de Viseu and Sanjoanense descended into a low budget sketch show as two hapless stretcher-bearers [.

Bayern Munich fans caught having sex during 0-0 draw

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Off-pitch action Two Bayern Munich fans were ejected from the stadium during their side's drab 0-0 draw at Hoffenheim after being caught having sex during the match. The randy couple managed just 16 minutes of the goalless encounter before opting for an encounter of their own. Despite being in the middle of the crowd and [.

Pub wins battle to show Saturday 3pm Premier League games

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Oooh, it just got interesting A pub landlady has won a legal case against the Premier League over showing matches uses a foreign TV decoder. In what appears to be a landmark ruling, the European Court of Justice says national laws prohibiting the import, sale or use of foreign decoders are contrary to EU laws [.

Watch England train live on OTP

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Three Lions on the site England are due to start training ahead of Friday's Euro 2012 qualifier against Montenegro at 10.30am this morning. And you can watch them in action just by clicking play on the video above.


Video: The fastest goal ever scored by Michail Osinov

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Veteran midfielder heads for the record books It looks as though the world record for the fastest goal has been broken. Almost a month ago. And nobody noticed. That's because the goal was scored by 35-year-old Michail Osinov. He fired in from kick-off after 2.68 secs for Mitos against Olympia Gelendzhik in the Russian Second [.

Swindon boss Paolo Di Canio encourages his players to follow Paul Alcock’s lead

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Take a tumble Enthusiastic Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio has said he will instruct his squad to dive in future after seeing his side's appeals turned down at the weekend because the players stayed on their feet. The Italian was furious after the Robins' 2-0 defeat at Macclesfield after Matt Ritchie's penalty appeal was [.

Niall Quinn aims to Make Poverty History at Sunderland

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The International Development Secretary Sunderland chairman Niall Quinn has stepped down from his role and will take up a new position in charge of "international development" at the club. Quinn was forced to make the move after the Black Cats failed in their attempts to lure Bono to the Stadium of Light.

Video: David Beckham gets scrappy with Real Salt Lake coach Jason Kreis

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Becks clash after MLS match There was finger-poking and tempers flaring aplenty between LA Galaxy star David Beckham or David as he's known to MLS commentators and Real Salt Lake coach Jason Kreis. The pair exchanged words as they passed each other after the final whistle, before Becks decided he wanted to take [.

Human Trafficking – Football’s Dirty Secret

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Soka Afrika Every year thousands of players don't make the grade and are left on the proverbial footballing scrapheap. Whilst that can mean huge disappointment and readjustment of career prospects for European teenagers, it can – in the worse cases mean homelessness, complete isolation in foreign lands and family-rejection for their African counterparts.

Muhammad Ali is football managers’ dream dinner guest

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Dinner date with Cassius Legendary boxer Muhammad Ali would be the preferred dinner party guest of the UK's top football managers, according to a straw poll carried out by Yahoo! Eurosport in partnership with the League Managers Association. Of the 20 managers interviewed, a quarter picked Ali among their three guests.

Three Word Match Reports: Premier League weekend 1-2 October

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Bolton 1-5 Chelsea Lamps hits back. Fulham 6-0 QPR Cottage much Jol-lier. Swansea 2-0 Stoke European hangover. Again. Tottenham 2-1 Arsenal Tides of change? Aston Villa 2-0 Wigan Run, Gabby, run. Blackburn 0-4 Manchester City Who needs Tevez? Everton 0-2 Liverpool Ref ruins derby. Manchester United 2-0 Norwich Must take chances.

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger plots new career as semaphore tutor

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He's flagging


Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 1-2 October

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1. The hottest October on record, but the sun never shines for Arsene Wenger. 2. Remember the date: 1 October 2011. Mario Balotelli was on the pitch to score a great goal because he was the least stroppy available striker! 3. David N'gog is on his way to collect his payment from Wayne Bridge this [..

Manchester City strikers going to great lengths to keep Roberto Mancini happy

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Saved by the cameras Blackburn Rovers v Manchester City by fantasmac In the wake of the Carlos Tevez saga and Edin Dzeko's display of dissent, BBC commentator Jonathan Pearce highlights just how far Manchester City's other strikers are prepared to go in order to avoid causing further discomfort to manager Roberto Mancini.

Video: Cheats prosper in the CAF Champions League (Wydad v Enyemba)

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Gamesmanship We're all used to seeing footballers faking injuries, but not quite like this. Nigerian side Enyemba are launching a counter-attack away to Morocco's Wydad. A Wydad player charges back to defence complaining about an injury further up the field. The Enyemba player sportingly and stupidly puts the ball into touch, only for it to [.

Video: Robbie Savage makes his Strictly Come Dancing debut

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Robbie Savage the man who once branded OTP a "rubbish blog" made his first competitive appearance on celebrity dancing, sequin and fake tan extravaganza on this weekend. Wearing a rather fetching 'Bad Boy 8′ hooded top, the ex-Derby man pranced around doing the Cha Cha Cha with dance partner Ola Jordan.

Motorbike mad Chelsea boss Andre Villas Boas wants to compete in the Dakar Rally

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AVB wants to get on his bike Chelsea manager Andre Villas Boas has revealed that he would love to take part in the 6,000-mile Dakar Rally on a motorcycle. The bike enthusiast acknowledges that fulfilling his ambition might have to wait until his managerial career is over. Villas Boas told the BBC: "The manager is [.

New Arsenal playmaker in training ahead of North London derby

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Forget about Cesc Fabregas, there's a new Arsenal playmaker in town. Will he make it into the starting line-up for today's clash against Spurs? Well, he's probably still lacking a bit of match fitness. Then again, desperate times call for desperate measures. Perhaps he will come off the bench at some point.

Video: Spanish referee’s amazing slide tackle on Sergio Canales (Valencia v Granada)

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Referee! Slide tackle referee Valencia vs Granada When people say the best referees are the ones you don't even notice, they usually mean the less whistle-happy officials who let the game flow. What they don't usually mean is the ones that refrain from slide tackles on star players. But referee Eduardo Gonzalez decided to take [.

Video: Jack Rodwell very harshly sent-off (Everton v Liverpool)

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Today's Merseyside derby between Everton and Liverpool has been jeopardised as a spectacle thanks to this ridiculous decision from referee Martin Atkinson. Toffees midfielder Jack Rodwell was sent-off midway through the first-half for this challenge on Luis Suarez. The England Under 21 international's studs are not particularly up and he wins the ball cleanly.

Roberto Mancini’s son ‘did a Tevez’ for Man City reserves six weeks ago

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Suspend him from Sunday lunch? Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has been left with egg on his chin after it emerged his son recently pulled a stunt just like Carlos Tevez's. Filippo Mancini flatly refused to come on as a substitute for City in a reserve match against Liverpool on August 10, according to Mirror [.

Have the Manchester billboard wars ended with this epic effort from Man Utd?

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The final blow? The Manchester billboard wars have been bubbling on since Carlos Tevez joined Manchester City in 2009. City controversially paid for a city centre billboard advertisement featuring Tevez and the slogan 'Welcome to Manchester'. Since then there has been plenty of reworkings of the billboard, like Michael Owen's Welcome To Stretford poster, the [.

Manchester United players go bowling with footballs

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Berbatov learns 'spare' isn't just an unused sub Manchester United stars Dimitar Berbatov, Ashley Young and Patrice Evra have been vandalising their local bowling alley in this new viral for Betfair. The trio demonstrate their unique bowling styles (i.e. they kick footballs down the lanes).


Video: Real Madrid aim to quell infighting talk with a barbecue at Jose Mourinho’s

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Santiago Burn-a-banger Amid rumours of increasing tensions within the Real Madrid squad, Jose Mourinho sought to play down any problems at the club by hosting a barbecue yesterday. After Friday's training session ahead of this weekend's match at Espanyol, the Special One whipped out the charcoal and got some burgers going to show the unity [.