Thought of this last night, forgot to put in the other post. Ever see "Glengarry Glen Ross"? Al Pacino is giving Jonathan Pryce the runaround about refunding his real estate check, when Kevin Spacey barges in and totally blows it for him. Pryce scampers the hell out, and Pacino gives Spacey a death stare [...] Click to continue reading...

I don't know why people say the Galaxy are in trouble. All they have to do to get back to first place is to go unbeaten and untied in the month of September, while every other team in the West has all their other games cancelled. Piece of cake. Were the Galaxy to roll [...] Click to continue reading...

Like in Nabokov. Except this time, the twelve-year-old being molested is the Galaxy. I got back to the internets last night, and thought "Wow, they sure are excited about Chris Klein for some reason. And poor Pete is getting freaking ROASTED!" For you see, from my corner seat, I had credited the bike [...] Click to continue reading...

DLSIA WORLDWIDE BREAKING EXCLUSIVE at least for the moment. David Beckham will soon own a hair-replacement clinic. He might also own a small liberal talk radio station in Los Angeles. And I'm so on top of this story, you're reading it here before Beckham himself knows about it. Oh, you know you want to click "Read the [...] Click to continue reading...

David Freaking Beckham both will and will not play tomorrow against Pachuca. Click to continue reading...

So I'm cruising soccerpubs.com and bigsoccer.com and such trying to find pictures of Chicago wearing their different uniforms over the weekend, and trying to see if Kansas City did anything different for Turn Back The Clock Night. It apparently wasn't Sting v. Comets, but the only difference I've seen so far were the Fire [...] Click to continue reading...

Peter Wilt is heading up the Chicago team for the new women's pro league. It takes more than one successful team to make a league - right, Cosmos fans? - but if the other teams are anywhere near as capably guided, WSII is going to make it. Click to continue reading...

If you want to know why I haven't updated you on how my fantasy teams are doing, check out these match reports, which also double as convenient Galaxy fan suicide notes. Click to continue reading...

But congratulations to Mia and Julie anyway. Click to continue reading...

See, when you're on a horrible team when the coach is doomed, that's actually the time you need to play better. The new coach doesn't have any reason to keep you, and in fact has a lot of reason to make an example out of you. After all, your crummy play got the [...] Click to continue reading...

1. Toronto FC: TFC by Barenaked Ladies. They did that one song. They also did the adorable "If I Had a Million Dollars." Considering the source, unsurprisingly sickeningly catchy. They didn't work terribly hard on the lyrics, but compared to the other songs here, it's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Fourth [...] Click to continue reading...

Du Nord's been all over this, and Michael Lewis has the excellent article. Click to continue reading...

I'm watching the US-Finland game now. Wow, how did I get internet access from the Home Depot Center? Yeah, no. I know, it's a local game, and I should Support the Side. But, well, it's on TV. And my soccer income was wasted on Galaxy games this month. I [...] Click to continue reading...

People said the Hubbell Telescope was a waste of money, but it's getting some cool shots of the US-Tunisia game. You could almost read the names on the back of the jerseys! Apparently we're not doing so well this tournament. Maybe we should have sent players instead of tiny white dots. Click to continue reading...

If you're like me, and I know I am, the only thing you enjoy more than your team doing well is a team you hate doing badly. The wailing, the rage, the melancholy, the despair -few things in life are more delightful than a rival's pain. Click to continue reading...

Now that Jaime Moreno has broken Kreis' all-time MLS scoring record (congrats), and seeing that Ante Razov will probably do the same either this year or next, it's interesting to note how little MLS records seem to matter. Click to continue reading...

Why do I watch the US men's national team play Scandinavian teams? Why does anyone? Women's national team, fine. (Although I dunno how much of a fight Finland's gonna put up this weekend.) But every US-Vikingstan game always turns out to be a colossal waste of time, and yes, I am [...] Click to continue reading...

I've harped on this, but the premise that the US needs today's Sweden game, or in fact any more games this year, is ridiculous. The 2010 World Cup will not be won this morning in Sweden. Out of the MLS players Bradley called up, only Bornstein is anything remotely resembling an unknown quantity [...] Click to continue reading...

How I Learned About The Games I Didn't Watch. 66,000, and you could still hear ESC obscenities. Good work, guys! Click to continue reading...

I should have put some thought into this earlier. Sorry, I was preoccupied. The best solution for fans shouting racial epithets is street justice from other fans. Were I to pull such a stunt, for example, I would almost certainly need a series of emergency crap transfusions, on account of my existing crap having [...] Click to continue reading...