Off the Post Archives for January 2010

Video: Sergio Aguero’s son / Diego Maradona’s grandson has a hell of a right peg

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Isn't genetics great? If Diego Maradona is your grandad and Sergio Aguero is you dad, the odds of you being a decent footballer are stacked pretty heavily in your favour. Then again there is also the chance that you will become a coke fiend. At less than two years old Benjamin Aguero seems to be [...

Video: Bizarre collapsing free-kick routine from China

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The traditional set-piece dummy goes slapstick Ridiculous free-kick routines rarely have the desired effect leaving the participants looking pretty stupid. And this clumsy reworking of the good old dummy free-kick is no exception. The footage comes from China. Two players both make dummy runs towards the ball, bump into each other and fall over while [.

Top five conclusions Premier League 30 December

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1. Arsene Wenger must be sick of late goals at the DW Stadium. 2. It's a good job Paul Konchesky was subbed off last night or Liverpool fans would have had nothing to cheer at all. 3. Charles N'Zogbia's headbutt was a bit over the top, but we did hear that Jack Wilshere was trying [...]

Cesc Fabregas tweets valid handball complaint after Wigan match

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wighandbh830w9g Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas was less than pleased after his side were refused a penalty in last night's 2-2 against Wigan. The midfielder could not help but notice the similarities with his own handball offence in the 2-3 derby defeat to Tottenham in November. He tweeted his disapproval at the two different outcomes shortly [.

Top 10 names you’ll be sick of by the end of January

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Transfer window gossip fodder Every time the transfer window opens a nasty draught of rumours and sagas creeps in. If you follow the these closely you inevitably see the same names recurring over and over again. Here are 10 players we think will feature prominently in the gossip columns in January. 1.

Top 10 names you’ll be sick of by the end of January

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Transfer window gossip fodder Every time the transfer window opens a nasty draught of rumours and sagas creeps in. If you follow the these closely you inevitably see the same names recurring over and over again. Here are 10 players we think will feature prominently in the gossip columns in January. 1.

Cesc Fabregas tweets valid handball complaint after Wigan match

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wighandbh830w9g Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas was less than pleased after his side were refused a penalty in last night's 2-2 against Wigan. The midfielder could not help but notice the similarities with his own handball offence in the 2-3 derby defeat to Tottenham in November. He tweeted his disapproval at the two different outcomes shortly [.

Top five conclusions Premier League 30 December

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1. Arsene Wenger must be sick of late goals at the DW Stadium. 2. It's a good job Paul Konchesky was subbed off last night or Liverpool fans would have had nothing to cheer at all. 3. Charles N'Zogbia's headbutt was a bit over the top, but we did hear that Jack Wilshere was trying [...]


Video: Bizarre collapsing free-kick routine from China

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The traditional set-piece dummy goes slapstick Ridiculous free-kick routines rarely have the desired effect leaving the participants looking pretty stupid. And this clumsy reworking of the good old dummy free-kick is no exception. The footage comes from China. Two players both make dummy runs towards the ball, bump into each other and fall over while [.

Galatasaray fans attack Fenerbache youth players

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More Turkey problems at Christmas Yours truly will be attending the game between Forest and Derby tonight, and expects it to be a damn feisty occasion. However despite the hate between the two clubs, I'm not sure that it will get anywhere near as bad as this. This is footage from and under 17 game [.

Video: Sergio Aguero’s son / Diego Maradona’s grandson has a hell of a right peg

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Isn't genetics great? If Diego Maradona is your grandad and Sergio Aguero is you dad, the odds of you being a decent footballer are stacked pretty heavily in your favour. Then again there is also the chance that you will become a coke fiend. At less than two years old Benjamin Aguero seems to be [...

Video: West Ham star Victor Obinna’s vicious assault on the Vatican

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Hammers forward's Papal attack Victor Obinna took time out from yesterday's 1-1 draw at home to Everton to punch the leader of the Catholic Church. According to Sky Sports, the Nigerian hit the Pope during the match.


OTP Podcast: Episode 6 – Krul To Be Kind

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An audio turkey sandwich to accompany the festive fixtures The OTP podcast Episode 6 is like Christmas leftovers: it's nobody's first choice, but sooner or later it gets digested one way or another. Playing the part of cold turkey this week we have Ray Stubbs making a name for himself in the rap game and [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League 29 December

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1. Manchester City's owners will be sending a very nice hamper to 'Lee Bowyer c/o BCFC, St Andrew's'. Arguably the first time Bowyer's struck a blow on behalf of a group of Asian gentlemen. 2. OTP is disappointed with Everton fans. We were promised that if Tony Hibbert scored they would riot. He scores a [.

Newcastle’s Jose Enrique in trouble after tweeting his injury problems

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Full-back threatens to quit Twitter, Stephen Fry style Jose Enrique risked the wrath of manager Alan Pardew after alerting Tottenham that he would not be facing them in yesterday's Premier League clash via his Twitter account. The Spaniard had a tight hamstring and was unable to feature at White Hart Lane.

Blackburn chickens held in police cell at Ewood Park

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Feathered football hooligans Chickens released at Blackburn's defeat to Stoke were locked-up in a police cell at the ground until after the match. The birds were given free range status by Rovers fans protesting against their Indian poultry form owners Venky's. But they were soon back in confined conditions after being placed under arrest!

Top five conclusions: Arsenal 3-1 Chelsea

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1. Arsene Wenger must be kicking himself. All these years he has been tormented by Didier Drogba and it turns out he had the antidote all the time: Johan Djourou. 2. Cesc Fabregas' head hamstring had obviously loosened up by last night. 3. It appears Chelsea are a bit like Samson. Rather than hair, it [.

Andy Gray gives Sky Sports viewers the finger (again)

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More Monday Night Football gestures Sky Sports pundit Andy Gray can't seem to cope when he lands a big match for his Monday Night Football slot. Whenever he gets an old Big Four clash he seems to develop a severe case of gesticular Tourette's. We showed his double middle finger salute during his recent coverage [.

Video: Cercle Brugge fan proposes on the pitch. Gets rejected

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Stadium-sized humiliation This Belgian football fan had a bit of a dampener put on his Christmas festivities when he decided to propose on the pitch before the Boxing Day match against Standard Liege. The chap, named Frank, was soon regretting his grand public gesture when girlfriend Natalie turned him down and did a runner.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football Betting tips for 28-29 December

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Tevez to fire, Milwall to win and a wispy-haired chin Well well, another Christmas over. Not for me, no way Jose Mourinho. Christmas in this punter's household is very much continuing, with a hangover that will last until at least 2pm and a weight gain that won't be shifted til 2014. Anyway, yours truly made [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League Boxing Day matches

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1. Rafael Van Der Vaart is worth an extra man to Spurs. 2. Newcastle and Fulham were the most generous sides this Christmas. They both gifted 3-1 victories to Manchester City and West Ham respectively by serving up neatly wrapped goals for the opposition. 3. A more reluctant Santa Claus was Wayne Rooney, [.

Thank Ian Holloway’s wife for Blackpool’s entertaining football

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Mrs Olly is the brains of the operation Blackpool manager Ian Holloway has revealed that we can thank his missus for the attacking brand of football the Seasiders have entertained us with this season. Olly revealed he had been determined for his next side to play entertaining football after stewing over his exit from Leicester [.

Video: Harry Redknapp and Robert Pires square up, Rafael Van Der Vaart gets aroused

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Stare out: who will twitch first? Tempers flared towards the end of Tottenham's victory over Aston Villa yesterday with Harry Redknapp getting into a row with Robert Pires after the Frenchman committed a foul in front of the Spurs dugout. The spat was particularly exciting to Rafael Van Der Vaart, who can be seen molesting [.

Merry Christmas from Off The Post

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Halfway through the season's greetings We would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas, loyal OTP readers. Hopefully you've enjoyed our output in 2010 and we would like to think you will continue to do so in 2011. Not that we're clocking off for the year. Oh no, there is far too much festive [...]


Top 10 favourite posts of 2010

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In no particular order, the stories that we've enjoyed over the last year 1. Gareth Barry, Joe Hart, Adam Johnson and Shay Given get plastered in student digs 2. Jack Rodwell forced to launch Everton's new kit even though his mummy told him not to take his clothes off at the request of strange men. [.

Referee Howard Webb tells Blackpool to dive to get free-kicks

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You're not going down too easily, Seasiders Leading Premier League referee Howard Webb has visited Blackpool to tell their players to dive more often, according to Seasiders defender Ian Evatt. The Premier League newcomers received the visit as part of an FA initiative to build better relationships between players and match officials.

Manchester City drop Mario Balotelli for not smiling

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Mario lacking "strength and heart" Roberto Mancini has dropped striker Mario Balotelli for Manchester City's Boxing Day clash with Newcastle for lacking festive spirit. The miserable Italian has put in a couple of grumpy performances in recent weeks, so Mancini has benched the youngster until he learns how to smile.

Video: Rafael Benitez brings coffee for Sky Sports News reporter camped outside his house

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Fat Spanish waiter delivers drinks Rafa Benitez took pity on the frozen Sky Sports News team pitched outside the gates of his home in Wirral by bringing a cup of coffee out to them. We don't know if Sky sent one man and his camera or if Rafa decided that only one person merited a [...]


Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football Betting tips for 26-27 December

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Man United to carry on, Ince's revival and a letter to Grandpa There will be a double bill over the festive period for those of you that want to add to your Christmas coffers, with today's offering examining the games for Boxing Day and the 27th. Last week's bets turned into something of a washout [.

Rafa Benitez sacked by Inter Milan

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The Adidas coat was a step too far Inter Milan have confirmed that Rafael Benitez has been sacked after an agreement was reached over the termination of his contract. The Wirral's foremost barista had been treading a tightrope for a few days after speaking out against Inter owner Massimo Moratti following last weekend's FIFA Club [.

Arsene Wenger: ‘Nani must be 1,600 times more intelligent than me’

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Arsenal boss puts down cheeky upstart Arsene Wenger has hit back at Manchester United winger Nani over his assertion that the Premier League is a two-horse race between United and Chelsea. The Gunners boss was clear that he believes his side are also in with a shout, and took the opportunity to have a dig [.

Video: Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson takes ‘lying’ journalists to task

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Fergie attacks hacks We were going to call it a rant but it's actually very measured and we didn't want to be accused of twisting what he said. Fergie switched the hairdryer to the cool setting to reprimand journalists from the national dailies he felt had been twisting his words. He went as far to [.

Liverpool bans leave banners begging for Rafa Benitez return at his English home

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Under-fire Inter boss wanted at Anfield Rafael Benitez is being lined up for a Liverpool return by come of the club's supporters judging by the Christmas decorations at his home. The gates to the Spaniard's house in Wirral have been adorned with banners asking him to return to Anfield. With Benitez's current stand-off with Inter [.

Athletic Bilbao coach Joaquin Caparros mocks the Pep Guardiola / Cristiano Ronaldo push incident

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Bilbao Hangbags Re-enactment Society Remember Cristiano Ronaldo's push on Pep Guardiola during El Clasico? Well, Athletic Bilbao coach Joaquin Caparros had a bit of a joke at his Barcelona counterpart's expense over the incident during Tuesday night's Copa Del Rey clash between the two sides. Caparros mimicked Guardiola's ball juggling antics as Dani Alves approached [.

Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

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Lawrooo West, where the skies are blue Christmas is meant to be a time at which we can share happy times with our friends, sharing mulled wine and memories. Unfortunately, Lawro has been left alone like a new puppy on Boxing Day, forced into doing his own predictions without an air of competition. Maybe partly [.

The Top 10 Off The Post posts of 2010, as voted for by your mouse

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Tomorrow we'll recap some of our highlights of 2010, but these are the posts which brought most traffic to OTP this year. 1. Video: Aaron Ramsey's leg broken by Ryan Shawcross Like football's answer to Quentin Tarantino, we try to give you storylines but really you just want the gore. 2. Liverpool frolic in the [.

Everton star Marouane Fellaini gags The Sun over “embarrassing” photos

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Fellaini's wig shame to be revealed? The Sun have been banned from publishing what they claim are "embarrassing" photos of Everton's Marouane Fellaini. The Belgian international got a banning order stopping the images being used in yesterday's newspaper. He was said to be "very upset" that the photos had been taken.

Top 5 January Transfer Window signings

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It's not all Nsereko, Boumsong and Alves Since the January transfer window was introduced by FIFA for the 2002/3 season it has attracted many critics. Steve Coppell was quoted as saying: It brings on a fire-sale mentality, causes unrest via the media and means clubs buy too many players Well he is often right, but [.

Man City striker Mario Balotelli claims only Lionel Messi is better and he’s never heard of Jack Wilshere

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Citeh bad boy is Golden Boy It's been a week for awkward award acceptances. Following Dimitar Berbatov's don't vote for me again plea, Mario Balotelli has managed to make an idiot of himself as he was awarded the Golden Boy award for the best Under-21 player in Europe by Italian newspaper Tuttosport.

The Off The Post Nativity Play

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Hay in the manger? We've got a whole Bale After much deliberation (click here to listen to the amusing deliberation), the OTP Podcast team have settled on the cast for the OTP Nativity. Find out who made the cut after the jump... Shepherds The Podcast team were on the lookout for some managers who had [.

OTP’s Christmas Themed Eleven

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What a load of baubles Christmas does funny things to people. Mistletoe, mulled wine and mince pies have all lead to significant incidents of embarassment on my part. And now I thought that I would invite further shame by creating my own Christmas XI. At least it is a perfect way of testing our new [.

Jamie Carragher to be fast-tracked as future England manager

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Coach Carragher tipped for the top Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher has been earmarked as a future England manager by the Football Association. The Reds stalwart could now be offered the chance to take a shortcut to the job by working his way up the national team ranks. FA officials are reportedly so impressed with Carragher's [.

Video: Arsenal’s Bacary Sagna sings ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’

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Gooner tidings he brings to you and your king Not quite as entertaining as Villarreal but a valiant effort nonetheless, Arsenal have released this little Christmas video. The star of the show is Bacary Sagna, who treats you to a chorus of We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Now, none of the other players on [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 5 – Christmas Special

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Oh I wish it could be Podcast every day The Off The Post Podcast Christmas Special has a number of presents waiting for you under the tree. Open it up and you'll find gifts such as Owen Coyle's voodoo rituals, Lech Poznan's unique brand of supporter, some outrageous geordie commentary from El Classico, and John Arne [.

Meet Leighton Baines: music blogger

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Leighton Baines, you probably think this song is about you With his Carly Simon-inspired chant (see above) among the pick of current terrace songs, Everton left-back Leighton Baines was already associated with musical excellence. But to enforce this point, he has now launched his own music blog on his club's official website.

New OTP comment system

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Go forth and comment As a little pre-Christmas treat, we have installed a new comment system on OTP. You can rock up logged into your Twitter or Facebook and comment with great ease in comparison to before. And fear not traditionalists and spammers: you can still select the good old name/URL combo if that's what [.

Video: Villarreal get into Christmas spirit, have kickabout with baubles

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Fantastic festive cheese La Liga outfit Villarreal have thrown themselves wholeheartedly into the Christmas festivities by putting together this video featuring some of their star players. The squad get together for a Christmas meal (naturally prepared by Italian chef Giuseppe Rossi if the Spanish do one thing well, it's stereotyping) and singsong.

Football Lookalikes: Mario Balotelli and his glove hat & Feathers McGraw from Wallace and Gromit

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Super hat Mario Snoods are so last week. Glove hats are where it's at. Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli was sporting this monstrosity as he arrived at Eastlands for last night's clash with Everton. It's quite a look, we are sure you will agree. We would suggest you ask for one in your Christmas stocking, [.

Video: Everton’s Leighton Baines dents Man City’s title hopes with his right foot!

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Weaker foot wonder When you play alongside Tony Hibbert and Phil Neville it is difficult for any goal you score to stand out as particularly, but OTP is going to stand-up for Leighton Baines and say that a right-footed strike from the Toffees' left-back is quite a rarity. Just not rare enough to cause the [.

Manchester City captain Carlos Tevez withdraws transfer request

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Tev finally reads to the end of Rooney, finds out it ends happily Carlos Tevez has withdrawn his transfer request and is happy to stay at Manchester City, according to the club. The skipper had an emergency meeting with chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak ahead of yesterday's defeat to Everton. City released a statement which said: [.

Dimitar Berbatov tells journalists: ‘Stop voting for me – I don’t want awards!’

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Miserable Bulgar Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov used his acceptance speech at yesterday's Bulgarian Footballer of the Year to issue a plea that he doesn't win the award next year. Berba was picking up the award for the seventh time and wanted the voting panel of journalists to be 100 per cent clear: he doesn't [.

OTP Rebounds: Crying David Beckham, fighting old men and a hairy t-shirt

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A deft switch of play to set-up some team-mates... La Liga old man scrap [The Offside] Becks wells up [The Sun] And he's angling for another loan move to Europe [Guardian] The latest offering from the Umbro Tee Shop. It's a 'Do Are Ya? special! [Umbro Blog] Don't forget to subscribe to and five-star [.

Video: A referee finally fights back with Neil Warnock

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QPR boss meets his match official match QPR boss Neil Warnock has turned haranguing referees into an art-form. But following his side's 2-0 defeat to Leeds on Saturday, he found referee Scott Mathieson was more than a match for his tirade. Cameras in the Elland Road tunnel caught Warnock vowing to show Mathieson "four in [.

BBC take inadvertent dig at defending of Liverpool’s Glen Johnson

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Dodgy scouting report For some time now, pundits have been suggesting that Liverpool right-back Glen Johnson might be better deployed as a winger since he is brilliant at attacking and hopeless at defending. Today's BBC Gossip Column goes a step further and brands Johnson a "striker". Take the hint, Glen.

OTP Premier League Top Goalscorers Quiz

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The weather outside is frightful, and it's dreadfully boring with no football on. If anything, Monday is worse because at least on a Saturday or Sunday you can concentrate on Football Manager, PES or FIFA. Today at the water cooler I heard two males talking about Strictly Come Dancing (admittedly regarding the looks of the [.

Rafael Benitez gives Inter Milan ultimatum, gets sacked

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Rumours from San Siro say Rafa has gone Inter Milan have reportedly sacked coach Rafa Benitez. The ex-Liverpool boss gave the Inter board a pretty unequivocal ultimatum after securing victory in the FIFA Mickey Mouse World Cup yesterday. The Spaniard used the post-match celebrations to air his grievances, demanding more support and a host of [.

Plymouth Argyle manager Peter Reid puts Madron FC through their paces

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Reidy gives a masterclass to worst team in Britain As revealed exclusively on Off The Post last week, Plymouth manager Peter Reid has visited OTP's adopted side Madron FC to take the self-proclaimed worst team in Britain for a special training session. Sadly, the rumoured training match against the Argyle squad did not materialise but [.

Colchester United squad endure nightmare journey after postponement

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The Neverending Coach Trip Colchester United's weekend was a bit of a write-off but thankfully their team bus wasn't after they spent a big chunk of the weekend on a coach. The hardy League One outfit battled through the frozen conditions to make it to the West Country on Friday ahead of their [.

OTP Rebounds: Crying David Beckham, fighting old men and a hairy t-shirt

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A deft switch of play to set-up some team-mates... La Liga old man scrap [The Offside] Becks wells up [The Sun] And he's angling for another loan move to Europe [Guardian] The latest offering from the Umbro Tee Shop. It's a 'Do Are Ya? special! [Umbro Blog] Don't forget to subscribe to and five-star [.

Colchester United squad endure nightmare journey after postponement

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The Neverending Coach Trip Colchester United's weekend was a bit of a write-off but thankfully their team bus wasn't after they spent a big chunk of the weekend on a coach. The hardy League One outfit battled through the frozen conditions to make it to the West Country on Friday ahead of their [.

Plymouth Argyle manager Peter Reid puts Madron FC through their paces

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Reidy gives a masterclass to worst team in Britain As revealed exclusively on Off The Post last week, Plymouth manager Peter Reid has visited OTP's adopted side Madron FC to take the self-proclaimed worst team in Britain for a special training session. Sadly, the rumoured training match against the Argyle squad did not materialise but [.

Rafael Benitez gives Inter Milan ultimatum, gets sacked

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Rumours from San Siro say Rafa has gone Inter Milan have reportedly sacked coach Rafa Benitez. The ex-Liverpool boss gave the Inter board a pretty unequivocal ultimatum after securing victory in the FIFA Mickey Mouse World Cup yesterday. The Spaniard used the post-match celebrations to air his grievances, demanding more support and a host of [.

Top conclusions Premier League weekend 18-19 December

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1. Never mind Heathrow Airport, the snow has brought that other great British institution Top 10 conclusions to a near standstill. 2. Contrary to appearances, Darren Bent's injury is not that serious and both his feet are still the right way round. 3. Due to more white precipitation around Premier League grounds than on a [.

Ipswich Town groundstaff take a phallic approach to snow clearance

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Getting balls in the box The pre-match warm-up (warm probably being the wrong word) at Portman Road for Ipswich Town's Championship match against Leicester City descended into a giant piece of graffiti, with the groundsman opting to clear only select areas of the pitch!

Video: Ipswich and Leicester play Stuart Attwell’s Hamstring Lottery

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Dodgy ref puts muscles to the test Controversy stalks referee Stuart Attwell like Leicester City manager Sven Goran Eriksson stalks former England players. So when blizzard conditions descended on the UK, there was only going to be one match official at the centre of the most farcical scenes of the day.

Video: A referee finally fights back with Neil Warnock

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QPR boss meets his match official match QPR boss Neil Warnock has turned haranguing referees into an art-form. But following his side's 2-0 defeat to Leeds on Saturday, he found referee Scott Mathieson was more than a match for his tirade. Cameras in the Elland Road tunnel caught Warnock vowing to show Mathieson "four in [.

BBC take inadvertent dig at defending of Liverpool’s Glen Johnson

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Dodgy scouting report For some time now, pundits have been suggesting that Liverpool right-back Glen Johnson might be better deployed as a winger since he is brilliant at attacking and hopeless at defending. Today's BBC Gossip Column goes a step further and brands Johnson a "striker". Take the hint, Glen.

OTP Premier League Top Goalscorers Quiz

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The weather outside is frightful, and it's dreadfully boring with no football on. If anything, Monday is worse because at least on a Saturday or Sunday you can concentrate on Football Manager, PES or FIFA. Today at the water cooler I heard two males talking about Strictly Come Dancing (admittedly regarding the looks of the [.

Top 10 conclusions: Champions League last-16 draw

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Psychic Arsene 1. Arsene Wenger is on the verge of being bundled into the back of a van by Michel Platini's henchmen. 2. Arsenal v Barcelona has got 0-0 written all over it. 3. Gareth Bale will presumably be relishing the opportunity to show the other half of Milan that he means business. 4. The [...

A beginner’s guide to football betting terms

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Sponsored post Over the years, as the organised betting on sports has taken hold of the sporting fan's imagination, betting has developed it's very own betting lingo to describe the intricacies of the gambling world. This language can seem bewildering to people who have never placed bets before but, as with any language, there are [.

Video: Comedy own goal from Qatar v Egypt

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Oops! As a defender, it is always best to keep your goalkeeper as far away from trouble as possible with your backpasses. That means passing to his favoured foot and off-target wherever possible. Egypt defender Wael Gomaa ignored most of the basic rules during his side's defeat to Qatar yesterday. We're not 100 per cent [.

Video: Gary Cahill gets confused, thinks he is playing Dodgeball (Sunderland v Bolton)

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Bolton defender forgets what sport he's playing Sunderland's Danny Welbeck was able to give his side the lead against Bolton Wanderers as Trotters centre-back Gary Cahill shunned a goal-line clearance in favour of belly-flopping over the ball. The England international managed to dive out of the way of Welbeck's header in rather bizarre fashion.

OTP Quiz of the Week 6

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Nineties and Naughties 1. Which Sheffield Wednesday player was Footballer of the Year in 1993? 2. Which League One club moved to a new 24,000 capacity stadium in 1994? 3. Who scored the only goal of the 1995 FA Cup Final? Foreign Imports 4. Which Paraguayan played for Newcastle in the Premier League between 1999-2001?

Sunderland’s Craig Gordon makes world class save

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Greatest save ever? It has been an incredibly frustrating weekend with the sodding weather, but Craig Gordon has taken it upon himself to brighten up everyone's time off, and also confirm a victory in save of the season competition with a wonder save from Zat Knight of Bolton. Best save you have seen in the [.

Game suspended as Club Brugge Fans throw snowballs

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Boys will be boys Although 'tis the season to be jolly, the referee in the game between Club Brugge and Anderlecht didn't quite see it this was as he suspended play after just seven minutes after fans pelted Jonathan Legear and Mbark Boussoufa with snowballs. Play did resume eventually, with Anderlecht running out 2-0 winners.

Top conclusions Premier League weekend 18-19 December

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1. Never mind Heathrow Airport, the snow has brought that other great British institution Top 10 conclusions to a near standstill. 2. Contrary to appearances, Darren Bent's injury is not that serious and both his feet are still the right way round. 3. Due to more white precipitation around Premier League grounds than on a [.

Ipswich Town groundstaff take a phallic approach to snow clearance

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Getting balls in the box The pre-match warm-up (warm probably being the wrong word) at Portman Road for Ipswich Town's Championship match against Leicester City descended into a giant piece of graffiti, with the groundsman opting to clear only select areas of the pitch!


Video: Ipswich and Leicester play Stuart Attwell’s Hamstring Lottery

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Dodgy ref puts muscles to the test Controversy stalks referee Stuart Attwell like Leicester City manager Sven Goran Eriksson stalks former England players. So when blizzard conditions descended on the UK, there was only going to be one match official at the centre of the most farcical scenes of the day.

Game suspended as Club Brugge Fans throw snowballs

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Boys will be boys Although 'tis the season to be jolly, the referee in the game between Club Brugge and Anderlecht didn't quite see it this was as he suspended play after just seven minutes after fans pelted Jonathan Legear and Mbark Boussoufa with snowballs. Play did resume eventually, with Anderlecht running out 2-0 winners.

Sunderland’s Craig Gordon makes world class save

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Greatest save ever? It has been an incredibly frustrating weekend with the sodding weather, but Craig Gordon has taken it upon himself to brighten up everyone's time off, and also confirm a victory in save of the season competition with a wonder save from Zat Knight of Bolton. Best save you have seen in the [.

OTP Quiz of the Week 6

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Nineties and Naughties 1. Which Sheffield Wednesday player was Footballer of the Year in 1993? 2. Which League One club moved to a new 24,000 capacity stadium in 1994? 3. Who scored the only goal of the 1995 FA Cup Final? Foreign Imports 4. Which Paraguayan played for Newcastle in the Premier League between 1999-2001?

Video: Gary Cahill gets confused, thinks he is playing Dodgeball (Sunderland v Bolton)

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Bolton defender forgets what sport he's playing Sunderland's Danny Welbeck was able to give his side the lead against Bolton Wanderers as Trotters centre-back Gary Cahill shunned a goal-line clearance in favour of belly-flopping over the ball. The England international managed to dive out of the way of Welbeck's header in rather bizarre fashion.

Top 10 reasons Madron FC should sign an ex-pat from America

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One man's impassioned plea Presumably spurred on by the glut of foreign-based players offering their service to OTP's adopted side Madron FC, one Englishman abroad has decided to chance his arm and see whether Britain's worst team could provide his ticket back to the Motherland. We enjoyed it so much, we have reproduced it in [.

Top 10 conclusions: Champions League last-16 draw

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Psychic Arsene 1. Arsene Wenger is on the verge of being bundled into the back of a van by Michel Platini's henchmen. 2. Arsenal v Barcelona has got 0-0 written all over it. 3. Gareth Bale will presumably be relishing the opportunity to show the other half of Milan that he means business. 4. The [...

A beginner’s guide to football betting terms

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Sponsored post Over the years, as the organised betting on sports has taken hold of the sporting fan's imagination, betting has developed it's very own betting lingo to describe the intricacies of the gambling world. This language can seem bewildering to people who have never placed bets before but, as with any language, there are [.

Video: Comedy own goal from Qatar v Egypt

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Oops! As a defender, it is always best to keep your goalkeeper as far away from trouble as possible with your backpasses. That means passing to his favoured foot and off-target wherever possible. Egypt defender Wael Gomaa ignored most of the basic rules during his side's defeat to Qatar yesterday. We're not 100 per cent [.

Mark Lawrenson’s comedy column

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Where do you Lawro, my lovely? After getting one correct score and two results from last weekend's ten Premier League games, our boy Lawro is back, this time guessing against Strictly Come Dancing judge Len Goodman (no, me neither). It would be fair to say that Lawro has gone on the conservative this week, using [.

Did Paul Konchesky’s mum call Liverpool fans ‘scouse scum’ on Facebook?

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Cos that's the way it looks Doing the rounds at the moment is this screenshot of a Facebook status attributed to Carol Konchesky, mum of Liverpool left-back Paul. The message, dated to the early hours of 14 November, makes some pretty unflattering comments about her offspring's, erm, supporters. Carol dismisses Reds supporters as "Liverpool scouse [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football Betting tips for 18-19 December

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soccer bet it snow, bet it snow, bet it snow Another week of profit last time out, £22 in all. Split the money across three presents for her indoors, because there is simply no excuse for a lack of generosity at the time of year. A decent return this week and it might be a [...]

Arsene Wenger’s X-Files: The Champions League draw is rigged, Arsenal will face Barcelona

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Things are getting strange, he's starting to worry We all no doubt took an interest in the BBC's Panorama revelations on World Cup vote bribes earlier at the end of last month. But it now appears that some of us took more of an interest than others. Take Arsene Wenger, for instance. The Arsenal boss [.

Video: The little girl who cried ‘Where’s Xavi?’ gets to meet her hero

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Remember the young girl who was distraught when she didn't get to meet Xavi at the Spain World Cup victory parade? A clever Catalan TV station has come up with the brilliant idea of bringing here along to the studio and making her dream come true. Emotional? Xavi certainly seems to think so. The Barca [.

Kitman: Who has the longest coat in football? Arsene Wenger or Gus Poyet?

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Giant overcoats In the past we have mocked Arsene Wenger and his knee-length puffa. We just assumed it was the longest coat in football. That was until we spotted Gus Poyet's dugout attire for Brighton's match against Huddersfield last weekend. The ex-Chelsea man wore the first bit of gear we have seen that could truly [.

‘Do Are Ya? David Beckham runs out of hairstyles, starts again

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A new pair of curtains It's official: David Beckham has exhausted the imaginations of hair stylists the world over. He has come full circle and returned to the boyband curtains that served him so well during his early days at Manchester United. The LA Galaxy man showed off his new/old haircut at last night's A [.

Video: Wayne Rooney’s sly off the ball kick at Marouane Chamakh

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Naughty boy (again) Can you commit a professional foul in your own half with most of your team-mates behind the ball?! Wayne Rooney had a good go. He tripped Arsenal striker Marouane Chamakh as the Gunners threatened to launch a counter attack into Manchester United's half. Chamakh is really unlucky that Rooney was on target [.

Video: TP Mazembe’s bum-bouncing keeper is at it again, Inter Milan next to face his happy backside

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Curious celebration gets another outing This week's OTP Podcast (click here to listen if you haven't already) was revelling in the joyous goal celebration of TP Mazembe goalkeeper Muteba Kidiaba. The crazy keeper bounced around his penalty area on his backside as if he was riding an imaginary horse (the video's here if you missed [.

Investigation launched into irregular red card betting in SPL

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Off, off, off, off to collect my winnings Irregular betting activities around a Scottish Premier League match are being investigated by the Association of British Bookmakers (ABB). Motherwell player Steve Jennings was red carded against Hearts, which alerted bookmakers to possible problems. Bets of £100, £200 and £500 on a Motherwell player being sent-off were [.

OTP Rebounds: Desktop OTP fun, Sunday League-ers slate Prem stars and Cristiano Ronaldo is Billy No-Mates

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Meanwhile, elsewhere on the interweb A short documentary comparing the lives Premier League stars with their Sunday League counterparts [YouTube] OTP is now available on your desktop, alongside the latest news from your favourite team, on this free app [Countdown To Kick Off] Our pals at Umbro have gone all exclusive on us with some [.

Video: Linesman knocked to the ground by clearance, loses his wig!

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Double assistant ref FAIL Our American cousins like to do things a bit differently. Take this video, for instance. Try to ignore the mind-boggling pitch markings (no wonder all the players look pretty ponderous they've no idea where the touchline is). Now try to work out why the linesman has got a whistle.

Football Lookalikes: Roberto Mancini and Harry Potter

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Eastlands In an usual attempt to deflect the glare of the Carlos Tevez saga away from himself, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini decided to wear some fairly thick-lensed glasses for the press conference ahead of tonight's Europa League clash with Juventus in Turin.

Video: Rio Ferdinand stars in SoccerXizer spoof advert

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Meet the UK captain of the national team Just yesterday we were moaning that England's top footballers don't get involved in enough ridiculous adverts. Well, we spoke to soon. This new viral, which you eventually find out is for energy company E-ON, might be lacking a bear but it's certainly a bit different to your [.

Rushden & Diamonds keeper commits suicide after fiancée’s affair with John Terry’s brother

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Tragic goalie hanged himself Goalkeeper Dale Roberts took his own life after his fiancée had an affair with John Terry's brother Paul. The Sun reports that the 24-year-old was found dead when his fiancée Lindsey Cowan, aged 25, returned to the flat they shared and found the door had been locked from the inside.

‘Do Are Ya? David Beckham runs out of hairstyles, starts again

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A new pair of curtains It's official: David Beckham has exhausted the imaginations of hair stylists the world over. He has come full circle and returned to the boyband curtains that served him so well during his early days at Manchester United. The LA Galaxy man showed off his new/old haircut at last night's A [.

OTP Podcast: Episode 4 – Bonkers Balotelli

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Is it Wednesday? It is you know. Must be OTP Podcast time! With Christmas fast approaching it's time for a fourth helping of the piping hot Off The Post Podcast. On the menu this week, we have the agitated Mario Ballotelli's tribute to Captain Jack Sparrow to start, a main course of Roy Hodgson's new [.

Video: Wayne Rooney’s sly off the ball kick at Marouane Chamakh

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Naughty boy (again) Can you commit a professional foul in your own half with most of your team-mates behind the ball?! Wayne Rooney had a good go. He tripped Arsenal striker Marouane Chamakh as the Gunners threatened to launch a counter attack into Manchester United's half. Chamakh is really unlucky that Rooney was on target [.

Top 10 football DVDs for Christmas

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Sponsored post You've been asked the question a hundred times already this year: "What do you want for Christmas?" And while the true answer may well be a 50in 3D TV with a PlayStation 3 and a year's supply of beer, chances are your mum/girlfriend/wife/dad/brother (delete as appropriate) won't be able to stretch to that, [.

Video: TP Mazembe’s bum-bouncing keeper is at it again, Inter Milan next to face his happy backside

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Curious celebration gets another outing This week's OTP Podcast (click here to listen if you haven't already) was revelling in the joyous goal celebration of TP Mazembe goalkeeper Muteba Kidiaba. The crazy keeper bounced around his penalty area on his backside as if he was riding an imaginary horse (the video's here if you missed [.

Investigation launched into irregular red card betting in SPL

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Off, off, off, off to collect my winnings Irregular betting activities around a Scottish Premier League match are being investigated by the Association of British Bookmakers (ABB). Motherwell player Steve Jennings was red carded against Hearts, which alerted bookmakers to possible problems. Bets of £100, £200 and £500 on Jennings being sent-off were placed online [.

Video: Linesman knocked to the ground by clearance, loses his wig!

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Double assistant ref FAIL Our American cousins like to do things a bit differently. Take this video, for instance. Try to ignore the mind-boggling pitch markings (no wonder all the players look pretty ponderous they've no idea where the touchline is). Now try to work out why the linesman has got a whistle.

Football Lookalikes: Roberto Mancini and Harry Potter

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Eastlands In an usual attempt to deflect the glare of the Carlos Tevez saga away from himself, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini decided to wear some fairly thick-lensed glasses for the press conference ahead of tonight's Europa League clash with Juventus in Turin.

Video: Rio Ferdinand stars in SoccerXizer spoof advert

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Meet the UK captain of the national team Just yesterday we were moaning that England's top footballers don't get involved in enough ridiculous adverts. Well, we spoke to soon. This new viral, which you eventually find out is for energy company E-ON, might be lacking a bear but it's certainly a bit different to your [.

Rushden & Diamonds keeper commits suicide after fiancée’s affair with John Terry’s brother

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Tragic goalie hanged himself Goalkeeper Dale Roberts took his own life after his fiancée had an affair with John Terry's brother Paul. The Sun reports that the 24-year-old was found dead when his fiancée Lindsey Cowan, aged 25, returned to the flat they shared and found the door had been locked from the inside.

Don’t forget to check out the December issue of Manchester City’s official magazine

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Is 'Unplugged' footballing parlance for breaking your contract? Make sure you fill the Christmas stocking of the Manchester City fanatic in your life with the latest edition of ManC, the official Manchester City magazine. The December edition features one Carlos Alberto Tevez as its cover boy. The spiel on the club's website promoting the mag [.

Plymouth Argyle manager Peter Reid takes up Madron FC coaching role!

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Reidy to put OTP's team through their paces Cheer up, Madron FC. Oh what can it mean. To a poor Cornish outift. Who are trained by Peter Reid? That's right, OTP fans. Plymouth Argyle manager Peter Reid is heading to our favourite team / the worst team in Britain to take a training session. The [...]

Video: Barcelona midfielder Andres Iniesta befriends a bear

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The Ghost gets a new housemate You just don't get adverts of this calibre on British TV, especially not starring the country's best footballers. The basic message is that you need to buy Gol TV if you want to watch La Liga matches but along the way Andres Iniesta injures a bear, allows the bear [...]

OTP Podcast: Episode 4 – Bonkers Balotelli

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Is it Wednesday? It is you know. Must be OTP Podcast time! With Christmas fast approaching it's time for a fourth helping of the piping hot Off The Post Podcast. On the menu this week, we have the agitated Mario Ballotelli's tribute to Captain Jack Sparrow to start, a main course of Roy Hodgson's new [.

Video: Lionel Messi’s napkin contract

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Not quite but the back of a fag packet but pretty close Not too many used paper napkins have a lifespan of 10 years. But the one signed by Lionel Messi on December 14, 2000, to secure his move to Barcelona is still going strong and takes pride of place in the office of his [...]

Manchester City prankster leaves a dirty message on the back of Carlos Tevez’s Hummer

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4×4 foul play A mystery Manchester City employee had some fun at Carlos Tevez's expense yesterday. The Argentinian's Hummer had the slogan 'Once a Blue, always a Blue' scrawled in dirt on the back of it. The amusing message up to now most associated with Wayne Rooney's declarations of love for Everton shows [.

Lech Poznan fans flood out children’s game against Spurs

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I think it's called loyalty...or insanity Every now and then a video comes along that makes me chuckle under my breath for hours, whereas other people watching it merely sort of raise an eyebrow and half a smile. This may be one of those. When Tottenham Hotspur Under 12s travelled to face Lech Poznan Under [.

Top 10 football DVDs for Christmas

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Sponsored post You've been asked the question a hundred times already this year: "What do you want for Christmas?" And while the true answer may well be a 50in 3D TV with a PlayStation 3 and a year's supply of beer, chances are your mum/girlfriend/wife/dad/brother (delete as appropriate) won't be able to stretch to that, [.

Blackburn owners confirm they’re considering making Diego Maradona their new manager

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From Big Sam to Diego: the biggest leap in football history? Blackburn Rovers are interested in appointing Diego Maradona as their new manager, their owners have confirmed. The Venky's Group originally hinted that they wanted an English boss. But their latest comments suggest they might be lining up a marquee appointment and that the ex-Argentina [.

Game review: Football Superstars

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Sponsored post If we're honest, we all dream of becoming Football Superstars. The sad fact remains and I'm trying to break this to you as gently as possible that none of us will ever left the Champions League trophy above our heads. Well, unless Carlos Puyol has come across this article during his [.

Plymouth Argyle manager Peter Reid takes up Madron FC coaching role!

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Reidy to put OTP's team through their paces Cheer up, Madron FC. Oh what can it mean. To a poor Cornish outift. Who are trained by Peter Reid? That's right, OTP fans. Plymouth Argyle manager Peter Reid is heading to our favourite team / the worst team in Britain to take a training session. The [...]


Top five re-workings of the Carlos Tevez ‘Welcome to Manchester’ billboard

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Remember the great Manchester Billboard War of 2009? The ceasefire was never particularly observed and it is have been well and truly broken in the wake of Carlos Tevez handing in his transfer request. Here is a collection of some of the Photoshop re-workings of the infamous 'Welcome to Manchester' advert taken out when Tevez [.

Don’t forget to check out the December issue of Manchester City’s official magazine

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Is 'Unplugged' footballing parlance for breaking your contract? Make sure you fill the Christmas stocking of the Manchester City fanatic in your life with the latest edition of ManC, the official Manchester City magazine. The December edition features one Carlos Alberto Tevez as its cover boy. The spiel on the club's website promoting the mag [.

Andy Gray gives Sky Sports viewers a middle finger salute

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Up yours, subscribers Sky Sports pundit Andy Gray channelled his inner gangsta as he gave viewers a double middle finger salute during last night's coverage of Manchester United's victory over Arsenal. Monday Night Football always goes to his head a bit even after all these years, doesn't it? You want to remember who pays your [.

Video: Wayne Rooney misses Chris Waddle-esque penalty against Arsenal

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Two points for the Salford City Reds Manchester United nicked a 1-0 victory against Arsenal at Old Trafford in last night's big Premier League clash. But the winning goal, from the head of Ji-Sung Park, has had its thunder stolen by Wayne Rooney's continued mishaps with cows' backsides and banjos. The out-of-sorts striker blazed a [.

SILKS! Rio Ferdinand slips his favourite hashtag into post-match interview

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#silks Cheeky tweeter Rio Ferdinand managed to plug his favourite Twitter hashtag during an interview after Manchester United's 1-0 win over Arsenal yesterday evening. Rio regularly uses the word #silks in his tweets as a synonym for skills, as in the phrase silky skills. But last night he unleashed his new-fangled vocabulary on an unsuspecting [.

Was Big Sam Allardyce sacked by Blackburn because he didn’t want to sign Geovanni and Kris Boyd

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The man from The Sun says 'yes' Blackburn reportedly fired Big Sam Allardyce after he clashed with the new owners over potential January transfer targets. The club's Indian owners Venky's Group allegedly have their sights set on Brazilian veteran Geovanni, who has averaged more than a club every year since 2006, and Middlesbrough misfit Kris [.

Blackburn Rovers manager Sam Allardyce leaves the club

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Rovers part company with Big Sam Blackburn have confirmed their manager Sam Allardyce has been sacked. The club's new owners Venky's have sacked Allardyce saying he is not the right man for the job. A statement released by the club said: "We have taken this decision as part of our wider plans and ambitions for [.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter suggests homosexuals don’t have sex during Qatar 2022

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Sepp plays down World Cup fears Sepp Blatter has joked that homosexuals should give celibacy a try if they head to the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. Concerns about hosting the World Cup in a country where drinking alcohol in public and homosexuality are illegal have been raised since the Middle East country was awarded [.

Coventry boss Aidy Boothroyd’s unlikely theory on Marlon King’s reception

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Boo boys or Boothroyd boys? Fresh from the appeal against his conviction for sexual assault being rejected, Coventry City striker and ex-jailbird Marlon King has found his status as a target for opposition fans has only increased. But Sky Blues manager Aidy Boothroyd is not entirely convinced that his convict striker is the intended target [.

Blackburn Rovers manager Sam Allardyce leaves the club

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Rovers part company with Big Sam Blackburn have confirmed their manager Sam Allardyce has been sacked. The club's new owners Venky's have sacked Allardyce saying he is not the right man for the job. A statement released by the club said: "We have taken this decision as part of our wider plans and ambitions for [.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter suggests homosexuals don’t have sex during Qatar 2022

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Sepp plays down World Cup fears Sepp Blatter has joked that homosexuals should give celibacy a try if they head to the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. Concerns about hosting the World Cup in a country where drinking alcohol in public and homosexuality are illegal have been raised since the Middle East country was awarded [.

Video: Jose Mourinho needs a check-up after headbutting dugout

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Mourinho not as hard-headed as we thought OTP has suspected for some time now that Jose Mourinho needed his head seeing to. And the moment arrived during Real Madrid's victory over Real Sociedad yesterday. An over-exciting Special One smacked his noggin on the dugout as he jumped around in his seat, despite his side being [.

Premier League weekend in numbers

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Wolves have done it, Chelsea's foreign legion, and an England statistic to remember  22 They did it. After 22 games in all competitions without one, Wolves finally kept a clean sheet yesterday 0 Although they threatened too for a while at St James', Liverpool have still not gained a single point from [.

Unexpected winners in the Manchester United crossbar challenge

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Red Devils take on the woodwork Half-a-dozen Manchester United players have taken on the crossbar challenge. Wes Brown, Darren Fletcher, John O'Shea, Rafael, Fabio and Darron Gibson each took three pot-shots at the bar. The result was surprising to say the least. In fact, if OTP had to pick the players we would expect to [.

Video: Master tactician Sam Allardyce shows how to get your message across

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How to make a smooth change in formation Correct us if we are wrong, but we think Sam Allardyce would like Blackburn to 4-4-2. Rather than get this message across as efficiently as possible, Big Sam decides to give his side their regular eyesight check-up. The Rovers gaffer then realises that not only are his [.

Barcelona break the record for most passes in a La Liga match. Maybe.

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Pass masters Barcelona set a new world record for most passes in a football match as they demolished Real Sociedad 5-0 yesterday. The free-scoring La Liga champions strung together an impressive 938 passes during the rout. Not only is that the most passes in a match since Opta records began in 2006, it also smashes [.

Coventry boss Aidy Boothroyd’s unlikely theory on Marlon King’s reception

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Boo boys or Boothroyd boys? Fresh from the appeal against his conviction for sexual assault being rejected, Coventry City striker and ex-jailbird Marlon King has found his status as a target for opposition fans has only increased. But Sky Blues manager Aidy Boothroyd is not entirely convinced that his convict striker is the intended target [.

Roy Hodgson tries to rub away the anger

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Getting more Dick Dastardly as every day goes by You have to feel sorry for Roy Hodgson. Whatever he seems to do in training, Liverpool defenders just love having a mindf*ck and gifting opponents a goal. Shortly after Newcastle's second yesterday, Woy finally lost the plot. Like a hamster violently washing his face, Roy scraped [.

Top 10 conclusions Spurs v Chelsea

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1. Like a destructive part of your personality that you keep under lock and key only for it to escape at the office Christmas party, is Naughty Gomes back? A blooper for Chelsea's first and a rugby tackle on Ramires for the penalty. The resulting save will help, but Spurs fans will hope Count von [..

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 11-12 December

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1. Only in the crazy world of Heurelho Gomes can you concede a ridiculous howler, give away the clumsiest penalty you will ever see, and still work off the pitch a hero! 2. Alan Pardew ought to be careful. Those are the kind of results that can get you sacked on Tyneside. 3. It looks [...]


Bolton Wanderers have some of the Premier League’s more unusual sponsors

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The what now? Behind the goal at the Reebok Stadium yesterday was one of the more controversial advertising hoardings you are likely to see at a Premier League game. The advert for the Nipple Shop promises "Total Lubrication Supplies". By the end of the match, Blackburn boss Big Sam Allardyce must have been wondering if [.

Joey Barton faces FA charge after inviting Fernando Torres to pleasure him

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Magpies midfielder courts trouble again Newcastle's Joey Barton hit lukewarm on the Joey Barton In Hot Water Meter® after appearing to make obscene gestures and homophobic comments towards Liverpool striker Fernando Torres. Barton, never too far away from his next disciplinary hearing, appeared to call Torres a "f**king poof".

Video: Jose Mourinho needs a check-up after headbutting dugout

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Mourinho not as hard-headed as we thought OTP has suspected for some time now that Jose Mourinho needed his head seeing to. And the moment arrived during Real Madrid's victory over Real Sociedad yesterday. An over-exciting Special One smacked his noggin on the dugout as he jumped around in his seat, despite his side being [.

Premier League weekend in numbers

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Wolves have done it, Chelsea's foreign legion, and an England statistic to remember  22 They did it. After 22 games in all competitions without one, Wolves finally kept a clean sheet yesterday 0 Although they threatened too for a while at St James', Liverpool have still not gained a single point from [.

Unexpected winners in the Manchester United crossbar challenge

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Red Devils take on the woodwork Half-a-dozen Manchester United players have taken on the crossbar challenge. Wes Brown, Darren Fletcher, John O'Shea, Rafael, Fabio and Darron Gibson each took three pot-shots at the bar. The result was surprising to say the least. In fact, if OTP had to pick the players we would expect to [.

Video: Master tactician Sam Allardyce shows how to get your message across

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How to make a smooth change in formation Correct us if we are wrong, but we think Sam Allardyce would like Blackburn to 4-4-2. Rather than get this message across as efficiently as possible, Big Sam decides to give his side their regular eyesight check-up. The Rovers gaffer then realises that not only are his [.

Barcelona break the record for most passes in a La Liga match. Maybe.

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Pass masters Barcelona set a new world record for most passes in a football match as they demolished Real Sociedad 5-0 yesterday. The free-scoring La Liga champions strung together an impressive 938 passes during the rout. Not only is that the most passes in a match since Opta records began in 2006, it also smashes [.

Top 10 conclusions Spurs v Chelsea

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1. Like a destructive part of your personality that you keep under lock and key only for it to escape at the office Christmas party, is Naughty Gomes back? A blooper for Chelsea's first and a rugby tackle on Ramires for the penalty. The resulting save will help, but Spurs fans will hope Count von [..

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 11-12 December

Off the Post at related • 0 views
1. Only in the crazy world of Heurelho Gomes can you concede a ridiculous howler, give away the clumsiest penalty you will ever see, and still work off the pitch a hero! 2. Alan Pardew ought to be careful. Those are the kind of results that can get you sacked on Tyneside. 3. It looks [...]

Bolton Wanderers have some of the Premier League’s more unusual sponsors

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The what now? Behind the goal at the Reebok Stadium yesterday was one of the more controversial advertising hoardings you are likely to see at a Premier League game. The advert for the Nipple Shop promises "Total Lubrication Supplies". By the end of the match, Blackburn boss Big Sam Allardyce must have been wondering if [.

Joey Barton faces FA charge after inviting Fernando Torres to pleasure him

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Magpies midfielder courts trouble again Newcastle's Joey Barton hit lukewarm on the Joey Barton In Hot Water Meter® after appearing to make obscene gestures and homophobic comments towards Liverpool striker Fernando Torres. Barton, never too far away from his next disciplinary hearing, appeared to call Torres a "f**king poof".

Sunday People newspaper makes Charles N’Zogbia a record breaker

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Who needs research on a Sunday morning The tagline in the Sunday People this morning reads: BLACKBURN ROVERS boss Sam Allardyce is ready to make a record-breaking £7million move for Wigan's Charles N'Zogbia. Now the quiz begins. Given that £8million is the record fee paid by Blackburn for Andy Cole (and Kevin Davies and Barry [.

Roy Hodgson tries to rub away the anger

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Getting more Dick Dastardly as every day goes by You have to feel sorry for Roy Hodgson. Whatever he seems to do in training, Liverpool defenders just love having a mindf*ck and gifting opponents a goal. Shortly after Newcastle's second yesterday, Woy finally lost the plot. Like a hamster violently washing his face, Roy scraped [.

Carlos Tevez hands written transfer request to Manchester City

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Citeh skipper wants out Manchester City captain Carlos Tevez wants to quit the club and has handed in a written transfer request, according to the News of the World. The Argentinian star is said to be fed up with life under City boss Roberto Mancini. Tevez reportedly told chief executive Garry Cook he wanted to [.

OTP’s Quiz of the week 5

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Nineties and Naughties 1. Which club did West Ham sign Javier Mascherano from? 2. Which son of an England and Arsenal goalscoring legend scored on his league debut for Man City against Middlesbrough in 2004? 3. In 2009, which League One manager celebrated a year in charge of his club having accumulated 102 points and [.

Kitman: The Godfather of Snood – Gianluca Pagliuca

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Don't call me scarf ace The humble snood has been coming in for its fair share of stick over the last few weeks. Just today, Sir Alex Ferguson has announced that his Manchester United players are banned from donning neck-warmers while they represent his side. But many managers are not putting such stringent rules in [.

Video: Arsenal legend David ‘Safehands’ Seaman sets new Guinness World Record for highest catch taken

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Ex-England keeper enters the record books var vaunit_unit_type=0; var vaunit_width=560; var vaunit_height=330; var vaunit_id=1023; Former Arsenal goalkeeper David Seaman has set a new Guinness World Record after catching a ball dropped 105metres from a crane. The retired England international teamed up with occasional rugby player Gavin Henson for the stunt at Wembley.

England under 16 coach Kenny Swain smacks his head during pitch inspection, match gets called off

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Three Lions youth gaffer takes one for team England under 16s were due to face Northern Ireland under 16s in the Victory Shield last night. The game was originally supposed to go ahead on Crusaders' artificial pitch at Seaview, which was expected to defeat the freezing conditions. But England coach Kenny Swain had a sneaking [.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football Betting Tips for 11-12 December

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soccer bet's get it on So last week made £22 profit. After serious consideration over blowing it all on two copies of Coronation Street: The Album, OTPs head was turned when it spotted two sharp metal spikes on offer that looked perfect for drilling through one's eyes. Still had change to buy a small bottle [.

Blackpool manager Ian Holloway claims Charlie Adam is a bit of a pervert

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Olly finally gets his beach training Ian Holloway has taken his Blackpool players to train on the town's beach, as promised. The unusually setting for the training session was caused by the club's lack of indoor training facilities during the freezing conditions earlier this week. The seaside session did have its unsavoury moments though.

Mark Lawrenson’s comedy column

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Lawro Lawro Lawro your boat, down our pedantry stream Credit where credit is due, Lawro surpassed himself last week, and we couldn't make more than half a column of nonsense. Maybe it was trying to impress the Prime Minister? Whatever the reason, the real Lawrenson is back this week: Aston Villa v West Brom "These [.

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson bans snoods

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Fergie: Snoods are for "powder puffs" Sir Alex Ferguson has banned his Manchester United players from wearing snoods during matches. The Scot spoke up against football's latest fashion fad by saying they were for "powder puffs". He said: "Real men don't wear things like that. Get 'em off." The Premier League's snood cognoscenti of Carlos [.

Video: Alan Pardew wrong-names Chris Hughton (or Houghton) at official unveiling as Newcastle manger

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Would you like a little insult with that injury, Chris? As if it wasn't bad enough that he has been ousted from a job that he was doing very well for the most trivial of reasons, Chris Hughton has now had to suffer the indignity of his successor getting his name wrong at the press [...]

Robinho enticed big-name players to Manchester City, pegged it

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Several top footballers trapped at Eastlands after Rob's sick joke Evil genius Robinho has revealed a practical joke by him has left some of the world's best footballers stranded at Manchester City while he lords it up at AC Milan. The Brazilian speed merchant reckons the club was only able to convince top players to [.

Prince William writes to Blackpool to praise Luke Varney

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HRH The Chief Scout Blackpool striker Luke Varney has received an unlikely royal seal of approval after receiving kind words from Prince William in a letter sent to the club. The future king penned the letter to the Seasiders after visiting Bloomfield Road to watch their win over Wolves last month. And his thank you [.

Can Mike Ashley be forgiven for Chris Hughton sacking?

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OTP goes all Devil's Advocate on you When the news came through that Chris Hughton had been relieved of his post by Newcastle United in general, and Mike Ashley in particular, it provoked an understandable reaction. "Ashley out" was the gist of the message, with many additional comments unprintable. So does the chairman deserve all [.

Video: Argentinian referee falls for the oldest trick in the book

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He fell over Oh Velez Sarsfield, you hilarious footballing pranksters! The Argentine outfit pulled the old tie your shoelace behind someone who is walking backwards routine on the ref for their match against Godoy Cruz last weekend. Referee Diego Abal was quite literally the fall guy. He was quite apologetic after trampling all over a [.

Random Slovakian offers his services to Madron FC

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A new eastern European recruit? Last week, OTP adopted Cornish outfit Madron FC as our new team after the plucky side won us over with their woeful form, including a 55-0 defeat. And it seems that OTP was not the only person to feel mighty Madron tugging on their heartstrings. News of the "worst team [.

Video: Emmanuel Eboue’s outrageous warm-up (Arsenal v Partizan Belgrade)

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Zany sub behaviour When Arsene Wenger told Arsenal substitute Emmanuel Eboue to warm-up because Kieran Gibbs was carrying an injury, you can imagine the Gunners boss was expecting his Ivorian charge to leave his seat. No need. Why would Eboue waste vital energy charging up and down the touchline when he could stretch in the [.

Alan Pardew to be unveiled as Newcastle manager at 2.30pm

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Tyneside awaits underwhelming appointment Newcastle have called a press conference for 2.30pm this afternoon where they are expected to unveil Alan Pardew as their new manager. The ex-Southampton boss has been out of work since being sacked by the Saints in August. Pardew, who has a season-and-a-half of experience of Premier League management (of which [.

A reminder of why Alan Pardew needed a new job in football, not television

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The infamous rape comment Alan Pardew is expected to be Newcastle United's new manager by the end of the day. The former Reading, West Ham and Southampton gaffer was said to be "desperate" to return to management as soon as possible. And understandably too. He didn't exactly have his media career to fall back on.

Robinho enticed big-name players to Manchester City, pegged it

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Several top footballers trapped at Eastlands after Rob's sick joke Evil genius Robinho has revealed a practical joke by him has left some of the world's best footballers stranded at Manchester City while he lords it up at AC Milan. The Brazilian speed merchant reckons the club was only able to convince top players to [.

Alan Pardew to be unveiled as Newcastle manager at 2.30pm

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Tyneside awaits underwhelming appointment Newcastle have called a press conference for 2.30pm this afternoon where they are expected to unveil Alan Pardew as their new manager. The ex-Southampton boss has been out of work since being sacked by the Saints in August. Pardew, who has a season-and-a-half of experience of Premier League management (of which [.

A reminder of why Alan Pardew needed a new job in football, not television

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The infamous rape comment Alan Pardew is expected to be Newcastle United's new manager by the end of the day. The former Reading, West Ham and Southampton gaffer was said to be "desperate" to return to management as soon as possible. And understandably too. He didn't exactly have his media career to fall back on.

Video: Emmanuel Eboue’s outrageous warm-up (Arsenal v Partizan Belgrade)

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Zany sub behaviour When Arsene Wenger told Arsenal substitute Emmanuel Eboue to warm-up because Kieran Gibbs was carrying an injury, you can imagine the Gunners boss was expecting his Ivorian charge to leave his seat. No need. Why would Eboue waste vital energy charging up and down the touchline when he could stretch in the [.

Video: Argentinian referee falls for the oldest trick in the book

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He fell over Oh Velez Sarsfield, you hilarious footballing pranksters! The Argentine outfit pulled the old tie your shoelace behind someone who is walking backwards routine on the ref for their match against Godoy Cruz last weekend. Referee Diego Abal was quite literally the fall guy. He was quite apologetic after trampling all over a [.

Random Slovakian offers his services to Madron FC

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A new eastern European recruit? Last week, OTP adopted Cornish outfit Madron FC as our new team after the plucky side won us over with their woeful form, including a 55-0 defeat. And it seems that OTP was not the only person to feel mighty Madron tugging on their heartstrings. News of the "worst team [.

Is Martin Jol’s unique brand of fair play coming to Newcastle?

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Dutchman quits Ajax, tipped for Toon With Martin Jol quitting his post as manager of Ajax and now firm favourite to take over from Chris Hughton at Newcastle, OTP decided to relive the ex-Tottenham boss's not-so-finest hour. The TV microphones picked up Jol screaming "Play, play" as two Arsenal players were injured in the build-up [.

Drunken Guti charged with drink driving after crash

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Staggering ex-Real Madrid star denies being drunk Besiktas midfielder Guti has been charged with drink driving after crashing his car. The former Real Madrid stalwart was involved in a head-on collision with a bus after drifting onto the wrong side of the road, but miraculously emerged unscathed after clipping the bus rather than hitting it [.

Video: FC Twente’s Peter Wisgerhof scores hilarious own goal against Spurs

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Veteran keeper has a 'mare Other than a brief and unsuccessful flirtation with Ajax, goalkeeper Sander Boschker has played for FC Twente for more than 21 years and clocked up over 500 appearances. The 40-year-old has not been their first-choice keeper this season, but on account of his service they handed him a Champions League [.

Did Eran Zahavi score the greatest ever Champions League goal?

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Hapoel Tel Aviv had a rotten start to the Champions League, but things keep getting better and better. Two weeks ago they won their first match in the competition, and last night got a point at the Stade Gerland against Lyon. The highlight of the game was a wonder strike by attacking midfielder Eran Zahavi.

OTP Podcast: Episode 3 – Qatar Heroes

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Your latest slice of OTP audio The Off The Post Podcast: the third-choice goalkeeper of football shows and proud holder of the "dressing room joker" label. Alas, it will never find itself in the starting XI. Simply because the talent just isn't there. This week we answer the questions that the entire footballing world has not [.

Video: What is giving Mick McCarthy the shakes?

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Wolves boss' pitchside wobbly Wolves manager Mick McCarthy did not have too many positives to take out of Saturday's 3-0 defeat at Blackburn. Indeed, even his own pre-match demeanour left a little to be desired. McCarthy seemed to have a fit of some sort as the usual pleasantries were exchanged before kick-off at Ewood Park.

Video: Manchester United players Ryan Giggs, Rio Ferdinand and Ji-Sung Park flog Smirnoff vodka

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Russia 2018 looking more fun than ever Remember, kids, if you want to captain England like Rio Ferdinand, or stay at the top for as long as Ryan Giggs, or erm look a bit pants as if you've only been bought to sell shirts to the Asian market but improve to the extent [...]

Can Mike Ashley be forgiven for Chris Hughton sacking?

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OTP goes all Devil's Advocate on you When the news came through that Chris Hughton had been relieved of his post by Newcastle United in general, and Mike Ashley in particular, it provoked an understandable reaction. "Ashley out" was the gist of the message, with many additional comments unprintable. So does the chairman deserve all [.

Video: What is giving Mick McCarthy the shakes?

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Wolves boss' pitchside wobbly Wolves manager Mick McCarthy did not have too many positives to take out of Saturday's 3-0 defeat at Blackburn. Indeed, even his own pre-match demeanour left a little to be desired. McCarthy seemed to have a fit of some sort as the usual pleasantries were exchanged before kick-off at Ewood Park.

Video: Manchester United players Ryan Giggs, Rio Ferdinand and Ji-Sung Park flog Smirnoff vodka

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Russia 2018 looking more fun than ever Remember, kids, if you want to captain England like Rio Ferdinand, or stay at the top for as long as Ryan Giggs, or erm look a bit pants as if you've only been bought to sell shirts to the Asian market but improve to the extent [...]


Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny gets twaped by Jack Wilshere

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Goalie comes out on Twitter thanks to team-mate Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny has found out the hard way that he should always logout of his Twitter account when team-mate Jack Wilshere is on the prowl. The young England star hijacked the Polish keeper's account to discuss his sexual persuasion and make bold claims about Wilshere's [.

Kitman: Arsene Wenger set to throw down the gauntlet to Arsenal kit manager Vic Akers

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Over to you, Vic Arsene Wenger likes to keep all his staff on their toes, and that includes backroom staff as well as players. That is why he is taking Arsenal kitman Vic Akers out of his comfort zone with a move for Southampton youngster Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Today's gossip columns are linking Wenger with a [.

Diego Maradona linked with Iran job: is nuclear Armageddon a foregone conclusion?

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Crazed ex-coke fiend to team-up with crazed regime Iranian president and erstwhile Roy Keane lookalike Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has suggested that Diego Maradona could be about to take over as coach of Iran's national team. The country's media ran the story after Ahmadinejad appeared to suggest that the Argentine legend was ready to take charge of [.

You’re Fired! Chris Hughton sacked as Newcastle manager by Lord Sugar

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The way Spurs managers used to get sacked Chris Hughton has been given The Apprentice treatment by talkSPORT following his sacking by Newcastle yesterday. Lord Sugar does raise some good points, but OTP would have definitely brought Mike Ashley back in the boardroom. His skills as project manager at St James' Park have to be [.

Kitman: Rory Delap’s ball pouch vest

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All new Premier League maternity wear Tomorrow is Wednesday, which means another brand-spanking new episode of the OTP Podcast. The first two episodes seem to have gone down a storm, but the lads will be grateful of any feedback. So please do leave your comments on the accompanying blogs. If you haven't listened to episode [.

Is Martin Jol’s unique brand of fair play coming to Newcastle?

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Dutchman quits Ajax, tipped for Toon With Martin Jol quitting his post as manager of Ajax and now firm favourite to take over from Chris Hughton at Newcastle, OTP decided to relive the ex-Tottenham boss's not-so-finest hour. The TV microphones picked up Jol screaming "Play, play" as two Arsenal players were injured in the build-up [.

Drunken Guti charged with drink driving after crash

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Staggering ex-Real Madrid star denies being drunk Besiktas midfielder Guti has been charged with drink driving after crashing his car. The former Real Madrid stalwart was involved in a head-on collision with a bus after drifting onto the wrong side of the road, but miraculously emerged unscathed after clipping the bus rather than hitting it [.

Video: FC Twente’s Peter Wisgerhof scores hilarious own goal against Spurs

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Veteran keeper has a 'mare Other than a brief and unsuccessful flirtation with Ajax, goalkeeper Sander Boschker has played for FC Twente for more than 21 years and clocked up over 500 appearances. The 40-year-old has not been their first-choice keeper this season, but on account of his service they handed him a Champions League [.

Did Eran Zahavi score the greatest ever Champions League goal?

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Hapoel Tel Aviv had a rotten start to the Champions League, but things keep getting better and better. Two weeks ago they won their first match in the competition, and last night got a point at the Stade Gerland against Lyon. The highlight of the game was a wonder strike by attacking midfielder Eran Zahavi.

OTP Podcast: Episode 3 – Qatar Heroes

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Your latest slice of OTP audio The Off The Post Podcast: the third-choice goalkeeper of football shows and proud holder of the "dressing room joker" label. Alas, it will never find itself in the starting XI. Simply because the talent just isn't there. This week we answer the questions that the entire footballing world has not [.

Kitman: Arsene Wenger set to throw down the gauntlet to Arsenal kit manager Vic Akers

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Over to you, Vic Arsene Wenger likes to keep all his staff on their toes, and that includes backroom staff as well as players. That is why he is taking Arsenal kitman Vic Akers out of his comfort zone with a move for Southampton youngster Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Today's gossip columns are linking Wenger with a [.

Diego Maradona linked with Iran job: is nuclear Armageddon a foregone conclusion?

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Crazed ex-coke fiend to team-up with crazed regime Iranian president and erstwhile Roy Keane lookalike Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has suggested that Diego Maradona could be about to take over as coach of Iran's national team. The country's media ran the story after Ahmadinejad appeared to suggest that the Argentine legend was ready to take charge of [.

You’re Fired! Chris Hughton sacked as Newcastle manager by Lord Sugar

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The way Spurs managers used to get sacked Chris Hughton has been given The Apprentice treatment by talkSPORT following his sacking by Newcastle yesterday. Lord Sugar does raise some good points, but OTP would have definitely brought Mike Ashley back in the boardroom. His skills as project manager at St James' Park have to be [.

Kitman: Rory Delap’s ball pouch vest

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All new Premier League maternity wear Tomorrow is Wednesday, which means another brand-spanking new episode of the OTP Podcast. The first two episodes seem to have gone down a storm, but the lads will be grateful of any feedback. So please do leave your comments on the accompanying blogs. If you haven't listened to episode [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 4-5 December

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1. With seven minutes of injury time, Carlo Ancelotti got injury time of Fergie proportions to beat Everton but only got a point. 2. Samir Nasri definitely has a future career as a Strictly Come Dancing contestant. 3. Although the best bit of the skill of the weekend was Gary Cahill's stepover for Carlos Tevez's [.

Peter Odemwingie thinks West Brom can do really well. Shhhh!

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West Brom whispers The traditional safety mark for Premier League relegation battlers has been lifted this season with things very tight at both ends of the table. Most pundits seem to think that 40 points will secure Premier League safety. West Brom forward Peter Odemwingie believes his side can easily surpass that just whisper [.

Premier League weekend in numbers

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Carlton Cole, Wolves' leaky defence and a some betting news 4 Chelsea have not won in four games, and are 16th in the form table (last six games) 4 In their next four games Chelsea play four of the five clubs in the top six with them. They lost to Manchester City, the [...]

Ex-Bolton striker Michael Ricketts threatened with Taser by police

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England one-cap wonder faces stun gun over alleged assault Police officers held a 50,000-volt Taser stun gun to the chest of former Bolton star Michael Ricketts as they arrested him for allegedly headbutting and punching a woman at his birthday celebrations. The 32-year-old, currently without a club, allegedly assaulted the woman after calling her a [.

Roy Keane tells England to stop crying over the World Cup

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Lippy Irishman mouths of again As everyone knows, Roy Keane is a mild-mannered, rational and reasonable man. What's that? he called Haaland a what? and he told Mick McCarthy to shove it up his what? Sweet Jesus. Anyway, as ever Keano as reacted to a piece of footballing news that affects him in no way, [.

Two female fans escorted out of Santos v Monterrey after flashing at cameras

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Stewards get to grips with flashers Two very friendly Mexican ladies were thrown out of Mexico Apertura playoff final after flashing to TV cameras and fellow fans. The women were taken out of the ground by the stewards after attempting to give TV viewers more than they had bargained for during the match.

Chris Hughton sacked as newcastle manager

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Newcastle United, hang your head in shame Has the world gone stark raving mad? Fair enough, his side have not won in five games, and looked unimaginative against West Brom yesterday, but this has to be the harshest sacking in the Premier League for a while. Of his 62 league games in charge, Hughton has [.

Arsenal keeper Wojciech Szczesny gets twaped by Jack Wilshere

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Goalie comes out on Twitter thanks to team-mate Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny has found out the hard way that he should always logout of his Twitter account when team-mate Jack Wilshere is on the prowl. The young England star hijacked the Polish keeper's account to discuss his sexual persuasion and make bold claims about Wilshere's [.

Video: Arsene Wenger, Sir Alex Ferguson, Harry Redknapp and Ian Holloway respond to 2018 World Cup

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talkSPORT gets spoofy The Premier League's great and good have given talkSPORT their reaction to the unusual voting patterns at the World Cup 2018 and 2022 announcements.


Rosenborg fan gets naked during live TV interview

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We're going streaking...through the quad to the gymnasium. Everyone's doing it If you have watched the video, then only questions are necessary: 1. Why does the presenter look like Jeremy Kyle 2. It is -16 degrees. What are you doing? 3. Is there even the slightest chance your Mum could be watching? 4.

OTP’s Quiz of the Week 4

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Nineties and Naughties 1. Which three Championship teams have finished in the top three in the Premier League? 2. Apart from Blackpool, which team has picked up the least points in the Premier League over all seasons? 3. Six teams that have played in the Premier League are now in League One or below.

Carlos Tevez reacts to Roberto Mancini substitution

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There have been rumours all season that Carlos Tevez is not happy with Manchester City, and indeed not happy with football altogether. And the events of yesterday at Eastlands will have done little but fan the flames. Despite his team being down to ten men with just a few minutes left, the Argentinian reacted angrily [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 4-5 December

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1. With seven minutes of injury time, Carlo Ancelotti got injury time of Fergie proportions to beat Everton but only got a point. 2. Samir Nasri definitely has a future career as a Strictly Come Dancing contestant. 3. Although the best bit of the skill of the weekend was Gary Cahill's stepover for Carlos Tevez's [.

Peter Odemwingie thinks West Brom can do really well. Shhhh!

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West Brom whispers The traditional safety mark for Premier League relegation battlers has been lifted this season with things very tight at both ends of the table. Most pundits seem to think that 40 points will secure Premier League safety. West Brom forward Peter Odemwingie believes his side can easily surpass that just whisper [.

Premier League weekend in numbers

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Carlton Cole, Wolves' leaky defence and a some betting news 4 Chelsea have not won in four games, and are 16th in the form table (last six games) 4 In their next four games Chelsea play four of the five clubs in the top six with them. They lost to Manchester City, the [...]


Ex-Bolton striker Michael Ricketts threatened with Taser by police

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England one-cap wonder faces stun gun over alleged assault Police officers held a 50,000-volt Taser stun gun to the chest of former Bolton star Michael Ricketts as they arrested him for allegedly headbutting and punching a woman at his birthday celebrations. The 32-year-old, currently without a club, allegedly assaulted the woman after calling her a [.

Roy Keane tells England to stop crying over the World Cup

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Lippy Irishman mouths of again As everyone knows, Roy Keane is a mild-mannered, rational and reasonable man. What's that? he called Haaland a what? and he told Mick McCarthy to shove it up his what? Sweet Jesus. Anyway, as ever Keano as reacted to a piece of footballing news that affects him in no way, [.

Two female fans escorted out of Santos v Monterrey after flashing at cameras

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Stewards get to grips with flashers Two very friendly Mexican ladies were thrown out of Mexico Apertura playoff final after flashing to TV cameras and fellow fans. The women were taken out of the ground by the stewards after attempting to give TV viewers more than they had bargained for during the match.

OTP’s Quiz of the Week 4

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Nineties and Naughties 1. Which three Championship teams have finished in the top three in the Premier League? 2. Apart from Blackpool, which team has picked up the least points in the Premier League over all seasons? 3. Six teams that have played in the Premier League are now in League One or below.

Carlos Tevez reacts to Roberto Mancini substitution

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There have been rumours all season that Carlos Tevez is not happy with Manchester City, and indeed not happy with football altogether. And the events of yesterday at Eastlands will have done little but fan the flames. Despite his team being down to ten men with just a few minutes left, the Argentinian reacted angrily [.

GIF It: Football snipers

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Viral football fun This very humorous little GIF is doing the viral rounds at the moment as it quite literally takes a pop at football's divers.

Things to look forward to about Qatar 2022: Glow sticks

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Rave football There are lots of conspiracy theories about the voting of the FIFA Executive Committee yesterday. But we can exclusively reveal that the actual reason behind the 2022 decision was Sepp Blatter's secret love of glow sticks. Glow stick waving is one of the most popular Qatari national past-times.

Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football Betting Tips for 4-5 December

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soccer bet's get the party started I have never liked Aaron Lennon. To be honest, up until now it was mainly due to the disgusting lines he puts in his eyebrows, but last Sunday's last minute goal cost me 65 quid. Dick. Moving onto this week, and it's a potentially sparse offering in England given [.

Video: Arsene Wenger, Sir Alex Ferguson, Harry Redknapp and Ian Holloway respond to 2018 World Cup

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talkSPORT gets spoofy The Premier League's great and good have given talkSPORT their reaction to the unusual voting patterns at the World Cup 2018 and 2022 announcements.

Rosenborg fan gets naked during live TV interview

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We're going streaking...through the quad to the gymnasium. Everyone's doing it If you have watched the video, then only questions are necessary: 1. Why does the presenter look like Jeremy Kyle 2. It is -16 degrees. What are you doing? 3. Is there even the slightest chance your Mum could be watching? 4.

Official FIFA record of vote released

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England bagged just two votes FIFA has released an official voting record for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups on its website. Unfortunately, we don't yet know who voted for what but it does confirm that England's 2018 bid crashed out in the first round of voting with just two votes. See the full records [.

Liveblog: World Cup 2018 and 2022 vote results

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Liveblog: World Cup 2018 and 2022 vote results

Top 10 conclusions 2018 and 2022 World Cup results

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The fallout from Zurich 1. Today's Wikileaks allegations that Russia is a "mafia state" obviously proved too much of lure for FIFA's executive committee. 2. Either that or Compare The Market's advertising strategy is even more brainwashing than we previously thought. 3. Air conditioning in the stadiums or not, OTP just can't see Qatar working [.

Birmingham’s Carling Cup victory over Aston Villa marred by crowd trouble

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Blues fans riot after derby win Birmingham's 2-1 victory over Aston Villa in last night's Carling Cup clash was overshadowed by violent scenes at the end of the match. After the final whistle, Blues supporters stormed the pitch and threw missiles and flares at Villa fans. Police and the FA have both launched investigations into [.

Liveblog: England 2018 World Cup bid

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England 2018 World Cup bid presentation


Video: Italian football celebrates by punching team-mate in the face

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Thanks for the assist, mate Bari's Francesco Caputo unleashed what we are going to dub the Joey Barton goal celebration by punching team-mate Emmanuel Rivas in the face. Caputo ought to have felt indebted to Rivas, who set the goal up for him. Instead he decided a forearm smash to the noggin was what the [.

Video: Argentinian keeper puts goal-kick out for a corner

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Safety first The Instituto AC Cordoba keeper inadvertently took a very cautious approach when taking this goal-kick. Normally an 'anywhere will do' approach is acceptable when clearing the ball from the penalty area. But you don't really expect to concede a corner when the clearance in question is from a goal-kick!

Football Soundalikes: Andrey Arshavin’s World Cup bid speech and a Compare The Meerkat advert

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Simples The most notable thing about Andrey Arshavin's speech on behalf of the Russia 2018 World Cup bid was that it seemed to be a blatant rip-off of one of the annoying Compare The Meerkat adverts. We've reported in the past that Arsenal players have noticed the similarities when Arshavin talks English in his thick [.

England 2018 bid trump card David Cameron doesn’t even like football

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Prime Minister not a football fan David Cameron has been hailed as one of the Three Lions, whose participation in the England 2018 World Cup bid presentation has given the English bid the edge going into the vote. But while David Beckham is one of England's greatest ever players and Prince William is the president [.

Liveblog: World Cup 2018 and 2022 vote results

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Liveblog: World Cup 2018 and 2022 vote results


England 2018 bid trump card David Cameron doesn’t even like football

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Prime Minister not a football fan David Cameron has been hailed as one of the Three Lions, whose participation in the England 2018 World Cup bid presentation has given the English bid the edge going into the vote. But while David Beckham is one of England's greatest ever players and Prince William is the president [.

Football Soundalikes: Andrey Arshavin’s World Cup bid speech and a Compare The Meerkat advert

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Simples The most notable thing about Andrey Arshavin's speech on behalf of the Russia 2018 World Cup bid was that it seemed to be a blatant rip-off of one of the annoying Compare The Meerkat adverts. We've reported in the past that Arsenal players have noticed the similarities when Arshavin talks English in his thick [.

Video: Argentinian keeper puts goal-kick out for a corner

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Safety first The Instituto AC Cordoba keeper inadvertently took a very cautious approach when taking this goal-kick. Normally an 'anywhere will do' approach is acceptable when clearing the ball from the penalty area. But you don't really expect to concede a corner when the clearance in question is from a goal-kick!

Video: Italian football celebrates by punching team-mate in the face

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Thanks for the assist, mate Bari's Francesco Caputo unleashed what we are going to dub the Joey Barton goal celebration by punching team-mate Emmanuel Rivas in the face. Caputo ought to have felt indebted to Rivas, who set the goal up for him. Instead he decided a forearm smash to the noggin was what the [.

Birmingham’s Carling Cup victory over Aston Villa marred by crowd trouble

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Blues fans riot after derby win Birmingham's 2-1 victory over Aston Villa in last night's Carling Cup clash was overshadowed by violent scenes at the end of the match. After the final whistle, Blues supporters stormed the pitch and threw missiles and flares at Villa fans. Police and the FA have both launched investigations into [.

Liveblog: England 2018 World Cup bid

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England 2018 World Cup bid presentation

Jermaine Jenas leaves a birthday snowman in Alan Hutton’s car

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Spurs snow sniggers Faced with an abundance of snow and the need to find a suitable birthday prank for team-mate Alan Hutton, Tottenham midfielder Jermaine Jenas made use of the elements to build a snowman on the driver's seat of Hutton's gas guzzler. Jenas very kindly snapped the chilly chap behind the while and posted [.

Barcelona and Real Madrid – El Clasico Fallout

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Effing Hell Clasico One thing is for certain, Barcelona are the form team in world football. The pomp and verve displayed on Monday night will not have sent shockwaves through Surope, but only because their dominance and class is utterly accepted. But less about the winners; what of the losers? What went wrong?

Mahamadou Diarra refuses to play for Real Madrid

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Mahama-dou you think im sexy? The El Classico on Monday night was a farce for Real Madrid, this much is clear. Embarassed in front of a baying Nou Camp crowd, The Special One Jose Mourinho had to sit back (bend over) and take it, presumably in a foul mood from the moment that Iniesta put [...]


Ian Holloway demands knighthoods and Royal Wedding invites for his players

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Blackpool boss hands out some right royal plaudits After his understated (bordering on sedated) start to the season, Blackpool manager Ian Holloway is getting back into his stride with his zany quotes. This is his second post on OTP in two days, so he must be doing something right. This time Olly has been suggesting [.

OTP adopts Madron FC – the worst team in Britain

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Everyone loves an underdog Remember last week we told you about Cornish village side Madron FC? Just to recap, they lost a match in the Mining Division 55-0. OTP pondered whether they were the worst side in Britain. Well, a week on and a 22-0 defeat later, Madron manager Alan Davenport is inclined to agree [.

Video: Robbie Savage dances The Sprinkler in honour of England’s cricketers

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Just weird In case you couldn't tell, Derby County's training session was snowed off today. Finding himself at a loose end, midfielder Robbie Savage filmed himself dancing The Sprinkler to Duck Sauce's irritating hit Barbra Streisand. At one point Sav even replaces Barbra Streisand with his own name.

Jermaine Jenas leaves a birthday snowman in Alan Hutton’s car

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Spurs snow sniggers Faced with an abundance of snow and the need to find a suitable birthday prank for team-mate Alan Hutton, Tottenham midfielder Jermaine Jenas made use of the elements to build a snowman on the driver's seat of Hutton's gas guzzler. Jenas very kindly snapped the chilly chap behind the while and posted [.

Barcelona and Real Madrid – El Classico Fallout

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Effing Hell Classico One thing is for certain, Barcelona are the form team in world football. The pomp and verve displayed on Monday night will not have sent shockwaves through Surope, but only because their dominance and class is utterly accepted. But less about the winners; what of the losers? What went wrong?

Video: Robbie Savage dances The Sprinkler in honour of England’s cricketers

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Just weird In case you couldn't tell, Derby County's training session was snowed off today. Finding himself at a loose end, midfielder Robbie Savage filmed himself dancing The Sprinkler to Duck Sauce's irritating hit Barbra Streisand. At one point Sav even replaces Barbra Streisand with his own name.

OTP adopts Madron FC – the worst team in Britain

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Everyone loves an underdog Remember last week we told you about Cornish village side Madron FC? Just to recap, they lost a match in the Mining Division 55-0. OTP pondered whether they were the worst side in Britain. Well, a week on and a 22-0 defeat later, Madron manager Alan Davenport is inclined to agree [.

Ian Holloway demands knighthoods and Royal Wedding invites for his players

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Blackpool boss hands out some right royal plaudits After his understated (bordering on sedated) start to the season, Blackpool manager Ian Holloway is getting back into his stride with his zany quotes. This is his second post on OTP in two days, so he must be doing something right. This time Olly has been suggesting [.

Gary Lineker confesses to pooing his pants on the pitch (with video evidence)

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MOTD host's dirty, dirty secret Gary Lineker has revealed on radio that he did a poo on the pitch during England's Italia 90 match against the Republic of Ireland. The Match of the Day presenter made his full and frank confession during an interview with Radio Five Live's Ian Payne. He had been suffering with [.

Aston Villa striker Gabriel Agbonhalor too buff for Gerard Houllier’s liking

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The Muscles From Bru...m Gabriel Agbonlahor has been told to lay off the weights by his Aston Villa manager Gerard Houllier. The Frenchman is concerned his speedy striker is getting a bit too ripped for his own good. In a bid to successfully become the anti-Martin O'Neill, Houllier has pulled the plug on Agbonlahor's bodybuilding [.

Mahamadou Diarra refuses to play for Real Madrid

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Mahama-dou you think im sexy? The El Classico on Monday night was a farce for Real Madrid, this much is clear. Embarassed in front of a baying Nou Camp crowd, The Special One Jose Mourinho had to sit back (bend over) and take it, presumably in a foul mood from the moment that Iniesta put [...]

China: a strange parallel universe in which Nicky Butt curls in free-kicks

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Newly unretired midfielder makes impact on debut After to coming out of retirement to become a marquee player for Hong Kong-based club South China, former Manchester United midfielder Nicky Butt was obviously feeling the pressure to step up to the entertainment benchmarks set by some of his rather more illustrious ex-youth team colleagues.

OTP Podcast: Episode 2 – Mad For Madron

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Tick, tick, tick... BOOM! Otp Podcast Ep.2 Mad For Madron by Off The Post on Mixcloud On this week's show, we've bagged the managerial interview everyone wanted to hear. Not a one-on-one with Fergie, but Alan Davenport manager of Madron FC (the team that got spanked 55-0 last weekend). As you'll hear, the [.

Video: Brazilian player Viola headbutts ref during five-a-side masters match

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When indoor football turns nasty Masters matchers are usually jovial affairs dominated by the most recently retired players with the less advanced beer guts. But this veterans match between Botafogo and Corinthians lost any sense of fun when 41-year-old Viola headbutted the referee. The ref gave a free-kick against Viola after a bit of jostling.

Midweek fun and games: Premier League Appearances A-Z

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Only to be read if you made it into work As I sit in Nottingham, there is four inches of snow on the ground, and it is more than enough for colleagues to act as if there is a drift that has forced them to not just remain in their homes, but in their beds [...]


Gary Lineker confesses to pooing his pants on the pitch (with video evidence)

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MOTD host's dirty, dirty secret Gary Lineker has revealed on radio that he did a poo on the pitch during England's Italia 90 match against the Republic of Ireland. The Match of the Day presenter made his full and frank confession during an interview with Radio Five Live's Ian Payne. He had been suffering with [.

Aston Villa striker Gabriel Agbonhalor too buff for Gerard Houllier’s liking

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The Muscles From Bru...m Gabriel Agbonlahor has been told to lay off the weights by his Aston Villa manager Gerard Houllier. The Frenchman is concerned his speedy striker is getting a bit too ripped for his own good. In a bid to successfully become the anti-Martin O'Neill, Houllier has pulled the plug on Agbonlahor's bodybuilding [.

China: a strange parallel universe in which Nicky Butt curls in free-kicks

Off the Post at related • 0 views
Newly unretired midfielder makes impact on debut After to coming out of retirement to become a marquee player for Hong Kong-based club South China, former Manchester United midfielder Nicky Butt was obviously feeling the pressure to step up to the entertainment benchmarks set by some of his rather more illustrious ex-youth team colleagues.

OTP Podcast: Episode 2 – Mad For Madron

Off the Post at related • 0 views
Tick, tick, tick... BOOM! Otp Podcast Ep.2 Mad For Madron by Off The Post on Mixcloud On this week's show, we've bagged the managerial interview everyone wanted to hear. Not a one-on-one with Fergie, but Alan Davenport manager of Madron FC (the team that got spanked 55-0 last weekend). As you'll hear, the [.

Video: Brazilian player Viola headbutts ref during five-a-side masters match

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When indoor football turns nasty Masters matchers are usually jovial affairs dominated by the most recently retired players with the less advanced beer guts. But this veterans match between Botafogo and Corinthians lost any sense of fun when 41-year-old Viola headbutted the referee. The ref gave a free-kick against Viola after a bit of jostling.

Midweek fun and games: Premier League Appearances A-Z

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Only to be read if you made it into work As I sit in Nottingham, there is four inches of snow on the ground, and it is more than enough for colleagues to act as if there is a drift that has forced them to not just remain in their homes, but in their beds [...]