Off the Post Archives for January 2008

Another Dubai takeover

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Or should that be a Dubai overtake? var sid=315;var vid=17584; Please watch our sponsor's video.

Danny Baker performs the Footballers’ Bohemian Rhapsody

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Pure genius! Wanted to post this for ages, but the internet police tend to keep snapping up the videos. Hopefully, this will stay around long enough for you to enjoy it. It is absolute class. I suggest you click Read more below and read the outstanding lyrics as you listen. If this doesn't crack you up, [.

Karlsruhe defender Maik Franz takes on a chair, chair wins!

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Inanimate object makes mockery of footballer Karlsruhe's Maik Franz was eager to show just how annoyed he was at being sent-off during his side's defeat to Schalke last night. Sadly, he chose the wrong piece of stadium furniture to pick on. The hard as nails chair took Franz's best blow with ease and very nearly knocked [.

Football video: Pirate hat goal celebration

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Player gets yellow card, but spared the plank Chipstead's Daryl Coleman wasn't going to let his fifteen seconds of fame go to waste when he scored a beautiful free-kick during his side's 4-1 defeat to Torquay. He did the only thing he could under the circumstances: donned a pirate hat to celebrate his goal.

Celebrate with your heroes: get them to pile on top of you

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Spurs fan in the thick of it Ever wanted to get up and close and personal with your favourite footballers? Worried that you will be immediately carted away by an over-zealous steward? The solution is simple: get yourself at the bottom of a pile-on like the Spurs fan pictured above. See exactly how he got himself [.

Darren Farley is back with more Liverpool impressions

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Mystery impressionist making a big impression It is just over a fortnight since we brought you footage of a Liverpool fan stood in a corner shop doing uncanny impressions of Reds personalities. Now Darren Farley has found himself on Sky Sports News after an impressive reaction to his initial video. More Darren after the jump.

Football videos: Arsenal 4-4 Tottenham

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Eight-goal thriller at the Emirates One of the greatest Premier League matches. Just an incredible game - outstanding goals, the miracle turnaround Harry Redknapp seems to have started at Spurs, and an unbelievable comeback. Sit back and watch the highlights in full. Darren Bentley's strike inevitably grabs the headlines, but a fantastic goal from Jermaine Jenas too.

Arsenal are on par with their ladies team

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Cheeky Cesc's comments backfire Last night's thriller between Arsenal and Spurs created a lot of talking points, but one is that the Gunners are only as good as the Arsenal Ladies team. Before the match Cesc Fabregas has claimed that Tottenham could only manage a draw against the women's outfit. He said: "They would do really well.

Barack Obama: football fan… sort of!

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Presidential candidate in terrace punch-up This is Barack Obama. You may have heard of him. Here he is sitting on a fold out chair at his children's 'soccer' match. And exchanging blows with his wife!

Football video: David Bentley’s stunning goal for Tottenham against Arsenal

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How to stick it to your former employers What a strike! The perfect opening to one of the greatest matches in Premier League history. Check back tomorrow for highlights of the full match - compulsory viewing!

Share the love, click the vid

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‘Do Are Ya? Jose Mourinho

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The Special One gets clippered Consistency all over, nothing on the wings, and dropping deep up front, it must be Jose Mourinho's new haircut. The Inter Milan boss has chosen the depths of autumn as the best time to shave his noggin. Expect to see a San Siro sniffle shortly. Spotted on Kickette

Wigan’s Amr Zaki quietly contemplates defeat

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Must... leave... pitch... but... too...hard Wigan striker Amr Zaki took defeat against Aston Villa pretty hard on Sunday. He wandered around the pitch aimlessly as his team-mates returned to the dressing room to be prodded by Steve Bruce's chubby index finger. The Egyptian then lost the ability to walk and was halfway towards a William Gallas-style sit-in [.

Football video: Harry Redknapp receives the freedom of Portsmouth

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'Arry gets 'eckled Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp yesterday became a freeman of Portsmouth. The ex-Pompey boss picked up the accolade just days after walking out on Pompey. Redknapp gave an understandably downbeat speech during which he was booed (but also cheered).

Give him the freedom of the city, then chase him out of town!

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Harry Redknapp to be honoured in Portsmouth With the sort of comic timing that you just can't make up, Harry Redknapp will today receive the freedom of the city of Portsmouth. The ex-Pompey boss walked out on the club to join Tottenham just three days ago. The new Spurs manager is keen to receive the accolade [.

Barcelona fan jailed for insulting Moroccan king

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Don't put your favourite La Liga club above the Royal family A Moroccan schoolboy who supports Barcelona has been jailed for insulting the country's Royal family. Yassine Belassal altered the phrase "God, The Nation, The King" on the school blackboard so that it instead read "God, The Nation, Barcelona".

Just in case you thought all the piss-taking had got through to Steve McClaren…

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... it hasn't This interview was from last week's action. When will he ever learn. At least he manages to slip-in the English cliche: "Anything can happen in football."

Steve McClaren’s coaching methods continue to work wonders

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So that's where Paul Robinson got the idea... I didn't wake up and decide it was National Pan Steve McClaren Day (surely every day is Pan Steve McClaren Day), but that is the way it has turned out. Thanks to Off The Post reader Koert for spotting this beauty. Fast-forward 4mins six seconds into this video [.

Five reasons why we should all have known Harry Redknapp wanted to be Tottenham manager

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'Arry's transfer dealings give the game away 1. Noe Pamarot 2. Younes Kaboul 3. Sol Campbell 4. Sean Davis 5. Jermain Defoe This guy has been running a Spurs team on the south coast for the last few years right under our noses. His new job is basically a promotion from Tottenham reserve coach to Tottenham first team coach.

Police can call off raid on White Hart Lane

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No need to take Spurs' computers! "The chairman will do the deals. I will pick the players, and if he [Levy] can deliver them then great." It probably saves the BBC and the FA a lot of hard-work that way, Harry!

Vote: Would you rather pay £5 million for Harry Redknapp and Giovani Dos Santos?

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Who is Spurs best £5 million signing? Spurs have reportedly spent around £5 million bringing Harry Redknapp to White Hart Lane, just shy of the amount they spent on one of their disappointing summer signing, Giovani dos Santos. So who is most worth the money: Redknapp or Dos Santos? Vote after the jump.

Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend 25-26 October

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1. Liverpool three points clear at the top of the Premier League table. Would you Adam and Eve it? 2. Chelsea can be beaten at the Bridge. 3. Tottenham Hotspur do have a squad capable of winning football matches. 4. Robinho was worth all that money. A great hat-trick from the Brazilian to disprove the theory that you [.

Wayne Rooney, yellow card badge-kisser

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How to make friends and influence Evertonians Hosted at fliggo.com | Wayne Rooney brought a new brand of badge-kissing to the Premier League on Saturday when he snogged his Manchester United crest to celebrate picking up a yellow card for fouling Everton's Mikael Arteta. If yellow card badge-kisses are to be the new craze, [.

Harry Redknapp goes to Tottenham!!!

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You wait two months for Juande Ramos to be sacked, and then... Even though I was strongly of the opinion that Spurs needed to get rid of Juande Ramos, I did not see this one coming. Daniel Levy and co have taken a big gamble in paying off their beleaguered Spanish boss and rushing in a [...]

Smoking William Gallas in trouble over cigarette photo

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Arsene Wenger fuming about crafty fag Arsenal captain William Gallas could face action from the club after being photographed leaving a nightclub with a cigarette in his mouth. The French defender was snapped driving his car with the fag in his mouth, although newspaper reports claim witnesses said the cigarette was unlit (possibly the first time [.

Sergio ‘Kun’ Aguero - singing star

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Atletico Madrid striker's venture into the music biz This is quite an old video, but it has escaped my attention thus far so I am guessing it might be a similar story for others. This is Atletico Madrid and Argentina's Kun Aguero teaming up with compatriots Los Leales for a bit of a singsong.

Juande Ramos and Damien Comolli perfect putting square pegs in round holes

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Courtesy of the ever-excellent Guardian Gallery Team selection the Tottenham Hotspur way!

David Beckham set for number 75 at AC Milan

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75 is the lucky number After CR7, R9, and David Beckham's unofficial ownership of the number 23, it looks like DB75 will be football's hot initial/number combo in 2009. The Mirror reports that if Beckham's loan deal to AC Milan is finalised he will play (assuming he actually plays) with a number 75 on his back.

Hard tackle: Andrey Voronin tackles himself

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Ukrainian striker cops a feel The life of a striker can be a lonely one. Hovering around the halfway line waiting for some decent service. Your mind is bound to wander. Just ask Didier Drogba. We don't know what Hertha Berlin's Andrey Voronin was thinking about during last night's Uefa Cup clash with Benfica, but it [.

Heurelho Gomes’ Uefa Cup cock-up for Tottenham against Udinese

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Paul Robinson: allow yourself a wry smile When your team is going through a bad patch it is good to know that you have a reliable keeper between the sticks. Like Tottenham and Heurelho Gomes, for instance. Here is the Brazilian goalie helping his side on their way to Uefa Cup defeat to Udinese last night.

Juande Ramos’ Facebook feed

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Even beleaguered managers need social networking This hilarious Facebook feed shows exactly what Tottenham boss Juande Ramos has been up to while he should have been sorting out his squad. It seems the under-fire Spaniard is yet another victim of social networking site addiction. Click the picture to make it BIGGER.

GIF It: Dani Alves’ superb assist for Barcelona against Basel

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Avatar of the day for Barca fans everywhere This is classy. Barcelona's marauding wing-back Dani Alves is not even looking in the right direction when he played this superb assist against Basel in the Champions League last night. Imagine how good the ball would have been if he had looked! If you spot any good footballs GIFs [.

Break up the easy way

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Wallace and Gromit play football

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Expert inventors show off the Soccamatic. Mid-table Preston could do with this contraption to fire them into the play-off places. Wallace and Gromit present the Preston North End Soccamatic. Shades of Gordon Banks from Gromit (followed by shades of Kevin Pressman). Spotted on The Offside Rules

Hard Tackle: Burnley’s Robbie Blake shows off his poker pants

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Striker shows off his undies after scoring Burnley forward Robbie Blake showed off a pair of personalised pants after scoring a midweek goal against Coventry. The striker had been given a pair of red undies with bearing the slogan 'BAD BEAT BOB' due to his dismal record in the Clarets' poker sessions.

Hard Tackle: Gary Caldwell gets a good sniff of Wayne Rooney

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Celtic defender can confirm the sun shines out at the minute We do not know whether Celtic's Gary Caldwell was trying to bury his head in shame after his side conceded a third goal or whether his move towards Wayne Rooney's backside was not football related.

David Beckham to join AC Milan on loan

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Goldenballs goes to Italy The rumours have been about for a week or two, but I didn't expect them to materialise into anything. AC Milan have announced that they have confirmed an agreement to take David Beckham on loan from LA Galaxy at the end of the MLS season. Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani said: "Beckham has chosen [.

A pack of poo tickets

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Strewth! Those aren't tree trunks - those are crocs! var sid=315;var vid=17498;

Football videos: Brazilian goalkeeper thinks he is left-back. He’s not

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Keeping clanger from South America Was it not the great philosopher Ruud Gullit who once said: "Goalkeepers are goalkeepers because they can't play football"? The proof is in the pudding, so here is the goalkeeper of Brazilian Série B side Gama passing the ball out of defence last week. Spotted on The Offside

Football video: Richard Dunne’s comedy own goal against Newcastle

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Manchester City defender scores a cracker This beaut comes from Monday night's match between Newcastle and Manchester City. City's Richard Dunne very kindly gave Newcastle the lead with this excellent finish into his own net.

Fernando Torres plays dress up

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Liverpool star ponces around for Spanish department store Liverpool striker Fernando Torres has been routing through his dressing up box to help out Spanish chain El Corte Ingles. This video shows his advert for them. There is something quite disturbing about those gloves going on: "We will have to conduct a full cavity search I'm afraid, [.

No words from our sponsors

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No words - just the sound of a Nissan racing round the Nurburgring. If you like cars, give it a click. If you like Off The Post, give it a click - these ads keep the site alive. Thanks. var sid=315;var vid=17485;

Kitman: The Tottenham shirt for Arsenal fans

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Spurs visual gag #324668 You see what they did there? They took a Spurs shirt and they made a joke about Juande Ramos' side's lack of points. Very cruel. Quite funny.

Football lookalikes: Dimitar Berbatov and Bill Murray

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Hats off to Dimi. Manchester United are all at sea at the moment, or at least their training sessions look distinctly like a scene from The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (we thought that headbutting Frenchman had retired?). Spotted on The Spoiler

Football lookalikes: John Terry and Cornholio

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Are you threatening me? Thanks to Off The Post reader Per for sharing this beauty with us. Chelsea captain John Terry is the double of Beavis' alter ego Cornholio.

Tottenham rebel against Doctor Baby Food

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Let them eat cake Spurs players have taken their dislike of Juande Ramos' nutritional regime further by revolting against their baby food diet. Tottenham cakes are now the favoured snack at White Hart Lane. Apparently despite a tasty appearance, Tottenham cakes are quite hard to swallow and have left some fans with a bad taste in [.

Football video: New York Red Bulls keeper scores from his own half

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First down... goal! New York Red Bulls goalkeeper Danny Cepero bagged himself a Major League Soccerball Power Goal when he booted the ball in from his own half. Perhaps the opposition keeper was mesmerised by the numbers on the pitch (apparently they help guys in helmets with no sense of proportion, or something).

Sent-off for accidentally punching a team-mate

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Wycombe's Chris Zebroski should count to 10 before taking revenge There were crazy scenes in the Wycombe v Darlington match in League Two yesterday. With 15 minutes to play, Darlo's Tim Ryan headbutted young Wycombe striker Chris Zebroski. The 21-year-old picked himself up intent on revenge, but punched team-mate Matt Harrold by mistake.

Jeff Stelling and the Soccer Saturday gang celebrate James Brown’s goal for Hartlepool

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Jeff feels good You just don't get this sort of impartial reporting anywhere else! Jeff Stelling leads the Soccer Saturday team in a chorus of I Got You (I Feel Good) to celebrate James Brown's late winner for Hartlepool United yesterday. He then reveals that the singing puppet he once famously used to celebrate Brown's goals [.

Join the campaign to get Andy Cole’s Outstanding re-released

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Nottingham Forest fan wants veteran striker in the charts A Facebook campaign to get Nottingham Forest striker Andy Cole into the charts is in full swing. Cole released a garage remake of The Gap Band's Outstanding in 1999, but the song failed to break into the top 40. The group Lets Get Andy Cole Into The [.

Hard tackle: Carlos Alberto banned for eight matches for stroking opponent’s backside

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Pull your finger out, lad! Werder Bremen midfielder Carlos Alberto, currently on-loan at Brazilian outfit Botafogo, has picked up an eight-match ban for this loving caress of a Gremio player's rump. Quite why he decided to run his finger the length of an opponent's crack is up for debate, but the Brazilian authorities have deemed it [.

Tottenham players are hungry again (for food, not success)

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Spurs stars worried relegation is being handed to them on a plate Tottenham players are blaming their poor form on the strict dietary restrictions placed on them by manager Juande Ramos. The Sun reports that Spurs players believe a lack of food is sapping their energy during games. They quote one player as saying: "We're feeling hungry [.

Football video: Yossi Benayoun’s vicious foul on the Latvian coach

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A display of Israeli aggression Oh-oh! One for the bloopers reel, Yossi. Liverpool's bit-part winger's dugout homing instincts result in him taking a bit and a part out of Latvia coach Aleksandrs Starkovs. Spotted on The Beautiful Game

Football video: Gary Teale joins in a tribute song to himself while urinating

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Teale will tear you apart, just as soon as he has sobered up There would be something about a group of men chanting my name while I was trying to use the urinal that would put me off the matter in hand, I suspect. Not so for Derby County's Gary Teale. Here he is in his [...]

Sex scandal: Zimbabwe FA official sneaked players out of curfew for “naughty social episodes”

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You just don't get this sort of service from Lord Triesman The chief executive of the Zimbabwe Football Association Henrietta Rushwaya is at the centre of a sex scandal involving players, including Manchester City striker Benjani. Rushwaya is accused of forcing the national team coach Jose Claudinei Valinhos to release players from curfews during international meetings [.

Football videos: Lionel Messi licks the lid

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Some footballers still do cheesy (or milky) ads Barcelona star Lionel Messi proves that hefty wages and big sponsorship deals need not stop multi-millionaire footballers making prats of themselves in the name of earning a few extra Euros. Here is Messi endorsing his favourite yoghurt.

Football video: Liverpool’s Ryan Babel tries his hand at rapping

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He's the Liverpool star you bitches are loving! It is funny how a three-minute YouTube video can make you completely lose respect for someone you once admired as a talented footballer. This is Liverpool and Holland attacker Ryan Babel rocking the mic with a rap ballad about his rags to riches tale. Babel follows in the footsteps [.

Five Conclusions: Belarus 1-3 England

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12 from 12 for Fabio's boys 1. Wayne Rooney is Samson in reverse. His England goal drought is well and truly over. Keep that head bald and keep the goals coming, Wazza. 2. Steven Gerrard's international career is not over. That talk was brought on by a distinct lack of football news this week, methinks.

Grimbsy sack Martin Butler over commute

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Mike Newell saves Mariners striker some petrol money Grimsby striker Martin Butler has had his contract terminated because new boss Mike Newell was unimpressed with his travel arrangements. The 34-year-old made a 350-mile round trip from his Worcestershire home to Grimsby. The striker was often forced to miss training because or the long-haul commute.

Football video: Argentinian club president threatens to kill his players

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Proof that relegation is bad for your health Rosario Central president Horacio Usandizaga is not likely to win any Boss of the Year awards after he was secretly filmed making a speech in which he threatened to kill his club's players and coaching staff. The under-fire president came out with guns blazing (hopefully not too literally) as [.

Germany v Wales: They think the anthem’s over… it is now!

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Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau (extended remix) Just days after Off The Post brought you Harry and Paul's mickey take of obscure little countries with never-ending national anthems, and we spotted this happening in the real world. The Wales players think the anthem is over, the crowd cheers because they think it is over, the commentators think [.

Football video: Wayne Rooney’s beautiful goal against Belarus

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Is this really England? Belarus vs England Wayne Rooney 74″ A fantastic dummy run to lose his man, a superb pass by Steven Gerrard (yes, he of no England future), quick feet by Rooney and a wonderful finish. Colleen, give that head the once over before every England game, please. The best (successful) move by and England side [.

Hard Tackle: Colombia stretch each other’s groins

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South American nation's favourite bit of training How does your country's top players prepare for an international match? If you're Colombian, the answer is by standing between their team-mates legs and looking down longingly. Judge for yourself just how much Camilo Zuniga enjoys this exercise after the jump.

Belarus coach Bernd Stange is The Spy Who Came In From The Cold

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When scouting players gets personal! If you thought Vinnie Jones' long spell with Wimbledon's Crazy Gang followed by several appearances as a rough nut Cockney gangster made for a formidable CV, think again. Belarus coach Bernd Stange counts Saddam Hussein and the East German secret service among his former employers.

Dimitar Berbatov gets lazier, plays football on lawnmower

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Can Berba cut it at international level? Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov has not left his days of shirking behind at Tottenham. The 27-year-old has taken to training on a lawnmower while on international duty with Bulgaria. Rumours that Sir Alex Ferguson has ordered all players on international duty to ensure they rest on a piece [.

Ruud Gullit uncovers MLS conspiracy

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The MLS Files Ex-LA Galaxy coach Ruud Gullit has revealed that the evil geniuses behind Major League Soccer are deliberately keeping a lid on soccerball to avoid damaging true American sports. Comments made to Reuters about a Major League Soccer conspiracy have had some onlookers questioning the state of the former Dutch international's mental health.

10 Belarus claims to fame

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Ahead of tonight's clash with England, we give you the lowdown on all things Belarus 1. Alexander Hleb The former Arsenal man was a Gunners favourite (at least until he started shooting his mouth off about the club and making is very clear that he wanted to leave to join Barcelona. The midfielder is almost certainly ruled [.

Man in a corner shop nails Liverpool impressions

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Scouse shop talk This guy is superb. Quite why he is making a name for himself as a guy in a hoodie standing in front of a box of Cornflakes and not on the TV we don't know. He reels off some excellent impressions of Rafa Benitez, Steven "Yeerrrm" Gerrard, Jamie Carragher, Michael Owen and Peter [..

Roman Pavlyuchenko becomes a councillor

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Spurs striker dabbles in politics Roman Pavlyuchenko might not be the first name of the Tottenham Hotspur teamsheet at the moment but he is at Stavropol council. The newly-elected member will be sending his apologies to a lot of meetings! Residents of the Russian town of Stavropol obviously do not mind if their local councillors do not [.

UEFA have a dig at Sepp Blatter over racism

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The battle of the governing bodies FIFA has taken another kicking over its policy on racism, and this time it was their pals at UEFA taking a swipe at Sepp Blatter and co. The European governing body has revealed that the paltry fines handed out for racism at international matches would be considerably higher if they [.

It’s official: no, Didier Drogba isn’t thinking about the game

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Chelsea striker admits his mind wanders during the match If you have ever watched Didier Drogba and thought his mind wasn't really on the task in hand then you were spot on. The official spokesman for the Ivorian's wandering mind confirmed that he regularly loses concentration during matches. Drogba said: "It's funny because there are some times [.

Football Lookalikes: Marlon Harewood and Peperami

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Marlon Harewood - he's a bit of an animal Does that elongated, wrinkled forehead look familiar too you? Click Read More to log your support for Off The Post by watching a video from our sponsor Marlon Harewood Peperami.

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