If you can't reach the ball with your overhead clearance, try the attacker's face There was brief
panic in Tuesday's Champions league match between Azerbaijani champions FK Baku and Bulgaria's
Levski Sofia. Baku striker Felipe Felix took a boot to the face as he tried to race onto a loose
ball in the Levski penalty area [.
Cottagers turn to Pilates for pre-season fitness Danny Murphy has revealed Fulham have taken up
girly exercise classes to prepare them for the Europa League. The ex-England midfielder and his
team-mates have been doing Pilates to improve their endurance for the season ahead. But Murphy
insists that their high-powered intensive brand of Pilates is a far cry [.
City fans suspect they've struck a nerve After their club successfully provoking Sir Alex Ferguson
into a rant with their billboard campaign, Manchester City fans have decided to strike while the
iron is hot. City fans were so delighted to see Fergie getting worked up that they have put
together this tribute to the Cadbury's eyebrow [.
Q. Why has it taken Anderson so long to score for United? A. Because Cristiano Ronaldo wouldn't let
him take any free-kicks. Anderson scored his first goal for Manchester United with a nice free-kick
against Boca Juniors in the Audi Cup. He had previously failed to score in more than 80 matches for
Your chance to get tickets for South Africa! OTP has a FIFA-branded Sony Ericsson W995 worth Â£500
to give away to one lucky reader. The winner of the phone will then be able to enter a special
Willy Wonka-style Golden Ticket draw which could see you win tickets to see EVERY SINGLE MATCH of a
Italian giants set for unusual looking defence Following their surprise signing of USA
international Oguchi Onyewu, AC Milan are now being linked with a transfer that would see young
Chelsea defender Michael Mancienne join him at the San Siro. Highly-rated Mancienne is being touted
as a possible makeweight in Carlo Ancelotti's plans to bring Andrea Pirlo [.
But it's at MOTD Match of the Day presenter Gary Lineker expects
pundit-turned-manager-turned-man-in-limbo Alan Shearer to be snuggling up to him on the sofa this
season. The ex-England striker says he believes the, erm, ex-England striker will be joining him on
the BBC's football coverage. He said: "Shearer will be in the studio with us unless something [.
CR9 bags his first goal for Real Cristiano Ronaldo's fledgling Real Madrid career has thus far been
noticeably lacking in the dubious penalty area tumbles and successfully converted spot-kicks that
the Spanish giants spent Â£80 million to obtain. C-Ron changed all that last night with this effort
against Ecuador's LDU de Quito.
Seeing red in more ways than one I don't recall Jose Mourinho-era Chelsea starring in any Benny
Hill films, but if they had it would probably look a lot like this. This Chinese team did not take
too kindly to having two of their players dismissed and chased the referee out of the stadium. But
... but he ought to start Yesterday, we wrote a piece taking a light-hearted dig at Phil Brown's
love of giving interviews detailing every precise detail of his transfer dealings. In particular,
we suggested that the Hull boss' propensity for telling the media which players he is interested
in, whether they have had talks with him, [.
Overpriced striker saved from boring safety talk We are not sure whether the air hostesses on
Spurs' flight to China last night got as far as informing the squad that there were exits at the
front and rear of the cabin, but if they did then the information was immediately useful to Darren
Bent. The England international's [.
Chubby Brazilian's wrist can't withstand weight of chubby Brazilian How the mighty have fallen.
Literally. Originaldo is facing five weeks on the sidelines after breaking bones in left hand
taking this disastrous free-kick for Corinthians against Palmeiras. The hefty striker might have
shed a couple of pounds since he started playing regularly again, but it seems he [.
Play to the whistle This J-League craziness comes from a match between Sagan Tosu and Mito
Hollyhock. Mito scored their second goal in a 3-1 victory after the referee tripped over. Concerned
Sagan players stopped in their tracks to stare at the sprawled official. Mito's Kim Tae-yeon did
not share their worries and instead smashed the ball [.
He's let it run between his legs (in many ways) The beauty of the increasingly frequent veterans
matches, like yesterday's Sir Bobby Robson Trophy match between England and Germany, is that you
don't have to stop play for something as insignificant as a streaker on the pitch. The naked man
kindly avoids interfering with play, shows [.
Someone should tell Hull that life in the Prem isn't a reality TV show Maybe I just have a very
unfortunate sense of timing, but every time I turn on Sky Sports News at the moment the permatanned
mug of Phil Brown is staring back at me. Enough to make you turn it off again straight [...]
Basketball star wants penalty shootout with celebrity soccer fan provoker David Beckham has been
challenged to a penalty shootout by basketball player Shaquille O'Neal. In a bid to promote his new
TV show get Beckham roused for the contest, O'Neal chose the very personal medium of Twitter to
throw down the gauntlet.
Ref gets his pockets confused AC Milan star Ronaldinho was very nearly treated to an embarrassing
pre-season red card against rivals Inter Milan after a refereeing cock-up. Busy exchanging a bit of
verbal with the goofy Brazilian, the referee got in a bit of a muddle and reached into his pocket
pocket for a yellow card.
Man Utd boss hits out at "small" Citeh Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has taken a
swipe at Manchester City over the poster campaign we told you about last week. Fergie has
criticised City for a billboard campaign featuring Carlos Tevez and the slogan 'Welcome to
Manchester', which has spawned a series of spoof follow-up [.
Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard found not guilty at Liverpool Crown Court Thank goodness justice
was done and seen to be done today at Liverpool Crown Court. Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard was
cleared of affray after admitting punching a man he thought might be about to punch him but now
admits wasn't about to punch him.
Gareth Barry and co enjoy a sing-song for an esteemed audience Apologies for the atrocious quality
of this video, but it is worth posting regardless. Manchester City took time out from their
pre-season tour to South Africa to pay a visit to a national legend. The Citizens popped round to
see Nelson Mandela and wish him [.
Who needs wit when you could have a 'y' Poor old Curtis Davies. The Aston Villa defender was caught
out being interviewed by Sky Sports News when he realised he didn't yet have a friendly
surname-related nickname for new team-mate Stewart Downing. But Curtis soon improvised and
christened the winger with a brand new moniker.
Least likely lookalike of the year OTP wouldn't have thought it was possible for Peter Crouch to
look remotely Spanish, but this works in a sort of guess-which-brother-got-the-looks way. Today's
papers reckon Liverpool are looking at bringing Crouchinho back to Anfield and are also trying to
secure Valencia's David Silva, his suntanned doppelgÃ¤nger.
The men Sven won't want to emulate 1. Dennis Wise Not just a director of football, but Executive
Director (Football). Regardless, the rat-alike failed to set the world alight with his recruitment
policy. Since he was younger, less experienced and less famous than Newcastle's then manager, Kevin
Keegan, you do have to question Mike Ashley's logic in [.
But not the one you expected Liverpool's dramatic 2005 Champions League victory is the subject of a
new short film. Fifteen Minutes That Shook The World will take a comic look at the Reds' famous
comeback against AC Milan in Istanbul. Steven Gerrard (assuming he is not behind bars), Jamie
Carragher and Dietmar Hamman are among [.
Berba feels like Fifth Beatle on Far East Tour Here come old Berbatov. He come grooving up slowly.
He got joo-joo eyeball, he one holy roller He got hair down to his knee, Got to be a joker, he just
do what he please. Sorry about that. Dimitar Berbatov has revealed being on Manchester United's
pre-season tour to the Far [.
Manchester's billboard wars escalate! Manchester City supporters have made the latest move in a
poster battle with United fans. A spoof email featuring the slogan 'Welcome to Stretford' and a
hobbling Michael Owen has been doing the email rounds. City started the war with a provocative
'Welcome to Manchester' advertisement featuring Carlos Tevez shortly after capturing the [.
"Not now, Ulrika!" Sven Goran Eriksson's big English football comeback speech lasting approximately
two sentences before he was cut off by his very dull mobile ringtone. The Swede said: "Hello
everybody! It's great to come back to England..." But the ex-Mexico manager was stopped in his
tracks by his noisy pocket communicator.
Nando and Riera enjoy a Lady and The Tramp moment Driven to distraction by watching his team-mates
play out 50 minutes of goalless football against Rapid Vienna, Fernando Torres decides to create
his own entertainment by shovelling as much of Albert Riera's packed lunch into his mouth has
possible. Meanwhile the winger scavenges around Torres' slobbery [.
Football Association in sense of humour shocker! The FA has produced a spoof of a Nike viral to
encourage more people to take up 11-a-side football. They reckon the full size version of the
beautiful game is facing dwindling numbers at grassroots level (presumably because it is easier to
haul your beer gut around a five-a-side [.
Beware ladies of Nottingham: Svennis is coming OTP did give you the heads-up on this one yesterday,
but I don't think we expected the rumour to become reality. And yet Sven Goran Eriksson has been
appointed at Notts County in a director of football post. Long-term ally Tord Grip also joins the
Liverpool skipper might struggle to explain this one... As you will have heard, Steven Gerrard is
at Liverpool Crown Court this week defending himself against a charge of affray. The Liverpool
captain was arrested last December following an incident as he celebrated his side's victory over
Newcastle with friends.
Sven to takeover at Notts County. Really? What? You thought Newcastle had made a declaration of
intent of some kind? Don't be so silly. It is actually Notts County who are rumoured to be chasing
after Sven like a dirty old man chasing after... oh... bad analogy. Is there an ounce of truth in
this story, originally [.
Red Devils' new striker goes into denial over move New Manchester United signing Mame Biram Diouf
thought his transfer to Old Trafford was a wind-up. The Senegalese young striker will join from
Norwegian outfit Molde in January in a Â£2 million deal. But the 21-year-old thought the deal was
too good to be true.
Malaysian fan should have left early to beat the traffic A Manchester United fan was allegedly
stabbed by his wife after returning home late from his side's victory against a Malaysian XI on
Saturday. The Malaysian man was presumably in high spirits having witnessed Michael Owen's first
goal for the club, but his missus was less [.
Wonder no more Cristiano Ronaldo made his Real Madrid debut against Shamrock Rovers last night. But
the Â£80 million man put in a rather disappointed 45-minute shift and was eclipsed by fellow
debutant Karim Benzema, who grabbed the winning goal. Ronaldo admitted in a post-match interview
that he was no 100 per cent fit but said he [.
Two in two for Little Mickey At least if his Old Trafford move doesn't work it we know that Michael
Owen is still capable of taking the Malaysian league by storm. The 29-year-old marked his second
Manchester United appearance with his second Manchester United goal. Like his debut goal, it is
difficult to tell from this scrappy [.
Becks picks fight with Riot Squad David Beckham had a half-time confrontation with LA Galaxy fans
in his first home match since returning from his loan spell at AC Milan. Conveniently the match was
against AC Milan, just to focus the anger of LA Galaxy's lamely named Riot Squad hardcore support.
Becks version of events, which do [.
Spanish club in football equivalent of bullying Villarreal got their pre-season under way in style
or in bad taste depending on you viewpoint. The La Liga side thrashed amateur side Navata 27-0 in a
match that has caused outrage among some online fans. The Yellow Submarine strikers helped
themselves to a hatful, with Jonathan Pereira grabbing seven [.
German news agency ponders moon football It is football's silly season and one news agency has
filled the gaping holes in its editorial content by investigating the possibility of football being
played on the moon. Deutsche Welle's findings suggest Stoke and Bolton could be just a short
spaceship journey from football domination.
City signing docked wages for broken furniture and dog damage Carlos Tevez had his last wage packet
from Manchester United docked after club officials found Â£30,000 worth of damage to the house they
rented for him. The Sun reports that Manchester City's new signing had money taken from his pay to
cover the cost of the [.
Take that, Malaysia XI! No, it probably wasn't the most difficult finish of his career but
nonetheless Michael Owen has a 100 per cent strike-rate for Manchester United. And his brochure was
right: he is young when the comparative measure is Ryan Giggs!
Oasis guitarist pours cold water on most of Citeh's transfer activity John Terry has been told he
is not wanted at Manchester City by the club's most vocal celebrity fan. Noel Gallagher revealed he
had disliked the England captain and wouldn't want to see him at Eastlands. "I don't like John
Terry and I never have.
Premier League's newest star is a "numpty" This clip is the work of cult Scottish football sketch
show Only An Excuse. Their version of BBC pundit Chick Young is not too generous in his praise for
Wolves' new signing James McCarthy.
Real Madrid star bases his wardrobe on his mum and sisters' outfits Cristiano Ronaldo has finally
confessed that he loves to dress like a girl. The Portuguese winger revealed during a press
conference in Ireland that most of his style tips have been picked up from his mum and sisters. He
said: "I'm always trying to copy [.
Citeh players can now count-down injury time in style Is there a better job than one that not only
pays you ridiculously high wages for doing very little (and as far as players such as Benjani and
Elano, simply seating on your rear-end) but also pays you a bonus for an unsuccessful year, filled
with huge [.
Citeh players can now count-down injury time in style Is there a better job than one that not only
pays you ridiculously high wages for doing very little (and as far as players such as Benjani and
Elano, simply seating on your rear-end) but also pays you a bonus for an unsuccessful year, filled
with huge [.
"Are you sure these are all yours, sir?" Alternative caption: Michael Owen is forced to ditch his
collection of pet passports after learning his horses will not be allowed to accompany him on
Manchester United's tour of Asia. Got a better caption? Let us know below.
Kit mishap from Japan The notion that all footballers are thick might be a nasty stereotype, but
incidents like this really don't help. Kashima Antlers' Brazilian striker Marquinhos is preparing
for the kick-off with Shinzo Koroki when he notices that his team-mate's shorts have all sorts of
nice accessories like ties, a logo and a squad [.
Two superstars, three stripes, three videos var sid=315;var vid=20106; Adidas' latest campaign
rolls out their big guns old and new. Zinedine Zidane and Lionel Messi are the stars of this
three-video viral campaign. See the other two after the jump. var sid=315;var vid=20108; var
Argentinian makes first step on the Cheshire property ladder Who said the property market is in
meltdown? The happy chap pictured above is a first-time buyer about to get himself onto the
property ladder by purchasing a modest Â£5 million mansion. Carlos Tevez's potential new pad has
one careless former owner: former team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo.
It's good to know for future reference that is possible Manchester City youngster Micah Richards is
on the road to recovery after picking up swine flu, according to his official website. The England
international contracted this season's must-have illness while on holiday in Cyprus. But
Michael Jackson finds an unlikely successor in Spurs centre-back The summer is well under way and
with many Brits heading abroad for the party season it seems so too are our football superstars.
Jonathan Woodgate owns a lavish crib on the infamous club island of Ibiza and he's spent thousands
of pounds blinging up his holiday [.
Thierry Hen-ry? This classic clip comes from a 1986 European Cup Winners' Cup clash between Dynamo
Kiev and Atletico Madrid. The match is briefly held up early in the second half when a chicken
decides to launch a pitch invasion. Ah, the days when you could take your chicken along to the
match... Anyhow, enjoys the bizarre [.
Newcastle continue to make life difficult for themselves For most clubs, pre-season is now well
under way and serious preparation beginning for the season ahead. Newcastle, on the other hand, are
still owned by someone who doesn't want to own the club, have a squad of overpaid players who don't
want to stay at the club [.
Roo reveals his extremely well hidden religious side Wayne Rooney claims he would have become a
priest if he hadn't have made the grade as a footballer. The Manchester United star said his lack
of academic prowess would probably have limited his career options, but his love of religious
studies lessons might have pushed him towards [.
Nigeria cracks down on over-age players The Nigeria Football Federation has announced it will be
checking out its players bones to catch cheats. Nope, it's not dubious dressing room shower
activities but MRI scans to find over-age players trying to gatecrash the Under-17 World Cup.
Nigeria's youth squads have long faced accusations of fielding ineligible players in [.
Either that or Man City have signed a blood-free Terry Butcher Carlos Tevez arrived at Eastlands
today to be unveiled as Manchester City's new signing. And the Argentinean striker was sporting a
rather fetching piece of cranial knitwear. OTP suspects Carlitos doesn't get back home too often
and Grandma Tevez might have slightly underestimated the amount [.
Michael Owen bags iconic shirt 1. Manchester United fans are not very happy. Zae at Vital Football
sums up the shell-shocked response of most United fans. He wrote: "Some might say that we're making
too much fuss over a shirt number but for us it does have a special resonance and it is simply not
Think this one has to go down as a goalkeeping error Sometimes goals are scored from 40 yards and
the keeper can do absolutely nothing about them. This is not one of those instances. The Odd
Grenland keeper isn't victim to a top corner thunderbolt, nor an awkward bounce. He simply stands
rooted to the spot [.
USA women's keeper Hope Solo, that's who She might sound like a character from the latest sequel to
Star Wars, but Hope Solo is actually a goalkeeper for the very successful USA women's team. So
successful is the women's team, in fact, that Nintendo have recognised Solo's potential to sell
video games to seven-year-old girls.
When football club names become rude Sky Sports News might consider scrapping stories on clubs
whose name includes the word County after their latest mishap. It seems reading Stockport County
from an autocue is a more difficult task than it might first appear. Presenter Simon Thomas will
probably just be pleased he didn't let this one [.
A new occupational hazard for the modern footballer Footballers from three Premier League clubs
face a nerve-wracking wait for HIV test results after a woman they had all slept with discovered
she had contracted the infection. Six players have allegedly taken the tests after sleeping with
the groupie (reportedly not at the same time, although you [.
After the bad 'uns, now the good 'uns 1. Arsenal third They might have nicked the design from Roger
Federer, but the Gunners' new third kit is a classy number. More than a nod to the Eighties (as
well as to the tennis court) it is versatile as a replica but will also look great on the [...]
Tackling from the technical area OTP has heard of managers 'kicking every ball' from the dugout,
but this incident takes the mickey a bit. Mexico coach Javier Aguirre was sent-off during
yesterday's draw with Panama after kicking out at Ricardo Phillips as he made a run down the wing.
"I would like to apologize in order of [.
Real Madrid keeper shows his move (singular) to some African kids Iker Casillas has been visting
children in Mali to pass on some of his knowledge to them. And thanks to his efforts the youngsters
are now well equipped for standing around looking awkward in European nightclubs. They still can't
take penalties, but their dancing has [.
Winger shuns 'big teams' to slum it in Spain You heard it here first that Jermaine Pennant was
about to sign for a Spanish club. We guessed at Espanyol, but it turns out that newly-promoted Real
Zaragoza was his final destination after flying in to Barcelona. The ex-Liverpool man passed a
medical at his new club yesterday [.
As if managers weren't stressed enough, they now have phone tapping to deal with! Sir Alex Ferguson
and Alan Shearer are among the alleged victims of the News of the World phone tapping scandal. The
Manchester United boss and the in-limbo possible future/former Newcastle manager are both said to
have left messages on the hacked phone [.
Mark Hughes loves to talk about his sideboard It has been so long since Manchester City won any
silverware that the club seemingly no longer has a trophy cabinet, let alone a trophy room. That is
if manager Mark Hughes' comments are anything to go by. Sparky appears to be obsessed with picking
up a trophy to [.
ITV soap loses its Wednesday night primetime slot If any indication of the power of football was
needed, surely this is it. ITV bosses are moving long-running soap Coronation Street from its
traditional Wednesday evening 7.30pm slot to ensure that they can bring you coverage of Steve
Rider's cardboard hairdo whenever they like.
Former Kop star makes hush-hush visit to Barcelona Ex-Liverpool winger Jermaine Pennant could be on
his way to the Spanish league after making a secret trip to Barcelona. OTP spies spotted the
26-year-old on an Easyjet flight from Liverpool to Barcelona yesterday evening. But Pennant was
reluctant to talk about his trip as he arrived in Spain.
Arseblog does its best to shift Ade Emmanuel Adebayor is following in the footsteps of Michael Owen
and his ultimately successful advertising brochure with his own promotional leaflet. The
tongue-in-cheek document has been produced by Arseblog. You can click here to view the other pages.
Another hilarous celebration from Scandinavia During the recent match between Bryne and Stavanger,
Bryne's Karl Morten HÃ¥land's involvement in the team's goal celebration was abruptly cut short
when he was poked in the eye by a leaping Christian Gauseth. Equally funny as the incident itself
was Gaulseth's post-match comments.
Ironic Real advertising campaign Fans of Arjen Robben's shiny cranium, this new Adidas viral is a
real treat for you. As you have probably noticed, the big Adidas-supplied teams are putting out
these 12th man campaigns, supposedly alluding to the fans. The irony is that after Real Madrid's
big-name attacking signings, Robben himself is not likely to [.
The nastiest new shirt designs 1. Bolton home Wanderers have been churning out some pretty awful
home kits in recent years, and this is the worst of a bad bunch in OTP's opinion. As we already
mentioned, it looks like Bolton will be fulfilling the Premier League's barcode quote in
A tennis-themed Nike-a-like A pretty close match, we are sure you will agree. The only difference
being that Roger Federer wore his for his biggest game of the season, whereas Arsenal will wear
this shirt when they play away from home against a team whose home shirt is red and navy (ie not
too often over [.
More Cristiano Ronaldo presentation footage Cristiano Ronaldo was forced to flee, or at least break
into the Peter Kay dad run, after Real Madrid fans decided they would like to give him a personal
welcome to the club with their hands. There was chairs flying aplenty as pitch invaders took on the
security team in an [.
That hardly seems fair If you were wondering why Sweden U21 striker Marcus Berg was running rings
around most defenders he came up against at the recent European Under 21 Championships it was
because he was about four years older than most of the other players in the tournament. That's
according to the BBC gossip column, [.
Oh! He's just managed to Photoshop it over the bar! We are a bit late to the party on this one
having being dragged away from OTP Towers yesterday, but our friends at Twofootedtackle have dug up
this gem. Nike's crack squad of marketeers and Photoshoppers decided this image of Manuel Almunia
hanging in mid-air was [.
Cristiano Ronaldo shows off his ball skills at presentation ceremony Cristiano Ronaldo was unveiled
at the Santiago Bernabeu last night and showed that, just like English, he can only speak Spanish
if he says all the letters the Portoogisch way, that he can't do keepy-uppies and that he enjoys
passionate moments with young boys.
Fergie shows first signs of C-Ron withdrawal symptoms It looks like Sir Alex Ferguson thinks he has
found the perfect replacement for Cristiano Ronaldo. Some one with a profile nearly as high as
Ronaldo's, better looks than Ronaldo, and seemingly the same fashion sense as Ronaldo. He couldn't
quite bring himself to go as far as [.
Baby Ronaldo's registration with his local FA Real Madrid might have just secured Cristiano
Ronaldo's registration forms, but once upon a time they were the property of Andorinha of C-Ron's
native Madeira. The handsome young chap sporting a fine Wafro and looking a bit like a young
Napoleon Dynamite is the world's most expensive footballer when [.
Set-piece fail Here's a funny clip from the recent European Under 21 Championships that we missed.
Mesut Ã–zil might have been England's tormentor in the final, but against Spain he was only
tormenting himself. Ã–zil and team-mate Marko Marin could not conjure up a free-kick between them.
They found at a bit too late that they [.
A good look at football's most expensive thumb Apologies for the lack of posts on OTP today: we've
had other business to attend to. But here is Cristiano Ronaldo passing his medical at Real Madrid
and proudly parading his thumb afterwards. A crowd of Spanish photographers desperately try to get
the thumb pointing in their direction.
File under 'things you never thought you'd see' It still feels like a Photoshop somehow. Perhaps an
entry into The Guardian's Gallery on the theme of Michael Owen's dreams. But no, it's true: Sir
Alex Ferguson has snapped up the ex-Newcastle man before he had even had chance to sign-on this
week. United were clearly attracted to [.
As Darius Vassell mulls over a move to Turkey, we look at those who have blazed the trail for him.
1. Colin Kazim Richards CKR - the Coca Cola Kid - not only made himself at home in Turkey, he
bagged a Champions League goal for Fenerbahce against Chelsea and broke into the Turkish national
team. He [.
Footage of the window-kicking incident Remember we told you Cristiano Ronaldo had smashed a car
window over a 17-year-old who was filming him? Well, this is supposedly the footage. The alleged
Ronaldo, dressed up in a crisp white shirt as he headed to, erm, and Elton John concert, is seen
racing towards the camera like a lunatic.
Canadian defender couldn't think of anyone to tell he was leaving Newcastle found out defender
David Edgar has left after eight years at the club via the television. The 22-year-old said he felt
forced to leave the club and didn't even know who to contact to say he was departing for
Scandinavian defender imitates Zlat Lars Ovrebo (not sure if he is related to the death threat ref)
of Norwegian outfit Mosse scored this beautiful own goal in a recent match against HamKam. It is
reminiscent of goals scored at the right end of the pitch by Zlatan Ibrahimovic. We are not sure
whether this guy bottles it [.
Darius Vassell is more than a player Kaka might have attracted 50,000 to the Bernabeu, but Darius
Vassell brought in a respectable 3,000 punters to urge him to sign for Turkish outfit Ankaragucu.
The fans came armed with banners, placards and a level of vocal support more befitting the Second
Coming than the arrival of a [.
New Real Madrid signing smashes glass over 17-year-old girl Cristiano Ronaldo kicked in a car
window as he hit out at a teenage girl who was allegedly filming him outside his home in Lisbon.
Sara Pardal, aged 17, was covered in shards of glass and received hospital treatment for her
alleged injuries, reports in the Portuguese [.
Man Yoo squad work on their lingo skils Manchester United players have gone back to the classroom
to work on their Indonesian conversation skills. In a new advert produced ahead of their annual
money-spinning trip to the Far East, a handful of the squad are shown being taught some useful
phrases for the trip.
The recession claims another victim Unemployment figures are up by at least one person today: that
scrounging layabout Michael Owen finds himself without work. Jobseekers in North Wales whose local
Job Centre is within easy walking distance of a helipad could find themselves in esteemed company
this morning since Little Mickey's Newcastle contract has expired.
The year-round nature of football and the assortment of betting options available makes it a
non-stop thrilling exercise that should not be missed. But many sports punters are intimidated by
the many different teams, soccer leagues and competitions available. They simply do not know where
or how to start.
"Dude, we're trying to pray." Norwegian football witnessed one of the most distasteful celebrations
of all time when Sandefjord's Espen Nystuen dry humped team-mates Admir Rascic and team-mate Fenan
Salcinovicran as they bowed down in prayer following Rascic's goal against StrÃ¸msgodset.
Presumably inspired by Egypt's recent bum-sniffing celebration, while the two Muslim players were
prostrating to [.
Sitcom actor rolls out more Magpies jibes Gavin and Stacey actor Mathew Horne is fast becoming a
one-stop-shop for anti-Newcastle jokes. His Twitter account has once again featured a gag at the
expense of the Toon. He tweeted: "I always vowed if I won the lottery, I'd buy Newcastle United
Welcome to the Premier League, Steven Insomnia N'zonzi The Premier League Vowel Deficiency Society
has a new member after Blackburn Rovers snapped up French youngster Steven N'zonzi for an
undisclosed fee. The 20-year-old joins from relegated Ligue 2 side Amiens. N'zonzi will be close to
fellow Frenchman Charles N'zogbia, who plays for Lancashire rivals Wigan.
Tennis star does keepy uppies Andy Murray will be attempting to break into the last four at
Wimbledon later today, but on this showing he could break into the squads of the Big Four in the
Premier League. The Scot is quizzed by OTP Twitter follower Tim Lovejoy about life on the tennis
circuit before moving [.