Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2017

Tottenham Set To Finish Above Arsenal For First Time In 22 Years After Convincing Win At White Hart Lane (Video)

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Goals from Dele Alli and Harry Kane helped Tottenham to a convincing 2-0 win in the north London derby at White Hart Lane on Sunday.

Spurs were the better side throughout the first-half, but failed to make the most of a number of great chances, with Alli missing a header when it looked harder to miss.

Chelsea: Pedro Cracker v Everton Helps Blues Stay On Course For Title (Video)

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A superb long-range strike from Pedro set Chelsea on the way to a 3-0 win away to Everton on Sunday, a result which nudges the Blues closer to their second Premier League title in three years.

The Toffees started well, withDominic Calvert-Lewin hitting the frame of the Chelsea goal.

Rampant Rabbit: Veteran Pachuca Goalkeeper Oscar ‘Conejo’ Perez Scores 93rd-Minute Equaliser Against Former Club (Video)

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Photo: MEXSPORT (via @Tuzos/Twitter)

Sincere congratulations are due to Pachuca 'keeper Oscar Perez who, at the grand old age of 44, officially joined the Mexican chapter of Grand Ancient AntediluvianOrder Of The Goalscoring Goalkeepers last night.

Perez, nicknamed 'The Rabbit', popped up in the 93rdminute to head home an equaliser against his former club, Cruz Azul, for whom he holds legendary status having made almost 500 appearances overnigh-on 20 years.

Man Utd: Rashford Dives For Penalty But Sigurdsson Stunner Earns Swans Precious Point At Old Trafford (Photos & Video)

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A cracking free-kick from dead-ball specialist Gylfi Sigurdsson earned Swansea a deserved point away to Manchester United on Sunday.

It would take until the stroke of half-time for the first goal of the game, which came in controversial circumstances.

Marcus Rashford charged into the box, only to clearly dive ahead of a challenge from Lukasz Fabianski.

Burnley: Ashley Barnes Sees Premature ‘Boat-Rowing’ Goal Celebration Spoiled By Ref (Video)

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Burnley secured their first away win of the season, with Ashley Barnes and Andre Gray scoring in the 2-0 victory.

Barnes thought he had bagged a brace, only for his effortto be chalked off (correctly) for handball, albeit after the Burnley man had instigated a classic, yet premature, goal celebration.

Misery Compounded: Home Defeat To Bournemouth Sees Sunderland Relegated From The Premier League…

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It's been on the cards for weeks if not months, but a 1-0 home defeat against Bournemouth today was enough to officially relegate Sunderlandfrom the Premier League.

Josh King's 12th goal of 2017 (coupled with Hull's draw against Southampton) was enough to resign the Black Cats to their fate, leaving them 13 points from safety with just four games left to go.

Old Firm: Celtic Defender Jozo Simunic Puts In Absolutely Thunderous Sliding Tackle On Rangers Striker Kenny Miller (Video)

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Celtic well and truly evisceratedRangers in the Old Firm derby earlier today, racking up their biggest ever win at Ibrox in the process.

Goals from Scott Sinclair, Lee Griffiths,Callum McGregor, Dedryck Boyata and Mikael Lustig saw the Bhoys storm to an emphatic 5-1 victory, with Kenny Miller scoring a forlorn consolation goal in reply.

‘No Broken Nose, His Face Is Nice As Always’ – Jose Mourinho Claims Sergio Aguero’s Feigned Injury Got Marouane Fellaini Sent Off

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Jose Mourinho has chastised Sergio Aguero for over-egging the headbutt that saw Marouane Fellaini sent off in the latter stages of Thursday night's borderline-unwatchable Manchester derby.

The clumsyBelgian was shown a straight red card in the 84th minute for nuzzling headswith Aguero, though the slow motion replays appeared to show that the City striker certainly made sure of it.

Uncanny: Lionel Messi Doppelganger Becomes Something Of A Minor Celebrity In Iran (Photos)

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The man you see afore ye is Riza Perestes, an Iranian gentleman who just so happens to share 99.99999999% of his DNA with a rather famous footballer by the name of Lionel Messi.

Riza has apparently become something of a minor phenomenon in his hometown, and now spends his days pottering around in an Argentina shirt whilst trying to make as many people do double-takes as possible.

‘I’ve Just About Recovered From The Arsenal Battle’ – Robert Huth Ribs Alexis Sanchez Over ‘War Wounds’ Sustained Against Leicester City (Photo)

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Once again proving that he's the pithiest pith-artist on Twitter, Robert Huth has levelled a wry dig at Alexis Sanchez in the aftermath of the blood-spattered battle between Arsenal and Leicester City on Wednesday night.

As you may recall, Sanchez was rendered temporarily paraplegic when he was hit in the face at point blank range by a Christian Fuchs throw-in.

Liverpool: Dejan Lovren Signs Massive Four-Year Contract Extension, Now Earns More Than Most Of The Best Defenders In Europe

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Liverpool have gone and chucked a new, long-term contract at Dejan Lovren.

The Croatian defender, 27, was presumably as surprised as weare to be offered a new four-year extension, which the Independent reckon will see him recoup £100,000 every seven days.

✍ Liverpool FC can today announce Dejan Lovren has signed a new long-term contract with the club.

Retro Football: Steve Palmer Wears Every Single Watford Squad Number In Space Of One Season, 1997/98 (Photo & Video)

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Having started the 1997/98 season on the bench, Watford defenderSteve Palmer was gradually pressed into service all over the pitch as Graham Taylor's Hornets set about hauling themselves up and out of Division Two.

Indeed, such was hisutility that Palmer began racking up an impressive collection of shirt numbers Football League squad numbering not being mandatory as it is today.

Manchester Derby: Fellaini Sees Red But Heavyweight Clash Ends In Slack Stalemate (Video)

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The cherry on the cake of Sky Sports' 'Heavyweight Week' ended in a disappointing affair on Thursdaywith the Manchester derby ending goalless at Old Trafford.

However, the game did produce some drama, with Marouane Fellaini seeing red for a headbutt on Sergio Aguero.

Barcelona: Lionel Messi’s Iconic ‘El Clasico’ Goal Celebration Immortalised In Action Figure Form (Photo)

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As is the way, every huckster worth their salt is trying to cash in on the back of Lionel Messi scoring his 500th Barcelona goal against Real Madrid at the Bernabeu last weekend.

Having previously offered a bog standard 'shirt-on' version of their Messi figure, Spanish toy company Sockers have struck while the iron is still lukewarm by knocking out a special 'Clasico' edition.

Liverpool Reveal New ‘125th Anniversary’ Home Kit – It’s Red With White Bits (Photos & Video)

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Photo: @LFC/Twitter

Liverpool have unveiled their new home kit for 2017/18 and, as always, the only variable is what colour the trim is this time.

Spoiler: it's white.

To mark the club's 125th anniversary, there's also a very slightly re-jigged badgeon the chest...

The New Balance strip features the club's commemorative crest for the first time, with the Liver bird emblem flanked by ‘1892' and ‘2017' embroidered onto the breast of the shirt – a unique element of the team's kits for the next campaign.

Football Art: Presenting, The Only PPV-Style Hype Poster You’ll Need Ahead Of The Manchester Derby (Photo)

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With the two Manchestergiants set to do battle in an apocalyptic battle for fourth place on Thursday night, the pre-match hype is already reaching a feverish pitch.

Indeed, City will be hosting United at the Etihad knowing full well that the winner will take their rightful place alongside Kazakhstan's finest in the preliminary stages of next season's Champions League.

La Liga: Barcelona Lodge Formal Complaint After Malaga President Brands Them ‘Human Waste Of Catalonia’

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Photo: Malaga CF (via Goal)

Barcelona intend to lodge a formal complaint after Malaga's coach and owner both appeared to suggest thatthey'dprefer Real Madrid to win La Liga.

With the title race looking like it may well go to the wire this season, Malaga are due to play Real on the final day of the season thus meaning that the result could be decisive.

‘Confected Outrage From My Enemies In The North-West’ – Kelvin MacKenzie Has Another Dig At Liverpool While Defending His Ross Barkley Hatchet Job

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Less than two weeks after being suspended by The Sun over an unprovoked hatchet job in which he called Ross Barkley "the dimmest footballer" in England before comparing him to "a gorilla in a zoo", Kelvin MacKenzie hasdone it again.

The column receives hundreds of complaints, withMerseyside Police treating it as a racist attack due to Barkley's Nigerian heritage.

Arsenal: Christian Fuchs Floors Alexis Sanchez With Throw-In As Gunners Battle To Victory Against Leicester (Video)

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Arsenal battled to a rather unconvincing 1-0 win against Leicester on Wednesday night.

However, on a rather dull evening at the Emirates, the most entertaining moment came late on, with Alexis Sanchez and Christian Fuchs getting involved in a bizarre hoo-haover a long-throw.

Tottenham: Christian Eriksen Cracker v Crystal Palace Keeps Lilywhites In Title Hunt (Video)

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Tottenham closed the gap back to four points at the top of the Premier League table after a Christian Eriksen strike gave them a hard-fought victory at Selhurst Park.

Tottenham struggled to breakdown a resilient Palace side on the night, who themselves rarely threatened Hugo Lloris' goal.

Ajax Announce ‘Agreement Of Intent’ To Rename Amsterdam Arena In Honour Of Johan Cruyff

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Ajax have announced thatplans are afoot to rename their stadium in honour of the great Johan Cruyff, who sadly passed away last year.

Cruyff spent 11 years at Ajax in two spells as a player and returned as a coach for three years in the mid-1980s, winning more than 20 trophies overall.

And so, on what would have been their eternal talisman's 70th birthday, Ajax declared that after positive consultations with the relevant authorities, an "agreement of intent" is now in place to rename the Amsterdam Arena.

Real Madrid Strip 357 Fans Of Their Season Tickets After Flogging Them To Barcelona Supporters For El Clasico

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Real Madrid have stripped over 350 fans of their season tickets after aconspicuous number of Barcelona supporters were spottedwatching El Clasico from sections of the Bernabeu supposedly reserved for home fans.

Sport are reporting that Los Blancos confiscated 357 season tickets in the wake of the match, which Barca won 3-2 in injury time thanks to the 500th goal of Lionel Messi's career.

Brighton: EFL Promise To Replace Anthony Knockaert’s Misspelled ‘Championship Player Of The Year’ Award

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Photo: EFL

The EFL are in the process of sending Anthony Knockaert a replacement 'Player of the Year' trophy after managing to misspell the Brighton forward's name on the original award.

Knockaert was crowned 'Championship Player of the Year' at the EFL Awards in London earlier this month, but was photographed holding a trophy with the name 'Anthony Knockeart' engraved upon it.

Arrests Made As Newcastle And West Ham Raided By HMRC Over Investigation Into Transfer Dealings

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Both Newcastle and West Ham United have been raided this morning following an HMRC investigation into potentially iffy transfer dealings.

According to the Independent, both St. James' Park and the London Stadium were the subject of warrants, and Newcastle's managing director, Lee Charnley, has been arrested.

Stadium Cleaners Accidentally Destroy Massive Banner Belonging To Borussia Monchengladbach Ultras (Photo)

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Borussia Monchengladbach wereknocked out of the DFB Pokal semi-finals on Tuesday night after losing on penaltiesagainst Eintracht Frankfurt on their own turf.

However, the real drama came before kick-off when Gladbach ultra group Sottocultura revealed that the enormous pre-match choreo they had been planning to perform had been scuppered by the club's cleaning service.

‘No Thanks, I’d Rather Die’ – Andre-Pierre Gignac Coy On Rumours Linking Him With Summer Move To PSG

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Not that it was ever actually on the cards, but it looks like you can go ahead a nip any prospectof Andre-PierreGignac joining PSG in the bud right now.

Gignac is currently one goal shy of his half-century for Mexican side Tigres (in just 86 appearances), who he joined after spending five years banging them in for his hometown club, Olympique Marseille.

‘I Never Spoke To The Sun’ – Xavi Categorically Denies Talking To Tabloid About Pep Guardiola’s Supposed Interest In Dele Alli

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Surprise, surprise. Xavi has categorically denied speaking to The Sun after the tabloid recently ran a story claiming the ex-Barcelona captainhad insider knowledge on Pep Guardiola's supposed interest in signing Dele Alli.

In apiece ran on 25th April, The Sun claimed Xavi had told them Guardiola was ready to plunder Alli from Spurs in a "record transfer deal" this summer.

‘This Effectively Forces Me Into Early Retirement’ – Burnley Midfielder Joey Barton Banned From Football For 18 Months Over Betting Breaches

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Joey Barton has been hit with a substantial 18-month ban from football after being found guilty of misconduct over his betting activity.

Back in December, Barton was charged after placing no less than1,260 flutters(between 26th March 2006 and 13th May 2016), all of which the FA saidcontravened their strict rules about professional players betting on football matches.

Chelsea: Costa Brace Shoots Down Saints As Blues Go Seven Points Clear (Video)

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Chelsea produced an impressive display at Stamford Bridge on Tuesday night, running out 4-2 winners against Southampton and restoring their lead at the top of the Premier League to seven points.

With Tottenham breathing down their necks, the Blues needed a good display against Saints and the hosts got off to the perfect start, with Eden Hazard opening the scoring on five minutes from a Diego Costa pass.

‘Glad The Family Are Okay’ – Ex-Southampton Striker James Beattie Rescues Mother And Children From Stricken Yacht In Poole Harbour (Video)

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Just weeks after Sunderland forward Duncan Watmore saved the lives of three people in a boat crash in the Caribbean, ex-Southampton striker James Beattie has repeated the feat albeit in slightly less opulentenvirons.

The Telegraph are reporting that Beattie helped rescue two young children and their mother from a yacht after it collided with a ferry in Poole Harbour, Dorset.

‘Winger Out’ – Ethiopian Arsenal Fan Responsible For Mispelled Wenger Protest Banner Claims Error Was Intentional

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Photo: Ashley Weston/CameraSport/Getty Images

Not so very long ago, with the 'Wenger Out' campaign atfull bonk, one particular protest banner went viral after it was unfurled at an Ethiopian football match.

This was because it appeared to feature not one, but two of the internet's twin obsessions, namelyArsene Wenger and a bonus spelling mistake.

Nike Release Limited Edition Golden Tiempo Boots To Mark Francesco Totti’s 25 Years Of Service To Roma (Photos)

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To mark Francesco Totti's 25 years of dedicated service to Roma, Nike are furnishing the veteran forward with his very own pair of signature Tiempo boots.

The limited edition Nike Tiempo Totti X Roma boot is finished in a demure and understated gold hue, and will be officially unveiled by the man himself at the AS Roma store inPiazza San Lorenzo, Rome, on Wednesday.

Classic Moments: Jamie Pollock Paints His Masterpiece With Majestic Own-Goal Against QPR, 1998 (Video)

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You may not be aware, but today marks the anniversary of one of the most significant matches in the entire 154-year history of association football.

Manchester City 2-2 Queens Park Rangers April 25th, 1998.

Knowing full well that a win and a win alone couldprevent their relegation to the third tier, Man City (21st in the league) met fellow stragglers QPR (22nd) in the penultimate game of the First Division season.

Grimsby Town Fans Banned From Bringing Inflatable Toys Into Barnet’s Ground, Use Crowd-Funding Campaign To Book Mariachi Band Instead

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A group of Grimsby Town fans have taken matters into their own hands afterBarnet issued a decree banning visiting supporters from bringing inflatables into The Hive ahead of Saturday's League Two meeting between the two sides.

The grievance goes back to 2015, beginningwhen Grimsby Town fanBryan Winship was ejected from a National League game against Forest Green Rovers for refusing to let hisbeach ball be confiscated during the game.

Championship: Newcastle Back In Premier League After Thumping Win Against Preston (Photos & Highlights)

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Newcastle United are back in the big time after the Magpiessecured their place in next season's Premier League courtesy of aresounding 4-1 win at home to Preston.

Ayoze Perez opened the scoring for the hosts on seven minutes from a corner.

However, just seven minutes later Preston drew level, courtesy of Jordan Hugill.

Direct Route: Bolivar Goalkeeper Matias Dituro Scores From Own Penalty Area In 3-1 Win Over San Jose (Video)

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Photo: APG (via Opinion)

Bolivar extended their lead at the top of the Bolivian top flight table with a 3-1 win over San Jose on Sunday afternoon.

Indeed, the home side's third and final goal came in the 95th minute when their goalkeeper, Matias Dituro, managed the always impressive feat of getting his name on the score-sheet.

‘I Cannot Be Associated In Any Way With This Club’ – Barry Hearn Resigns As Honorary Life President Of Leyton Orient

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Photo: Press Association

Former chairman Barry Hearn has resigned from his role as Leyton Orient's honorary life president, saying that he just "cannot be associated" with the beleaguered club under its current regime.

With players and staff unpaid for months, Orient are slowly being suffocated by current president Francesco Becchetti, who has successfully guided them from the League One play-off final to League Two relegationin the space of his three-year tenure to date.

El Clasico: Lionel Messi Scores 500th Barcelona Goal To Secure Injury-Time Victory Over Real Madrid (Photos & Video)

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As was foretold in the prophecy, Lionel Messi's 500th goal for Barcelona was enough to sink Real Madrid in the final minute of Sunday night's El Clasico fixture and send the Catalans back to the top of La Liga, if only by the slimmest of margins.

Casemiro put Real ahead in the 28th minute before Messi scored No.

N’Golo Kante Crowned PFA Player Of The Year, Dele Alli Picks Up Junior Award For Second Year Running (Photos)

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Photo: PFA

N'Golo Kante pipped Eden Hazard, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Romelu Lukaku, Alexis Sanchez and Harry Kane to be crowned 2016/17 PFA Player of the Yearon Sunday evening.

On course to win two successive Premier League titles in two successive seasons with two different clubs, Kante was typically humble upon receiving his award.

Barcelona: Lionel Messi Manages To Sneak Suspended Neymar Into Post-Clasico Dressing Room Victory Photo

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The keen-eyed amongst you may well have noticed that a certain Neymar wasn't included in the Barcelona team that registered a rousing 3-2 victory over Real Madrid in Sunday night's suitably tempestuous El Clasico fixture.

Indeed, Neymar was left at homeafter Barca were warned that flouting a pending appeal into the Brazilian forward's recent red card against Malaga by fielding him against Real would see the club in breach of court regulations.

Jeff Stelling Gets His Wish As Hartlepool Sack Dave Jones Two Days After Televised Rant

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Two days after Jeff Stelling embarked upon a fevered plea for Hartlepool manager Dave Jones to hand in his gun and badge, the League Two side have announced that Jones has been fired from his post.

Watching on in horror as 'Pool slid into the relegation zone on Saturday afternoon, Stelling the club's honorary life president stared down the Sky Sports camera and barked at Jones to "walk now" after reapingjust 13 points from the 51 available since his appointment in January.

Monaco: Kylian Mbappe Unwittingly Reignites Long Dormant Feud Between Nicolas Anelka And Raymond Domenech

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Kylian Mbappe, Monaco's wunderkind du jour,sent yet another record tumbling at the weekendby scoring what proved to be the winning goal against Lyon.

As a result, Mbappe became the youngest player this century (18 years, 124 days) to reach 14 league goals in one of Europe's so-called 'top five' leagues, thus breakingWayne Rooney's record.

Retro Football: Graeme Souness Plants His Enormous Galatasaray Flag In Fenerbahce’s Centre Circle, 1996 (Video)

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We can scarcely believe it, but it's now 21 years to the very day that Graeme Souness became an eternalGalatasarayfolkhero by driving their club colours into the centre circle at Fenerbahce's stadium.

Having been out of work for over a year, Souness took charge at Gala for the 1995/96 season and promptly guided the side to a fairly disappointing fourth-place finish in the Super Lig, or 1.

Serie A: Leonardo Bonucci Nets Screamer As Juventus March On Towards Scudetto (Video)

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Juventus moved 11 points clear at the top of Serie A on Sunday, courtesy of a 4-0 win at home to Genoa, with the goal of the game coming from a rather unlikely source.

Juve found themselves in the driving seat at the break, courtesy of an own-goal fromEzequiel Muñoz and strikes from Paulo Dybala and Mario Mandzukic.

Liverpool: Benteke Comes Back To Haunt Reds As Crystal Palace Win 2-1 At Anfield (Video)

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A Christian Benteke brace fired Crystal Palace to a precious 2-1 win away to Liverpool on Sunday, with the Belgian striker coming back to haunt his old club.

Liverpool dominated possession and took the lead on the half-hour mark, via a superb long-range free-kick strike from Philippe Coutinho.

FA Cup: Arsenal Book Place In Final After Hard-Fought Extra-Time Win Against Man City (Photos & Video)

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Arsenal battled from a goal down to beat Manchester City 2-1 in a tense FA Cup semi-final on Sunday.

Arsene Wenger stuck with his three-at-the-back formation, with Rob Holding once again starting beside Laurent Koscielny and Gabriel.

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City dominated possession in the first period, but saw David Silva forced off early on with an injury.

“Quit Now” – Sky Sports’ Jeff Stelling Tells Hartlepool Boss Dave Jones To Resign In Impassioned TV Rant (Video)

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Sky Sports New anchor and Hartlepool president Jeff Stelling launched an impassioned tirade against Pool's boss Dave Jones live on air during Soccer Saturday, telling him to "quit now".

As Hartlepool dropped into the League Two relegation zone on Saturday, Stelling pleaded with Jones to go, saying:

This isn't personal to Dave Jones but for the good of the club, walk now.

Hull: Clucas Cracker Helps 10-Man Tigers To Victory Over Watford (Video)

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Hull City produced a superb battling display at home to Watford on Saturday, with the relegation-threatened side beating Watford by two goals to one, despite having to play most of the game with 10 men.

Sam Clucas netted the goal of the game, with the Hull man executing a magnificent long-range effort after a corner had been cleared.

FA Cup: Matic Nets Stunner As Chelsea Beat Totteham 4-2 In Classic Wembley Semi-Final (Video)

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Chelsea won a goal-packed FA Cup semi-final against Tottenham on Saturday, with a Nemanja Matic stunner helping the Blues to an entertaining 4-2 win against their metropolitan rivals.

Antonio Conte left both Eden Hazard and Diego Costa on the bench but still saw his side take the lead after just five minutes, with Willian scoring via a pinpointfree-kick.

La Liga: Tony Adams Puts His Visionary Coaching Techniques Into Action With Granada 2-0 Down In The 90th Minute (Video)

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Unlikely as it may seem, Granada have not enjoyed the industry standard 'managerial bounce' sinceappointing Tony Adams as their new head coach earlier in the month.

The struggling side have sufferedtwo straight defeats under the tutelage of the former Arsenal defender, albeit against decentopposition in the shape of Celta Vigo and Sevilla respectively.

Championship: Brighton ‘Keeper David Stockdale Scores Two Almost Identical Own-Goals In Space Of 20 Minutes (Video)

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Brighton missed out on the chance to clinch the Championship title on Friday night after slumping to a 2-0 defeat against Norwich at Carrow Road.

It proved to be a naffold night for Seagulls goalkeeper David Stockdale who technically scored both of Norwich's goals, and all in the space of 20 first-half minutes.

Ugo Ehiogu Has Died, Aged 44, After Suffering Heart Attack At Tottenham’s Training Ground

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The utterly terriblenews we're waking up to is thatUgo Ehiogu has diedafter suffering a heart attack at Tottenham's training facilities on Thursday. He was just 44.

The former Aston Villa, Middlesbrough and England defender, who had been coaching Spurs' Under-23 side for the past couple of years, wasrushed to hospital after collapsing at Hotspur Way yesterday afternoon.

Europa League: Ajax Fans Stay Behind To Sing ‘Three Little Birds’ En Masse After Just About Seeing Off Schalke (Video)

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It was touch and go on several occasions, but Ajax just about saw off Schalke to reach the semi-finals of the Europa League in Gelsenkirchen on Thursday evening.

Despite leading 2-0 from the first leg, the Dutch side looked to be tumbling out of the competition as Schalke wiped out the deficit in less than an hour before scoring again early in extra-time.

MLS: Lady At Airport Politely Asks Bastian Schweinsteiger To Take Photo Of Her Posing With Rest Of Chicago Fire Players

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He may well be a Champions League winner, a Bundesliga octo-champ and a Weltmeister, but it would appear that Bastian Schweinsteiger isn't quite what you'd call a household name across the pondjust yet.

Indeed, the ex-Bayern Munich and Manchester United midfielder was politely asked by a lady at Toronto Airport if he'd kindly take a photo of her posing with the rest of his Chicago Fire teammates.

Champions League Semi-Final Draw: Juventus To Play Monaco As Two Madrid Clubs Pitted Against Each Other

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The balls are out of the UEFA tupperware and the semi-finals of the 2016/17 Champions League have been drawn.

First up, Real Madrid will play their old chums Atletico in a repeat of last season's final, while Juventus will be taking on Monaco in t'other tie.

The Champions League semi-final draw in full.

Dortmund Bus Attack Latest: Suspect Carried Out Explosions To ‘Negatively Effect Prices Of Shares He’d Purchased In Club’

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Police have arrested a man on suspicion of carrying out the explosive attack on the Borussia Dortmund team bus before last Tuesday's Champions League game against Monaco.

Notes discovered at the scene (immediately described by investigators as "dubious") appeared to claim responsibility in the name of Islamic extremists, though prosecutors are now alleging that the motive may, somewhat oddly, be entirely financial.

Copa Libertadores: Santa Fe Accidentally Hold Minute’s Silence For Player Who Was Stood (Very Much Alive) On The Pitch

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Before Thursday evening'sCopa Libertadores match between Independiente Santa Fe and Santos was allowed to get underway, a message came over the stadium PA system to announce that a minute's silence was to be observed.

And so, as the two teamslined up and nodded their heads in sombre remembrance, theannouncement blared: "Ladies and gentlemen, please stand up and offer this minute of silence in honour of former Santos player Ricardo Oliveira.

Europa League Semi-Final Draw: Man Utd To Square Off Against Celta Vigo In Final Four Showdown

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Manchester United's reward for dispatching Anderlecht in the Europa League quarter-finals will be a final four showdown against Spanish side Celta Vigo.

Honestly Fenerbache, Zorya, Feyenoord, Saint-Etienne, Rostov, Anderlecht, Celta that's about as easy a run to the final as you're likely to get.

‘He Was A Man-Mountain’ – Paul Merson Delivers Incredibly Emotional Tribute To Ex-Teammate Ugo Ehiogu On Sky Sports News (Video)

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When the awful news broke this morning that Ugo Ehiogu has passed away after suffering a cardiac arrest on Thursday, it wasn't long before the tributes began to pour in.

As we've heard tell over the course of the day, Ehiogu was not only a fine, vastly underrated centre-halfbut also a kind, caring and much-lovedman his final Tweet almost serving to encapsulate his altruistic nature.

Europa League: Man Utd Book Place In Semi-Finals After Marcus Rashford Saves The Day v Anderlecht (Video)

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An extra-time Marcus Rashford striker fired Manchester United in the semi-final of the Europa League on Thursday night, after a tense encounter with Anderlecht at Old Trafford.

After a 1-1 draw in the first-leg in Belgium, the tie was nicely balanced but the hosts started well, with Henrikh Mkihitaryan scoring after just 10 minutes.

Cruz Azul: ‘Cursed’ Liga MX Strugglers Visited By Zulema The Witch In Bid To End 20-Year Title Drought (Photo & Video)

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Image via ESPN FC

Currently languishing down in 15th (of 18) in the Liga MX table with just three matchs of the 2017 Clausura left to play, Cruz Azul are at alow ebb at the moment.

However, thanks to a bit of outside assistance from their local witch, the Mexican side will be hoping that an upturn in fortunes is now just around the corner.

Champions League: Monaco Charge Into Semi-Finals After Vibrant Win Against Dortmund (Video)

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Monaco booked their place in the Champions League semi-finals for the first time since 2004 via a superb display against Borussia Dortmund on Wednesday.

Coming into the game on the back of a 3-2 aggregate lead, the hosts were their effervescent best from the off.

Indeed, It only took them three minutes to take the lead,with teen sensation Kylian Mbappe netting from close-range afterRoman Burki in the Dortmund goal could only parry Benjamin Mendy's shot.

PFA Premier League Team Of The Year Announced As Chelsea And Tottenham Players Dominate

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With the end of the season crowning on the horizon, the PFA have followed up their various Player of the Year shortlistsby foisting their '2017 Teams of the Year' on us once again.

Unsurprisingly, Chelsea and Tottenham dominate the Premier League proceedings by virtue of being the two best teams in the top tier this season, with both clubs having four players apiece find their way into the XI.

Brazilian Supreme Court Settle 30-Year Dispute By Finally Awarding 1987 Championship Title To Sport Recife

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(Photo: @sportrecife/Twitter)

It's taken almost 30 years, but today a court ruling has resolvedthe bitter dispute over just who won the 1987 Brazilian footballchampionship.

Both Sport do Recife and Flamengo claim to be the true champions of 1987, but the Supreme Court has now ruled in favour of the former.

Twitter Release Special Pack Of El Clasico-Themed Emojis Ahead Of Barcelona’s Crucial Trip To Real Madrid (Photo)

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Ahead of the bi-annual ref-crowding pageant that is El Clasico, the people at Twitter have rolled out a series of limited edition Barcelona and Real Madrid-themed emojis for the occasion.

WithLa Liga's twin behemoths set to go duke it out at the summit of the tableonce again on Sunday evening, fans (presumably under the age of 12) will be able to squabble over who's the bestest on social media using the following array of miniature pictographs.

Reports: Michael Keane To Up Sticks And Leave Burnley At End Of The Season As Tottenham, Everton And Man Utd Mull Bids

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Uncanny. No sooner had Pies included Michael Keane in our Alternative Team of the Seasondid the news break that he'll likely be moving on up the ladder come the end of the season.

Indeed, Sky Sports News are reporting that Keane has politely informed Burnley that he wishes to leave the club at the next available juncture.

Pies’ Alternative Premier League 2016/17 Team Of The Season

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With Chelsea and Tottenham players dominating the official Premier League Team of the Yearknocked out by the PFA this morning, Pies thought we'd have a bash at concocting one of our very own.

Steering clear of any and all the players selected by the PFA, here's our alternative pick of the pops.

Europa League: Anderlecht Players Spotted Training In Local Park Ahead Of Man Utd Second Leg (Video)

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They may well have spent the afternoon limbering up at Old Trafford yesterday, but Anderlecht ventured out into the wilds of Manchester to complete their final training session ahead of Thursday night's quarter-final second leg clash against Manchester United.

Indeed, the Belgian side were spotted by a fan (@robpim1982) going through their paces in the middle ofCastlefield park,just along the A65 from United's stadium.

Champions League: Juventus Full-Back Dani Alves Misses Kick-Off After Greeting Old Friends On Barcelona Bench (Video)

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On Wednesday night, Barcelona failed to recreate their dramatic comeback against PSG in the Last 16 of the Champions League against Juventus, instead going down 3-0 on aggregate after a goalless game at the Nou Camp.

Juve produced a trademark stalwart defensive display, with full-back Dani Alves impressive throughout.

Champions League: Juventus Keep Barcelona At Bay With Defensive Masterclass At Camp Nou, Sail Into Semi-Finals (Photos & Video)

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After stuffing their opponents 3-0 in the first leg, Juventus put on a trademark defensive masterclass to keep Barcelona at bay for 90 minutes at the Camp Nou and book themselves a place in the Champions League semi-finals.

Barca threw everything at Juve, especially in the first half, with the darting runs of Neymar (whose chosen hairstyle for the evening appeared to be a tribute to 'Joe vs.

Retro Football: Referee Causes Uproar By Allowing ‘Offside’ Jeff Astle Goal And Costing Leeds The First Division Title, 1971 (Video)

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Almost exactly 46 years ago this very day, a refereeing decision sparkeduproar at Elland Road when a controversial offside call (or lack thereof) effectively served to derail Leeds' title tilt.

Desperatelychasingthe win to stay in contention with Arsenal at the top of the table going into the last few games of the 1970/71 season, Leeds found themselves2-1 down against West Bromwhen Jeff Astle scored on the break despite the linesman flagging wildly from the touchline.

Champions League: It’s Saul Over For Leicester As Valiant Foxes Bow Out After 1-1 Draw With Atletico Madrid (Video)

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Leicester's European adventure came to an end at the King Power Stadium on Tuesday night, with the Foxes' valiant displayagaist Atletico Madrid on the night not enough to see them through to the semi-finals.

Atleticostarted strongly, solid in possessionand threatening on occasion.

Bournemouth: Agony For Jack Wilshere As Scan Reveals Midfielder Suffered Broken Ankle Against Tottenham

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Just when it looked like he was putting a decent run of games together, it's been confirmed today that Jack Wilshere is set for yet another prolonged period on the sidelines.

Indeed, the Bournemouth midfielder hobbled from the pitch during last Saturday's defeat against Tottenham, though initial X-rays proved inconclusive.

Football Art: Brighton Fan Paints Enormous Mural On House To Celebrate Team’s Promotion To Premier League (Photo)

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While the players themselves celebrated by playing silly buggers on the train home, one Brighton fan decided that the only fitting manner in which to mark his side's glorious ascension to the Premier League was in mural form.

As spotted by the Brighton Argus, one Seagulls supporter in Viaduct Road, Brighton, has turned his house into a giant, blue-and-white striped homage to his beloved football club.

‘The Journey Is Not Yet Over’ – John Terry Vows To Play On In Obligatory Open Letter To Chelsea Fans

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As jointly announced earlier in the week, John Terry and Chelsea two previously synonymous entities are to cleave themselves in twain come the end of the season.

After 22 years (and 14 major honours) at the club, man and boy, Terryhas been rendered surplus to requirements and as such will be down the Job Centre come June.

Japan: Kashima Antlers To Turn Team Of Ex-Players Into Zombies For Special ‘Escape Event’ Hosted At Their Stadium (Video)

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In what surely must be a first, Japanese side Kashima Antlers are preparing to host a special eventnext month that will see their stadium turned into the ground zeroof a zombie apocalypse.

In collaboration with video game developers Taito, the J. League champions will stage a "zombieescape" experience at Kashima Stadium in which paying customers will be tasked with.

‘I’m Thrilled To Become A Dragon’ – Crystal Palace Chairman Steve Parish To Join Next Series Of Dragons’ Den

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Crystal Palace chairman Steve Parish isjoining the line-up of entrepreneurs on the BBC's investment jeopardy extravaganza Dragons' Den.

Yep. We had no idea it was still going either.

Any road up, it's been announced that Parish will be one of two new Dragons entering the Den for the show's 15th series, along with Jenny Campbell, who made her millions by founding a cash machine company.

Non-League: Brackley Town Unveil Pioneering Throw-In Set Piece, Promptly Make Complete And Utter Hash Of It (Video)

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This can only go well... (Image: Gainsborough Town)

Brackley Town could only managed a goalless draw against Gainsborough Trinity in the National League North on Monday evening, though it wasn't for the lack of endeavour.

Indeed, the hoststried everythingTrinity down, even debutinga strange new prototype throw-in strategy in a desperate bid to break down the defences.

Smackdown: Hibernian Striker Jason Cummings Takes Part In Magnificent Wrestling Match In Club Canteen (Video)

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If you've ever wanted to see Hibernian striker Jason Cummings strip down to his underpants and grapple like his very life depends on it, then this one's for you.

With his slightly suspect wrestling moniker scrawled across his bare chest, 'Cum Dog' taped himself up, stuffed his trunks accordingly and went striding into the arena as hisfearsome entrance music (Like A Prayer by Madonna) blared out from his stereo.

Shanghai Shenhua Fans Peeved After Carlos Tevez Misses Match Through ‘Injury’ Only To Be Spotted At Disneyland (Photo)

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It's largely fair to say that Shanghai Shenhua aren't really getting their money's worth out of Carlos Tevez at the moment, four months into his Chinese Super League sojourn.

The 33-year-old striker has made just four appearances Shenhua since joining in late December, scoring one goal a penalty in a 4-0 win over Jiangsu Suning last month.

Official: Birmingham Appoint Harry Redknapp As New Manager After Mercy-Sacking Gianfranco Zola

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Harry Redknapp is officially back in the game after being appointed as Birmingham City's new manager this morning.

Brumsacked Gianfranco Zola on Monday evening after a truly abysmal tenure that saw the teamgo from three points off third place when he took over (14th December) to three points above the relegation zone (17th April) in the space of just 21 Championship games.

Danish Superliga: Copenhagen Player Pelted With Dead Rats During Feisty Brondby Derby Match (Photos)

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Monday'slively Danish Superliga derby between rivals Brondby and FC Copenhagen was interrupted momentarilywhen a rather gruesomevolley of projectiles was flung onto the pitch.

As Copenhagen left-back Ludwig Augustinsson (awesome name) was shaping up to take an 85th-minute corner kick, a couple of dead rats were hurled in his general direction.

‘Barcelona Forwards Are Like Sharks, They Smell Blood’ – Giorgio Chiellini Wary Of Luis Suarez Relapse Ahead Of Champions League Second Leg

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Juventus defender Giorgio Chiellini has likened Barcelona's attack to blood-thirsty sharks and let's face it, he would know, having been partially devoured by one of them in the past.

The Bianconeriare heading into the second leg of their Champions League quarter-final with a commanding three-goal cushion to fall back on, but the grizzled veteran is more than aware thatLionel Messi and co.

Leicester City: Peter Schmeichel Shares Slightly Awkward Greeting With Kasper Schmeichel On ‘Bring Your Father To Work Day’

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Not really needing any extra-curricular distractions to deal with, Leicester City spent themorning limbering up for Tuesday evening's big Champions League quarter-final second legger against Atletico Madrid.

Helpful then, that BT Sports had Peter Schmeichel in attendance to oversee his son Kasper and the rest of the Foxes going through their paces.

Arsenal: Sanchez And Ozil On Target As Gunners Battle To Much Needed Win In Middlesbrough (Video)

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Arsenal secured a hard-fought three points at the Riverside Stadium on Monday night, a result which stops the rot for the north Londoners and keeps them in the hunt for a top four place.

Arsene Wenger switched to a back three for the away trip, with Rob Holding joining Laurent Koscielny and Gabriel in the centre, with Nacho Monreal and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain the wing-backs.

Championship Snapshot: Brighton & Hove Albion All But Secure Promotion To The Premier League…

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Almost 20 years to the day that they were half-an-hour from slipping out of the Football League entirely, Brighton & Hove Albion have gone and all but secured themselves promotion to the Premier League.

With the result of Huddersfield's late kick-off still pending, Brighton's 2-1 win over Wigan saw them strengthentheir place at the top of the Championship and more importantly go 12 points clear of The Terriers in third place.

Chelsea: Goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois Suffered Ankle Injury While Filming ‘Promotional Basketball Video’

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The keen-eyed amongst you may have noticed that Asmir Begovic made his very first Premier League appearance of the season betwixt the sticks for Chelsea as Antonio Conte's went down 2-0against Manchester United on Sunday afternoon.

This was because the Blues' first-choice goalkeeper, Thibaut Courtois, was ruled out of the vital match with an ankle injury.

‘Don’t Laugh, Okay?’ – Celtic Legend Kolo Toure Unwittingly Reveals Musical Guilty Pleasure During Press Conference (Video)

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Kolo Toure is a one-man maverick this we know. He walks to the beat of his own drum, hacks down the Arsenal royalty he wants to hack down, and bloody well answers the questions he wants to answer during his press conferences.

To that end, the question that was actually put to Toure during a recent presser was which, of all the myriad fan chants he'd heard sung in his footballing career, was his favourite.

Official: John Terry To Leave Chelsea At End Of The Season After 22 Years Of Loyal Service

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After several months of umming and ahhing, Chelsea and John Terry have jointly announced that they will be parting company come the end of the season.

In a joint-statement released via the Blues website, the club thanked Terry for his 22 years of dedicated service, though the player made no mention of whether he intends to play on elsewhere.

La Liga: Tony Adams Gets Off To Losing Start As Celta Viga Beat Granada 3-0 (Video)

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Tony Adams' La Liga adventure got off to a rotten start on Sunday, with his Granada side losing 3-0 at home to a weakened Celta Vigo who made 10 changes to their starting line-up ahead of their Europa League game on Thursday,

Adams made La Liga history ahead of kick-off, naming a side comprising of 11 different nationalities, albeit without a single Spanish player.

Liverpool: Albert Moreno Misses Open Goal But Reds Still Beat West Brom (Video)

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Liverpool moved up to third in the Premier League table after beating West Brom 1-0 at the Hawthorns.

However, the Reds should have won the game by a greater margin, only for Alberto Moreno to make an absolute mess of a gilt-edged chance at the death.

Roberto Firmino scored the only goal of the game at the end of the first period, heading home after Lucas had flicked on a James Milner free-kick.

Real Madrid: Isco Scores 90th-Minute Winner, Delivers Special ‘I Love You’ Sign Language Message To Young Fan With Deaf Parents (Video)

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Two goals (including alast-minute winner) from Isco saw Real Madrid come from behind not once but twice to beat Sporting Gijon andremain three points (and a game in hand) clear of Barcelona at the top of La Liga.

Without Cristiano Ronaldo, Karim Benzema or Gareth Bale in the starting line-up, it was left to Isco to pull the strings with the 24-year-old attacking midfielder proving once again that he is far too good to be left to wither on the bench.

Scotland: Alex Schalk Produces Strong Contender For Dive Of The Season As Ross County Draw With Celtic (Video)

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Champions Celtic were held to a controversial 2-2 draw in Sunday's Scots Prem clash away to Ross County.

The Bhoys looked to be headed for yet another win when Ross County's Alex Schalk pulled off an outrageous dive to earn his side a penalty.

Celtic took the lead through Kieran Tierney before Michael Gardyne headed home an equaliser in the second-half.

League One: Sheffield United Crowned Champions After Bolton Lose To Oldham (Video)

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Sheffield United were crowned League One champions on Saturday, after second-placed Bolton Wanderers lost away from home to 10-man Oldham Athletic.

Courtesy of their 3-0 win away to Port Vale on Friday, the Blades were 12 points clear at the top of the second-tier table.

STAT OF THE DAY ⚪️⚫️⚔ #twitterblades #ForgedInSteel pic.

MLS: Ex-Everton ‘Keeper Tim Howard Banned For Three Games After Calling Fan A “Motherf*****”

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Ex-Everton star Tim Howard has found himself on the wrong end of a three game ban after the Colorado Rapids 'keeper apparently called an opposition fan a "motherf*****".

The incident happened during Colorado's clash with Sportin Kansas City last week at theChildren's Mercy Park.

Stoke: Xherdan Shaqiri Nets Absolute Beauty As Potters Beat Hull 3-1 (Video)

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Stoke City eased their relegation fears with a convincing 3-1 win at home to Hull City on Saturday, with Xherdan Shaqiri netting an absolute stunner for the Potters.

Shaqiri's wonder-strike was the last goal of a game which saw Marko Arnautovic open the scoring on six minutes, via a thumping effort before centre-half Harry McGuire levelled the scores for the Tigers.

‘I Was Tired From Running’ – Exhaustion Leads David Villa To Score 50-Yard Super-Looper Goal Against Philadelphia Union (Video)

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New York City beat Philadelphia Union 2-0 on Friday night to clamberback to the top of the MLSEastern Conference table.

Indeed, it looked like Jack Harrison's 52nd-minute opener was shaping up to be the only goal of the match right up until David Villa doubled New York's tally in the final minute of normal time with a proper belter of a strike.

Granada: Hilarious Footage Emerges Of Tony Adams’ First Training Session With La Liga Stragglers (Video)

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Having taken over as head coach just a fewdays ago, Tony Adams has wasted absolutelyzero timemaking his inimitable presence felt at Granada.

Firstly, the ex-Arsenal skipper added a bit of grittyBritish backbone to the Spanish side's struggling squad in the shape of Kieran Richardson and Nigel Reo-Coker, who hasn't playedany competitive footballin almost two years.

Official: Everton Join Liverpool In Banning The Sun From Their Premises In Light Of Deplorable Ross Barkley Attack

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Everton have joined Liverpool in banning The Sun newspaper from their premises in light of columnist Kelvin MacKenzie's appalling hatchet job on Ross Barkley published on Friday.

MacKenzie brandedthe Toffees midfielder as one of England's "dimmest" footballers and likened his "lack of reflection" to that of "a gorilla in a zoo", while an accompanying caption referred to him as "the missing link between man and beast".

Everton: The Sun Suspend Kelvin MacKenzie Over ‘Racist And Prehistoric’ Ross Barkley Hatchet Job

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The Sun have suspended former editor Kelvin MacKenzie over a truly despicable, unprovoked column in which, among other things, Ross Barkley was described as "thick" and "the missing link."

As you're probably aware, McKenzie is utterly loathedon Merseyside for his reprehensible, unrepentant conduct during The Sun's coverage of the Hillsborough disaster and the subsequent 27-year legal battle for justicefought by the victims' families thereafter.

Reports: Arsenal Secure Pre-Contract Agreement With Schalke Left-Back Sead Kolasinac

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Word emanating from Bosnia is that Arsenal may have gone out and ring-fenced a rather handy little defensive acquisition.

Indeed, the BIHscout.ba database (via Football London) are reporting that the Gunners have secured a pre-contract agreement with Schalke left-back Sead Kolasinac.

The 23-year-old Bosnian international defender is said to feature prominently on both Chelsea and Manchester United's summer transfer hit-lists, though it would appear that Arsenal have secured themselves first dibs.

Championship: Nick Powell Emerges From Bench To Score 10-Minute Hat-Trick As Wigan Come From Behind To Snaffle Vital Win Against Barnsley (Video)

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Nick Powell emerged from the bench to score a 10-minute hat-trick as Wigan came from 2-0 down to beatBarnsley in the Championship on Thursday evening.

Having fallen two goals behind on the hour-mark, the Latics sent Powell on for the last 23 minutes and the ex-Manchester United midfielder duly pulled them out of the hole to secure a much-neededthree points.

Europa League: Lyon’s Quarter-Final Against Besiktas Delayed By 45 Minutes After Fans Spill Onto Pitch To Escape Ugly Crowd Violence (Photos & Video)

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Kick-off of Thursday night's Europa League quarter-final between Lyon and Besiktas had to be delayed by 45 minutes after crowd trouble marred the opening to proceedings.

Police were deployed as pockets of violence were reported outside the Parc OL and the trouble was limited to the concourse, as fans brawled in the tribune behind the goal as the players warmed up.

Newcastle’s New 125th Anniversary Home Shirt Looks Like A Bobby Dazzler In Waiting (Photos)

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Photo via Footy Headlines

Based on the leaked images they've seen in recent weeks, Footy Headlines have gone ahead and mocked up an image of whatthey expect Newcastle United's new 125th anniversary shirt will look like.

With a strict monochrome design, narrowed stripes and a polo collar, the 2017/18 Toon jersey will hark back to a simpler, better time a time when the front of their kits weren't plastered with tacky adverts for loan sharks and leisurewear workhouses.

‘It Was The Longest And Hardest 15 Minutes Of My Life’ – Marc Bartra Publishes Touching Instagram Update From Hospital Bed

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After undergoing surgery on a broken arm, Marc Bartra is currently still recovering in hospital after being injured during the explosive attack on the Borussia Dortmund team busjust hours beforeTuesday night's Champions League tie against Monaco.

Bartra suffered a fractured radial bone and had to have debris removed from his hand but, after being visited by his partner Melissa and their daughter Gala, the Spanish defender has since emitted a personal update from his hospital bed to assure fans that he's okay.

Champions League: Dogged Leicester Keep Semi-Final Hopes Alive After 1-0 Defeat In Madrid (Video)

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Leicester City produced a fine defensive display in their first-ever Champions League quarter-final game against Atletico Madrid, with the Premier League champions suffering only a 1-0 defeat at the Vicente Calderon.

Not surprisingly, Atletico were the dominant side throughout, with Koke hitting the frame of the goal in the first-half.

Same Old Nonsense As PFA Announce Shortlists For ‘Player Of The Year’ And ‘Young Player Of The Year’ Awards

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Photo: @PFA/Twitter

The PFA have once again bestowed us with the requisite shortlists for both their 'Player of the Year' and their 'Young Player of the Year' award.

The senior trinket will be doled outto either Eden Hazard, N'Golo Kante, Harry Kane, Alexis Sanchez, Romelu Lukaku or Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Champions League: Jamie Vardy Finished Leicester’s Quarter-Final Against Atletico Madrid With 0% Pass Completion Rate (Photo)

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It's fair to say that Jamie Vardy had a tough time of it during Leicester City's Champions League quarter-final first leg against Atletico Madrid at the Vicente Calderon.

Tasked with blindly chasing down humped long ball after humped long balland with Atletico's bench desperately trying to get him booked for the entire duration, Vardy was almost entirely corralled out of the game by Stefan Savic and Diego Godin.

Phoenix Rising FC: Didier Drogba Joins Star-Studded USL Franchise As Player/Co-Owner

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Didier Drogba has signed on for United Soccer League (USL) side Phoenix Rising as both a player and a co-owner.

Phoenix have just begun their fourth season in the USL, the second tier of the US league system, but are currently bidding against 12 other clubs for one of two available MLS franchise expansion berths.

Official: Premier League Rumour Mill Takes Devastating Hit As Paulo Dybala Signs Massive New Juventus Contract

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Hear that? That faint moaning is every Premier Leaguetabloid gossip column hack weeping in unison at the news that the man who was poised to provide a fairbulk of their summer mileage has been taken off the market.

Fresh from scoring twice in Tuesday's thrashing of Barcelona, Paulo Dybala has signed a new and improved contract with Juventus through to 2022.

Non-League: Billericay Town Owner Orchestrates Cringe-Inducing Motivational Sing-Song Ahead Of Ryman League Cup Final (Video)

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Image: Billericay Town TV

Ahead of his team's big Ryman League cup final clash with Tonbridge Angels on Wednesday evening,Billericay Town owner Glenn Tamplin waded into the dressing room to deliver a powerful burst of motivational noise.

After taking over the Blues last December, Tamplin promptly set about pumping thousands of pounds of his own money into the club with the vision of turning them into a non-league powerhouse.

Europa League: Man Utd Concede Late Equaliser After Dominant Display In Belgium (Video)

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Manchester United produced a fine display away to Anderlecht on Thursday night, only to concede a late equaliser which keepsBelgians in the tie.

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Anderlecht started well, withFrank Acheampong a threat on the flanks.

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However, the Red Devils soon started to take control, withJesse Lingard hitting the woodwork and Senegalese internationalKara Mbodji producing a number of superb tackles to keep United at bay.

Champions League: Monaco Starlet Mbappe Nets Brace In Five-Goal Thriller In Dortmund (Video)

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After yesterday's frightening scenes, the rescheduled quarter-final first-leg clash between Borussia Dortmund and Monaco on Wednesday night proved to be a thrilling encounter.

Dortmund boss Thomas Tuchel admitted he would've liked more time to prepare his players for the quickly rearranged game and the Bundesliga giants started slowly against a vibant Monaco side.

Energy FC: It’s Not Everyday You See A Bicycle Kick Goal With A ‘Flip Thrown-In’ Assist (Video)

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Having failed to score in his first three games for OKC Energy FC, forward Miguel Gonzalez opened his account with gusto against Sacramento Republic in the United Soccer League on Tuesday evening.

Indeed, Gonzalez's outrageous effort proved to be the only goal of the game and featured the ultra rare combination of a flip throw-in assist and an acrobatic bicycle kick finish.

Faith Restored: Dortmund Fans Lay On Fabulous Hospitality For Stranded Monaco Supporters Using #BedsForAwayFans Twitter Campaign

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Photo: @Vespafoto (via @ASMonaco/Twitter)

While the enforced cancellation of Tuesday night's Champions League quarter-final between Borussia Dortmund and Monaco was obviously a distressing turn of events, there did at least emerge from the morass a shining beacon of hope for humanity.

As you're doubtlessly aware, the match was abandoned after the Dortmund bus was caught up in a series of explosions en route to Signal Iduna Park before kick-off.

‘Everything Went Well’ – Dortmund Confirm Marc Bartra Underwent Surgery On Broken Arm After Team Bus Attack

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Borussia Dortmund have confirmed that Marc Bartra is fine and recovering well after being the only person injured duringTuesday night's attack on their team bus.

It was widely reported that Bartra was injured by glass that was smashed by the explosions, with Dortmund revealing that the Spanish defender suffered a broken arm.

Granada: New Coach Tony Adams Ushers In Brave New Age Of Excellence By Taking Nigel Reo-Coker And Kieran Richardson On Trial (Photo)

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Photo: @Granada_CF/Twitter

He's only been in the job five minutes and already Tony Adams is revolutionising things from the ground up atGranada CF.

At hisintroductory press conference, the former Arsenal defender vowed to use his "40 years of experience" (he's only 50-years old) to give the struggling squad a "kick up the arse".

Aberdeen-Based Youth Team Lose Football In River Dee, Washes Up 1,000 Miles Away On Remote Norwegian Island (Photo)

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Photo: BBC North East Scotland, Orkney & Shetland

When a waywardshotwas sent soaringover the fenceand into the River Dee, aptly-named Scottish football club Banks o' Dee FC simply resigned themselves to losingthat football forever.

However, the Aberdeen-based Under-19s team have since been reunited with the ball after it was discovered washed up on the other side of both the North and the Norwegian Sea.

Champions League: Dybala At The Double As Juventus Dominate Barcelona In Turin (Video)

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Juventus find themselves firmly in the driving seat of their quarter-final tie with Juventus after the Italians put three past the Spanish giants in Turin on Tuesday night.

Paulo Dybala was the star of the show for the Serie A giants, with the 23-year-old Argentine attacker opening the scoring after just seven minutes, courtesy of a deft curling effort.

Champions League: Quarter-Final In Jeopardy After Dortmund Team Bus Involved In Explosion In Street Close To Stadium

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Borussia Dortmund's Champions League quarter-final first leg against Monaco has been plunged into doubt after the Dortmund team bus was involved in an explosion en routeto the stadium.

The incident was first reported by Dortmund's official Twitter account...

Bei Abfahrt unseres Busses hat sich ein Vorfall ereignet.

‘They’re A Team Of Son-In-Laws’ – Jamie Carragher Goes In Hard On Arsenal After Dreadful Display Against Crystal Palace (Video)

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Jamie Carragher was in fine, aggravated form on Sky Sportslast night, with Arsenal once again providing the pundit with plenty of ammunition thanks to a risible display against Crystal Palace.

Referencing aGraeme Sounness remark from back in 2015 (not much has changed since), Carragher branded the Gunnersa "team of son-in-laws" as he took Arsene Wenger's limp side apart in the post-match analysis.

Emmanuel Adebayor Scores Hat-Trick As Basaksehir Wallop Galatasaray 4-0 In Turkish Super Lig (Video)

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While Arsenal were busy labouring to a dire defeat against Crystal Palace on Monday evening, one of their old boys was running riot over in the Turkish Super Lig.

Indeed, Emmanuel Adebayor helped himself to a hat-trick as hisBasaksehir side stuffed Galatasaray by four goals to zip.

The slew began with an 11th-minute tap-in before a couple of powerful headers either side of half-time saw the Togolese target man take his tally to five goals in five appearances for his new side.

QPR Forced To Cancel ‘Player Of The Year’ Awards Event Despite Fans Demanding Its Return After Six-Year Absence

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QPR have unfortunately been forced to cancel their 'Player of the Year' award ceremony due to lamentably low ticket sales.

The club haven't held an end-of-season award show for the past six years, but reintroduced it to the calendar this season after giving in to fan demand.

However, with tickets priced at £119, the very same supporters have ostensibly told the R's where to shove their glitzy bash.

Football Tat: Tottenham Would Like To Sell You 3D-Printed Models Of Their Players For £95 A Pop (Photos)

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Ever wished you could recreate the joyous scene above in miniature and in the privacy of your own home? Yep, we all have.

Thankfully, Tottenham have made what was once just a fool's dream into a reality by offering the fans to purchase 3D-printed models of several of their first-team players.

FAIL: Mesut Ozil Pings Sumptuous Pass Out To Arsenal Substitute Warming Up On The Touchline (Video)

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As if to capture Arsenal's miserable defeat against Crystal Palace in microcosm, here's the moment Mesut Ozil took his time, looked up, surveyed the lay of the land in an instant and pinged a truly sumptuous trademark pass out to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on the left wing.

Unfortunately for the floaty light German midfielder, the Oxhadyet to come on as a substitute at that point.

In Response To Arsenal Whining, Long-Suffering Darlington Fan Describes What Supporting A Properly Inept Club Entails

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Rendered aghast at Arsenal fans descending into apoplexyover the prospect of not finishing in the top four of the Premier League for the first time since 1995, one long-suffering Darlington supporter decided to catalogue the misery he has witnessed over the years.

In order to detail what it's like to support a club who are actually hopeless, Darlo supporterJoe Kennedy produced the mother of all Twitter threads a testament to what it is to really suffer as a football fan.

Serie A: Palermo Make Fifth Managerial Change Of Season, Diego Lopez Fired After Just 10 Matches In Charge

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Maurizio Zamparini might not be the man with his finger on the trigger anymore, but it would appear that Palermo's new president is just as fidgety as his infamously impatient predecessor.

Indeed, Paul Baccaglini has popped his cherry and authorisedhisfirst managerial dismissaljust four weeks into his presidential tenure, firing Diego Lopez as head coach after just 10 matches in charge.

Arsenal: Pressure Mounts On Arsene Wenger As Feeble Gunners Humiliated By Crystal Palace (Video)

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Arsenal produced yet another appallingly flaccid performance at Selhurst Park on Monday night, with hosts Crystal Palace running out deserved 3-0 winners.

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The Gunners were hoping to build on their 3-0 midweek win against West Ham, but instead were no match for an energetic and vibrant Palace, with star men Mesuot Ozil and Alexis Sanchez disappointing throughout.

Non-League: Ex-Tottenham Midfielder Jamie O’Hara Scores Excellent Overhead Kick For Billericay Town (Video)

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Photo: @BTFC/Twitter

Jamie O'Hara scored a rather splendid overhead kick in the Ryman Premier League over the weekend though sadly it wasn't enough to prevent his Billericay Town team falling to a 4-2 defeat against Enfield Town.

Having seen his top-flight career curtailed by a succession of injuries, the former Tottenham, Portsmouth and Wolves midfielderis now keeping his eye in down at Billericay, where he playsalongside fellow ex-Premier League icon Paul Konchesky.

Bayern Munich: Carlo Ancelotti Puts Abrupt End To Franck Ribery Substitution Sulk With Tender Kiss And Cuddle (Video)

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Bayern Munich spanked an injury-hit Borussia Dortmund on Saturday night to go 10 points clear at the top of the Bundesliga.

Franck Ribery opened the scoring after just four minutes, with goals from Robben and Robert Lewandowski (2) fleshing out the winning margin in Bayern's favour.

With the score already at 4-1, Carlo Ancelotti decided to haul Ribery off for the final 15 minutes a decision that didn't sit too well with the grumpy French winger.

Woolly Bullies: Marauding Sheep Interrupt Play During Welsh Alliance League Match (Video)

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Image: @WalesAwayDays/Twitter

Resisting the urge to resort to national stereotypes, the recent Welsh lower-league tie between CPD Llanberis and Llandudno Junction FC was momentarily interrupted by a pair of woolly hooligans wooligans, if you will.

Indeed, play was brought to a halt when the marauding pair came gallivanting onto the pitch midway through the Alliance League Division One fixture.

‘We Couldn’t See Through The Smoke’ – Stoke Fan Offers Up Interesting Theory About His Side’s Late Capitulation Against Liverpool (Video)

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Having gone 1-0 up just before half-time, Stoke came within 20 minutes of pulling off a shock win over Liverpool only to see Roberto Firmino and Philippe Countinho emerge from the bench and snaffle a late win for Jurgen Klopp's side.

The result was galling for the Stoke fans, who have now watched their sidefall to four defeats on the bounce as they continue to gradually slide ever closer to the relegation quagmire.

‘Best Goal Of My Career’ – Gary Neville Scores Nonchalant Flicked Volley During Kick-About In Singapore (Video)

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Photo: Facebook

Former Manchester United teammates Gary Neville and Ryan Giggs spent last week out in Singapore overseeing the launch of the latest addition to their 'Hotel Football' business venture.

As part of the launch event, both Neville and Giggs took part in the 'Cafe Football Cup Final' a glorified kick-about between two teams of local players.

Official: Tony Adams Hired As Granada Head Coach, Wears Truly Hideous Suit For The Occasion (Photo)

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Photo: @SquawkaNews/Twitter

Granada have confirmed thatTony Adams has taken over as head coachfor the remainder of the season.

Earlier today, theSpanishclub sacked previous incumbent Lucas Alvarez with the team second bottom of La Liga thanks to a largely wretched run of results.

Arsenal: Gunners Loanee Dan Crowley Scores Beauty In Dutch Eredivisie (Video)

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Dan Crowley gave Arsene Wenger a reminder of his undoubted talent at the weekend, with the Arsenal teen netting a fine effort for loan club Go Ahead Eagles in the Dutch top-flight.

Picking up the ball on the left side of the box, the 19-year-old cut onto his right foot before deftly curling the ball into the top corner of the Heracles net.

Mexico: Chivas Winger Carlos Fierro Pinches Ball From Puebla ‘Keeper To Win Game In Incredible Last Minute Drama (Video)

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Carlos Fierro produced one of the most incredible last-gasp winners of the season at the weekend, with the Chivas winger picking the pocket of Puebla goalkeeper Cristian Campestrini to net an injury-time winner.

The Liga MX clash was headed for a 2-2 draw, with the game well into injury time, when Argentinian glovesmanCampestrini prepared to launch the ball upfield.

Man Utd: Ibrahimovic On Target As Red Devils Push 10-Man Sunderland Closer To Relegation (Video)

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Ex-Manchester United boss David Moyes watched his side edge closer to the Championship on Sunday, with his Sunderland side beaten 3-0 at home to Manchester United.

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The Red Devils took the lead on the half-hour mark, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic (far too easily) turning his marker before arrowing the ball into the far corner from just outside the box.

Real Madrid: Cristiano Ronaldo Scares Bejesus Out Of Mascot With Sudden And Unexpected Pre-Match Leap (Video)

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Real Madrid toiled to a 1-1 draw against cross-city chums Atletico on Saturdayevening to narrowly bolstertheir lead at the top of La Liga.

However, the real action came before kick-off when Cristiano Ronaldo scared the living daylights out of his player mascot with a sudden and unexpected power leap.

Brazilliant! Subs Coutinho And Firmino Save Liverpool As Reds Come Back To Win 2-1 v Stoke (Photos & Video)

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Liverpool came from behind against Stoke on Saturday to win 2-1 and keep their hopes of a top-four finish well and truly alive.

The Brazilian duo of Philippe Coutinho and Roberto Firmino were the saviours for the Reds, both coming on at half to net a goal each and cancel out Jonathan Walters' opener.

Chelsea: Marcos Alonso Nets Sublime Free-Kick v Bournemouth As Blues Stay On Course For Title (Video)

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After Tottenham's comprehensive 4-0 drubbing of Watford earlier in the day, Chelsea found themselves just four points clear of the Lilywhites before their last game against Bournemouth.

However, Antonio Conte's side eased past the Cherries, registering a 3-1 victory at the Vitality Stadium, with Marcos Alonso netting a cracking free-kick.

OGC Nice: Mario Balotelli Celebrates Scoring Twice Against Lille By Knee-Sliding Through Airport Security (Video)

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Surprise package Nice kept the pressure on Monaco at the top of the Ligue 1 pile with a 2-1 away victory at Lille on Friday evening.

Both of Les Aiglons' goals came courtesy of one Mario Balotelli, with the once-waywardItalian striker notching his 14th and 15th of the season so far in the space of 24 appearances.

Tottenham: Dele Alli Nets Curling Cracker And Son Bags Belting Brace As Lilywhites Cruise Past Watford At White Hart Lane (Video)

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Spurs kept the pressure on league leaders Chelsea on Saturday, courtesy of a comfortable win against Watford at White Hart Lane.

Dele Alli was the man to break the deadlock in the first-half, netting a sumptuous goal as the youngster's super season continues.

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Alli's goal came just after the half-hour mark, via a magnificent curling effort from outside the box which sailed over the head of former Tottenham 'keeper Heurelho Gomes.

Dressed To Shill: Brazilian Team Forgo Squad Numbers To Play With Supermarket Price Offers On Back Of Shirts (Photo)

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In the relentless quest to milk as much money out of shirt sponsors as possible, Brazilian side Flu de Feira came up with a novel way in which to shill for the local supermarket chain.

For Wednesday evening's Serie D clash against Bahia, Flu took to the pitch wearing jerseys that featured several special price offers.

Shakhtar Donetsk Have Ukrainian Cup Quarter-Final Cancelled After Opponents Provide Truly Abysmal Pitch (Photo)

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Photo: @FC_Shakhtar/Twitter

Shakhtar Donetsk saw their Ukrainian Cup quarter-final tie against FC Poltava cancelled entirely due to the truly appalling state of the latter's home pitch.

The fixture was due to take place on Wednesday evening until Shakhtar caught sight of Poltava's barren, grass-less monstrosity for the first time and flat-out refused to play on it.

Eredivisie: Multi-Tasking Father Bottle Feeds Newborn Baby While Watching Roda JC Match (Video)

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There was some seriously impressive multi-tasking going on in the terraces during Roda JC's Eredivisie tie against PEC Zwolle on Thursday night.

With one eye on bottle-feeding his newborn baby and one eye on the tense midfield action, this utility-dad really put in a shift...


Arsenal: Several ‘Wenger Out’ Banners Spotted At Anti-Government Protest March In South Africa (Photos)

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From dance musical festivals in Miami to New Zealand to bloody Wrestlemania, the 'Wenger Out' campaign has truly taken on global meme appeal.

The latest instance of anti-Wenger sentiment popping up in unlikely environs has come during today's nationwide protests against incumbent South African president Jacob Zuma.

Retro Football: Jeremy Clarkson Attends His Very First Football Match – Doncaster Rovers vs Frickley Athletic, 1998 (Video)

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Photos: Getty Images/Press Association

Filminga segment forhis short-lived eponymous chat show, Jeremy Clarkson broke his duck and attended his very first football match in 1998.

Indeed, the Top Gear host paid a visit to his hometown club, Doncaster Rovers (bottom of the Conference at the time), to take in their FA Trophy tie against Frickley Athletic at Belle Vue in deepest, darkest November.

Torino Salute Andrea Belotti’s Outstanding Debut Season By Presenting Striker With Swarovski Crystal Rooster (Photo)

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While the name might not be instantly familiar, Andrea Belotti has been enjoying a proper old-fashioned breakthrough debut season at Torino this term.

Having signed from Palermo for the earnest fee of just€7.5million back in August,the 23-year-old striker is currently level-pegging with Edin Dzekoat the top of the Serie A goalscoring charts, with 23 goals to his name so far.

Man Utd: Jesse Lingard Agrees New Long-Term Contract Worth £100,000-A-Week

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While nothing is concrete quite yet, it's being reported that Jesse Lingard is close to signing a new long-term ontract at Manchester United that will seethe young forward reapa rather significant wage bump.

According to Sky Sports, Lingard, who joined United as an eight-year-old, has tentatively agreed a new four-year deal with his boyhood club that will earn him £100,000-a-week, thus tripling his current wages.

Impact Sub: Napoli’s Dries Mertens Scores Roughly Eight Seconds After Coming On As Substitute Against Juventus (Video)

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Juventus just about squeaked through to the Coppa Italia final by edging out Napoli on aggregate come the end ofWednesday evening's semi-final second leg.

Carrying over a 3-1 lead from the first leg, Juvefell to a 3-2 defeat at the Stadio San Paolo two goals from popular Napoli old boy Gonzalo Higuain ensuringanoverall victory for the Old Lady.

‘F**king Disastrous Mate’ – West Ham Fan Drops Truly Formidable Number Of F-Bombs During Spirited Post-Match Rant (Video)

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Arsenal aren't the only fanbase with a Youtube-based platform on which to air theirincessant whining, as West Ham duly proved last night.

In the aftermath oftheir side's uninspiring home3-0 defeat againstthe Gunners,West Ham Fan TV soughta little post-match reflection from Tom.

Let’s Hear It For… Hull City Coach Marco Silva!

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Hull City were rock bottom of the league when little known, little fancied Marco Silva (forren) replaced Mike Phelan (British) at the beginning of January.

All the usual apprehensionwas expressed over the 39-year-old Portuguese coach'sappointment his tender years, his supposedly iffygrasp of English, his relatively limited prior experience, and of chief concern for Paul Merson and his ilk the fact that if we've never heard of 'im, how could 'epossibly know the league, Jeff?

Twenty’s Plenty Campaign: The FSF Strike Deal With Virgin Media To Cap All Premier League Away Tickets At £20 For First Time

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Thanks to the tireless work of the Football Supporters' Federation (The FSF), away fans of all Premier League clubs will see their ticket price capped at £20 over the next few weeks.

The Premier League had already agreed to cap away tickets at £30 for the next three seasons, but theThe FSF have now struck another deal with Virgin Media that will see travelling fans reimbursed when they pay over £20 for a single fixture at any top-flight club.

Dortmund: Marc Bartra Meets ‘Lone Fan’ Tracked Down On Twitter Only To Be Usurped By Her Schalke-Supporting Husband (Photos)

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As you may recall, Marca Bartra launched a Twitter crusade earlier in the week in a bid to track down the one lone, brave Dortmund fan spotting sitting among a sea of Schalke supporters during last Saturday's Ruhr derby.

Photo: @MarcBartra/Twitter

Bartra's quest was a success, with the Dortmund defender eventually being put in touchwith Steffi Adam-Paap so he couldinvite her on a VIP trip to the club's training ground.

FAIL: Referee Disallows Newcastle Penalty Goal Before Bizarrely Awarding Free-Kick To Burton (Video)

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Newcastle United went back to the top of the Championship on Wednesday night, courtesy of a hard-fought 1-0 win at home to Burton Albion.

However, despite the win, Rafa Benitez and co. were left fuming after referee Keith Stroud made an utter dog's dinner of a Matt Ritchie penalty kick.

La Liga: Ex-Liverpool Striker Fernando Torres Produces Horror Miss For Atletico Madrid (Video)

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In a week of dreadful misses, over in Spain, ex-Chelsea and Liverpool forward Fernando Torres put forward yet another contender for 'Miss of the Season' in Atletico Madrid's 1-0 win against Real Sociedad in midweek.

After slick build-up play which included a nifty flick from Antoine Griezmann, winger Yannick Carrasco produced a superb low cross which found its way to Torres on the far post.

Liverpool Concede Late To Draw With Bournemouth, Take First Prize In ‘Most Poorly-Timed Tweet Of The Night’ Stakes (Photo)

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Jurgen Klopp was left befuddled on the Anfield touchline as he watched his Liverpool side concede late on to relinquish all three points against Bournemouth on Wednesday evening.

After Divock Origi put them ahead on the hour mark, the Reds were 2-1 up and relatively comfortable for the remainder of the half right up until the moment Josh King popped up with an 87th-minute equaliser for the visitors.

Chelsea: John Stones Misses Sitter As Blues Stay On Course For Title With 2-1 Win Against Man City (Video)

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John Stones had a gilt-edged chance to throw the Premier League title race wide open at Stamford Bridge, only for the Man City centre-half to somehow fire over from all over five yards out with the score at 2-1 to Chelsea.

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The chance came at the death, with City pushing for an equaliser against title favourites Chelsea.

End Of An Era: Coventry City Terminate Yakubu’s Contract After 51 Long, Action-Packed Days

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Proving that some things are just to perfect to last, Coventry City have today agreed to mulch the remainder of Yakubu's contract.

The Nigerian legend signed for the Sky Blues on 13th February on a deal that supposed to run until the end of the season.

However, having made just three appearances (69 minutes in total; zero starts, zero goals) since then, the League Two side have decided to release the Yak back into the wild.

‘He Used His Body And My Brain’ – Jose Mourinho Compliments(?) Luke Shaw’s Cameo Performance Against Everton

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Despite his manager's insistence that he wasn't even ready for a spot on the bench, Luke Shaw did eventually feature for Manchester United in their 1-1 draw against Everton on Tuesday night.

Making only his secondappearance since January, Shaw replaced Ashley Young for the final 25 minutes as United went onto salvage a 94th-minute equaliser at Old Trafford.

FAIL: Stoke Midfielder Charlie Adam Suffers Little Whoopsie-Daisy While Taking Corner Against Burnley (Video)

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Despite looking like a 50-year-oldman who brusheshis teeth with supermarket Scotch, Charlie Adam is still making a living as a Premier League footballer.

Of course, looks can be deceiving as it's Adam's deft midfield playmaking nous that keeps him in work.

Take this exquisite in-swinging corner against Burnley last night for example.

Reports: Andrea Pirlo To Join Chelsea Coaching Staff As Of Next Season

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As anybody who has witnessed him in "action" for New York City over the past year or so will duly attest, Andrea Pirlo effectively retireda while ago now.

Indeed, with the 37-year-old midfielder having now dwindled to an insouciant saunter, it's being rumoured that he's finally about to shuffle off the footballing coil and into the coaching racket.

Cavalcade Of Calamity: XI Of The Worst Corner Kicks Ever Attempted (Video)

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With a humble tip of the hat toCharlie Adam's set-piece finesse against Burnley last night, Pies have cobbled together a small compendium of some of the worst corner kicks ever attempted on grass.

Without further ado, let's get cracking.

Juan Carlos (Real Betis)

Safe to say, if you're not even making it out of thequadrant then you're probably not doing it right.

FAIL: Aberdeen Forward Miles Storey Somehow Manages To Miss Open Goal From Five Centimetres Out (Video)

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Photo: Aberdeen FC

Aberdeen needed an own-goal to beat Inverness in the Scottish Premiership on Tuesday evening which, given the standard of finishing on show at Pittodrie, wasn't overly surprising.

To that end, young forward Miles Storey had a night to forget despite onlycoming on for the final 10 minutes of the match.

‘You’re Getting Slapped In The Morning’ – Leicester Fans Aim Cheeky Chant At David Moyes After Sunderland Lose 2-0 At King Power Stadium

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David Moyes has endured a torrid week, with the fall-out from his infamous 'slapgate' still being felt.

Staring relegation in the face, Moyes and his Sunderland side needed a good result away to Leicester only Tuesday night, only to lose the game 2-0, with the Black Cats boss also finding himself on the wrong end of a cheeky chant from the home fans.

Man Utd: Late, Late Ibrahimovic Penalty Earns Point For Hosts After Disjointed Display v Everton At Old Trafford (Video)

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Manchester United secured a last-gasp draw at Old Trafford on Tuesday night, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic converting a spot-kick after Everton's Ashley Williams had literally handed the hosts a share of the spoils.

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Phil Jagielka opened the scoring for the high-flying Toffees on 22 minutes, with the centre-half flicking the ball home after poor defending from United.

Watford: M’Baye Niang Nets Stunning Opener Against West Brom (Video)

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Since making the move to Vicarage Road from AC Milan in January,M'Baye Niang has showed encouraging glimpses of his undoubted talent.

Against West Brom on Tuesday night, the French attacker netted his second goal for Watford, courtesy of an outstanding strike.

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Latching on to a flick on from Troy Deeney, Niang cutting inside before unleashing an stoppable curling effort from just outside the box.

‘Whoever Wants It Can Have It’ – Germany 2006 World Cup Winner’s Podium Found Dumped In Berlin Park (Photo)

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Rather strangely, the very podium on which Italy celebrated winning the 2006 World Cup has been discovered dumped in a park in Berlin.

The white podium, stamped with the FIFA marque, was found tossed by the wayside in theBerlin Olympiapark, close to the Olympiastadion where the final was played.

Bundesliga: Mainz Substitute Giulio Donati Squirts Water Down His Shorts Before Coming On Against Ingolstadt (Video)

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When Martin Schmidt decided to throw Giulio Donati on for the second half of Sunday's Bundesliga game against Ingolstadt, the Mainz coach couldn't have possibly steeled himself for what he was about to witness.

For, as he stood there receiving instruction in the dugout, Donati without batting an eyelid used a water bottle to extinguish the fire burning in his loins.

Arsenal: Presenting The Strangest, Saddest, Most Embarrassing ‘Wenger Out’ Protest Yet (Photos & Video)

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Just when you thought the 'Wenger Out' campaign had reached its nadir, two pillocks in cardboard masks come along to prove you quite wrong.

For outside Arsenal's London Colney training centre at 9am this very morning, journalists were met by this truly embarrassing tableau...

A little scene from colney this morning pic.

Leicester City: Jamie Vardy Seriously Considered Quitting Football Entirely To Become Party Rep In Ibiza

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"£25 gets you entry, two free shots and an hour in the ice bar..."

Leicester City manager Craig Shakespeare has revealed that not so very long ago he had to talk Jamie Vardy out of quitting football entirely.

After finishing as top goalscorer in the Conference Premier whenFleetwood won promotion into the Football League in 2011/12, the Foxes (then of the Championship) took a gamble on signing Vardy, though he initially struggled with the step up and managed a paltry five goals in 29 appearances over the course of 2012/13.

CD Eldense Coach Arrested After Spanish Police Launch Match-Fixing Probe Into Hefty 12-0 Defeat

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Photo: @CD_Eldense/Twitter

Remember yesterday when we brought you news of a defeat so heavythat it causedCD Eldense to withdraw fromthe Spanish third tierwith immediate effect? Well, it would appear that the saga doesn't begin and end there.

The day after the match (i.e, today),Eldense's head coach Filippo di Pierro wasarrested by police who are reportedly chasing upallegations of corruption pertaining to Saturday's Segunda Division B fixture.

Norway: Tromsdalen Play First Match Of Season With 20ft High Wall Of Snow Encircling Their Pitch (Photos)

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Photo: Obos Ligaen

The 2017Norwegian Division 1 campaignkicked off in earnest of the weekend, withTromsdalen playing host to Asanein their very first match of the new season.

The game was played to completion as the home side ran out 2-0 winners this despite there beinga 20-foot high wall of snow around the entire pitch.

Shit Lookalikes: Adama Traore & Vileda Classic Easy-Wring Mop

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Adama Traore debuted a boldnew hairstyle for Middlesbrough's drab 0-0 draw against Swansea on Sunday.

With Pies havingjust purchased a new mop a few days previous, Traore's straggly peroxide 'do looked instantly familiar...

One is highly manoeuvrableand providesa clean, clinical finish 100% of the time.

Marc Bartra Successful In Quest To Track Down Lone Dortmund Fan Sat Amid Sea Of Schalke Supporters During Ruhr Derby

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Saturday saw Schalke 04 welcome local acquaintances Borussia Dortmund to the Veltins Arena for the Ruhr derby, which eventually played out as a 1-1 draw.

However, the breakout star of the game was the one lone Dortmund fan who managed to find herself stranded amid the home fans and an endless sea of blue shirts.

Confirmed: Mike Dean Is A Weirdo (Video)

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File this one under miscellaneous: Mike Dean scoring an absolutely rubbishgoal during a 5-a-side gameand then celebrating like a proper weirdo...

Mike Dean. The man, the myth, the legend. pic.twitter.com/oJX7xvKAUS

— Joe (@jawtonloe) April 2, 2017

The footagewas part of Sky Sports' programme 'The Referees Onside with Carragher and Neville', in which the intrepid pundits investigated just what it takes to be a Premier League match official.

‘He’s A Long Way Behind’ – Man Utd Boss Jose Mourinho Openly Criticises Luke Shaw Over Poor Commitment, Ambition And Focus

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Having madejust eight Premier League appearances so far this season,it's looking increasingly likely that Luke Shaw isn't long for Manchester United.

Now, Jose Mourinho has given the most explicit signal yet that the perennially unfancied £30million left-back's tenure at Old Traffordmay be coming to an end.

CD Eldense: Spanish Third-Tier Club Quit League Entirely After Suffering 12-0 Drubbing Against Barcelona B

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Photo: @CD_Eldense/Twitter

Spare a thought for poor CD Eldense, who on Saturday afternoon suffereda beating so severe that they immediately pulled themselves out of the Spanish third tier as a result.

Eldense took on Segunda Division league leaders Barcelona B knowing that a defeat would seal their relegation.

‘You Still Might Get A Slap Even Though You’re A Woman’ – David Moyes Apologises After Passing Crass Remark To BBC Journalist

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David Moyes has apologised to a BBC Sport reporter after telling her she "might get a slap" during a post-match interview.

Grilling Moyes after Sunderland's 0-0 draw with Burnley in mid-March, Vicki Sparks asked the Scot if the presence of club owner Ellis Short in the stands added anyexcess pressure to get a result.

Joga Bonito: Brazilian Match Produces Magnificent Spectacle For Goalmouth Scramble Purists (Video)

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Image: O Bairrista

Caxias pipped Juventude in theCampeonato Gaucho on Sunday afternoon, smuggling a 1-0 away win to keep themselves within four points of top spot in the Group 1 table.

However, the real highlight of the match was the sensationalgoalmouth scramble that eruptedat one point.

Arsenal: Examining The Utter Madness Of The Militant ‘Wenger Out’ Campaign Phenomenon

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With protest placards popping up in environs as unlikely as New Zealand, Minnesota and Wrestlemania in recent weeks, it would appear that the 'Arsene Wenger Out' campaign is now a truly global undertaking.

While it's unclear how much of the international dissentis simply meme-based mirth, the polemic being fanned in and around the Emirates has now actually devolved into outbreaks of physical violencebetween warring clans on either side of the crevasse.

Galled Gooners Turn On Arsenal Fan TV ‘Stars’ Outside Emirates After Man City Draw (Video)

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Arsenal Fan TV's infamous post-match interviews have become, for better or for worse, one of the more entertaining by-products of the modern footballing world.

However, it seems that the channel's hunger for cheap outrage is starting to push some Arsenal fans over the edge, with a number of unimpressed Gooners deciding to attack main man Robbie and his cohorts outside the Emirates on Sunday.

Arsenal Twice Come From Behind In Entertaining 2-2 Emirates Draw With Man City (Photos & Video)

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After a dire run of form in the Premier League, Arsenal secured a ship-steadyingshare of the spoils against Manchester City at the Emirates on Sunday.

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Man City, hoping to leapfrog Liverpool into third place started superbly against a nervous Arsenal, who were cut open time and time again at the back.

Scottish Premiership: St Johnstone Players Sent Off For Fighting With Each Other, Stadium PA Plays ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ And ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ (Video)

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Hamilton Academical secured a 1-0 win at home to St Johnstone in the Scottish Premiership on Saturday, with Alex D'Acol the scorer of the winning goal.

However, the main drama in the game at New Douglas Park came on the stroke of half-time, with two St Johnstone players seeing red for fighting with each other.

FAIL: Bournemouth’s Harry Arter Skies Penalty In Goalless Draw With Southampton (Video)

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Southampton and Bournemouth played out a disappointing goalless draw at St. Mary's on Saturday, although the Cherries had a great chance late on only for midfielder Harry Arter to make an utter mess of a penalty.

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Arter's match-winning chance came with 13 minutes of the south coast clash to go, with the Republic of Ireland midfielder stepping up to take a spot-kick after Ryan Bertrand had pulled back Ryan Foster.

Airtricity League: St. Patrick’s Athetic Winger Conan Byrne Nets Beckham-Esque Goal From Halway Line v Bohemians (Video)

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Acriss the Irish Sea, St. Patrick's Athletic registered a resounding 4-0 top-tier winagainst Dublin rivals Bohemians at Dalymount Park, with Conan Byrne netting a Beckham-esque stunner from the half-way line.

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Byrne's incredible goal came with St. Pat's already a goal up via Christy Fagan.

Leicester: Shakespeare’s 100% Start Continues As Wilfred Ndidi Scores Cracker v Stoke (Video)

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Leicester continued their 100% record under new boss Craig Shakespeare in the Premier League after a 2-0 win at home to Stoke, withWilfred Ndidi netting a stunner for the Foxes.

Ndidi has been one of the star performers during Leicester's renaissance, with the midfielderstarting to fill theboots of the departed N'Golo Kanté.

Merseyside Derby: Liverpool Coast To 3-1 Victory Over Everton But Lose Sadio Mane To Serious Knee Injury (Photos & Video)

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Liverpool comfortably saw off beloved neighbours Everton in the Premier League's early kick-off to bolster their top-four aspirations by drawing level, at least temporarily, with Tottenham in second place.

Of course, the afternoon's entertainment began with an emotional Anfield chorusof 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in tributeto Liverpool legend Ronnie 'Bugsy' Moran, who passed awayon 22nd March.

For Better Or Worse, Barnet FC Properly Commit To ‘Wash & Go Takeover’ April Fools Gag (Photos & Videos)

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Kevin Nugent poses with the 'Great Barnet' shirt, complete with new crest design

You may wellhave spotted a couple of April Fool's gags floating around in footballing circles today, what with news of Arsene Wenger's shock resignation, Forest Green Rovers going fully vegan,the Chelsea-West Ham groundshare, et al.

Hugo Lloris Sends Signed Jersey And Personal Message To Luxembourg ‘Keeper Who Suffered ACL Injury Against France (Photo)

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After psyching himself up for a big night out, Luxembourg goalkeeper Anthony Moris lasted just 20 minutes of his side's World Cup qualifieragainst France last weekend after rupturinghis knee ligaments in the early knockings of the match.

Indeed Moris, who plays for Belgian club side Mechelen, has since been ruled out for the next eight months, such was the severity of his injury.