Arsenal youngster leaves C-Ron on his backside Getting nutmegged is never a pleasant experience for
a footballer. But when the nutmeg also leaves you flat on your backside, that has got to be worse.
And when you are usually the one usually humiliating fellow pros with your megs it is probably even
harder to take.
Shrimps make good grub If the Premier League title was decided on the quality of the pies on offer
at half time then Morecambe would be top of the table, according to one devoted fan who has
travelled around grounds sampling the food on offer. Dedicated football fan and pie lover Tom
Dickinson has spent a whopping [.
Tabloid hacks confused by complicated Jonas Gutierrez Newcastle spent a day in court on Tuesday
after which they were told they could keep hold of Jonas Gutierrez, but only after they had paid a
combined total of Â£5.2 million to two of his former clubs. The prospect of not one, but two former
clubs baffled the [.
Giving a new meaning to semi-final It seems nothing gets a Danish referee going quite like a full
house at Old Trafford and the Champions League theme tune. Unfortunately, Claus Bo Larsen got a bit
too excited before kick-off last night (although the assistant on the left seems to be loving it).
Perhaps we are being a [.
Ladies, here's C-Ron's less attractive toddler side To be fair "when he didn't get a free-kick
against Arsenal" doesn't really narrow it down. The referee wasn't going to be duped by Cristiano's
diving antics and, indeed, wasn't for giving a free-kick on the occasions that he probably had been
Putting your skull on the line Forget our conclusion that Sir Alex Ferguson is going mellow in his
old age. It seems Fergie has introduced some extreme training tactics of which even the Uzbekistan
FA would be proud. When we saw Carlos Tevez perfect the head-first slide tackle against Aston
Villa, we understandably thought he was a [.
The moment King Eric nearly became an owl Some things we love about this video: 1. The fact that a
top-flight English club seems to be training in a school sports hall. 2. Reminiscing about a time
when a squad containing a Swede and an American was cosmopolitan. 3. Thinking about Trevor Francis
singing along at a Simply Red [.
A tough disciplinarian with a feminine side Premier League managers' habits of backing their
players to the hilt or at least turning a blind eye to their misdemeanours can wear a little thin
at times. Nobody could accuse this Romanian coach of being partisan. He is obviously disappointed
to see one of his substitutes getting involved [.
1. Congratulations to any crazy people who put money on John O'Shea to score the first goal. An
unlikely hero to say the least. 2. Arsene Wenger really missed a trick playing Emmanuel Adebayor up
front alone. It was too much to ask for him to take on Ferdinand and Vidic alone. A better tactic
The cheapest bribe ever? Chicago Fire player Cuauhtemoc Blanco is under investigation by the United
States Soccer Federation after allegedly presenting his match shirt from Saturday's match with
Columbus Crew to the referee. Witnesses claim they saw Blanco - he of the Blanco Bounce (see video
above) - approach the referee's changing room with his shirt in [.
Arsenal decide striker probably isn't contagious Arsenal youngster Carlos Vela has travelled with
the squad to face Manchester United this evening - despite being in quarantine earlier this week.
Fearing their Mexican star could unleash the deadly virus on their squad, the Gunners ordered Vela
to stay at home on Monday.
More Socceroo hatred After Monday's Bahrain video and last month's effort from Uzbekistan, Japan
are the latest of Australia's World Cup qualification opponents to turn to alternative training
methods in their quest to see off the mighty Socceroos. At first we suspected Nike were behind
this, but the final shot in this video is a bit of [.
1. A monobrowed right-footer is capable of subduing the best right winger/player in the world. 2.
After Newcastle versus Portsmouth and now this, I think I have forgotten what a goal looks like.
Let's hope Manchester United and/or Arsenal are in clinical mood tomorrow. 3. Guus Hiddink's
mystery daydream goalscoring hero must have been Juliano Belletti.
Michel's unusual claim to fame Despite the fact that I witnessed them coming within one crap
penalty of beating Real Madrid last week, Getafe have parted company with manager Victor MuÃ±oz.
And they have been quick in bringing in a replacement in the shape of former Real player Michel.
The ex-Spanish international provided one very OTP [.
OTP big giveaway Chelsea have been putting their fans through their paces to prove they are True
Blue Through And Through. The likes of Tim Lovejoy of Gus Poyet were put to the test by being
tasked with singing Blue Is The Colour. You don't need to strain your voice though, because ahead
of tonight's Champions League [.
JJ faces referee rap Spurs midfielder Jermaine Jenas can expect a letter postmarked Soho Square
through his door in the next couple of days. The Football Association has confirmed they have
written to Jenas asking him to explain his comments about Howard Webb following his side's 5-2
defeat to Manchester United at the weekend.
Don't worry Chelsea fans - they won't be gone for long Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard has agreed
to pull on the shirt of West Ham United once again - and he is taking team-mate John Terry with
him. The ex-Hammer, now an Upton Park hate figure, will wear the claret and blue in a testimonial
Bringing Robinho's early season look to white folk Portsmouth midfielder Sean Davis showed he was
at the cutting edge of fashion by turning up to face Newcastle last night sporting a hairstyle
ditched by Robinho about six months ago. And it wasn't even a good hairstyle which had been ditched
The man to moniter Messi Everyone's favourite monobrowed comedy right-back will become a makeshift
monobrowed comedy left-back tonight when Chelsea take on Barcelona in the Champions League
semi-final. Jose Bosingwa will swap flanks to replace the suspended Ashley Cole, and will be
charged with thwarting Lionel Messi.
Even Scott Carson's never managed one like this Link: You know when the ball rolls back to the
opposition keeper and he stands with at his feet? And your forward eventually goes to the bother of
closing him down, and the keeper then picks the ball up? Next time you are going through this
monotony, here [.
4Ã—4 reactions This Nike (?) viral follows hot on the heels of the crazy Uzbekistan training video
we brought you. And it follows the similar narrative of Australia's World Cup qualification
opponents going to great lengths in their training to keep the Socceroos at bay. In what could
prove to be an effective training technique for Premier [.
Chelsea boss is a daydream believer Cheer up, Guus Hiddink. It seems the Chelsea coach can't wait
for the Blues' clash with Barcelona tomorrow - so much so he has already imagined the match twice.
If he wasn't so successful, you would think he was a total nutter, but Hiddink says he always plays
games out in [.
Just be grateful you didn't have to pay Here is Little Mickey Owen dressed up in his finest pilot's
gear to show you around Dubai from the air. That is assuming his wooden introduction hasn't put you
to sleep before the chopper is even off the ground. After that intro most of the video is worth
The benefits of putting your foot in Bundesliga table-proppers Karlsruher can no longer moan that
they have no luck this season. That is after Sebastian Langkamp's bizarre winning goal against
Bayer Leverkusen at the weekend. Langkamp slid into a challenge in midfield and made decent contact
with the ball.
1. Shocking decision from Howard Webb. There is no way that was a penalty and Spurs can feel hard
done by. Heurelho Gomes clearly got the ball and it can go on the long list of dubious penalties
awarded to Manchester United at Old Trafford. 2. Having said that, the Liverpool fans moaning that
Howard Webb [.
Ryan Giggs and Ashley Young walk away with trophies Given that I had already had a lengthy rant on
this subject, I was going to try and let the PFA Awards go without too much comment. But the sight
of Ryan Giggs and Ashley Young holding trophies has proven too much. As I have previously said,
Striking sensation effectively handed curfew! Federico Macheda's burgeoning social life has been
dealt a severe blow by Sir Alex Ferguson. The Manchester United boss has reportedly telephoned
Manchester's nightclubs and casinos to advise them that the Italian striker will not be 18 until
August. The funniest part of the story is that Macheda is said to [.
Wazza dreamed a dream in time gone by One is a precocious talent with unfortunate hair, a weight
problem and slight mental health issues, the other is Susan Boyle. Special 1 TV's Wayne Rooney has
been flexing his vocal cords to give this special tribute to Britain's Got Talent singing sensation
Portuguese star's rude shirt gesture Cristiano Ronaldo risked the wrath of Manchester United
supporters and Sir Alex Ferguson after taking off his shirt off and throwing it into the faces of
onlooking United fans. The World Player of the Year showed he has had enough of pulling on that red
shirt week-in, week-out and that he [.
In the wake of Southampton's point deduction and relegation this week, OTP looks at the English
clubs which have been left looking like a bunch of bankers. 1. Leeds United Peter Ridsdale led
Leeds to football's archetypal financial meltdown. While they only cost small change compared to
the millions spent on managerial compensation and outlandish wages, Ridsdale's [.
Penalty area assault, part dos Hull City's Caleb Folan was sent-off in a pretty decisive moment in
their defeat to Liverpool today. He saw his marching orders for a crazy penalty area attack on
Martin Skrtel. It's just like watching Real Madrid! Spotted on 101GG [...]
Wacko invites Man Utd star for VIP treatment Musical superstar and all round weirdo Michael Jackson
has asked Rio Ferdinand to go backstage at one of his sell-out O2 Arena shows later this year.
Jacko himself phoned Rio's mobile to extend the invitation Rio told The Sun: "Michael was my
This DJ picked the wrong guy on the wrong day Elen Rives' remarks about her split from Frank
Lampard and her current accommodation situation caused a bit of stir earlier this week. So much
show that LBC radio presenter James O'Brien decided to host a phone-in on the subject in which he
"said that men who [.
Spurs for SNES Yes, Spurs primate-faced Welshman is a a bit of a ringer for video game star Donkey
Kong. The big-eared left-back could probably learn a few defensive tips from the Ninetendo hero
too. Thanks to OTP reader Usama for the spot. Share on Facebook
Off The Post's betting column There are plenty of Premier League matches on this weekend and we all
know what that means â€“ football betting time! There aren't many games left and there isn't any
competitive football this summer, so unless you want to wait until August you better get your money
on some fixtures this [.
With team-mates like Bayern Munich's who needs enemies? You should know to expect plenty of japes
when the Pink Panther is your team-mate. But an unsuspecting Luca Toni was quietly going about his
training at a Bayern Munich open day when he received a swift kick from the testicles from Franck
Boro defender possessed by the spirit of Freddie Mercury Yesterday I spent an unhealthy portion of
my day trying to track down this video of Middlesbrough's David Wheater dancing and miming to the
Queen hit Don't Stop Me Now. Of course, the minute you stop looking it turns up on YouTube! So here
is Wheater showing you [.
The work of a Tractor contractor 1. At no point shall the amount a time per week Mr Keane spends
walking his dog exceed the amount of time spent training the squad of Ipswich Town Football Club.
2. The Ipswich Town squad will not consist of more than four failed Manchester United players at
any given time [.
Is he angling for a contact with Inter Milan... or Daz? Smapdoria striker Antonio Cassano is
undoubtedly a toddler trapped in the body of a professional footballer (in the manner that doesn't
need to be reported to the police). Not only does he throw ridiculous tantrums over silly things,
he also insists of stripping to his [.
Man Yoo star suffers virtual death RIP, virtual Cristiano Ronaldo. You died doing what you loved
best: playing football. Well, you died doing what you told your mum you loved best. Uncovered by
the naughty chaps at Dirty Tackle Share on Facebook
Pure genius This reworking of the GIF of Fergie going psycho against Everton last weekend has had
me in stitches. In fact, I'm still struggling to look at it with laughing. Whoever made this
deserves a knighthood for services to GIF. Thanks to OTP reader Jerome for sending this in. Share
We have an answer, ladies and gentlemen It is just a few hours since we began to ponder whether Roy
Keane would turn up to his first day at work looking like the bearded weirdo who quit Sunderland.
As you can see, Keano has not only found alternative employment but also his long lost razor. He is
Arsenal striker struggles through silly interview According to our calculations, Nicklas Bendtner
has been living in England for nearly five years now. But that still doesn't help him when it comes
to fathoming his way through this interview with Channel Bee. The 21-year-old has quite obscure
musical taste, claiming Nike are his favourite band.
Rough Roy or Clean Keane? Ipswich Town have announced that Roy Keane will make his return to
management with them. So the burning issue ahead of a 4pm press conference at Portman Road is: what
sort of shape is Keano going to show up in? Our friends at The Spoiler once discovered an
incontrovertible correlation between [.
'The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated' Manchester United are apparently swooping to
sign Dodo (just as well he is a flightless bird then). The 17-year-old - whose full name is Jose
Rodolfo Pires Ribeiro Dodo - currently plays for Corinithians in Brazil. The youngster has starred
for Brazil in the South American Under-17 championships, [.
If you answered 'yes' then it is your lucky day England stars have taken part in a shirtless photo
shoot to raise awareness of bowel cancer. The photos, which use computer graphics to show your the
players' insides, are to support the There Is Moore To Know campaign being run by the Bobby Moore
The ginger genius strikes Paul Scholes relieved any late nerves in Manchester United's match with
Portsmouth by putting this goal on a plate for Michael Carrick. Defence-splitting pass doesn't
really cover it: he takes out most of Portsmouth's midfield and defence with one ball. Nice finish
from Carrick too.
Sporting stars exchange shots and mundance questions Just days after the state of the pitch at
Wembley was a sore point for Messrs Wenger and Ferguson, pesky David Beckham and some miserable
Scottish bloke were indulging in some high jinks on the hallowed turf. Becks and tennis star Andy
Murray did the favoured viral routine of [.
Ref takes one to the head This may look like a keep fit initiative for obese men in their twenties,
but it is actually the Russian Premier League. The referee awards a free kick in the match between
Amkar and Kuban, but certainly isn't expecting the resulting dead ball to come flying towards his
Spanish waiter hands Premier League medal to Man Utd Now that the splendid 4-4 draw served up by
Liverpool and Arsenal has had time to digest, it is clear that the real winner was Sir Alex
Ferguson. That is why he is getting handed a Premier League medal by an unnamed Spanish waiter in
this lovely [.
Liverpool skipper can go tighter, lower and wider than Jamie Redknapp For a long time Jamie
Redknapp has, erm, held his own as the ladies man of the Sky Sports punditry team. But last night
he came up against stiff competition from some younger, fitter competition. Never one to back down
from a fight, Steven Gerrard picked [.
1. I imagine that is a pretty hollow way to go top of the table, Liverpool fans. Level on points
having played two more games than United looks pretty ominous. 2. An incredible match for the
neutral though (highlights here, if you haven't seem them yet). 3. Someone should make sure
Liverpool play a Tuesday night fixture [.
Liverpool boss gets rubbish Christmas presents If you thought you were the only person in the world
with those novelty socks your auntie got you at Christmas, think again. Rafa Benitez is just like
you, except he wears his in front of a TV audience of millions! OTP reader Russ tipped us about
this and reckons they [.
Superb Real comeback Well, it turned out to be a very good choice of match to go and check out Real
Madrid at the Santiago Bernabeu. Although if you had asked me at half-time, I might have disagreed.
Getafe took a 10th minute lead through Roberto Soldado and, although the atmosphere had hardly been
electric up [.
Four goals for Liverpool, Arsenal and Arshavin Liverpool are fast becoming the 4-4 specialists. The
kind of hitting analysis you expect from OTP tomorrow, but for now just enjoy the pulsating
highlights package. Share on Facebook
Awful, just awful As I mentioned earlier, I went to see Real Madrid take on Getafe tonight. More
thoughts on the match tomorrow, but for now here is a woeful penalty from Javi Casquero of Getafe.
This was to give the visitors a 2-3 lead with a couple of minutes remaining. In the end they lost
The dog's frolics You just don't get as many dogs on the pitch in English games anymore, do you?
Fortunately, the old school football tradition is alive and kicking in Lithuania. The match between
Å½algiris and MaÅ¾eikiai on Sunday was briefly held up when a cheeky pup made his way onto the
field of play intent [.
Zzzzzzzzzzz There is nothing happening today. It's official. Fingers crossed for a bit of activity
as the day progesses. A crazy pre-match outburst perhaps, Rafa? Please. Anyway, OTP has brought in
its parental consent form and a quid towards the coach fare, and is heading on a field trip this
Kind of This spoof report into Danielle Lloyd's switch of north London allegiances is brought to
you by Tim Lovejoy's online TV project Channel Bee (yeah, I thought he worked for Twitter too).
Spotted on 101GG Share on Facebook
Midfielder pays to ride Michael Owen's chopper! Newcastle duo Michael Owen and Nicky Butt are doing
their bit for the environment by travelling to work together. Unfortunately for polar ice caps,
their preferred method of transport is Owen's helicopter. Butt has revealed he hands over a
four-figure sum to Owen every month to help with petrol [.
One man who is glad of Setanta's TV coverage! Apparently, this strike from Michael Welch is a
couple of weeks old now but I am sure he will excuse our tardiness as we bring his 70-yard strike
against Crawley Town to move viewers! Spotted on 101GG Share on Facebook
A: Alan Shearer will be on Match of the Day next season. Ouch! That is the latest gag doing the
rounds as if to confirm that, yes, Newcastle's season has officially been a joke (as if you didn't
already know). Meanwhile, you have probably seen the reports elsewhere by now that Shearer is
banking on a gung-ho [.
DJ uses myths and lies to blame Liverpool fans for Hillsborough I gave serious thought as to
whether giving the misguided views of Steven Cohen (pictured above, left) more publicity was
something I wanted to, but our friends at EPL Talk asked very nicely and I am hopeful you will see
his comments for what they [.
Just how many seconds does it take before the pain of a ball to the face hits you? Barcelona star
Lionel Messi had his renowned boyish good looks threatened when Getafe defender Mario Alvarez
planted a clearance right on his conk. The Argentine initially appeared to be made of sterner
stuff, looked around and pointed at [.
Fergie flails arms, effs and blinds, and goes purple As alluded to in our Top 10 conclusions,
Fergie was not best pleased when United were not awarded a penalty for Phil Jagielka's trip on
Danny Welbeck in yesterday's FA Cup semi-final. In fact, he went mental (and purple). On the one
hand, yes it probably was a [.
1. Newcastle are in big, big trouble. Looking at their fixture list, the game against Tottenham
seemed to be one where they needed to pick something up. 2. With three of the Big Four in FA Cup
action, the weekend was dominated by relegation talk. 3. At home to Fulham is the sort of game you
Newcastle midfielder caught without train ticket Joey Barton was given a Â£61.20 penalty fare after
being caught on a train service from London's King's Cross to Cambridge without a ticket. The
midfielder was in possession of a piece of literature though. An onlooker told The Sun: "Given his
reputation, it was all about par for the course.
600 travelling fans get their money back Struggling Bundesliga side Energie Cottbus have offered to
refund the tickets of 600 fans who travelled to watch their abject display against Schalke. The
club has issued an apology on its website and called the 4-0 defeat a "pitiful performance". As you
can see above, Energie released a statement headed [.
1. That would be goodbye quintuple then. 2. Thank goodness for penalties or you might have only
been reading conclusions on the Arsenal-Chelsea match. 3. Sir Alex Ferguson reached aubergine on
the purple-o-meter when Danny Welbeck didn't get a penalty after being tripped by Phil Jagielka. 4.
I suspect he went a shade darker when he got [.
Wolves boss serves up a gem "I get a lot of pleasure out of DIY." Wolves boss Mick McCarthy know
that if you want a job doing, it is best to do it yourself. That is why he felt obliged to reveal
his love of DIY as Wolves clinched promotion to the Premier League. "At six o'clock on [...]
Lazy Brazilian still has decent eye-to-foot coordination Robinho's opening goal in Manchester
City's 4-2 victory over West Brom today was a bit special. Not that he can take all the credit. The
goal was created by a delightful dinked cross from the ever-improving Stephen Ireland. And Robinho
made no mistake with the finish to volley home [.
Be champions! We know every man and his dog already brings you Special 1 TV, but due to popular
demand OTP is now doing it too. Here is the latest episode from rubber Jose and the gang. Share on
When goals get geeky Liam Lawrence's goal against Blackburn might have virtually guaranteed Stoke
stay in the Premier League next season, but it also highlighted that the Potters' players are a
sheltered bunch. For the second time this season, Lawrence and James Beattie rolled out a
celebration based around the shoot 'em up video game Gears [.
[Insert your own keepy uppies pun here] A Bolivian physio has revealed he gave players the sex drug
Viagra without the knowledge to improve their, erm, performance at altitude. Rodrigo Figueroa has
revealed he crushed the drug into the fruit drinks of at least nine players from Blooming because
it oxygenates the blood.
Villarreal coach was not having a good night Arsenal may have won the Champions League quarter
final against Villarreal on the pitch, but Manuel Pellegrini pipped Arsene Wenger in the least
coordinated coach contest. While Wenger's dancing skills were dubious at best, Pellegrini outdid
him by far in the clumsiness stakes.
How not to win over the Liverpool faithful The chances of Charles Itandje ever amounting to more at
Anfield than being Liverpool's reserve keeper always seemed pretty slim, but they just got a whole
lot slimmer. As this GIF shows, television cameras spotted the 26-year-old larking around and
generally being disrespectful during Wednesday's memorial service marking [.
Player underestimates his jumping ability Anyone put a name to this hapless chap who tries to jump
on his team-mate in celebration but accidentally flies over the top of him Superman style? More
dodgy celebrations: Smashing the laptop The plastic nose Break-dancing The Houdini The Faceplant
Share on Facebook
So why is he nominated for PFA Player of the Year? Ryan Giggs is a wonderful football player. He is
still a joy to watch and he still has a part to play for Manchester United: an old head who has
been there and done that as United seek to make history this season. But has [...]
Roo Jnr coming out early so Daddy can play against Ukraine Coleen Rooney is planning to have a
Caesarean section two weeks before her baby is due to ensure that the birth does not clash with
England's World Cup qualifier in Ukraine. Baby Rooney is due on 10 October, the same date that
Wayne will be [.
Why let an offside flag get in the way of a bit unnecessary violence?! This GIF comes from
Manchester United's Champions League quarter final first leg against Porto last week. Nemanja Vidic
is in a foot race with Cristian Rodriguez for the ball. The big Serb has spotted the offside flag
but Rodriguez hasn't, so [.
More South American craziness Following the footage of a Brazilian coach thumping the referee
uncovered by OTP the other day, we can now bring you a club president running onto the pitch to
confront the ref. And we are pretty sure he would have swung a few punches given half-a-chance.
Guaratingueta president Carlos Arini felt obliged to [.
Or maybe it was just to match his hoodie and baseball cap Manchester City midfielder Stephen
Ireland has spent Â£10,000 getting his new car resprayed after his team-mates picked on him for the
original red colour scheme. Ireland, who is more accustomed to jibes about baldness and fake
grandparents, bowed to peer pressure and got his [.
The worst punch ever Here is Paris St Germain goalie Mikael Landreau with an error from a cross
that would have had a mid-1990s David James blushing. The French keeper made a half-hearted attempt
to punch a cross that had been deflected into the air, and instead gently pushed the ball over his
head and into [.
I'll be Beck I don't know about you, but I never buy a new mobile phone unless there is a
high-profile footballer promoting it by showing off images of their skeleton and arteries. That way
I can rest assured that I am at the cutting edge of technology! Step forward David Beckham and the
Of all the people to throw it at, that seems most appropriate Yet more crazy scenes from Brazil,
where Fluminense forward Thiago Neves was sent-off for throwing the ball at a ball boy. With his
side trailing 2-0 to Ãguia MarabÃ¡, Neves trotted across to take a corner. For some reason best
known to himself, he [.
If they're taller than him, they're old enough! In the days before the Britannia Stadium became
Fortress Britannia, home of the mighty Stoke City, it was the preferred stomping ground of Michael
Owen. Rounding up his favourite has-been goalkeeper and a young boy, Little Mickey would display
his goalscoring skills (and arrogance) to an empty stadium.
Doppelganger deathmatch We didn't realise that a sleeper cell of the Andy Garcia Fan Club were
operating within OTP's readership, but after yesterday's Dimitar Berbatov/Mark Strong lookalike our
inbox was inundated with messages from disgruntled Garcia fans eager to point out that their man
also looked like the grumpy Bulgarian (and one suggesting Count Von Count [.
Soccer Saturday host serves up another treat If you are not watching Soccer Saturday then you have
just missed this Mexican-flavoured delight from the legendary Jeff Stelling: #8220;The quote from
Iain Dowie was that Alan Shearer had #8216;big cojones#8217; to take the job. I#8217;m not sure
what cojones are, but I think I had them in my [.
Horror tackle from Holland Edgar Davids#8217; cousin, Lorenzo, is currently playing for NEC
Nijmegen. Well, we say currently playing - he can expect to miss the next few games after picking
up a red card in last night#8217;s clash with Schteeve McClaren#8217;s FC Twente. Lorenzo went in
over the top with a nasty tackle that cousin Edgar [.
Mission: Impossible 4 - retrieving the ball In retrospect, this Brazilian ball boy will reflect
that the action hero roll over the advertising hoardings was not strictly essential and thus caused
him unnecessary embarrassment. More ball boy fun! Share on Facebookimg
src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/offthepost/TLAa/~4/hwV8opRP3dI" height="1" width="1"/
Spurs striker lives next door to Amy Winehouse Robbie Keane and his WAG, Claudine, had a shock last
month when they discovered that the luxury house they bought in a quiet neighbourhood in north
London did not have the mouse-like neighbours they had first thought. In fact, their new
neighbour#8217;s every move in the Caribbean was [.
One way to pass time while waiting to get your haircut Try to imagine you#8217;re Sir Alex
Ferguson#8230; Share on Facebookimg
src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/offthepost/TLAa/~4/iljK5jZ5b_w" height="1" width="1"/
Scotland duo gesture at photographers The furore which saw Rangers#8217; Barry Ferguson and Allan
McGregor dropped from the Scotland team to face Iceland for a late-night drinking session at the
team hotel shows no signs of stopping. And it is unlikely to so long as the players are giving
photographers the Vs.
Sick Newcastle boss goes undercover to watch his successor Newcastle United#8217;s local rag, The
Chronicle, has sent one reporter and his trusty mobile phone down to the Magpies#8217; training
ground to record a few vox pops with the Toon Army hardcore who have turned up hoping to see Alan
Shearer at work.
Admirable cause, disturbing delivery Teddy Sheringham has lent himself and his balls to the Keep
Your Eye on the Ball initiative, the campaign to raise awareness of testicular cancer. OTP fully
supports the campaign, but this viral is just disturbing. If you are able to do any of these tricks
with your balls, it is probably [.
Guus Hiddink won#8217;t be putting on his boots Despite a striker crisis at Chelsea, Guus Hiddink
has ruled himself out of action against Newcastle tomorrow. The Blues are without Didier Drogba and
Nicolas Anelka remains a doubt, but Hiddink will not be replacing them in the team. Hiddink was
responding to the wave of Shearermania on Tyneside [.
Bless you, Lukas Hitting your team-mates is not a good idea. It tends not to make you too many
friends in the dressing room. The exception to this rule is when the team-mate you decide to hit is
Michael Ballack. Lukas Podolski stayed within the parameters we have just set out when he gave
Ballack a [.
Jobs for the boys from the Beeb Since new Newcastle United manager Alan Shearer has poached fellow
BBC pundit Iain Dowie to be his assistant, OTP decided that plans could be afoot to move all of the
Beeb#8217;s football team to St James#8217;s Park. We thought we would help Shearer out by creating
a few positions [.
1. Late is better than never. England looked they had let two points slip, but John Terry#8217;s
late goal puts them back on track. 2. Either Fabio Capello is a lucky manager or England have
inherited his winning mentality. That is the sort of game that would have gone badly under Steve
McClaren. England were not [.
An interview worth watching England#8217;s goalscoring hero talks of his desire to meet a ghost and
the advantages of being 6ft 7in tall when the world ends because of impending floods! Not the usual
terrain for an interview with the Portsmouth striker. Share on Facebookimg
Celebrations go metrosexual Gone are the days when a goal celebration was just a manly handshake, a
pat on the bum and maybe a quick kiss if you were lucky (unless you play for Juventus, of course).
No, celebrations have gone all girly. Despite presumably being overcome with emotion after grabbing
a late winner, England skipper John [.
Crouchinho strikes again He might be hated by Fabio Capello, slow, static and unable to press
defenders, but Peter Crouch is also able to swing those lanky legs at ridiculous angles to great
effect. The 6ft 7in wrapped his big feet round John Terry#8217;s header to turn it into the net. It
is 1-0 to England at [.
Reebok#8217;s goal-line technology for grassroots level This fantastic April Fools gag from Reebok
features Ryan Giggs demonstrating the new jumpers-for-goalposts technology that will settle
kickabout disputes once and for all. The AF1 technology features NASA (New Advanced Sports
Aerodynamics) technology, which uses a chip in the AF1 ball and the AF1 jumper to see whether or
Uzbekistan#8217;s hardcore training is in vain The Socceroos have become the first side to qualify
for next year#8217;s World Cup in South Africa after a 2-0 win over Uzbekistan. A goal from Josh
Kennedy (no relation to Dr Karl) and a Harry Kewell penalty gave Australia the victory they needed
to secure qualification with three games [.
Mild-mannered actor and West Ham fan Ray Winstone has lent his support to the FA#8217;s Respect
campaign in this new commercial. Winstone takes on the part of an over-enthusiastic dad giving it a
bit of verbal and a more laidback narrator who is happy just to watch the action. Share on
Reds manager illegally approached Finnish youngster Rafael Benitez is set to be charged by UEFA
over an alleged illegal approach for a wonderkid from Finland. HJK Helsinki claim the Liverpool
manager contacted their 19-year-old attacking midfielder Pal Forisol despite being refused official
Super Al to take charge until the end of the season Newcastle started the season with a Messiah in
charge, and it looks like they are going to end it with another one in charge. Alan Shearer is
reportedly set to take the reigns at St James#8217; Park after Joe Kinnear stopped making positive
noises about [.
The Ukrainians who have visited England before 1. Oleg Luzhny If every proof was needed that slow
and steady wins the face, our top Premier League Ukrainian is former Arsenal defender Oleg Luzhny.
He didn#8217;t set the world alight with the Gunners, but he was certainly more consistent than his
England coach clarifies he didn#8217;t want Crouchinho anywhere near his team England coach Fabio
Capello has taken the opportunity to tell anyone who will listen that Peter Crouch is not the sort
of player he wants leading the England line - just hours before the Portsmouth striker takes to the
pitch against Ukraine.
Tottenham#8217;s architects have been busy generating more graphics Work on Spurs#8217; new stadium
has progressed to the extent that OTP is now able to bring you a new computer graphic of the
finished article. When we first saw the plans we noted that Spurs had mastered #8220;corporate
whoredom for the unsubtle#8221;.
Yeah, that#8217;s right Keep your eyes peeled and when the member of this #8216;band#8217; second
from the right allows his floppy hair to leave his face, you will find none other than Andriy
Shevchenko hidden beneath. The band is then joined on stage by a woman clutching what appear to be
Two famous French exports var sid=315;var vid=19022; Please allow Manchester United legend Eric
Cantona to show you an automobile he would like you to purchase. Share on Facebookimg
src="http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~r/offthepost/TLAa/~4/YUg0XLGpTsU" height="1" width="1"/
How to show your appreciation for the mascot Emotions were obviously riding high as Germany scraped
out a hard-fought 4-0 victory against mighty Liechtenstein on Saturday. It all got a bit too much
for one fan who had to convey his happiness through the medium of mascot humping. Paule the eagle
was on the end of [.