Pulling funny faces - a sure-fire way to Champions League success Don't watch Ryan Giggs'
deflected, important, but fairly unimpressive 150th goal for Manchester United. Instead, keep your
eyes on Anderson. He positions himself in front of the keeper, takes up his best zombie pose and
pulls faces at the goalies.
FIFA president gets his kicks from a bit of simulation Sepp Blatter has confessed that he is a
diver. Normally, a headline like this on OTP would be a twisted quote or a piece of cutting edge
satire. Not this time. This is 100 per cent the truth. Blatter has admitted that he used to go
But it's only temporary! Sven Goran Eriksson is ready to follow Sol Campbell in qutting Notts
County - but only for a week. The ex-England boss is giving students who think they can do a better
job than him to take up his director of football role at Notts County. His offer is part of
Man Yoo marriage gaffe Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson left defender Jonny Evans red-faced
when he suggested it was time for the Northern Ireland international to get married. Fergie wasn't
aware that Evans' girlfriend, Kate Wathall, was sat among the assembled journalists. Evans said: "I
don't really want to talk about that here.
Darren Bent's Twitter ruined by watermarks Darren Bent's plans for a shiny new Twitter background
have been scuppered by pesky Getty Images' copyright watermark. Whether the Sunderland striker
wants to fight a lengthy legal battle over his image rights or use one of the many photos on the
internet which don't have words written all over [.
A suggestion for World Cup success Dear Mr Capello, An idea. OK, so it may be a tad premature but
if we're going to finally win another World Cup, we need some cutting edge ideas. The Argentinians
had a Hand of God in 1986, the Germans perfected the noble art of diving in 1990, the Brazilians
What if Danny Dyer was Nigerian? Machine guns, bad actors clad in Chelsea and Liverpool shirts, and
a soundtrack by 2Unlimited and Kool and the Gang. It sounds like a fantastic film, no? But I'm just
not sure this quite works. This fine effort is the work of Nollywood. *Adopts gruff American
Away from home A Burnley fan who lives near rivals Blackburn Rovers' ground has been told he will
have to make a 50-mile away trip to Ewood Park for Saturday's Lancashire derby. Jason Taylor is the
victim of tight restrictions on the movement of away fans following the violence at the recent West
Ham and Millwall game.
Mareval-ous strike French outfit Nantes took a very early lead in their clash with Nimes at the
weekend. Remi Mareval struck after just nine seconds as an awkward bounce at the end of his punt
caught both the goalkeeper and the cameraman napping. When the goal is scored, the television
coverage hasn't even bothered to zoom [.
Job vacancy: Portuguese winger, Manchester area Filling the void left by Cristiano Ronaldo's
departure was never going to be an easy task, but with a comparable upright style, similarly rapid
stepovers and a reminiscent penchant for powerful ranged shooting, this should be the season for
Nani to step up and show that he can replicate the [.
Goal celebration kicks for people with fluorescent vests Matt Taylor got a bit frisky during the
Bolton celebrations on Saturday, and found himself in the crotch of a steward. The steward in
charge of restraining the celebrations showed little sign of personal restraint. Perhaps he should
pick his partners a bit more carefully.
Tiger-themed massage mobile Hull City boss Phil Brown is looking particularly sackable following
his side's drubbing at Liverpool at the weekend. But on this evidence the permatanned one has
already got a new job in the pipeline. OTP spies spotted this Phil Brown Massage car decked out in
1. Chelsea are beatable after all. 2. And Wigan are capable of beating one of the Big Four after
all. I don't think too many people would have backed them to break their 34 game duck against Carlo
Ancelotti's unbeaten side. 3. One little slip and suddenly Manchester United are top again. You'll
have to watch them, [.
Ex-Sunderland manager's abusive text reply Dwight Yorke has revealed how his former Sunderland
manager and Manchester United team-mate Roy Keane sent him an nasty text message. Yorke texted a
message of commiserations to Keane after the latter's departure from Sunderland, but was shocked by
the reply he received.
And the award for the world's tiniest ponytail goes to... Kieran Richardson has gone from being a
bit-part Manchester United player with an afro to being a Sunderland regular with a bit-part
ponytail. We've sent a Twitter request to our good friend Darren Bent asking him to chop it off.
Silva's Spanish selections Carlos Tevez looks for silverware in The X Factor [The Spoiler] Fabio
Capello gives second chances [Mirror Football] A match made in heaven [Dirty Tackle] 'Is your team'
or 'are your team'? - the is/are debate rages on [The Offside] Arsene Wenger learnt his trade from
pubs [FourFourTwo] Fulham's official club video [The Original Winger] [.
And we use the term loosely (tackle, not Norway) Were you watching the ball? Yeah, you would have
missed Aalesund's Kenneth Dorken's wild off-the-ball assault on Johan Arneng of Odd Grenland in
that case. Calm, calculated, and comical. Cheers to Garreth Cummins of the Football Supporters'
Federation for the heads up.
The end of the campaign Remember the Manchester billboard/Photoshop wars? Well, United fans have
had the final say on it (for now, at least) after being presented with the perfect picture to do
so. Winning goalscorer (and billboard star) Little Mickey Owen took a trip past fellow protagonist
Carlos Tevez during his celebrations.
He likes our artistic skills Sunderland striker Darren Bent has been in touch with us - as you can
see above - to compliment us on our design skills. The England international was pleased with the
mocked up picture we used to illustrate his Twitter battle with boxer Tony Jeffries. The duo are
fighting it out [.
If you thought Becks was sweet enough... I don't know whether Tutankhamun ever experimented with
designer stubble, but if he did he might have looked a bit like this chocolate sculpture of David
Beckham. A Manchester chocolatier had the bright idea of creating a tasty tribute to the ex-England
A blatant attempt to con the referee If you think the Premier League is full of cheats and players
setting out to con the referee, perhaps you should divert your attention to the Swedish League.
Never mind players diving or playacting - some of the more conventional ways to cheat as far as a
footballer is concerned [.
Sunderland striker's candid social networking antics resume Darren Bent has reactivated his Twitter
account and is fighting battles on all fronts. The then Tottenham striker caused a major
controversy in July when he published Tweets criticising Spurs chairman Daniel Levy. His account
was subsequently removed, but having settled in at Sunderland he has now made his big [.
England defender latest victim of the Merseyside footballer's curse Everton defender Phil Jagielka
was held at knifepoint and forced to hand over jewellery in a raid on his Cheshire home. It is
suspected the daft robbers struck at 8pm last night because they thought the player would be on
Carling Cup duty against Hull, but they [.
Putting an end to the rumours Harry Redknapp has managed to spin a paid column out of felt the need
to set the record straight over rumours that he was about to bring Sol Campbell back to White Hart
Lane. The Tottenham boss used his column in The Sun to reassure Spurs fans that he had [...]
Five goals in his first four La Liga games for C-Ron Cristiano Ronaldo has become the first Real
Madrid player ever to score in his first four La Liga appearances - and his did it in style. The
world's most expensive player went on powerful run from inside his own half before shooting from
outside the [.
Fear of flash photography possibe reason for sudden departure Sol Campbell was happily posing for
Notts County's team photo just hours before he walked out on the club. That's if you count a
half-smile and a furrowed brow as happiness. We certainly do. The ex-England international went
through the niceties of the team photo on Tuesday before [.
Is Judas returning to, erm, Jesus? Have stranger things happened? This time I am unsure. Former
England centre half Sol Campbell caused more than a few headlines earlier this season when he
agreed to join Sven Goran Eriksson's mega-rich Notts County. But after just one rather
disappointing appearance in the 2-1 defeat at Morecambe, Campbell could [.
1. The half-time walkout Campbell's decision to leave Highbury at half-time after being substituted
during Arsenal's defeat to West Ham in 2006 remains his most bizarre decision to date. Cue lots of
murmurings about difficult periods and personal problems. 2. Joining Arsenal OK, he is free to do
whatever he wants to do but this decision hardly [.
Pepe's Portuguese picks Scientists to investigate rift in Old Trafford time continuum [NewsArse]
Top 10 controversial celebrations [FourFourTwo] Hyperbole of the day [TribalFootball] Craig
Bellamy's wall of shame [MirrorFootball] Daniel De Rossi finds an unexpected lover [YouTube]
And it was only 65 miles Non-league outfit Fleetwood Town had a disastrous away trip they travelled
to Hyde last Saturday. The trouble started on the way there when the team coach suffered a tyre
blow-out. The squad and coaching staff were left stranded on the hard shoulder of the M61.
Fortunately - and it's just about [.
Gunners manager didn't so much as smell the Thomas-Wilshere spat West Brom's task of beating the
Arsenal youth team was made considerably more difficult last night when ex-Gunner Jerome Thomas was
sent-off just before half-time. Thomas clashed with Arsenal youngster Jack Wilshere, and was
dismissed after slapping him.
Official relieves his bladder during game This footage comes from the Qatari league match between
Al Ghafarah and Al Khor. While waiting for a corner to be taken, the referee turned groundsman and
decided to hose the pitch. Aside from the fact that he didn't seem to think anyone would notice the
most disturbing thing about [.
In the eyes of some bookies, at least Troubled Blue Sq Premier League outfit Chester City have put
their points deduction worries behind them and shot to the top of the table. That's according to
the FreeBetting.net site anyway. Thanks to Matt Fairgrieve for the spot.
How Joan Laporta keeps his stars happy With Barcelona star Lionel Messi signing a new deal that
extends his contract from 2014 to 2016 and makes him the highest paid player in La Liga, cult
Catalan football comedy show Crackovia could not resist showing its version of the negotiations. I
don't think you need the lingo to [.
Respect this ref The Swiss referee who took charge of Barcelona's Champions League final victory
against Manchester United has been banned for three matches for sticking his middle finger up at
fans. Massimo Busacca was pictured making the gesture during a match between FC Baden and Young
Boys. The official claims he was provoked by "verbal abuse" [.
Making Maradona look like a saint This action comes from the Brazilian second division match
between Ceara and Parana. Parana's Wellington Silva is desperate to get on the end of a speedy
cross, so he stuck out his arm and knocked the ball into the net. To the surprise of everyone in
the stadium except referee Charles [.
Keeper close to scoring best goal by a goalie ever! Notts County (with new boy Sol Campbell making
his first start) were trailing 2-1 to Morecambe in the dying minutes of their League Two encounter
on Saturday. Goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel decided to set up camp in the Morecambe penalty area
during a sustained spell of pressure.
Motty squawks at Aaron Lennon We already noted in our Top 10 conclusions that Motty was getting a
bit camp during yesterday's Chelsea-Spurs game. And this example is no exception. With Aaron Lennon
on the counter attack, Motty adopts his best teenage boy falsetto to proclaim: "He's going all the
Video footage of the Bellamy incident After the jump you can watch the Brian Clough punch-up which
Mark Hughes compared the incident to. Hughes said: "I did not see it but the guy should not have
been on the pitch. That is not acceptable. Brian Clough clipped someone's ear. He was lauded a
Fergie invents the Kangaroo Skank All the cool kids are doing the Kangaroo Skank, folks. Well, Gary
Neville is trying but he lacks Fergie's experience. Give him time and he will be busting moves just
like his uber-cool manager. Ferguson does have a track record of dodgy pitchside dances, but we
think this might just be the [.
Time added on... and on... and on "Historically it has happened before. I was in teams here where
we always had a little bit of benefit," said Manchester City boss Mark Hughes. A tantalisingly
suggestive statement after he witnessed a thrilling Manchester derby defeat to a ninety-sixth
minute Michael Owen winner.
Newcastle defender hits out at yellow-toothed coaching staff Steven Taylor has revealed his
X-Factor goal celebration after scoring against Plymouth on Saturday was in response to suggestions
that he has had his teeth whitened like Simon Cowell. Newcastle's coaching staff have been
spreading rumours that Taylor had opted for similar dental treatment to the X-Factor judge.
1. 4-3: the internationally recognised hallmark of a Premier League corker. 2. Michael Owen has now
proved he was worth every penny of his free transfer. 3. Millions of pounds can buy you a new squad
of players, but it can't buy you control of Sir Alex's special Old Trafford timekeeping clock. I'm
kidding, of course.
Real Madrid have spent a lot of dosh The silent victims of the Florentino Perez revolution: Real
Madrid's accountants. You won't be surprised to read that Real's spending this summer has more than
doubled their debt from this time last year.
No tongues, boys Birmingham duo Garry O'Connor and Keith Fahey let their emotions get the better of
them after the former grabbed the winning goal against Hull on Saturday. We don't know what they
will get up to if they score against half-decent opposition.
Not the sort of first aid you want Universidad de Chile striker Juan Manuel Olivera was having one
of those days on Thursday. He was knocked unconscious during the game against O'Higgins after a
clash with opposition goalkeeper Jorge Rivera. The Uruguayan striker was taken to a nearby clinic
and regained consciousness during the journey.
Pitch invader is spot-kick expert Fantastic action from the Russian league this weekend. Spartak
Moscow's Alex was steadying himself and centring his Zen as he prepared to take a penalty against
Saturn. A pitch invader with little patience and a decent left peg took the opportunity to enter
the field of play and put the ball [.
Shy, reserved Welshman reveals hidden violent streak The pulsating Manchester derby is in danger of
being overshadowed by this photograph, which appears to show Manchester City striker Craig Bellamy
landing a punch on a Manchester United fan who is being restrained by stewards. Normally we would
not associate such a classless act with Bellamy, but the photo [.
Argentina boss hands over jewellery to Italian cops Diego Maradona has had his earrings seized by
Italian police determined to make him pay a â‚¬37m tax bill once piece of bling at a time. The
Argentinian legend has the unpaid taxes hanging over him from his time at Napoli between 1984 and
1991. The jewellery, worth [.
Rupert Murdoch helps address the need for a social life Let's face some facts. We are closing in on
the end of the month. Anyone who shares my monthly fiscal philosophy of â€˜two weeks living well,
two weeks scraping by' will be looking forward to a weekend on the sofa with any remaining cash
spent at [.
So say Manchester City Manchester City have drawn a line under their spending spree and will now
invest in youth development, according to executive chairman Garry Cook. The club has spent nearly
Â£200m on new players since the takeover by the Abu Dhabi United group. But Cook has warned that
City will not continue to spend at [.
Aston Villa midfielder and coach in training ground bust-up Martin O'Neill and Nigel Reo-Coker
grappled each other to the ground during a heated row at Aston Villa's training ground yesterday.
The duo allegedly got into a heated exchange over Reo-Coker being substituted during last weekend's
Blues find their first way of circumnavigating the rules Chelsea have beaten their transfer ban to
sign Croatian goalkeeper Matej Delac, according to the player's current club. A deal has been
struck which will see the 17-year-old remain with Inter Zapresic until 2011 with Chelsea paying his
wages. Delac will reportedly travel to the UK whenever possible [.
Fate favours Uefa president Michel Platini's name was already destined to be written into the
Europa League's brand spanking new history book given that he oversaw its introduction, but he made
doubly sure last night by finding the net against Fulham. Well, his namesake at least. Brazilian
striker Michel Platini Ferreira Mesquita found the perfect opportunity to [.
Champions League Division Two gets under way It is an exciting week in football. We have already
seen all the fun of the Champions League, a tournament which despite all the thrills and spills it
often produces, sometimes makes two exciting teams play out dull games, as Inter and Barca
displayed last night.
The ultimate humiliation Nutmegged in training by your own goalie. Dear, oh dear, Marco Materazzi.
Still, you have got to admire Julio Cesar's skills. Whether they will be quite so slick with the
two broken legs Materazzi has probably since inflicted remains to be seen. Spotted on 101GG
Website launched to SMS bombard French coach France fans have been given the chance to give Raymond
Domenech a piece of their mind thanks to a new website. The Un SMS Pour Domenech has been launched
following the France coach's comments after their recent draw with Serbia. Domenech said: "I just
want to thank all the people [.
No conclusions today, only questions 1. Was giving Standard Liege a one-goal headstart part of a
deal cut between Eduardo and Uefa to overturn his diving ban? 2. Why are the best games on paper
always the worst in reality? I'm looking at you, Inter and Barca. 3. If Arsenal had lost 3-2,
having led 2-0, and conceded [.
Adrian Mutu takes some time off cocaine to sniff out these links One less fat bastard for football.
Are you watching Sepp Blatter? [Chelsea FC] The boyhood teams of some the game's biggest names [The
Spoiler] Besiktas fans are no joke [The Original Winger] How Dunga finally got his team right [See
The Cup] The Mirror's own version of alternative [.
Roo's rages No one likes being subbed, particularly after a poor performance. I recall once being
hauled off with ten minutes left in a cup semi final; I'd just stuck a one-on-one wide and was not
in the best of moods. Like the Manchester United striker I chucked my boots off in disgust. This
outburst was [.
An all time great OTP can't pretend to be experts on the ins-and-outs of Hungarian football... but
we do know a great own goal when we see one! Liverpool will be hoping not to gift Debrecen too many
like this when they meet in the Champions League this evening. FC Fehervar were the very obliging
C-Ron's set-piece bullets still in working order Cristiano Ronaldo grabbed two goals as Real Madrid
beat FC Zurich 2-5 last night. Both of his goal came from free-kicks. The first was absolutely
unstoppable and the second was a horrendous goalkeeping error.
This training ground ain't big enough for two miserable Scots We already knew Andy Murray had
decent footy skills, but he called in to Everton's training ground yesterday to emphasise the
point. Murray is in Liverpool for Great Britain's Davis Cup tie against Poland. He was given a bit
of tour by David Moyes before joining the [.
Shrek strop Manchester United's Wayne Rooney was not best pleased at being hauled off during last
night's Champions League clash with Besiktas. Wazza was replaced by Michael Owen shortly after the
hour mark with the score still at 0-0. Rooney shook his head in disgust as he made his way to the
dugout before taking off [.
The actions of a remorseful man Emmanuel Adebayor was apologetic personified after his crazed
sprint to celebrate his goal for Manchester City in front of Arsenal's supporters. But he is not
going to let the terrible guilt he feels deep down inside get in the way of a bit of training
ground banter. Having found the net [.
The Champ-yaaarns do do do-do doooooo Its back. The biggest tournament in club football, the
ultimate prize: The Champions League. Although we've already had the qualifying rounds, this week
is where we really get under way with the group stages. The majestic theme music, the multi screen
coverage and, thankfully, this season no David Pleat commentary.
With Fabio Capello demanding a video games room for England's World Cup squad, OTP suggests what it
should be stocked with. 1. Joleon Lescott - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 2. Glen Johnson - Grand
Theft Toilet Seat Auto 3. Steven Gerrard - Street Fighter 4. Wayne Rooney - Shrek 5. Ashley Cole -
Cashley Bandicoot 6.
I love the smell of polyester in the morning Well, I say 'his'. It does look a tad on the small
side so perhaps he stole his little brother's Emmanuel Adebayor shirt and burnt that instead! The
man breathing the toxic fumes is Aussie Arsenal blogger Spanish Fry. He wrote: "After Emmanuel
Adebayor's 'performance' against Arsenal I [.
Your dose of Becks related hyperbole Among the first things I read yesterday morning were a few
reports of David Beckham viciously grabbing FC Dallas' David Hernandez by the neck to protect
team-mate Landon Donovan. Sounded interesting. Footage was a bit thin on the ground at the time but
it has now been tracked down by [.
Take back your boos, England fans Arsenal striker Eduardo has had his two-match ban for an alleged
dive in the Champions League qualifier against Celtic reversed. Uefa has performed a U-turn stating
that they could not prove that the Croatian international had deliberately deceived the referee
after the Gunners appealed.
Spanish club play with cuddly creature beaten until it walks on half its legs Who needs
cardiovascular workouts and five-a-side kickabouts with the gaffer when you could spend time
watching a bear wearing your club's shirt doing forward rolls around the pitch. That is the logic
applied by Spanish outfit Real Valladolid, and right now we [.
1. Emmanuel Adebayor certainly got his own back for any perceived treatment he received from the
Arsenal faithful. You'll have to ask him whether victory, scoring a goal, celebrating in front of
Arsenal's fans, making a goal-line clearance or raking Robin Van Persie's face was most rewarding.
2. After all the talk of which of the [.
Stoke's set-piece fastidiousness extends to celebrations This gem of a goal celebration comes from
Stoke's match at home to Chelsea on Saturday. Having taken the lead, the Potters were going to go
to town in case the Blues spoiled their afternoon. Abdoulaye Faye and Ricardo Fuller rightly threw
out these well choreographed moves before it was [.
Forget boring three-match bans, what's the best action to take against Emmanuel Adebayor? 1.
Ceremonial face-raking by Anders Limpar before kick-off in City's next match. 2. Twenty eye-bulging
full-pitch sprints complete with a pelting of pies at each turn. 3. Enforced Robin Van Persie quiff
hairdo for 12 months.
Filipo Inzaghi brings you freshly poached links 10 things a football newbie would say [Goal]
Barcelona sign 7-year-old [Dirty Tackle] Dimitar Berbatov's uncle is an exorcist (with special Hard
Tackle photo) [The Sun] Pepe Reina says league title is unrealistic this season [BBC] One of many
rants on Adebayor by Arsenal fans [Caught Offside]
Showing off our link-up play Glenn Hoddle on the injustice of the Hand of God. He must have sinned
in a previous life. [Channel Bee] The latest editon of the often hilarious and always disturbing
Artur Boruc's Friday Rage List [Dirty Tackle] A decent long-range strike was one of six goals
Germany's women put past England to win [.
Old Bill talk to FA about failed spread betting rip-off Police have been in contact with the FA
over Matt Le Tissier's admission in his autobiography that he took part in a failed betting scam.
OTP thought that giving the book the criminal title Taking Le Tiss was a more heinous offence, but
what do we [.
Is it worse to spit at someone or punch them in their dodgy kidney? Croatia striker Ivan Klasnic
has allegedly confessed to his new boss Gary Megson that he did spit at England skipper John Terry
- but he claims he only did it because Terry punched him in the kidney. Bolton's new signing had
One of those 'why do I put myself through this?' moments As far as the emotional rollercoaster of
being a football fan goes, Luton Town fans have had their fair share of rides over the last few
years. The Hatters' match against Oxford United on Tuesday night gave a neat little 45-second
synopsis of this.
Showing off our link-up play Age does nothing to Dennis Bergkamp's ability to chip a football
[101GG] Rio Ferdinand goes caravanning [BBC] Nemanja Vidic on how he tries not to expose himself
[Red Rants] The smell of Tevez [Studs Up] Dive into the Guardian Gallery of Eduardo [Guardian]
Controversial Chelsea youngster keeps hitting on other people's girlfriends The player at the
centre of the Chelsea tapping-up storm has been making a few illegal approaches. Chelsea's Gael
Kakuta is always attempting to chat up women with boyfriends on nights out, according to his
academy team-mate Jacob Mellis (1min 55secs).
Confused youngster tries to loan himself to different team Derby County defender Jermaine Johnson
joined up with the wrong team as he attempted to begin a loan spell at Stafford Rangers. The
19-year-old introduced himself to his new 'team-mates' from Tamworth at a motorway service station
and began the settling in process when a call to [.
Respect campaign has not yet reached Far East We already know that there are some bizarre goings-on
in Chinese football, but at least we now know they retain a sense of irony. On the day the Chinese
Super League (CSL) observed FIFA's international Fairplay Day, there were boots thrown at referees,
spitting at referees and verbal abuse [.
Twitter character limit strikes again We had no idea this position was vacant at Stoke City but an,
erm... opening must have come up. Now we just have to decide if becoming an ass is a promotion of
demotion from managing Thailand.
1. What a disappointment. Where was the nailbiting last gasp qualification securing goal/hard
fought 0-0? Two games to spare? Give us a break, Capello. 2. Only kidding! We're going to South
Africa. And what an emphatic way to make sure. 3. Composed passing play, coherent attacking play,
neat angles and positioning.
Wrighty defends his academy investments Ex-Arsenal star Ian Wright has hit back at suggestions that
he is exploiting South African children at a football academy. The head of the South African FA
accused him of "raping the country, then running away". Wright is one of a group of investors in
the Cape United academy.
The Manc Photoshop wars hit Radio Times territory Manchester United fans have once again taken to
their PCs in an attempt to burst any bubble surrounding Manchester City's unbeaten start to the
season. Thanks to OTP reader Tom Commins for the spot.
Official suspends match to talk to police The Spanish third division match between Jumilla and
Puente Tocinos last weekend was halted when the referee answered a tannoy announcement about his
car. The official waited for a break in play before heading to the touchline to talk to police.
According to reports, the ref's Audi had its windows [.
Rory Delap throws some links at you If footballers were star signs [The Sun] Liverpool join
Chelsea, Manchester United, and City in poaching accusations [The Spoiler] Adrian Mutu leaves long
trail of dirt [The Independent], appeals to Chelsea with open letter [Caught Offside] Chelsea
choose peculiar pose for team photo [MRWF] Czech player dies after scoring own goal [Dirty Tackle]
Which one of these people will be at Thomond Park, Limerick, tonight? Someone in the FAI marketing
team has been watching re-runs of Bullseye because *clears throat* this is what you could have
won... if you had bought tickets to a World Cup qualifier instead of a friendly. Republic of
Ireland fans who print off the FAI's [.
China: where away kits don't exist If Chelsea are still feeling a little hard done by over the Gael
Kakuta saga they might want to read about the plight of Chinese Super League outfit Shenzhen. The
struggling club has been handed a three-point deduction, 100,000 yuan ($14,650) and been banned
from entering the league's FairPlay Award [.
Eastlands massacre threat A teenager on trial for allegedly plotting a pipe bomb and gun massacre
at his school in Manchester was also considering an attack on Manchester City, a court has heard.
Matthew Swift, aged 18, reportedly sent the suggestion in a computer message to co-defendant Ross
Congratulations to the Blackpool Gazette for this sneaky headline A big round of applause to
whichever internet traffic savvy employee of the Blackpool Gazette managed to plant this Trojan
horse of a headline in several football news aggregation sites!
One Ashley out, one Ashley in Cheryl Cole has said she would consider a takeover bid for Newcastle
United - if she had enough money. The Girls Aloud star's Â£10 million fortune is unlikely to meet
owner Mike Ashley's valuation of the Magpies. And even allowing for hubby Ashley chipping in some
of his Â£3.
Showing off our link-up play Thierry Henry publicly declares France's players are bored with
Raymond Domenech [Mirror] Which player faked an injury to get out of Newcastle? [The Spoiler]
Slaven Bilic knows something about England that we don't. [The Guardian] Sven Eriksson attracts
And they were the prize not a forfeit! Arsenal full-back Bacary Sagna has revealed his trademark
blond braids are the result of a bet with his father. A teenage Sagna was desperate for a new look,
but papa said he could only get the peroxide plats if he scored two goals against a team of adults.
Miracles are banned at the Theatre of Dreams OTP field operative Matt Fairgrieve spotted this
beauty on a recent tour of Old Trafford. Seemingly Man Yoo feel the need to rub their disabled
supporters' faces in it a bit. Having said that, this Burnley fan will be stuffed when the Clarets
Liam Lawrence still banging on about video games Stoke City's players have come up with a 'new' way
of improving communication and team morale at the club, according to the Observer. The Potters
players spend their evenings battling it out on online computer games Gears of War and Call of
Duty. The trouble is that the Liam [.
When WAGs stop spending their partner's cash and start earning it Richard Dunne begins life at
Aston Villa Â£2 million wealthier than he might have after his wife demanded a pay-off from
Manchester City. Helen Dunne decided to play hardball with football's latest moneybags when it
became clear that he would be sold following Joleon Lescott's [.
1. Wayne Rooney would never, ever dive to win a penalty. Ever. You could have seen that coming
after his comments this week! 2. It is a shame he didn't tell a press conference that he was too
honest to score a goal for England so that might have acted as an omen too. Wazza had [...]
He would never intentionally dive, OK? "I have never intentionally tried to dive, there have been
times when I have tried to stay on my feet and tried to get the shot off rather than going down. I
have never intentionally dived. I think everyone who watches me play knows I am an honest player
Wazza's memory loss Today's papers are filled with quotes of Wayne Rooney proclaiming his honesty
as a player and saying he would never dive to win a penalty. Rooney said: "I have never
intentionally tried to dive, there have been times when I have tried to stay on my feet and tried
to get the shot off [.
Dotting the 'i' If you were wondering about the difference between David Beckham and David Bentley,
one makes faked virals about making bets to display their passing accuracy while the other does it
for real. The story to go with this video is that Galaxy forward Alan Gordon bet Becks he couldn't
put the ball through the [.
Big fine for a little man With every man and his dog moping on about Chelsea's transfer ban, OTP is
taking it upon itself to stick up for Gael Kakuta in all this. The 18-year-old's move to Stamford
Bridge from Lens is what has caused this tapping-up storm, and FIFA has come down hard on the [...]
More of the best from Honest Wayne 1. v Arsenal 2. v Blackburn 3. v Tottenham 4. v Villarreal We
can't find video evidence for this one at the present, but we trust you will take the word of a
Knight of the Realm. Sir Alex said: "He apologised to me and said he didn't mean to do that. I
Showing off our link-up play Viral bliss as US soccer kids get goal celebration coaching.
[VWJrMasters] Guess who's first in line to buy a life-size Cristiano Ronaldo poster. [Dirty Tackle]
Every seat is a good seat in these stadiums. [The Best Eleven] Uefa to charge Joey Barton for
simulating a professional footballer.
Crocked Spurs star gets new sideline Remember we told you a while back about Luka Modric and
Eduardo developing an uncanny resemblance to pop duo Hall and Oates for a new commercial? Well, the
Luka Modric ad has finally surfaced and here it is. Roll on, Eduardo.
This is how we do team photos here There was some interesting facial expressions on display as Real
Madrid got themselves into position for a team photo as they kicked off their La Liga campaign
against Deportiva La Coruna. Real stalwart Raul directs proceedings, while Lass has prime position.
No clean sheet and dirty temperament No goalkeeper likes to concede a goal, but most take a more
philosophical view of the situation than DC United's Josh Wicks. The keeper was not best pleased at
conceding the opening goal in the US Open Cup final against Seattle Sounders. As the ball nestled
in the back of the [.
Saint turns sinner Southampton legend Matt Le Tissier has confessed he hatched a plan to cheat
bookies out of Â£10,000 during his playing days. The Sky Sports pundit got his mates to place bets
on the first throw-in of a 1995 Premier League match coming within 60 seconds. Le Tissier planned
to get the ball straight from [.
Comfy footwear + fiery temperament = red card Milan captain Gennaro Gattuso was sent-off in
peculiar circumstances during their 0-4 derby defeat to Inter at the weekend. With the score still
at 0-1, Gattuso took the interesting decision to carelessly haul down Samuel Eto'o just inside the
Man Yoo striker's mobile could threaten his mobility Dimitar Berbatov has got himself on the wrong
side of a Bulgarian gangster by sending suggestive text messages to his girlfriend, according to
The Sun. The 28-year-old is reported to have received unexpected replies to his flirty messsages to
Playboy model Nikoleta Lozanova from mob boss Georgi 'The Head' [.
Eagles sorry for press release blunder Crystal Palace have issued an apology after dubbing
Championship rivals Preston a "Lancashite outfit" in a press release. The Eagles' press office were
so eager to tell the world they had signed Claude Davis from Derby County that they neglected to
check their press release for typos, and allowed an absolutely [.
... go into hiding Bayern Munich defender Christian Lell came up with an ingenious plan to avoid a
move to Stoke City. The 25-year-old went into hiding until the transfer window was safely shut and
his proposed move to the Potteries scuppered. Tony Pulis was keen to meet Bayern's Â£3 million
asking price, but the player himself [.
Today's links brought to you by Emmaneul Adebayor. MUTV make Dimitar Berbatov look like a
revelation. [101GG] E.On not to renew FA Cup sponsorship [Daily Mail] Marco Materazzi doesn't like
being the butt of a joke. [The Mirror] Ronaldo takes on Gattuso a bull. [YouTube] Football struck
by lightning while playing, has leg amputated.
I'm right behind you, buddy Following his transfer from Portsmouth, Sylvain Distin announced his
arrival in Everton with a bang warm hug and boob grope in the soaking rain to congratulate teammate
Louis Saha for opening the scoring against Wigan. Nice gesture, no doubt, but the look on Saha's
face suggests he'd rather drown [Or that [.
Fastest man in world meets orangest man in world Cristiano Ronaldo and Usain Bolt resumed their
friendly rivalry with an arm wrestling contest this week. The pair's paths continue to cross as
supposed Manchester United fan Bolt followed up a trip to Carrington in May by dropping in on Real
Madrid. C-Ron didn't look particularly impressed last [.
What for? We have no idea Like an Arsenal attacking move circa 2007, this new advert from Sky
Sports meanders around all sorts of exciting places and at the end you are still not sure of what
the point was. Rupert Murdoch and co are on the hunt for stark, raving, mad passionate fans from
Spot the flop To paraphrase the old Eric Morecambe gag, The Sun is using all the right images but
not necessarily in the right order. Someone got East European Transfer Flop 1.0 and East European
Transfer Flop 2.0 in a bit of a muddle. Thanks to OTP reader Ang Jinhao for the spot.
Bad breaks from Belgium Standard Liege's Axel Witsel dealt out the ultimate footballing humiliation
to Anderlecht's Marcin Wasilewski over the weekend by breaking his leg so badly that he
inadvertently kicked himself in the balls. This is one of those sickening leg breaks that we get
every so often in football.
Probably shouldn't have done that, son I'm still catching up with the latest goings on in the wacky
world of football after my little break, but as far as I can gather the main things I have missed
are: Arsene Wenger has kicked the bucket, Eduardo has been victimised for taking evasive action as
he battled [.