Off the Post Archives for January 2008

Football video: Cristiano Ronaldo sent-off for silly handball against Manchester City

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C-Ron drops a clanger What was he thinking? It is not like he handled the ball to gain a goalscoring advantage - he just patted it down. Was he protecting his pretty face? Whatever his reasons, it was a completely idiotic way to pick up a second yellow card. It seems Manchester City are not his favourite [.

Football video: Anderlecht keeper Daniel Zitka breaks his leg, gets dropped from stretcher

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First aid, second pain Spare a thought for Anderlecht goalkeeper Daniel Zitka who - already in a world of pain after breaking his leg - was dropped from a stretcher while being carried from pitch. Zitka fell victim to a clumsy stretcher bearer who lost his footing and took a nosedive towards the turf.

Football videos: Yet another Titus Bramble error hands Ishmael Miller a goal for West Brom

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One-man blooper reel adds to back-catalogue Wigan defender Titus Bramble has, by his own illustrious standards, been relatively error-free this season. In fact, he even popped up with the equalising goal against former club Newcastle a couple of weeks ago. But it was business as usual against West Brom today as his defensive blunder handed Wigan [.

Steven ‘Manchild’ Gerrard celebrates 10 years of Liverpool first-team action

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Yerrm, a decade with the Reds, you know Today is 10 years to the day that an 18-year-old Steven Gerrard made his Liverpool debut against Blackburn. He looked a bit like this. It just goes to show: all that interview gurning and frowning is bound to take its toll over the years!

Hard Tackle: Cristiano Ronaldo’s gay FIFA 09 celebration

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Acknowledging your team-mates' contribution to your goal

Vote for us in the Blogger’s Choice Awards

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Vote for change Off The Post We would be very grateful if you could spare a couple of minutes from your busy schedules to register your vote for Off The Post at the Blogger's Choice Awards. We have been nominated in the Best Sports Blog category. Click here to do your Off The Post duty!

Jogging nuns and other things

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Football Lookalikes: Meet Rio Ferdinand’s body double

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Histon defender out to beat his alter ego's ex-club This is Histon FC centre-back Mat Mitchel-King who, we suppose, at a squint looks a bit like Rio Ferdinand. It is probably just a well that he resembles the Manchester United defender at least a bit since he is his body double in Nike adverts. The [.

Cartoon Franck Ribery shows off his Nike Mercurial Rosa pink boots again

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Bayern Munich star Franck Ribery reprises his role as the Pink Panther, and this time he is cartoon form.

Hard Tackle: Kaka wants to feel Luca Antonini’s lips so bad

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Brazilian puckers up in Pompey Put it down to the sea air, the port atmosphere, or the naval influences, but something about being Portsmouth last night made Kaka want to throw his Christian values out of the window and make out on the pitch with Luca Antonini. Beautifully lit.

Football video: Ronaldinho’s superb free-kick for AC Milan against Portsmouth

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Chubby Brazilian still deadly If the Fratton Park public were going to have their hearts broken they might as well have seen something special on the way. So Ronaldinho kindly obliged by providing this beautiful free-kick to get AC Milan back in the match and set the scene for Pippo Inzaghi's late equaliser.

Schalke beaten by Manchester United City

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Stadium announcer's cock-up spurs on City Manchester City were helped onto victory against Schalke in the Uefa Cup last night by a confused stadium announcer. The woman with the microphone did not seem to know who the Germans were playing, and referred to them as arch rivals Manchester United. She made a half-time announcement to: "Man U [.

Football Lookalikes: Heurelho Gomes and The BFG

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Big Fumbling Gomes Spotted on the weekly cauldron of schoolboy jokes that is the Guardian Gallery.

Nicolas Anelka is kidnapped

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Chelsea striker bound and gagged by pink-loving woman First we had the Pink Panther, now it is the turn of the pink Puma. Hotfooting it into the sports stores in the wake of Nike's Mercurial Rosa is Puma's very own pink boot. The very loose plot which allows them to have a topless Anelka and a woman [.

Football video: Dog turns out to be Fernando Torres’ toughest opponent

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Liverpool star thwarted by big German centre-back Before Manchester City spend £25 million on a new centre-back or Joe Kinnear scrounges his last few pence together to bring in new defenders, they might want to run the rule over the guy. Fernando Torres has barely had a frustrating afternoon since he arrived in England and yet [.

Off The Post’s Thanksgiving List

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As our American cousins are gorging themselves on huge portions of food (even more so than normal days), here are some things we are thankful for... 1. Turkey. Thankfully now he has stepped down as Arsenal captain he can go get stuffed. 2. Foreign sugar daddies who bankroll our clubs with scant regard for words like 'recession' [.

Football videos: Rene Higuita is still mad as a hatter

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Colombian keeper gets caught slightly out of position It's the age old positional dilemma for any goalkeeper: to rush out to the halfway line or not to rush out to the halfway line. In his long career, 42-year-old Rene Higuita has all too often found himself making the wrong decision. Some things never change with age [.

Football video: Sporting Lisbon’s Marco Caneira scores a nice own goal against Barcelona

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Portuguese defender lobs his keeper When you have fought back from 0-3 down to 2-3 against one of the biggest teams in Europe, what you don't need is one of your defenders to restore the opposition's two-goal cushion let alone do it with as much panache as Sporting Lisbon's Marco Caneira did against Barcelona.

Football video: Kaka plays with two balls in new viral

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Brazilian star does double keepy-ups There is no indication of who is being this new viral of Kaka playing with two balls, but I suspect we will eventually learn that it has Adidas' mucky fingerprints all over it. Led astray by a small child, the AC Milan man begins to really strut his stuff when the [.

‘Do Are Ya? Server Djeparov

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Server fail Meet newly crowned Asian Footballer of the Year Server Djeparov and his highly offensive barnet. Djeparov plays in Uzbekistan, where re-runs of Chris Waddle in his prime may or may not have recently hit the screens. The 26-year-old picked up the title in China last night following in the footsteps of the likes of (trawling [.

Nike’s Mercurial Rosa boots win Champions League matches

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Pink is the new black *Adopts David Attenborough voiceover* Above me see all four limbs of the pink-footed Franck Ribery - football's finest quadruped. Once a native of France, he now roams around his European hunting ground terrifying his opponents with fearsome looks and those flamboyant pink boots.

Football video: Villarreal’s Joan Capdevila sent-off for run-of-the-mill foul on Cristiano Ronaldo

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There are two people who think any foul on C-Ron is a red card offence One is Cristiano Ronaldo. The other is Italian referee Roberto Rosetti who dismissed Villarreal's Joan 'Crawford' Capdevila for this pretty routine foul on the Portuguese flyer. It's a foul, yeah. Give him a yellow card too by all means.

FA’s disgraceful decision not to punish Chris Morgan for Iain Hume injury pushes Barnsley towards the courts

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FA let someone else clean up the mess Chris Morgan, the Sheffield United defender who put Barnsley's Iain Hume in hospital with a fractured skull, has escaped further censure for the incident. Morgan's flying elbow left Hume fighting for his life but the FA says it cannot take any action. An FA spokesman said: "The FA has [.

Football video: Is crying Bojan Krkic football’s Macaulay Culkin?

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Barca's former child star loses the plot Everyone had heard the name Bojan Krkic before they had ever seen him play football. You wouldn't have been able to pick him out of an identity parade but you knew that in a few years he was going to be the next big thing of the Camp Nou [...]

Gareth Ainsworth should have more time to rock out now

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Ex-QPR caretaker boss has a decent pair of lungs Catering to Flavio Briatore every whim has got to be a difficult situation for even the most patient of managers. Gareth Ainsworth doesn't have to worry about that any more since QPR put former Portugal international Paulo Sousa at the helm. That should give Ainsworth time to [.

8/10 football managers would watch this video…

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...probably. Sponsored post. Enjoy.

Football video: German referee invents the simultaneous booking

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Prat tries to make name for himself - was possibly bullied at school Everyone knows how multiple bookings work in football. Sometimes a scuffle or incident needs to be resolved with more than one player being carded, so the referee shows the card to each player he needs to book. Until now that is. With all the [.

Football video: Xabi Castillo near breaks the net for Real Sociedad

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A ball hit so hard you will feel sorry for the net The sad thing about Real Sociedad players breaking their leg is that if they were fit and healthy they could be doing much more productive things, like busting a hole in the net. Here is Xabi Castillo (aka Matty Del Taylor) proving that his [...]

Football video: Franck Ribery is the Pink Panther

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The Mercurial Rosa gets its mascot

Football video: Steven Gerrard and Xabi Alonso go clay-pigeon shooting for Adidas

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Liverpool duo show off their boots If you buy the new Adidas Predator, you too will be able to kick a football at a clay pigeon without the help of any computer tricks whatsoever.

Arsenal find experienced midfielder who is not afraid to put his foot in

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The answer was in front of them all the time

Football video: Robin Van Persie’s cheeky disallowed goal against Manchester City

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Wily Dutchman scuppered by Alan Wiley Should this have counted? I don't think it breaks any of the laws of the game (ungentlemanly conduct, I suppose), but I think Alan Wiley was correct to rule it out. You don't want to have a situation where the goalkeeper restarting play is the most tense moment of the [.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 22-23 November

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1. Goals are so last season. Finding the net is out of fashion and wearing pink boots is in. 2. Arsenal's problems don't begin and end with William Gallas. Arsene Wenger seems to have adopted a very self-indulgent approach to management in recent times. January will be the time for him to swallow his pride and [.

Nicklas Bendtner puts Nike’s Mercurial Rosa pink boots into action

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Pink to make your title hopes shrink Arsenal's Nicklas Bendtner was the first Premier League player brave/flash/stupid/paid enough to wear pink boots when he wore the Nike Mercurial Rosa against Manchester City on Saturday. Unfortunately it seems that the slightly effeminate footwear serves only to convince the opposition that they are capable of giving you a [.

Harry ‘I Trust Heuelho Gomes’ Redknapp recalls Ben Alnwick from loan

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What Harry says and what Harry does Earlier this week, Spurs manager Harry Redknapp came out in defence of under-fire keeper Heurelho Gomes. Redknapp said: "He's our number one so he's got to do the job - we're relying on him heavily. I believe in him and we have to believe in him." Rough translation: our [.

Andrei Arshavin and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamkit

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Russian star's recurring dream of not playing for Zenit A trawl through the seemingly endless stream of quotes from Team Andrei Arshavin since the summer reveals that the Russia international is a bit of a dreamer. Unfortunately for Andrei, he keeps dreaming that he wants to play for different clubs and can never quite decide which [.

Cristiano Ronaldo tries to strangle Brazil’s Marcelo

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Why attempted to murder in front of thousands of spectators and the media is not a good idea Cristiano Ronaldo is a winner at the moment. Be it with Manchester United or individually, he is developing an increasingly trophy-laden mantelpiece. You can imagine then that having little or no impact as Portugal suffered a 6-2 defeat [.

AFC Wimbledon smash blocks of wood to win matches

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Sports psychology turns non-leaguers into pumped up lumberjacks If you thought Wimbledon's Crazy Gang years were in the past, think again. Non-league AFC Wimbledon have brought in a sports psychologist in a bid to improve their performances on the pitch. The players' new guru has got them smashing through blocks of wood to help them on [.

Football video: Stunning indirect free-kick

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Proof that the man taking an indirect free-kick can still steal the show If anyone wants to fill in the details, please let us know but the names of players and teams are irrelevant in comparison to the jaw-dropping action! Spotted on The Guardian

Eurosport celebrates England’s defeat to Argentina last night

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Hang on a minute... In the coverage that we saw last night, England beat Germany in Berlin. But in the parallel universe in which Eurosport exists the Three Lions were once again slain by Diego Maradona. A Eurosport hack who got a bit caught up in the Terry Butcher furore decided to write that Argentina had [.

Top five predictable features of Diego Maradona’s debut as Argentina manager

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Things you could have put money on from Diego's bow 1. Argentina beat Scotland. 2. Diego gets told off for touching the white line (although this time by a linesman not a court of law). 3. Diego reveals he nearly walked out part way through the week (albeit to see his pregnant daughter rather than due to a [.

Adidas Safety Collection @ JD

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The man behind Heurelho Gomes’ string of clangers gets the chop

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No, not Gomes himself - the other man behind his mistakes Yesterday, our friends at The Spoiler were mulling over the Premier League's top scapegoats. As if by way of response (perhaps they were unhappy at no longer being the butt of quite so many jokes) Tottenham today 'parted company' with goalkeeping coach Hans Leitert.

Football video: Scott Carson’s second howler for England gives Germany goal

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England keeper is serial cock-up artist You have to feel a bit sorry for Scott Carson. He is a very good keeper, but he does seem to be a bit cursed when he dons the England jersey. He kept up his 100 per cent blunder record with a disastrous role in Germany's goal. The blame must [...]

Germany’s Patrick Helmes dedicates goal to his dead dog

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This one's for you, pooch Germany striker Patrick Helmes had revealed pre-match that he was hoping for a goal against England to dedicate to his dead dog - and he duly delivered. When Helmes took advantage of the Scott Carson/John Terry fiasco to find the net, his first reaction was to point to doggy heaven.

Football video: Kid KO’d by somersault throw-in

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Death by dead ball When we compiled our top six threatening throw-ins, we missed this beauty. The brave and/or stupid defender does not seem to recognise the impact (quite literally) that standing so close to the throw-in taker will have on him. Spotted on The Spoiler

The injured England XI to face Germany

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The walking wounded Fabio Capello is without With Theo Walcott the latest withdrawal from the England squad after dislocating his shoulder (Arsene Wenger probably popped it out before he left the Emirates), we look at what could have been FabCap's team against Germany tonight if they weren't all crocked.

Random US college footballer runs into post

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Clumsy defender gets caught ball-watching Basic defensive coaching tells you to keep your eyes on the ball, but common sense dictates that you should probably have at least half-an-eye maintaining awareness that you are not about to run into any 8ft tall poles. It is a lesson Ignacio Falco of Lees-McRae College learnt the hard way!

Robinho takes the bus with his girlfriend

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Manchester City multi-millionaire takes public transport Robinho and his girlfriend have been spotted using public transport for a shopping trip to Manchester's Trafford Centre. The Brazilian star shunned the centre's enormous car parking facilities to arrive by bus at the former favourite shopping haunt of Victoria Beckham.

Football video: Nike Mercurial Rosa pink boots

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The must have accessory for the camp, flash or attention seeking footballer You're all thinking of Cristiano Ronaldo, right? This superb viral from Nike shows the reactions of various personalities to their new Mercurial Rosa pink boots. My personal highlights are Jeff Stelling mulling over whether to take a macho stance against the Rosas from the [.

Football video: Greek penalty area punch - Pablo Garcia on Diogo

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More unorthodox tactics Defending a free-kick which is likely to be crossed: pick up your man, stay goal-side, punch him in the stomach at the moment of delivery. Simple as that really - danger averted. Just ask POAK's Pablo Garcia who quells the threat posed by Olympiakos' Diogo with one blow. Spotted on 101GreatGoals

The curious clauses of Diego Maradona’s contract

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A inside look at the document signed by the Hand of God... ...Clause 2. Paragraph 3. Section 2. Mr Maradona will be captioned at all times...

Germany scupper England’s training plans

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Racial stereotyping for dummies England's inexperienced squad were hoping to get some much needed practice ahead of their friendly against Germany but those pesky Germans had other ideas. Miroslav Klose and company were up first and had put their beach towels on all the best spots on the training pitch!

Djimi Traore - goalscoring legend

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Lanky defender is super striker It goes without saying that Djimi Traore is one of the game's greats. Liverpool fans probably place him above the likes of Ian Rush and Kenny Dalglish after his amazing return of 928 goals in 88 appearances. And who can forget that loan spell at Lens when he averaged almost ten [.

Football video: Catania’s pants free-kick tactics

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Drop your shorts, boys. He won't see a thing Revolutionary set-piece tactics were on display in Serie A this weekend. Catania's players dropped deep into the penalty area, dropped their shorts to their knees to unsight the goalkeepers and stood back to enjoy as team-mate Giuseppe Mascara popped the ball into the back of the net.

Hard Tackle: Samuel Eto’o and Cesar Arzo

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Eskimo kisses all round Barcelona's Samuel Eto'o and Recreativo Huelva's Cesar Arzo get up close and personal. Hope they both opted for a pre-match brush of the teeth.

Chin twins: Michael Mancienne and Kirk Douglas

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I'm Spartacus! England's newest squad member Michael Mancienne looks like the son of Kirk Douglas, but without the Welsh wife. We have heard the expression that good centre-backs keep strikers in their pocket. In Mancienne's case he could probably keep a Michael Owen-sized attacker within his chin cavity.

Tony Adams does his best to scare the Portsmouth board

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Congratulations, you've just appointed a nutter New Portsmouth manager Tony Adams has given a peculiar interview to the Daily Mail in which he describes himself as a loner and seems quite pleased to be called eccentric. The ex-Arsenal man claimed it was his first and last interview as Pompey boss. He said: "I don't actually like people.

Photo of Iain Hume after head injury

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That looks a bit sore This is the damage done by Sheffield United's Chris Morgan. He looks like he has been beaten up by a thug on a night out. Well, one out of two, I suppose... Hume has apparently been left with an 18-inch scar after his life-saving surgery.

Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 15-16 November

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1. A Cristiano Ronaldo free-kick is a more dangerous set-piece than a Rory Delap throw in. 2. This season's Arsenal side might just be the most frustrating side in history. 3. Nicolas Anelka should definitely have gone into my fantasy football team. It looks like Le Sulk could be in for his best season since he was [.

Top 10 funny Football Manager screenshots

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We celebrate the launch of Football Manager 2009 by looking at some of the series' more light-hearted moments 1. Touchy feely managers 2. Giving a new meaning to long throw 3. Presumably there was a frustrating number of injuries in this match 4. The world's least imaginative parents 5. Who says there is no loyalty in the modern game?

Football video: Manchester United’s Danny Welbeck scores a beauty against Stoke City on his debut

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As debut goals go, this is a pretty good one I don't know if 17-year-old Premier League footballers still dream about their league debut, or whether they are taught in the Academy to avoid such unnecessary distractions. But if Danny Welbeck did allow his mind to wander sufficiently to picture scoring in his first game for [.

Is Michael Mancienne about to become England’s newest international?

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Chelsea youngster set for England call-up If you believe the rumours today then the answer is yes. Chelsea youngster Michael Mancienne, currently on-loan at Wolves, is being tipped as the surprise name in Fabio Capello's squad to face Germany in Berlin next week. The 20-year-old is being tipped by The Sun for a call-up after reportedly impressing [.

Top six threatening throw-ins

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Half-a-dozen footballers who are deadly with ball in their hands 1. Dave Challinor 2. Rory Delap 3. Steve Watson 4. Risto Kallaste 5. Unknown 6. Rob Johnson

Ian Wright is Ian Wrong over Didier Drogba incident

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Ex-Arsenal striker has the arguing skills of a six-year old Award-winning journalist Ian Wright has used his column in The Sun to spring to the defence of Chelsea coin-thrower Didier Drogba. The former England international claims: "Didier Drogba could have been blinded or even killed by the Burnley morons who pelted him with coins the other [.

Football video: Crazy soccer mom delivers MLS Cup to LA

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MLS players don't mind embarrassing themselves This Volkswagen advert features MLS players Ben Olsen, Chris Klein and Sacha Kljestan hitching a lift with a crazy soccer mom to the MLS Cup in Los Angeles. And of course the trophy and trophy handler come along for the ride too... Don't think they would have been able to [.

Football Manager 2009 is out now!

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(Summary is not available.)

David James drives to club in a Reliant Robin

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Pompey keeper punished for poor training Portsmouth goalkeeper David James is bringing a touch of retro chic to the club's training ground after being forced to drive a Reliant Robin. The England international was handed the keys to the old banger after being voted the club's worst trainer. Jamo might not be the car's owner for too [.

Hard tackle: Taison cuddles up to team-mate during flight

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Brazilian player stops short of joining the Mile High Club Dull news report about football team travelling on plane. Probably telling you when Internacional are expecting to arrive at their destination, when they are next training and... woah! Hang on a minute! Was that player snuggling up to his team-mate for an in-flight nap?

The secret behind Rory Delap’s long throws

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Stretch him, Tone The frequently chuckle-worthy Guardian Gallery has had a field day with Rory Delap as its theme. This is one of our favourites, featuring Rory Delap as a Stretch Armstrong toy (old school) and Tony Pulis giving him his pre-match warm-up. Click Read More to see what Steve Bruce is up to at Wigan [.

Football video: Derby County and Leeds United fans celebrate their mediocrity

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Two teams united in a fall from the big time! When Derby met Leeds in the Carling Cup last night, the fans of both sides realised they had something in common. The self-deprecating Rams and Whites followers joined forces for a stirring chorus of "we're not famous anymore."!

Emmanuel Eboue’s jam jar glasses

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Arsenal man should have gone to Specsavers Eboue: No, you don't understand. I want something thicker. They need to be really out there! Optician Perhaps I could interest you in a pair of specs from our paedo range? Arsenal utility man Emmanuel Eboue saw Tuesday night's Carling Cup victory over Wigan approximately three times as big as everyone [.

Football video: Lyon’s Remy Vercoutre delivers a backpass howler

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Goalkeeper is not strictly accurate. How about goalgiver? To be fair to Lyon goalkeeper Remy Vercoutre, the backpass he receives in this video is a bit on the short side. Sadly his sidefooted pass to an onrushing FC Metz attacker is inch perfect. D'oh! Spotted on The Offside

Football video: Burnley knock Chelsea out of the Carling Cup!

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Blues shocked by Clarets Featuring a wonderful solo goal from Didier Drogba, an equaliser from a very happy Ade Akinbiyi and a missed penalty from John Obi Mikel to hand victory to Burnley.

Career change for Graeme Le Saux

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Ex-Chelsea full-back is hugging the touchline again Since Roman Abramovich's millions arrived, you expect to see a few familiar faces scattered around Stamford Bridge on matchday. What you don't expect is to find former Chelsea and England full-back Graeme Le Saux working as a pitchside photographer, complete with back-to-front baseball cap, fluorescent vest and huge camera.

Welcome to the crazy world of mudball

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It's like football but on mud In England we call the traditional game of football played on mud 'away at Wigan', but in Finland they call it mudball. It doesn't so much test your technique as your ability to stay afloat. The teams take it very seriously though (well, except for the ones in drag or [.

Fabio Capello bans England squad from ketchup and chips

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A sauce close to the England squad is now out-of-bounds When during the latest England scandal, The Sun inevitably digs out a quote from "a source close to the England squad" we often wondered whether this was the squad's favoured tomato sauce doing the dirty on them. But from now on we cannot blame the ketchup [.

You are the dancing cat

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(Summary is not available.)

Stoke’s local paper takes a pop at Arsene Wenger

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Local journos keep an eye on violent activity for Arsenal boss It seems the journalists at North Staffordshire newspaper The Sentinel did not take kindly to Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger attempting to besmirch the name of their local Premier League side. The paper incorporated a special injury watch into the player ratings to make sure Stoke [.

Justice for Iain Hume petition launched

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Lobby for police charges against Chris Morgan An online petition has been launched calling on the police and the FA to take action against Sheffield United defender Chris Morgan following the incident which left Barnsley's Iain Hume in hospital with a fractured skull. The petition reads: "We, the undersigned, wish to express our disgust at Chris Morgan's [.

Football video: Carlos Vela’s chip against Wigan in the Carling Cup

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Arsenal youngster sees off the Latics I don't think I have used the word exquisite yet on Off The Post, but I am going to now. Arsenal's young Mexican, Carlos Vela, scored an exquisite goal against Wigan last night as he raced onto a through ball and deftly chipped the ball over both the sliding tackle [.

Google is sick of injury-prone Ruud Van Nistelrooy

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What, is he injured again? He sure is, and everybody's favourite search engine has had just about enough of it. The Real Madrid striker is set for more surgery and another long lay-off due to his notoriously dodgy knees. Spotted on The Beautiful Game

Football video: Barnsley’s Iain Hume fractures skull against Sheffield United

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Tykes consider legal action over incident Original Video Sheffield United could do with a season ticket at the courts right now. With Tevezcherano still bubbling away somewhere, the club is now been threatened with some legal action of their own. Barnsley is considering legal action against Blades defender Chris Morgan after a clash which left Iain Hume [.

Football video: Roma’s Cicinho scores a diving header own goal against Bologna

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Don't get too many of those to the pound God bless Brazilian footballers. They can't even score own goals without using more technique and panache than we could ever dream of. Take Cicinho of Roma, for instance. Here he is scoring a 91st minute equaliser for Bologna at the weekend. An outstanding diving header to give [.

Jens Lehmann threatens to quit over dodgy German referees

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Stuttgart keeper is tired of being booked If Joe Kinnear thought his Mickey Mouse comment about Martin Atkinson was scathing criticism, he had better think again. Ex-Arsenal keeper Jens Lehmann has revealed he is tempted to quit football after picking up his third yellow card of the season for dissent.

Six-year-old kid with amazing skills

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The new new Zidane I would be happy if I could do most of these tricks without falling over now, never mind at six years old. We are not quite sure who this crazy French kid is but he looks to have a bright future ahead of him. Spotted on Soccerly

Helpful things for confused tourists

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Football video: Jose Mourinho walks out on Italian TV interview

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The Special One is now the Stroppy One (or was he always?) If there's one thing Jose Mourinho doesn't like it is criticism of Jose Mourinho. So when Italy's media wanted to give the Inter Milan boss a dressing down over his celebratory hushing of Udinese's fans, it all got a bit too much for Mourinho.

Ipswich midfielder David Norris in hot water over handcuff gesture

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Tractor Boy makes gesture to jailed Luke McCormick Ipswich Town's David Norris has found himself in trouble with the club after celebrating his goal against Blackpool with an alleged handcuff gesture. The celebration was reported to be a message to former Plymouth Argyle team-mate Luke McCormick who was jailed for causing the deaths of two children [.

Why Arsenal need a touch of Honest Harry from Arsene Wenger

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Harry Redknapp is one of the least 'Arsenal' football managers in the game. Arsenal and Harry Redknapp are like polar opposites, which is probably one reason why he is making such a good Tottenham manager thus far. Redknapp, while more than holding his own in the modern game, is essentially a throwback to a bygone [.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend 8-9 November

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1. Vedran Corluka has escaped the razor for a few more days at least. 2. Arsenal are not going to win the title, but hopefully they proved to themselves and their critics that they are not a poor time - just poorly mentally equipped for games they ought to win. 3. Joe Kinnear, on a lesser scale [...

‘Do Are Ya? Djibril Cisse

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Black mohican, blond beard An ever understated offering from the Djibril Cisse collection - a man rarely seen with a dodgy 'do. The Sunderland striker is putting peroxide facial hair on the map, while proving that it is possible to maintain a mohican at the same time...

Real Sociedad’s Diaz de Cerio suffers horrific leg break

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That's gotta hurt Horrific incident from La Liga this weekend. Real Sociedad player Diaz de Cerio broke his leg as he chased down the Eibar goalkeeper. It was one of those leg-dangling, vomit-in-your-mouth kind of leg breaks. Picture after the jump... Spotted on 101GreatGoals

Football videos: Arsenal 2-1 Manchester United highlights

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Welcome to the Samir Nasri show Arsenal's under-fire players and manager proved that talk is cheap by putting last week's woes behind them with a surprise win over rivals Manchester United.

Football video: ESPN makes a boob over Steve Nicol (or possibly Nipple)

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New England Revolution coach give name change During the MLS Cup semi-final between New England Revolution and Chicago Fire, former Liverpool player Steve Nicol was kindly given a new nickname by an ESPN pundit with a wandering mind... Spotted on The Offside Rules

Football video: Nadir Belhadj’s goal against Sunderland

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Algerian unleashes a great strike for Pompey Portsmouth's on-loan Algerian, Nadir Belhadj, decided to make his first goal for Portsmouth a special one. This strike just after half-time put Tony Adams' side back in contention against Sunderland and sent them on their way to victory. It's a nice one! Spotted on 101GreatGoals

Football video: Manchester United kitman Albert Morgan nicks Cristiano Ronaldo’s top in new Nike advert

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Albie gets C-Ron's training gear and his skills You wouldn't have thought that merely wearing Cristiano Ronaldo's skintight Nike training gear would allow you to show him up on the football pitch, but Nike see things a little differently. Manchester United kitman Albert Morgan gets a new lease of life when he dons the magic Nike [.

Barack Obama’s presidential motorcade revealed

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Following the Hammers What else could West Ham's most famous long-distance admirer drive around in? Spotted on Dirty Tackle

Are you on delicious?

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Us too, as of today. If you are a member of delicious, please click here to add Off The Post to you bookmarked URLs. If this a foreign language to you, you can still follow the link and sign-up to support the site.

Want to be a Football Manager?

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The most addictive game on the planet is back! A sneak preview at what you can look forward to.

Football video: Nancy’s Gennaro Bracigliano walks ball into net

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A goalkeeping howler of epic proportions "Hey, Gennaro. Welcome to goalkeeping school. Lesson one: under no circumstances do you walk across your goalline with the ball in your possession. It's sort of like doing the opposition's job for them. Got that?" Sadly he hadn't, and this was painfully exposed during Nancy's Uefa Cup tie with Lech Poznań [.

‘Do Are Ya? Vedran Corluka’s beard

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Croatian comes up with excuse not to shave Superstitious Spurs full-back Vedran Corluka has vowed not to shave as long as his side remain unbeaten under Harry Redknapp. The Croatian - who wouldn't have found it too difficult to keep clean-shaven under Juande Ramos - has been letting his beard grow since Redknapp's first game in [.

Football videos: Ronaldinho’s still got it, scores cracker against Sporting Braga

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Ronny rocket Carrying a few extra pounds might slow you down, but it also allows you to put a bit of extra weight behind thunderbolts like this. Ronaldinho: we bow to your superior knowledge of what it takes to be the best. Keep on eating and keep on partying!

Fed up with football? Try the new sport of civilian killing

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BBC's unfortunate technical problems A technical problem with the BBC's homepage has reduced the mysterious deaths of civilians in the Democratic Republic of Congo to mere sport. In the screen dump above, you can clearly see that the Beeb's top sport story for the day is DR Congo 'civilian deaths' probed.

Please watch our sponsored videos…

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And the award for most wooden MTV award presenter goes to… Michael Owen

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Like a fish out of water Newcastle striker Michael Owen teamed up with Anastacia to present an award at the MTV Europe Awards in Liverpool last night. The (occasional) England man came face-to-face with musical legends Tokio Hotel (who?) to give them their award. He wisely left most of the talking to Anastacia.

Darius Vassell - Samba Boy

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Manchester City player gets a Brazilian Manchester City striker Darius Vassell was kindly given a change of nationality by ITV commentator Peter Drury during the Uefa Cup tie with FC Twente. The overlooked England international now faces the dubious task of breaking into the Brazil national side. Drury said: "Darius Vassell has finished his first shift back [.

Football video: Robinho’s goal against FC Twente

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Robbo curler sinks Schteeve McClaren'sh FC Twente Another great goal from City's little magician. A moment of brilliance to spark the tie with FC Twente into a really good match. He also hit the post twice and could easily have had a hat-trick. Instead we will have to make do with the one peach!

Where are they now? Arsenal’s 1999 double-winning back four

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Encouraged by Tony Adams' pursuit of former team-mate Martin Keown, we catch up with the locations of four man who are highly sought-after for their defensive prowess. Lee Dixon Now showing up the tactical knowledge of most of the other pundits on the BBC's football coverage. He also has a host of other business interests, including the [.

A daredevil mouse (and not the one planted on Gary Neville by Anderson)

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(Summary is not available.)

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Linfield’s Conor Hagan get hits by a firework

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Cup final ends in nasty incident The final of Northern Ireland's County Antrim Shield ended in controversy after a Linfield player was hit by a firework. Cliftonville had just secured a surprise win over favourites Linfield when a firework was thrown at defender Conor Hagan. Thankfully Hagan escaped unharmed except for being pretty shaken up by [.

Hard tackle: Juventus’ post-match love-in

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Any football photo requiring a top-bottom caption is bound to be unusual Juventus duo Giorgio Chiellini and Nicola Legrottaglie forgot the watching eyes of the Santiago Bernabeu stadium as they set about celebrating their victory of Real Madrid. Chiellini seems to be enjoying himself anyway. See the homoerotic Italians getting in even more of a tangle [.

Dorinel Munteanu is forever blowing bubbles

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Steaua Bucharest coach wants to share his chewing gum with you We have all at some point found ourselves sick of the sight of Sir Alex Ferguson chomping away on his chewing gum like a man eager to dislocate his bottom jaw from the rest of his head, but at least he never does this. Steaua [...]

Football video: Brazilian defender sent-off for grabbing yellow card

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I see your yellow card, and I raise you red Botafogo's Andre Luis was red-carded in the Copa Sudamericana match with Estudiantes after snatching the yellow card from the referee's hand. He then flashes it around a bit before screwing it up and putting it back into the ref's hand. He promptly receives a red card [.

Hard Tackle: Adrian Mutu and Felipe Melo

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You look devine in purple What is it with these Italian clubs and Champions League football? It makes them want to show their team-mates a real good time. Here is Felipe Melo offering Fiorentina team-mate Adrian Mutu his congratulations on a nice goal.

Sunderland players take to the catwalk

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Black Cats squad take part in charity fashion show The life of Premier League footballer does not involve a couple of hours of training and then back home to do what you please. On the contrary, you never know when your club will spring a charity fashion show upon you. The Sunderland players were recently given this [.

Standard Liege’s Dieumerci Mbokani gets his head stuck on a rollercoaster

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Congolese player falls foul of an un-fairground For some reason best known to themselves, Standard Liege's Dieumerci Mbokani and Steven Defour are being filmed on a fairground ride. The happy duo are sharing a joke, which causes Mbokani to lean over and cuddle up to his team-mate. Unfortunately for him, he does this at the precise [.

The biggest shock to hit Spaniards in England since THAT penalty decision

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Do Are Ya? Benoit Assou Ekotto

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You might as well fo the white line Did Tottenham full-back Benoit Assou Ekotto go to a Halloween party as a badger, or did he fall asleep on the touchline while the White Hart Line pitch was being painted by the groundsman. Spotted on 101GreatGoals

Is this a penalty?

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No, is the answer you are looking for See Gerrard's best dives after the jump...

‘Do Are Ya? Robinho

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The Brazilian hedgehog look Do you think he asked for a long back and short sides?

Joey Barton back to pushing and shoving

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Ex-jailbird involved in minor on-pitch scuffle Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton flexed his muscles during last night's victory over Aston Villa by scuffling with renowned football hardman Gabriel Agbonlahor. Magpies coach Chris Hughton said: "Any incident regarding Joey is going to be blown up twice as much as it's going to be with any other player.

Kitman: Barack Obama - Soccer Supporter

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Presidential T One for our American readers and a last-minute subliminal message to encourage you to vote correctly. We wouldn't want any of you voters being swayed by the Bob Bradley Effect. This Obama Soccer Supporter t-shirt costs $27.55, but there is currently an Election Day $3 discount. Click here to (cough, VOTE OBAMA) buy.

Football video: Rory Delap tribute

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The Premier League's worst kept secret weapon How do you defend it? Answers on a postcard please. In the meantime, Stoke City can be content in their mid-table habitat smugly compiling over-dramatic compilations like this one!

Adidas launches new Originals range

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Football video: Squeaky clean Lionel Messi gets caught spitting

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Does he phlegm like Maradona? Barcelona star Lionel Messi might often come off looking like Argentinian football's goody two-shoes, but he seems to be doing his best to shake off that image. At the weekend he unleashed a spectacular volley of spit towards Malaga's Duda during a La Liga match. And it was all caught on [.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend 1-2 November

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1. Having taken plenty of stick from Spurs fans (on this site and others) when I had written articles saying that the club had to get rid of Damien Comolli and Juande Ramos to stop the rot, it would be fascinating if the same people could come forward with their opinions now! 2. Harry Redknapp will [.

Hard tackle: Yakubu gets touched up by John Pantsil

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Fulham defender gets touchy feely in the box We can only assume that cheeky Fulham man John Pantsil got a little confused when Roy Hodgson told him to cut out any balls at the near post!

‘Do Are Ya? Rio Ferdinand is Wayne Rooney’s barber!

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Man Yoo team-mate shaved Wazza's head Rio Ferdinand has been outed as the man responsible for Wayne Rooney's drastic haircut. Rooney reportedly gave his Manchester United and England team-mate the go-ahead to take the clippers to his hair after getting fed-up with jibes about his receding hairline. A 'United source' told The Sun: "Wayne was fed up [.

Harry, Jamie and Louise Redknapp have fun on the Nintendo Wii

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Spurs boss is closet gamer How do you rewind after a hard day at the office as saviour of Tottenham Hotspur? Call round to your son's house for a quick game on the Wii, of course. If you can get the daughter-in-law involved, even better. Spotted on 101GreatGoals

Football videos: Stoke beat Arsenal!

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Rory Delap: take a bow, son From my rough calculations, I reckon Rory Delap can lay claim to having earned 12 of Stoke City's 13 Premier League points so far this season. Video spotted on 101GreatGoals

Football video: NAC Breda’s Anthony Lurling punches opponent

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Giving a new meaning to penalty box Apparently punching a guy in the stomach is a red card offence these days! I just don't know what the world is coming to, and neither does NAC Breda's Anthony Lurling who clearly thought his body blow was within the laws of the game. Spotted on 101GreatGoals

Bloggers under siege

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(Summary is not available.)

Nantes’ Remy Mareval hits a top corner beauty

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Pick that one out There was absolutely nothing any goalkeeper could have done about Remy Mareval's strike for Nantes against Marseille in midweek. In fact, I doubt very much if a defender on the post could have done anything - at least not without having his head knocked off. You could say it was Mareval-ous strike.

Russell Brand writes his regular Guardian column, avoids mentioning his little situation

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Phone prankster talks football Russell Brand, the comedian/deejay/film star/legendary swordsman/columnist who had radio work stripped from his jack of all trades portfolio this week, has provided his weekly football column for the Guardian. Brand, who was forced to quit BBC Radio 2 after more than 30,000 complaints about a series of lewd phone calls to Fawlty [.

ESPN advertising system drops the ball

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An interesting new media juxtaposition If proof were needed that, for all the good computers do in our lives, you should always have a fully functioning human nearby to cast an eye over things... You can almost imagine ESPN Soccernet's keyword advertising system getting all overexcited. "Ooh, ooh, they typed Manchester Unted.