Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2015

Official: Leicester City Sack Nigel Pearson Because Of Something Or Other

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By Chris Wright

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You may remember that not so very long ago, having already been sacked then immediately re-instated once before several months beforehand, Nigel PearsontookLeicester City on afrankly astounding LWWWWLWWDW run duringtheir last 10 games of the season to stave off relegation in phenomenal style.

Samuel Eto’o Saves Time Saying Goodbye To Sampdoria By Just Copy And Pasting His Entire Everton Farewell Letter

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By Chris Wright

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With a move to Turkish side Antalyaspor reportedly a whisker from going through, Samuel Eto'o has been busy saying his goodbyes after awhistle-stopyear in Serie A with Sampdoria.

However, rather than going through the rigmarole of penning a fresh open letter to thank the "warm, passionate and affectionate" Samp fans for their support over the last 12 months, Eto'o simply dug out the letter he penned to the "warm, passionate and affectionate" Everton fans last summer, changed the names around a bit and sent it to print.

The New Nike Ordem 2015/16 Premier League Match Ball Is Definitely…Eye-Catching (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Nike have unveiled the new match-ball to be used in the Premier League next season.

It's called the Ordem 3, it'll cost you the best part of £100 and thisis what you'll get in return...

You know the drill: It's rounder and more geometric than everyadda yadda yadda.

On This Day In 2002: Record-Breaking Brazilians Lift Fifth World Cup Out In Japan (Video)

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By Martin Cloake

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On this very day in 2002, Brazil won a record-breaking fifth World Cup title by beating Germany 2-0 in front of 69,029 spectators at Yokohama's International Stadium.

Both goals were scored by Ronaldo, whose eight tournament goals secured him the Golden Boot and finally laid to rest the memory of his mysterious failure to turn up at the 1998 final in France.

Gervinho’s Move To Abu Dhabi Club Collapses Over ‘Obscene Demands’ For Helicopter And Private Beach

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By Chris Wright

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"...and I want a race car and a laser gun and a swimming pool and a fighter jet and a skyscraper and..."

Bad news for all the Al Jazira fans out there, it looks like Gervinho and his magical forehead won't be joining your club any time soon.

Football Tat: PSG Are Willing To Sell You Their Old Penalty Spot For Just £3,500 (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Being the jolly decentfolks they are, the good people over at PSG are willing to sell you their old, disused penalty spot for the low, low price of just several thousand Euros.

The Ligue 1 champions are in the process of opening a brand new club megastore in Paris city centre and as such have put a very special item of memorabilia on sale to help rope the new punters in the old penalty spot from the Parc des Princes.

Old Romantic: Belarusian Player Sergey Levitskiy Proposes To His Girlfriend After Scoring (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Let's face it, seeing a player getting carried away on a wave of endorphins after scoring a goal (and usually thrashingthe living daylights out of various bits of pitchside paraphernalia) is hardly a rare occurrence in football.

However, FC Slutsk midfielder Sergey Levitskiy used his post-goal chemical surge for good after bagging a goal in his unfortunately-named side's 4-0 tonking of FC Neman at the weekend.

Roma’s Debonair New 2015/16 Away Kit Features Historical Map Of Rome City Centre (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

As well as being an absolute Bobby Dazzler in its own right, the new Roma away kit for 2015/16 is a little bit special in another, altogether more subtle way.

Upon closer inspection, themottled white shirt is not just infused with a random splotchy pattern, oh no.

Copa America Vine: Eduardo Vargas Bags Long-Range Beauty As Chile Beat Peru To Reach Final

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By Alan Duffy

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QPR fans will no doubt be wondering why Eduardo Vargas didn't do this a bit more often last season, after the Chilean produced a magnificent long-range strike against Peru on Tuesday night.

The 64th minute goal secured a hard-fought 2-1 victory for the Copa America hosts, despite playing most of the game against 10-men after Carlos Zambrano was shown red for a wildfollowing-through onCharles Aranguiz.

Romanian Village Spend €18,000 On New Football Pitch Only To Leave Massive Tree Slap, Bang In The Middle Of It (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Despite forking out almost £13,000 for the privilege of installing a brand new public football pitch, aRomanian village have collectively decided against uprooting anancient tree that is sat slap, bang in the middle of it.

The village councilof Tonciu in northern Romania raised €18,000 (approx.

Official: Petr Cech Writes Personal Letter Thanking Roman Abramovich After Completing Arsenal Transfer

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By Chris Wright

The deal is done. Petr Cech is an Arsenal player...

It's official... @PetrCech has agreed to join @Arsenal! Full story here: http://t.co/09V3x81fiQ #WelcomeCech pic.twitter.com/Ov0UmAk2U5

- Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) June 29, 2015

Cech has moved to Arsenalafter agreeing terms on a "long-term contract", rumouredto be four years, for an undisclosed fee said to be somewhere up around the £11million mark all in.

Cristiano Ronaldo Flogs His Image Rights To Valencia Owner Peter Lim

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By Chris Wright

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Cristiano Ronaldo has announced that his face is no longer his own after selling his image rights to Singapore-based investmentbillionairePeter Lim, the fellow who just so happens to be Valencia's majority shareholder.

Lim also holds a 50% stake in Salford City FC, the non-league side run by Manchester United alumniRyan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Nicky Butt and both Gary and Phil Neville which may or may not (or definitely may) explain the latter's recent links to the assistant manager position at Valencia.

Japanese Club V-Varen Nagasaki Celebrate 10-Year Anniversary With Dapper ‘Tuxedo’ Kit (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

In order to celebrate the club's 10th year of existence, Hummel have furnished Japanese side V-Varen Nagasaki with a suitably triumphantthird strip for 2015/16.

Set to be officially unveiled on July 4th, the new V-Varen takes the form of the classic 'joke tuxedo' shirt and is seen here alongside the corresponding white goalkeeper jersey.

Mario Gotze Goes Above And Beyond After Being Blamed By Angry FIFA 15 Fan For Destroyed Playstation Controller (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

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We've all been there, suffering at the hands of an interminable video game. The rage. The despair. The absolute f**king bullshit on toast.

That was the exact gamut of emotions experienced by FIFA 15 fan Mario Thiessen, who recently descended into a fit of blind fury after botching a dramatic 90th-minute penalty while playing as Bayern Munich.

Puma ‘EvoSPEED SL 3D Camo’ Boots Weigh Next To Nothing And Only Last For 10 Games – Though They Do Come With Free Pair Of 3D Glasses (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

What you see afore ye are the new Puma EvoSPEED SL 3D Camo boots currently being sportedby Sergio Aguero and the like.

They are the limited edition version of the new EvoSPEED SL line the'SL' standing for 'super light' and they are just that.

In fact, one boot weighs just 103 grams about as much as a baby Java mouse deer to put that into some kind of context for you.

On This Day In 2002: Hakan Sukur Scores The Fastest Goal In World Cup History (Video)

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By Martin Cloake

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11 seconds. That's all it took for Turkey's all-time top goalscorer Hakan Sukur to score the fastest goal in World Cup history on 29th June 2002.

The goal came in the third-place play-off as Turkey played co-hosts South Korea.

Phil Neville Both Has And Hasn’t Been Appointed As Valencia Assistant Manager

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By Chris Wright

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There's been an unexpected and slightly confusing yarn concerning Phil Neville emanating from La Liga over the past day or so, with the news that the former Manchester United manboth has and indeedhasn't been appointed as the new Valencia assistant manager.

Transfer Balls: Arsenal Splurge £21million On Vidal, Liverpool Claim Clyne, Juventus Ogle Oscar

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Gunners Splurge £21million On Vidal

With Morgan Schneiderlin apparently headed for Old Trafford, Arsenal have turned their attention to Juventus midfielder Arturo Vidal.

Inter Milan Star Xherdan Shaqiri Dresses Up As Hoary Old Coach, Pranks Swiss Youth Team (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

Swiss attacker Xherdan Shaqiri starred in a rather nifty prank for Swiss TV this week. The Inter Milan winger took on the role of legendary coach "Hansueli Strasser", who was to oversee a coaching session with a Swiss youth team.

While initially, Shaqiri's make-up and wig provided the requisite camouflage, it wasn't too long before the former Bayern Munich star's fancy footwork had the lads suspecting that something was up.

Women’s World Cup – The Best Bits: England 2-1 Canada (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

England made more history in the 2015 Women's World Cup on Saturday night, making it into the semi-finals for the first time ever after a 2-1 win against hosts Canada.

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Canada made a strong start, withMelissa Tancredifailing to most of a great early chance.

Tottenham Fan Reports Paulinho’s Unwarranted £30k Pay Rise To Barclays Bank As ‘Fraudulent Activity’

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By Chris Wright

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After contributing the square root of Sweet Fanny Adams to the cause since Corinthians somehow managed to milk£17million out of Tottenham for him in 2013, Paulinho is now currently on the verge of completing a move to Guangzhou Evergrande, theChinese Super League side managed by Phil Scolari.

Transfer Balls: Man City Do Deal For Delph, Newcastle Mad For Mitrovic, Sunderland Focus On Lens

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Citizens Doing Deal For Delph

The Mirror report that Manchester City are hoping to sign Fabian Delph for just £10million.

Official: Carlos Tevez Returns To Boca Juniors And Where His Heart Does Lie

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By Chris Wright

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As it was foretoldin the prophesy, Boca Juniors' prodigal son (or one of them, at least) has returned. Carlos Tevez has rejoined his boyhood club from Juventus after nine years scavenging the wastes ofEuropean football.

Having joined Boca as a young'n, Tevez made his senior debut for the Buenos Aires side in 2001 at the age of 16.

Women’s World Cup – The Best Bits: France 1-1 Germany (4-5 Pens) (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Despite outplaying Germany for long periods of this Women's World Cup quarter-final clash, France simply couldn't finish the job, with wastefulness in front of goal culminating in a spot-kick defeat.

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Les Bleues started superbly, with playmaker Louisa Necib missing a sitter.

Busted Flush: Corinthians ‘Praying Day And Night’ They’ll Be Able To Sell Former Prodigy Alexandre Pato

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By Chris Wright

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Nice weather for ducks

There was a time, not so very long ago, that Alexandre Pato looked like the cat's pyjamas.

After making waves as a 16/17-year-old in his debut 'senior' season at Internacional, it looked like AC Milan had snaffled themselves a bit of a bargain despiteparting with€22million to bring the prodigious Brazilian striker to the San Siro in August of 2007.

‘We Will Not Tolerate It’ – FSV Mainz To Offload Gonzalo Jara Over ‘Disgusting’ Copa America Oil Check Antics

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By Chris Wright

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Not only is he currently being probedby CONMEBOL but it also looks like Gonzalo Jara is on the verge of finding himself out of a job on the domestic front too.

The defendercaused uproar during Chile's recent Copa America win over Uuruguay when he gave Edinson Cavani a complimentary, though very much unsolicited oil-check with an hour of the match gone.

Random Great Goals: Oktay Derelioglu Single-Handedly Destroys Belgium With An Absolute Whopper, 1997 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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Thenames of several of the last greatTurkey squad of the late 90'swill forever be laser-etched in our memory: Hakan Sukur,Emre Belozoglu, Tugay Kerimoglu, Rustu Recber, Sergen Yalcin, YildirayBasturk, Alpay, etc, etc but sadlyOktay Derelioglu's just isn't one of them.

PSV Eindhoven’s Swanky New ‘Bespoke’ 2015/16 Kits Are A Bit Of Alright (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Having ditched long-time providers Nike for Umbro at the end of last season, the new PSV Eindhoven kits for 2015/16 have been rolled out this morning and by 'eck are they easy on the eye.

Umbro have created two bespoke strips for PSV (no templates here!

Transfer Balls: Man Utd Seal Deal For Schneiderlin, Liverpool Hell-Bent On Benteke, Arsenal In For Arturo Vidal

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Man Utd Seal Deal For Schneiderlin

The Independent (along with everyone else) tell us that it is Manchester United and not Arsenal, who have sealed a deal for Morgan Schneiderlin.

Lineker, Lawrenson, Stelling And Lynam All Feature In Cracking New Football Pundit Colouring Book (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Are you ever suddenly overcome with catatonic melancholy and despair because there isn't a decent dedicated football pundit colouring book out there to really get stuck into? Well, despair no more, you pathetic fool!

Thanks to the good people at Pundit Colouring(@punditcolouring), the object of your wildest fevered yearningis now a reality.

Official: Everton Sign Gerard Deulofeu From Barcelona In £4.25m Bargain Deal

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By Chris Wright

The wonderful news emanating from Goodison Park this afternoon is that Everton have tied up a deal for former Barcelona prodigy Gerard Deulofeu.

The Spanish winger, who spent 2014/15on loan at Sevilla from Barca having spent the previous season at Everton on similar terms, joins for a fee of around £4.

Arsenal To Debut Daring New ‘Body Paint’ Away Kit For 2015/16 (Leaked Photo)

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By Chris Wright

It's been heading that way for a couple of seasons now, but it seems that Arsenal and Puma are finally making the leap into kits that you actually have to paint on yourself.

That's if the leaked photos of their new 2015/16 away kit are anything to go by.

We’ll Get Right-Back To You: Southampton Accept Liverpool’s £12.5m Bid For Nathaniel Clyne

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By Chris Wright

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Having already a couple of opening offers knocked back, Liverpool have finally broken Southampton's resolve and had a £12.5million bid for Nathaniel Clyne accepted.

According to the Evening Standard, the dealisof the '£10.

Transfer Balls: Man Utd & Arsenal Circle For Schneiderlin, Real Madrid Keen On Koscielny, Chelsea Reel In Rehman

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Schneiderlin Headed For Man Utd And Arsenal

The papers are awash with speculation over the future of Morgan Schneiderlin.

Cult Heroes: ‘Rogue Rocket’ Ronnie Rosenthal Scores Hat-Trick To Cement Tottenham Cult Status, 1995 (Video)

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By Martin Cloake

Once memorably described as "a rogue rocket waiting to be aborted by mission control" by The Guardian's David Lacey, Ronnie Rosenthal twice achieved cult status at Tottenham Hotspur.

Signed from Liverpool for £200,000 in 1994 by then-manager Ossie Ardiles, Ronny soon became the one spark of passion in a club bled of most of its personality and spirit by the combined efforts of Ardiles's successor Gerry Francis and chairman Alan Sugar.

Gird Your Loins, Robert Huth Is Bringing The Sexy Times Back To Leicester City

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By Chris Wright

BREAKING: #lcfc have signed Robert Huth from Stoke on a three-year deal. Full story: http://t.co/x7ugpjq4Ht #huthlcfc pic.twitter.com/lQPEMTy81t

- Leicester City (@OfficialFOXES) June 24, 2015

As you've no doubt heard, Leicester City have moved fast to get one of the transient alumni of their 2014/15 great escape back on board on permanent terms with the £3.

Copa America: Edinson Cavani Sent Off After Gonzalo Jara Jams His Fingers Where The Sun Don’t Shine (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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Mad scenes in the Copa America last night, where Edinson Cavani was shown a second yellow card on the hour mark of Uruguay's quarter-final clash against Chile.

His crime? Giving Gonzalo Jara a quick rap across the face after the Chilean defender subjected him to the old 'Santiago Stinkfinger' behind the referee's back before going down theatrically when the Uruguayan striker took umbrage at being rectally violated.

Felipe Melo Joins The App Racket With Launch Of ‘Felipe Melo Z’ Zombie Apocalypse Mobile Game

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By Chris Wright

Saints be praised. The Felipe Melo zombie apocalypse mobile game that the world has been crying out for for so long is finally upon us!

Following hot on the heels of Cristiano Ronaldo's maiden foray into the app racket, Galatasaray scrapper Felipe Melo has announced the launch of 'Felipe Melo Z', his brand new zombie 'tower defence-style' game.

EURO U21s – The Best Bits: England 1-3 Italy (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

England crashed out of the EURO U21 group stagesafter losing 3-1 to Italy inOlomouc, a result which will no doubt spark another debate over the future of the English game.

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Boss Gareth Southgate brought inBrighton's Jake Forster-Caskey, with Everton'sJohn Stones also starting along with Danny Ings and Jesse Lingard.

Barcelona Celebrate Lionel Messi’s 28th Birthday By Sharing Previously Unreleased Footage Of His ‘Cadete A’ Days (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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The depressing fact of the matter is that today is only Lionel Messi's 28th birthday a man who has already broken more records and surpassed more milestones in football than is strictly decent.

To celebrate their little maestro turning the big two-eight, Barcelona have shared a swatch of previously unreleased footage of Messi back in his Cadete A (Barca's top youth side) days.

Subway Barracked By Liverpool Fans After Accidentally Using Two Images Of Raheem Sterling In Facebook Advert (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

With Liverpool about to swan off to Australia for a pre-season jolly, club sponsors Subway eagerly pumped out a promotional competitionto hype theReds'arrival down under.

Indeed, the US-based sarnie-mongers announceda contestfor one lucky fan to win VIPticketsto the upcoming friendly against Adelaide United over on their official Facebook page.

Steven Gerrard Opens Up And Admits He Regrets Two Things: Not Working With Jose Mourinho And ‘The Slip’

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By Chris Wright

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With one foot in Los Angeles and the end of the line now crowning over the horizon, Steven Gerrard has come over all wistful in his old age.

Indeed, the departing Liverpool legend has been reeling in the years, looking back and taking stock of his long and storied career of late, admitting that he has but two real regrets when it comes to his halcyon days.

Women’s World Cup: Japan Combine To Score Magnificent Team Goal Before Conceding Absolute Howler (Videos)

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By Chris Wright

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The quarter-finals of the Women's World Cup have shaped up nicely, with the last eight offering up some enticing grudge clashes between China and the USA, Germany and France, andEngland's date of destiny withthe hosts, Canada.

Official: Liverpool Complete £29m Deal For Roberto Firmino

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By Chris Wright

Liverpool have signed Brazil international Roberto Firmino this morning, chucking almost £30million at Hoffenheim for the pleasure thus making him the club's second most expensive signing of all time behind 'you know who'.

Having signed a five-year contract, the 23-year-old attacking midfielderwill move toAnfield once he's done missing glorious chances at the Copa America and passed a medical.

Transfer Balls: Di Maria Destined For Bayern (Or Barcelona), Newcastle Thwarted Over Thauvin, Arsenal Miss Out On Martinez

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Di Maria Destined For Bayern

With Manchester United eager to secure the services of Bastian Schweinsteiger, Bayern Munich are apparently now keen to add Angel Di Maria to any deal between the two clubs.

Ingenious: Go Ahead Eagles Appoint VIP Fan To Club’s Board So He Can Attend Historic Europa League Fixture Despite Ferencvaros Stadium Ban

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By Chris Wright

Having sneaked into the Europa League qualification rounds via the Eredivisie fair play table despite being relegated, Dutch club Go Ahead Eagles are now all set to play European football for the first time in half a century.

Go Ahead Eagles' upcoming qualification double-header against Ferencvaros (on the 2nd and 9th July) will also be only the second time the club have competed in European competition, the first instance being a fairly conclusive 7-0 aggregate thumping from Celtic in the preliminary rounds in 1965.

20 Craptastic MLS And NASL Football Mascots Of Yesteryear

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By Chris Wright

With Partick Thistle foisting their new mascot, Kingsley the soul-reaper, on us yesterday, we decided to have a shufty at some of the other risible mascots football has been besmirched with over the years.

Indeed, we decided to focus on the land that pretty much introduced the concept of the modern day mascot, the land of the Phillie Phanatic and the Capital City Goofball: the good ol' Yoo Ess of Ay.

Football Vine: Arsene Wenger Welcomes Petr Cech To Arsenal

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By Alan Duffy

This is quite superb! The Bleacher Report folk have produced this cracking LOTR-inspired vine which perfectly sums up Arsene Wenger's (imminent) anointing of Petr Cech as his new number one. Although check out Arsene's disappearing Gandalph beard!

Arsene has struggled with his purchasing of goalkeepers since coming to Arsenal, with arguably only Alex Manninger (before Wenger messed up his confidence) and Jens Lehmann proper decent buys, although maybe I'm being harsh on David Ospina!

Parma Officially Declared Bankrupt And Relegated Down To Serie D, Calcio’s Highest Amateur Division

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By Chris Wright

The fitting end to a truly miserable season,pennilessParma have been declared bankrupt and relegated from Serie A down to Serie D Italian football's highestamateur division.

As a quick recap, Parma have run the entire gamut of self-destruction over the course of the campaign; being sold not once but twice for the princely sum of€1, finding themselves unable to fulfil fixtures due to matchday costs, seeing their chairman arrested on suspicion of money laundering and even having to resort to putting their dressing room benches up for sale in a bid to raise a few desperate quid.

Transfer Balls: Arsenal In For Aubameyang, Liverpool Follow Up On Firmino, Man Utd Set For £150m Quadruple Splurge

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Arsenal In For Aubameyang

According to the Star, Arsenal are readying a big-money move for Borussia Dortmund attackerPierre-Emerick Aubameyang .

Women’s World Cup – The Best Bits: Norway 1-2 England (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

England secured their first-ever Women's World Cup knockout stages victory after a hard-fought 2-1 win against Norway.

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The Norwegians dominated the first-half, with Karen Bardsley saving from Isabell Herlovsen and Ada Hegerberg.

J-League: Kawasaki Frontale’s Cracking Limited Edition Kit Features ‘Special Tribute’ To Their Brand New Main Stand (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Kawasaki's new kit, as seen from the Frontale and the Backtale

Having opened a brand new Main Stand at their stadium earlier in the year, Japanese side KawasakiFrontale are now planning to wear aspecial commemorative kit to honour it that's how proud they are of their handiwork!

Partick Thistle Unveil Terrifying New Club Mascot, As Designed By Artist David Shrigley (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Hey everybody. Meet 'Kingsley', Partick Thistle's absolutely bloody terrifying new club mascot...

Introducing our new mascot, designed by @davidshrigley, Kingsley. pic.twitter.com/78HQuQCUI8

- PartickThistle FC (@ThistleTweet) June 22, 2015

Kingsley was designed summoned into the mortal realm through the fiery gates of the underworld by Turner Award-nominated artist David Shrigley, a lifelong Partick Thistle fan who also happens to be a close personal friend of the manager of Kingsford Capital investment firm, the club's new principal sponsor.

UEFA Rules Force England U21s To Board Team Bus For 130 Metre Journey Between Hotel And Stadium (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Just when you were thinking football's top brass couldn't make themselves look any more ludicrous, something happens that reminds you we're dealing with a special breed of stupid here.

To wit, UEFA protocol demands that all teams arrive for UEFA-sanctionedmatches on their official coaches.

MLS: Andrea Pirlo Agrees ‘Megadeal’ To See Out His Footballing Days At New York City FC

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By Chris Wright

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It looks like Andrea Pirlo will be bowing out alongside Frank Lampard at New York City FC, that's if the New York Post are to be believed.

According to the Post, Pirlo has all but agreed to join NYCFC with a and we quote "MEGADEAL" in place to bringthe 36-year-old to MLS from Juventus, who have already signed Sami Khedira from Real Madrid as the veteran'sready-made replacement.

Headstrong: Real Salt Lake’s Luke Mulholland Goes Above And Beyond To Defend His Own Goal-Line (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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If there's one thing you can't accuse Real Salt Lake midfielder Luke Mulholland of, it's a lack of dedication to the cause.

With the Salt Lake defenceattempting to scramble a dangerous ball clearagainst Sporting KCyesterday, Mulholland showed the kind of grunt that would make Scott Parker look like a lily-livered pinkowhimbrel.

Women’s World Cup: Classy France Net Three Silky Team Goals On Way To Beating South Korea (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

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France set up a heavyweight quarter-final clash with Germany at the Women's World Cup after cruising to victory against South Korea.

While the Germans and fellow tournament favourites USA have the power to win the tournament, Les Bleues definitely possess the poise, as their three goals against the Koreans highlighted.

Transfer Balls: Man Utd Reel In Ramos, Liverpool Bid For Bacca, Southampton Set For Austin

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Red Devils Reel In Ramos

With Sergio Ramos apparently unhappy at the Bernabeu, the Metro are quick to link the swashbuckling defender with a move to Manchester United.

On This Day In 1986: Diego Maradona Scores With The Hand Of God And The Feet Of A Genius (Video)

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"What hand of God? It was the hand of Diego, and it was like pickpocketing the English too."

It's 28 years ago today since one of the most iconic, or infamous – depending on your point of view – goals in the entire footballing pantheon.

The 1986 World Cup quarter-final between England and Argentina at Mexico's Azteca Stadium was watched by 114,580 spectators and a global TV audience of millions.

‘I Am A Candidate’ – Diego Maradona To Run For FIFA Presidency

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By Chris Wright

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Diego Maradona has reportedly thrown his leopard skin cowboy hat into the ring and announced himself as a candidate for the FIFA presidency.

The reportscome courtesy ofUruguayan journalist and author Victor Hugo Morales, who claims that Maradona told him in conversation that he plans to enter the running to replace Sepp Blatter at the top of the FIFA tree.

Brown Alert: Porto’s Manure-Coloured New Balance 2015/16 Away Kit Is Yuck…Just Yuck! (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Looking like a pile of horse manure steaming at the side of the road on a warm day, here's Porto's horrendous new 2015/16 away kit from New Balance...

#SemIgual. Without Equal. The 2015/16 New Balance @FCPorto away kit.

Wes Morgan Emerges As The Real Winner Of The 2015 Copa America (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

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Jamaica may well have ended their run at this year's Copa America by washing up dead last in Group B without a single point to their nameon the back of three straight defeats, but still it would appear that centre-back Wes Morgan has emerged as the tournament's real winner.

Euro U21s: Jesse Lingard Nets Fine Volley As England Secure Vital Win Against Sweden (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

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Man Utd youngster Jesse Lingard kept alive England's hopes of qualification for the knockout stages of the EURO U21 finals with an 85th minute cracker against Sweden.

Calmly chesting the ball down from the Swedish goalkeeper's punch, the second-half subvolleyed home to move Gareth Southgate's charges into second place in Group B, courtesy of a 1-0 win.

Copa America: Jamaica Striker Deshorn Brown Bags Post-Match Selfie With Lionel Messi (Photo & Video)

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By Chris Wright

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"Say 'queso'..."

Realising that there was, in all likelihood, no Earthly way he'd ever share a pitch with him again, Jamaica striker Deshorn Brown seized his once-in-a-career chance to bag a sweaty post-match selfie with Lionel Messi just minutes after the final whistle of Jamaica's 1-0 Copa America defeat against Argentina last night.

Transfer Balls: Man City Meet £50m Asking Price For Sterling, Man Utd Sweet For Schweinsteiger, Chelsea Going For A(lex) Song

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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CitizensToSeal Sterling Deal

Manchester City's campaign to lure Raheem Sterling to the Etihad is set to go up a notchaccording to the Express, with the Citizens readying a new £50million bid for the attacker.

Stoke City Re-Sign Andy Wilkinson On Rolling Contract As ‘Gesture Of Goodwill’ Until He Finds New Club

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By Chris Wright

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It's been a bit of a slow day at the coal face today but thankfully Stoke City have provided us, the footballing public, with a nice little yarn to keep things ticking over.

As you may or may not be aware, Stoke released full-back Andy Wilkinson at the end of the season, thus leaving the 30-year-old full-back clubless for the first time in his career havingcomethrough the ranks at the Potters,his hometown club,as a youngster.

Retro Football: Dennis Bergkamp’s 120 Arsenal Goals In All Their Twinkle-Toed Glory (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

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20 years ago today, a certain Dennis Bergkamp joined Arsenal for £7.5million, with the Gunners trebling their previous transfer record to secure the services of the attacker. However, after a disappointing time with Inter Milan, the big-money purchase Bergkamp was seen as something of a gamble by Arsenal boss Bruce Rioch.

Done Deal: Tottenham Sign Kieran Trippier From Burnley On Five-Year Deal (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Rubber-stamped as of this afternoon, Tottenham have signed right-back Kieran Trippier from Burnley on a five-year deal.

The 24-year-old, who enjoyed a decent old season last campaign despite the Clarets going down,joins Spurs for an undisclosed fee, believed to be in the region of £3.

Twitter Study Finds Chelsea Boast The Premier League’s Least Passionate Fans

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By Chris Wright

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Astudy, conducted byShine Communications, has found that Chelsea boast the Premier League's least passionate fans on Twitter (as well as in general).

Shine collectedtheir data by keeping tabs on the number of Tweets sent by fans mentioning their clubs, and in turn assessing the proportion of said Tweets that qualified as ‘happy' or positive with the totalnumber offollowers each of the teams in the top-flight last season had also being factored into the results.

West Ham And Umbro Pay Homage And Wave Goodbye With Beautiful New ‘Boleyn Ground’ Kit (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

With Umbro bang on point yet again, West Ham's new home kit for 2015/16 both pays homage and waves goodbye to the club's home of 111 years.

As the Hammers gear up for one last season at Upton Park before moving into the Olympic Stadium down the road, they will do so wearing a kit inspired by the very first strip worn by the Hammers at the Boleyn Ground in 1904 (also made by Umbro).

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: Washington Diplomats’ Hideous Blue Fuzz Monstrosity (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Welcome to Washington DC, Johan...

Nope, us neither.

Hands up, there isn't a single thing we can tell you about this blue, fuzzy, matted, snorkel-faced, aardvarky-looking monstrosity except that it served asmascot for NASL sideWashington Diplomats during the mid-to-late 1970s and early 80s.

Norway Players Address Stereotypes About Women’s Game In Brilliant Spoof Documentary (Video)

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By Chris Wright

This is just so ace that it doesn't really need an introduction beyond us telling you that the Norwegian Women's World Cup squad have filmed an excellent mock documentary a mockumentary if you will entitled 'We Suck At Football' that addresses all the same old boring stereotypes, misgivings and criticisms of the women's game, complete with fake tears.

Cristiano Ronaldo Has Galaxy Named After Him (The Space Thing, Not The Chocolate Bar)

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By Alan Duffy

"What's your galaxy called then, Gareth, eh?"

Not that his ego needed boosting, but twinkled-toed, perma-groomed superstar Cristiano Ronaldo has had a galaxy named after him. The 'CR7′ galaxy which is, er, somewhere out in space, has existed for 13 billion years, according to Dr David Sobral of the University of London, who named the galaxy.

Transfer Balls: Aguero Staying With Man City, Witsel Headed For Chelsea, Illarramendi Set For Liverpool

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Aguero Staying With Citizens

The Mirror tells us that Argentine goal-getter Sergio Aguero is staying put at the Etihad, despite interest from La Liga behemoths Real Madrid.

‘Three-Nostriled Demon Child’ Mascot Terrifies Everybody Before England’s Euro U21 Championship Opener (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

The collective blood of the watching public suddenly rancold this evening as the camera panned along the England side shortly before their opening Euro U21 Championship group game against Portugal.

The reason? Their eyes hadall been met by the cold, dead glare of the 'three-nostriled Hitler demon child' stationedamongthe mascots.

The Porto 2015/16 New Balance Home Kit Is A Mighty Handsome Brute (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Such a happy bunch of chappies

As New Balance continue to roll out their new line of football clobber for 2015/16, the new Porto home kit is now upon us and a mighty, mighty handsome brute it is too...

The corresponding 'keeper kit...

Very smart.

Done Deal: Southampton Sign Right-Back Cedric Soares From Sporting, Nathaniel Clyne Free To Toddle Off?

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By Chris Wright

It's official: Cedric Soares is now a Southampton player...

CONFIRMED: #SaintsFC sign Portugal defender Cédric Soares on a four-year contract from @Sporting_CP. https://t.co/PmBSQ3AM0N

- Southampton FC (@SouthamptonFC) June 18, 2015

Soares, who was born in Germany but has four Portugal caps to his name, is a 23-year-old right-back who signs for Saints from Sporting Lisbon on a four-year deal for nowt.

Random Great Goal: Johan Elmander Scores ‘Greatest Ever Premier League Goal’ With Virtuoso Effort Against Wolves, 2010 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

There wasn't an awful lot that could be considered 'pretty' about Johan Elmander duringhis three years at Bolton, with the Swedish target man earning his crust as a (perfectlyeffective) defender-muscling nuisance and a (slightly lesseffective) point-and-shoot finisher who seemed to do most of his best work away from the Reebok Stadium in gritty, close away encounters.

Ego Tripping Across The Universe: Cristiano Ronaldo Now Has An Entire Galaxy Named After Him

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By Chris Wright

"I'd like to take a moment to talk to you about the infinite beauty of the cosmos"

With multiple business side-ventures already up and running and a steady slew of sponsors queueing around the block to align themselves with his brand, there isn't much that Cristiano Ronaldo hasn't had the opportunity to slaphis name on over the past decade or so.

Arsenal, Take Note: Your Kit Launches Are Terrifying And Weird

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By Sam Diss

(Photo: Tom Oldham ©)

I remember when kit launches were low-key affairs, and jerseys were left to speak for themselves. Not that they haven't long been easily marketable beacons of instantly recognisable iconography, stretched thin in something breathe-lite and figure-hugging it's just now the launches have become so increasingly weird.

Neymar Sent Off After Brazil’s Copa America Game Against Colombia As Spectacular Dive Sparks Silly Mini-Skirmish (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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Things got a tad ugly at the tail end oflast night's Copa America group tie between Brazil and Colombia, with Neymar and Carlos Bacca both being administered with post-match red cards after an entirely silly mini-skirmish broke out after the final whistle.

Arturo Vidal Escapes With Minor Injuries After Totalling His Ferrari ‘Under The Influence Of Alcohol’

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By Chris Wright

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Yes you, you bloody dipstick

The news emanating from Chile this morning is that Arturo Vidal spent last night under the roof ofhis local constabulary after totalling his Ferrari on the outskirts of Santiago while driving under the influence of alcohol.

No Way Pellegrin-ay: Liverpool Reject Man City’s ‘Final Offer’ £40m Bid For Raheem Sterling

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By Chris Wright

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It's being reported by several sources this morning that Liverpool have once again dashed Man City's dreams on the rocks of reality this morning by knocking back their "final" offer forRaheem Sterling.

The bid is said to be worth £35million with £5million's worth of additional add-ons which, with the application of basic mathematics, totals a total of £40million in total.

Hey Look Everybody, It’s Marouane Fellaini With Seaweed On His Head! (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

We don't want to jinx it, but we think we've seen ‘World Press Photo sports image ofthe year 2015' material on the front page of Belgian newspaperHet Nieuwsblad today...

Stirring, beautiful, thought-provoking.

It's the kind of image that immediately makes you question all you previously held to be true, as all good photojournalism should.

Copa America: Lionel Messi And Diego Godin Are Perfectly, Weirdly Synchronised (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Proof if proof were needed that the replicants are truly walking among us: Lionel Messi and Diego Godin synchro-glitching during last night's Copa America game between Argentina and Uruguay..

That's some freaky ass doohickey right there though we shouldn't be surprised.

Petr Cech Edges Ever Closer Arsenal-Wards As Bookies Suspend Betting On Transfer

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By Chris Wright

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Petr Cech is now very nearly an Arsenal player, or at least so it would appear

Not that it's the most accurate barometer of things, but for what it's worth bookmakers are now starting to suspend betting on Petr Cech moving to Arsenal.

Aaron Ramsey Tweets In Welsh, Immediately Gets Accused Of Being Drunk And Leaning On His Keyboard

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By Chris Wright

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A year on from marryinghis wife Colleen, Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey emitted a lovely-dovey anniversary Tweet this afternoon which included a photo of the pair on their honeymoon and the caption "One year today".

Alas, the Welshman chose to write his message to his Welsh wife in Welsh, which caused a fair amount of consternation among his followers, who immediately feared the worst.

Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere Fined £40,000 For Calling Tottenham ‘Shit’

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By Chris Wright

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Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere has been stung for a princely £40,000 after admitting a misconduct charge over his conductduring the Gunners' FA Cup victory parade.

Already a couple of Smirnoff Ices in by that point, Wilshere was charged after being filmed leading anti-Tottenham chants from atop the bus as it wound through Islington the day afterArsenal's cup win.

United Passions: FIFA Wanted To Call Their Dreadful Movie Either ‘Men Of Legend’ Or ‘The Dreammakers’

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By Chris Wright

It's already smashed records all around the world for it's pitifully low opening-weekend box office takings,and currently holds a cumulative review score of 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, but it seems the bad news just won't stop coming for the people responsible for foisting FIFA's abysmal 'United Passions' movie on the world.

Women’s World Cup – The Best Bits: England 2-1 Colombia (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

England secured their place in the last 16 of the World Cup after a deserved 2-0 win against Colombia.

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Colombia, fresh from their shock 2-0 win against France, started brightly.

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However. the Lionesses soon found their feet and went close whenCasey Stoney, in her first appearance of the competition, heading over the bar after a corner.

Women’s World Cup Vine: Amadine Henry Nets Long-Range Cracker In French Rout Of Mexico

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By Alan Duffy

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France bounced back from their shock Women's World Cup defeat by Colombia to batter Mexico 5-0 in Ottawa, in a win sees Les Bleues top Group F ahead of England.

France impressed throughout by Amadine Henry's long-range strike was the pick of the goals.

EA Sports Allow Fans To Vote For FIFA 16 Cover Star, Jordan Henderson Currently Leading The Way

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By Chris Wright

For the first time ever, EA Sports are letting we,the great unwashed,decide who will be plastered on the cover of the UK version of FIFA 16.

We're not overly sure on the algorithms they've used to deignthe short-listed candidates, but the public can now vote as to whether they'd prefer to see Thibaut Courtois, Harry Kane, Sergio Aguero and.

AC Milan Appoint Sinisa Mihajlovic As New Manager One Hour After Sacking Pippo Inzaghi

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By Chris Wright

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Just a quickie to keep you abreast of the latest to-doings in Milan.

Less than an hour after givingPippo Inzaghithe elbow earlier this morning, the Rossoneri have appointedSinisa Mihajlovic as their new manager.

Former Inter defender Mihajlovic has signed a two-year deal to take over at Milan after suddenly upping and leaving Sampdoria it was all a bit emotional a couple of weeks ago.

On This Day in 1950: First Match Played At The Maracana As Crowd Of 200,000 Gather To Watch

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Brazil's Maracanãstadium is one of the great cathedrals of modern football and, 65 years ago today (June 16th, 1950), the first match was played there. Rio De Janeiro All-Stars beat São Paulo All Stars 3-1 in an exhibition match, with the great midfielder Didi the first player to score a goal at the stadium.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Announces New Perfume, Scented With Fish And Feathers By The Looks Of Things

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By Chris Wright

So...

A sneak preview of something I've been working on for the past 2 years. Something I'm very proud of. So stay tuned.. pic.twitter.com/IM2LI2LUng

- Zlatan Ibrahimović (@Ibra_official) June 16, 2015

Fish and feathers seems an odd choice for a perfume, but we're prepared to reserve judgement until we give it a snuffle.

New Balance Unleash Long-Awaited First Football Boot Designs: The Visaro And The Furon (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Having absorbed Warrior into their fold, New Balance are currently in the midst of gearing up for their first ever assault on the football boot market.

As such, the brand beloved of hipster sneaker buffs the world over have produced their maiden boot lines: the new Furon and Visaro.

Nobel Peace Prize Board Officially Sever Links With FIFA In Wake Of Corruption Scandal

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By Chris Wright

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FIFA have taken another blow to the beanbag this week with the news that the Nobel Peace Centre, i.e, the board responsible for handing out the Nobel Peace Prize, have severed their links for football's governing body in the wake of the corruption scandal currently engulfing the organisation.

Arsenal Launch New 2015/16 Home Kit At Glitzy Live Bash Outside The Emirates (Photos & Video)

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By Chris Wright

Arsenal unveiled their new 2015/16 home kit witha glitzy, slightly OTT live bash outside the Emirates Stadium, which involved a lot of red bulbs, a DJ, a countdown and Thierry Henry, Santi Cazorla, Hector Bellerin, Tomas Rosicky, Nacho Monreal and Danny Welbeck fulfilling their PRcommitments by showcasing the new Puma strip up of the stage.

EA Sports Release FIFA 16 Gameplay Trailer Featuring Messi, Ronaldo, Kane And Pele (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Coming hot on the heels of the maiden PES 16 trailer, EA Sports have pulled their collective finger out and shared the first glimpse of FIFA 16 with the world at the E3 video gaming exposition in Los Angeles.

As revealed a week or two back, FIFA 16 features the great and good of the game: Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Sergio Aguero, Harry Kane with Pele providing the narration.

Football Fixture Lists – How The Hell They Did Come Up With This Lot?

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Next season's football fixture lists are released tomorrow, and eager scanning of what is in store for our teams will almost inevitably be followed by the air turning blue when we discover some of the ridiculous trips we've had served up. So how do they come up with the list?

Transfer Balls: Liverpool Back In For Clyne, Arsenal Revive £30million Draxler Bid, Tottenham Keen On Casillas

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Reds Reel In Clyne

According to the Liverpool Echo, Liverpool are preparing an improved bid for Southampton's Nathaniel Clyne.

Mario Gotze And Rafael Van Der Vaart Voted Biggest Bundesliga Flops By Jury Of Fellow Players

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By Chris Wright

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"Come on buddy, we're obviously not wanted here"

Last Julyhe was busy winning World Cups with his outstretched little leggy-poos, but skip forward 12months and Mario Gotze has been voted as one of the Bundesliga's biggest flops of the season by a jury of his peers.

Classic Moments: 19 Years Ago Today, Paul Gascoigne Scores ‘That Goal’ Against Scotland At Euro 96 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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19 years ago to this very day, Paul Gascoigne scored *that*goal against Scotland in the group stages at Euro 96, all while managing to avoid being blinding by Colin Hendry's shimmering mullet of pure light.

Hang on...19 years ago?

Real Madrid Mark Year Of Runner-Uppery With New So-So Silver Home Kit (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

It's that time of year folks. The kit reveals are coming thick and fast. Next up: Real Madrid, who have gone for silver stripes this year, perhaps as a nod to the fact that they finished runners-up in almost every capacity last season...

El único límite es la perfección.

New Chelsea 2015/16 Home, Away & Third Kits Leaked All Over The Place (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

When it comes to your club's new togs for the new season, there really aren't any surprises any more thanks to the pre-launch leakage*.

It truly is a joyous time to be alive and we have the internet to thank for that. Thanks internet. Thinternet.

Anyway, compliments of social media, here's the entire bundleof new Chelsea outfield kits for 2015/16; home, away and third complete with new sponsor, Yokohama tyres.

Transfer Balls: Chelsea Fixed On Falcao, Man Utd Splurge £30million On Felipe Anderson, Everton Pick Up Podolski

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Chelsea Fix On Falcao

A rumour which has been rumbling on for a quite a while, Falcao's move to Chelsea looks to be actually happening.

Real Madrid Legend Roberto Carlos Delivers Cross-Field Pass For The Ages During Charity Match (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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'Twas the annual Corazon Classic exhibitionmatch at the Bernabeu yesterday afternoon, with a team of Real Madrid legends taking on a team of their Liverpool counterparts all in the name of charidee.

Despite going 2-0 down early on, Real Madrid roared back to win 4-2 thanks in part to a couple of scorching penalties from Roberto Carlos though it was the Brazilian left-back's range of passing that stole the show in the end.

‘Paralytic’ Jack Grealish Pictured Sleeping A Heavy One Off In The Middle Of The Road In Tenerife (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Once again, the tabloids are ablaze this morning after Aston Villa youngling Jack Grealish was pictured lying prostrate and paralytic in the roadwhile on holiday in Tenerife.

Grealish's drunken husk was discovered by local resident Briony King, who found him passed out in the street outside her apartment.

Brazilian Winger Fires Pinpoint Cross Directly Through An Ambulance’s Window (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Seeing as though the matchitself ended goalless, we're going to go ahead and pronounce Ponte Preta winger Roni's outrageouspinpoint cross as being the undisputed out-and-out highlight of his side's recent game against Goias.

After coming on in the latter stages, Roni barrelled his way down the right wing, made it to the by-line and then, with consummate aplomb, proceeded to expertly pick out the open ambulance window on the other side of the goal.

Euro 2016 – The Best Bits: Slovenia 2-3 England (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

A couple of crackers from Jack Wilshere, along with Wayne Rooney's 48 senior international goal, secured a hard-fought but deserved win for England away to Slovenia.

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Roy Hodgson's men almost took an early lead when Raheem Sterling fired over with only Samir Handanovic to beat.

Euro 2016: Jack Wilshere Scores Couple Of Stone Cold Stonkers As England See Off Slovenia (Videos)

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By Chris Wright

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It came as a slight shock to hear that they were his first two goals at international level, but Jack Wilshere came up with a couple of stupendous first-time stonkersas England just about saw off Slovenia with a 3-2 victory in Ljubljana this afternoon.

Transfer Balls: Radamel Falcao Agrees Personal Terms With Chelsea, Deal Now ‘90% Done’

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The Sunday Timesare reporting this morning that Radamel Falcaohasagreed personal terms on a one-year loan transfer to Chelsea.

José Mourinho is ready to help the Colombian"reach his level again". As Jose said in a typically loaded comment:"It hurts me that people in England think that the real Falcao is the one we saw at Manchester United".

Transfer Balls: Radamel Falcao agrees personal terms with Chelsea

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The Sunday Times reportsthat Radamel Falcaohasagreed personal terms on a transfer to Chelsea.José Mourinho is ready to help the Colombian"reach his level again".

Falcao has chosen Chelsea after Mourinho promised to handle the striker in a manner which proved beyond Louis Van Gaal during the Colombian's loan season at Manchester United.

Women’s World Cup – The Best Bits: England 2-1 Mexico (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

After seeing France downed by Colombia in a shock defeat in Moncton, England produced a fine display to see off Mexico in a 2-1 victory.

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England boss Mark Sampson brought in Reading's WSL 2 striker Fran Kirby and Manchester City's Toni Duggan to spearhead a far more attack-minded side than the team who lost to France.

Euro 2016 – The Best Bits: Rep Of Ireland 1-1 Scotland (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Scotland came from a goal down to secure a precious point against the Republic of Ireland at the Aviva Stadium on Saturday.

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Martin O'Neill's men started brightly, with Seamus Coleman a constant threat down the Irish right flank.

Seattle Sounders’ Sergio Mota Shown Red Card For Double-Footing Opponent In The Gentleman Vegetables (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In which Seattle Sounders second-stringer Sergio Mota earns himself a straight red card for delivering a double-footed hammer blow to the man baubles of LA Galaxy II's Adrian Vera...

In fairness, Mota did get the ball both of them, in fact.

5 Things You Need To Know About New Tottenham Signing Kevin Wimmer

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Tottenham Hotspur have started their transfer business early this summer, with 22-year-old Austrian defender Kevin Wimmer the first new signing to be confirmed.

So what should Spurs fans make of the deal? Here's five things you need to know about the man...

1.

Why Keeping Hold Of Hugo Lloris And Harry Kane Is Symbolic Of Where Tottenham Want To Be

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Can Spurs hold on to Hugo Lloris and Harry Kane? It's becoming pretty clear that question will be one of this summer's Big Transfer Sagas™.

Manchester United are said to be sniffing around, with David de Gea's mooted move to Real Madrid reported to have turned attention at Old Trafford to Tottenham's French goalkeeper in particular.

Women’s World Cup: Another 10-Goal Drubbing Sees Switzerland Annihiltate Ecuador (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

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Coming hot on the heels of Germany's 10-0 opening game win against Cote d'Ivoire, Switzerland batted minnows Ecuador on Friday night.

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Pool old Angie Ponce netted two own-goals although the youngster did get a hat-trick of sorts when she scored a penalty on 64 minutes, which was her country's first-ever goal a World Cup finals tournament.

Croatian FA Apologise After Swastika Spotted On Pitch During Euro 2016 Qualifier Against Italy (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

The Croatian Football Federation (HNS) have apologised this morning after a swastika was marked on their pitch ahead of last night's Euro 2016 qualifier against Italy at theStadion Poljud inSplit.

The Italian Football Federation lodged an official complaint with UEFA during the game, with groundsmen tending to the playing surface at half-time.

Euro 2016 – The Best Bits: Wales 1-0 Belgium (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Wales jumped to the top of Group B after securing a fantastic victory against Belgium in Cardiff.

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The visitors started brightly, with Roma midfielder RadjaNainggolanfiring at Wayne Hennessey in the Welsh goal, before Chelsea'sEden Hazardthen went close with a volley.

Snapshot: Non-League Side Gainsborough Trinity Make Small But Crucial Error While Unveiling New Signing…

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By Chris Wright

In which, while proudly unveiling new signingMarc Newsham at their stadium, Conference North side Gainsborough Trinity accidentally included a small yet fairlycrucial error in their introductory photo.

See if you can spot it...

No, it's nothing to do with the 50/50 Cash Draw.

Manchester United: Memphis Depay Completes Move From PSV, Dons New Shirt For First Time (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

The deal has been struck for what seems like an age now, but this afternoon Memphis Depay officially completed his £22/25/27million move from PSV to Manchester United.

The 21-year-old Dutch winger sings on a four-year contract with the option to extend it by a year if he pulls up sufficient turnips at Old Trafford in that time.

Belgium Fans Take 400-Mile Detour After Sat Nav Blunder Sees Them Drive To Wrong ‘Wales’

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By Chris Wright

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With a Euro 2016qualifier against Wales in the offing this weekend, a group of hardy Belgium fans set out driving across the mainland continentearlier in the week in order to watch their side live in action at the Cardiff City Stadium tonight.

Umbro’s New 2015/16 Derby County Home Kit Is Okay, We Guess… (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Nice of Derby to let alittle albino orphan boy model their new strips

Praise be, the new Derby County home strips are upon us.

As we're duty bound to not discriminate (even against teams from the wrong end of the A52) here on Pies, here are the photos.

Southampton Reveal New Radioactive ‘Slime Green’ 2015/16 Away Kit (Photo & Video)

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By Chris Wright

With the new home kit unveiled several weeks ago (spoiler alert: it's red-and-white stripes), Southampton have today rolled out the accompanying away strip for 2015/16 and it's certainly...well, it's certainly very green.

Produced by Adidas, the kit features a navy sash and navy detailing on a slime green base that looks like it comes with a half-life equivalent to yellow cake uranium.

Three Cheers For His Agent! QPR Wastrel Adel Taarabt Completes Benfica Move (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

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After sixyears six bloody years! on the booksat QPR, Adel Taarabt has today sealed a move to Portuguese champions Benfica.

Indeed, Taarabt's five-year QPR contract expired today and as such, Benfica were able to formally announce the Moroccan's arrival inside what appears to be a blanket fort.

Women’s World Cup: Norway’s Maren Mjelde Scores Beautiful Dinked Free-Kick To Deny Germany (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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Having well and truly obliterated Ivory Coastwith a 10-goal rollicking in their opening group match, two-time women's worldchampions Germany were frustrated by dark horses Norway in their second outing of the 2015 tournament as the two sides playedout a cagey 1-1 draw on Thursday evening.

Transfer Balls: Liverpool Fall For Falcao, Man Utd Keen On Kane, Arsenal Monitor Martinez

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Reds Fall For Falcao

We've already heard how Chelsea are interested in signing Radamel Falcao, but now the Star tells us that Liverpool are planning a swoop for the Colombian, who flopped badly in his loan spell at Manchester United.

FIFA Sack Director Of Communications Walter De Gregorio For Making (Rather Good) FIFA Joke On Swiss Television

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By Chris Wright

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One of Sepp Blatter's former senior aides, Walter de Gregorio, has been sacked or rather "forced to quit" by FIFA after making a really rather good joke about the organisation during a television interview.

De Gregorio, who had been working as FIFA's director of communications and public affairs (tough gig), appeared on theRoger Schawinksi show on Swiss television where he was asked by the host to tell his favourite joke.

Knocked Back: Liverpool Reject Man City’s £30m Opening Bid For Raheem Sterling

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Raheem Sterling will not be leaving Liverpool to joinManchester City.Well, not yet.

As confirmed by the BBC, shortly before the close of play last night, Liverpool have rejected a£30million offer from City for the 20-year-old England winger.

The bid £25million, plus a further £5 million in potential future payments falls well short of the£50million valuation Liverpool have slapped on Sterling, whose contract ends inJune 2017.

Official: Liverpool Make Bolton ‘Keeper Adam Bogdan Their Third Cheapo Signing Of The Summer

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By Chris Wright

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Theclubmay be fighting tooth and nail to keep Raheem Sterlingout of Man City's clutches at the moment, but there's more good news on the incoming front for Liverpool fans this morning.

Indeed, the Reds have successfully brokered a deal to make Bolton goalkeeper Adam Bogdan their third cheapo signing of the summer.

Copa D’ohmerica: Edinson Cavani Apologises For Thinking Jamaica Was In Africa

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By Chris Wright

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Edinson Cavani has burped out an apology after mistakenly identifying Uruguay's maiden Copa America opposition Jamaica as an African side that play a typically African style of football.

Jamaica, as it happens, are members of CONCACAF and have been invited along tothe South American tournament by virtue of winning last year's Caribbean Cup with Mexico being the other non-CONMEBOL guest team participating at the 2015 Copa America.

Football Art: Case Jernigan Gives Zidane’s Sublime Volley Against Leverkusen The Flip-Book Animation Treatment (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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As you may recall, Piesfirst featured the handiwork of New York-based artist Case Jernigan (@off_foot) a week or so ago when we showed you his beautiful and painstaking recreation of Lionel Messi's Copa del Rey solo special using nothing but a pad of paper and a black marker pen.

South Korea Striker Kang Soo-Il Blames Failed Dope Test On Use Of Moustache-Growing Cream

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By Chris Wright

South Korean striker Kang Soo-Il was supposed to be making his international debut for his country tonight but instead found himself dropped from the squad entirely after failing a pre-match doping test.

Soo-Il, who plays for K-League side Jeju United at club level, tested positive before South Korea's friendly against the UAE on Thursday evening and was subsequently stood downby coach Uli Stielike.

PES 2016 To Include Francesco Totti ‘Selfie’ Goal Celebration (Trailer Video)

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By Chris Wright

As thefranchise celebrates its 20th anniversary, the first trailer for PES 2016 is upon us.

As well as confirming Neymar as the cover star, Konami have let it slip that Francesco Totti's now-signature Rome derby selfiegoal celebration has been included in PES 2016 complete with iPhone.

Helsingborgs Coach Henrik Larsson, 43, Subs Himself On And Scores In 7-1 Malmo Rout (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Henrik Larsson poses for a photo with Malmo's goal-scorer Alan Asaad, some 27 years his junior

Proving that great strikers never really losethe scoring touch, Helsingborgs manager Henrik Larsson subbed himself on and helped himself to a goal in his side's 7-1 friendly thrashing of Malmo on Wednesday evening.

‘If I Can Help Him, I Will Do It’ – Jose Mourinho Hints Chelsea Want A Go At Fixing Radamel Falcao On Latin American TV

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By Chris Wright

It seems that there might be a little more meat on the bones of the 'Radamel Falcao to Chelsea' tittle-tattle than we first thought, with Jose Mourinho hinting that a deal for the Colombian striker may actually be in the works after all.

While chatting away on Latin American televisionchannelDirecTV Sports, Mourinho in a very roundabout way gave credence to the rumours that Falcao will be remaining in the Premier League with Chelsea next season despite failing to launch properly during his expensive maiden voyage withManchester United.

Sunderland Roll Out Handsome New 2015/16 Home Kit With ‘Modern Twist’ (Photos)

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By Chris Wright


Granted, there's only so much you can do with red and white stripes, but we happen to think the 2015/16 edition of Sunderland's home shirt as unveiled this very morning is really rather smart...

According to the Adidas blurb, the new Sun'lan strip has been given a "modern twist" by using white rather than red as the base colour.

Helsingborgs Coach Henrik Larsson, 43, Subs Himself On And Scores In 7-1 Malmo Rout

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By Chris Wright

Henrik Larsson poses for a photo with Malmo's goal-scorer Alan Asaad, some 27 years his junior

Proving that great strikers never really losethe scoring touch, Helsingborgs manager Henrik Larsson subbed himself on and helped himself to a goal in his side's 7-1 friendly thrashing of Malmo on Wednesday evening.

Transfer Balls: Man City Set For Pogba/Sterling/De Bruyne Triple Splurge, Casillas Heading To Arsenal, Sadio The Main Mané For Bayern Munich

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Citizens Set For Triple Splurge On Sterling/Pogba/De Bruyne

Manchester City are set for a massive spending spree, according to the Mail.

West Ham Chairman David Gold Welcomes New-Signing Pedro Obiang By Tweeting Photo Of Angelo Ogbonna

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By Alan Duffy

Poor old David Gold is no stranger to the footballing faux-pas, and on Wednesday, the West Ham chairman committed a right old blunder on Twitter. In welcoming new-signing Pedro Obiang from Sampdoria, Gold Tweeted a photo of Juventus defenderAngelo Ogbonna, resplendent in his Italian national team jersey.

Newcastle Appoint Steve McClaren As Both Manager And Board Member As Mike Ashley Steps Down

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By Chris Wright

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There have been seismic changes in the Newcastle United top brassthis afternoon, with the club appointing Steve McClaren as their new manager while also furnishing him with a place on their board of directors for good measure.

Couple with McClaren's induction is the news that boogeyman Mike Ashley has relinquished his position on the Toon board along with finance director John Irving, who has left the club altogether.

Official: Swansea Sign Andre Ayew From Marseille On Absolute Bargain Freebie Deal

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By Chris Wright

Rumours were flying this morning that he was undergoing a medical at the club but it's now been made official: Swansea have completed the signing of Andre Ayew from Marseille on a free transfer.

The Swans have agreed afour-year contract with Ayew, 25, who already has 65 caps for Ghana to his name as well as havingBBC African Footballer of the Year and Ghanaian Player of the Year titles on his CV.

Doncaster Rovers Fan Pesters Club About New Signings For Weeks Until They Cave In And Respond In Cracking Fashion

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By Chris Wright

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After being pestered week in, week out on Twitter by a fan demanding to see some action on the transfer front, Doncaster Rovers finally caved today and gave in to his wont.

The Donny fan in question, Lee Miller, spent the last three weeks repeatedly barrackingthe club's official Twitter account with hisgripes about what he deemed to bea lack of ambition being shown in the transfer market.

The Day Has Finally Come: Arsenal Release Abou Diaby After Nine Years Of Injury-Plagued Misery

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By Chris Wright

And lo, the day we thought we wouldn't live to see is upon us.

According to the Premier League's official 'retained players' list released this afternoon, Arsenal have finally released Abou Diaby back into the wild.

Please feel free to take a moment to compose yourselves before we press on.

Barcelona’s Lionel Messi To Stand Trial For Tax Fraud

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Lionel Messihas lost his appeal against allegations that hecheatedthe Spanish authorities out of€4.1m in tax. The Barcelona star andhis father Jorge Horacio Messi will stand trial for allegedly selling image rights via foreign-based companies to avoid Spanish tax obligations.

Poignant Stuff: Palestinian Club Itihad Shujayya Celebrate Winning Double Amid Rubble Of War-Torn Gaza City (Video)

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By Chris Wright

As far as football is concerned, 2014/15 proved to be an outstanding season for Palestinian sideItihad Shujayya, who wrapped up an imperious domestic double by winning both the Gaza Strip League and the Gaza Cup.

However, they had to do it against a war-torn backdrop, with sustained shelling and intense fighting reducing vast swathes of Gaza to rubble in the past year or so.

Xavi’s Qatar Airport Welcome Was Entirely Less Spectacular Than Darius Vassell’s Arrival In Turkey (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Having agreed to see out his footballing days at Qatari side Al Sadd in return for megabucks, Xavi touched down in the Gulf yesterday after signing off with the Champions League and saying his teary-eyed goodbyes to all his Barcelona buddies.

His arrival was.

Manchester United To Offer XXXXL Versions Of New Kit After Fans Complain Current Sizes Aren’t Big Enough

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By Chris Wright

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As of next season, Manchester United are to sell their new shirts in an XXXXL (that's four X's, homies) after receiving complaints from fans that the current strips just aren't roomy enough.

The complaints were first made about United's less-than-generousshirts while Nike were in power in Old Trafford, but the company believed there wouldn't be enough demand for super-sizedshirts and therefore refused to put them into production.

Transfer Balls: Man Utd Eye Van Der Wiel & Mandzukic, Arsenal After Brahimi, West Ham Ogle Obiang

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Van Gaal Wants Van Der Wiel

The MASSIVE SHOCK rumour factory that is the Metro reports that Manchester United are on the verge of signing PSG right-back Gregory van der Wiel.

Women’s World Cup – The Best Bits: France 1-0 England (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

England produced a hard-working, defensive display against France on Tuesday evening, but the Lionesses still came away with nothingafter losing 1-0, courtesy of a fine strike fromEugenie Le Sommer.

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England boss Mark Sampson started with five in midfield, including defender Lucy Bronze in a wide midfield role, leaving Chelsea's Eni Aluko up front on her own.

Norwegian Second Division Player Shown Straight Red Card For Calling Opponent ‘Gay’

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By Chris Wright

As of this season, the Norwegian league have taken bold steps toward toughening their stance onhomophobia by making the use of offensive slurs during matches a red card offence.

The new protocolwas put into action during Sunday's second division game between Baerum SK and Sandnes Ulf, wherein Baerum midfielder Simen Juklerod was sent off for calling one of his opponents 'gay'.

Nutter: Freeclimber James Kingston Scales 425 Ft Wembley Arch Using Nothing But His Bare Hands (Video)

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By Chris Wright

While England were out of townboring the living daylights out of everyone in Dublin on Sunday, freeclimberJamesKingstondecided it was time to embark on a climb he'd had his eyes on for a while.

Employed by EE to help plug the launch of their new4GEE Action Camera, Kingston scampered right to the top of the Wembley arch without a single safety cable or carabiner to his name.

Harry Redknapp (Finally) Comes To Twitter And Immediately Backs Himself For Director Of Football Role

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"Oi oi you bunch of face-aches, I've only gone and joined the Twittah 'aven't I?"

Even for experienced Harry Redknapp watchers, 8th June 2015 was a vintage day.

First, yer actual Redknapp –for it was he as it was written in the prophecy– went and opened a Twitter account.

Official: West Ham Appoint Slaven Bilic As New Manager

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By Chris Wright

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The breaking news this afternoon is that West Ham have welcomedSlaven Bilic back to Upton Park having appointed himtheir new manager.

Bilic, who made 54 appearances for the Hammers (and was actually their record signing for a time) in the 1996/97 season, has signed a three-year deal to replace Corpulent Samuel at the helm, who skulked away at the end of the season after his contract dwindled away to nowt.

BT Sport Announce New Era Punditry Team, Steven Gerrard And Rio Ferdinand On Board For Champions League Nights

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By Chris Wright

Poor old non-descript Jake is being ousted already

BT Sport have unveiled their new presenting and punditry stable as they move into their brave new Champions League era and bloody hell it looks like they're chucking some money at it!

As you've likely heard, Gary Lineker has taken a pay-cut with the BBC to take the gig fronting BT's Champions League coverage next season, leaving Jake Humphrey to carry on with the Premier League stuff.

Filth! Diego Maradona Scythes Down Six-Year-Old Grandson During Back Garden Kick-About (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Having just watched his dad score his first international hat-trick in Argentina's pre-Copa America warm-up panning of Bolivia, six-year-old Benjamin Aguero invited his grandad who, it should be noted, just so happens to be Diego Maradona out into the back garden for a spot of one-on-one.

Transfer Balls: Juventus Keen On Van Persie, Cech Hints At Arsenal Move, Chelsea Chase Higuain

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Old LadyKeen On RVP

Robin Van Persie could be on his way to Serie A for £10million, according to the Star, with Champions League runners-up Juventus eyeing the Dutch attacker.

Painfully Goal-Shy Irish First Division Club Cabinteely FC Take Opportunity To Troll Mario Balotelli

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By Chris Wright

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It never rains...

They may be struggling at the moment, butIrish League side Cabinteely FC have gone on record as stating they're still not interested in acquiring the services of a certain goal-shy Liverpool striker quite yet.

Liverpool Face £5m Danny Ings Price Hike After Tottenham Have Sneaky £12m Bid Accepted

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By Chris Wright

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Turns out Danny Ings' big move to Liverpool isn't quite as complete as we first thought, with news today that the Burnley striker's transfer has hit the buffers as the two clubs continue to quibble about his fee.

Even though Ings' contract is now as good as expiredat Burnley, the club are still entitled to compensation from Liverpool due to his age.

Women’s World Cup: Nigeria Draw 3-3 With Sweden In First Cracker Of Competition (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

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Group D, the 'group of death' in the 2015 Women's World Cup produced a six-goal thriller on Monday night, with a vibrant Nigeria side twice coming from behind to earn a draw against European heavyweightsSweden.

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Daily Mail Says Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere Plays Like Paul Gascoigne But John O’Shea Is Better

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How football reporting works, with Arsenal's Jack Wilshere and the Daily Mail team. Following a dire0-0 friendly draw with Republic of Ireland, the writers got to work.

Neil Ashton:"Thank the lord for small mercies because at times Jack Wilshere shimmered on the ball, making the type of purposeful, driving runs that brought back memories of Paul Gascoigne striding through England's midfield.

Classic Moments: Benjamin Massing Well And Truly Nobbles Claudio Caniggia At 1990 World Cup (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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They used to call Claudio Caniggia 'El Hijo del Viento' (The Son of the Wind) during his pomp because ofhis uncanny ability to swirl and breeze past defenders while running flat out.

Faced with the prospect of having to stop the wind at Italia '90 during an 89th-minute Argentina counter-attack,Cameroon defender Benjamin Massing came up with an ingenious solution hitting Caniggia with the hardest thigh-high battering ram tackle he possibly could.

Random Great Goals: Dimitar Berbatov Flicks, Strides And Glides One In Against Charlton, 2007 (Video)

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By Martin Cloake

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With the very real possibility that he may be returning to the Premier League next season (seriously, nothing would make us happier than seeing Berba joinBournemouth!) after being released byMonaco last week, we thought we'd revisit one of the silkiestgoals Dimitar Berbatov scored during his two flawless years at Tottenham Hotspur.

FIFA Movie ‘United Passions’ Makes Just $600 (£394) On US Opening Weekend

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By Chris Wright

Last time we checked in, FIFA's horrendous 'United Passions' movie was running at a reported loss of$26.8million after taking just $200,000 at the European box office over the course of its openingweekend after being shown at the Zurich Film Festival last October.

Competition: WIN! An Exquisite ‘Art Of Football’ T-Shirt Of Your Choice

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By Chris Wright

No Pirlo t-shirt, no party

Once again, Pies have buddied up with our muckers over at Art of Football to offer one lucky winnerthe chance to get their hands on one of their cracking printed football t-shirts.

As far as Art of Football are concerned, the clue is in the name.

Craptastic Football Mascot Of The Day: Chaddy The Owl (Oldham Athletic)

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By Chris Wright

Looking like something crawling around in the background of aHieronymus Bosch painting, this is the thing that Oldham Athletic used to try to gee up the crowds at Boundary Park with once upon a time.

His name is Chaddy the Owl, though 'Chaddy the Hideously Deformed Swivel-Eyed Mutant Bat Creature From Your Deepest, Darkest Nightmares' might have been a more fitting moniker all things considered.

Raheem Sterling Criticism Has To End: Why Shouldn’t He Want To Leave Liverpool?

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By Sam Diss

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It's one fit for a sunset pic and some cursive text overlay, but the point remains: If you love someone, set them free.

Don't Liverpool fans realise that Steven Gerrard's greatest failing in his career was his inability to let go of Liverpool?

Done Deal: Danny Ings Signs For Liverpool On Free Transfer

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Liverpool have signed busy Danny Ings from Burnley. Subject to passing a medical, Ings will be Liverpool's second signing in a matter of days, joining James Milner in a revitalised squad.

#LFC are delighted to announce that a deal has been agreed to sign striker Danny Ings, subject to a medical.

Barcelona: Birthplaces Of Messi, Suarez And Neymar Revealed To Form Some Kind Of Weird Football Ley Line (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

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No wonder Barcelona's 'MSN' front three has proven to be all-conquering; it was written in the stars Google Maps.

We can't believe nobody had thought to check before now, but the birth places of all three stars: Rosario in Argentina (Messi), Salto in Uruguay (Suarez) and the Sao Paulo district of Mogi das Cruzes in Brazil (Neymar), all form a dead-straight line on the world map.

Women’s World Cup: Big Guns Germany Stick 10 Past Newbies Ivory Coast (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

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This Group B Women's World Cup meeting between one of the favourites for the competition and the lowest ranked side was always going to be a one-sided affair. And that it was, to the tune of 10 goals to nil.

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Transfer Balls: Man City Desire De Bruyne, Man Utd Fancy Felipe Anderson, Tottenham Ready For Martial Law

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Citizens Want To Talk About Kevin

The Mirror links former Chelsea schemer Kevin De Bruyne with a move back to the Premier League this summer.

Liverpool Target Mateo Kovacic Nets Cheeky Back-Heeled Lob For Croatia vs Gibralatar (Video & Vine)

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By Alan Duffy

Apparently wanted by Liverpool, Inter Milan playmaker Mateo Kovacic gave a taster of his talent during Croatia's 2-1 friendly win against Gibraltar. Through on the goal,but with the ball bouncing behind him, the 21-year-old produced a superb back-heeled flick which lobbed the goalkeeper and ended up in the back of the Gibraltar net.

Watch A Leading FIFA Member Claim Morocco Not South Africa Won The Right To Host World Cup 2010

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The Sunday Times has a cracking story on FIFA troughing. The paper says back in October 2010 it showed FIFA a video ofleading FIFAofficials talking about bribery. Reporters gained access by posing as lobbyists.

The allegations are that the vote to host the 2010 World Cup was rigged in South Africa's favour and thatMorocco was the actual winner.

Watch A Leading FIFA Member Claim Morocco Not South Africa Won The Right To Host World Cup 2010

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The Sunday Times has a cracking story on FIFA troughing. The paper says back in October 2010 it showed FIFA a video of twoleading FIFAofficials talking about bribery. Reporters gained access by posing as lobbyists.

The allegations are that the vote to host the 2010 World Cup was rigged in South Africa's favour and thatMorocco was the actual winner.

Women’s World Cup: Dodgy Pen Gives Canada Victory Over China In Front Of Record-Breaking 53,000 Crowd (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

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The 2015 Women's World Cup got underway on Saturday night with hosts Canada meeting China in Edmonton. 53,000 watched the game at the Commonwealth Stadium, a record for either a women's or men's football game in Canada, but overall there was little in the way of real quality.

Champions League: Barcelona’s Post-Match Celebrations In All Their Headband-Wearing, Net-Cutting Glory (Photos)

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By Alan Duffy

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Despite being given a good game by Serie A champs Juventus, Barcelona secured their fifth European Cup/Champions League trophy courtesy of a 3-1 win in Berlin.

Here's a fine smorgasbord of the Catalans' post-match celebrations, including Gerard Pique cutting up one of the nets for a souvenir, the mad popstar-marrying loon.

Champions League Final: Juventus 1-3 Barcelona – The Best Bits (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Barcelona were crowned European Champions for the fifth time after beating Juventus 3-1 in an enthralling final in Berlin.

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The Catalans opened the scoring after just four minutes, courtesy of a trademark passing move, which saw Ivan Rakitic fire home from an Andres Iniesta pass.

Swansea City Blow Entire Season’s Marketing Budget On Blockbuster 2015/16 Home Kit Launch Video

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By Chris Wright

Swansea have gone big in rolling out their new home strip for next season and, in doing so, pretty much blown the entire marketingdepartment budget.

The kit launch promo features some impressively high production values we're talking sparks, miners, glowing things as it explains quite why the Swans have chosen to include copper-coloured stripes on their 2015/16.

Retro Football: Jose Mourinho Translates As Sir Bobby Robson Talks Three Different Languages At Once (Video)

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By Chris Wright

As cobbled together by Spanish TV show Fiebre Maldini earlier in the week, here's a few classic swatches of footage showing Jose Mourinho during his Barcelona days, doing his level best to translate for then-manager Sir Bobby Robson.

The pair manfully bat away questions at a succession of press conferences, withSir Bobby mulching his way through two or three different languages four if you count unintelligible gibberish in his own inimitable style.

Transfer Balls: Arsenal Tap Up Morgan Schneiderlin And Victor Wanyama On Twitter

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Transfer Balls brings you the gossip and nonsense presented as news by the dead tree Press.And now Arsenal are in on the act. On the Arsenal.com Media Watch page fans are given links to Arsenal players being name-checked in thenewspapers. You get reports of them being picked for their national sides, what they said in interviews and so on.

Double Denim: Barcelona Fly In For Champions League Final Looking Like Bon Jovi Tribute Band (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

For reasons we can barely bring ourselves to say out loud (the mes que un club have signed a sponsorship deal with Replay jeans), Barcelona have adopted a squad-wide policy of doing away with snazzy suits and travelling to all of their away games in 'double denim'.

Epic 102-Hour Charity Football Match At Southampton’s Stadium Sets New World Record

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By Chris Wright

It took them over four days to do it, but a group of 36 hardycharity employees have gone and set the new world record for the longest football match after staging a mammoth encounter at Southampton's St. Mary's stadium.

The two 18-mansquads, the Reds and the Whites, were comprised of people involved with the Testlands Support Project, a community organisation set up to provide sporting opportunitiesfor the children of Southampton.

Retro Football: The Fax Sent From AC Milan To Ajax After Losing The 1995 Champions League Final (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

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By 'eck, it was ridiculous how good that team was!

Shortly after Ajax's golden generation had sloggedtheir way to a 1-0 win over AC Milan in the 1995 Champions League Final, the latter sent the former a rather classy fax to congratulate them on their victory.

Juventus Fan Walks 690 Miles To Berlin To Claim His Free Champions League Final Ticket

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By Chris Wright

Our man @demarchi22 is in Germany and continues to make good progress! What motivational music do you think he's listening to? #RoadToBerlin #UCLfinal #FinoAllaFine #ForzaJuve #SeAndiamoInFinale

A photo posted by Juventus Football Club (@juventus) on Jun 2, 2015 at 10:43am PDT

The foolhardy chap you see above you is Juventus fanNicolo De Marchi and he is currently schlepping683 miles from Turin to Berlin on the promise of a free Champions League Final ticket.

Football Art: Case Jernigan Creates Beautiful Animation Of Lionel Messi’s Copa Del Rey Final Goal (Video)

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By Chris Wright

You'd be hard-pressed to improve on the real thing,but New York-based artist Case Jerniganhas had a go at recreating Lionel Messi's slaloming wonder goal against Athletic Bilbao in the Copa Del Rey Final last monthusing nothing but a pad of post-it notes and a black marker pen.

Sunderland Fans Raise £2,000 To Buy Flowers For Dick Advocaat’s Wife

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By Chris Wright

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With the news that Dick Advocaat has U-turned on his retirement plans and signed up for one more year on Wearside after being pestered into it, grateful Sunderland fans have decided to show their appreciationby clubbing together to buy his wife some flowers.

It’s (Sort Of) Official: Liverpool Are The Worst Team To Win The Champions League, Djimi Traore The Worst Player

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By Chris Wright

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It's sort of unofficially official, Liverpool's 2005 vintage we're talking Scott Carson, Milan Baros, Josemi, Antonio Nunez, Igor Biscan were the worst team to have ever won the Champions League.

Not our words, Carol,the words of Match Pint, who have spent the last few weeks conducting a survey into the history of the Champions League.

Transfer Balls: Kondogbia Coming To Arsenal, Falcao Chooses Chelsea, Zouma Says Bye-Bye To Blues

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Kondogbia Coming To Arsenal

With Morgan Schneiderlin apparently close to a move to Man Utd, Arsenal are looking at Geoffrey Kondogbia to sate sate their desire for a defensive midfielder.

Martin Skrtel Uses The Media To Remind Liverpool Of his Value

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Is every part of Liverpool summer to be played out in the media? Martin Skrtel, 30, has told everyone the contract Liverpool have offered him is"unacceptable".

As his currentdeal enters its finalyear, Skrtel toldSlovakia's Aktualne news:

"Sure. I think a contract like this is offered to players who are much older than me or to players who have had some health complications.

‘Endemically Corrupt FIFA Is Not Interested In Reform’ Is Damning Verdict Of Tax Justice Campaign Site

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It's safe to say the tax justice campaigners at website The Offshore Game are not convinced FIFA is on the road to reform.

In a hard-hitting blog published today, they say: "We know FIFA is not an organisation interested in reform" and ask "Could it be that corruption within FIFA is so endemic that Blatter knows there is no chance that the organisation will elect a reforming president?

Irish FA Accepted €5m In FIFA Hush Money To Keep Schtum About Thierry Henry’s Handball

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By Chris Wright

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It's being reported this evening that Irish FA (FAI) chief executive John Delaney has confirmed his organisation accepted a payment from FIFA widely being touted as€5 million in the wake of Thierry Henry's infamous handball during the closing moments of2009's World Cup play-off between France and the Republic of Ireland.

Transfer Balls: Manchester United To Lodge £25m Bid For Raheem Sterling Before Rafa Benitez Makes His Move

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Transfer Balls have been keeping tabs on the rumours that Raheem Sterling is leaving Liverpool for Manchester United.

The Daily Mirror reckon United will offer £25million for the England winger. How it knows this is left unsaidbut, of course, these important, well-placed sources need to be protected.

‘They Wouldn’t Stop Calling’ – Dick Advocaat Agrees To One More Year At Sunderland After Being Harassed Into It

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By Chris Wright

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After just about guiding the club to Premier League survival this season, Dick Advocaat has U-turned his retirement plans and signed up for one more year of fun and frolics at Sunderland.

With Sunderland entrenched in the relegation mire and the situation looking increasingly dire week by week, Gus Poyet was sacked and Advocaat was broughtin on an interim basis in March vowing that the gig would be his last in club football.

Legendary Sao Paulo Goalkeeper Rogerio Ceni Moves Into Top 10 On Club’s List Of Top Goalscorers

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By Chris Wright

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Courtesy of a penalty stuck away against Santos on Wednesday night, legendary Sao Paulo goalkeeper has managed the unprecedented feat of moving into the Top 10 of the Brazilian club's list of all-time top goalscorers.

Ceni already holds three different Guinness World Records for most goals scored by a goalkeeper, number of games played for the same club and for the amount of games played as captain.

Random Great Goals: Steven Reid Unleashes 98mph Missile Against Wigan, 2005 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

We originally earmarked this goal for inclusion in our 'When Crap Players Score Great Goals' feature yesterday, but we felt we were being a touch harsh on Steven Reid who wasn't really all that crap, just remorselessly hampered by injuries throughout the latter half of his career.

Cristiano Ronaldo Joins Forces With Skateboarding Troll To Launch First Ever Computer Game (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Keen to expand his business empire beyond ridiculously expensive underpants, Cristiano Ronaldo has lent his name and likeness to a new video game.

The mobile game sees Ronaldo team up with Hugo the Troll (who we vaguely seem to remember from early 1990'sSaturday morning kids' TV) for "Ronaldo & Hugo: Superstar Skaters".

Luis Figo Barred From Representing ‘Barcelona Legends’ All-Star Team At Request Of Barca Themselves

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By Chris Wright

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As an aperitif forthe Champions League Final on Saturday evening, UEFA are laying on a glitzy exhibition match in Berlin that will see a host of formerBarcelona and Juventus veteransunite against a Rest of the World XI in the name of charity.

Done Deal: Liverpool Sign James Milner From Manchester City On Day Gerrard Leaves For LA

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Subject to a medical, tireless James Milner will join Liverpool from Manchester City on July 1.

Milner collectedPremier League titles, an FA Cup and the League Cup during his five year spell at City. He joined from Aston Villa for a fee in the region of £27 million in August 2010

Milner will join Liverpool on the same day Gerrard leaves for LA Galaxy of Major League Soccer (MLS).

Transfer Balls: Arsenal ‘Gazump’ Chelsea In Annual Gonzalo Higuain Shark Hunt

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Transfer Balls spots the arrival of Gonzalo Higuain. Like sharks off the coast of Dorset, Cliff Richard rain dancing at Wimbledon and white dog poo, the British mediaheralds the return of another mainstay of the summer: Higuain.

The Guardian wonders if the Napoli and Argentina striker isheading to Chelsea for £30million.

Everton Agree Deal To Sign Manchester United’s Tom Cleverley From Under Aston Villa’s Noses

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According to several sources, most notably The Times, Tom Cleverley is set to leave Manchester United and join Evertonon a free transfer before the week is out.

Basingstoke-born Cleverley, who played 79 times for United, spent last season on loan at Aston Villa. He will reportedly earn £50,000 a week in a five-year deal.

Done Deal: Man City Midfielder James Milner Agrees To Join Liverpool On Free Transfer

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By Alan Duffy

After months of speculation, Manchester City midfielder has finally plumped for a move to Anfield, with the 29-year-old joining the Reds on free, pending a medical.

Previously linked with Arsenal, England man Milner will add some energy to a Liverpool midfield shorn of the MLS-bound Steven Gerrard.

Transfer Balls: Arsenal ‘Gazump’ Chelsea In Annual Higuain Shark Hunt

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Transfer Balls spots the arrival of Gonzalo Higuain. Like sharks off the coast of Dorset, Cliff Richard rain dancing at Wimbledon and white dog poo the British mediaheralds the return of another mainstay of the summer: Higuain.

The Guardian wonders if the Napoli and Argentina striker isheading to Chelsea for £30m.

Barcelona Produce Touching Video Tribute To Departing Legend Xavi (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

Ahead of Xavi'smove to Qatar this summer, Barcelona produced this rather lovely video for the legendary midfielder during a star-studdedlive TV tribute on Wednesday.

The Spanish Scott Parkerstill has this weekend's Champions League final to look forward, albeit courtesy of a place on the subs' bench.

Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere swears less then FA Chaiman Greg Dyke

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Jack Wilshere has been charged with misconduct by the FA for leading a sweary anti-Tottenham chant as Arsenal paraded the FA Cup. The FA stated:

"Jack Wilshere has been charged with misconduct in relation to Arsenal's FA Cup celebrations on Sunday 31 May 2015. It is alleged his conduct in making and/or inciting certain comments during the club's open bus trophy tour was improper and/or brought the game into disrepute.

Awkward Silence: England Under-20s Caught Out By Extra Verse On National Anthem (Video)

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By Chris Wright

"Something something God, something something Queen"

There were ever so slightly embarrassingscenes asthe England Under-20s lined up before theirgame againstMexico at the Toulon Tournament this afternoon.

Having rolled through the standard pre-match national anthem, the England boys were caught out when it quickly becameapparent the version being played had a second versetagged on the end y'know, the slightly contentious one about crushingrebellious Scotsmen and such.

Why Are Liverpool Fans Stuck With Witless Brendan Rodgers For One More Season?

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Liverpool fans will get at least one more season of Brendan Rodgers, a man whose ability to smug it out is unrivalled.

After a meeting with Liverpool chariman Tom Werner and owners' representative Fenway Sports Group (FSG) President Michael Gordon, Liverpool have agreed on a "comprehensive plan for improvement".

When Crap Players Score Great Goals: 12 Of The Finest Examples (Videos)

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By Chris Wright

Inspired by watching Ligue 1's answer to Tony Hibbert, ex-PSG right-back Francis Llacer, score his magnum opus earlier in the week, we thought we'd cobble together a little compendium of other great goals scored by otherwise decidedly average players.

We'll start with a man who almost defines the word 'hum drum' and his once-in-a-career display of amazing technique, flair and exuberance against Spurs some years ago.

Real Madrid: Rafa Benitez Gives Us An Exclusive VIP Guided Tour Of His New Office (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Having been officially sworn in as Real Madrid's latest head coach this morning, Rafa Benitez has been busy settling himself in at the club's Valdebebas training HQ.

In a Pies exclusive, we were invited to join him as he gave us the ol' VIP tour aroundhis new environs.

Manchester United 2015/16 Kits Leak, New Third Strip Is Slice Of Early 90’s Retro Goodness (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

As modelled by an incredibly serene Ashley Young (bird guanois obviously one helluva drug), this photo purporting to be Manchester United's brand new Adidas home shirt for 2015/16 has leaked out all over the internet in the past 24 hours...

Meh, we could take it or leave it.

Chelsea Earn £99m In TV Deal That Paid £65m To QPR And £10m To Blackburn Rovers

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They might be over £1billion in hock to Roman Abramovich, but Chelsea are raking in themoney. The Blues received£99 million from the central Premier League pot for the 2014-15season.

Bottom-of-the-tableQueens Park Rangersscooped just under£65 million.

But the biggest pay-per-points winners areNewcastle United, who finished 15th in the Premier League but 10th in the TV earnings table.

Macclesfield Town Bid To Host 2026 World Cup – Offer Beer, Meat Pies And Free WIFI At Local Library

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By Chris Wright

Conference side Macclesfield Town have launched their bid to host the 2026 World Cup on the basis that it'stime FIFA gave the duties to a "sensible bidder".

It's not just flim-flam either, as the club have put together an in-depth itinerary of the tournament schedule, includingstadia, training facilities, climate information, media facilities, accommodation, and transport details.

Romelu Lukaku Woos Old Flame Chelsea And Asks What Everton Can Do For Him

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Everton's Romelu Lukaku is the latest player to spit out the craven opinion that "I need to be winning trophies".

Everton's 22-year-old striker and top scorer added:

"I want to grab titles, not be watching them won from the shadows. I want to know what it's like to play in the big matches.

Official: Rafa Benitez Sworn In As New Real Madrid Manager (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

It's official. Rafa Benitez has been sworn in as Florentino Perez's latest future ex-Real Madrid manager...

Official announcement: Rafa Benítez. http://t.co/Yw59NHKXuH #WelcometoRealMadrid pic.

Transfer Balls: Man Utd Launch £110million Bid For Bale & Varane, Man City Get Isco Fever, Higuain Headed For Chelsea

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Red Devils Chase Bale And Varane

In quite of sizeable transfer tale here, the Express tells us that Manchester United have had a whopping £110million bid for Gareth Bale and Raphael Varane turned down by Real Madrid.

Ruben Loftus-Cheek Gets England Nod After Mourinho Slams Chelsea Showing

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Chelsea's Ruben Loftus-Cheekis the onlyuncapped player in England's squad for the European Under-21 Championship.

Loftus-Cheek's preparations for theCzech Republic-hosted tournament could havegone better. Chelseamanager Jose Mourinho was far less than impressed with the 19-year-old player'srole in theBlues'1-0 win over FC Sydney, keepinghim on the pitch for just 27 minutes againstthe A-League runners-up.

Nobody Likes A Quitter: Sepp Blatter Steps Down As FIFA President

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By Chris Wright

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Well, that was unexpected. Mere minutes ago, Sepp Blatter called a hastily-arranged FIFA congress to announce that he isstepping down as the president of world football's governing body after 17 years on the throne.

This coming just a few days after the Swiss dumpling was re-elected as glorious leader for a fifth term.

Done Deal: Celtic Fork Out £1.5m For Man City Defender Dedryck Boyata

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Celtic sign Dedryck Boyata on four-year deal http://t.co/rZ53LthKR6 (NM) pic.twitter.com/4PD69EPIj4

- Celtic Football Club (@celticfc) June 2, 2015

Celtic have invested £1.5million inManchester City's 24-year-old Belgian defenderDedryck Boyata, bringing him in on a four-year contract.

Football Art: Brilliant Football Shirt Designs Inspired By Classic Rock Bands (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Hark at these corkers, ascooked up by La Casaca (@LaCasacaBlog), i.e, the very same chaps that brought us those similarly drop dead gorgeous fine art-themed football shirts a month or so back.

Basically, as part of their #RockBasedShirts project, La Casaca have designed football shirts inspired by a raft of classic rock bands.

Turns Out Marco Verratti Is Absolutely Bloody Terrible At Beat-Boxing (Video)

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By Chris Wright

With a one and a two and a splutter and a wheeze...

Marco Veratti has spent this past season playing more successful passes than any other midfielder in Europe on his way to a domestic treble with PSG. He also has thekind of alluring azure eyes that have drawn many a beguiled sailor to their deaths upon the rocks ofSirenum scopuli over the years.

Competition: Predict Champions League Final First Goalscorer And WIN! £500 Of Free Takeaway With Hungry House

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Ahoy there Pies fans! Another long, ludicrous and wildly entertaining season of football is almost at an end...but not quite. There is the small matter of the Champions League Final still to come.

To celebrate, how about getting your hands on an entire summer's worth of free takeaway?

As you're probably aware, the Champions League Final kicks off between Barcelona and Juventus this weekendand Hungry House willbe rewarding one lucky football fan with a whopping great takeaway voucher £500 worth to be precise!

Random Great Goals: PSG Cult Hero Francis Llacer Scores Monstrous Volley Against Caen, 1994 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

While hardly the most gifted player of his generation, you have to give Francis Llacer credit for his finding his niche providing erstwhile, solidly unspectacular full-back cover for PSG for just shy of a decade, making a little over 100 appearances for the French side in the ten years between 1988 and 1998.

FIFA Corruption: Jack Warner Denies Any Wrongdoing While Citing Spoof Article From The Onion

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Via Anorak

Ex-FIFA vice president Jack Warner, like several of his former cohorts, has been accused of racketeering. He's been arrested, though hemaintains that he's innocent. Warner claims thathis arrest was made in retaliation and that it is rooted in the United States' failed World Cup bid.

Fans Of Paraguayan Club Olimpia Steal Rival Team’s Trophies And Dump Them On The Pitch (Video)

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By Chris Wright

The two oldest, most successful clubs in Paraguay, Club Olimpia and Club Guarani, met in the Primera Division on Sunday evening and, as per usual, things were a little on the fraughtside.

Police were forced to intervene before the game when packs of rival fans clashed outside the stadium, culminating in a group of Olimpia-supporting scallywagsbreaking into Guarani's trophy room and pilfering as much of the club's silverware asthey could carry.

Incredibly Tight Algerian Premier League Season Ends With Top-Scoring Team Being Relegated

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By Chris Wright

TheAlgerian Championnat Premier Division table, as seen with four fixtures left to play

As you may well recall, a month or so ago we featured the madness of theAlgerian Championnat Premier Division title run-in here on Pies, with the league poised so tightly that, with four games left to play and 12 points up for grabs, the top side were still in theoretical danger of being relegated and the bottom side were still in a position to win the league.

Stay Classy Newcastle United: Ryan Taylor and Jonas Gutierrez Sacked In Single Phone Call

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The BBC is reporting that Newcastle United sacked Ryan Taylor and Jonas Gutierrez in the same phone call.

The story goes that John Carver calledTaylor and told him he was being released. Carver then asked Taylor topass the phone to Gutierrez, who was also given the bullet.

Hamburg’s Pierre-Michel Lassoga Receives Crucial Buttock Massage During Bundesliga Play-Off (Video)

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By Chris Wright

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They were hanging over the precipice at one point but Hamburg just about managed to preserve their record of being the only team never to have been relegated from the Bundesligaby ousting Karlsruhe in the second leg of the promotion/relegation play-off last night.

Transfer Balls: Liverpool Move For Milner, Real Reel In Raheem, Costa Quitting Chelsea

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Milner Moves To Merseyside

Linked with Arsenal in recent weeks, James Milner now looks set for a move to Anfield, according to the Guardian (and every other outlet).

10 Of The Finest Title/Trophy Celebration Mishaps And Misdemeanours

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By Chris Wright

With Jack Wilshere's little anti-Tottenham diatribe causing a few silly ripples of controversy today, Pies thought we'd look at a few other occasions wherein players have allowed the celebratory revelry of a title parade or trophy presentation get a bit out of hand some more literally than others.

Jurgen Klopp Scuttles Liverpool Dreams By Announcing He’s On Managerial Break ‘Until Further Notice’

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By Chris Wright

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Gone fishin'

One in the eye for quixotic Liverpool fans this afternoon with the news that the object of their wildest fantastical managerial desire, Jurgen Klopp, has announced he will be stepping away from football for the foreseeable future.

Lionel Messi Will Wear These Ice Cold Signature Boots In The Champions League Final (Photos & Video)

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By Chris Wright

Let's face it, the man could play in flip-flops and still have the run on everyone else on the pitch, but these are the boots that Lionel Messi will be wearing as Barcelona take on Juventus inthe 2014/15 Champions League Final in Berlin (and in the Copa America this summer).

Aston Villa Fan ‘Loses House And Life Savings’ After Being Convinced Villa Would Win FA Cup By Psychic

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By Chris Wright

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Aston Villa did not win the FA Cup. In fact, they didn't even come within a sniff of winning the FA Cup. They were, if memory serves, pummelled into submission by an Arsenal team that cantered to a 4-0 victory in the final at Wembley.

Norwegian Referee Manages To Land Coin Toss On Strømsgodset Captain’s Head (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Short and sweet. There were wonderfully slapstick scenes over in the Tippeligaen at the weekend when, with the sun in his eyes, referee Svein Oddvar Moen managed to land his pre-match coin toss on the head ofStrømsgodset skipper Espen Bugge Pettersen before his side's 2-0 win over Lillestrom.

Brick By Brick: Arsenal’s FA Cup Triumph Recreated In Glorious Lego Form (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Here's Arsenal's momentous, record-breaking 12th FA Cup triumph as recreated by those ever-dilligent Brick by Brick chaps in the only way they know how.

Olivier Giroud's hair has never looked quite so rigid...

Who knows,maybe you lot are sick and tired of these things by now?

Why Arsenal Are Wrong To Warn Jack Wilshere For Tottenham Abuse

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Everyone has this picture of footballers in their head: finely-tuned athletic machines, boring and with more money than Jesus and 3mm pump-needle holes for anuses.

Their life is football and there's nothing more to it than that, dedicating themselves solely to the concept of putting balls in nets, bums on seats and trophies in trophy cabinets.

Italian Teenager Wakes From Month-Long Coma, Asks If Juventus Are Still In Champions League

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By Chris Wright

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An Italian teenager who fell into a coma after being trapped underwater for 42 minutes miraculously regained consciousnessthis weekend, and with one thing on his mind.

The 14-year-old, known only as 'Michael', became trapped after jumping into a canal in Milan.

Motherwell Fan Accidentally Pokes Rangers Midfielder Lee McCulloch In The Face With Flag Pole (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Motherwell comfortably ensured that Rangers would be playing Scottish Championship football for at least another year after wallopingthem over the two-legged play-off final by an aggregate score of 6-1.

Having won the away leg 3-1 at Ibrox four days previous, Well followed up with a convincing 3-0 victory at Fir Park on Sunday afternoon to preserve their Premiership status with gusto.

Shit Lookalikes: Dani Alves & Opie From ‘Family Guy’

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By Chris Wright

We knew we'd seen Dani Alves' Copa Del Rey 'vole turd' haircut before somewhere...

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email it over to us at waatpies@gmail.com or drop us a Tweet @waatpies and we'll happily give it a butcher's.

Transfer Balls: Man Utd Set For Schneiderlin, Liverpool Love Lacazette, Dann The Man For Everton

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By Alan Duffy

Transfer Balls: Rounding up the day's football tittle-tattle so you don't have to...

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Man Utd Sweet On Schneiderlin

Considered by many to be headed for Arsenal, Southampton midfielder Morgan Schneiderlin now looks set for a move to Manchester United, according to the Mirror.