Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2017

Tottenham Announce Huge New Kit Deal With Nike, Home And Away Shirts Both Leaked (Photo & Video)

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Image: @SpursOfficial/Twitter

After fiveseasons with Under Armour upon their breast, Tottenham have today announced the club have signed a bumper deal with Nike to providetheir togs for the next severalyears.

The "multi-year" contract will reportedly net Spurs around £30million per annum, which is three times more lucrative than their previous kit supply arrangement was worth.

Inter Milan Winger Ivan Perisic Makes Professional Beach Volleyball Debut (Photos & Video)

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Photo: @Coral/Twitter

Rather than spending his summer holiday gadding about in Miami or Dubai or lounging around on some oligarch's yacht, Ivan Perisic has instead opted to use his time away from football make his full international professional beach volleyball debut.

The Inter Milan winger, who is said to be a 'person of interest' as far asManchester United are concerned, has been representing Croatia at thePorec Major event in his native country all week.

Official: Huddersfield Shatter Transfer Record To Sign Aaron Mooy On Permanent Deal (Photo)

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Photo: @htafcdotcom/Twitter

Huddersfield Town havebegun gearingup for their first ever season in the Premier League by obliterating their transfer record to sign Aaron Mooy on a permanent deal.

The 26-year-old bald bullet, who spent last season on loan at the John Smith's Stadium, has signed from Man City in an £8million deal that could rise to £10million should certain "additional contingencies" come into play.

Northern Ireland: Belfast Rivals Linfield And Crusaders Both Claim To Have Signed The Same Player

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Photo: York City

The man you see afore ye is Josh Robinson and we'd love to tell you who he plays for but frankly we haven't got a clue.

The 24-year-old defender spent last season in the National League with York City but has now sealed a move back to his native Northern Ireland although with whom is anybody's guess.

Disgruntled Everton Fan Lists Romelu Lukaku ‘For Sale’ In Classified Section Of Liverpool Echo (Photo)

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Already one of the close-season's most tedious transfer yarns, the immediate projected career trajectory of one Romelu Lukaku only promises to get more and more cortex-numbing as the summer drags on.

He might stay at Everton, he might end up back at Chelsea, he might stray off into parts unknown, but it's the fact that Lukaku and his agent refuse to commit either way that has begun to chafe with the Goodison faithful.

Confederations Cup: Germany Thump Mexico 4-1 To Cruise Into Final (Video)

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Germany's second-string side eased into the final of the Confederations Cup on Thursday, after battering Mexico 4-1 in Sochi.

Despite leaving most his his first teamers at home, German boss Jogi Loew still has a plethora of talent at his disposal andthey proved too strong for the Mexican.

Official: Jermain Defoe, 34, Rejoins Bournemouth On Rather Large Three-Year Contract

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Jermain Defoe has officially rejoined Bournemouth, 16 years after first signing for the club as a teenager on a season-long loan from West Ham.

The transferwas struck back in May, but the Cherries had to allow Defoe's Sunderland contract to expire before rubber-stamping the whole hoo-ha.

The 34-year-old has signed a three-year deal worth around £20million in wages, which is pretty darn steep for a man approaching middle-age.

Classic Moments: Claudio Bravo Scores Match-Winning Freekick For Real Sociedad, 2010 (Video)

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Photo: Pablo Gomez (via Mundo Deportivo)

After becoming something of a punchline for his error-strewn handling at Man City last season, Claudio Bravo gave his flagging reputation a much-needed shot in the arm with a heroic display at the end ofChile's tenseknock-outvictory over Portugal in the Confederations Cup.

‘We Can’t Pay €100m For 28-Year-Olds’ – Bayern Munich President Uli Hoeness Effectively Rules Out Move For Alexis Sanchez

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Bayern Munich presidentUli Hoeness has effectively ruled theclub out of the running to sign Alexis Sanchez this summer, declaring that the Bundesliga champions can't afford to go spendingsilly moneyon players thatare knocking on 30 years of age.

Bayern have already squirrelled away four new signings since the end of the season, with Corentin Tolisso, Serge Gnabry, Niklas Sule and Sebastian Rudy all joining the flock.

Confederations Cup: Claudio Bravo Saves Three Penalties As Chile Beat Portugal In Semi-Final Shootout (Video)

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Claudio Bravo may have endured a difficult season in the Premier League with Manchester City, but on the international stage the experienced 'keeper continues to star for Chile.

In Wednesday night's Confederations Cup semi-final against European champions Portugal, the 34-year-old was the star of the show in the penalty shoot-out, saving all three penalties and thus booking his side's place in the final.

Celtic Manager Brendan Rodgers Fields His Son In Pre-Season Friendly Against Austrian Side BW Linz

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Many Celtic fans were puzzled to see a new, unfamiliar name on the teamsheet for Wednesday's pre-season friendly against Austrian side BW Linz.

Actually, perhaps 'unfamiliar' isn't an entirely accurate description, as the surname in question was one shared bytheir manager, Brendan Rodgers.

Modern Football Is Rubbish: New St. Mirren Shirt Allows Fans To Add ‘Cub Scout’ Badges For Having Season Tickets, Travelling To Away Games, Etc (Photo & Video)

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St Mirren have proudly announced a pioneering new scheme that will allow fans to add their own 'cub scout' style badges to their new home jersey.

The brainchild of shirt manufacturers Joma, Buddies fanswill be able to iron on little gold badges for things like being a season ticket holder, being a member of the supporters' group and 'knowing the club's history'.

Net Loss: Paolo Maldini To Quit Professional Tennis After One Game After Suffering Heavy Debut Defeat

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Having had a stellar, trophy-laden football career with AC Milan, Paolo Maldini sadly couldn't convert his success on the field to the court.

In fact, the evergreen Italian's tennis carrer has lasted just one game afterhe took a serious thrashing in the first round of his first ever professional tournament.

Farewell Scott Parker: Mr Meat And Potatoes Announces Retirement At Grand Old Age Of 36

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After two decadesat the coal face, Scott Parker has announced his retirement from professional football today.

Three months shy of his 37th birthday, Parker has bowed out after being restricted tojust 12 Championship starts for Fulham last season.

BREAKING: Former @England midfielder Scott Parker announces retirement from football.

Better Call Saúl: Ñíguez Nets Slick Hat-Trick Against Italy To Fire Spain Into Euro U21 Final (Video)

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Spain have undoubtedly been the stand-out side in this summer's European U21 Championship, and in Tuesday's semi-final clash with Italy, Atletico Madrid midfielderSaúl Ñíguez netting a sweet hat-trick.

All the goals came in the second-half, with Níguez opening the scoring on 53 minutes, via a smart finish after a trademark passing move.

‘Today Is The End Of Our Relationship’ – Dani Alves Confirms Juventus Exit With Honest, Self-Penned Farewell Message

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With a move to Man City purported to be in the offing, Dani Alves has confirmed that he has left Juventus after just one largely successful season with the Turin-ians.

The 34-year-old Brazilian posted a heartfelt farewell message on his Instagram account, thanking everybody at Juve for making the last year of his career such an enjoyable one.

Official-ish: Everton Complete £7m Deal For Teenage Prodigy Henry Onyekuru (Photo)

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Photo: @c.henry21/Instagram

Everton have sealed adeal to sign prodigious 19-year-old forward Henry Onyekuru from Belgian side KAS Eupen.

Not so very long ago it was reported that Arsenal were within a whisker of getting him on board, but Onyekuru has today posted a photo of himself standing in front of Everton livery on his official Instagram account.

‘The Rumours Are False’ – Anthony Martial Puts Emphatic Kibosh On Reports He’s Asked To Leave Man Utd

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Aftermustering just nine goals in a sullensecond season at Manchester United, word had been rife this week that Anthony Martial was preparing to up sticks in search of a fresh start elsewhere.

The Express, among others, reported that Martial was putting out the feelers over a return to France after becoming weary ofworking under Jose Mourinho, and that United wouldn't block his exit should a transfer materialise.

Porto Director Claims Benfica Executives Spent €150,000 On ‘Tribal Witchcraft’ To Win Champions League Match

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Benfica are currently in the midst of an ongoing investigation into alleged corruption at the Lisbonclub.

Among many things, Benfica have been accused of 'spying' on the phone of Fernando Gomes, the president of the Portuguese Football Federation.

The accusations were levelledby Porto's communications director, Francisco Marques, who, according to Record,claimed to have seen an email exchange sent between Benfica executive Pedro Guerra andCarlos Deus Pereira,the former president of the LPFP(basically, the Portuguese equivalent of the Premier League board) during which the latter provided the former with 'content' from Gomes' text messages.

Reports: Kostas Manolas No-Shows Zenit Medical After Inserting Unusual Pay Demand Into Negotiations

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Roma defender Kostas Manolas has been on the brink of completing a £30million move to Zenit St. Petersburg for a couple of days now but, alas, the move has hit a stumbling block.

The Greek international centre-half has a five-year contract offer on the table and was due to undergo a medical in Rome on Wednesday, only to pull a no-show at the Villa Stuart clinic.

Euro U21 Championship: England Lose To Germany On Penalties In Semi-Final (Video)

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It's happened again! England have found themselves on the wrong end of a penalty shootout defeat to Germany, this time in Tuesday's European U21 Championship semi-final inPoland.

Aidy Boothroyd's side started brightlybut as the first-half wore on, Germany started to dominate and eventually tookcontrol via a Devie Selke header on 35 minutes.

Man City: Gabriel Jesus Looks Supremely Awkward While Dancing On Crutches In Brazilian Music Video

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Not so very long ago, Gabriel Jesus was invited to make a special guest appearance in the video of anew Brazilian pop banger.

Sadly however, MC Nego Blue managed to time the shoot for his 'É Gol' video to coincide withthe Man City striker knackering his metatarsal.

Alas, the show must go on crutches or no crutches.

League One: Shrewsbury Town Become First English Football Club To Apply For Safe Standing Zone

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Shrewsbury Town have become the first English football club to apply to install a safe standing zone at their stadium.

The League Oneside have submitted a proposal to the FA to remove around 555 seats from the terraces at Greenhous Meadow and replace them with approximately 400 'rail seats'.

Norwegian Shirt Tug Of The Season: Tromso’s Thomas Olsen Drags Sandefjord Midfielder Pau Morer Along Like Husky Pulling A Sled (Video)

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After opening the scoring in the very first minute, Sandefjord midfielder Pau Morer probably thought his afternoon had peaked early.

Little did the young Spaniard know that he was about to have the most fun he's ever likely to have on a football field.

After being beaten for pace by Tromso forward Thomas Lehne Olsen, the unbalanced Morer grabbed a handful of shirt and proceeded to be dragged along the ground for several metres like a human dog-sled.

Tottenham: Victor Wanyama Has Tanzanian Street Named After Him Only For Sign To Be Removed Less Than 24 Hours Later

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Tottenham midfielder Victor Wanyama received a wonderful civic honour during his close-season trip to Tanzania where he had a street named after him.

On the day of his 26th birthday, the Kenyan posted a video on Instagram of him standing beneath the sign for the newly-rechristened 'V. Wanyama Street' in the Ubungo district of Dar es Salaam.

De Boer War: Crystal Palace Get Frank Mixed Up With Ronald While Welcoming Their New Manager (Photo)

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By Joseph Viney

In the rush to announce new signings, managers and other news over social media, football clubs can perhaps be forgiven for getting a few minor details wrong here and there.

However, in the case of Crystal Palace theywent and announced the wrong man entirely for their newly-filled managerial spot.

Mexico: Half-Time Brawl Between Club America And Pumas Fans Brings Abrupt End To Legends Charity Match (Video)

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By Joseph Viney

Image: @somoslamente/Twitter

A mass brawl between supporters put paid to a legends game out in California in an incident that seriously stretched the meaning of the word "friendly".

In a contest designed to raise awareness, support and a little cash for the United Soccer Talents Foundation, heavyweightMexican teams Club America and Pumas staged an exhibition match that soon descended into something Vince McMahon and his oily boys would be proud of.

England 1-2 Iceland: Celebrating The One-Year Anniversary Of Steve McClaren Making Himself Look Like A Right Prat (Video)

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Image: Sky Sports

Today marks the one-year anniversary of what just might be the absolute nadir of the England national team in a decade or so positively crammed full of them.

We are of course talking about the Three Lions' moribund, gutless, and utterly galling performance against Iceland in the group stages of Euro 2016.

Chinese Super League: Turkish Striker Burak Yilmaz Slaps Opponent In Face After Yet Another Ugly Brawl (Video)

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Embed from Getty Images

Coming on the back of the recent Oscar-inspired 50-man brawl, the Chinese Super League has once again seen some more bad behaviour, this time courtesy of Turkish strikerBurak Yilmaz.

DuringBeijing Guoan's goalless draw with Fabio Capello's Jiangsu Suning, another major brawl ignited, with Yilmaz slapping an opponent in the face and ultimately copping a straight red card.

Official: Crystal Palace Get Frank De Boer On Board As New Head Coach (Photo)

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Photo: @CPFC/Twitter

It's done. Frank de Boer is the new head coach of Crystal Palace and will be, all being well, for the next three years.

The Dutchmanwas sworn in on what Palace called a 'historic day' for the club, being that they also revealed their brand new shirt sponsor a Chinese betting company, you might have guessed.

Fumata Bianca: Crystal Palace Hint At Frank De Boer Appointment With Inventive ‘Papal Smoke’ Tweet (Video)

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Crystal Palace have hinted at the imminent appointment of a new head coach by utilising some bang on-trend religious imagery.

With Frank de Boer reportedly waiting in the wings, the club took a leaf out of the Vatican City's book alerting the faithful by sending white plumes of smoke into the air above Selhurst Park.

Paris FC: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Plays Alongside Father In Post-Season Friendly Match (Photo)

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Photo: Paris FC

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang was eyeballedin Paris over the weekend, though it transpired the Dortmund striker was only in town to take part in a friendly.

The 28-year-old turned out for Paris FC specifically the Ligue 2 club's annual post-season match against amateur side Gauchy Grugie Biette.

Brazil: Flamengo’s Paolo Guerrero Harnesses The Force To Send Bahia Defender Lucas Fonseca Flying From Several Feet Away (Video)

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"Good, good. Let the hate flow through you"

Bahia defender Lucas Fonseca managed to get himself sent-off in the early stages of his side's 0-1 defeat against Flamengo on Sunday, and in utterly ridiculous circumstances.

Having already been booked just moments before, Fonseca went leaping in on Flamengo striker Paolo Guerrero, leaving a sneaky foot in at hip height.

112 Years And Counting: Boca Juniors Install Giant Clock At La Bombonera Displaying The Last Time They Were Relegated (As In Never!)

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Boca Juniors formally wrapped uptheir 32nd Argentinian championship on Sunday eveningwith a 2-1 win over Sante Fe in their final game of the campaign.

As you might imagine, La Bombonera erupted at the final whistleas fans celebrated the title amid a cacophony of flares, streamers and flashing lights.

Bristol City Vow To Investigate After Oxford United Label Discovered Stitched Into New Away Shirt (Photo)

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Photo: @Bristol_Sport/Twitter

Bristol City's owners have vowed to investigate after a rather significant production flaw was discovered inside one of their new replica shirts.

Matthew Gillett recently took receipt of his gaudy purple and lime pre-order jerseyonly to find it had arogue Oxford United label stitched inside.

‘He Is Mr Liverpool, But Senegal Is Much Bigger’ – El-Hadji Diouf Has Yet Another Pop At Steven Gerrard

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Diouf picks up his trophy for being 'Mr Best Man In Senegal' or some such nonsense

There's an'e' in the month so of course El-Hadji Diouf has levelled another of his fiendishly wry barbs at ex-Liverpool teammate Steven Gerrard.

Since leaving Anfield to little fanfare in 2005, Diouf has intermittently continued to chastise his former colleague for being overrated, egocentric, deluded, etc, etc (presenting Exhibits A, B, C, D, E, and F) without the merest hint of irony.

Confederations Cup: Kerem Demirbay Nets Cracker On Full Debut For Germany v Cameroon (Video)

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Kerem Demirbay scored a fabulous goal on Sunday, during Germany's 3-1 Confederations Cup win against Cameroon.

Demirbaywas making only his second appearance for the German senior side, and his first start. However, the Hoffenheim midfielder has already made his mark, courtesy of the opening goal in the second-half against Cameroon.

Paul Pogba Actually Scores Goal With Dab During Juan Cuadrado Foundation Charity Match (Video)

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Paul Pogba assembleda team of chums to play against a Juan Cuadrado Select XI in an exhibitionmatch in Medellin, Colombia on Saturday evening, with all the proceeds going to the latter's charitable foundation.

The game shall perhaps be forever remembered as the moment Pogba's 'dab' celebration jumped the shark, with the Manchester United midfielder actually using his special trademark flourish to score a goal at one point.

MLS: Ref Rescinds Red Card After Honest Philadelphia Player Defends Opponent’s Challenge (Video)

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In a rather uncommon show of honesty, a red card was rescinded during DC United's MLS clash with Philadelphia Union after opposition players defended the actions of the sent off player.

The heart-warming incident happened in the second-half of the game, when DC United's Luciano Acosta was given a straight red after a tangle withHaris Medunjanin on the sideline.

Confederations Cup: Bizarre Route One Goal Sees Mexico Beat Russia And Book Place In Semi-Finals (Video)

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Embed from Getty Images

Mexico came from behind to beat Russia 2-1 in their Confederations Cup Group A clash on Saturday, a result which sees the victors progress to the semi-finals and the hosts crash out of the competition.

The winning goal came courtesy ofHirving Lozano and it was quite something.

Official: Liverpool Snap Up Mohamed Salah For £34m On Five-Year Deal (Photos)

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Mohamed Salah has completed his move to Liverpool, with the Roma winger costing the Reds £34m.

The Egyptian attacker joins on a a five-year-deal after weeks of speculation about the move.

Salah initially moved to England in 2013, joining Chelsea from Swiss side Basel. However, the 25-year-old struggled to make his mark with the Blues, netting just two goals in 19 appearances over two season.

Moise Kean: Juventus May Lose Prodigious 17-Year-Old On Free Transfer After Reneging On Deal To Buy His Dad A Tractor

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Juventus run the risk of watchingpromising forwardMoise Kean leave on a freebie if the Serie A champions don't stump up the fleet of agricultural equipment they promised to the player's father.

Back in February, Kean, 17, became the first player born post-millennium to play a senior gamein any of Europe's top leagues, then subsequently became the first player born post-2000 to score in a 'big five' match when he notched the winner in Juve's final game of the season a 2-1 win over Bologna in May.

Arsenal And Chelsea Agree To Donate £1.25m Community Shield Match Fee To Grenfell Tower Charity Fund

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Both Arsenal and Chelsea have agreed to donate every penny of their Community Shieldmatch fee to the victims of the Grenfell Tower tragedy.

More than 70 people are presumed to have been killed in the blaze, which engulfed a tower block just three miles across west London from Chelsea's stadium.

Rejoice People, For Leyton Orient Are Finally Under New Ownership After Three Years Of Abject Misery!

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Photo: Press Association

After suffering through three years of rudderless misrule under Francesco Becchetti, Leyton Orient are finally finally! under new ownership.

In just three short seasons, self-anointed president Becchetti managed to guideThe O's from the League One play-off final to, as of the culmination of the 2016/17 campaign, relegation from the Football League entirely via failed reality television shows, financial mismanagement, chronic under-funding, unpaid wages, frequent issues with HMRC, thephysical assaultof staff, the public insultingof fans, etc, etc.

Southampton: Ex-Liverpool Centre-Half Mauricio Pellegrino Named As New Saints Boss

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Southampton have named Mauricio Pellegrino as their new manager on a three-year contract. The move comes after Claude Puel was sacked by Saints earlier this month.

45-year-old Pellegrino moves to Southampton a month after leaving La Liga club Alaves, who he steered to a Spanish Cup final appearance against Barcelona and a ninth-place finish in the league.

Bovine Intervention: Escaped Cow Interrupts Play During Bulgarian Amateur League Match (Video)

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Image: Sportal

Hands up, we have absolutely no information to offer you here other than the following game took place in Bulgaria at some point in the recent past.

Oh, and proceedings had to be stopped for several minutes while an escaped cow lolloped its way across the pitch and back.

Confederations Cup: Mexico And New Zealand Brawl Leads To VAR Confusion (Video)

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Mexico came from behind to beat New Zealand 2-1 in Wednesday night's Confederations Cup clash, but the big drama of the night came late on, courtesy of a major brawl and some ineffective use of VAR.

Leeds hitman, Chris Woods, had given New Zealand a surprise lead before second-half goals fromRaul Jimenez and Oribe Peralta kept Mexico on course for the semi-finals.

Chinese Under-20 National Team To Play In German Fourth Division Next Season

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Plans are being hatched that will allow the China Under-20 national team to play in the fourth division of German football as of next season.

Yes, you did read that correctly.

According to Kicker, the Chinese youngster will be added tothe Regionalliga Südwest for 2017/18 to round up the odd number of teams in the league.

Retro Football: 10 Glorious Minutes Of Zinedine Zidane Dribbling, Swerving And Leaving Suckers In The Dust (Video)

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Largely because there's bugger all else going on this morning, we thought we'd provide you with a welcome break from the close-season monotony.

To that end, here is a 10-minute slab of Zinedine Zidane-flavoured goodness, highlighting the former Juventus and Real Madrid midfielder's masterful control and footwork.

Chinese Super League: Oscar Handed Eight-Game Suspension For ‘Offending Opponents In An Immoral Manner’ By Sparking Multi-Man Brawl

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Oscar has been handed a huge suspension for his part in the multi-man scuffle that brought a halt to Shanghau SIPG's game against Guangzhou on Sunday.

The wee Brazilian sparked a mass shove-a-thon when he belted the ball at two different opposing players and then lay on the ground for five minutes pretending to be injured.

The FA Terminate Partnership With ‘Official Bookmakers’ Ladbrokes As Part Of New Stance On Gambling Promotion

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Image: Ladbrokes

The FA have ended their sponsorship deal with Ladbrokes after finally twigging that it might not be entirely justifiablefor an organisation that is attempting to curbfootball's reliance on bookmakers to continue accepting commercial favoursfrom an 'official betting partner'.

Serie A: Stephan El Shaarawy Bemused As Feyenoord Fans Troll Roma Forward

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Roma attacker Stephan El Shaarawy has found himself on the end of some rather strange online trolling from Feyenoord fans.

The Italian international has been left rather bemused by the plethora of messages he has received 'welcoming' him to Feyenoord, even though he has no plans to join the Dutch club.

Arsenal ‘Activate’ New 2017/18 Home Kit – Red With White Sleeves, In Case You Were Wondering (Photos)

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Photo: @Arsenal/Instagram

Arsenal have revealed their new 2017/18 home kit and, honest to goodness, you'd be hard-pressed to notice.

The strip was officially unveiledas part of a "live activation" at Kings Cross station on Wednesday morning, with Robert Pires and Martin Keown showing up to do the honours.

Shit Lookalikes: Roberto Firmino & The New Ken (Of ‘Barbie’ Fame) Doll

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WithBarbieapproaching her 60th birthday, Mattel have launched a new phalanxof on-trend Ken dolls fit for the 21st century.

That is to say, the new Kens come in a variety of skin tonesandhave cornrows and man buns, etc.

Indeed, we couldn't help but noticing that 'Fashionista' Ken bears a certain resemblance to Liverpool's very own top-knotted, fluoro-toothed hipster.

Electric Atmosphere: Algerian Cup Tie Illuminated By Massive Fireworks Display In Building Next To Stadium (Video)

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To say the atmosphere was raucous during the Algerian Cup tie between CR Belouzidad and USM Bel Abbes on Monday night is to do it a major disservice.

Indeed,the two sides played out a thrilling 0-0 draw amid a cacophonous din as fans chanted in unison and an entire barrage of fireworks and pyrotechnics were released from the tower block overlooking the stadium, illuminating the pitch in showers of red and green sparks.

Bayern Munich Replace English Fan’s 21-Year-Old Mug After Original Became Too ‘Faded And Cracked’ To Use (Photos)

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Photo: @jim_entwhistle/Twitter

After over two decadesof loyal service, English football fan Jim Entwhistle was finally forced to retire his beloved Bayern Munich mug recently after finally accepting that the old galjust wasn't up to snuff anymore.

A week or so ago, Jim a Nottingham Forest fan by trade took to social mediato broadcast the bad news, tweeting: "After 20+ years of service, 1000s of brews, I'm retiring the Bayernmug.

Japan: SRC Hiroshima Players Applaud One And Only Fan Who Travelled 300 Miles To Watch 6-0 Drubbing (Photos)

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Photo: @fukagasista/Twitter

After squeaking through the first round of theEmperor's Cup, Japanese fifth-tier side SRC Hiroshima found themselves pitted against second-tier Nagoya Grampus in the second.

Unfortunately, what might have been a plum home time for the minnows turned out to be a bit of a sparse affair after Grampus were drawn as hosts.

Euro U21 Championship: Portuguese Winger Bruma Nets Sumptuous Volley v Spain (Video)

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Embed from Getty Images

Tuesday evening's Euro U21 Iberian derby saw Spain beat Portgual 3-1 to book their place in the semi-finals.

However, in a game full of very good goals, substitute Bruma would net the best of the bunch courtesy of a superb late consolation effort.

Atletico Madrid midfielder Saúl Ñíguez opened the scoring on 21 minutes for the Spanish, after a fine solo run.

Ricky Alvarez Debacle Reaches Conclusion: Sunderland Forced To Pay £9m For Transfer That Never Actually Happened

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The man you see afore you is Ricky Alvarez and, quite frankly, we'd forgive even the staunchest Sunderland fan for not recalling his ill-fated stint at the Stadium of Light.

The spindly Argentinian attacking midfielder signed on a season-long deadline day loan from Inter Milan in August 2014 and went on to make just five Premier League starts for the Black Cats, scoring precisely zero goals and offering pretty much nothing for the duration.

Reports: Dani Alves ‘Verbally Agrees’ To Join Man City, Currently Negotiating Juventus Exit

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It may have come ever so slightly out of the blue, but it looks like Dani Alves will be moving to Man City in the very near future.

Alves only joined Juventus last summer and spent an incredibly successful year at the Serie A champions, endearing himself to fans while defying naysayers who cited his advancing years as a reason to be cautious.

Just Like A Player: Madonna’s 11-Year-Old Son To Join Benfica Junior Academy

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Madonna's son is set to join the Benfica youth academy. Make of that what tou will.

According to the Mail on Sunday, Madonna's 11-year-old adopted son David Banda has accepted an invitation to play for Benfica Juniors.

As such, Madge is planning to "uproot her family" from their home in New York and relocate to the Portuguese capital over 3,000 miles away.

Serie A: Crotone Manager Keeps Promise To Cycle Entire Length Of Italy After Team Avoid Relegation (Photo)

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Back in May, it looked like the writing was scrawled large on the wall for FC Crotone, with their debut season in Serie A looking all but certain to end in relegation.

So certain was coach Davide Nicola that his side would be jettisoned back to the second tie that he vowed to cycle the entire length of Italy if they managed to stay up.

Fortuna Koln Offer Lifetime Supply Of Beer In Hope Of Luring Cristiano Ronaldo To German Third Division

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As you've probably heard, there is (highly spurious) word that Cristiano Ronaldo might just be on the market this summerhaving fallen out of love with the Real Madrid experience.

Of course, these whispers have sparked fervour among the elite European clubs, many of whom are now working behind the scenes to ascertain just how viable the prospect of luring Ronaldo into their midst would actually be.

‘We Were Expecting Someone Glamorous’ – New Melbourne City Coach Warren Joyce Receives Excruciatingly Cold Reception From Local Press (Video)

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Melbourne City have a new manager, and that man is Warren Joyce and it would appear that Melbourne City fans aren't overly excited.

Indeed, the former Wigan boss received arather surly 'welcome' from local journalistsafter being unveiled by City on Monday morning.

Come the very first question in his very first press conference, the 52-year-old was confronted with this ice cold passive-aggressivebarb:

Warren, a lot of people were expecting a big name, glamorous, well known manager and you arrived.

26-Year-Old Factory Worker Snags Pro Deal With Stevenage To Become First Graduate Of Jamie Vardy’s Non-League Academy

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A 26-year-old factory worker from Leicesterhas become the first non-league player to earn himself a professional contract through Jamie Vardy's new academy.

Vardy set up his V9 academy with the specific aim of providing a launch pad for promisingnon-league talent, just as he rose from earning £30-a-week atStocksbridge Park Steelsto lifting thePremier League trophyin the space of six meteoric and still scarcely believable years.

New Balls Please: Milan Legend Paulo Maldini Qualifies For Professional Tennis Tournament (Photos)

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Not only blessed with movie star looks and a jam-packed trophy cabinet, Paulo Maldini has now qualified for a professional tennis tournament in Italy.

The 48-year-old enjoyed an incredible career with AC Milan, picking up just the seven Serie A titles along with five Champions League successes in his record 902 appearances for the Rossoneri.

Euro U21 Championship: Angry Italy Fans Throw Fake Money At Milan Teen Donnarumma (Video)

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Milan's goalkeeping prodigyGianluigi Donnarumma found himself the target of angry Rossoneri fans during Italy's Euro U21 Championship clash with Denmark on Sunday.

The 18-year-old made his debut for Milan at just 16-years of age and has established himself as one of the hottest goalkeeping talents in the game.

U21 Euro Championship: Superb Spain Net Selection Of Stunners In 5-0 Drubbing Of Macedonia (Video)

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Spain's supremely gifted youngsters produced a super display of attacking in their European Championship U21 clash with Macedonia on Saturday.

Real Madrid starlet Marco Asensio netted a fabulous hat-trick but it was Atletico midfielder Saul Niguez who opened the scoring via a fantastic overhead kick on 10 minutes

Six minutes later, Asencio got his first of the game, producing an exquisite long-range finish after Everton's Gerard Deulofeu saw his initial effort blocked.

Chinese Super League: Ex-Chelsea Star Oscar Sparks Outrageous 50-Man Brawl (Video)

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Ex-Chelsa midfielder Oscar found himself in the middle of a massive brawl duringShanghai SIPG's clash withGuangzhou R&F at the weekend.

The baby-faced Brazilian lashed the ball straight into not one, but two Guangzhou players in retaliation for a challenge on a team-mate.

Boca Juniors: Slightly Concerning Footage Proves La Bombonera Actually ‘Rocks’ On Matchdays (Video)

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It's well-versedin footballing lorethat Boca Juniors' erstwhile stadium, La Bombonera, is said to 'rock' on matchdays.

Indeed, the relentless pogo-ingof the ever-bombasticsupporters atop the terraces cause a certain amount of sway.

However,Planet Boca have posted a snippet of slightly worrying footage recorded during a recent match that shows an entire stand coming away from the wall as it undulates back and forth.

Premier League New-Boys Brighton Sign Valencia ‘Keeper Mathew Ryan For ‘Club Record Fee’

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Ahead of their debut season in the Premier League, Brighton & Hove Albion have snapped up Australian goalkeeper Mathew Ryan from La Liga side Valencia on a five-year-deal.

While the fee itself has yet to be disclosed, the Seagulls have confirmed that it's a club-record figure for the 25-year-old 'keeper.

Bayern Munich Unveil Daring New Club Logo, Their Bavarian Lozenges Have Never Looked So Good (Photo)

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Image: @danielnyari/Twitter

Bayern Munich have officially unveiled a brand new club logo and yes, you're looking at it.

Up there (on the right) is the daring new sigilunder which the Bavarian behemoths will play as of next season.

The obsolete crest is on the left.

From now on you will be seeing a new FC Bayern logo.

Official: Ajax Captain Davy Klaassen Signs For Everton In £23.6m Deal (Photo)

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Everton have signed Ajax captainDavy Klaassen for £23.6million on a five-year deal.

The move comes after the Toffees had secured the services of Sunderland goalkeeper, Jordan Pickford, for a record-breaking £25m.

The 24-year-old Klassen made 163 appearances for Ajax, winning three league titles with the Dutch giants.

Noel Gallagher Invites French Policeman Who Sung ‘Don’t Look Back In Anger’ Before England Friendly To Upcoming Gig In Paris

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Noel Gallagher has issued a VIP invite to the Republican Guard Military Band member who performed 'Don't Look Back In Anger' before England's recent friendly against France in Paris.

Jean-Michel Mekil dug out his Fender Stratocaster and performed the Oasis standard as a moving tribute to all those who died in the Manchester terror attack on May 22nd.

‘Don’t Worry Leicester, We’ll Take Care Of Him’ – FC Nantes (Finally) Swear In Claudio Ranieri As New Head Coach

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Photo: @FCNantes/Twitter

Claudio Ranieri has sidestepped that odd bit of Ligue 1 regulation to formally join FC Nantes as their new head coach.

Ranieri's appointment was held up after it was discovered he may have been too old to take the job, but the French club have now obtained a derogation from the French Football Federation to allow the Italian to take charge on a two-year contract.

Reports: Cristiano Ronaldo Has Made ‘Irreversible Decision’ To Leave Real Madrid This Summer

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The sensational news emanating from Portugal this morning is that Cristiano Ronaldo has made a supposedly "irreversible" decision to leave Real Madrid this summer.

According to A Bola, Ronaldo is livid with Real for not showing him enough support in the wake of the tax dodging allegations brought against him by Spanish prosecutors last week livid to the point that he wants to leave Spain entirely.

‘We Believe In Respecting Your Opponents’ – Spanish Youth Coach Sacked After Guiding His Team To 25-0 Victory

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By Joseph Viney

Image via Torcedores

If further proof were needed that the world is a cold, cruel place and you are doomed to fail, then here it is.

Spare a thought for the coach of Serrano B's Under-11 team, who was given el booto after leading his young charges to a 25-0 drubbing of Valencia-based youth sideBenicalap C.

Carabao Cup Snapshot: First Round Draw Goes Swimmingly As Charlton Come Out Of The Hat Twice…

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The draw for the first round of the Carabao Cup took place in Bangkok and, as you may have guessed, the whole thing proved to be a worthwhile foray into lucrative emerging marketsfrom start to end.

There was one slight hitch, however, when Charlton Athletic found themselves faced with an incredibly challenging first round draw after being pitted againstboth Exeter City and Cheltenham Town.

Official: Everton Make Jordan Pickford The Third Most Expensive Goalkeeper Of All Time (Photo)

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Photo: @Everton/Twitter

It's been a tidy afternoon for the accounting departmentsof freshly-relegated teams, with the news that Everton have completed a £30million deal to sign Jordan Pickford from Sunderland.

The 23-year-old goalkeeper, Sunderland's poor beleaguered player of the season last time out, has signed a five-year contract at Goodison.

Southampton: Claude Puel Sacked By Saints After Just One Season In Charge

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After just one season in charge, Claude Puel has been sacked by Southampton.

The 55-year-old Puel steered Saints to a decent eighth-place finish in last season's Premier League, as well as leading them to a League Cup final appearance, where they pushed eventual winners Manchester United all the way.

Shit Lookalikes: Victor Lindelof & Grant Holt

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He may well have just joined Manchester United in a £31million deal, but we've got a sneaking suspicion that Victor Lindelof already hasa fair few Premier League appearances under his belt...

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Don't hesitate to ping it over to us at waatpies@gmail.com for instant(ish) perusal.

Chinese Burn: Sven Goran Eriksson Sacked By Shenzuan FC, Replacement Coach Announced With Poem

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Sven-Goran Eriksson is once again out of a job after being sacked by Chinese second-tier side Shenzhen FC this week.

Shenzhen are currently fourthin China League One, with a run of five wins from 13 games costing Eriksson his job after just six months in charge.

The club are now preparing to re-hire one of their most beloved former coaches, Wang Baoshan, and took the unorthodox step of announcing their managerial chop-and-change in the form of a poem.

‘I Knew We Needed To Play Dirty’ – Argentinian Defender Admits To Repeatedly Jabbing Estudiantes Striker With Needle During Cup Upset

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Photo: Estudiantes

A defender for Argentinian lower league side Sport Pacifico, has courted controversyin his homeland by freely admitting to "playing dirty" during Sunday's cup match against top-tier Estudiantes.

Speaking to a local radio station after the match, Federico Allende was unapologetic as he described repeatedly jabbing Estudiantes striker Juan Otero with a needle during the match in an attempt to unsettle the 22-year-old Colombian.

Championship Suitors Lining Up As Harry Redknapp Claims John Terry Has Received ‘Good Offer’ To Join Birmingham City

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Harry Redknapp has revealed that Birmingham City have presented John Terry with a 'good offer' to join the Championship club.

As you well know, Terry had his 22-year association with Chelsea brought to an end in Mayand, keen to play on, is now assessing his options.

Aston Villa reportedly made an approach to sign the 36-year-old free agent last week, with their cross-city rivals now following suit.

Champions League: Besiktas Striker Cenk Tosun Pips Mario Mandzukic To Land ‘Goal Of The Tournament’ Award (Video)

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The votes have been tallied and the results are in: Mario Mandzukic's absolutely incredible overhead kick against Real Madrid has not been named as the best goal scored during the 2015/16 Champions League tournament.

That honour has instead gone to Besiktas striker Cenk Tosun, whose similarly acrobatic effort against Benfica in the group stages took a whopping 41% of UEFA's online poll.

Official: Harry Maguire Joins Leicester City From Hull City In £17m Transfer (Photo)

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Photo: @LCFC/Twitter

Leicester City have officially signed Harry Maguire from Hull City, paying around £17million for the privilege.

The Foxes pounced earlyto get the deal done, with the 24-year old centre-back signing a five-year contract at the King Power.

#lcfc are delighted to announce the signing of defender Harry Maguire!

Official: Swedish Centre-Half Victor Lindelof Joins Man Utd From Benfica In £31m Deal

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Manchester United have announced the arrival of Lictor Lindelof, with the Benfica centre-half joining the Red Devils for the princely sum of £31million.

The 22-year-old Lindelof had been linked with a move to Old Trafford earlier this month and now becomes United's most expensive defender, beating Rio Ferdinand who cost £29million in 2002.

Corazon Classic: Roberto Carlos Wears Body Camera During Real Madrid Legends Game, Captures Some Great First-Person Footage (Video)

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Sunday afternoon saw Real Madrid's old boys take on a team of Roma legends in the now-annual Corazon Classic charity match at the Bernabeu stadium.

Thankfully, if you were unable to attend, Roberto Carlos went to the liberty of spending the entire day with a camera attached to his chest, filming the entire thing for posterity's sake.

Premier League Fixtures For 2017/18 Season Announced Just 59 Days Before Kick-Off

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With just 59 days until it all farts back into life again, the Premier League have spewed out the fixtures for the 2017/18 season.

Of course, almost all of them are subject to change at the whim of the broadcasters to which the Premier League are beholden, but the general jist is that each team will play every other team twice over the course of the entire campaign as deigned by a series of complex algorithms and methodical sequencing.

Real Madrid Release New Home Kit For 2017/18 Season, Trim Is Turquoise This Time (Photos & Video)

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Photo: Real Madrid/Adidas Football

Real Madrid have unveiled the new togs their players will be wearing next season, with Adidas knocking out a pair of new jerseys for the reigning Spanish and European champions.

As ever, when it comes to Real's home shirt, the only variable is the colour of the trim, with Adidas plumping for a less-than-subtle shade of turquoise this time round.

Non-League: Northwich Victoria Supporters Raise £5,000 In 24 Hours To Prevent Historic Club From Folding

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Photo: Ian Egerton/Just Giving

Northwich Victoria has successfully raised over £5,000's worth of donations in the space of two days to help save the club brink of extinction.

The Cheshire club endured a fairly miserable season in 2016/17, finishing bottom of the Northern Premier League Division One South and being relegated down into the North West Counties League (ninth tier) as a result.

The Black And White Years: How New Signings Used To Be Unveiled Back In The Good Old Days (Photos)

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In the days before rubber lion masks, uncooked supermarket pizzas and social media blow-outs with budgets akin to your average Hollywood blockbuster,the welcomingof a new signing was a much more sedate and earnest affair.

There was minimalpomp, very littlecircumstance and, generally speaking, a surfeitof sturdy handshaking.

Asian Cup: Veteran Striker Sunil Chhetri Scores Solo Wonder-Goal As India Beat Kyrgyzstan (Video)

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Still yet tomake its mark on the global gamedespite a rather sizable 1.3billion population, Indian football still does have it moments, with one of them coming during their AFC Asian Cup qualifier againstKyrgyzstan.

Legendary strikerSunil Chhetri was the goal-hero for the Blue Tigers, netting a cracking solo goal after apitch-length run.

International Friendly: Harry Kane Nets Brace But England Lose To 10-Man France In Paris (Photos & Video)

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Ousmane Dembele was the match-winner for France at the Stade de France on Tuesday, with the Borussia Dortmund attacker's goal giving the 10-man hosts a 3-2 win against England.

Before the game, a touching tribute to the victims of the Manchester and London terror attacks saw a rendition of 'Don't Look Back In Anger' and a minute's silence.

Reports: Arsenal Decide Against Hiring New ‘Director Of Football’ After Stern Resistance From Arsene Wenger

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In the wake of Arsene Wenger agreeing his new two-year contract extension, Arsenal fans were promised a full review of the club's on and off pitch activity to "identify areas for improvement to build a sustained title challenge."

The review was taken as the"catalyst for change" as promised by shareholderAlisher Usmanov a month or so prior, with Arsenal as an organisation appearing to finally twig that something had to change in order for their fortunes to improve likewise.

Ex-Leicester Boss Claudio Ranieri Agrees Deal To Manage Nantes, May Be Too Old To Take The Job

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Unemployed since February, it looks like Claudio Ranieriis about to sashayback into the management racket after agreeing to take over at Nantes.

However, despite a deal beingin place between the two parties, the ex-Leicester City boss may see his appointment scuppered by a strange decree that exists inthe Ligue 1 rule book.

Reports: Everton On Verge Of Closing £30m Deal To Sign Jordan Pickford From Sunderland

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Everton are *this* close to bagging themselves a shiny new goalkeeper as their acquisition ofSunderland stopper Jordan Pickford continues to movetoward conclusion.

According to John Percy in the Telegraph, the Toffees are now within spitting distance of cinching up a £30million package for Pickford, who iscurrently away with England at the Under-21 European Championships in Poland.

Classic Football Adverts: Peter Schmeichel Sings For His Supper In Danepak Danish Bacon Commercial, 1998 (Video)

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The year was 1998 and Danepak had a line of classic dry cure bacon they needed to flog on UK television.

Obviously, the advert in question was for Danish produce and also involved singing so Peter Schmeichel, Manchester United and Denmark goalkeeper and the son of a concert pianist, was the obvious choice.

Keep It Tight: Brazil Score Against Australia With Just NINE Seconds On The Clock (Video)

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If it was Australia's intention to hold off Brazil for as long as possible in their friendly encounter in Melbourne, then the ploy was a resounding success ...for all of nine seconds.

Despite kicking off themselves, Australia immediately surrendered possession to Brazil with Guiliano playing in Diego Souza who steered a shot past Mitchell Langerak before the hosts even had time to realise what had happened.

World Cup Qualifying: Michael Bradley Nets Spectacular 40-Yard Effort As USA Draw With Mexico (Video)

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Michael Bradley, son of ex-Swansea boss Bob, scored an incredible long-range goal during the USA's World Cup qualifying draw away to Mexico.

Bradley, who currently plies his trade with Toronto, latched onto a loose pass in the middle of the pitch before launching a 40-yard effort which sailed into the back of the Mexican net.

Modern Football Is Rubbish: Carabao Cup (Née League Cup) First-Round Draw To Be Conducted In Bangkok

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The Football Leaguehave confirmed that the first-round draw for the 2017/18 Carabao Cup (née League Cup) will be conducted this Friday... in Bangkok ...in Thailand.

Thai energy drink pedlars Carabao signed a three-year deal to sponsor the cup back in November, and will kick things off with a chintzy event in their home capital.

Eager Beaver: Birmingham Fan Ensures He’s First To Wear New Away Kit By Making His Own (Photo)

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Photos: @BCFC/Twitter, KRO Birmingham/Facebook

With Birmingham City's new away kit not due to be released until later this week, one enterprising young fan has taken it upon himself to ensure that he will be the first to own his club's latest change strip.

Indeed, the new 2017/18 away jersey is currently available on pre-order ahead of it officially going on sale on 15th June.

‘I’ll Kick It Into The Curva’ – Francesco Totti Planned To Mark His Final Match For Roma By Deliberately Missing Penalty

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If you thought John Terry's decisionto bow out by throwing himself a mandatory mid-match guard of honour was questionable, then just wait until you hear the initial draft of Francesco Totti's farewell ritual.

As revealed by Roma teammate Juan Jesus, it would appear that Totti very slightly lost his mind in the build up to Roma's final Serie A fixture of the season against Genoa a Sunday or two ago his 786th and final appearance for his boyhood club.

‘I Did It To Please My Entourage’ – Emmanuel Adebayor Describes Signing For Crystal Palace As ‘Worst Decision’ Of His Career

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Photo: @CPFC/Twitter

Ever-lovable scamp Emmanuel Adebayor has described his move to Crystal Palace last year as the "worst decision" of his career.

The Togolese striker joined Palace on a six-month loan deal in January 2016 but only managed nine starts for the club scoring but once, in a 2-1 defeat against Watford in February.

Like Chicharito, Only Better: Alvaro Morata Is Precisely The Kind Of Striker Man Utd Need Right Now

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It would appear that Alvaro Moratais teetering on the very cusp of making an expensive switch toManchester United.

Along with MARCAclaiming that Jose Mourinho has instructed Morata to gird himselffor a formal offer being made this week, the Real Madrid striker has also gone and 'liked' a spurious Instagram post that links him (and Gareth Bale, and James Rodriguez) with an imminent switch to Old Trafford.

World Cup Qualifying: Jonathan Walters Rescues Point For Ireland Against Austria (Video)

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A late Jonathan Walters goal gave the Republic of Ireland a share of the points at home to Austria on Sunday.

Irelandwere well below-par in the first-half and eventually went behind just after the half-hour mark whenHinteregger fired home after a corner.

In the second period, Martin O'Neill's side improved and after pushing for the equaliser, the goal eventually came.

FIFA Under-20 World Cup Final: England Strike Early To Pip Venezuela And Win First World Cup Since 1966 (Photos & Video)

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By Joseph Viney

Behold, the rare sight of an England team with a trophy hoisted above their heads

England's Under-20 squad have achieved what their seniorcontemporaries have failed to do since 1966 and won a World Cup after beating Venezuela 1-0.

The Young Lionsstormed to victory courtesy of Everton's Dominic Calvert-Lewin, who managed the only goal in a tense game at the Suwon World Cup Stadium in South Korea.

World Cup Qualifying: Andorra Complete Just 44 Passes v Hungary In First Competitive Win Since 2004 (Video)

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Andorra beat Hungary 1-0 on Friday, thus enjoying their first competitive win since 2004, 67 games ago.

The shock victory was onlythe second in either World Cup or European Championship qualifyingfor the minnows currently ranked 186th by FIFA, 153 places below Hungary.

World Cup Qualifying: Harry Kane Rescues Point For England In 2-2 Draw With Scotland (Photos & Video)

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A late equaliser from Harry Kane rescued a point for England at Hampden Park on Saturday, after a mediocre clash came to life in the closing minutes.

England struggled to break down their hosts during the disappointing game until the 70th minute, when sub Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain found the back of the net after a good solo run.

International Friendly: Arsenal Striker Olivier Giroud Nets Absolute Screamer For France Against Sweden (Video)

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Resigned to a cameo role for Arsenal for much of a last season, Olivier Giroud has still managed to find the back of the net with impressive regularity for the Gunners.

Giroudalso continues to produce the goods on the international stage, and he was at it again on Friday night, netting an absolute screamer during France's friendly against Sweden.

Official: Middlesbrough Appoint Ex-Leeds Boss Garry Monk As New Manager

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Garry Monk has been named the new Middlesbrough manager and is set to be unveiled by the club on Monday.

Middlesbrough FC are delighted to confirm the appointment of Garry Monk as our new manager.

➡️ https://t.

General Election: Arsenal Fans Chase Big Social Media Points By Using ‘Wenger Out’ Meme To Spoil Ballot Papers (Photos)

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What better way to exercise you democratic right to vote than to use your ballot paper to score cheap social media banter points?

That's exactly what a few 'Arsenal fans' (we use the term loosely) did while voting in Thursday's UK General Election, spoiling their ballots by adding their own meme-tastic 'Wenger Out' box to the bottom and then tweeting photos of their handiwork.

Saudi Arabia ‘Unreservedly Apologise’ After Players Fail To Observe Minute’s Silence For Victims Of London Terror Attack

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The Saudi Arabian footballfederation have apologised after their playerselected not to observe a minute's silence for the victims of the London Bridge terror attack before theirgame against Australia on Tursday evening.

The two sides met in Adelaide to contest a World Cup qualifier, but only the Australian team lined up to pay tribute before kick-off asthe Saudi players loosely took their positions while milling about on the pitch.

Bolton Legend Jussi Jaaskelainen, 42, Confirms Reports Of His Retirement Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

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Former Bolton goalkeeper Jussi Jaaskelainen has scotched reports that he's decided to hang up his gloves at the tender age of 42.

It was announced in the Finnish media that, after being released by Wigan following their relegation back down to League One, Jaaskelainen had decided to call it quits and retire.

Official: Hull City Appoint Leonid Slutsky As Head Coach On Two-Year Deal

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As was foretold in the prophecy, Hull City have entrustedLeonid Slutsky with the job of getting them promoted back up into the Premier League at the first attempt.

The former CSKA Moscow and Russia coach has been officially sworn in at the KCOM Stadium today on a three-year contract, thus becoming the very first Russian coach to take charge of an English club.

Typical Striker: Robert Lewandowski Blames Bayern Munich Teammates For Costing Him Bundesliga Top Goalscorer Award

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Robert Lewandowski has all but accusedhis Bayern Munich teammates ofcosting him the Bundesliga top goalscorer award this season.

The Polish striker finished 2016/17 with 30 league goals to his name, leaving him just one goal behind Dortmund rival Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the running for the Torjagerkanone the 'Goal Hunter Cannon' award, as presented by Kicker magazine.

Chelsea: Spanish Newspaper Claim To Have Intercepted The Text Message Antonio Conte Sent To Diego Costa

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It very much looks like Diego Costa's timeat Chelsea is at an end, with manager Antonio Conte apparently informing his top goalscorer that his services will no longer be required via text message.

Speaking to reporters while on international duty with Spain, Costa revealed that he's now "looking for a way out" after being told by Conte that he won't be "counted on" for next season in the most ruthless manner imaginable.

Full-Time Job: Leicester City Appoint Craig Shakespeare As New Permanent Manager On Three-Year Deal

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There's no official word from the club as yet, but it's being widely reported that Leicester City have given Craig Shakespeare a three-year deal to become their new full-time manager.

Shakespeare took over as caretaker when the Foxes dismissed Claudio Ranieri in February and, over the course of 13games, guided thedefending Premier League champions from one point above the relegation zone up into the relative comfort of 12th place.

Reports: Man Utd To Release Zlatan Ibrahimovic When His Contract Expires Next Month

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It looks like Zlatan Ibrahimovic's tenure as a Manchester United player will be limited to one season, with reports that the club plan to release the striker when his contract expires at the end of the month.

According to ESPN FC's insider sources, Ibrahimovic will be included on United's 'released' list which is expected to be published by the Premier League on Friday morning.

FIFA U20 World Cup: Solanke On Target As England Saunter Into Final By Spanking Italy 3-1 In Semis (Photos & Video)

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After impressing with a series of exciting displays on the way, England's next big things have gone sailing into the final of the FIFA Under-20 World Cup after seeing off Italy in the semis out in South Korea.

The lion cubs actually fell behind with less than two minutes on the clockwhen Juventus forward RiccardoOrsolini came steaming in to steer the ball past Freddie Woodman.

‘He Told Me He Doesn’t Count On Me For Next Season’ – Antonio Conte Ends Diego Costa’s Chelsea Career By Text Message

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Diego Costa has revealed that he is hoping to leave Chelsea this summer after seeing his relationship with manager Antonio Conte deteriorate to the point of non-existence.

Indeed, the 28-year-old striker claims he received a text message from Conte after Spain's 2-2 draw with Colombia on Wednesday to inform him that he will not be considered as part of the Italian's plans at Stamford Bridge next season.

Official: Man City Finally Complete €40m Deal For Ederson, Snag Themselves Brand New Goalkeeper (Photo)

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Photo: Manchester City

Just one week after Benfica broke the news to the Portuguese Marketing Commission, Man City have formally welcomed Ederson unto their bosom.

The Brazilian goalkeeper has moved to the Etihad in a€40million deal that will see roughly 50% going to third parties such are the times in which we live.

10 Footballers/Managers Who Lost Their Job Via Text Message Or Email

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The cynical, impersonal inner machinations of modern football rear their ugly head once again – human beings being bought, sold and paraded like prize cattle, mere commodities in a world gone cold.

With news of Diego Costa being informed his time at Chelsea is at an end via the medium of a text message from his manager, here's several more footballing folk who have suffered a similar fate over the past few years.

Well Struck, Sir: Uruguay Defender Jose Gimenez Scores Beautifully Executed Own-Goal Against Italy (Video)

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With half-time upon us, Italy are currently 1-0 up against Uruguay in their friendly encounter at the Allianz stadium in Nice.

The Azzurri kicked off with several fresh young faces in their starting line-up, including aninternational start for 18-year-old goalkeeper Gianluigi Donnarumma.

However, theAzzurri hadUruguay defender JoseGimenez for making the breakthroughin the 7th minute the Atletico Madrid centre-half connecting sweetly with a bouncing ball to arrow the ball past his own goalkeeper from the edge of the box.

‘We Have Ended Any Interest In The Player’ – Liverpool Publicly Apologise To Southampton For ‘Misunderstanding’ Re: Virgil Van Dijk

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Liverpool have formally apologised to Southampton after making what was described as an 'illegal approach' to sign Virgil van Dijk.

The Saints lodged a formal complaint with the Premier League earlier in the week after learning that Liverpool had contacted Van Dijk through the back channels 'tapping up', as it used to be called in the trade.

Juventus Launch New Home Kit Complete With New Corporate-Friendly Club Crest (Photos)

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Photo: Juventus/Adidas Football

In the wake of a hobblingChampions League final defeat, Juventushave bucked themselves up with a bit of sartorial therapy.

Indeed, the Bianconeri have unveiled their dandy new strip for 2017/18, the very first to feature their new minimalist, market-friendly club crest.

‘My Daughter Has Changed Colour’ – Nolito Admits He’s Desperate To Leave Man City, Likens Manchester To ‘Living In A Cave’

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Unsurprisingly, Nolito is rather keen to move on from Man City this summer having played just 39 minutes of Premier League football since the beginning of February.

The Spanish forward has been heavily linked with a move toback to La Liga, with Sevilla said to be keen to engineer a season-long loan deal.

Terminally Ill Sheffield Wednesday Fan Climbs Mount Everest, Plants Sheffield United Flag In Name Of Charity (Photo)

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This Wednesday flag was presumably too big to fit into Ian Toothill's rucksack

A Sheffield Wednesday fan who has been told he has'several months to live' has scaled Mount Everest and, perhaps even more impressively, magnanimously planted a Sheffield United flag at the summit in the name of charity.

Craptastic Mascot Of The Day: Roelio The Giant White Bollock, Pontevedra CF (Photos)

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Photo: Pontevedra CF

The bulbous, clown-faced atrocity you see before you is Roelio, esrtwhile mascot for Spanish lower league side CF Pontevedra and the latest inducteeinto Pies' Craptastic Mascot hall of fame.

Described by La Informacion as "cojonmórfico" essentially an anthropomorphic bollock Roelio is beloved by Pontevedra fans,who seem to find his Mr Blobby-esque appearance charming.

Bulgaria: FC Vereya Defender Ivan Bandalovski Swigs From Beer Can Thrown Onto Pitch, Goes On To Score 93rd-Minute Equaliser (Video)

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Images: Ivan Bandalovski/Facebook

Levski Sofia ensured Europa League qualification with a tense penalty shoot-out win over FC Vereya in the Bulgarian First League play-off on Sunday afternoon.

Indeed, Levski led 1-0 for the majority of the match, right up until the 93rd minute, when Vereya defender Ivan Bandalovski slammed home an equaliser at the death to take the tie to extra-time.

‘Let’s See What Happens’ – Arsenal Right-Back Hector Bellerin Openly Flirts With Idea Of Returning To Barcelona

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Having previously remained diplomatically schtum on the matter, Arsenal defender Hector Bellerin has broken his silence on the prospect of returning to his boyhood club, Barcelona.

Bellerin has always made a point of nippingtalk of a return in the bud, but his latest interview with Catalan newspaper Mundo Deportivo appears to show a tangible shift in stance, with the young full-back hintingseveral times that hemay be open to persuasion.

Official: Arsenal Sign Left-Back Sead Kolasinac On Freebie Deal From Schalke (Photo)

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Photo: Arsenal FC

It's official. Sead Kolasinac is an Arsenal player.

The German-born, Bosnian international left-back arrives from Schalke, having spent the last six years ploughing up and down the flank for the Bundesliga club, their youth team,and their second string side.

The club formally announced Kolasinac's arrival in the most round-about manner by replying to a tweet from a fan demanding an announcement of Kolasinac's arrival.

Southampton Plan To Report Liverpool For Making ‘Illegal Approach’ To Sign Virgil Van Dijk

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With news of a £50million transfer in the offing, Southampton are prepared to report Liverpool over an 'illegal approach' made in their attempts to lure Virgil van Dijk to Anfield this summer.

While the 25-year-old Dutch defender is said to be"keen" to join Jurgen Klopp's side in a club-record move, Southampton are doing their utmost to prevent him leaving.

10 Years Of Filthy And Fury: Pepe Set To Leave Real Madrid, Here Are His Greatest Hits

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Pepe has confirmed that he will be bidding farewell to Real Madrid this summer after spending the last 10 years studding shins and feigning headbuttsfor Los Blancos.

With PSG, AC Milan and a couple of clubs in England reportedly hovering, the 34-year-old Portuguese centre-half has today emitted a statement via Instagram to confirm that he will indeed be moving on to pastures new this summer.

Gareth Southgate And The England Squad Train With Royal Marines Ahead Of Scotland Qualifier (Photos)

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Symbolism rife as Gareth Southgate emerges wet and terrified from a deep, dark hole (Photo: @England/Twitter)

With a trip to deepest, darkest Scotland in the offing this coming weekend, England manager Gareth Southgate took one look at his squad and decided a bit of intensive training was required.

Classic Moments: Cheick Tiote Scores Career-Defining Volley To Decimate Arsenal’s Four-Goal Lead, 2011 (Video)

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Uponthe rubbishly tragic news of his untimely death, Pies thought it only properto pay tribute to the late Cheick Tiote in the only we could proffer forth by once again revisiting his utterly brilliant goal against Arsenal in 2011.

You all know the context: Newcastle 0-4 down at half-time, 2-4 down in the 75th minute, and 3-4 down in the 87th.

RIP Cheick Tiote – Former Newcastle Midfielder Dies, Aged 30, After Collapsing In Training

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Sad, sad news is reaching us that ex-Newcastle midfielder Cheick Tiote has died suddenly at the age of 30.

Unsubstantiated reports of Tiote's death flooded Twitter this afternoon, with many believing it to be a hoax.

Unfortunately, the tragic news have since been confirmed by Emanuele Palladino, the Ivorian's representative:

It is with deep sadness I confirm that Cheick Tiote sadly passed away earlier today after collapsing in training.

Reports: Juventus Agree €16m Deal To Sign Arsenal’s Fourth-Choice Goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny

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After spending the last two seasons on loan at Roma, it looks like Arsenal's cast-off 'keeper Wojciech Szczesny will be staying on in Italy for the foreseeable future.

Indeed, Sky Sports are reporting that Juventus have struck a €16million deal with the Gunnersto sign Szczesny on a permanent basis.

Real Madrid: Cristiano Ronaldo Celebrates Wildly After Being Offered Chocolate Winner’s Medal By Mayor Of Madrid (Video)

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Shortly after beating Juventus in the Champions League final, the Duodecima-winning Real Madrid squad spruced themselves up and trundled down to the town hall for a special reception with the Mayor of Madrid.

In textbook form, Mayor Manuela Carmena opened proceedings with a joke, by offering the Real players chocolate winner's medals.

Real Madrid’s Champions League ‘Duodecima Homecoming’ Party At The Bernabeu Was Utterly Bonkers (Photos & Video)

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After becoming the first club to retain theChampions League trophy in the post-'92 era, Real Madrid went ahead and laid it on thick with their celebrations.

Indeed, the club staged a 'Duodecima homecoming' for fans at the Bernabeu on Sunday night, with upwards of 80,000 people flocking to the stadium to herald their returning victors.

Reports: Hull City Keen To Appoint CSKA Stalwart Leonid Slutsky As New Manager

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Hull City are reportedly close to appointing former CSKA Moscow coach Leonid Slutsky as their new manager.

After losing previous incumbent Marco Silva to Watford a week or so ago, Hull's owners, the Allams, met with Slutsky recently to discuss the Russian stepping into the breach.

Former Russia and CSKA Moscow coach Leonid Slutsky is set to become Hull City's new manager.

Retro Football: Anti-Fascist Barnsley Supporters Take On The National Front, Terrace Nazis, 1978 (Photo)

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Oakwell stadium, home of Barnsley FC (Photo: Press Association)

With the National Front (NF) on the rise in Britain and right-wing thuggery becoming rifeon the terraces in the 1970s, many groups of concerned football fanstook it upon themselves to make a defiant stand.

Following the creation of the Anti Nazi League (ANL) in 1975, activist supportersof many different football clubs formedtheir own sub-sects to help prevent their respective stadiums beingused asNF recruitment centres on matchdays.

Man Utd: Michael Carrick Marks Star-Studded Testimonial With Cracking Goal At Old Trafford (Video)

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Embed from Getty Images

Awhole slew of footballing legends graced Old Trafford on Sunday, as Manchester United celebrated Michael Carrick's testimonial.

Embed from Getty Images

Alas, a less-than-world-class performance from the United media team saw the midfielder's name spelled incorrectly (Michael 'Carrtick'), with Clarence 'Seadorf' also falling foul of some shoddy work.

International Friendly: Jonathan Walters Nets Stunner Then Misses Open Goal As Ireland Beat Uruguay 3-1 (Video)

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The Republic of Ireland enjoyed a morale-boosting 3-1 win against Uruguay on Sunday, ahead of next week's World Cup qualifier against Austria.

Jonathan Walters scored the goal of the game on 28 minutes, with the Stoke attacker producing a superb long-range effort.

Jose Giminez levelled the scoresbefore the break, before Walters then somehow contrived to miss an open goal from all of two yards, with his effort coming back off the crossbar.

Swansea: Fans Produce Abysmal East 17-Inspired Musical Plea To Gylfi Sigurdsson As Everton And Leicester Circle (Video)

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Gylfi Sigurdsson was once again the star-man for Swansea in the Premier League, with the playmaker's impressive haul of 13 assists helping the Welsh side to dodge relegation under Paul Clement.

Not surprisingly, the 27-year-old is being eyed by a number of top-flight clubs, with both Everton and Leicester reported to be preparing a bid for the £30m-rated former Spurs man.

Champions League Final: Ronaldo Bags Brace As Real Madrid Power Past Juventus In Cardiff (Photos & Video)

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Real Madrid became the first team to retain the Champions League/European Cup in 27 years, and the first in the Champions League era, after a thoroughly deserved 4-1 win against Juventus in Cardiff, with Cristiano Ronaldo once again the star of the show.

Juventus impressed in the first-half, with their trademark defensive solidity keeping Madrid at bay for long periods.

Title Parade With A Difference: Besiktas Players Sail Up River Bosphorus Escorted By Hundreds Of Fans In Boats (Photos & Video)

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After winning the Turkish Super Lig last week, Besiktas staged a mass title celebration throughout Instabul on Saturday.

The day began with the Besiktas squad being carried up theBosphorus river to their stadium by boat, escorted by hundreds if not thousands of fans making the journey in accompanyingvessels.

Women’s Champions League Final: Goalkeepers Settle Penalty Shootout As Lyon Beat PSG To Retain Title (Photos & Video)

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Embed from Getty Images

Lyon retained the Women's Champions League title on Thursday night, after a dramatic 7-6 penalty shootout win against PSG in Cardiff.

After a tense, goalless 120 minutes of action, it came to the dreaded penalty shootout to settle the game.

With bothPSG's Grace Geyoro and Lyon's Eugenie Le Sommer missing their spot-kicks, and the score at 6-6, it would come down to the goalkeepers to settle the tie.

Swiss Bliss: Xherdan Shaqiri Scores Another Of His 25-Yard Wonder Goals, This Time Against Belarus (Video)

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Xherdan Shaqiri kept up his steadfast refusal to score anything other than 20+ yard screamers with another peach of a strike on Thursday night.

Switzerland beat Belarus 1-0 in a friendly with Shaqiri notching the only goal of the game with just nine minutes gone and a belter it was too...

Come for Shaqiri's top corner-seeking missile, stay for the Belarus goalkeeper's impeccable jersey.

Reports: Arsenal Have Enormous €100m Opening Bid For Kylian Mbappe Rejected By Monaco

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The big story coming out of France this morning is that Arsenal have reportedly tabled a dizzying offerto pry Kylian Mbappe from Monaco's payroll.

According to L'Equipe,the Gunners have pipped Real Madrid and Man City to the punch by lodging a formal bid of€100million (roughly £87million) for the 18-year-old striker.

Ballsy Call: Real Madrid Boss Zinedine Zidane Includes Son, Enzo, In His Champions League Final Squad

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Real Madrid coach Zinedine Zidane has made the ballsy move of including his son, Enzo, in his squad for the Champions League Final.

Enzo has only ever made one senior appearance for Real, coming against Cultural Leonesa in the fourth round of the Copa del Rey last November. He played for 44 minutes.

Sunderland Earned More Money For Finishing Bottom Of Premier League Than Bayern Munich Did For Winning Bundesliga

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Proof should proof be required that the Premier League is a swollen, bloated nonsense of a competition, Sunderland managed to earn themselves well over £90million by finishing rock bottom of the table last season.

The numbers have beencrunched by Nick Harris of Sporting Intelligence, who found that despite being the square root of abysmal all year, David Moyes' teamreaped £93.

Retro Football: 13-Year-Old Michael Carrick Appears On ‘Live & Kicking!’ During His Wallsend Boys Club Days, 1995 (Video)

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With a testimonial coming up this weekend and a one-year contract extension that will take him beyond his 36th birthday, Michael Carrick is very much approachingthe thin end of the wedge as far as his professional playing daysare concerned.

However, back in 1995, Carrick was 13-years old, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when he appeared in a segment onBBC Saturday morning staple 'Live & Kicking!

Non-League: Oxford City Unveil New Signing Matt Paterson In Local McDonalds Restaurant (Photo)

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Kudos are most definitely due to Oxford City, who decided to team up the unveiling of new signing Matt Paterson with a dash over to the retail park for a Big Mac and an Oreo McFlurry...

ICYMI | We are delighted to announce Matt Paterson has joined ahead of the 2017/18 season pic.

Retro Football: 25 Brilliant Archive Photos Of Iconic Champions League Final Moments Past

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As you're probably well aware, the Champions League final is due to kick-off in Cardiff in a few hours' time.

So, to wet your whistle for the 2017 edition, Pies thought we'd gee you up with a cavalcade of choice imagery from finals past.

Here they bloomin' well be, presentedin no particular order.

Reports: West Brom Captain Darren Fletcher Set To Join Stoke On Free Transfer

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Veteran midfielder Darren Fletcher looks set for a move to Stoke City, according to reports.

The 33-year-old former Manchester United star has been an ever-present for West Brom in their last two Premier League campaigns. However, with his contract expiring, the Scottish international is set to swap the Hawthorns for the bet365 Stadium.

‘I’ve Been Chilling On A Jet Ski’ – Michy Batshuayi Denies Claiming He’s Doomed To End Up ‘Wherever Chelsea Send Him’ Next Season

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Michy Batshuayi has debunked an interview he apparently gave to the Belgian press in which he admitted he wouldn't have a say in where Chelsea chose to send him on loan next season.

Despite signing for £30million last August and scoring the vital goal that clinched Chelsea the Premier League title, Batshuayi is likely to remain a bit-part supporting player at Stamford Bridge next year, with a season-long loan switch to West Ham being widely mooted.

‘The Ruling Is Unfair And Causes Irreparable Damage’ – Atletico Madrid Unable To Sign New Players Until January 2018 After Transfer Ban Upheld

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The big news emanating from Spain this morning is that Atletico Madrid have had their transfer ban upheld by the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS).

Back in January of last year, Atleti (along with rivals Real Madrid) were banned from signing players for two consecutive transfer windows for breaching FIFA regulations over the registration of minors.

Official: Benfica Confirm Man City’s €40m Purchase Of Ederson Has Now Gone Through (Photo)

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Benfica have emitted a short statement to confirm that Man City's purchase of goalkeeper Ederson has now gone through.

The Portuguese club have declaredthat the deal is worth€40million (around £35million), with 50% going to third parties.

The transaction was made public when Benfica announced it to the Portuguese Securities Market Commission.

Nike Ordem V: All Hail The New Official 2017/18 Premier League Match Ball (Photos & Video)

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Photo: Nike Football

The 2016/17 campaignisn't even cold yet and already Nike have revealed the new bag o' air that will be hoofed around in the Premier League next season.

Strap yourselves in, for the Nike Ordem V is the official match ball of the 2017/18 Premier League...

Coming to the #PL in 2017/18.

Craptastic Non-League Mascot Of The Day: Runcorn’s Corny McCornface (Photo)

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It's been a while since Piespaid tribute toa brilliantly naff mascot from the non-leagues, so we thought we'd revive the series with an absolute boomer.

Introducing the erstwhile symbol of Runcorn Linnets FC, Ron Corn otherwise known colloquially as 'Corny McCornface'...

Photo: @CornyMcCornface/Twitter

Look at his little face.

Retro Football: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Scores Against Non-League Heaton Stannington On A Pitch Behind The Local Fish & Chip Shop, 2012 (Photo)

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Today he may be on the verge of a €70million move between Dortmund and PSG, but just five short years ago Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang found himself in altogether less salubrious circumstances.

Indeed, on 22nd July, 2012, Aubameyang travelled to the suburbs of Newcastle with the rest of his Gabon teammates to play a friendly against non-league opposition on a pitch tucked behind a chip shop and a Chinese takeaway.

Official: Rather Confusingly, Juventus Have Changed The Name Of Their Home Ground To ‘Allianz Stadium’

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In a rather confusing turn of events, Juventus have renamed their stadium the 'Allianz Stadium'.

The change comes after the Serie A champions signed a six-year naming rights deal with Allianz Italy, meaning the stadium will no longer be officially known as the 'Stadio della Juventus'as of 1st July.