Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2016

Tough Cookie: Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez Tweets Gruesome Photos Of Injured Ankle, But Says He’s On The Mend

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Arsenal attacker Alexis Sanchez has posted new, and rather gruesome, photos of the ankle injury he suffered in Chile's Copa America final triumph against Argentina. However, the Chilean forward is upbeat about his recovery, despite the pictures.

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Sanchez picked up the injury after a heavy tackle in extra-time from Argentina's Gabriel Mercado, which could well have broken his ankle.

Euro 2016: Cristiano Ronaldo Side-Steps Pitch Invader As Portugal Beat Poland In Last 16 Shootout (Video)

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After another unentertaining knockout game, Portugal booked their place in the last four of Euro 2016, via a penalty shoot-out against Poland.

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In normal time, Robert Lewandowski finally got off the mark, netting after just two minutes. However, teen sensationRenato Sanches leveled things up just after the half-hour mark.

‘Time To Let The World Know’ – Zlatan Ibrahimovic Confirms He’ll Be Joining Man Utd This Summer

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Well, this is going to be fun.

Via one of his pan-social media announcements, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has pretty much confirmed that he'll be playing under Jose Mourinho at Manchester United next season...

Time to let the world know. My next destination is @manchesterunited #iamcoming

A photo posted by IAmZlatan (@iamzlatanibrahimovic) on Jun 30, 2016 at 7:56am PDT

The hyperbole is going to be off the charts unbearable.

Official: Southampton Appoint Claude Puel As Ronald Koeman’s Replacement

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Southampton have confirmed that their search for Ronald Koeman's successor has ended at Claude Puel, who has today signed a three-year contract to take over as first team manager at St Mary's.

Les Reed, Southampton's impressively effectiveexecutive director,told the club's official website:

The process to appoint a new first team manager has been diligent and meticulous.

Hatchet Job: The Sun Attempt To Pillory Raheem Sterling With Absurd Story About His Crystal-Studded Bathroom Sink

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It's taken them a day or two longer than we expected but The Sun have finally unleashed their obligatory post-tournament England hatchet job this morning.

Raheem Sterling is the focus of the vitriol for flaunting his "obscene" wealth just hours after England's inglorious Euro 2016 exit.

"Shamed winger is seen showing off lavish mansion and expensive fleet of supercars on a Snapchat video," barks the tabloid.

Olympic Swimmer Vows To Swim An Entire Lap Of Iceland If They Manage To Win Euro 2016

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An Olympic swimmer has vowedto swim the entire way around Iceland should England's last-16 overlords achieve the improbable feat of actually winning Euro 2016 outright.

200m freestyle champion Yannick Agnel joked on Twitter that, should Iceland beat his native France in the quarter-finals and go on to win the tournament, he'd brave the freezing seaand swim an entire lap of the island.

Wales Fans Launch Crowdfunding Appeal To Help Pay Off Dean Saunders’ Euro 2016 Parking Fine

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Acrowdfunding drive has been launched to help Dean Saunders pay off a parking ticket that is increasing by £100 a day while Wales remain involved at Euro 2016.

So convinced was Saunders that Wales would exit the tournament at the group stage that he parked his car in the short-stay car park at Birmingham Airport before flying out to France to join the BBC Sport punditry team.

Puma Revive Achingly Beautiful ‘King Maradona’ Boot For Limited Edition Anniversary Run (Photos)

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With the 30th anniversary of Diego Maradona's mesmeric goal (the second one, not the first) against England at the 1986 World Cup passing last week, Puma have decided to mark the occasion by re-releasing one of the finest looking football boots they've ever committed to kangaroo leather.

Maradona sported a pair of eponymous boots upon his feet as he went about his business on that fateful day in Mexico City and, three decades on, Puma have revived the 'KingMaradona Super' for a special limited edition run in homage.

The Euro Story: Panenka Paints His Masterpiece As Czechoslovakia Brush West Germany Aside At Euro 76

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Czech defender Jan Pivarnik celebrates in a Germany shirt while Uli Hoeness trudges off the pitch without one after missing his spot-kick

By the time qualifying began in 1974, UEFA were able to claim with justification that the European Championships were second only to the World Cup in terms of prestige.

‘He Hasn’t The Slightest Idea What He’s Talking About’ – Paul Pogba’s Agent Responds To Gary Lineker Jibe

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Paul Pogba's agentMino Raiola has hit back at Gary Lineker after the BBC presenter claimed that the French midfield star was over-rated.

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The 23-year-old Pogba has, so far, failed to live up to his top-billing at Euro 2016, prompting Lineker to Tweet the following during France's Last 16 clash with Ireland.

FC Dnipro On Verge Of Disbanding Just One Year On From Reaching Their First Ever Europa League Final

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If reports are to be believed then FC Dnipro Dnipropetrovsk are on the verge of a spectacular collapse a little over one year on from the clubappearing in theirfirst ever European final.

Despite losing out 3-2 to Sevilla in the 2015 Europa League final, everything seemed to be on the up and up at Dnipro.

Iker Casillas Retires From Spain Duty With The Help Of A Patriotic Quote Lifted From Rambo II

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Having lost his first-pick status and seen Spain go a-tumblin' out of Euro 2016in the first knockout round against Italy on Monday, Iker Casillas has decided that the time is now right for him to duck out of international duty all together.

Indeed, the 35-year-old 'keeper, who has won all there is to win over the course of his 167 caps, seemed to confirm as much with a Tweet posted the following day in which he thanked fans for their support over the years before signing off with a patriotic snippet lifted from the end of Rambo: First Blood Part II.

Will Grigg Receives Hero’s Welcome In Belfast Despite Not Playing A Single Minute Of Football At Euro 2016 (Video)

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The positive power of having a name that fits succinctlyinto a song was on full display in Belfast yesterday evening as thousands of fans gathered to welcome the Northern Ireland entourage back from Euro 2016.

Having gone out to Wales in the last 16, the Northern Ireland boys received arare old reception on stage in the Titanic Quarter, though none more so than a man whose name has become synonymous with the tournament without him having to play a single minute of football out in France.

The Euro Story: Debutantes West Germany Take The Spoils At The First Attempt, Euro 1972

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The fourth instalmentof the European Championships began in 1970, with most of Europe's teams anxious to make up for dismal showings in the Mexico World Cup earlier that year. Again, 32 nations entered.

A Wales team featuring John Toshack looked promising until the demands of the fourth round of the League Cup in England forced the fielding of a makeshift team in a vital game against Czechoslovakia.

Jamie Carragher Goes In Two-Footed On The ‘Generation Of Soft Babies’ English Football Has Produced

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The fallout from England's sombreEuro 2016 exit continues apace with Jamie Carragher being the latest person of interest to go in hardon Roy's beleaguered boys.

Specifically, Carragher has targeted England's distinct lack of mettle and moral fibre, indirectly accusing the FA and the Premier League of producing a generation of "babies".

Painful Viewing: Some Wag Has Created A ‘Skill Video’ Of Harry Kane’s Dire Performance Against Iceland (Video)

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As you may recall, England were ever so slightly disappointing against Iceland earlier in the week, with most if not all of their players failing to provide any semblance of technical adequacy or basic organisation.

With that in mind it's perhaps a little harsh to single anybody out from the morass, but that hasn't stopped some wagout there from creating a 'tribute' toHarry Kane's often laughable, shin-happy bumblings.

Aston Villa: Stiliyan Petrov Returns To First-Team Training Four Years After Leukaemia Diagnosis (Photo)

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Now for some real good news. For the first time since being diagnosed with acute leukaemia four years ago, Stiliyan Petrov is back training with the first team at Aston Villa.

The club had previously confirmed that Petrov was part of the squad they took to Austria for a fitness camp earlier in the month.

Martin Skrtel (Sort Of) Calls Jurgen Klopp ‘D*ckhead’ On Instagram As Liverpool Exit Nears

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Word on the wire is that Martin Skrtel is closeto joining Fenerbahce in a £5.5million deal and it's probably just as well after the Liverpool defender appeared to brandhis current coacha "d*ckhead" on social media.

As picked up on by Empire of the Kop, one of Skrtel's personal friends posted a photo of the pair on Instagram along with a slew of hashtags pertainingto Jurgen Klopp.

Putting The Boot In: Wales Players Celebrate England’s Flaccid Euro 2016 Defeat v Iceland (Video)

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While England's sorry band of underachieving stars were hanging their heads in shame at the final whistle of their horrendous 2-1 defeat to Iceland, the Welsh squad had a rather different response to the momentous result.

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Already through to the last eight themselves, the Wales' players took time out from their preparations for their clash with Belgium by watching England's Last 16 meeting with Iceland.

England: All The Pertinent Quotes From Roy Hodgson’s Cheery Farewell Press Conference

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Having ducked the media directly after his insta-resignation last night, formerEngland boss Roy Hodgson finally emerged in front of the hackhordes for a cheery farewell press conference on Tuesday afternoon.

Hodgson appeared alongsideFA chief executiveMartin Glenn (who wasted little time assuring everybody that he "isn't a football expert") but denied that he was doing so under duress, instead claiming that he wished to uphold his record of having never shirked a presser before.

Euro 2016 Shit Lookalikes: Cristiano Ronaldo And Lara Croft

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A polite ripple of golf applause is most definitely due to Pies fan Rory, who sent in this little peach whenCristiano Ronaldo posted a photo of his veinous, meticulously epilated, satin-finish quads on Instagram earlier...

Photo: @cristiano/Instagram

Spot on, that. Magic.

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Euro 2016 Shit Lookalikes: Cristiano Ronaldo And Lara Croft

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A polite ripple of golf applause is most definitely due to Pies fan Rory, who sent in this little peach whenCristiano Ronaldo posted a photo of his veinous, meticulously epilated, satin-finish quads on Instagram earlier...

Photo: @cristiano/Instagram

Spot on, that. Magic.

Got a Euro 2016-themed Shit Lookalike for Pies?

‘They’re All Just Headphones!’ – Chris Waddle Sums Up England’s Predicament In Fabulous, Barely Composed Post-Iceland Rant (Audio)

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BBC Radio 5 Live pundit Chris Waddle embarked on a lively rant following last night'sdismal showing against Iceland, once again hitting the nail on the head vis-a-vis England's perpetual predicament.

Just as he did in the aftermath of the 2014 World Cup, Waddle went in hard on England's players ("they're all just headphones" being a brilliantly surreal, barely composed highlight!

Clanger: Turns Out Steve McClaren Was Directly At Fault For Iceland’s Winning Goal Against England (Video)

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Quite why anybody was watching the Sky Sports News coverage while the actual football was live on a terrestrial channel is beyond us, but it would appear that at least one person tuned in to watch Steve McClaren once again making a bit of a prat of himself in public.

Indeed, while you may have been lulled into thinking Iceland's second goal came about due to a heady mix of shoddy England defending and Joe Hart's rubbery wrists, it was actually the fault of McClaren and his inability to keep his big bloody mouth shut.

‘The Premier League Is A Fraud’ – Didi Hamann Softly Tears England And Their Second Rate Players Apart On RTÉ (Video)

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As ITV's assembled panelof expertsmumbled about the need to take stock and move on in the wake of England's miserable defeat against Iceland, Didi Hamann was busy letting all of his feelings on the Premier League and its standing in the world spill outover on Irish television.

Appearing as a pundit forRTÉ's coverage of the match, Hamann seized his opportunity to deliver a few home truths post-game, embarking on a gentle but scathing critiqueof the Premier League, its vastly overrated quality and the second-rate fodderbeingused to pad it out.

Let’s Hear It For… Iceland, The Team England Should Be Desperate To Emulate!

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As tempting as it was to devote an entire morning to chastising England for wilting like knackered spinach in Nice last night, instead Pies thought we'd take the chance to begin by paying earnest, proper tribute to the rightful victors.

Sincerely, and with no traceof bitterness or condescension, Iceland were outstanding.

The Euro Story: England Go Close But Italy Edge It As European Championship Comes Of Age In 1968

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Italypose for pictures after beating Yugoslavia 2-0 in the UEFA European Championship Final replay at the Stadio Olimpico in Rome, 10 June 1968

By the time of the 1966 tournament, 31 nations had signed up and the competition, now called the European Championship, was firmly established as the top football tournament in Europe.

Official: Sadio Mane Completes £34m Liverpool Move, Takes The No.19 Shirt (Photo)

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Photo: Liverpool FC/Getty Images

Liverpool have formally announced the signing of Sadio Mane, who has completed his£34million move from Southampton.

The Senegalese striker, scorer of the fastest hat-trick in Premier League history no less, has signed a five-year contract at the Reds after coming through a medical yesterday.

‘Astronomically’ Drunk England Fan Sentenced After Breaking Into French Policeman’s House Thinking It Was His Rented AirBnB Apartment

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It's been a rough morning for fans of an England persuasion, so here's a feelgood Euro 2016 story to cheer ye up.

One England fan, described as being "astronomically" drunk, has been given a suspended prison sentence today after he forced entryinto a French policeman's house believing it to be his own rented accommodation.

He’s At It Again! Commentator Gudmundur Benediktsson Goes Bonkers As Iceland Down England (Video)

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Despite losing his day job recently as assistant coach at KR Reykjavík,Gudmundur Benediktsson was once again at hiseffervescent best during Iceland's momentous victory against England on Monday night.

With the scores at 1-1,Kolbeinn Sigthorsson fired home an historic winner (thanks to a feeble effort at a safe from Joe Hart).

Euro-Trash: Roy Hodgson Resigns After Dismal England Lose 2-1 To Iceland (Video)

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England exited Europe for the second time in a week (that's the only Brexit joke we'll do here) after the Three Lions produced a performance of utter ineptitude against minnows Iceland. After the embarrassing loss, manager Roy Hodgson announced that he wouldn't be looking to extend his England contract (which expires in three days), with his departure immediate after a low-achieving tenure.

Euro 2016: Iceland Players Celebrate Historic Win v England With Incredible Clapping Routine (Video)

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Unsurprisingly, after producing one of the biggest shocks in EURO history, Iceland's players were in rather good spirits following their 2-1 win against England. After the final whistle, the victors celebrated with their fans, courtesy of a spine-tingling clapping celebration.

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Iceland's victory was well-deserved, with their post-match celebrations as impressive as their hard-working and organised performance during the game.

Lionel Messi & Half The Argentina Squad Set To Retire From International Duty After Losing Out To Chile In Copa America Final

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There were tears aplenty in the aftermath of last night's Copa America final, with Argentina eventually losing out on penalties to Chile on the back of120 goalless minutes in New Jersey.

Lionel Messi missed his spot-kick during the shoot-out, sending his effort sailing over the crossbar as Chile scrabbled their way to a 4-2 win and thus back-to-back Copa America titles.

Boxer Tyson Fury Spends €1,000 Buying Hundreds Of Jägerbombs For England Fans In Nice (Photo & Video)

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Photo: Press Association

Having pulled out of his World Heavyweight title re-match withWladimir Klitschko this weekend due to a sprained ankle, Tyson Fury made a bee-line for the south of France to watch England play Iceland in Nice.

Hardly the most cultured of souls, Fury ingratiated himself with the fans already gathered in the city's old town district with a customary gesture by shelling out on a mammoth round of drinks for all and sundry.

Petr Cech Serves As Ball-Boy At Wimbledon After Czech Republic’s Euro 2016 Elimination (Photos)

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Aweek or so ago he was busy betwixt the sticks at Euro 2016 but, following the Czech Republic's group stage elimination, Petr Cech has been passing the time by moonlighting as a ball-boy at Wimbledon.

Cech agreed to toddle down to the practice courts at SW19to help his good bud andcompatriot Radek Stepanek get his eye in beforethe tournament, which begins this week.

Reports: Sadio Mane Undergoes Liverpool Medical As £34m Deal Moves Swiftly Toward Conclusion

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It looks very much like Sadio Mane will be Liverpool's first big signing of the summer as a moveworth "in excess of £30million" (as per BBC Sport) nears its inevitable conclusion.

The wider press seem fairly certain that the initial fee is £34million, though the Telegraph's Jeremy Wilson adds that the fee is "complicated" and "could rise to £36million" should the requisite amount of performance clauses be triggered in months to come.

Official: Laurent Blanc Steps Aside As PSG Coach To Make Way For Unai Emery

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Paris Saint-Germain have confirmed today that Laurent Blanc has been released back into the wild following three successful years at the Ligue 1 goliaths.

Indeed, Blanc has won 11 trophies during his stint, making him the most successful coach in PSG'shistory though, crucially, hefailed to make itpast the quarter-final stage in the only competition that actually matters to the club's owners, the Champions League, and today has ultimately paid the price for 'only' managing to sweep the board at domestic level.

Euro 2016 Shit Lookalike: Jonny Williams & Toby Jones

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Kudos to Pies fan @jonnyffcpitt, who spotted that dinky Wales midfielder Jonny Williams not only looks like a runner-up in a regional Jimmy Sommerville lookalike contest, but also bears an uncanny likeness to Toby Jones, i.e, thatactor who's always decent in everything but you still can't quite remember his name.

Copa America: Colombian Commentator Unleashes Mammoth 37-Second Long ‘Gooooooool!’ After Carlos Bacca Goal Seals Third Place Finish (Video)

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Colombia pipped hostsUS to the bronze medal in the Copa America on Saturday night with a 1-0 victory in the third-place play-off in Phoenix, Arizona.

The deciding goal came via Carlos Bacca in the 31st minute, but the subsequent celebration from Colombian commentator Javier Fernandez Franco carried on deep into the 32nd.

Bad News For The Manic Icelandic Commentator: Gudmundur Benediktsson Loses His Day Job

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Despite providingone of the most enduring moments of Euro 2016, it would appear that all is not going overly well back home forGudmundur Benediktsson, i.e, everybody's new favourite manic Icelandic commentator.

Benediktsson was thrust into the spotlight when Iceland squeaked their way into the knockoutroundswith a 94th-minute winner against Austria, as accompaniedby the Siminn TV pundit and his impassioned whelpsof pure, unbridled ecstasy.

The Euro Story: England Humiliated And USSR Brought Crashing Down To Earth As Spain Triumph At Euro 1964

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Spanish carry their coach, Jose Villalonga, aloft to celebrate victory in the European Nations Cup, 1964

After a rocky start, the first European Nations Cup had obviously convinced the doubters to the point that by the time the second tournament began in 1962, some 29 of the 33 European nations had registered.

Euro 2016: Ireland Players & Staff Watch Fans Belt Out ‘Fields Of Athenry’ After Defeat v France (Video)

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The Republic of Ireland's rollercoaster EURO 2016 ride came to a final halt on Sunday, with the Boys In Green losing 2-1 to hosts France. Robbie Brady had put the Irish into a surprise lead after just two minutes, via a spot-kick, and Martin O'Neill's side almost increased their lead in the first-half.

Euro 2016: Chelsea Wingman Eden Hazard Nets Twinkle-Toed Cracker As Belgium Batter Hungary (Video)

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Many people's pre-tournament favourites, Belgium look to be hitting form at just the right time. On Sunday night theysecured a convincing 4-0 win against Hungary, with Eden Hazard superb throughout.

The Chelsea wingerendured a disappointing 2015/16 Premier League campaign with Chelsea, but now the 25-year-old is back to his best.

Euro 2016: BBC Wales Get Caught Out By Their Own Running Joke After Gareth McAuley Notches Decisive Own-Goal

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As you may have noticed, the official BBC Wales Twitter account have been diligently keeping a running gag goingfor the duration of Euro 2016 so far.

Starting with BBC Bale, the account profile has been changed to display the name of the last player to score for Wales.

Unfortunately, following Wales' narrow 1-0 win over Northern Ireland in the last 16 this afternoon, BBC Wales were forced to change their name again accordingly or risk losing all semblance of their journalistic integrity.

OMG! Arsenal New-Boy Granit Xhaka Makes Monumental Mess Of Shoot-Out Spot-Kick As Swiss Crash Out v Poland (Video)

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One good thing from Granit Xhaka's horrendous shootout miss against Poland is that we'll finally see an end to the painfully over-used 'Xhaka can/can't' nonsense. However, the Swiss midfielder's penalty miss is sure to haunt him well into his new career with Arsenal.

After120 minutes of an entertaining draw, Switzerland's Last 16 clash with Poland went down to penalties.

The Euro Story: In The Beginning There Was The 1960 European Nations’ Cup, And It Went On For Two Years!

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Czech 'keeper Viliam Schrojf plucks the ball from the feet of a Soviet Union player, 1960

With Euro 2016 now well and truly up and humming, we thought we'd feed your appetite with a series of retrospective posts on the history of Europe's premier international tournament.

The first international football tournament to be staged regularly was the British home internationals, which began in 1883.

Euro 2016: Eric Cantona Belts Out ‘Will Grigg’ Chant As Part Of Amusing Group Stage Review (Video)

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With the Euro 2016 knock-outs about to get under way in earnest, Eurosport had Eric Cantona produce a cracking little review of the group stage.

Obviously as we're talking about a noted thespian here, the actingis really rather good as King Eric the tournament's unofficial 'commissioner of football' runs the rule over the opening matches thus far.

Euro 2016 Horror Hair: Ivan Perisic Pins His Croatian Colours To The Mast With Daring New ‘Do (Photo)

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"Sort that barnet out, son"

Having sported a plain old short back and sides for the group stages, it would appear that Croatia's Ivan Perisic has very much upped the ante in the hair stakes for the knockout rounds.

With a last 16 tie against Portugal in the offing, the 27-year-old winger has gone big for the occasion shaving and dying a massive swathe of red and white check into the back of his napper.

Euro 2016: Xherdan Shaqiri Lights Up Last 16 Opener With Amazing Acrobatic Goal Against Poland (Video)

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Just as the first Euro 2016 last-16 game was beginning tobubble under, Xherdan Shaqiri scored an absolutely terrific goal to notch an equaliser against Poland.

After a long, long period of nothing much,the ball suddenly sat up on the edge of the area and, without pausing for though, Shaqiri walloped it into the bottom corner with a magnificent piece of acrobatic ingenuity.

Swedish Amateur Player Shown Red Card For Incessant ‘Provocative’ Farting

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Photo: Adam Lindin Ljungkvist

Now there's a headline you don't get to write every day! An amateur player from Sweden's seventh tier received his marching orders during a recent game after the referee lost patience with his incessant flatulence.

Adam Lindin Ljungkvist was playing left-back for Pershagen SK in a game againstJärna SK's reserve teamwhen he felt the first rumblings of a dicky tum-tum.

Official: Tottenham Cough Up £11million For Southampton Hardman Victor Wanyama

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Tottenham Hotspur have announced the signing of Southampton's Victor Wanyama for a very reasonable £11million, with the Kenyan penning a five-year deal.

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The tough-tackling midfielderwillreunite with his former boss Mauricio Pochettino after three years at St. Mary's which saw the 24-year-old rack up 85 top-flight appearances and bag four goals.

FAIL: Former Arsenal And Liverpool Attacker Jermaine Pennant Gets In A Twitter Tangle Over Brexit

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Currently lining out for Tampine Rovers in Singapore, winger Jermaine Pennant added to the sea of Brexit opinion on Twitter on Friday morning, albeit by pondering a rather misplaced question.

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The 33-year-old got his geo-politics in a bit of a tangle by wondering how the UK's vote to leave the EU would affect the next European Championships.

When Irish Eyes Are Crying: Roy Keane Gets Tearful As Boys In Green Secure Memorable Win v Italy (Video)

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A magnificent performance from the Republic of Ireland against Italy on Wednesday night saw the Boys in Green book their place in the last 16, courtesy of a creditable four point from a nightmare Group E.

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With Italy already through, manager Antonio Conte made eight changes to his starting line-up, but the Irish still produced a superb, forward-thinking display which deserved the win.

Copa America: Lionel Messi Breaks Argentina Goal Record With Laser-Guided Freekick Against USA (Video)

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It was only really a matter of time anyway, but last night Lionel Messi finally moved past Gabriel Batistuta's long-standing goal record for Argentina to go clear at the top of the all-time pile.

Messi scored Argentina's third goal in a 4-0 win over the US in the Copa America semi-finals to notch his 55th international goal, having equalled Batigol's career tally of 54 earlier in the tournament.

Huffy Bugger: Cristiano Ronaldo Snatches Reporter’s Microphone And Chucks It Into A Lake (Video)

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You may have noticed that things haven't exactly gone to plan for Cristiano Ronaldo at Euro 2016 so far, with the Portugal forward becoming increasingly frustrated at his usual "shoot on sight" policy failing tobear fruit.

Proving beyond all doubt that he's in a bit of a huff at the moment,on a stroll outside the team hotel in Lyon, Ronaldo reacted to a simple question from a televisionreporter (the Guardian reckon he was asked whether he felt prepared for Portugal's final group game against Hungary) by snatching his microphone off him and hoying it in a nearby lake.

Euro 2016: Icelandic Commentator Goes Utterly Bonkers After Last-Gasp Victory v Austria (Video)

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Wednesday was a rather dramatic day at EURO 2016, with the teams from the final two groups, E and F, battlingit out for a place in the last 16. Group F saw Portugal play out an entertaining 3-3 draw with Hungary.

However, the real story was the success of minnows Iceland, a country of just 400,000 people, who secured a place in the knockout stages courtesy of a last-gasp win against Austria.

Cheeky: ITV Pundit Slaven Bilic Mugs Off Lothar Matthaus Over Croatia’s 3-0 Win v Germany At 1998 World Cup (Video)

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One of the highlights of EURO 2016 so far has come not on the football pitches of France, but in the ITV studios. West Ham boss Slaven Bilic enjoyed a superb first season with the Hammers and now the Croatian is shining in the role of a pundit.

We've already seen his superb table-climbing antics after Dimitri Payet scored for France.

Euro 2016: Sergio Ramos Fluffs Spot-Kick After Real Madrid Club-Mate Luka Modric Tips Off Croat ‘Keeper (Video)

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Spain suffered a rare Euro finals defeat on Tuesday night, with the title holders downed by Croatia in Bordeaux. With the scores at 1-1, the Spaniards did have a great chance to take the lead whenSime Vrsaljko fouled David Silva in the Croatian box. However, Sergio Ramos' spot-kick was saved byDanijel Subasic after some top-secret information from Ramos' clubmate Luka Modric.

Spanish FA President Falls Asleep Next To Prince William While Watching England’s Bore Draw With Slovakia (Video)

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"Honestly Wills, I ain't gonna last the distance here"

Once again, England managed to nullify their opponents without offering even the faintest hint of a ruthless edge during last night's goalless group stage stodge-fest against Slovakia in Saint Etienne.

Alas, the tedium was all too much forSpanish football federation president Angel Maria Villar, who struggled valiantly but failed to stave of the Zzz's while watching the game next to Prince William in the stands at the Stade Geoffroy-Guichard.

Euro 2016: Ireland Fans Sing Little Newborn Baby Off To Sleep On Bordeaux Train (Video)

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Just when you thought you'd had your fill of Ireland fans being ace, here's a cracking little video of a group of supporters gathering together to sing a little newborn baby off to sleep on a crowded Bordeaux train with a lullaby or two.

As you've probably already guessed, it's adorable...

Okay, you can stop it now.

Witchcraft: French Football Presenter Walks Straight Through TV Screen And Out Onto The Pitch (Video)

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Having watched mostof Euro 2016 so far on French television,we can definitely say that the level of coverage has been a cut above that of Sky Sports and their piffling touch-screens.

First we sawDavid Ginola interview Didier Deschamps via hologram (via hologram, we say!), followed by a truly majestic piece of technological wizardry on channel M6 during the France-Switzerland game that saw the presenter step out of the studio, THROUGH the giant televisionscreen and out onto the pitch.

MLS: Portland Timbers’ Lucas Melano Pulls Stunning ‘Small Forward Roll’ Dive Out Of The Bag Against Real Salt Lake (Video)

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The man you see before you is none other than Lucas Melano, forward for the Portland Timbers and purveyor of one of the finest pieces of play-acting we've seen for weeks.

Coming during Saturday night's 2-2 draw against Real Salt Lake in MLS, Melano took the merest of shoves from opponent Chris Wingert and proceeded to use it as a launchpad for one of the most ridiculous, tremendous, acrobatic micro-dives of recent memory.

Copa America: Argentina’s ‘Dressing Room Victory Photo’ Makes For Fairly Depressing Viewing

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Argentina tonked Venezuela 4-1 on Saturday evening to go marching into the semi-finals of the Copa America, though you could be fooled into thinking otherwise if you only had their dressing room 'victory photo' to go on.

Sat twiddling away on their phones, Lionel Messi (whose goal saw him move level with Gabriel Batistuta as Argentina's all-time record goalscorer), Sergio Aguero and the rest of the chaps looked more like a gang of mopy teenagers sat at a bus stop.

Euro 2016: Joe Ledley Busts Out Some Serious Moves As Wales Cruise Into Knockout Stages (Video)

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Wales produced an outstanding display against Russia on Monday night, with goals from Aaron Ramsey, Neil Taylor and Gareth Bale securing a comfortable 3-0 win which sees them top Group B, a point ahead of England.

Understandably, the Welsh players were rather pleased with themselves at the final whistle, with hipster Joe Ledley shimmying down the touchline.

“I Haven’t Had Anything To Do In The Whole Tournament To Be Honest” – Joe Hart Bullish Despite Slovakia Stalemate

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A much-changed England side played out an uninspiring 0-0 draw with Slovakia on Monday night a result that sees Roy Hodgson's charges finish second in Group B, a point behind Wales.

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England 'keeper Joe Hart remained bullish after the stalemate, claiming (a tad arrogantly) that he's 'not had anything to do' in the competition so far.

Wardrobe Malfunction: Four PUMA Shirts Ripped (And One Ball Burst) During France v Switzerland Clash (Photos)

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Hosts France and Switzerland played out an entertaining but goalless draw in Lille on Sunday night. Much has been made of the poor quality of the pitches during EURO 2016 so far, and the turf in theStade Pierre-Mauroy was no better, with many players slipping throughout the game.

However, as well as the poor playing surface, a number of Swiss players had to contend with rather flimsy shirts.

FAIL: Venezuala’s Luis Seijas Attempts Feeble Panenka Spot-kick In Copa America Clash With Argentina (Video)

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The true beauty of a Panenka penalty is that it's equally entertaining when it goes wrong, something Luis Seijas knows all about. During Venezuela's Copa America quarter-final clash with Argentina, the midfielder produced one of the most feeble spot-kick efforts you are ever likely to see.

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Argentina were 2-0 up when, on 42 minutes, the Venezuelans were awarded a penalty and a precious opportunity to get back into the game.

Misfiring Cristiano Ronaldo Misses Penalty In Draw With Austria, Still Lets Pitch Invader Take Selfie (Video)

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Footballing Twitter reached peak-sneer on Saturday night after Cristiano Ronald, missed a penalty in Portugal's disappointing 0-0 draw with Austria. No doubt the Portuguese superstar's remarks after his side's draw with Iceland didn't win him any new friends, but despite all the predictable jeering, the great man was still rather nice to a post-match pitch invader.

Baggy Trousers: Canadian TV Pundits Pay Tribute To Gabor Kiraly’s Magnificent Grey Sweatpants (Photo)

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Gabor Kiraly is a bit of a character. The chunky 40-year-old, who became the oldest player ever to play in a Euro finals competition this month has enjoyed a fine career, lining out for the likes of Hertha Berlin, Crystal Palace, Aston Villa and Burnley.

Famed for donning ill-fitting, baggy grey sweatpants when he plays, Kiraly's iconic style choices have now resonated on the other side of the Atlantic.

Baggy Trousers: Canadian TV Pundits Pay Tribute To Gabor Kiraly’s Magnificent Grey Sweatpants (Photo)

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Gabor Kiraly is a bit of a character. The chunky 40-year-old, who became the oldest player ever to play in a Euro finals competition this month has enjoyed a fine career, lining out for the likes of Hertha Berlin, Crystal Palace, Aston Villa and Burnley.

Famed for donning ill-fitting, baggy grey sweatpants when he plays, Kiraly's iconic style choices have now resonated on the other side of the Atlantic.

Euro 2016: Poland’s Arkadiusz Milik Responds To Russell Crowe Tweet After Missed Chances v Germany

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StrikerArkadiusz Milik has endured a difficult opening two games at EURO 2016, despite scoring once against Northern Ireland.

Overall, the Polish star has misseda number of very good chances against both Michael O'Neill'sand Germany, and those misses have come to the attention of none other than Hollywood heavyweight and Gladiator star Russell Crowe.

Euro 2016: Roy Keane Floors Ireland Coach With Devastatingly Simple Training Ground Prank (Video)

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While not a name you'd immediately associate with japery and/or basic human happiness, Roy Keane still demonstrated that he's as up for the craic of anybody with a classic training ground wheeze earlier in the week.

With fellow Republic of Ireland coachSeamus McDonagh lining up a shot, Keane hit him with a timeless schoolboy prank that left poor old Seamus on his arse and everybody else in hysterics.

Croatian Journalist Explains That Fans Threw Flares As Part Of Orchestrated Protest Against Their Football Federation

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As you no doubt witnessed, the final stages of last night's Euro 2016 group tie between Croatia and Czech Republic had to be temporarily suspended when Croatian fans bombarded the corner of the pitch with flares and smoke grenades.

While the Croatia players pleaded for calm, one steward had an extremely near miss when anerrant firecracker went off in his face as he attempted to clear the pyro-debris from the turf.

Jens Lehmann Visits Eiffel Tower – Sums It Up In Three Beautiful, Poetic Words (Video)

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With Germany's third and final group game against Northern Ireland set to be played in Paris next week, Jens Lehmann went on ahead to scout out the host city on the Mannschaft's behalf.

Of course, he couldn't visit the French capital without taking in its most iconic landmark, the Eiffel Tower the entire majesty and history of which our Jens managed to sum up in the space of just eight seconds.

Euro 2016: Keith Gillespie Crowd-Surfs Down Lyon Street After Northern Ireland’s Historic Win (Video)

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As you may have heard, Northern Ireland comfortably saw off Ukraine last night to register their first win at Euro 2016 and indeed their first ever win at a European Championships ever in the history of everything ever.

In fact, the historic victory itself was surpassed by one thing and one thing only this video of former Norn Iron international Keith Gillespie being manhandled around the streets of Lyon by crowds of jubilant fans.

This Terrifying Jurgen Klopp Birthday Cake Needs To Be Incinerated Immediately (Photos)

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What with Jurgen Klopp turning 49 yesterday, Liverpool decided to surprise their gaffer with a birthday cake.

The Reds therefore went ahead and commissioned cake artist Ben Cullen (otherwise known as 'The Bake King') to make them a Klopp cake.

Little did they realise what fresh hell they were about to unleash.

Porto’s Celestial New Away Kit Is Inspired By A Distant Constellation Of Stars (Video)

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While Porto's new home shirt (above) is a perfectly handsome striped affair, it's thePortuguese club'snew away kit that has most definitely caught our eye.

The change strip is part of New Balance's spanking fresh 'Outro Nivel' ('Another Level') kit line and, as well as being a dark and moody little number, also features a design inspired by a distant constellation of stars.

St Pauli Boss Unable To Attend Player Unveiling So Club Just Use Some Bloke In A Mask Instead (Photo)

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Being as they are the 2. Bundesliga's premier left-wing, neo-punk, anti-fascist socialist football club, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise to learn that St Pauli tried something a little unorthodox with a recent player unveiling.

After it emerged that coach Ewald Lienen was otherwise engaged and wouldn't be able to welcomenew signing Marvin Ducksch to the club in person, St Pauli instead had some bloke don a mask of Lienen and pose for a photo instead.

Euro 2016: Welsh Fan Moved To Tears By Tension During Clash With England, Goes Berserk After Seeing Himself On Big Screen (Video)

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England left it late against Wales on Thursday, with a late, late Daniel Strurridge goal securing a hard-fought but ultimately deserved victory for Roy Hodgson's side. A nervyoccasion throughout, one Welsh fan struggled to keep his emotions in check, weeping as the tension mounted late on, with the score at 1-1.

Euro 2016: Iain Dowie Loses It After Northern Ireland Wrap Up 2-0 Victory v Ukraine (Video)

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Northern Ireland produced a much improved performance against Ukraine on Thursday, with Michael O'Neill's men registering a well-deserved 2-0 win in Lyon.

36-year-old Gareth McAuley opened the scoring just after the break (becoming the second oldest scorer in EURO finals history), before sub Niall McGinn sealed the deal late on.

Euro 2016: Napoli Schemer Marek Hamsik Bags Beauty As Slovakia Beat Russia 2-1 (Video)

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Slovakia bounced back from their opening game defeat to Wales by deservedly beating Russia 2-1 in Lille on Wednesday. Central to the victory was Napoli midfielder Marek Hamsik, who topped off a fine all-round display with a cracker of goal.

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Hamsik had already set upVladimir Weiss's opening goal on 31 minutesbefore the 28-year-old produced a magnificent finish on the stroke of half-time.

Euro 2016: Slaven Bilic Celebrate’s Dimitri Payet’s Goal For France, Jumps On Table In ITV Studio (Video)

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West Ham boss Slaven Bilichas proved to be an outstanding signing by ITV for the Euros, with the Croatian an entertaining and insightful pundit. During France's hard-fought 2-0 win against Albania on Wednesday evening, the 47-year-old celebrated another fine goal from Hammers' star Dimitri Payet in classic fashion.

‘He Just Fannies About And Dives’ – Iceland Defender Hits Back At Cristiano Ronaldo Over Bitchy Quips

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Iceland defenderKari Arnason has exercised his right to reply to Cristiano Ronaldo's bitchy quips in which the freshly-creosoted forwardaccused Portugal's maiden Euro 2016 opponents of being "small time".

Ronaldo failed to make any in-roads against an Iceland team who manfully slogged their way to a 1-1 draw, with the Real Madrid man huffing,puffing and offering a series of his frustrated pouts toward the big screen throughout thematch to no avail.

Premier League 2016/17 Fixtures Released: Leicester To Begin Title Defence In Sunny Hull

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The fixtures for the 2016/17 Premier League have been released this morning

It's all subject to change on the whim of the television broadcasters so don't get too attached to who;s playing who when, but so far the opening day of the campaign (13th August) will look like this...

Bournemouth v Manchester United

Arsenal v Liverpool

Burnley v Swansea City

Chelsea v West Ham

Crystal Palace v West Brom

Everton v Tottenham

Hull City v Leicester City

Manchester City v Sunderland

Middlesbrough v Stoke City

Southampton v Watford

Leicester getting to gettheir big title defence under way in sunny Hull.

‘They Have A Small Mentality’ – Cristiano Ronaldo Gets Bitchy After Minnows Iceland Battle To Heroic Draw v Portugal

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The final fixtureof the first set of group games at EURO 2016 ended with minnows Iceland producing a huge shock by drawing 1-1 with Cristiano Ronaldo's Portugal inSaint-Étienne.

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Ronaldo, like his team-mates, produced a disappointing display against an Icelandic side taking part in their first-ever Euro finals game.

Lukas Podolski Gives Clever Answer To Question About Jogi Loew’s Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Antics (Video)

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In recent seasons, Lukas Podolski has become more famous for his comedic antics on social media than his footballing skills and the former Arsenal striker was in fine form again during a Germany press conference on Tuesday.

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Reacting to a question about Jogi Loew's now infamous (and utterly disgusting) 'intimate sniffing'antics, the 31-year-old replied with a cracking answer.

Man Utd Players Crowbarred Into New ‘Independence Day’ Movie Trailer (Video)

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For fans of tenuous corporate tie-ins, here's a small smattering of Manchester United players, as crowbarred into a trailer for the new Independence Day rehash, courtesy of 20th Century Fox.

Come for the Hollywood blockbuster action, stay for Ashley Young, Wayne Rooney, Juan Mata, Daley Blind and Chris Smalling actingtheir bloody socks off.

Sepp Blatter Claims To Have Witnessed Draws Being Rigged With ‘Hot And Cold Balls’

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Sepp Blatter has made some pretty explosive comments about his balls, specifically the ambient temperature thereof and how he's fairly certain they've been used to rig football draws in the past.

The heating and cooling of specific draw balls has been mooted as a potential method of fudgingdraws in plain sight, and the deposed ex-FIFA president claimsit's very much been implemented at a fairly high level of the game.

Gianluigi Buffon Falls Flat On His Backside While Celebrating Italy’s 2-0 Win Over Belgium (Video)

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Having just kept his 60th clean sheet for Italy in their 2-0 win over Belgium last night, Gianluigi Buffon, the Azzurri's grand old man, suddenly looked very doddery on his feet while attempting an athletic celebration.

The aim was to leap and swing on the bar. The result was a sore backside and an acute case of the embarrassments.

Russian MP Declares Support For Fan Violence At Euro 2016, Encourages Them To ‘Keep It Up’

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Scarcely believable as it may seem, a prominent Russian politician has backed the fans who instigatedthe ugly, moronic mob violence that has permeated the opening days of Euro 2016 and even encouraged those involved to "keep it up".

These weren't comments quietly mumbled up a sleeve in private either, oh no.

Euro 2016: Russian Fan Publishes Shocking GoPro Footage Of Violent Rampage In Marseille (Video)

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While Euro 2016 has already produced a plethora of fine goals and high-quality entertainment, the dark side of football has unfortunately reared it's pathetically ugly head, with hooliganism and violence polluting the streets of France.

England's clash with Russia in Marseille proved to be a major flashpoint in the competition so far, with fans clashing both inside and outside the stadium.

Euro 2016: Italian Manager Antonio Conte Has Nosebleed Celebrating Azzurri Opener v Belgium (Video)

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Despite coming into the competition with expectations unusually low, Italian got their Euro 2016 campaign off to a winning start on Monday night, courtesy of an impressive 2-0 win against a highly-rated Belgian side.

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Ex-Sunderland wingerEmanuele Giaccherini (after a superb Leonardo Bonucci pass) and Southampton striker Graziano Pelle got the goals for the Azzurri, with manager Antonio Conte celebrating his side's opener so hard that he suffered a nosebleed for his trouble.

Euro 2016: Turkish Pundits Livid With Ozan Turfan For Sorting Hair Out Instead Of Blocking Luka Modric Volley (Video)

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An absolute peach of a volley from Luka Modric was enough to snaffle a victory for Croatia in their Euro 2016 opener against Turkey.

However, at least one Turkish television pundit worked himself up into something of a lather after spotting Ozan Tufan's half-arsed attempt at closing Modric down on the edge of the area.

Copa America: Brazil Knocked Out At Group Stage In Controversial (Yet Still Fairly Rubbish) Circumstances

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Brazil's much-maligned 2016 vintage suffered the ignominy of being jettisoned at the group stage of the Copa America for the first time in 30 years aftergoing down 1-0 against Peru last night.

In fairness, while Brazil's performance was largely underwhelming, the defeat did come about in extremely controversial circumstances Raul Ruidiaz quite clearly bundling the only goal of the game over the line with his hand/arm/thing in the 79th minute.

Euro 2016: Wales Fan Manages To Sleep Through Entire Historic Win Over Slovakia

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Having waited severaldecadesfor the moment to arrive, one Wales fan conspired to miss his country's first win at a major international tournament for 58 years by sleeping through the entire thing.

With the anthems already sung, one supporter who was quite possibly a few shandies in by this point nodded off in the stands mere minutes before kick-off and promptly managed to miss the entirety of Wales' historic 2-1 victory over Slovakia.

Euro 2016: Jerome Boateng Makes Incredible Goal-Line Clearance, Jogi Loew Engages In Gross Acts Of Indecency As Germany Win 2-0 v Ukraine (Video)

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World champions Germany got off to the perfect start to their Euro 2016 campaign via a deserved 2-0 win against Ukraine in Lille.Shkodran Mustafi and sub Bastian Schweinsteiger got the goals for the Germans, however a superb piece of defending from Jerome Boateng was equally pivotal in the victory.

Euro 2016: Luka Modric Nets Stunning Volley As Croatia Beat Turkey 1-0 (Video)

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Dark horses Croatia got their Euro 2016 campaign off to a winning start in Paris on Sunday, deservedly beating Turkey 1-0. The winning goal was a thing of beauty, with Real Madrid midfielder Luka Modric showing superb technique to execute a perfect, dipping volley.

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The only goal of the game came just before half-time, with Modric watching a high clearance before volleying home from long-range.

Euro 2016: England Misery As Late Russian Goal Spoils Young Lions’ Night (Photos & Video)

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A youthful England side produced an energetic and impressive display in Saturday night's opener with Russia in Marseille. However, a late goal fromVasili Berezutski robbed the Three Lions of a deserved win. Indeed, with five Tottenham players in the starting line-up, you could say that the English ultimately did 'a Spurs'.

Pies’ Euro 2016 Diary: England’s Opener Against Russia Offers Up The Highlight Of The Tournament So Far…

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Look Ma, dreams really do come true after all!

Bonjour et bienvenue to Pies' first official dispatch from Euro 2016. Just 14short hours in the back of a Ford Focus and here we are in the Sud de France. This must be what the big time feels like.

Having finally realised a lifelongdream of watching the opening match of a major international tournament in a bowling alley on a small industrial estate in the foothills of the Alps, we were finally able to take in a bit of proper action on Saturday.

Euro 2016: Gareth Bale Bags Stunning Free-Kick As Wales Make History v Slovakia (Photos & Video)

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In their first-ever Euro Finals, Wales produced a dogged display to secure an historic 2-1 win against Slovakia, with Welsh Galactico Gareth Bale netting a fine free-kick.

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The goal came after just 10 minutes, with Bale's dipping free-kick wrong-footing 'keeperMatúš Kozáčik.

Son Of A Bilic: West Ham Boss Slaven Drops F-Bomb Live On ITV During France v Romania Clash (Video)

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With a new crew cut (which looked like the beginnings of a hair transplant), West Ham boss Slaven Bilic enjoyed his ITV Euro 2016 punditry debut, watching on as his playmaker Dimitri Payet lit up the Stade de France. However, the Croatian manager may need to work on his bad language.

Dodgy hair but super robot legs.

Euro 2016: Dimitri Payet Stunner Helps Nervy France To Opening Game Win v Romania (Photos & Video)

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On Friday night, Dimitri Payet carried on where he left off with West Ham in the Premier League by producing a superb individual display for France against Romania, culminating in a stunning late winning goal.

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Les Bleus were nervy throughout the tournament curtain-raiser in Paris, with Oliver Giroud failing to make the most of a couple of good headed chances.

Copa America: Luis Suarez Loses it On Subs’ Bench As Uruguay Crash Out v Venezuela (Video)

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Never one to hide his true feelings, Luis Suarez cut a frustrated figure during Uruguay's 1-0 defeat to Venezuela in Thursday's night Copa America clash in Philadelphia.

Despite watching from the bench and listed as an (unavailable) injured player for the game, the Barcelona star still thought he could make a sub appearance, and he didn't take the news that he couldn't play too well.

The Switch ft. Cristiano Ronaldo: Nike Absolutely Nail It Once Again With Cracking Euro 2016 Advert (Video)

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Photo: Nike Football

Proving once again that nobody can match them when it comes to knocking out big-budget adverts, Nike have gone and nailed it again with their Euro 2016 promo film.

'The Switch' sees Cristiano Ronaldo acting his arse off in what is essentially a 'body swap' romp that sees the Portugal star collide with a ballboy, which is when the titular switch is made.

Iranian Goalkeeper Given Six-Month Ban For Wearing ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ Trousers

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A former Iran international goalkeeper has been banned for six months for an "inappropriate conduct" breach that amounts to wearing a pair of gaudy trousers that looked a bit like Spongebob Squarepants.

Ex-Persepolis 'keeper Sosha Makani, 29, has been suspended by the Iranian football federation (FFIRI) after a photo of his yellow pantaloons was posted on social media last month.

Liverpool Hip-Hop Mixtape: Step This Way To Hear James Milner Reciting ‘Regulate’ By Warren G & Nate Dogg (Video)

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If your ass is a buster, James Philip Milner will regulate

With a pre-season jolly to the United States in the offing, Liverpool decided to plug the trip by having their players drop a hip-hop mixtape ofrisible proportions.

The video seesthe likes of Joe Allen, Simon Mignolet and Nathaniel Clyne attempting to rap along to a succession of rap classics and falling someway short of the mark.

Copa America: Arsenal’s David Ospina Makes Wonder-Save For Colombia v Paraguay (Video)

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He may be very much playing second fiddle to Petr Cech at Arsenal, but David Ospina continues to shine for Colombia. During Los Cafeteros' 2-1 win against Paraguay in the Copa America, the 27-year-old produced a magnificent save in the second-half.

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Following a corner from the Paraguayans, Ospina somehow managed to get his hand to a powerful header which was heading straight for the top-corner.

Official: Eric Bailly Joins Man Utd In £30m Deal, Signs Four-Year Deal (Photo)

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The deal is done. Nice and tidy. Eric Bailly is now officially a Manchester United player the first new signing of Jose Mourinho's tenure no less.

The 22-year-old centre-back, who is but 40 domestic games into his professional career, has reportedly lightened United's coffers to the tune of £30million.

UEFA Produce Handy Guide To Pronouncing Every Euro 2016 Player’s Name Correctly (Except Ciaran Clark)

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With the tournament set to open in less than 72 hours, UEFA have knocked out a guide to help us, the great unwashed, get our lumpen tongues around some of Euro 2016's more challenging player names.

Especially handy for thosefanswho have pulled out Albania, Romania or Iceland in the office sweepstake, UEFA's guide features phonetic break-downs of the more daunting surnames taking part in France.

What Sorcery Is This? Coin Toss Before Colombia-Paraguay Lands On Its Edge (Video)

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After two separate sets of stadium loudspeakers were possessed by devious gremlins in the space of two days, the coin toss before Colombia's opening game against Paraguay last night was proof (ifproof were needed) that the Copa America Centenario is shrouded in a mystic curse of some kind.

Much to the delight of both captains, the coin was pinged into the air by the referee only to land on it's edge.

‘It’s Finally Happening!’ – Ex-Germany Goalkeeper Tim Wiese Accepts Formal Offer To Join WWE

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Glory be, for the day that was promised is now finally upon us. Tim Wiese, formerly of German goalkeeping fame, is now a full-time WWE employee.

Having completed his transformation from Hoffenheim 'keeper to looking like a large, bulbousorange leather sofa, Wiese has accepted an offer from Paul 'Triple H' Levesque (who currently serves as the WWE's vice-president of talent) to join their Performance Centre in Florida for an "extended period of training".

Copa America: Pitbull Played Over Chilean Anthem After Yet Another CONMEBOLs-Up

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Coming in the wake of playing Chile's national anthem instead of Uruguay's on Sunday, the organisers of Copa America 2016 scored another musical own-goal ahead of Chile's clash with Argentina in Santa Clara, California.

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While the Chilean team were passionately belting out Himno Nacional de Chile, dome-headed rapper Pitbullsonically defecated all over theanthem.

Villarreal Defender Eric Bailly Set To Become Jose Mourinho’s First Signing As Man Utd Boss

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While Zlatan Ibrahimovic's proposed move to Manchester United rumbles on, reports suggest Villarreal centre-half Eric Bailly will become Jose Mourinho's first signing as Red Devils' boss.

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22-year-old Bailly joined Villarreal from Espanyol at the start of 2015 for a fee of £4.

Portuguese Liquor Brand Send Amusing ‘Apology’ To Harry Kane After Bruno Alves Incident (Video)

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Portuguese liquor brand Licor Beirao have sent a personal apology to Harry Kane after Bruno Alves attempted to rob the England striker of his dashing good looks during last week's friendly at Wembley.

The 'apology' is little more than an opportunistic publicity grab, but we hope you'll agree that Licor Beirao's attempt at brand-based mirth is a cut above the usual dross pumped out by the bucket-load.

Moussa Sissoko Announces Intent To Leave Newcastle, Issues Brazen Come-And-Get-Me Plea To ‘Beautiful’ Arsenal

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Despite contributing very little of note to the Newcastle cause for months on end, Moussa Sissoko has decided that now is the time to leave in order to pursue his lifelong dream of joining Arsenal.

On the all-too-familiarpremise that his place in the France squad would be jeopardised if he were to continue playing for the Toon in the Championship next season, Sissiko has openly announced that he's leaving St James' Park this summer.

Euro 2016: England’s Training Base At Chantilly Is Certainly Very Picturesque (Loads Of Photos)

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England have just completed their first official pre-Euro 2016 training session at their team base located within the environs ofthe ratherswanky 'Auberge du Jeu de Paume' hotel in Chantilly.

Located slightly north-east of Paris, England's luxurious digs would usually set you back £500 a night, boasting as it does an in-house day spa and two Michelin-starred restaurant.

Artur Yusupov Forced To Borrow Training Kit And Boots After Receiving (Very) Late Call-Up To Russia Squad

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"Hang on, isn't that my jumper?"

Artur Yusupov, above, was forced to cobble together a training kit and borrow a pair of boots after receiving a surprise late call-up to the Russian Euro 2016 squad just days before the tournament is due to begin.

The Zenit St. Petersburg midfielder was on holiday in Monaco when he was told that he'd be replacing the injured Igor Denisov in the squad.

Cristiano Ronaldo Opens Second, Much Bigger Museum Devoted To Himself In His Hometown

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Today is a glorious day, for Cristiano Ronaldo has blessed the people of his hometown with yet another holy site for them to worship his mere existence.

Ronaldo first opened a CR7-themed museum dedicated to himself in Funchal, the capital of Madeira, back in 2013.

Since then, hundreds of fans have made the pilgrimage, with the humble shrine barely able to cope with the footfall.

Horror Hair: Marouane Fellaini Reveals New Blonde Afro Do Ahead Of Euro 2016

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Footballers, understandably, want to look their best during a major international championship, with the eyes of the world upon them. One such player, Belgium and Manchester United beanpole Marouane Fellaini, has gone and got his hair did, and the result is a dyed Afro-tastic marvel...

Fellaini's blonde 'fro is sure to make him stand out in France.

Wales Captain Ashley Williams Reveals Rest Of The Squad Hold ‘Joe Allen Appreciation Days’ Every Week

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With Euro 2016 within days of farting into life, the general mood within the Wales camp (last night's dismal outing against Sweden notwithstanding) is generally hovering somewhere around 'bouyant'.

To capitalise on the air of bonhomie, WalesOnline had team captainAshley Williams go through the squad and give them a brief individual summation of the other 22 members.

The New Official 2016/17 Premier League Match Ball Is A Colourful Beast (Photo)

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Photo: Nike Football

What you're gawping at there is the new Premier League matchball that the likes of Charlie Adam and Tom Huddlestonewill be pinging out for throw-ins as of next season.

Rather predictably, it's called the 'Nike Ordem 2016/2017 Premier League' and it's a colourful wee beastie, ain't it?

Retro Football: The Strange Tale Of Gary & Phil Neville Almost Causing A Diplomatic Incident In China Just Weeks Before Euro 96

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The year was 1996andEngland as a nation was gearing up for Euro 1996. England the national team were busy limbering up with a string of pre-tournament friendlies, most of which passed by in a haze of uninspired mediocrity.

However and this is a new one on Pies it would appear that one of England's pre-Euro '96 jollies came perilously close tospilling over into a full-blown international diplomatic incident.

Copa America: Unsuspecting Cameraman Taken Out By Ball During Jamaica’s Opener Against Venezuela (Video)

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Presenting the undoubted highlight of last night's Copa America action: here's the moment a poor unsuspecting cameraman was completely blind-sided by a clearance hoofedup the line during Jamaica's 0-1 opening loss against Venezuela.

On your head son...

Bonk pic.

Copa America: CONMEBOL Issue ‘Sincere Apology’ After Chilean National Anthem Played Before Uruguay’s Clash With Mexico (Video)

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"It's the wrong anthem, I tell you! THE WRONG ANTHEM!!!"

Uruguay's pre-match line-up was awash with bafflement before their Copa America opener against Mexico when the wrong national anthem was piped in over the stadium speaker system.

For reasons unknown, Edinson Cavani and co. were serenaded with a rousing rendition of 'Himno Nacional de Chile', which as you may be able to ascertain is the Chilean national anthem.

Socceraid: ITV’s Ben Shephard Takes Out Edgar Davids, Gets Sent Off In Charity Game (Video)

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The annual UNICEF Socceraid charity game always throws up a few funny and contentious moments (who can forget Boris Johnson's assault onMaurizio Gaudino back in 2006).

Good Morning Britain presenter Ben Shephard has been a regular performer in the event and in Sunday's 2016 edition at Old Trafford, he once again took it all a bit too seriously, firstly taking out Edgar Davids before ultimately seeing red for a second bookable offence.

Act Of Gob: Marko Arnautovic Allegedly Spits At Kenny Tete During Austria v Netherlands Clash (Video)

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DuringAustria's final warm-up match before Euro 2016, Marko Arnautovic got himself caught up in a small contretemps with Kenny Tete, with the Stoke City attacker apparently spitting in the direction of the Dutch full-back.

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The incident came during Austria's 2-0 defeat against the Netherlands at the Ernst Happel Stadium, with Tete infuriated by Arnautovic's alleged spitting.

Olivier Giroud Scores Cheeky Back-Heel For France v Scotland, Drops Hint About Jamie Vardy Joining Arsenal (Video)

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Despite finding himself on the end of some rather harsh criticism from fans of France, Oliver Giroud continues to produce the goods for Les Bleus ahead of Euro 2016. Against Scotland on Saturdaym the Arsenal hitman bagged a brace, including a lovely back-heeled effort.

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The 29-year-old Giroud bagged his flicked goal on eight minutes, after a cross from former Gunner Bacary Sagna.

Sayonara Southampton: Ronald Koeman Has Agreed Terms With Everton, So Says His Agent

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Ronald Koeman is now within the width of a gnat's goolies of becoming the new Everton manager, at least according to his agent.

Koeman's Mr 10%, Rob Jansen, is reported to have told Dutch website Voetbal International that "we have reached an agreement with Everton" and that "now it is up to the clubs" to agree on a compensation package for Koeman, who still has a year to run on his contract at St Mary's.

52 Spot Kicks: Czech Amateur Game Sets New World Record For Longest Ever Penalty Shoot-Out (Video)

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A marathon match played out in the Czech amateur leagues has set a new world record after the penalty shoot-out finale took a whopping 52 spot-kicks for a winner to emerge.

The game in question was SKBatov's recent win over FC Frystak in the fifth tier of the Czech pyramid, which the home side just about managed to win 21-20 on penalties after extra-time came to an end with the score locked at3-3.

Domino Wizard Produces Superb 24,000 Tile Euro 2016 Display (Video)

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With only six days to go before France and Romania kick off Euro 2016, domino wizard DominoJOJO has produced a superbdisplay which previews all the groups, teams and venues.

Using 24,000 dominoes (I counted them all), the display is superb and with all domino displays, it's rather therapeutic to watch.

Retro Football: Muhammad Ali Calls Out ‘Some Soccer Player’ Brain Clough On Live Television (Video)

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Photo: AP/Press Association

Given last night's truly miserable news, it's only fitting that we pay tribute to Muhammad Ali by once again revisiting one of the great man's only dalliances with the world of football.

It of course came on The Big Match back in the early 1970s, when Brian Moore oversaw a verbal sparring session between Ali and "some soccer player" from London, Brian Clough.

Charlton Flogging Old Boots, Sweat Bands And Sheffield Wednesday Shirts On Ebay To Raise Money For New Media Equipment

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Hardly the marker of a club being run solidly, Charlton have bunged a load of their old bric-a-brac on Ebay in a bid to kit out their media department in timefor next season.

Freshly relegated to League One, Charlton said via an official statement that they are hopingto raise funds for "much-needed equipment" for theirmedia team by auctioning off several shirts (including an old 2014/15 Sheffield Wednesday jersey), a couple of pairs of old boots and a sweatband once worn by Ricardo Fuller.

Transfer Balls: Arsenal Trigger Jamie Vardy’s £20million Transfer Clause

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With Granit Xhaka already in the bag, Arsenal have now turned their attentions to Premier League winner Jamie Vardy, with the Gunners bidding around £20million for the striker.

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The Guardian's Stuart James dropped the story on Friday afternoon, reporting that in bidding between 20-22million for Vardy, Arsenal had triggered the player's release clause for the Leicester City star.

Here’s How The Daily Mail Predicted England’s Euro 2016 Team Would Look Back In 2007…

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Back in 2007, the new Wembley Stadiumhad just been completed and English football had one eye on the future.

The Daily Mail, inspired by a swoon of national sporting optimism, decided to have a bash at predicting England's "Team of the Future" in other words, the 11 finest young talents they had earmarked for great things come 2016.

Official: Leicester City Sign Goalkeeper Ron-Robert Zieler As Competition For Kasper Schmeichel (Photo)

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Leicester City have made their first post-titleforay into the transfer market today to secure the signing ofgoalkeeper Ron-Robert Zieler from Hannover 96.

The 27-year-old German international 'keeper has signed a four-year deal at the King Power, with Hannover reportedly receiving around £2.

End Of A Slightly Daft Era: Steven Taylor Released By Newcastle After 21 Long Years At The Club

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It's a day we never thought we'd see arrive, but Newcastle have confirmed today that Steven Taylorwill be released upon the expiry of his current contract at the end of the month.

Taylor, now 30,first joined the Newcastle youth ranks from Wallsend Boys Club at the age of seven, back in the primordial mists of 1995.

Win Tickets To Watch England In France With Pies And Continental

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It's Euro 96. Thoughts turn to past England trips to France, chief among them that World Cup 98 quarter-final match against Argentina. A match that ended in defeat under the tyranny of penalties, featured David Beckham's red card for his brainless kick at the conniving Diego Simeone, two more spot kicks and a sensational goal from Michael Owen on his debut.

Splish Splash: Things Got A Bit Damp During The Texas Derby Between FC Dallas And Houston Dynamo (Photo & Videos)

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Photo: Ashley Landis/Dallas Morning News (via Telegraph)

Last night's big Texas derby between FC Dallas and Houston Dynamo lasted a mere matter of minutesbefore the referee decided to suspendthe tie.

This was due to the fact that, despite the pitch obviously being fine during the pre-match inspection, unrelenting sheets ofmonsoon rain descended uponthe Toyota Stadium in Frisco within the first four minutes of the game renderingthe playing surface somewhat damper than is strictly standard.

Manchester United Boss Jose Mourinho Set To Play The Pope In New Animated Movie

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Jose Mourinho is reportedly the first choice to provide the voice of Pope Francis in a new animated movie about the apparitions of the Virgin Mary.

Obviously deemed to be sufficiently pious enough for the part, the Manchester United boss has apparently been approached to lend his dulcet tones to the film, entitled 'Fe', which is due for release next year.

Famous France Fan Clement D’Antibes Has His Equally Famous Cockerel Banned From Euro 2016 For ‘Security Reasons’

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'Tis a sad day. The French fan famous for bringing a live chicken to every match will not be able to do so at Euro 2016 over you guessed it security concerns.

Clement d'Antibes and his cockerel Balthazar have become something of an iconic presencefor Les Bleus over the years, but the former claims that the latter has been banned from attending games at the tournament this summer.

England v Portugal: Bruno Alves Sent Off After Ridiculously High Challenge On Harry Kane (Video)

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It's no mean feat to get yourself sent off after just 35 minutes of a friendly game, however, that's exactly what Bruno Alves managed during England's clash with Portugal on Thursday evening.

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England were struggling in the first-half of the game at Wembley, when Kyle Walker headed the ball on to Harry Kane on the right flank.

Aston Villa Appoint Roberto Di Matteo As Head Coach With Steve Clarke As Assistant

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A wee tidbit of afternoon breaking news for ye, in that Aston Villa have named Roberto Di Matteo as their new head coach.

While Villa haven't officially confirmed the appointment yet, BBC Sport are reporting that Di Matteo has taken over with Steve Clarke as his assistant.

The pair have never worked in tandemin a managerial sense but did spend two years on the playing staff together at Chelsea way back when.

German Minnows Rot-Weiss Oberhausen Hope To Tempt Zlatan Ibrahimovic By Making Him King Of Their Town

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While it's unlikely to be the most lucrative offer Zlatan Ibrahimovicreceives over the summer, a team from the regional fourth-tier of German football have nevertheless entered the race to sign the newly-unattached Swedish striker.

Aware that they won't be able to match the financial punch of the likes of Manchester United, semi-professional sideRot-Weiss Oberhausen are hoping that the perks they are piling into their contract offer will be enough to appeal to Ibrahimovic's megalomaniactendencies.

Football Art: Illustrator Elliott Quince Produces Lovely Hand-Drawn Euro 2016 Wall Chart (Featuring Ruud Gullit In His Underpants)

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Just as he has done for the last three major international tournaments, artist Elliott Quince (@ElliottQ) has produced a lovely, hand-drawn wallchart for Euro 2016.

Ruud Gullit circa-1988 is the star of Elliot's Euro 2016 offering, mainly for pun-based reasons (we can only assume!).

Despite the Netherlands not qualifying, [Gullit] has taken it upon himself to travel through time to bring you his guide to a summer of sexy football, featuring facts, stats, maps and stadia plus a cartoon of Ruud in his pants.

Leeds United Appoint Garry Monk As Head Coach For The Next Six Months Or So

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Having parted ways with Steve Evans at the end of the season, Leeds have moved swiftly to appoint Garry Monk as the man to take the helm for the next six months or so.

While the news is still to be confirmed by the club, Sky Sports News are reporting that Monk has signed a one-year contract at Elland Road the short-term nature of the deal presumably a measure to reducethe pay-off he'll be entitled tofrom Massimo Cellino when he's fired in early December.

Ronaldinho Lands Starring Role In Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Latest ‘Kickboxer’ Movie

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Glory be! Yer man Ronaldinhohas only gone and landed himself a starring role in a new blockbuster(ish) movie.

Following Carlo Ancelotti's lead by leaping headlong into the world of cinema, Ronaldinho has signed up to featurealongside Jean-Claude Van Damme in the latest entrant to the 'Kickboxer' canon.

Boing! Javier Hernandez Pops Up To Score Cracking Little Header As Mexico Pip Chile At The Buzzer (Videos)

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Javier Hernandez scored to move within two goals of Jared Borgetti at the top of Mexico's all-time top scorer list andsnaffleEl Tri a narrow win over Chile in their final pre-Copa America warm-up friendly on Wednesday evening.

Chicharito quite literally popped up in the 86th minute to head home the only goal of the game, straining every single sinew in his body to connect with Miguel Layun's hanging cross at the far post.

Official: Pep Guardiola Spluffs £20m To Make Ilkay Gundogan His First Signing At Man City

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Manchester City have made the first signing of Pep Guardiola's tenure, parting with around £20million to bring in Ilkay Gundogan from Borussia Dortmund.

City made the signing official this morning with the club confirming that the German midfielder has agreed a four-year contract...


An Offer They Couldn’t Refuse: Paul Ince And Jimmy Bullard Star In Cringeworthy Godfather-Spoofing Carling TV Advert (Video)

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Ahead of EURO 2016, purveyors of mediocre booze Carling are pushing a new money-making scheme, by selling televisions at a price per inch. If the 'Pay Per Inch' concept is rather odd, then the TV advert they've put together to market the initiative is even more strange, with Paul Ince and Jimmy Bullard re-enacting a cringeworthy scene from the Godfather.

Euro 2016 Artwork: French Illustrator Florian Nicolle Produces 24 Beautiful Team Posters For ESPN (Photos)

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Just as they did for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, ESPN have again commissioned a native artist to produce a set of posters for each of the 24 teams participating at Euro 2016 this summer.

The artist of which we speak is Florian Nicolle (@neoinnov), who has knocked out a series of lovely splotchy, scratchy poster all of which feature a recurring motto tailoredto the country in question.

Lousiana-Based Rafters FC Unveil Debonair ‘Seersucker Suit’ Kit, Complete With Dickie Bow (Photo)

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Continuing the seemingly worldwide trend of lower league sides pumping out truly ridiculous kits, US fourth-tier side Rafters FC have decided to use their new strip to pay homage to their home state of Louisiana.

Indeed, Rafters have announced that they are planning to wear a jersey inspired by the stripy Seersucker linen suits beloved of southern gents of yore in their next game against theNew Orleans Jesters on 7th June.

‘Will Grigg’s On Fire’ Chant Almost Makes iTunes Top 10 After Being Released As Charity Single

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Remember, not so very long ago, when we brought you news of the Wigan fan who landed himself a complimentaryseason ticket for concocting a chant about Latics striker Will Grigg that proved an instant hit with his fellow supporters?

That fan was Sean Kennedy, who lifted the melody frommid-90s dance classic ‘Freed from Desire' by Gala to create his masterpiece 'Will Grigg's On Fire, Your Defence Is Terrified'.

Whoops: David Alaba Scores Farcical Own-Goal As Austria Just About Beat Malta (Video)

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Normally so reliable and cool under pressure, it was David Alaba who scored the late own-goal that made Austria's friendly win over Malta on Tuesday night seem an awful lot narrower that it perhaps should have been.

Having been drubbed 6-0 by the Czech Republic last Friday, Malta scrapped their way to a relativelyimpressive 2-1 defeat against the Austrians, with Alaba's ridiculous botch gifting thevisitorsa consolation goal in the final few minutes of the match.

Euro 2016: Liverpool’s James Milner Named Fifth Best Player In Europe By UEFA

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Ahead of EURO 2016, UEFA has published its latest rankings for players from teams involved in the competition, with none other than England's James Milner named as the fifth best player.

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The 'SOCAR Player Barometer' uses performance data for both club and country from the start of 2016 for its rankings, with only Cristiano Ronaldo, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Antoine Griezmann and Dimitri Payet outdoing Milner.