Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2014

World Cup: France 2-0 Nigeria – Pogba On Target As Les Bleus Leave It Late Against Super Eagles (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

France 2-0 Nigeria World Cup Last 16 30th June 2014

Two goals in the last 11 minutes gave France a victory against Nigeria which puts them into the last eight of the World Cup.

For long periods of the game it was the Africans who looked sharper and more likely to score, withEmmanuel Emenike having a goal flagged offside in the first period.

World Cup Vine: Thomas Muller And Germany Makes Dog’s Dinners Of Free-Kick Routine v Algeria

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By Alan Duffy

They may have ultimately won this last 16 battle with Algeria, but Germany's free-kick in the second-half was a thing of comedic beauty, an over-intricate training ground move turns farcical by Thomas Muller's slip. Beautifully crap.

Here are two vines which show the Keystone Cops free-kick in all it's silly glory.

‘Pwomise I’ll Never Bite Anyone Again’ – Luis Suarez Apologises To Giorgio Chiellini And The Entire Football Family…

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By Chris Wright

Luis Suarez has just issued a public apology to Giorgio Chiellini for biting him, just like Adidas/Real Madrid/both asked him to...

My apologies to Chiellini: pic.twitter.com/CvfkkjxzlM

— Luis Suarez (@luis16suarez) June 30, 2014

Fun times.

‘The Mutual Feeling Of Love Will Always Be There!’ – AC Milan Confirm Kaka Exit With Gushing Goodbye Statement

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By Chris Wright

AC Milan have agreed to pulp Kaka's contract in order to free him up to join MLS franchise Orlando City, releasing him back into the wild through tear-strewn eyes.

The plan is for 'Ricky' to join boyhood club Sao Paulo on loan until December before joining Orlando City for the start of the new MLS season.

Luis Suarez Offered Asylum By KF Hajvalia, Kosovan Club Who Play Outside FIFA’s Jurisdiction

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By Chris Wright

Luis helps himself to a snack out on the veranda

Facing the prospect of spending the next four months banned from global football at FIFA's behest following his gnaw on Giorgio Chiellini's shoulder, cannibal martyr Luis Suarez has been offered asylum from an unlikely source.

Let’s Hear It For…Deadly Dirk Kuyt!

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By Chris Wright

Oh Dirk, how doPieslove thee? Let uscount the ways.

Like some inexhaustibleorange Terminator with hair like wet linguine, Kuyt just never stops; a cog that keeps on churning, slogging, tracking and sweating profusely, doing whatsoever is asked of him to the highest level his three-lunged constitution will allow.

South Korea Players Arrive Back Home At Incheon Airport Only To Have Toffees Pelted At Them By Angry Fans

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By Chris Wright

Having slumped out of the World Cup at the group stages, South Korea flew back home yesterday only to be "greeted" at Incheon InternationalAirport by hordes of disgruntled fans.

In fact the fans were so disgruntled that they pelted the South Korean squad with toffees as they lined up for a quick photo for the assembled press.

Montreal Impact Striker Jack McInerney Scores Outrageous Volley/Massive Fluke vs Houston Dynamo (Video)

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By Chris Wright

It looked more like an involuntary spasm than any kind of technique we've ever seen, but Montreal Impact striker Jack McInerny ("Jack Mac" to his friends) writhed and whirled and somehow managed to score an absolute peach of a deft lobbed volley against Houston Dynamo last night.

BT Sport Produce Handy, Cut-Out-And-Keep ‘Beards Of The World Cup’ Guide…

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By Chris Wright

It's been long overdue, but BT Sport have finally produced a handy, wallet-sized, cut-out-and-keep guide to all of the various facial hair stylings on show at the World Cup.

From Alonso to Villa, they're all here...

(Image: @btsportfootball)

‘Bunch Of Old B*****ds!’ – Uruguay President José Mujica Berates FIFA For Doling Out ‘Fascist’ Luis Suarez Ban

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By Chris Wright

José Mujica (centre, sandals) is not best pleased with Sepp and co.

Uruguayan PresidentJosé Mujica has berated FIFA after football's governing body saw fit to ban Suarez for nine games and four months as punishment for biting an opponent for the third time in his professional career.

Dutch Airline KLM Roasted By Actor Gael Garcia Bernal For Mocking Mexico’s World Cup Exit

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By Chris Wright

Gael Garcia Bernal: Not a happyconejito

Following Holland's last-ditch comeback victory thatsent Mexico packing from the World Cup in Fortaleza yesterday, Dutch airline KLM poked a bit of fun at their Mexican brethren by Tweeting a picture of one of their departure boards along with the caption "Adios Amigos".

World Cup: Costa Rica 1-1 Greece (5-3 Pens) – The Fairytale Continues For Los Ticos After Shoot-Out Drama In Recife (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Costa Rica 1-1 Greece (5-3 Pens) World Cup Last 16 29th June 2014

Greece joined Uruguay and Italy as teams overcome by surprise package Costa Rica in Brazil. Los Ticos, down to 10 men in the second-half battled to a penalty shoot-out, which they ultimately won courtesy of five immaculate spot-kicks.

Ouch! Man Utd Were Offered James Rodriguez For £5m In 2010, Sir Alex Passed And Bought Bebé A Few Weeks Later

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By Chris Wright

The Guardian are reporting tonight that, back in 2010, Manchester United were offered Colombian wunderkind James Rodriguez for a piddly £5million, only for Sir Alex Ferguson to pass and shell out £7+million on Bebéa few weeks later.

Ouch.Hindsight can be one hell of a cruel bitch sometimes.

World Cup: Netherlands 2-1 Mexico – Heartbreak for Mexicans As Late Rally Puts Dutch Through To Last 8 (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Netherlands 2-1 Mexico World Cup Last 16 29th June 2014

Louis van Gaal's Dutch side produced an incredible last-gasp comeback against Mexico to keep their World Cup dreams alive.

For most of the game the Dutch had toiled against a vibrant, well organised Mexico side who went ahead on 48 minutes, courtesy of a superb strike from Giovani Dos Santos.

World Cup GIF: Arjen Robben Dives To Snaffle Game-Winning Penalty For Holland Against Mexico

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By Chris Wright

Yes he was clearly touched(not a foul) by Marquez boot-to-boot, but don't you dare go giving us any bullplop about contact and/or the existencethereof measures were desperate, Arjen Robben conspired to dive in the area, Mexico were grifted, Huntelaar buried it and Holland are through to the quarters.

Portuguese Dog Reacts To Portugal Being Eliminated From The World Cup (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Obviously emotionally invested in the whole thing, here's Severa the Portuguese labrador's reaction to watching her beloved Selecçãobombing out of the World Cup...

Poor thing. We know how she feels!

£6.6m Russia Flop Fabio Capello Highest-Paid Boss At World Cup, Mexico’s Mighty Miguel Herrara A Bargain At £125k

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By Alan Duffy

This came out earlier this month but it's rather interesting to look again considering the performances of the various teams in brazil so far.

After overseeing a rather limp performance at the 2014 World Cup, Fabio Capello may well have a problem justifying his massive pay packet to his employers.

World Cup: Colombia 2-0 Uruguay – King James Leads Los Cafeteros Into Last Eight (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Colombia 2-0 Uruguay World Cup Last 16 28th June 2014

Colombia secured a deserved place in the last eight of the competition courtesy of a good win against a Luis-Suarez-less Uruguay.

Monaco schemer James Rodriguez was the star of the show for Colombia, netting both goals, the first of which was a thing of beauty.

USA Fan Has Tim Howard’s Face Shaved Into His Hair, Complete With Mighty Beard (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Since his Guillermo Ochoa hair art went viral a week or so ago, San Antonio-based barber Rob the Original has been inundated with a steady stream of World Cup-themed from his patrons.

Cristiano Ronaldo and the World Cup logo have beenrequested over the past couple of days but the subject of Rob's latest custom follicular creation is Tim Howard the face of whom (including his mighty beard) one USA fan had expertly shaved and dyed into the back of his bonce.

Puma’s New Super Secret Arsenal 2014/15 Home Shirt Leaked…Again! (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

No doubt many of you have already clapped eyes on it already, but yet another photo of Puma's super secret maiden Arsenal shirt has been leaked online today.

Alas, we think Le Grove put it best...

Puma ain't exactly Steve Jobs when it comes to secrecy.

Famous Colombian Sofia Vergara Congratulates Los Cafeteros On Reaching World Cup Quarter-Finals (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Just so you know, arguablythe second most famous Colombian woman in the world, Modern Family actress Sofia Vergara, dressed up in her jazziest trousers to pay tribute toLos Cafeteros on beating Uruguay to reach the World Cup quarter-finals...

Gracias mi seleccion!

World Cup: Colombian Commentator Goes Nuclear After James Rodriguez’s Volley Against Uruguay (Audio)

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By Chris Wright

It's perhaps not much of a surprise, but the commentator forColombian broadcaster Caracol probably enjoyed James Rodriguez's belting volley against Uruguay more than almost anybody else on the planet.

TAKA TAKA TAKA...

In fact, his reaction to Rodriguez's second goal of the evening wasmuch the same vein.

Shit Lookalikes: Uruguay Coach Oscar Tabarez & Tony Bennett

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By Chris Wright

Got a World Cup Shit Lookalike for Pies? Submit it via email onwaatpies@gmail.comor via Twitter@waatpiesand we'll gladly give it a look.

Brazil Fans Handed Chant Cheat Sheets At Estadio Mineirao To Sing Along During Chile Game (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

As spotted by Pies' Brazilian narc Nacho Aubin (@NachoAubin), it would appear that the football tourists among the58,000 peopleinside theEstadio Mineirao in Belo Horizonte forBrazil's second round game against Chile yesterday were given chant cheat sheets to help them join in with the real fans.

World Cup: Brazil 1-1 Chile (3-2 Pens) – Hosts Pip La Roja After Shoot-Out Drama In Belo Horizonte (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Brazil 1-1 Chile (3-2 Pens) World Cup Last 16 28th June 2014

The frame of the Brazilian goal would prove to be the undoing of Chile in Saturday's Last 16 clash against the hosts. Firstly, with the scores at 1-1 and time almost up, subMauricio Pinilla thundered an effort against the barbefore later on, Gonzalo Jara's shoot-out spot-kick hit the post to hand the hosts victory.

World Cup GIF: James Rodriguez Scores Goal Of The Tournament (So Far) With Thumping Volley vs Uruguay

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By Chris Wright

James Rodriguez just scored the goal of the World Cup so far...

If he cost €45million a year ago, the mind absolutely boggles as to what his asking price might be after the World Cup's over!

World Cup GIF: Gonzalo Jara Steps Up And Misses Chile’s Decisive Penalty To Send Brazil Through

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By Chris Wright

It took a penalty shoot-out, but Brazil made it through to the quarter-finals of their own World Cup by seeing off Chile in Belo Horizonte this afternoon.

Former Forest defender Gonzalo Jara was the unlucky man to miss the decisive penalty, sending Chile's final spot-kick pinging off the inside of Julio Cesar's left post and away into the yawning void of elimination.

World Cup Snapshot: Alexis Sanchez Celebrates Pulling Chile Level Against Brazil…

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By Chris Wright

Beautiful photo of Alexis Sanchez scoring his equaliser against Brazil in theEstadio Mineirao: the loudest voice in a stadium of stunned silence...

(Photo: Manu Fernandez/AP/PA)

Brazilian Pensioner Swaps Unused 1950 ‘Maracanazo’ World Cup Ticket For 2014 World Cup Final Ticket

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By Chris Wright

An 85-year-old Brazilian gentleman has traded in a mint condition, unused 1950 World Cup ticket in exchange for a seat at the 2014 Final in Rio de Janeiro.

Along with around 200,000 other fans, Brazil fan Joedir Belmont bought a ticket to attend the final deciding game (they didn't have "finals" as such in those days) of the 1950 tournament at the Maracana, but had to skip the match to attend to his ill mother.

Ajaccio Fan Puts House And Family Up For Sale To Raise Cash To Keep Guillermo Ochoa At His Beloved Club

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By Chris Wright

One desperate Ajaccio fan haslisted his entire house and all its contents (including his wife and children) on a French auction website in order to raise enough cash to keep Mexican goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa at the Corsican club next season.

Despite being on the very cusp of landing a move to PSGthree years ago, Ochoa instead found himself keeping goalfor perennial Ligue 1 strugglers Ajaccio after a failed drugs test impeded his career.

Snapshot: Park Ji Sung’s ‘Pop-Up Old Trafford’ Wedding Invitations Are A Bit Swish…

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By Chris Wright

Having retired at the end of last season, the next step for former Manchester United midfielder Park Ji Sung is to wed his long-time partner Kim Min Ji on July 27th.

The couple have sent out the invites and, as you can see, they definitely fall into the "friggin' swish" category with a little pop-out Old Trafford and everything.

Jermain Defoe & Gilberto Squabble Over Free-Kick Duties – What Happens Next Is Priceless… (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Having already scored, Jermain Defoe was keen to double his tally against Toronto when the New York Red Bulls won a free-kick some 25-yards from goal.

Alas, Defoe's Red Bulls team-mate Gilberto also fancied his chances and the pair set about squabbling like a pair of kids in the playground over who was going to take the kick.

Shit Lookalikes: Luke Shaw & A Gormless Husky Dog

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By Chris Wright

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email it in (waatpies@gmail.com) or Tweet us (@waatpies) and we'll happily give it the once-over.

(Shaw image via @Squawka)

World Cup Snapshot: SCUM FREEZEBAG! Chris Kamara Chases Down And Catches Street Robber In Brazil…

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By Chris Wright

Stop everything you are doing and listen. Chris Kamara has just chased down an opportunist robber through the streets of Brazil, apprehended him and like the Judge Dredd of football banterlols, bought the villain to justice.

Thankfully he also live-Tweeted the whole ordeal, complete with photos.

Holland Squad Promised Free Trip Into Space If They Win The World Cup

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By Chris Wright

Arjenand the chaps are just four little wins from space

A Dutch aerospace company have promised to let the Holland squad slip the surly bonds of Earth anddance the heavenson laughter-silvered wings, if and only if they manage to win the World Cup.

Luke Shaw Completes £30m Move To Man Utd, Poses With His New Shirt… (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Following hot on the heels of Ander Herrera, Luke Shaw has been officially unveiled as a Manchester United player after passing his medical and completing a £30million(ish) move from Southampton this afternoon...

.

David Moyes In Talks With Galatasaray Over Manager’s Job, Club Confirm He’s Not One Of Their ‘Main Targets’

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By Chris Wright

Turkish side Galatasaray have revealed that David Moyes has been in touch regarding their current managerial vacancy, confirming that they have participated in apreliminary chat with the former Manchester United boss but that he isn't one of their first choices as things stand.

Luke Shaw Changes Twitter Bio To Read ‘Professional Footballer At Man Utd’ (Then Changes Is Back Again!)

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By Chris Wright

The transfer isnot quite official yet, but Luke Shaw is 99.999% a Manchester United player he's even changed his Twitter bio to say as much...

That's as near as damn-it.

UPDATE: Someone's obviously had a word in our Lukey's ear about jumping the gun and he's gone and deleted his Twitter bio from view.

Young Brazilian Fan Breaks Into Cristiano Ronaldo’s Hotel Room, Gets Photo And Autograph For His Troubles

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By Chris Wright

Having left his hotel room to go and pick up a full-length mirror and another industrial vat of hair creosote, Cristiano Ronaldo returned to his digs in Brasilia last night to find that he wasn't alone.

Indeed, on Ronaldo's bed sat a 15-year-old football fan named Yago Leal, who had shimmied down the drainpipe and into the Portuguese superstar's suite just to get a glimpse at how CR7 lives his life.

Pies’ Top 10 Goals Of The 2014 World Cup Group Stage

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By Chris Wright

Yep, it's in there, don't worry...

The 2014 World Cup has seen a record136 goals scored in the group stages, topping the previous highest amount scored in the opening bouts-130 back in 2oo2.

Given that we're faced with the perfect juncture, Pies thought we'd take stock and compile our Top 1o.

Allez Les Fennecs! Pandemonium Ensues In The Streets As Algeria Reach Last 16 Of World Cup (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Thanks to last night's 1-1 draw against the Russians, Algeria made it through to the last 16 of a World Cup for the very first time in their history and the entire country proceeded to celebrate according.

As well as the jubilation in theArena da Baixada, delirious pandemonium broke out on the streets of Algiers and in the Algerian quarters of Paris, Lyon and Marseilles with Fennec fans celebrating wildly (some clashing with police, we must add) late into the night and who could blame them?

Let’s Hear If For…Fabio Capello’s Handsome Red Tank Top

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By Chris Wright

Piesfeel it got a little overlooked during all the hubbub yesterday so we'd just like to take a moment of quiet reflection to express our admiration for Fabio Capello's choice of touchline garbfor Russia's game against Algeria.

Didn't he look smart?

Snapshot: Arsenal Boss Arsene Wenger Plays Beach Football With Christian Karembeu In Rio

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By Alan Duffy

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger seems to be enjoying himself in Brazil in between commentating for French TV. The 64-year-old even went down to the beach in Rio to play a bit of football with none other than 1998 World Cup winner Christian Karembeu. Looks like Arsene still has dem skillz.

World Cup Vine: Belgium Midfielder Steven Defour Sent Off For Stupid Two-Footed Lunge v South Korea

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By Alan Duffy

Making his first start of the 2014 World Cup, Porto midfielder Steven Defour got himself sent off just before half-time against South Korea after lunging atKim Shin-wook.

The challenge was utterly silly, happening almost on the half-way line in a game Belgium didn't have to win.

World Cup: Portugal 2-1 Ghana – Goodnight John Boye, Goodnight Portugal, Goodnight Black Stars (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Portugal2-1 Germany World Cup Group G 26th June 2014

Despite beating Ghana 2-1 in an entertaining game on Thursday, Portugal joined the list of big name European sides to bow out at the group stages of the 2014 World Cup.

On the half-hour mark, the wonderfully monikered John Boye netted an unfortunate opener for Portugal, putting through his own net after a cross bounced up right in front of him.

World Cup: USA 0-1 Germany – Muller Scores Again As Germans And Americans Go Through To Last 16 (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

USA 0-1 Germany World Cup Group G 26th June 2014

Germany finished their Group G adventures with a deserved victory against the USA in a rain-sodden Recife. Thomas Muller was once again the scorer for the Germans, firing in a superb effort on 55 minutes in a game where the USA never troubled Manuel Neuer in the German goal.

Seamus Coleman Signs Massive New Everton Contract, Extends Until Summer Of 2019

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By Chris Wright

Following another impressive season spent yomping down the right wing on the overlap at Goodison, Seamus Coleman has agreed a massive new contract extension at Everton.

The club announced the news via their official Twitter account...

BREAKING: Defender Seamus Coleman has signed a five-year contract extension that will keep him at Everton until the summer of 2019.

Suarez vs Chiellini, In Bizarre Korean Meme Form…

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By Chris Wright

???

???

(Via @nikpostinger)

World Cup GIFs: Poor Old Jermaine Jones Suffers FAIL After FAIL After FAIL Against Germany

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By Chris Wright

Despite picking up the big 'L', the US advanced through to the knock-out stages of the World Cup thanks to Portugal's parting gift to them(a 2-1 victory over Ghana), with the little-fancied Yanks outdoing themselves to squeak into the latter stages.

However, it was funny old afternoon for Jermaine Jones (who we already know isn't the sharpest sandwich at the picnic), with the be-dreadlocked midfielderput in a calamity-strewn shift in the middle of the park.

World Cup Vine: Grabby Portugal Midfielder William Carvalho Almost Tears Jordan Ayew’s Shorts Off

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By Chris Wright

Coming into the World Cupon a wave of hype, Portugal midfielder William Carvalhomade a lasting impression on the watching world after coming on at half-time against Ghana this afternoon.

Sadly, that impression was the image of Jordan Ayew's pant-swaddled package forever wobbling about forlornly, replaying forever in their mind's eye on an infinite loop for the rest of time.

World Cup: US President Barack Obama Watches USA-Germany From Aboard Air Force One (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Just saying, Barack Obama probably has a more impressive seat for the ongoing USA-Germany World Cup tie than you do...

Even U.S. President Barack Obama is watching the soccer. He's currently aboard Air Force One. #USA #USA #USA pic.

Man Utd Complete €36m Deal For Ander Herrera, Midfielder Moves From Athletic Bilbao On Four-Year Deal

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By Chris Wright

Atransfer six months in the making, Manchester United have announced that Ander Herrera has joined the club from Athletic Bilbao after the Spanish midfielder bought himself out of his€36million release fee earlier today...

Herrera, 24, joins from Athletic Club on a four-year deal.

Even The Wiggles Are Taking The Piss Out Of Luis Suarez! (Video)

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By Chris Wright

If you're not familiarwith The Wiggles and their oeuvre then please allow us to enlighten you.

They are Australia's finestever export and most likely the biggest children's musical group on the planet.Their albums include "The Adventures of Captain Feathersword the Friendly Pirate", "Wiggle Safari", "Here Comes The Big Red Car" and 2001′s seminal neo-Orwellian concept LP(their magnum opus in Pies' humble opinion) "Hoop Dee Doo!

Will Ferrell Crashes USMNT Fan Party In Recife, Promises To Bite Every German Player If Selected (Video)

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By Chris Wright

The great Will Ferrell surprised punters last night by joining "President Teddy Goalsevelt" on stage at the USMNT fan party in Recife, being announced to the crowd as the direct replacement for crocked Jozy Altidore in the US squad ahead of their do-or-diefinal group fixture against Germany.

Neymar Being Investigated By FIFA For Exposing ‘Prohibited’ Underpants At World Cup

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By Chris Wright

It's not often you hear Neymar and Nicklas Bendtner lumped into the same bracket, but it would appear that the former is following the latter's lead in getting himself investigated for wearing unlawful shreddies at a major football tournament.

Bendtner was famously fined€100,000 by UEFA for exposing the waistband on his Paddy Power-sponsored boxer shorts after scoring for Denmark atEuro 2012.

Official: Luis Suarez Handed Nine-Match Ban And Banned From All Football For Four Months

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By Chris Wright

It's official. FIFA have slapped Luis Suarez with a big ol' nine-game ban for biting a fellow human being.

He'll also be banned from football for four months to boot...

BREAKING: Fifa announces nine-game ban for #Suarez and '4 months ban for any football-related activity'

— World Cup 2014 (@FIFAWorldCupTM) June 26, 2014

That includes beaches and parks, we trust?

Songwriter Tom Rosenthal Pens Achingly Beautiful Piano Ballad About Luis Suarez And His Madness (Audio)

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By Chris Wright

In the wake of Tuesday afternoon's shall we say "unpleasantness" in Natal, London-based balladeer Tom Rosenthal has penned an achingly beautiful torch song about Luis Suarez and the inherent animal madness thereof.

It's a heart-breaker...

The lyrics.

Ghana Send Sulley Muntari & Kevin-Prince Boateng Home From World Cup Over ‘Vulgar Insults’ And ‘Physical Attack’ On Committee Member

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By Chris Wright

Ghana have confirmed that Sulley Muntari and Kevin-Prince Boateng have been sent home from the World Cup just hours before the Black Stars' decisive final group game against Portugal.

A statement on the Ghana FA website said both players had "been suspended indefinitely", addingthat Boateng had been punished for "vulgar verbal insults targeted at coach Kwesi Appiah", while Muntari had been exiled for an"unprovoked physical attack on an executive committee member" believed to be Moses Parker Armah, who Muntari allegedly slapped during an argument.

Hulk Hogan Provides Motivational Speech For USA Squad Ahead Of Germany Tie, Brotha (Video)

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By Chris Wright

This just might be the most American thing ever, Jack: Hulk Hogan sayin' his prayers, takin' his vitamins, flexin'those 24-inch pythons and delivering a trademark motivational speech for the USA squad ahead of their critical game against Germany, brotha...

World Cup Snapshot: Ecuador Striker Enner Valencia Gets Some Crazy Air…

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By Chris Wright

Saying he's only about 5'9″ tall, it's fair to say that Ecuador strikerEnner Valencia has a fairly impressive standing jump on him...

Valencia was far and away the top goalscorer in Liga MX last season, banging in 18 goals for Pachuca in the space of 22 starts.

World Cup GIF: Lavezzi Nonchalantly Squirts Argentina Coach Sabella With Water Bottle

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By Chris Wright

Hey boss, you need to...heh heh...cool off!

Different angle...

Apparently Lavezzi is fairly infamous among his teammates for being a bit of a cheeky/intermittently annoying prankster.

Lest we forget, this is the man who honked the nose of the Mighty Zlatan and lived to tell the tale.

Everton Unveil New 2014/15 Home Kit With Umbro Back In The Saddle (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Inspired by the home strip worn by Everton when they won the Barcelona Cup in Spain in 1924, the year Umbro was founded, here be the lovely new home kit in which the Toffees will play as of next season...

Yep, love it.

God bless you, Umbro. Long may you reign.

Jurgen Klinsmann Provides USA Fans With Permission Slip To Bunk Off Work For Crunch World Cup Game Against Germany

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By Chris Wright

"I don't care! Do what you want!"

As circulatedby the US team's official Twitter account, coach Jurgen Klinsmann has personally signed off a slip givingYank fans wanting to watch today's crucial World Cup game against Germanyhis personal permission to bunk off from work in order to catch the match, which kicks off at the entirely problematic time ofnoon in the east and 9 am in the west.

World Cup Vine: Ecuador’s Antonio Valencia Sent Off For Studs-Up Lunge vs France

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By Alan Duffy

This was a proper old school studs-up challenge, the kind that could easily break an opponent's leg. In this instance,the man on the end of the challenge, France defender Lucas Digne, lived to fight another day.

However, the perpetrator Antonio Valencia was rightly shown a straight red.

Wall Street Journal Produces World Cup Injury-Feigning Rankings, Brazil Come Out On Top

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By Alan Duffy

Now this is rather interesting. The Wall Street Journal has produced a fascinating chart based on how long players in the 2014 World Cup have spent rolling around on the pitch feigning injury.

Now this is rather interesting. The Wall Street Journal has produced a fascinating chart based on how long players in the 2014 World Cup have spent rolling around on the pitch feigning injury.

World Cup: Honduras 0-3 Switzerland – Shaq-Attack! Bayern Man Bags Hat-Trick To Fire Swiss Into Last 16 (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Honduras 0-3 Switzerland World Cup Group F 25th June 2014

A superb hat-trick fromBayern Munich's Xherdan Shaqiri secured a precious 3-0 win for Switzerland against Honduras on Wednesday night, a result which sees the Swiss reach the knockout stages of the competition.

Ecuador 0-0 France – Valencia Sees Red As Les Bleus Top Group E With Draw (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Ecuador 0-0 France World Cup Group F 25th June 2014

France topped Group E despite playing out a goalless draw with Ecuador on Wednesday night.

Any chance Ecuador had of securing the win they needed to qualify for the last 16 were scuppered by the sending-off of Antonio Valencia on 50 minutes.

World Cup: Nigeria 2-3 Argentina – Masterful Messi Matched By Magic Musa In Entertaining Five-Goal Clash (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Nigeria 2-3 Argentina World Cup Group F 25th June 2014

Nigeria and Argentina both made it through to the knockout stages after an enjoyable five-goal gamein Porto Alegre.

Lionel Messi was once again the star of the show for Argentina, bagging a brace including a free-kick which Super Eagles' 'keeper Vincent Enyeama really should have done better with.

World Cup: Bosnia-Herzegovina 3-1 Iran – Reza Goal Not Enough As Iran Bow Out Against Bosnia (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Bosnia-Herzegovina 3-1 Iran World Cup Group F 25th June 2014

Iran scored their first goal of the tournament, courtesy of Charlton'sReza Ghoochannejad but it wasn't enough to keep them in the tournament as an Impressive Bosnian side won this Group F clash 3-1.

World Cup: Greece 2-1 Ivory Coast – Spot-Kick Drama Sees Greeks Reach Last 16, Elephants Trudge Home (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Greece 2-1 Ivory Coast World Cup Group C 24th June 2014

Greece pulled off a dramatic victory against Ivory Coast on Tuesday night to make it out of the group stages for the first time in their history.

Giorgios Samaras netted the last-minute winner courtesy of a spot-kick.

World Cup: Japan 1-4 Colombia – Los Cafeteros Stroll Into Last 16 Against Japan (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Japan 1-4 Colombia World Cup Group C 24th June 2014

Colombia eased into the last 16 courtesy of another fine attacking display, this time against Japan.

Highly-ratedwidemanJuan Cuadrado opened the scoring from the penalty spot on 17 minutes but aShinji Okazaki header on the stroke of half-time gave the Blue Samurai hope.

Top 12 Hilariously Biased Reactions To Suarez Bite From ‘Red And White Kop’ Liverpool Fan Forum

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By Chris Wright

As collated by the ever-brilliant @RAWK_Meltdown Twitter account, which keeps tabs and reposts some of the more ridiculous things uttered by the over-sensitive Liverpool fans over on the 'Red And White Kop' fan forum, here are our favourite bafflingly biased, ridiculously defensiveand hilariously one-eyed reactions to Luis Suarez biting a fellow human being.

Impressive World Cup Street Art In East London Vandalised By Anti-FIFA Protestors (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Having been commissioned by Betfair to liven up the streets of east London, Brazilian street artist Cranio famous in his native land for his blue indigenous figures recently daubed a series of impressive World Cup-themed scenes on a vacant wall, depicting Neymar's first goal at the tournament, Robin van Persie's corking diving header against Spain and Guillermo Ochoa's heroic none-shall-pass shift against Brazil.

Mexico Fan Pays Tribute To His Hero With Absolutely Amazing ‘Guillermo Ochoa’ Haircut (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In tribute to Mexico's latest national hero, Saint Guillermo of Ochoa, this fan had the nigh-on unbeatable 'keeper's face shaved and died into the side of his head.

It truly is an astounding piece of work...

Kudos to whomever is responsible.

FIFA Open Disciplinary Proceedings Over Luis Suarez Bite, Cannibalistic Striker Could Face Mammoth 24-Match Ban!

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By Chris Wright

After "gathering all the necessary elements", FIFA have begun disciplinary proceedings against Luis Suarez today in the wake of him appearing to gnaw on Giorgio Chiellini's shoulder during yesterday's World Cup group tie between Italy and Uruguay.

Shit Lookalikes: Roy Hodgson & This Fried Egg

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By Chris Wright

Much love to our partners in crime Anorak for the spot!

Got a World Cup Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email it in (waatpies@gmail.com) or Tweet us (@waatpies) and we'll happily give it the once-over.

Spain’s World Cup Plane Struck By Lightning While Flying Home To Madrid (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Almost as if almighty Zeushimself was casting judgement on their naff performance in Brazil,Spain's World Cup plane was struck by lightning as the squad flew home to Madrid yesterday.

According to MARCA, the Iberia flight 2907 which was carrying the Spain squad home was hit by a bolt of lightning mid-flight but suffered no negative consequences.

Young Cameroon Fan Asks Samuel Eto’o For A Hug, Things Get Emotional… (Video)

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By Chris Wright

With the Cameroon team having been well and truly eliminated from the World Cup after registering three straight defeats, it was all a bit glum as the ultimatelyreally rather Domitable Lions squad prepared to fly back home.

On leaving their hotel to board the bus, a young Brazilian boy by the name of Pedro called Samuel Eto'o over and asked for a hug.

World Cup GIF: Colombia’s James Rodriguez Scores Slinky Rinky Dinky Solo Chip vs Japan

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By Chris Wright

One of the World Cup's most engrossing performers so far, Colombia's nimble winger James (pronounced 'Hamez', apparently) Rodriguez further enhanced his star appeal with a filthy chip over the 'keeper to see off Japan and bag his third goal of the tournament in the process.

Norwegian Football Fan Wins £540 After Betting Luis Suarez Would Bite Someone During The World Cup (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Some Norwegian football fan out there is now 5,600 krone (about £540) better off after sticking a £3 bet on Luis Suarez to finish the World Cup having bitten someone...

Well played that man/woman/definitely man.

(Image via Twitter)

World Cup: Italy 0-1 Uruguay – Waiting For Godin: Captain Diego Heads La Celeste Into Last 16 (Photos & Highlights

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By Alan Duffy

Italy 0-1 Uruguay World Cup Group D 24th June 2014

This was a proper old school, niggly game between two of the best nigglers in the business. The Luis Suarez biting incident, which happened towards the end, is sure to overshadow what was a rather dull game with few chances for either side.

Thanks To Huffington Post, We Have A Definite Winner In The ‘Suarez Bite’ Headline Pun Contest!

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By Chris Wright

Sometimes you've just got to take your hat off, smile wryly and applaud...

World Cup: Costa Rica 0-0 England – Three Lions’ Brazilian Flop Ends In Limp Stalemate (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Costa Rica 0-0 England World Cup Group D 24th June 2014

Frankie Lamps bids farewell to international football

Roy Hodgson made a whole load of changes for this dead-rubber of a game (for England) but the likes of Jack Wilshere and Adam Lallana still couldn't secure a consolation win against Group D's surprise package Costa Rica.

World Cup GIF: Luis Suarez Bites Giorgio Chiellini’s Shoulder During Silly Squabble

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By Chris Wright

Here we go again...

Reformed character my arse.

Chiellini shouldering innocent men in the teeth AGAIN.

World Cup GIF: Mexico Coach Miguel Herrera Goes Super Saiyan

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By Chris Wright

Herrera goes Super Saiyan...

Totally rad, as the kids say.

Suggested further viewing...

The Many Faces Of Mexico Coach Miguel Herrera

(GIF via Extra Mustard)

Snapshot: World Cup Stadium Security Centre Accidentally Give Away WiFi Password…

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By Chris Wright

Here's one of the head bodsatthe RISCO World Cup security centre at the Arena Pantanal in Cuiaba, posing for a photo at his desk with the department's WiFi password proudly displayed on the screens at the back...

Once again, this is a photo of the World Cup SECURITYcentre.

Pies’ World Cup Dreamy Man-Crush XI

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By Chris Wright

As noted social commentator Jermaine Clement once posed: "Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?"

With that in mind, click on the right-hand side to scroll...

Pies' World Cup Dreamy Man-Crush XI ◄ Back Next ► Picture 1 of 11

Gigi Buffon (Italy) Older than the sands of the Kalahari, but a safe pair of hands none-the-less

World Cup: Croatia 1-3 Mexico – El Tri Too Good For Croats, Face Netherlands In Last 16 (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Croatia 1-3 Mexico World Cup Group A 23rd June 2014

Mexico deservedly beat Croatia 3-1 on Monday to book a their place in the knockout stages where they will face the Netherlands.

El Tri were the better of the two sides for long periods of the game but it too until the 72nd minute for the deadlock to be broken, when veteran defender Rafael Marquez headed home for the opener beforeAndres Guardadoand thenJavier Hernandez sealed the deal.

World Cup: Cameroon 1-4 Brazil – Neymar Stars As Hosts Top Group A, Face Chile In Last 16 (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Cameroon 1-4 Brazil World Cup Group A 23rd June 2014

The hosts were under a lot of pressure to produce a big performance after their disappointing 0-0 draw with Mexico and produce they did, firing four past the already-eliminated Cameroon.

Shit Lookalikes: Comb-Over Referee Nestor Pitana & NHS Advert Guy

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By Chris Wright

World class spotsmanship from Pies fan Graham, who noticed that our most recent Horror Hair inductee, comb-over aficionado and referee Nestor Pitana, bears an uncanny resemblance to the thinning-on-top chap in the NHS's old bowel cancer screening adverts.

Vicente Del Bosque Admits He Was Unaware David Villa Was Playing His Final Game For Spain

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By Chris Wright

We must admit it seemed a little callous at the time, but Vicente Del Bosque has admitted he was unaware that David Villa was playing his final game for Spain when he hauled the striker off with 33 minutes remaining of yesterday's World Cup dead rubber game against Australia.

Rio Ferdinand To Reunite With Harry Redknapp At QPR For One Last Roll Of The Dice

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By Chris Wright

After being cut loose by Manchester United at the end of the season, Rio Ferdinand is now understood to be on the very cusp of agreeing a deal to joinnewly-promoted QPR, a move that will see the defender re-united with his first professional manager, Harry Redknapp.

Ian Wright Declares Players Who Skip England Duty Should Ring Parents Of Dead Soldiers To Explain Why

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By Chris Wright

"Writing" in his 'Wrighty' column in The Sun today, Ian Wright has waded into the half-cocked ongoing debate over players allegedly shirking England call-upsby declaring that any lily-livered footballerwho wishes to duck out of international duty should be forced to ring up the bereaved parents of soldiers killed in Afghanistan to explain their reasons.

Australian Striker ‘Manny’ Provides Today’s Woeful Sunday League FAIL (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In which, during the recent Gippsland Soccer League clash between Monash and the impeccably-named Falcons 2000, Falcons striker "Manny"powershis way through the Monash defence and round the 'keeper, ignoring the repeated screams of his teammate, only to fall (and FAIL) at the very final hurdle.

The Many Faces Of Mexico Coach Miguel Herrera

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By Chris Wright

Pink-faced, sweat-swathed, gesticulating wildly and permanently on the verge of some sort of massive cardiovascular episode, we've fallen in love with Mexico coach Miguel Herrera just a little bit over the course of the World Cup.

Here's our visual guide to reading his mood.

World Cup GIF: Bored Diego Costa Attempts To Wax Xabi Alonso’s Leg

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By Chris Wright

Spotted on the Spanish bench during yesterday afternoon's too-little-too-late 3-0 tonking of Australia: a bored Diego Costa attempting to wax Xabi Alonso's leg with a strip of gaffer tape...

Alonso looking like a slightly disappointed father there.

(GIF: Pemoniz)

Australia 0-3 Spain – Second-String Spaniards Finish Dismal Campaign With Victory Against Socceroos (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Australia 0-3 Spain World Cup Group B 23nd June 2014

World Cup holders Spain ended a disastrous 2014 campaign on a positive note with a good win against Australia on the final day of matches in Group B.

David Villa, Fernando Torres and Juan Mata were the scorers in the game which also saw Cesc Fabregas come off the bench and Jose Reina, Raul Albion, Koke and Santi Cazorla feature in a mix-and-match Spanish side.

World Cup Vine: Cameroon Loon Stephan M’Bia Pushes Brazil Star Neymar To The Ground

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By Alan Duffy

Stephane M'Bia is a bit of a 'loose cannon', we know that from his QPR days. However, in pushing Brazil star Neymar for no apparent reason, the Cameroon midfielder kickstarted the samba star's evening. Neymar eventually brushed himself down and proceeded to score two first-half goals for the hosts in a fine individual display.

World Cup: Netherlands 2-0 Chile – Dutch Top Group B After Hard-Fought Win Against La Roja (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Netherlands 2-0 Chile World Cup Group B 23nd June 2014

The Netherlands finished top of Group B after a hard-fought win against runner's-up Chile. It was a tight affair with few clear-cut chances created until things started to open up in the second-half.

Helena Costa, First Female Coach In Men’s Game, Resigns As Clerment Boss After Less Than Two Months In The Role

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By Chris Wright

Helena Costa, who you may remember became the first ever female head coach in the men's game after taking over at Clermont Foot at the beginning of May, has resigned after less than two months in the role.

Clermont president Claude Michy has issued the following statement via the Ligue 2 club's website:

"Helena Costa has decided not to honour her commitments vis--vis Clermont Foot and therefore does not assume the role of coach for the coming season.

World Cup: This Is How USA 2-2 Portugal Looked In Terms Of Global Twitter Activity (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Hands up, we love these things! They're justso pwetty.

Watch out for the moment Clint Dempsey scored with his ding-a-ling. Twitter went white-hot ballistic!

Cristiano Ronaldo’s New Swish Hair Zig-Zag May Be Tribute To Young Brain Surgery Patient

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By Chris Wright

We're not entirely true if this is kosher or not, but there are reports circulating today that Cristiano's new hair-style for Portugal's game against the USA last night may have been a tribute to a young brain surgerypatient.

It's as yet unconfirmed by any official source, but it's being mooted that Ronaldo's Z-shaped pattern waspurposefully done in the same shape as the surgery scar left of the head of littleErik Ortiz Cruz, the 10-month old chap whom Ronaldo donated€60,000 to in order to fund his brain operationa couple of months ago.

Peter Odemwingie Has Lost His Damn Mind!

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By Chris Wright

Man yellsat cloud!

It would appear that Peter Odemwingie has surrendered control of his senses, at least if his two most recent Tweets are anything to go by...

The draw against Iran was the foreset origo that cause some crinkum crankum to be directed at us that was caught in the Bermuda Triangle

— Peter Odemwingie (@OdemwingieP) June 23, 2014

The state of OGaM ogam was rejected by the eagles with a higi haga style to avoid a calamitous end that brings odoriferous Saga

— Peter Odemwingie (@OdemwingieP) June 23, 2014

Anyone any the wiser?

Belgian Queen Congratulates Romelu Lukaku On Scoring Winning Goal Against Russia, Awkwardness Ensues… (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Well done both of you!

Slightly awkward scenes at the Royal reception for the Belgian national team yesterday when Queen Mathilde personally congratulated Romelu Lukaku for scoring the decisive winning goal against Russia the only problem being that Lukaku wasn't actually on the pitch at the time and that it was Divock Origi who actually poked the ball over the line.

Cheapo England Mugs Feature Truly Spectacular World Cup Merchandise FAIL (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

When it comes to cheap World Cup tat, England seem to do it better than most, with piles and piles of naff St. George-smattered merchandise being piled high and sold cheapfor weeks before any major tournament.

The quality control is usually fairly low on most of these aforementioned products, but a World Cup souvenir company have well and truly taken the spoils when it comes to the most spectacular merchandising cock-up of Brazil 2014.

Shit Lookalikes: Cameroon Coach Volker Finke & The Grinch

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By Chris Wright

Spot on, Herr Finke iseven the correct tinge...

Come to think of it, Volker doesn't look particularly healthy at all. There's a distinct air of the "Emperor Palpatine"about him.

Cracking spot from Pies fan Michael. Kudos, Sir.

World Cup Stat Of The Day: Holland To Play Without A ‘Van’ In Their Team For First Time In Almost 20 Years

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By Chris Wright

Holland's van will be parked for their game against Chile

Stat of the Day: Thanks to Robin van Persie picking up his second yellow card of the World Cup against Australia, Holland will take to the pitch against Chile in Sao Paulo tonight "Van-less" for the first time in almost two decades.

World Cup Vine: Thierry Henry’s Hypnotic Twitching Butterfly Lips

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By Chris Wright

AsGallic as astrike at a ferry terminal, here's Thierry Henry's mesmeric, hypnotic, strangely seductive facial expression when asked if he'd been training for the imminent start of the MLS season...

Va, va and indeed, voom.

World Cup Horror Hair: Argentinian Referee Nestor Pitana’s Abysmally Weedy Comb-Over

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By Chris Wright

Ladies and Gentlemen, the first (but surely not the last) Horror Hair inductee of the World Cup:Nestor Pitana, the Argentinian referee who's comb-over harks back to a simpler time; when the world was black and white and it was perfectly acceptable for balding men to havetheir pates look like something that was found smouldering in the rubble after an explosion at a taxidermists.

Steven Gerrard Tells Harry Redknapp To Name And Shame Tottenham Players Who Supposedly Shirked England Duty

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By Chris Wright

"I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you"

Once again, Harry Redknapp has crow-barred his way into the England story by claiming yesterday that, while he was manager at Tottenham, several of his players would actively and routinely seek to get out of England call-ups.

Shit World Cup Ink: Giddy Dutch Fan Gets Awful Tattoos Of Van Persie And Van Gaal (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In a fit of piqued nationalistic pride following Der Oranje's blockbusting 5-1 win over Spain to kick-off their World Cup campaign, this Dutch fan went ahead and had a massive wobbly tattoo of Louis van Gaal and Robin van Persie forever scrawked into his back flesh.

World Cup GIF: Clint Dempsey Scores With His Yankee Doodle Against Portugal

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By Chris Wright

Team USAcame a cropper against Portugal last night, snatching a draw from the jaws of defeat when substitute Varela popped up to nod in a heart-breaking equaliser in the 95th minute.

Shortly before then, Clint Dempsey had put the Yanks 2-1 ahead with an unorthodox technique we hadn't seen since Chicharito thwarted Honduras with his love spuds a couple of years back.

‘Throw Pele At Me!’ – Legendary Argentinian Commentator Goes Apoplectic After Lionel Messi’s Winner Against Iran (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Alejandro Fantino is legendary down Argentina way for providing artery-poppingly passionate football commentary, especially when it comes to his beloved national team.

Proof, as if any were needed, came after Lionel Messi scored Argentina's injury-time winner against Iran yesterday, with Fantino exploding into a passionate, emotional, very much nonsensical rant live on air a rant hewn from pure gold!

Rock Stars Eto’o, Yoshida, Hulk And….Gary Cahill Perform ‘Paradise City’ By Guns N’ Roses (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Four more unlikely band-matesyou probably couldn't wish to assemble, but here's Samuel Eto'o, Gary Cahill, Hulk and Southampton centre-half Maya Yoshida taking to the stage to perform 'Paradise City' by Guns n' Roses at the behest of Budweiser...

If ever o' ever a footballer screamed "rock and roll excess", it's Gary James Cahill.

Sulley Muntari Wanders Streets Of Brazilian City Giving Money to Random People (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Having received special permission from Ghana coachKwesi Appiah to do so, Sulley Muntari spent an afternoon earlier in the week wandering around one of the poorest neighbourhoods in the Brazilian city ofMaceio, handing out money to random people in the streets.

World Cup: Nigeria 1-0 Bosnia-Herzegovina – Super Eagles Soar As Bosnians Bow Out Of Brazil (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Nigeria 1-0 Bosnia-Herzegovina World Cup Group F 21th June 2014

Bosnia-Herzegovina's hopes of making it to the knockout stages were dashed on Saturday night by a much-improved Nigeria side. The Africans' pace caused Bosnia all sorts of problems withEmmanuel Emenike outstanding throughout.

All Of Ronaldo And Miroslav Klose’s 30 World Cup Goals In Space Of Five Minutes (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Does exactly what it says on the tin, this one...

They may well be equal first in terms of total goals but, unless Miroslav Klose nabs number 16, Ronaldo will always be top of the list as far as we're concerned much more diversity and a zillion times more entertaining to watch.

Cesc Fabregas Jettisoned From Spain Training By Vicente Del Bosque Over Stroppy Attitude (Video)

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By Chris Wright

There had been rumblings in the press and now footage has emerged appearing to show Cesc Fabregas being expelled from a Spain training session by coachVicente Del Bosque yesterday afternoon.

Apparently Del Bosque was unimpressed by Fabregas' ambivalent attitude during the session, first stripping him of his bib (indicating he was in the starting XI to play against Australia tomorrow) and giving it to Xabi Alonso beforetelling Chelsea's new signing to take a hike.

Diego Maradona Branded ‘Bad Luck Jinx’ By Argentinian FA President After Leaving Stadium Minutes Before Lionel Messi’s Goal

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By Chris Wright

The president of the Argentinian football federation has taken his life in his hands by calling Diego Maradona a "jinx" following Argentina's dramatic late win over Iran in Belo Horizonte yesterday.

Having watched the majority of the game with his family, Maradona left theEstadio Mineirao before the final whistle -just shortly before Lionel Messi popped up to score the 91st-minute winner.

‘Willkommen Im Klub’ – Ronaldo Officially Welcomes Miroslav Klose To The ‘Fifteen’ Club

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By Chris Wright

After scoring his 15th World Cup goal against Ghana last night, Germany striker Miroslav Klose found himself officially welcomed into the '15 Club' by its only other member...

Bem-vindo ao clube #klose imagino a tua felicidade!

World Cup Snapshot: Boateng Brothers Go Head To Head In Germany Vs Ghana Clash

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By Alan Duffy

For the second time in four years, the Boateng half- brothers faced each other in the World Cup, this time in Saturday night's clash between Germany and Ghana in Fortaleza.

Both Berlin-bornwith a Ghanaian father and German mothers, Kevin-Prince ultimately chose to represent his old man's nation, despite having played at all levels for Germany up to U21.

World Cup Vine: Germany’s Manuel Neuer Gets All ‘Harlem Globetrotters’ With Ball-Handling Howler

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By Alan Duffy

With the scores at 2-2, this error by German glovesman Manuel Neuer could have proved costly against Ghana. However, luckily for the Bayern man he was able to recover the situation and boot the ball upfield. Shades of the Harlem Globetrotters there!

(Vine: @MostarLFC)

World Cup: Germany 2-2 Ghana – Klose Goes On Record As Black Stars Shine In Classic Encounter (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Germany 2-2 Ghana World Cup Group G 21th June 2014

After a rather subdued first half to this Group G clash inFortaleza, the game sprung to life in the second period with both sides going for the win. Bayern attacker Mario Goetze opened the scoring courtesy of a dodgy header which hit his knee and went in but the Black Stars were soon on level terms Andre Ayew headed home the equaliser as the game opened up.

World Cup: Argentina 1-0 Iran – Messi The Hero As Iran Push Albiceleste All The Way (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Argentina 1-0 Iran World Cup Group G 21th June 2014

Once again Lionel Messi delivered the goods when Argentina really needed it, firing home a superb effort after La Albiceleste were pushed all the way by Iran.

Indeed, Carlos Quiroz's side were unlucky not to get a penalty when Pablo Zabaleta challengedAshkan Dejagah in the box while Charlton'sReza Ghoochannejhad and Dejagah both wentclose on a couple of occasions.

World Cup Snapshot: Miroslav Klose Equals Ronaldo’s Record World Cup Goal Tally…

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By Chris Wright

A gentlemanly doff of the cap is definitely due to veteran Germany striker Miroslav Klose who came on and scored his 15th World Cup goal to equalise against Ghana tonight, thus equalling Ronaldo's all-time tournament goal record.

That said, he almost binned his somersault celebration but he's 36 so we'll forgive him.

World Cup GIF: Lionel Messi Pops Up With Precious Injury-Time Winner To Break Iranian Hearts

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By Chris Wright

With the first 90 minutes of the game passing without a goal going in, it looked for all the world like Iran were going to hold on for a spirited draw (if not pip it themselves) but where there's a Messi, there's usually a way and so it proved, as Argentina's little totemnipped inside and curled a perfect shot past Iranian 'keeperAlireza Haghighi to win in with seconds remaining.

World Cup: Honduras 1-2 Ecuador – Costly Goal Not Enough For Los Catrachos As Valencia Bags Brace (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Honduras 1-2 Ecuador World Cup Group E 20th June 2014

A brace from Enner Valencia was enough for Ecuador to overcame a hard-working Honduran side on Friday.

The fabulously-named Carlos Costly opened the scoring for Honduras on the half-hour mark, lashing home after a long-ball.

World Cup: Switzerland 2-5 France – Les Bleus Serious Contenders After Swiss Rout (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Switzerland 2-5 France World Cup Group E 20th June 2014

France produced a stunning performance against a disappointing Swiss side on Friday, with Les Bleus looking like serious contenders for the title.

Olivier Giroud netted a superb header to open the scoring early doors while the loss of centre-halfSteve Von Bergen after an accidental kick in the face from the Arsenal striker was a blow to the Swiss.

World Cup Snapshot: Jurgen Klinsmann Photobombed By A Flying Deuce…

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By Chris Wright

In which US coach Jurgen Klinsmann attempts to have a simple photo taken with some local law enforcement representatives, only to be photobombed by a flying Deuce...

Highlight from this morning: @clint_dempsey #PhotoBomb duing @J_Klinsmann photo with local police!

World Cup Mascot Fuleco The Armadillo Caught Dirty Dancing On Stage With Ladies (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Now, we're not prudish by any stretch of the imagination here on Pies, but we can't help but think that this perhaps wasn't quite the wholesome, cutesy image the Brazil 2014 organisers were aiming at when they drafted upFuleco the eco-friendly armadillo as their official World Cup mascot.

World Cup: Untimely Final Whistle Robs Karim Benzema Of Superb Sixth Goal vs Switzerland (Video & GIF)

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By Chris Wright

Robbed by an over-zealousfinal whistle, Karim Benzema saw a bloomin' superb sixth goal for France chalked off as the clock ticked over into the 94th minute of Les Bleu's 5-2 victory over Switzerland...

World Cup Live

Here's the GIF version...

Lionel Messi And Sergio Aguero Dabble In A Spot Of Light Juggling (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Here's Argentina duo Lionel Messi and Sergio Aguero limbering up for their game against Iran today with a spot of light juggling during a training session.

Oh yeah, and they're doing it over a fence and up a flight of stairs...

Big bloody show-offs.

‘How Many European Cups Have You Won?’ – Martin O’Neill Gently Destroys Chiles, Vieira And Cannavaro (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Highlight of last night's punditry: ITV studio guest Martin O'Neill using his disarmingly soft Northern Irish burr to gently destroy the rest of the panel after taking umbrage at a typically clumsy question from Adrian Chiles...

Ouch.

World Cup: Untimely Final Whistle Robs Karim Benzema Of Superb Sixth Goal vs Switzerland (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Robbed by an over-zealousfinal whistle, Karim Benzema saw a bloomin' superb sixth goal for France chalked off as the clock ticked over into the 94th minute of Les Bleu's 5-2 victory over Switzerland...

World Cup Live

Clive Thomas would be proud.

Let’s Hear It For…Costa Rica!

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By Chris Wright

Proving that there really is magic in them thar' World Cup waters, Costa Rica have made it through to the second round of the tournament for the first time in their historycourtesy of a frankly astounding 1-0 victory over Italy in Recife.

Following on from their opening 3-1 win over Uruguay, a fast, dedicated, passionate, energetic, disciplined performance against the overly-cocky and ordinary Azzuri saw Jorge Luis Pinto's boys snaffle a famous 1-0 over the former World champions,booking themselves a berth in the knock-out round and lumping England out of the World Cup to boot.

Brazilian Football Fan Helps Deaf-Blind Friend Experience ‘Watching’ World Cup Match For The First Time (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Thanks to the ingenuity and resourcefulness of a Brazilian sign language interpreter, a young football fan who was born deaf and blind was able to experience the thrill of "watching" a World Cup match for the first time.

Thankfully choosing Brazil-Croatia to test his new method rather than Nigeria-Iran, interpreter Helio Araujo Fonseca built a hand-made replica of a football pitch and used it to communicate with Carlos indicating where the players were on the pitch and using sign language to "commentate" on the game as it unfolded describing fouls, goals,players' numbers, etc.

Caption This: Wilfried Shows Us His ‘My Little Bony’…

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By Chris Wright

Pies says: "In an ode to Gazza's famous celebration at Euro '96, Wilfried Bony unveils the "Gynaecologist's Chair""

You say?

Brazilian Police To Investigate Fans With Wheelchairs Caught Standing Up At World Cup Matches

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By Chris Wright

Brazilian police are launching an investigation into ticket fraud at the World Cup after witnessing fans with wheelchairs and specific disabled accesstickets jumping up and down at several matches.

According to the Telegraph, police are scouring CCTV footage and social media for images ofsupposedly wheelchair-bound Brazil fans standing throughout the opening game between the hosts and Croatia in Sao Paulo.

‘We Never, Ever, EVER Learn!’ – Chris Waddle Hits The Nail On The Head with Passionate Rant After England Lose To Uruguay

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By Chris Wright

Speaking on BBC Radio Five Live after sitting through England's listless defeat against Uruguay last night, pundit Chris Waddle let slip the dogs of war and embarked on a wonderful rant about English football and the sorry state thereof...

Hear hear.

‘They Know Better Than To Give Suarez That Much Room!’ – Rihanna Puts Andy Townsend To Shame By Live-Tweeting England vs Uruguay

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By Chris Wright

Ms. Fenty knows her stuff

Having covered several matches so far, Rihanna has been live-Tweeting games throughout the World Cup and putting most of the proper paid pundits and experts to shame in the process with some astute insight.

You'll no doubt be glad to know that RiRi (as we believe the kids call her) was dispatched to cover England's game against Uruguay last night this is how she called it.

Sad England Fans And Their Big Sad Faces (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

This is what losing to Uruguay in the World Cup looks like...

Lol

(Photos: PA)

Arjen Robben: Football’s Fastest Pensioner – A Short Film By Tim Bradford (Video)

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By Chris Wright

After officially taking Theo Walcott's throne as the fastest player clocked at a World Cupwith a nifty 37 km/h sprint against Spain, Wobbly Films poobah Tim Bradford thought it high time to pay tribute to "football's fastest pensioner"...

World Cup GIF: Google’s Sweet Little ‘Eng vs Uru’ Doodle Featured Sturridge’s Dance And Suarez’s Wrist-Kiss

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By Chris Wright

All throughout the tournament, Google have been creating little World Cup-themed 'doodles' for their homepage and yesterday's was our favourite so far an EnglandvsUruguay-infused effort featuring Daniel Sturridge's increasingly annoying post-goal jigand Luis Suarez's wrist-kissing equivalent.

Joleon Lescott Joins West Brom On Two-Year Deal After Man City Contract Dwindles To Nowt (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

If you'll allow us to being you a sliver of slightly underwhelming domestic news amid the World Cup hubbub, it's been announced this morning that West Brom have secured the Bosman signing of defender Joleon Lescott, who reunites with Alan Irvine (his former coach at Everton) after five middling years at Man City.

Ivory Coast’s Serey Die Weeps During National Anthem After Father Dies Just 87,500 Hours Before Kick-Off

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By Chris Wright

Players weeping uncontrollably during their national anthems has become a bit of a 'thing' at this World Cup, with several emotional stars including Mr Neymar Jr welling up at the enormity of it all.

Ivory Coast midfielder Serey Die was the latest player to submit to his tear glands in the line-up before yesterday's game against Colombia tears which sparked a strange fibto spread through the murky world of social media, only to be picked up and ran by several major news sources.

Japan 0-0 Greece – 10-Man Greeks Make Their Point (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Japan 0-0 Greece World Cup Group C 19th June 2014

Neither of these sides have impressed in Brazil so far, with this poor quality goalless draw failing to provide much in the way of entertainment.

Greek captainKonstantinos Katsouranis saw red int he first half for two silly challenges but the Japanese struggled to break down their opponents for the rest of the game.

Uruguay Physio Walter Ferreira, 63, Halted His Own Cancer Treatment To Treat Luis Suarez’s Knee Injury

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By Chris Wright

Amid the tears of rage, you may have noticed that Luis Suarez reserved special thanks for a certain somebody while celebrating scoring his first goal against England last night, with the striker running straight over to the Uruguay bench to give one of the team's back-room staff members a very pronounced hug.

World Cup Snapshot: Joe Hart Attempts A Routine Goal-Kick

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By Chris Wright

"FNAARRG!!"

World Cup: Scottish Fan Enjoys England Defeat Amidst Uruguay Crowd (Photo & Vine)

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By Alan Duffy

In an act which will no doubt earn him hero status north of the border, this Scotland fan stood among the Uruguay contingent for the England game on Thursday evening and duly enjoyed the result! The photo above was Tweeted by none other than Republic of Ireland international James McClean.

Mario Balotelli Demands Kiss From Queen If Italy Beat Costa Rica

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By Alan Duffy

Never one to disappoint, Super Mario Balotelli was quick to Tweet the following soon after England's defeat against Uruguay. Cheeky boy! Although to be fair, if the Azzurri can beat both Costa Rica and Uruguay then surely theyshould throw in Prince Philip for a full-on no-holds-barred threesome?

Uruguay 2-1 England – Suarez Shows His Teeth As Three Lions Lose Again (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Uruguay 2-1 England World Cup Group D 19th June 2014

Fit and raring to go again, Luis Suarez bagged a superb brace to push England nearer the exit door in Group D. The Liverpool man opened the scoring just before the break, heading home from a clever Edinson Cavani cross.

World Cup Vine: Gervinho Jinks His Way To Goal For Ivory Coast Against Colombia

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By Alan Duffy

Winger Gervinho has kickstarted his career since leaving Arsenal, enjoying a superb campaign with Serie A runner's-up Roma and now starring for the Ivory Coast in Brazil. While his goal against Colombia (his second of the tournament) ultimately didn't affect the outcome of the game, it was still a superb solo effort, although maybe the Colombian 'keeper could have done better.

World Cup: Colombia 2-1 Ivory Coast – Los Cafeteros Dance Their Way To Cusp Of Last 16 (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Colombia 2-1 ivory Coast World Cup C 19th June 2014

Colombia all but booked their place in the last 16 after coming out on top in an entertaining clash with the Ivory Coast. After a tight first-half which saw Colombia on top, the opening goal eventually came just after the hour-mark, courtesy of James Rodriguez's header from a Juan Cuadrado corner.

Robbie Savage Made Powerful Orgasmic Noises After Tim Cahill Rattled Home His Volley Against Holland (Audio)

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By Chris Wright

Pull up a scatter cushion and just take a moment to marvel in the orgasmic noises emitted by BBC co-commentator Robbie Savage when Tim Cahill connected with his blunderbuss volley against the Dutch yesterday...

Savagemay be a tiresome wally most of the time, but there's littledoubt that the man loves what he does though maybe not quite as much as Gary Neville.

Shit Lookalikes: Iker Casillas & Milhouse Van Houten

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By Chris Wright

Poor Iker. It's recess everywhere but in his heart.

Got a World Cup Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email it over (waatpies@gmail.com) or Tweet it (@waatpies) and we'll be more than happy to give it the once-over.

World Cup GIF: Iker Casillas’ Dreadful World Cup Summed Up In Four Seconds

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By Chris Wright

If ever o' ever a four-second loop of film summed up one man's entire World Cup campaign...

Again, poorIker.

This Visualisation Of Global Twitter Activity During Spain vs Chile Game Is Beautifully Hypnotic (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Thanks to the good chaps over at Project Babb, we can bring you these wonderfully swishvisualisations of global Twitter activity during last night's game between Chile and Spain.

Using geo-tagged Tweets to map the intensity of Twitter use across the world during the match, they're beautifully hypnotic yet also make it look ever so slightly like a really pretty nuclear apocalypse has beset the Earth.

ITV World Cup Pundit Ian Wright Flies Home After Wife And Daughters Burgled At Knifepoint

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By Chris Wright

Horrible news this morning after it emerged that ITV pundit Ian Wright has been forced to fly home from Brazil this morning after hearing that his wife and children were burgled at knifepoint in their family home in north-west London last night.

According to the Mirror, four men armed with knives broke into the house by ringing the doorbell and then forcing their way past Wright's wife, Nancy, at about 9:20pm on Wednesday evening.

‘The End’ – MARCA’s Front Page Coverage Of Spain’s World Cup Exit Is Particularly Solemn (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Following in the wake of their almost funereal blacked-out front page after Spain's opening World Cup trouncing at the hands of Holland, today's MARCAcover is even more sombre Andres Iniesta cutting a lonely figure as the headline solemnly decrees:"THE END, the lamentable end tothe glorious period of La Roja".

The Scream Of Santiago: Chile’s Capital City Roars In Unison After Charles Aranguiz Scores Against Spain (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Dubbed "The Scream of Santiago", this is the almighty din that Chile's capital city produced when Charles Aranguizscored their national side'ssecondgoal against Spain in the Maracanalast night...

Suggested further viewing...

This Is What A Brazilian Neighbourhood Sounds Like When Brazil Score In The World Cup (Video)

Ex-Sevilla Pair Rakitic And Mbia Swap Shorts In Tunnel After Croatia-Cameroon Game

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By Chris Wright

Having both moved on after winning the Europa League together at Sevilla last season, Ivan Rakitic (now of Barcelona) and Stephane Mbia (who is still a QPR player by rights) left the pitch together after Croatia's 4-0 trouncing of Cameroon last night, and then proceeded to swap their grotty, sweat-infused shorts in the tunnel afterwards.

World Cup GIF: Cameroon’s Alex Song Sent Off For Ludicrous Elbow On Mario Mandzukic

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By Chris Wright

With Cameroon a goal down against Croatia and rapidly losing their frail grasp on the game, Alex Song went and got himself sent-off for a swinging a frankly absurdelbow down the middle of Mario Mandzukic's back as he chased the striker towardthe half-way line.

World Cup Vine: Linesman Plays It Super Cool After Being Victim Of Pre-Match Handshake Snub

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By Chris Wright

In which one of the linesmen for last night's World Cup game between Spain and Chile makes a textbook "just rubbing my head" recovery after having a handshake snubbed in the tunnel before the game...

Iker feels your pain, buddy.

World Cup: Spain 0-2 Chile – End Of An Era As Champions Dumped Out By Chile (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Spain 0-2 Chile World Cup Group B 18th June 2014

Chile's deserved 2-0 win over regning champions Spain may well have signalled an end to the era of Spanish domination in world football with the Spaniards now out of World Cup 2014. Throughout the game, it was the South Americans who looked sharper and hungrier with their opponents looking heavy-legged and lost for ideas.

World Cup: Netherlands 3-2 Australia – Super Socceroos Push Dutch All The Way In Porto Alegre (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Netherlands 3-2 Australia World Cup Group B 18th June 2014

Louis Van Gaal's Dutch side were given a right shock by a hungry, attack-minded Australian side on Wednesday, with the Socceroos pushing the Netherlands all the way.

Arjen Robben opened the scoring on 20 minutes rather against the run of play after the underdogs had started the game superbly.

World Cup Snapshot: Adios Spain!

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By Chris Wright

We'll have more reaction up in due time, but Spain just done plum went and tiki-taka'ed their way out of the 2014 World Cup thus marking the first time Vicente Del Bosque's all-conquering side have been knocked out of a major tournament in EIGHT years...

Not to undersell Chile at all, who harrassed, harangued and cajoled their way to a effervescently dominant2-0 win over the reigning champs.

Accident Waiting To Happen: Footage Emerges Of Perilously Wobbly Staircase At The Maracana (Video)

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By Chris Wright

As released by the Associated Press, this 'ere footage shows a temporary scaffoldstaircase at the Maracana swaying perilously from side to side while fans make their way into the stadium...

If that's not a potentially fatal accident waiting to happen, then we don't know what is.

Celtic Issue Brilliant Response To Six-Year-Old Fan’s Application To Replace Neil Lennon As Manager

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By Chris Wright

Kudos are definitely due to Celtic after the club responded to a six-year-old fan's optimistic managerial vacancy application, officially thanking the youngsterfor showing an interest in the position.

Aiden Headridge, a schoolboy from from Dundee, sent a letter to Celtic chief executive Peter Lawwell asking to be considered as Neil Lennon's replacement at Celtic Park.

World Cup: Australia’s Tim Cahill Scores Stonking Wonder Volley To Equalise Against Holland (Vine & GIF)

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By Alan Duffy

Only 70 seconds after Arjen Robben had put the Netherlands ahead in Wednesday's early kick-off, Australia fought their way back level almost immediately courtesy of this cracker from former Everton midfielder Tim Cahill.

What a strike!

Here's the GIF version, just in case.

Brazil 0-0 Mexico – Hosts Lack Samba Magic As Ochoa Stars For El Tri (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Brazil 0-0 Mexico World Cup Group A 17th June 2014

Mexico goalkeeperGuillermo Ochoa produced an outstanding performance against Brazil on Tuesday as the hosts struggled against an impressive Mexican side.

Barcelona star Neymar had chances to win the game while Thiago Silva alos came close but on each occasion the hosts were thwarted by the superb Ochoa.

Robin Van Persie’s 93-Year-Old Granddad Posts Photo Of Himself ‘#Persieing’, Wins The Internet Forever!

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By Chris Wright

You may remember a couple of days ago we alerted you to the social media hashtag crazeof "persieing" which has swept across the Netherlands since Robin van Persie crash-landed after scoring his epic diving header against Spain well, we have a winner!

Ravel Morrison Posts, Then Immediately Deletes, Photo Of Himself Smoking Something Iffy During England Game (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Posted to his Instagram account and then deleted within a matter of minutes yesterday, perennial ne'er-do-well Ravel Morrison thought it would be a good idea to publicly advertise the fact that he chuffed away on a big fat blunt or a cigar or something equally detrimental to his health during England's game against Italy onSaturday evening.

Football Art: Pizza Express Recreate Iconic World Cup Scenes Using Nothing But Pizza! (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

A doff of the cap must be offered to Pizza Express, who have (quite literally) cooked up the kind ofWorld Cup PR stunt that we're willing to throw our considerable weight behind!

We ask you: what's not to like about iconic World Cup images being recreated using nothing but a thin crust base and a handful of choice toppings?

Phil Neville Commentates On Game Of Thrones (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Admittedly, we know nothing of this "Game of Thrones" of which you speak, so we're not entirely certain if this is amusingor not.

Hey ho. We thought we'd share it anyway because Game of Thrones = hitzzzz...

(Video: Michael Spicer)

The Great World Cup Goals, #28: Zbigniew Boniek (Poland) vs Belgium, 1982 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

As if to counteract his trickyfirst name, silky former Poland and Juventus midfielder Zbigniew Boniek was also possessive of one of football's most poetic nicknames, Bello di Notte(Beauty at Night), which was bestowed upon him by former Juve director Gianni Agnelli on the back of a series of sublime performances in European fixtures underneath the old Delle Alpi floodlights.

World Cup Vines: Belgium’s Dries Mertens Shaves Off Dad’s Moustache After Winning World Cup Bet

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By Chris Wright

What with a bet being a bet and all, Belgium forward Dries Mertens had the honour ofshaving off his Dad's moustache after scoring a goal at the World Cup.

After netting the winner for Belgium against Iran yesterday, Mertens returned to his hotel, clippers in hand, and proceeded to de-forest his old man's top lip filming the whole thing for posterity's sake before chucking it up on Instagram.

The Memes Fly After Mexico Keeper Guillermo Ochoa Puts In Terrific ‘None Shall Pass’ Performance Against Brazil

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By Chris Wright

Safe to say that Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa's outstanding "none shall pass" performance against Brazil lit a fire under the internet last night, with jubilant memes flying around left, right and centre as the free-agent 'keeper put in one hell of a shift and did his chances of finding a job next season no harm at all.

World Cup GIF: Russia Keeper Igor Akinfeev Drops Hefty Clanger vs South Korea

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By Chris Wright

Russia and South Korea duked out a fairly tepid 1-1 draw in the last of the first phase of World Cup group games inCuiaba last night, withAleksandr Kerzhakov popping up in the 78th minute to salvage a point for Fabio Capello's side (and becoming Russia's all-time top goalscorer on 26 goals in the process) after seeing his goalkeeper, Igor Akinfeev, drop an absolute clanger about ten minutes previous.

World Cup Snapshot: Lionel Messi Tracks Down The Mascot He Left Hanging For A Special Photograph…

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By Chris Wright

Overcome with guilt after callously leaving a World Cup mascot hanging in the tunnel before Argentina's game against Bosnia & Herzegovina the other day, Lionel Messi tracked down the little chap in order to make things right with an even better personal memento.

Premier League Fixtures For 2014/15 Announced – Man City Begin Title Defence At Newcastle, Van Gaal Starts With Swansea Tie

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By Chris Wright

The fixture list for the 2014/15 Premier League season was announced this morning, with Manchester City beginning their title defence at Newcastle while Louis van Gaal will start life at Manchester United with a home game against Swansea.

Promoted trio Leicester City, Burnley and QPR get off the mark against Everton, Chelsea and Hull City respectively.

It’s High Time We Introduced You To The World Cup’s Real Breakout Star: The ‘Waving Man’ Of Salvador (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Move over Neymar. Move overMehrdad Pooladi. It's about time we introduced you all to the real star of the 2014 World Cup so far...the 'waving man' of Salvador!

Almost every morning, before breakfast, the waving man a bit of a local celebrity by all accounts potters merrily down the sea-front in Salvador and enthusiastically waves and makes hugging gestures to thousands of passers-by, just to make them feel that little bit better about being alive.

World Cup: Ghana 1-2 USA – Match-Winner Brooks States His Case Against Black Stars (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Ghana 1-2 USA World Cup Group G 16th June 2014

John Brooks was the match-winner for the USA on Monday night, heading home a late winner to secure all three points for Jurgen Klinsmann's side against Ghana.

Clint Dempsey opened the scoring after just 29 seconds and after that the Black Stars pushed and pushed for an equaliser, peppering Tim Howard's goals with often wayward efforts.

World Cup: Iran 0-0 Nigeria – Super Eagles Lack Cutting Edge Against Disciplined Iran (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Iran 0-0 Nigeria World Cup Group F 16th June 2014

The first really dour game of the 2014 World Cup had to come sometime and this clash certainly failed to spark into life. Nigeria had most of the ball but lacked a real cutting edge against an Iran side who were well-drilled by boss Carlos Quiroz.

Radiator Salesman From Suffolk Bombarded With Abuse Intended For ‘Boring’ BBC Pundit Namesake

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By Chris Wright

Phil Neville, not to be confused with Phil Neville

Thanks to the internet being largely populated by dimwitted morons, a60-year-old radiator salesman from Suffolk found himself bombarded with vicious abuse over the weekend from World Cup fans up in arms with his boring commentaryduring England's game against Italy.

Mario Balotelli Completes His Panini World Cup Sticker Album In The Most Mario Balotelli Way Possible (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

There, sorted...

(Photo: Mario Balotelli/Facebook)

Horror Hair: England Fan Has Impressively Accurate Image Of Steven Gerrard’s Face Shaved Into The Back Of His Head…

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By Chris Wright

Upset at the levels of stick his punters were giving the England team after Saturday night's performance against Italy, Bognor Regis-based taxi driver Kai Ward decided to show his support by having an impressive yet ever-so-slightly terrifying image of Steven Gerrard's face shaved and dyed into the back of his head.

American Pub Heavily Criticised For Opening Favela-Themed World Cup Beer Garden

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By Chris Wright

The owners of apub in Milwaukee have come in for a bout ofheavy criticism after opening a Brazilian favela-themed beer garden especially for the World Cup.

The Nomad World Pub is a well-known hub for Milwaukee football fans and decided to attract customers during the tournament by constructing a replica of a colourful Brazilian slum referred to as the "Nomad World Cup Shanty Town" on their website in their adjacentcar park.

World Cup Vine: Rio Ferdinand Provides Most Dynamic Piece Of World Cup Punditry So Far…

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By Chris Wright

Having spent ten or so minute desperately trying to conjure up something nice to say about Nigeria's stupefyingly dullgame against Iran yesterday, BBC pundit Rio Ferdinand was freshout of flying f**ksto give by the time Gary Lineker got round to probing him on the game's non-existent chances.

World Cup: Germany 4-0 Portugal: Ronaldo & Co. Müllered By Mannschaft (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Germany 4-0 Portugal World Cup Group G 17th June 2014

Jogi Loew's much-fancied German side strolled to a thumping 4-0 win against Portugal on Monday as once again the Portuguese were let down by poor discipline.

Germany, with ThomasMüller, Mesut Ozil and Mario Goetze all combining superbly up front, went ahead after the latter was felled in the box.

Ronald Koeman Officially Appointed As New Southampton Manager

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By Chris Wright

The man they used to call has just "The Orange Bear", former Holland and Barcelona defender Ronald Koeman, has officially been appointed as Southampton's new manager, replacing Mauricio Pochettino, who left to take over at Tottenham several weeks ago.

However, don't just take our word for it.

Gary Lineker Owns BBC Stablemate Robbie Savage With Truly Brutal Twitter Wake-Up Call (Tweet)

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By Chris Wright

Smooth work from Match of the Day's velvet owl, who has just hitfellow BBC pundit Robbie Savage (low-hanging fruit, we know) with a gloriouslyviciousTwitter wake-up call...

Morning @RobbieSavage8 great to have you in the studio with the guys.

Japan Fans Stop Behind To Help Tidy Up Their Section Of The Stadium After Ivory Coast Defeat

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By Chris Wright

Whether simply cleanly or borderline-obsessive, hundreds of Japanese fans stayed behind their side's 2-1 defeat to the Ivory Coast on Saturday night to help tidy up their sections of thePermanbuco Stadium in Recife.

According to Brazilian news reports, droves of Japan fans walked up and down the stadium rows and concourse in order to pick up rubbish and detritus left underneath seats during the course of the game.

Robin Van Persie’s Amazing Goal Against Spain Given ‘Animated Flip-Book’ Treatment (Video & GIF)

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By Chris Wright

You know you've only really made it when somebody out there goes to an extraordinary amount of trouble to immortalise your footballing finesse in the form of an animated flip-book.

RVP:welcome to the club...

Here be the GIF...

Cracking, and doubly nice that the little high-five with Louis van Gaal made it in there too!

Joe Hart Really, Really Wants The F**king Ball! (Video)

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By Chris Wright

(Via Reddit)

Football Art: Cheapskate Panini Sticker Fans Draw Their Own World Cup Stickers (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

We've all been their. Blitzing through your pocket money week after week in the desperate attempt to complete yourfootball stick book, only to give up weeks later with five or six elusive stickers (Darren f**king Caskey, from hell's heart I stab at thee!) proving elusive.

Phil Neville Harshly Mocked For Dreary BBC Co-Commentary Stint – Was He Really That Bad?

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By Chris Wright

With reports today that he might be prematurely dropped from the BBC roster despite being scheduled to provide co-commentary for the BBC's highlights of both ofEngland's remaining group games we feel we must ask: was Phil Neville's punditryreally that bad duringEngland's opening World Cup gameagainst Italy on Saturday night?

Grouchy Spain Fan Wins Himself €100,000 In Free Petrol After Betting They’d Lose 5-1 To Holland

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By Chris Wright

While the rest of the nation slipped into a collective catatonic funk, one particularly grouchy Spain fan found himself much, muchbetter off after his country's dismal 5-1 defeat at the hands of Holland on Friday evening.

According to MARCA,the fan in question,Jacobo Rios-Capape, a 56-year-old architect from Valencia, entered a World Cup scoreline prediction competition run bySpanish petrolcompany Cespa several weeks ago, pessimistically guessing that his country would lose by five goals to one against the Dutch after filling up his motorbike at a petrol station.

Snapshot: Robin Van Persie’s Ungainly Crash Landing After Spain Goal Inspires New Social Media Craze Of ‘#Persieing’

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By Chris Wright

He may well have justscored a stone-cold corker of a diving header against Spain, but Robin van Persie's less than graceful landing after nodding over Iker Casillas has spawned the latest and greatest internet pose-based meme since "owling" fittingly referred to by scholars as "#Persieing".

World Cup Vine: Lionel Messi Totally Ignores Handshake Request From Tiny Child

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By Chris Wright

Lionel Messi, eh? What a friggin' bastard...

Croatia Refuse To Talk To World Cup Media After Photos Of Players Swimming Naked Published Online

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By Chris Wright

Croatia coach Niko Kovac has announced that he and his players are to shun their World Cup media obligations after photos of members of his squad skinny-dipping in their hotel pool were published yesterday.

Two photographers reportedly hid in bushes near the hotel inPraia do Forte and snapped Dejan Lovren and Vedran Corluka swimming naked, with the (mercifully pixelated) pictures later appearing online.

World Cup: Argentina 2-1 Bosnia-Herzegovina – Messi Magic Seals Hard-Fought Win At Maracana (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Argentina 2-1 Bosnia Herzegovina World Cup Group F 15th June 2014

Argentina secured a hard-fought win in their Group F opener after being pushed all the way by an impressive Bosnian side. The Balkan team, playing in their first major finals, suffered a nightmare start when defenderSead Kolasinac put through his own net after just three minutes of action.

Football Vine: Argentina Defender Marcos Rojo Pulls Off Cheeky Rabona Clearance In Own Box

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By Alan Duffy

"Get rid, son...."

Marcus Rojo's cheeky rabona clearance in the Argentina box during the game against Bosnia Herzegovina was the kind of decision which would have the likes of Sam Allardycepulling their hair out. Still, feck playing it safe, the audacity of it all should be applauded.

World Cup: France 3-0 Honduras – Benzema Bags Brace As Les Bleus Survive Kicking (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

France 3-0 Honduras World Cup Group E 15th June 2014

Karim Benzema netted a brace and had a big hand in another as France strolled to a comfortable 3-0 win against Honduras. However, despite the scoreline, Les Bleus had to endure some rather agricultural challenges from a Honduran side famed for their physical approach.

Football Vines: BBC Commentator Jonathan Pearce Baffled By Logical Goal-Line Technology Decision

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By Alan Duffy

"These cows are small, Jonathan. The other cows are far away."

Poor old Jonathan Pearce, the BBC commentator got himself into quite the muddle when covering France's 3-0 win against Honduras on Sunday evening. Following Karim Benzema's strike on 72 minutes, the officials, for the first time in World Cup history, used the goal-line technology provided for the competition.

World Cup: Switzerland 2-1 Ecuador – Subs Steer Swiss To Victory Against La Tri (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Switzerland 2-1 Ecuador World Cup Group E 15th June 2014

Switzerland came from a goal down to secure an opening win against Ecuador on Sunday. The South Americans opened the scoring whenEnner Valencia headed home on 22 minutes and it was a deserved lead for Ecuador, with the Swiss struggling to threaten their opponents' goal.

World Cup: Ivory Coast 2-1 Japan – Elephants Secure Comeback Win In Recife (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Ivory Coast 2-1 Japan World Cup Group C 15th June 2014

Ivory Coast came from a goal down to secure an opening game victory against a decent Japanese side. Milan playmakerKeisuke Honda opened the scoring on 16 minutes courtesy of a cracking striker but the game changed on the introduction of Didier Drogba at half-time.

World Cup: England 1-2 Italy – Impressive Three Lions Undone By Classy Azzurri (Photo & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

England 1-2 Italy World Cup Group D 14th June 2014

England produced one of their most vibrant, attacking performances in years in the heat of Manaus on Saturday night, but ultimately it was the well-organised and clever Azzurri who took all three points.

FIFA Investigate France’s Claims That Drone Plane ‘Spied’ On Their World Cup Training Session

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By Chris Wright

FIFA have agreed to investigate claims made by France that one of their recent World Cup training sessions was spied on from afar by a drone plane.

France coach Didier Deschamps has alleged that the drone hoveredover his team's training session at their World Cup base atRibeirão Preto as Les Bleusprepared for Sunday's match against Honduras.

England Physio Gary Lewin Suffers Dislocated Ankle While Celebrating Daniel Sturridge’s Goal Against Italy

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By Chris Wright

England team physio Gary Lewin spentlast night in hospital after suffering a freak injury on the touchline during England's 2-1 defeat against Italy in Manaus.

Seconds after Daniel Sturridge scored to cancel out Claudio Marchisio's opener, the celebrations turned to murmurs of concern as England's medical team swarmed around a prostrate figure at the mouth of the dugout.

World Cup GIF: Take A Moment To Marvel At The Movement Of Andrea Pirlo’s Crossbar-Rattling Freekick

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By Chris Wright

A little bit of swerve, a pinch of yaw, a bouquet garniof knuckle and a soupçon of pitch asThierry Henry put it: "Pirlo is that good, I think he meant to hit the crossbar"...

Football Vine: Wayne Rooney Takes Woeful Corner Against Italy

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By Alan Duffy

He may have set up Daniel Sturridge's goal for England on Saturday night but big-boned attacker Wayne Rooney was some way off his best form against the Azzurri. Oh, and he did this...

It was almost as bad as this beauty from Liverpool's Iago Aspas last season.

Uruguay 1-3 Costa Rica – Livewire Campbell Puts La Celeste In The Soup (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Uruguay 1-3 Costa Rica World Cup Group C 14th June 2014

Following the Netherlands's hammering of Spain on Friday, Costa Rica produced the second big shock of the tournament on Saturday by beating Uruguay 3-1.

La Celestemay have been without the injured Luis Suarez but they still boasted a formidable forward line with Edinson Cavani and 2010′s player of the tournament Diego Forlan.

World Cup: Colombia 3-0 Greece – Los Cafeteros Find Right Blend Against Flat Greeks (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Colombia 3-0 Greece World Cup Group C 14th June 2014

Colombia produced a vibrant attacking display against Greece on Saturday, with the South Americans deservedly running out 3-1 winners. With Juan Cuadrado, James Rodriguez and Victor Ibarbo pulling the strings behind Teofilo Gutierrez, the Greeks struggled to match their opponents' energy and creativity.

BT Sport Buffoon Jake Humphrey Pompously Recalls Magical Meeting With Roy Hodgson

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By Alan Duffy

A pensive, and massively smug, Jakemeister ponders his wonderful life

There are many TV presenters out there currently vying for the position as the new Alan Partridge and BT Sport's heavy-browed presenter jack Humphrey is high on the list. His blog is usually a stream of self-important waffle, faux-casual name-dropping and inanities about his children.

World Cup: Chile 3-1 Australia – La Roja Battle To Silence Socceroos (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Chile 3-1 Australia World Cup Group B 14th June 2014

Chile secured a precious opening game win on Friday night courtesy of a hard-fought 3-1 win against Australia. Barcelona forward Alexis Sanchez was the star of the show for the South Americans.

World Cup: Spain 1-5 Netherlands – Holders Battered By Sweet Oranje (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Spain 1-5 Netherlands World Cup Group B 13th June 2014

Nobody expected this repeat of the 2010 final to turn out as it did. And, with Spain taking the lead on 27 minutes, courtesy of a Xabi Alonso spot-kick, the game looked to be going according to plan.

World Cup GIF: Referee Angers Bruno Martins Indi With Slapdash Free-Kick Spray Application

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By Chris Wright

Remember kids: Free-kick foam is all fun and games, until someone gets hurt or, more accurately, until someone has their shiny new boots besmirched...

Lawro's "grumpy old git" brand of cynicalsarcasm was just starting to wither at this point, but we must admit that his"my leopard skins, you'veruined them!

Today’s Blacked-Out MARCA Front Page Really Is A Miserable Affair (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Almost entirely black. Somber. Almost funereal. Here's the front page of today's MARCA, which comes bearing a simple and straightforward message: FIX THIS...

Message received.

(Image via Mail)

France Quite Literally Roll Out Unorthodox New Training Drill (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In what looks like total over-compensation for the way their last World Cup panned out, France pair Momo Sakho and Rio Mavuba have devised an unorthodox new training drill to demonstrate just how close their squad is these days...

O...kay?

World Cup: Mexico 1-0 Cameroon – El Tri Too Good For Toothless Indomitable Lions (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Mexico 1-0 Cameroon World Cup Group A 13th June 2014

Despite having two perfectly good goals (both scored by ex-Spurs manGiovani Dos Santos), Mexico eventually overcame a defensive Cameroon side to take all three points in Natal.

Playing in torrential rain, Cameroon struggled ot create much going forward, although Samuel Eto'o did hit the post.

This Is What A Brazilian Neighbourhood Sounds Like When Brazil Score In The World Cup (Video)

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By Chris Wright

As the accompanying caption reads:"This is in Moema, Sao Paulo. Opening game Brasil x Croatia and no, those are not gunshots. It's just regular Brazilian fireworks!"

(Video: Claus Wahlers)

Football GIF: Robin Van Persie Scores Absolutely Spectacular Diving Header As Holland Humiliate Spain

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By Chris Wright

Spain 1-5 Holland. We can honestly say we didn't see that coming!

While we're on the subject, we've said it before and we'll doubtless say it again, but there is no player with better finishing technique in world football than Robin van Persie.

Even Google Can’t Be Bothered To Spell Out Cesar Azpilicueta’s Full Name Now

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By Chris Wright

As spotted by the Independent, it would appear that even Google can't be bothered with attempting to correctly pronounce Cesar Azpilicueta's full name any more at least if their World Cup teamline-upwidget is anything to go by...

Come on guys, even we think that's a bit on the lazy side!

Goldie Lookin’ Chain’s Unofficial World Cup Song Is An Anti-Andy Townsend Rap (Video)

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By Chris Wright

GLC's unofficial World Cup song is an anti-Andy Townsend rap, and we're okay with that...

Suggested further viewing...

Shit Kits: When Goldie Lookin' Chain Sponsored Newport County AFC, 04/05
Top 10 Memorable Andy Townsend Co-Commentary Quotes
15 Downright Detestable Football Punditry Cliches

David Bentley: A Career Remembered

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By Chris Wright

If you haven't already heard and you may want to strategically position yourselves over your antique Victorian fainting couches for this ex-Blackburn, Tottenham, Birmingham, West Ham and FC Rostrov midfielder David Bentley has retired from football todayat the grand old age of 29 having failed to start more than 11 games in any seasonsince he turned 23.

The Great World Cup Goals, #27: Jared Borgetti (Mexico) vs Italy, 2002 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Several years before he turned up at Bolton and proceeded to stink the Reebok out (leaving after one season with two league goals to his name), Jared Borgetti temporarily suspended the laws of physics to score a sublime rubber-necked header against Italy in the first round of the 2002 World Cup in South Korea and Japan.

Snapshot: Union Berlin’s Stadium Converted Into Giant Living Room With 780 Sofas For Fans To Watch World Cup…

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By Chris Wright

As an altogether more homely spin on the "fan park" idea, the home stadiumof German second tier side1. FC Union Berlin has been converted into one big living room ahead of the World Cup, with fans able to watch games from one of 780 sofas.

The flock wallpaper is also a nice touch.

ITV World Cup Studio Pelted With Rocks Throughout Opening Game, Adrian Chiles Punchlines Write Themselves

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By Chris Wright

Now there's only so much stuttering Chileswaffle™ we can take, but it seems that the people of Brazil have even lower thresholds than Pies as the ITV studio above Copacabana beach was mercilessly pelted throughout last night's broadcast once night had fallen in Rio as disgruntled locals hurled bricks, stones and bottles at Adrian and his pundits perhaps in a desperate attempt to root out Andy Townsend and squirt expanding foam filler down his gullet.

World Cup FAIL: Opening Ceremony Accidentally Features Niger Flag Instead Of Nigeria (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

As we pithily noted last night, the World Cup opening ceremony sounded an awful lot like a shopping trolley falling down an endless flight of concrete stairs due to the risible sound quality though even the hissy sound quality and dodgy mics saved us from having to sit through Jennifer Lopez,Pitbull and that other woman's official dirge, so at least it served some purpose.

London Underground Give Commuters World Cup Score Updates (Photo)

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By Alan Duffy

Quite a decent thing for London Underground to do during the World Cup this, they have decided to post World Cup results on their information boards this summer. However,could be a pain if you don't want to know the score so you can watch the highlights!

Watch these signs get smashed after England are knocked out!

Brazil 3-1 Croatia – Oscar Stars But Hosts Get Official Helping Hand To Secure Winning Start (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Brazil 3-1 Croatia World Cup Group A 12th June 2014

Brazil secured a winning start to the 2014 World Cup finals but their win was anything but easy. Croatia, with a rather creative midfield trio of Mateo Kovacic, Luka Modric and Ivan Rakitic, made things difficult for the hosts and eventually opened the scoring themselves, after the impressiveIvica Olic saw his centre deflected into the Brazil net by Marcelo.

FIFA Unveil Ridiculously Oversized Injury Time Board For World Cup Opener

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By Alan Duffy

Waving around a massive timepiece even Flava Flav would be proud of, the official at the opening game of the 2014 World Cup must have sore arms. Well done Hublot for getting the powers that be to accept the huge advertising placard. It's massive!!!

Photo: @rob_stubbs

Snapshot: Cesc Fabregas Signs For Chelsea (Official)

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By Chris Wright

Well, well. It's official...

Cesc has signed a massive five-year contract at Stamford Bridge and, as you mave have guessed, will wear the no.4 shirt.

Nemanja Matic and Fabregas sitting behind Eden Hazard, Willian, Oscar and, if everything goes to plan, Diego Costa?

Retro Football: Aston Villa’s 95/96 Squad Name Their Favourite Drinks In Riveting Club Video

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By Alan Duffy

What a riveting video this is. Aston Villa's players awkwardly name their favourite tipple, with Ribena apparently a big favourite. Although I find it hard to believe that Mark Bosnich really like the blackcurrant classic over the harder stuff, unless of course he means when it was laced with high-grade cocaine.

Lionel Messi Can’t Help But Giggle After Ronaldinho Lookalike Interrupts Argentina Training Session (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In which little Lionel Messi can't help but have a giggle to himself when a chap who shares 99.99999% of his DNA with Ronaldinho runs onto the pitch during Argentina's training session in Belo Horizonte yesterday evening...

Spooky!

World Cup Pundits Take Note – Goal.Com Produce Interactive Guide On How To Pronounce Every Player’s Name

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By Alan Duffy

What a clever feature this is, produced by Goal.com's Dutch team. It's pretty self-explanatory really. Just click on the player to hear how his name should be pronounced.

The overall text is in Dutch but for us non-Dutch speakers, it's still simple and incredibly handy.

Pies’ Top 5 Hilarious Roy Hodgson World Cup Vines

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By Chris Wright

Roy Hodgson: Vine was made for the man. Here's a little compendium of our favourites to have emerged during the run-up to the World Cup...

5. Papa Smurf

Blue is the colour...

4. Eye of the Tiger

We keep expecting his bra to ping off laBarbara Windsor in "Carry On Camping".

Richard Keys Produces Beautifully Cringe-Inducing 2014 World Cup Diary (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Your "key" to sports, geddit?

One look at his website is enough to reveal that the man is a social media don and, once again, Richard Keys has proved he is on the cutting edge of all that he surveysby producing a behind-the-scenes World Cup diary via his own personal Youtube channel.

Snapshot: Magnificent ‘World Cup Wall Chart’ Garage Doors!

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By Alan Duffy

Created by AG Signs and Print apparently, these garage doors are quite superb!

Wonder if they'll update it when it gets to the knock-out stages?

(PhotoviaFootball Ramble)

Anton Ferdinand Denies Joining Thai Premier League Side ‘Police United’ Despite Clearly Being Photographed Joining Them!

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By Chris Wright

We're a day or so late on the uptake here, but many congratulations to Anton Ferdinand who, at the age of 29, has sealed his dream move to the Thai Premier League after signing for Police United...

But wait! Despite the photo above of Anton Ferdinand clearly being unveiled as a Police United player, the man himself has denied he's joined anybody.

The Great World Cup Goals, #26: Roberto Baggio (Italy) vs Czechoslovakia, 1990 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

There are definitely better quality videos out there, but the original Italian commentary just lends Il Divin' Codino's magisterial goal against Czechoslovakia in the second round of Italia '90 an extra special air...

That said, Alan Parry's wasn't bad either.

Hooters’ ‘Football vs Futbol’ World Cup Advert Is A Work Of Pure Tripe (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Starring some NFL people and a couple of scantily-clad waitresses, here's Hooters' downright abysmal "football vs futbol" World Cup advert...

It saddens us to think that several people got paid for that.

(Via Bleacher Report)

Astronauts Gear Up For World Cup With Zero Gravity Kick-About On International Space Station (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Overhead kicks in space? That's some pretty cool juju...

Astronauts show off football skills

Football GIF: David Villa Cocks Up Fantastic Passing Move During Spain Training Session

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By Chris Wright

Oh David, you had one job...

The little anguished shove on the goalpost:LOL!

Chinese Workers Buying Hundreds Of Counterfeit Sick Notes In Order To Watch 3am World Cup Games

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By Chris Wright

According to the Telegraph, hundreds of Chinese workers are spending up to 300¥(approximately £30) a pop on buying counterfeit hospital sick notes in order to bunk off work and watch World Cup matches.

Due to the 11-hour time difference between China and Brazil, many World Cup fixtures are scheduled to kick-off at 3am local time, leading many football fanatics to hit the black market in order to get their fix.

Happy World Cup Day, One And All!

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By Chris Wright

After weeks upon weeks of fevered fluffing, it's finally upon us people;the 20th itineration World bleedin' Cup begins tonight in Sao Paulo!

In 32 days' time, someone out there in Brazil is going to be hoisting this beautiful 36cm,6kg lump of gold and malachite high above their heads as the newly-crowned Campeões do Mundo!

Juventus Release Classy Video Montage Celebrating Andrea Pirlo’s New Contract (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

A player who is sure to cause England some problems when the Three Lions face the Azzurri in a few days time, the bearded genius that is Andrea Pirlo is the subject of a new video montage from Juventus celebrating his new contract with the club.

Pirlo's new two-year contract extension with the Old Lady sees the midfielder stay with the Serie A champions until the summer of 2016.

Richard Swarbrick Produces Classy Animation Featuring Selection Of Great World Cup Goals (Video)

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By Chris Wright

He's at it again, Richard Swarbrick has turned his hand to creating another one of his wonderfully stylised footballing animations this time featuring a fine selection of the World Cup's greatest goals, from Roberto Baggio's slalom goal against Czechoslovakia in 1990 right to Carlos Alberto's famous stonker against Italy in the 1970 Final.

Football Art: Graphic Designer James Campbell Taylor Beautifully Redesigns Every World Cup Poster From 1930-2014 (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Nottingham-born, Manhattan-based graphic designer James Campbell Tayloris the brains (and dexterous fingers) behind the Pennarello design website, which positively drips with achingly beautiful football nostalgia.

We tell you this because, after realising that the last few official World Cup posters had got a bit,in his own words, "dull and corporate", the talented Mr Taylordecided to have a go at redesigning all 20.

Retro Football: Steven Gerrard Claims Joe Cole Is Better Than Lionel Messi

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By Alan Duffy

Only four years ago, in an interview with MOTD magazine in 2010, Steven Gerrard claimed that Liverpool's then new-signing, Joe Cole, was better than a certain Lionel Messi. Stevie G said:

""Messi can do some amazing things, but anything he can do Joe can do as well, if not better.

Football Art: Beautiful Vintage World Cup Posters, 1930-1994

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By Chris Wright

Submitted for your perusal, here's every official World Cup poster from 1930 right through to 1994...

Vintage World Cup Posters, 1930-1994 ◄ Back Next ► Picture 1 of 16

Uruguay, 1930

The Great World Cup Goals, #24 & #25: Philipp Lahm And Torsten Frings (Germany) vs Costa Rica, 2006 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

We really couldn't pick between these two traumtors and, seeing as though they happened in the same match and all, we decided to go with the "double bubble" option.

The game in question was the opening game of the 2006 World Cup, with hosts Germany beating Costa Rica by four goals to two -the highest scoring opening game in World Cup history.

Sepp ‘Snake Hips’ Blatter Dances El Tango De La Muerte With Brazilian Supermodel… (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Feel the latin fury as 78-year-old Sepp "Snake Hips" Blatter dances El Tango de la Muerte with Brazilianmodel FernandaLima at the opening gala of FIFA's annual congress last night...

Ay ay ayiiiii!

Chelsea Found To Owe Pre-Season Friendly Game To East Stirlingshire Due To 52-Year-Old Transfer Deal!

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By Chris Wright

Scottish League Two side East Stirlingshire FC have decided now is the time that they are to cash in a deal made with Chelsea as part of the transfer that tookEddie McCreadie to Stamford Bridge back in 1962.

According to BBC Tayside, Chelsea agreed to play both a home and an away friendly withEast Stirlingshireas part of the £5,000 transfer deal for left-back McCreadie who went on to make over 300 appearances for the Blues before taking over asmanager in 1975.

Obligatory World Cup Footage Of Ghana Squad Jamming In Their Hotel Lobby Emerges! (Video)

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By Chris Wright

We knew something was missing from this World Cup build-up, but as of this morning we can all rest easy again knowing the obligatory footage of the Ghana squad jamming away in their hotel lobby is finally upon us...

Pssst, wanna know a secret?

Manaus Pitch In Terrible State Just Three Days Before England’s World Cup Opener Against Italy (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

With the stadium only half-finished to boot, the state of the playing surface at theManaus's new Amazonia Arena the venue for England's first World Cup group game against Italy on Saturday evening is looking pretty dire, especially considering it cost£173million.

Gerard Pique Gives His Jacket To Young Pitch Invader At Spain Training Session (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Hang on, we think we see a pattern emerging here...

What next? Cristiano Ronaldo handing over the keys (complete with Hello Kitty keyring) to his personal, onyx-lined underground industrial leg-waxing bunker? James Milner handing over his favourite potato?

Portugal Have Liquid Slick Team Goal Ruled Out For Offside vs Republic Of Ireland (Video)

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By Chris Wright

It's always a bloody shame when a nice goal falls by the wayside but unfortunately Nani's classy back-heel finish to a super slick Portuguese attacking manouevre against the Republic of Ireland last night meant nada due to a pesky offside call...

Liquid football!

Snapshot: It Would Appear That Gennaro Gattuso Spent His Tuesday Working In McDonald’s…

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By Chris Wright

So...it would appear that Rino Gattuso spent the vast majority of his Tuesday afternoon handing out burgers at McDonald's...

Before you go whittling that Rino's really hit the skids of late, this is all for the purposes of an advert due to screen in Italy shortly, we understand.

Robin Van Persie Suffers Slight Injury After Being Hit By Rogue Kitesurfer On Brazilian Beach

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By Chris Wright

"...the next thing I knew: WALLOP!"

Completely out of character we know, but Robin van Persie has sustained what the Dutch football federation (KNVB) are calling "light scratches" after being involved in a kite-surfing incidenton Ipanema beach earlier today.

40 Brilliant Photos Of Football Being Played In The Favelas And Slums Of Brazil

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By Chris Wright

Here we have a cracking little compendium of football being played amid the poverty and squalor of Brazil's hillside favelas, shanty towns and slums Rocinha, Dona Marta, Salgueiro, Sao Carlos, Tavares Bastos,Pavao Pavaozinho, Cantagalo, Mangueiraand the rest.

The Great World Cup Goals, #23: Rivelino (Brazil) vs East Germany, 1974 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Not only was Rivelino the proud proprieter of football's most handsome moustaches, he also did a mean line in coruscating free-kicks with his dead-eye, through-the-wall set-piece belter against East Germany during the second round of the 1974 World Cup in West Germany being a perfect example of his silken prowess.

“My Wife Told Me Not To Take It’ – Jose Mourinho Admits He Passed On The England Job In 2007 After Interference From A Higher Power

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By Chris Wright

Jose Mourinho has admitted, not for the first time if memory serves, that he came perilously close to taking the England job upon leaving Chelsea, but was talked out of the idea after conferring with a higher power: his good lady wife, Matilde.

Mourinho was canned by Chelsea at the end of September in 2007, with Steve McClaren following suit two months down the line in December.

Aerial Snapshot: England’s World Cup Training Base At Urca Military Base Is What You Might Call ‘Idyllic’…

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By Chris Wright

Nothing more, nothing less: Here's a few shots of England's idyllic-looking World Cup training base in Rio, or more specifically at the Fortaleza de São João (Fort of St. John)military base in Urca, situated beside golden sands and the clear blue azure waterof Guanabara Bayat the foot of Sugarloaf Mountain.

Official Club Statement Reveals Sunderland Are Ever So Slightly Bitter About Jack Colback Leaving For Newcastle!

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By Chris Wright

Given that he's been on their books since he was a nipper, it's fair to say that Sunderland have put an awful lot of man hours in over the years to make Jack Colback into the perfectly adequate midfielder he is today and so, it's perhaps understandable that the club should feel a little put out given his recent free transfer to Newcastle.

Jose Juan Vazquez Lights Up Mexican Liga Final With Classically Pointless ‘Front Flip’ Throw-In (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Thanks to goals from Juan Gonzalez and ex-Wigan lolly-gaggerMauro Boselli, Club Leon held on through extra-time to beat Pachuca 2-0 inthe second leg of the Liga MX final on Monday evening and therefore successfully defend their league title, winning the tie 4-3 on aggregate.

Neymar Stops Little Pitch Invader Being Turfed Out Of Brazil Training Session, Invites Him Back Onto Pitch For Group Photo (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Overcome by a dizzying desire to meet his idols, a young pitch invader took to the turf at Brazil's training session on Sunday evening, only to be intercepted by security guards and frog-marched back from whence he came.

However, having spotted the fracas from afar, Neymar then jogged over and prevented eight-year-oldBernardfrom being turfed out of the grounds, not only allowing him to stay and watch the Selecao train but also invite him back onto the pitch for a quick photowith the likes of Marcelo, Thiago Silva and David Luiz.

The Last Game: Nike Release Another Top Notch World Cup Advert With Animated Epic Starring Ronaldo, Neymar, Zlatan, Etc (Video)

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By Chris Wright

They've been teasing it for a few weeks now, but Nike have finally released yet another top notch World Cup hype advert: a sprawling, animated epic title "The Last Game" and starring Cristiano Ronaldo, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Neymar, Andres Iniesta - or their respective CGI likenesses, to be more specific.

Hammy Coach Performs Wonderfully Theatrical Dive On Touchline During Amateur Football Match (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Judging from the accent, we're in Germany or Austria somewhere to witnessthis portly coach receive an "instant-death super Force choke" on the touchlines and then collapse accordingly...

Here's the moment of truth again...

*Ahem*

(Many many many thanks to Pies fan Kristenfor sending us this one on Twitter)

Half-Way Through An Interview, Sven-Goran Eriksson Has Crate Of His Own Wine Delivered Via Helicopter (Video)

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By Chris Wright

As if you weren't already aware: Sven-Goran Eriksson = absolute playa.

Half-way through an interview with the Daily Mail about England's chances at the World Cup and a helicopter descends from the sky to deliver a crate of his own personal "Sven" wine to him in his own back garden.

Five Of FIFA’s Six Top Sponsors Go Public With Their Concerns About Qatar 2022 World Cup Vote Corruption

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By Chris Wright

It started with Sony yesterday, but now five of FIFA's six main sponsors including Adidas, Coca-Cola, Visa and Hyundai haveopenly expressed their concerns regarding the continued corruption allegationscentred around the bidding process for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.

Comedian John Oliver Launches Into Fantastic 13-Minute Rant About FIFA On His American Talk Show (Video)

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By Chris Wright

It's probably fair to say that most Brits remember John Oliver from being not especially funny on the not especially funny "Mock the Week", but in the five or six years since he last appeared on our screens the Brummiecomedian has carved himself out a new, slightly surprising but never-the-less incredibly successful niche in America first joining John Stewart as The Daily Show's senior British correspondent and now fronting his very own weekly eponymous late-night talk show,Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

Guess What? Paddy Power Didn’t Really Destroy Large Swathes Of Brazilian Rainforest For Latest PR Stunt After All… (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

As you may well have seen, Paddy Power's latest PR stunt saw thebanter-laden bookies apparently hack up large swathes of Brazilian rainforest in order to wish England well at the World Cup.

Of course, no-one in their right mind would assume that a bookmakers would callously destroy acres of Amazonian rainforest in the name of a cheap stunt but, sadly, if it's one thing the internet isn't short of, it's people who are not in their right mind.

Pies’ Big, Bold, Brassy, Beautiful 2014 World Cup Predictions

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By Chris Wright

We're a mere handful of sleeps out from the World Cup now and, as the tournament begins to crown over the horizon, Pies' thoughts turn, as ever, to making a slew of rash, largely unconsidered predictions as to how the big'n is going to pan out in Brazil.

Both myself and Alan have had a stab, and we invite you to follow suit.

Mard Arse: Arjen Robben Lashes Out At Holland Team-Mate Bruno Martins Indi After Series Of Strong Training Ground Tackles (Video)

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By Chris Wright

With four days to go until the World Cup begins, it appears that the obligatory Holland pre-tournament squabbleis finally upon us, with perpetual mard-arse Arjen Robben lashing out at Bruno Martins Indi during a Dutch training session yesterday after the Feyenoord defender went in sort of hard-ish on the Bayern Munich winger with a couple of tackles.

Jose Mourinho Runs Onto Pitch And Decks Olly Murs With Sly Foul During Soccer Aid (Video)

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By Chris Wright

The highlight of last night's Unicef Soccer Aid charity game at Old Trafford: Here's 'Rest of the World' manager Jose Mourinho running onto the pitch in order to barrel over 'England' winger Olly Murs with a perfectly-executed sly foul...

Not even a booking!

France Striker Karim Benzema Scores Crafty Curler Against Jamaica

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By Alan Duffy

The actual goal isn't shown until about 40 seconds in.

Playing on the left of a front three, with Oliver Giroud central and Mathieu Valbuena on the right, France hitman Karim Benzema netted a fine goal in Les Bleus' final World Cup warm-up game against Jamaica.

Ilkay Gut-dogan! Germany’s Injured Midfielder Piles On Pound During Injury Lay-Off

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By Alan Duffy

One of the most gifted of the players to miss out on Brazil this summer due to injury, German midfielder Ilkay Gundogen looks to have used food, and lots of it, to ease the pain of seeing the World Cup finals pass him by. The Borussia Dortmund star has been photographed with a fan and on the training pitch and in both snaps the 23-year-old looks a right chubby state.

England 0-0 Honduras – Three Lions Come Through Physical Test Unscathed In Miami (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

England 0-0 Honduras International Friendly 7th June 2014

Despite failing to find the back of the net in Miami on Saturday, England boss Roy Hodgson will still be happy that his players didn't pick up any more injuries against a rather 'physical' Honduras side.

Football GIF: Cack-Handed Referee Accidentally Sprays Mexico Players’ Boots With Foam

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By Chris Wright

In which the referee, armed with his can of shaving foam free-kick spray, duly demonstrates that Mexico's two-man defensive wall of Andres Guardado and Jose Vazquezare aninch or twoshort of the required ten-yard mark during their game against Portugal last night.

Belgium’s Friendly Against Tunisia Halted By Hail Stones The Size Of A Chihuahua’s Head (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

England's wasn't the only friendly to succumb to "inclement" weather last night, with Belgium's World Cup warm-up against Tunisia also having to be temporarily halted in the24th minute when the stadium was suddenly bombarded by hail stones the size of a chihuahua's head.

Snapshot: England vs Honduras Suspended For 30 Minutes Due To ‘Inclement Weather, With Associated Lightning’

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By Alan Duffy

England's last warm-up game before the World Cup was interrupted in rather unusual circumstances on Saturday evening. Half way through the first half of England's meeting with Honduras in Florida, the officials decided to suspend the game for 30 minutes due to a potentially dangerous nearby lightning storm.

Snapshot: England v Honduras In Miami Suspended For 30 Minutes Due To “Inclement Weather, With Associated Lightning”

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By Alan Duffy

England's last warm-up game before the World Cup was interrupted in rather unusual circumstances on Saturday evening. Half way through the first half of England's meeting with Honduras in Florida, the officials decided to suspend the game for 30 minutes due to a potentially dangerous nearby lightning storm.

Fredy’s Ready! Colombia’s Guarin Scores Long-Range Howitzer Against Jordan (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

Inter Milan's gifted midfielder Fredy Guarin scored an absolute beaut against Jordan on Friday, walloping in the ball from long distance as Colombia strolled to a 3-0 win.

The South Americans may have lost star striker Radamel Falcao to injury, but in the likes of Jackson Martinez, James Rodriguez, Juan Cuadrado and Guarin,Los Cafeterosstill have enough attacking muscle to threaten any side.

Julio Cesar Says Goodbye After Three Months On Loan At Toronto FC, Once Again Bursts Into Tears! (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Julio Cesar is an emotional man. He is prone to irrepressible bouts of acute melodrama. He cries. A lot.

He cried when Brazil lost to Holland. He walked home in floods of tears after Inter were beaten byBayern Munich.

Marco Reus Turns Ankle During Germany Friendly, Joins Lengthy World Cup Crock List

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By Chris Wright

According to the fine people over at theGerman national team's official Facebook page, it looks like Marco Reus is the latest name to be scrawled on the ever-lengthening World Cup injury list after suffering ankle ligament damage during Germany's friendly against Armenia last night.

When Fair-Play Gestures Backfire Spectacularly: The Polonia Warsaw Edition (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In an attempt to sportingly return the ball to theBlekitni Gabin goalkeeper following an injury stoppage,Polonia Warsaw's Dominik Lemanek accidentally went and scored a measured 65-yard lob from the half-way line to seal a 2-0 victoryfor his side in the 90th minute.

Honduran Journalist Refers To Steven Gerrard As ‘Mr Frank’ During England Press Conference (Video)

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By Chris Wright

An easy mistake to make...

(Video: FATV)

Brazil Legend Bebeto Recreates World Cup 1994′s Iconic ‘Baby Rocking’ Celebration With 20-Year-Old Son

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By Alan Duffy

One of the most memorable images of the 1994 World Cup in the USA was that of Brazilian striker celebrating a goal with a 'rocking a baby' action to celebrate the birth of his sonMattheus Oliveira. Well now, the Brazilian legend has recreated the famous image with none other than his (now) 20-year-old son along with TV presenterPatricia Poeta.

The Great World Cup Goals, #22: Philippe Albert (Belgium) vs Germany, 1994 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Alas, it was little more than an empty consolation in the end as Germany held on to win 3-2, but we still find immense joy in watching Philippe Albert (latterly of Newcastle United and then even latterly-er of the Belgian fruit and veg import/export trade) threading the needle with surgical precision before popping it calmly past Bodo Illgner in the 90th minute of Belgium'ssecond round tie at USA '94.

Irish Football Fans Take Boys On Green To Brazil In Superb FIFA 2014 Odyssey (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

Ireland may not be involved in this summer's World Cup, but the very clever folk over at Balls.ie decided to give the Boys In Green a taste of the Brazil 2014 experience albeit via the wonderful world of EA Sports' FIFA 2014.

Editing in real footage of Irish fans during the Republic's famous World Cup and Euro finals adventures alongside the video game shenanigans, it all adds up to a superb video and one which is sure to bring back wonderful memories for Irish people (like me).

Liverpool Midfielder Lucas Leiva Successfully Lassos A Cow On His Ranch In Brazil (Video)

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By Chris Wright

For those of you who aren't aware, Lucas Leiva owns himself a massive cattle ranch at home in Brazil, with the Liverpool midfielder-turned-vaquero regularly returning home to muck about on horseback, yeehaw, git along l'il dawgee,ride 'em in, move 'em out, etc, etc.

20 Cracking Photos Of The World Cup Mascots Of Yesteryear

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By Chris Wright

This one does exactly what is says on the tin, so without further ado, let's get stuck in, shall we?

The official 1966 World Cup mascot, World Cup Willie (as portrayed by a Mr George Claydon), seen here posing outside the FA headquarters in London

Bulgarian goalkeeper George Naidenov proudly shows off his side's unofficial 1966 World Cup mascot, a wooden toucan

A Sheffield Wednesday employee sticks up a poster advertising the various World Cup games to be played at Hillsborough

World Cup Willie helps Germany striker Uwe Seeler hand out chocolate bars at an orphanage in Derbyshire, 1966

Final design for the official 1970 Mexico World Cup mascot, Juanito

The official mascots for the 1974 World Cup, Tip and Tap, prepare to kick off on the centre spot at Munich's Olympiastadion

Tip and Tap, in poster form

Gauchito,the official mascot for the 1978 World Cup in Argentina-a small boy in traditional Argentine gaucho hat and neckerchief, and holding a horse whip

England's World Cup mascot for Spain '82 Bulldog Bobby

Bulldog Bobby, in hisless flatteringfoam rubber form

While Naranjito (below) later became the official mascot of Spain '82, FIFA used the altogether more generic 'Sport Billy' on their posters in the build-up to the tournament

Naranjito: Great mascot, crap suit

Sandy, the mascot who accompanied Scotlandon their travels to the Spanish World Cup in 1982

The Northern Ireland World Cup mascot for Spain '82 Yer Man

Pique the Jalapeno, the official sombrero andmoustachio-totin' mascot for Mexico '86

Mexican fans make their way to a game while wearing official Pique masks

Ciao, the official match-stick mascot for Italia '90 who just so happened to provided the inspiration for one of the worst cars ever produced The Italia '90 Fiat Panda

Diego Maradona, looking ever so slightly bemused/ephedrine-addled while posing with Ciao

This gormless looking thing is "Striker the World Cup Pup" official mascot of USA '94

Footix, giant cock and official mascot of France '98

Like something you'd get in a happy meal, here is the instantly forgettable Japan/South Korea 2002 mascot trio of Ato, Kaz and Nik otherwise known as "The Spheriks".

Football Vine: Trinidad & Tobago Player Ataullah Guerra Quite Literally Bows Down To Lionel Messi

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By Chris Wright

One we missed from Wednesday night's round of international friendlies, here's Trinidad & Tobago midfielder Ataullah Guerra taking his Lionel Messi fanboy worship perhaps just a little too far after coming face-to-face with his idol during the pre-game handshakes in Buenos Aires.

Professional Freestyler Dresses Up As Old Man, Whups Team Of Cocky Young Whipper-Snappers (Video)

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By Chris Wright

If we're completely honest, there's an incredibly limited amount offreestyle football we can take at Pies before it gets very old, very quickly.

Speaking of getting old quickly, here's a cheeky spin on the format that tickled our fancy: professional freestylerSean Garnier making himselfup as a senior citizen and proceeding to teach a team of cocky young whipper-snappers a thing or two about endless flouncy step-overs andfancykick-ups in a decent little advert for a Mexican department store.

Transfer Toss: Sevilla Captain Ivan Rakitic On Verge Of Joining Barcelona In €20m Deal

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By Chris Wright

According to several sources (Bild, MARCA, etc), Sevilla's Europa League-winning captain Ivan Rakitic is on the very cusp of finalising a€20million (£16million-ish) move to Barcelona having agreed a five-year deal with the Catalan side.

Indeed, MARCA are reporting that Rakitic's new contract at Barca will net him a fairly healthy€8million per annum, with the transfer set for completion before the weekend is out.

Security Breach: FIFA Accidentally Publish Passport Numbers Of Every England And Ecuador Player (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Oops-a-daisy.

We're not entirely sure how they managed it, but FIFA suffered a minor security breach last night when they accidentally published the passport numbers of each and every England and Ecuador player involved in the 2-2 friendly draw in Miami (including captain Frank Lampard's signature) on their official team-sheets.

The Great World Cup Goals, #21: Siphiwe Tshabalala (South Africa) vs Mexico, 2010 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Bringing back horrible memories of thosef**king vuvuzelas making the entire 2010 tournament sound like a colony of wasps had set up base camp inside your cranium, here'sSiphiwe Tshabalala's crackingopening goal against Mexico at Bafana Bafana's home World Cup anemphatic strike in the purest sense of the word, followed by that brilliant little group celebration.

Google Give Fans Superb Player’s-Eye View Of All 12 World Cup Stadia

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By Alan Duffy

As the 2014 World Cup approaches, Google have opened up all 12 Stadia to be used in the competition to the magic of Street View. 'Tis definitely a good way to waste your lunch break today! See all the stadia from the centre circle here.

Enjoy!

Juventus Players To Be Awarded Fancy Silver ‘Superbowl-Style’ Scudetto Winners Rings (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Having sewn up their30th Serie A league title on the back of a record-obliterating season last time out, Juventus are celebrating theclub'smomentous achievement by awarding their players with silver "Superbowl" style rings, each one customised to beartherecipient's name and squad number as well as an onyx gemstone.

Gerard Pique ‘Accidentally’ Lets Slip That Cesc Fabregas Has Joined Someone For €33m During Spain Press Conference (Video)

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By Chris Wright

"Psst. The skies over Moscow are unusually red for this time of year..."

Given that our conversational Spanish is a little on the "non-existent" side, we're not entirely sure if these subtitles are kosher, but it's being rumoured that Gerard Pique has accidentally-on-purpose let the cat out of the bag vis-a-vis the ongoing Cesc Fabregas saga.

Snapshot: David Villa Officially Unveiled By New York Cit….Hang On A Soddin’ Minute!

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By Chris Wright

Here we see David Villa being officially unveiled as a New York City FCMelbourne City FC player, a mere matter of days after signing on the dotted line for MLS's newest franchise...

For those unable to keep up, after agreeing a deal to join NYCFC, Villa has, seemingly out of nowhere, joined the American club's sister team over in Australia's A-League on a three-month guest loan.

‘His Injury Can Never Be Cured’ – Ghanaian Witch Doctor Claims He Caused Cristiano Ronaldo’s Knee Knack

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By Chris Wright

A witch doctor from Ghana has claimed responsibility for causing the knee injury that is currently putting Cristiano Ronaldo's World Cup participation in doubt.

As well as a pesky muscle problem in his left thigh, Ronaldo is suffering with 'patellar tendinosis' in his left knee an injury whichNana Kwaku Bonsam (whose name translates as "Devil of Wednesday") claims he foresaw as far back as February.

Football GIF: Luxembourg Player Hits SUPERFAIL Motherload With Worst Thrown-In Ever vs Italy

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By Chris Wright

Never mind, it's the thought that counts.

Raheem Sterling Picks Up England’s Second-Ever Red Card In A Friendly (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

Raheem Sterling joined Trevor Cherry as one of only two England players to be sent off in a friendly game after the Liverpool wingman was shown his marching orders against Ecuador on Wednesday. Cherry's came against Argentina in 1977. by the way.

To be fair to Sterling, it was a rash challenge but one which could easily have seen the ref only handing out a booking.

Ecuador 2-2 England – Oxlade-Chamberlain Sparkles In Tough Work-Out For Three Lions (Photos & Highlights)

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By Alan Duffy

Ecuador 2-2 England International Friendly 4th June 2014

Roy Hodgson's England side will have benefited from a very tough work-out against fellow World Cup side Ecuador in Miami on Wednesday.

An experimental side, with James Milner in a right-back berth and Ross Barkley, Rickie Lambert and Alex Oxlade-Chamerlain all starting, with the latter arguably England man of the match.

Belgian Town Of Tubize Re-Paint Strange ‘Platini’ Statue To Look Like Local Hero Eden Hazard (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

Tubize, the small town in Belgium where Eden Hazard spent his formative footballing years before leaving for Lille, have unveiled a new statue in tribute to their most famous son.

Standing on a grass verge outside AFC Tubize's home ground, the huge surrealist statue was originally created in 1986 as a slightly odd and misplaced paean to Michel Platini (see below), but the local government hired artistRoberto Oliveiro to come back and re-spray the bulbousfigure to look like Hazard.

Adnan Januzaj Has First International Cap Revoked After FIFA Wipe Belgium’s 5-1 Thrashing Of Luxembourg Over Substitution Gaffe

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By Chris Wright

After all the squabbling and hoo-hathat preceded it, Adnan Janujaz has had his maiden international cap revoked after FIFA declared that Belgium's recent 5-1 trouncing of Luxembourg is to be struck from the record books.

Apparently, it has come to light that Belgium coach Marc Wilmots made one too many substitutions during the friendly game and, as such, FIFA have declared the result invalid.

Retro Football: Brazil Run Amok At The Airport In Nike’s Classic World Cup Advert, 1998 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Still one of the finest football adverts ever made in Pies' humble estimation, Nike had the star-studded Brazil side of 1998 (we're talking Ronaldo, Romario, Denilson, Roberto Carlos, etc) run amok at Rio de Janeiroairport in an advert that introduced the joys of humming "Mas Que Nada" while doing kick-ups to schoolboys across the land.

Football GIF: Mexico Duo Miguel Layun And Isaac Brizuela Combine Horribly vs Bosnia & Herzegovina

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By Chris Wright

Mexico lost 0-1 to Bosina & Herzegovina on their own patch last night, with El Tri's misery all but summed up in one moment of pure, distilled FAIL whenMiguel Layun and Isaac Brizuela combined effortlessly to stink up the place with a horrendously pathetic mix-up much to the chagrin of their poor, beleaguered coach Miguel Herrera.

Shit Lookalikes: The Brazil 2014 World Cup Logo & Patrick Stewart’s Facepalm

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By Chris Wright

Cannot un-see...

Major LOLlingtons from Pies fan Richard Marler, there! Fine spot, squire.

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email it in (waatpies@gmail.com) or Tweet us (@waatpies) and we'll happily give it the once-over.

Football Vine: Steven Gerrard Utterly Perplexed By Roy Hodgson’s Tactical Nous…

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By Chris Wright

Here's our favourite little snippet from England's pre-World Cup training sessions so far.

Thelook onGerrard's face...

You tell him,Roy!

Brede Hangeland ‘Immensely Disappointed’ After Being Notified Of Fulham Release Via Email

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By Chris Wright

Brede Hangeland has said he was "immensely disappointed" and justifiably so after being released by Fulham via email.

The popular Norwegian centre-back, 32, was one of the Cottagers' longest-serving players having been at the club for six-and-a-bit years and was under contract until 2015, but was recently released following their relegation from the Premier League.

Horror Hair Stalwart Martin Demichelis Has His Majestic Ponytail Cut Off (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

To celebrate making his way into Argentina's World Cup squad, bona fide Horror Hair stalwart Martin Demichelis went and did the unthinkable...

:(

(Image via Squawka)

Snapshot: England’s Biggest Fan Turns Up In Miami…

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By Chris Wright

Biggest fan, geddit?

Hyuck hyuck!

Seriously, England have been trainingin Miami's cavernousSun Life Stadium in preparation for their pre-World Cup tune-up against Ecuador tonight.

Rumour has it that Roy Hodgson is due to test out James Milner at right-back and Wayne Rooney on the left hand side of a slightly experimental England side.

Sami The Seagull: Ex-Liverpool Legend Hyypia Closes In On Brighton Hot-Seat

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By Alan Duffy

Former Liverpool defender Sami Hyypia is close to taking over the hot-seat at Brighton & Hove Albion in a rather surprising yet logical move for the 40-year-old Finn.

Hyppia, who spent 10 years at Liverpool, where he won the Champions League, the UEFA Cup and a couple of FA Cups amongst other trophies, had initially enjoyed a successful spell as manager of Bundesliga side Bayer Leverkusen.

Neymar On Fire As Brazil Cruise Past Panama In Warm-Up Friendly (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

Panama enjoyed an impressive if ultimately unsuccessful 2014 World Cup qualifying campaign, finishing fifth in the final CONCACAF group of six and so just missing out on a play-off place. However,at theEstadio Serra Douradaon Tuesday evening, the Central Americans were thrashed by an impressive Brazil side, with Neymar outstanding throughout.

Black-And-White Snapshot: Cracking Photo Of The (Very) Young Frank Lampard Jnr…

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By Chris Wright

West Ham's Frank Lampard Sr. and his late wife Patricia, seen here holding 'ickle baby Frank Jnr a matter of hours old after being born unto the world on June 20th, 1978...

Bless!

(Photo via @AntiqueFootball)

Adrian Mutu Makes ‘Acting’ Debut As Cigar-Chuffing Romanian Playboy In Snoop Dogg’s New Music Video (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Snoop Dogg/Lion/Guinea Pig has collaborated with Romanian pop act A-Roma for his latest musical venture, a song by the name of "Acrobat", which features a certain former Chelsea striker and cocaine enthusiast in the video, Mr Adrian Mutu.

Please remember, you are under no obligation to actually sit through all of this offensively homogeneous ear-rot.

Retro Football: ‘It’s Unprofessional, Undignified And Silly’ – FA Write To Managers To Request Players Stop Removing Shirts After Scoring, 1995 (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Circa 1995, here's evidence that the FA proving were always willing to tackle the big issues eating away at football's moral fibre with the gusto we've come to expect writing to every single manager in the football league to request them to prevent players from removing their shirts to celebrate goals on the grounds that it's "unprofessional, undignified and silly".

Cool Time-Lapse Shows Wembley Being Converted From England-Peru To Froch-Groves In 24 Hours (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Here's a bit ofcool time-lapse footage that shows Wembley being converted from a football stadium to the 80,000-capacity boxing arenain which Cockney gobshite George Groves got his face knocked through his arse by Carl Froch last Saturday night, all in the space of 24 little hours.

The Great World Cup Goals, #20: Dinko Dermendjiev (Bulgaria) vs Peru, 1970 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Don't you just love it when a plan comes together?

Beautiful. Like shit off a shovel, if you'll excuse our French.

More in the series...

#1 – Maxi Rodriguez (Argentina) vs Mexico, 2006
#2 – Saeed Al-Owairan (Saudi Arabia) vs Belgium, 1994

#3 – Giovanni Van Bronckhorst (Holland) vs Uruguay, 2010
#4 – Pierre Njanka-Beyaka, (Cameroon) vs Austria, 1998
#5 – Nelinho (Brazil) vs Italy, 1978
#6 – David Platt (England) vs Belgium, 1990
#7 – Alessandro Del Piero (Italy) vs Germany, 2006
#8 – Javier Zanetti (Argentina) vs England, 1998
#9 – Manuel Negrete (Mexico) vs Bulgaria, 1986
#10 – Emmanuel Sanon (Haiti) vs Italy, 1974
#11 – Josimar (Brazil) vs Northern Ireland, 1986

#12 – Maicon (Brazil) vs North Korea, 2010
#13 – Dennis Bergkamp (Holland) vs Argentina, 1998
#14 – Dragan Stojkovic (Yugoslavia) vs Spain, 1990
#15 – Chiqui Arce (Paraguay) vs South Africa, 2002
#16 – Esteban Cambiasso (Argentina) vs Serbia & Montenegro, 2006

#17 – Gheorghe Hagi (Romania) vs Colombia, 1994
#18 – Hans Krankl (Austria) vs West Germany, 1978
#19 Sunday Oliseh (Nigeria) vs Spain, 1998

Iran Captain To Gift Lionel Messi Special ‘Bio Ball’ Featuring 32 Endangered Animals From Each World Cup Nation (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

It's not like we can offer much in the way of citation here, but according to Reddit this here is the ball that Iran captainJavad Nekounam will hand over to his Argentinian counterpart Lionel Messi when the two countries meet in the World Cup group stages.

Fluminense To Mark 100th Anniversary Of Brazilian National Side’s First Ever Game With Special Friendly In Rio…Against Exeter City

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By Chris Wright

Brazil's first ever match against Exeter City, 1914 (Image via Wiki)

Brazilian side Fluminense have announced that they are to stage a special exhibition friendly in Rio de Janeiro during the World Cup tocommemorate the 100th anniversary of the Brazil national team's first match in 1914.

James Milner On Mission To Track Down Creators Of ‘Boring Milner’ Parody Twitter Account – Man City Masseurs Are Prime Suspects

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By Chris Wright

Though he admits it's "good fun", James Milner is currently on a mission to track down and eradicate the mischievous creators behind the @BoringMilner parody Twitter account.

The Boring Milner (which does exactly what is says on the tin) account currently has 249,000 followers, whereas Milner's account for his eponymous charity foundation has a mere 15,000.

Ajax Play Brilliant Hidden Camera Prank By Unveiling Hideous New Kits To Frank De Boer And His Players (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In which Ajax play an outstanding hidden camera prank of Frankde Boer,Siem de Jong, Daley Blind and Jasper Cillessen by having an actor posing as an Adidas rep and showing them a string of hideous new shirt designs filming their various non-plussed reactions all the while.

Dani Alves And Lukas Podolski Anger Animal Rights Groups After Posing Holding Cow Hearts For Gory Adidas World Cup Campaign (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

A new, needlessly graphic Adidas World Cup advertising campaign starring Dani Alves, Arjen Robben and Diego Costa among others has drawn widespread consternation from animal rights groups.

Along with the caption "My heart for my country", Alves posted the above photo up on Instagram yesterday of himself looking all moody and menacing while holding a gelatinous, disembodied cow heart for the new Adidas "All In Or Nothing" promo campaign.

Franck Ribery Makes 23-Man French World Cup Squad Despite Dodgy Back

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By Alan Duffy

Despite seeing his preparations for Brazil 2014 hampered by a recurring back injury, French heart-throb Fronck Ribery has still made Didier Deschamps' final 23-man squad for the tournament this month.

The Bayern Munich winger is still fighting to be fit for Les Bleus' first game of the tournament.

Clarence Seedorf Scores Cracker In Real Madrid Vs Juventus Legends UNESCO Charity Clash (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

What a goal this was from current AC Milan boss Clarence Seedorf, who rolled back the years (well, one year as he was banging in these kind of goals in Brazil last season) to score an outstanding volley.

Fernando Morientes, Zinedine Zidane (courtesy of a trademark cheeky effort), Ruben De La Red and Jesus Velasco also scored for Real with Alessio Tacchinardi netting for Juve in the UNESCO Cup charity game in Turin.

B-ewe-tiful Game: The ‘Sheep World Cup’ In Colombia Was A Feast Of Football (Video)

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By Chris Wright

In which we are treated to some engrossing footage from the'Sheep World Cup', held recently in Nobsa, Colombia in anticipation of the real thing which kicks off in Brazil in just ten days' time.

Fifty sheep were dressed up in the colours of Colombia and Brazil for a 25-a-side festival of ovine football - or munch away happily on the grass, whichever suits.

Real Madrid Reveal New 2014/15 Kits, Including Completely Fabulous Pink Away Strip! (Photos)

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By Chris Wright

In images obtained by everybody's favourite Uruguayankit blog Todo Sobre Camisetas, it would appear that Real Madrid are dabbling in pink when it comes to their new 2014/15 strips.

The home jersey is your standard royal-white-with-black-stripes affair with just the merest hint of what's to come featured in a thin strip down the flanks and across the hem of the shorts and socks.

The Great World Cup Goals, #17: Sunday Oliseh (Nigeria) vs Spain, 1998 (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Despite being included asone ofFrance 98′s bottom seeds, Nigeria beat both Spain and Bulgaria to emerge fromGroup D as surprise winners before tanking against Denmark in the second round and being dumped out of the competition in spectacular style.

The first shock came in Nigeria's opening game against Spain which saw themcome from behind to beat their European opponents thanks to a goal that almost broke the sound barrier.

David Villa Becomes New York City FC’s First Official Signing (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

As first ever signings go, David Villa ain't half bad and that's exactly who has signed on the dotted line to become the first player on the roster of new MLS franchise New York City FC...

The news was actually announced by Manchester City's official Twitter feed, so read into that what you like.

Snapshot: Rickie Lambert Is Officially A Liverpool Player…Again

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By Chris Wright

After being sacked off by the club as a youngster many moons ago, Rickie Lambert is once again an employee of Liverpool Football Club...

Lambert, 32, joins the Reds from Southampton for a fee of around £4million (plus add-ons), having shaken on a two-year contract at Anfield.

Competition: Caption This Classic World Cup Photo And Win £25 Hungryhouse Voucher!

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Fancy winning a £25 Hungryhouse voucher ANDbe in with a chance of winning aclassic Brazil shirt and anHD TV?

Read on...

FOODBALL'S COMING HOME:Fill Your Belly, Win a Telly with hungryhouse!

Eight years ago, in the final of the 2006 World Cup, Zinedine Zidane decided to use his head in the only way he hadn't yet done during his illustrious career.

Antonio Cassano Stopped Eating Focaccia To Lose 10kg And Slink His Way Into Italy’s World Cup Squad

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By Chris Wright

"Num nums!"

Perhaps surprisingly, Antonio Cassano has never played a single minute of World Cup football, with his inclusion in Italy's 2014 squad being the Parma striker's first ever call-up to an Azzurri World Cup squad.

Now aged 31, Cassano has admitted that he thought his chance to appear at a World Cup had passed, but thanks to a serious show of dedication he was able to persuade coach Cesare Prandelli that he was worth taking to Brazil largely due to him scoring 12 goals and dropping 10kg over the course of the 2013/14 season.

So…Former Werder Bremen Goalkeeper Tim Wiese Is A Bloody Huge Bodybuilder Now! (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Well well. Someone's been sayin' their prayers and takin' their vitamins!

As spotted by the good folks over at Eurosport Germany, it looks like ex-Werder Bremen and Germany goalkeeper Tim Wiese has been filling the time since Hoffenheim released him in January focusing solely on turning himself into a wall of tattooed meat.

West Ham Release Cringeworthy T-Shirt To Commemorate Winning ‘The Treble’ Last Season (Photo)

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By Chris Wright

Despite playing football so lumpenandagricultural that it moved their own fans to boo them after winning games, West Ham have released an official t-shirt to commemorate the club's fine achievements last season the year in which the Hammers famously won "The Treble".

Snapshot: Leighton Baines Takes His Guitar To Miami On England World Cup Duty…

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By Chris Wright

He looks like he's on his way to an Artic Monkeys gig at the best of times, but Leighton Baines scored some serious cool points last night when he took his guitar away with him on World Cup duty...

There's something you don't see every day.

As for Jon Flanagan, it always looks like there's someone else inside him trying to escape through his face.

Belgian Striker Romelu Lukaku Shaping Up Nicely for Brazil, Nets Another Cracker Against Sweden (Video)

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By Alan Duffy

Chelsea striker Romelu Lukaku could well be one of the star's of this summer's World Cup after enjoying a superb domestic season on loan at Everton. The youngster looks as though he'll be taking that potent club form to Brazil with him too after he bagged a superb curling effort against Sweden on Sunday night.

Comedian Simon Brodkin Tries To Sneak Onto England Plane To Brazil, Gets Nabbed By Security (Photos)

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By Alan Duffy

Most famed for his Lee Nelson creation, comedian Simon Brodkin caused quite a scene at Luton airport on Sunday afternoon as Roy Hodgson's England squad prepared to board the plane to Brazil.

In the guise of his professional footballer character 'Jason Bent', Brodkin, donning an England squad suit and with passport in hand, tried to sidestep security and mingle with the England players, some of whom looked rather confused by the whole affair.

Football GIF: Sneaky Wes Sneijder Kegs Sulley Muntari After Holland-Ghana Friendly

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By Chris Wright

Wes Sneijder: Original Prankster...

(Via Reddit)