Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2013

Pep Guardiola’s Bayern Munich Reign Kicks Off With 15-1 Stroll Against Local Side (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 6 views

By Alan Duffy

Having lifted the Champions League in impressive fashion under the stewardship of Jupp Heynckes, the arrival of Barcelona legend Pep Guardiola could well see Bayern Munich enjoy a golden era of success, both domestically and in Europe.

In his first game in charge, against local fan-club side Wildenau, Guardiola watched his mix and match side run out 15-1 winners, withThomas Muller, Oliver Markoutz and Vladimir Rankovic on the score-sheet in the first period before Patrick Weihrauch (four goals), Julian Green (three),Franck Ribery (two), Mitchell Weiser (two) and Toni Kroos found the back of the net to secure the pre-season win.

Mexico U20 Striker Jesus Escoboza Scores Despite Losing A Boot vs Mali (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Mexico qualified for the knockout stages of the U20 World Cup with a comfortable 4-1 win over Mali yesterday, so comfortable in fact that striker Jesus Escoboza even kicked off his shoes and relaxed half-way through scoring El Tri's el third goal of the game.

Friday Flashback: 20 Magnificent Assorted Vintage Football Stickers – Vol #40

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Friday Flashback XL: Their First Assignment...

As per usual, mucho thankos to Old School Panini (@OldSchoolPanini) for letting us rifle through their archives yet again.

More Friday Flashback goodness on Pies.

Confederations Cup Semi-Final: Spain 0-0 Italy (7-6 Pens) – Sweat-Drenched Spaniards Rumble Into The Final (With Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Greg Evans

What would Jesus do?

After the gritty hustle, bustle, diving, whining and cheating of Brazil-Uruguayin Belo Horizonte on Wednesday evening, the watching world settleddown the following night expecting a refined slice ofclassy, continental football and, although we weren't treated to any goals, we were treated to a fascinating game full ofpoise, skill and tactical precision.

Football GIF: Man Utd Attempt To Lure Thiago Alcantara To Old Trafford Using The Terminator

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Manchester United duo David Moyes and David De Gea's ongoing attempts to snaffle Thiago Alcantara from Barcelona, presented in astoundingly good "Terminator GIF" form...

(GIF via Jeston over on Red Cafe)

Italian Bubble Football Is Exactly As Awesome As It Sounds… (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

You're welcome.

Monaco To Begin Next Season On -2 Points As Punishment For Pitch Invasion After Final Home Game

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Simmer down you lot

There's understandable hoo-ha surrounding AS Monaco's return to the French top tier for 2013/14 given that they've spent vast swathes of money in their quest to assemble the world's biggest collection of Porto alumni, with thelikes of Falcao, Joao Moutinho, James Rodriguez and Ricardo Carvalho already moving to the principality for a combined fee of £115 million.

FIFA Announce Official Champagne Of The 2014 World Cup – See Brazil, They Do Care!

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

High-end champagne brand Taittinger have confirmed they have signed a commercial partnership deal with FIFA that will see them provide the official champagne for the2014 World Cup in Brazil.

"Champagne Taittinger will manifest its presence at the 2014 FIFA World Cup in the months to come through various initiatives with the help of its 150 distributors around the world," chirruped the bubblymongers, via their website, meaning that Taittinger is to be swilled by FIFA execs at every World Cup-related gala and soiree between now and the end of 2015.

Snapshot: Lionel Messi Launches Own Brand Of Anti-Mosquito Net, Complete With His Face On…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

After doing battle with the Spanish taxman in the skies over Catalonia all week, Lionel Messi flitted to Senegal yesterday to dole outa few of his new anti-mosquito/anti-malaria bed nets that will hopefully save thousands of lives across Africa.

As well as Messi's seal of approval, the nets also have his screaming face on which is nice.

Confederations Cup GIF: Antonio Candreva Gets Semi-Final Penalty Shootout Underway With Ice Cold Panenka

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Candreva puts Saint Iker on his arse

By way of a penalty shoot-out, last night Spain ousted Italy in the semis to shimmy into Sunday's Confederations Cup final alongside Brazil though it was the Azzuri who got the ball rolling, with Antonio Candreva of Lazio giving precisely zero f**ks about the mass tension and duly getting the pens underway with the iciest of ice cold panenkas.

Lillestrom Fans Accuse Valerenga Ultras Of ‘Beheading’ Statue Of Club Legend Tom Lund

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

SIMPSONS DID IT

Lillestrom fans are up in arms today after a photo of the statue of club legend Tom Lund which sits at the entrance to their stadium circulated showing that Lund had been "decapitated" by unknown vandals under the cover of darkness last night.

FC Koln Launch New Kit With Superfly 70′s Pastiche Viral (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

2. Bundesliga club FC Koln have seen fit to launch their 2013/14 kit with a superfly viral which sees playersBruno Nascimento, Jonas Hector and iddy biddy l'ilSascha Bigalke zippin' up their boots, goin' back to their roots, struttin' their funky stuff and generally proving that, yes Sir, they can boogie by larking around in a park in a variety of pound shop wigs and faux facial hair to mark the fact that the new strip is apparently inspired by the kits Koln wore during their 1970s/early 1980s heyday.

Confederations Cup Semi-Final: Brazil 2-1 Uruguay – La Selecao Squeeze Past La Celeste And Into The Final (With Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Greg Evans

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?"

Now, we all know that Brazil are a proud nation but rarely has a country shown commitment to its values quite like those amassed in Belo Horizonte did on Wednesday. With thousands of protesters again clashing with police in the streets outside the Estadio Mineirao, supporters, citizens and professional footballers alike belted out their national anthem, Hino Nacional Brasileiro, in cacophonous unison like their lives depended on it.

Macclesfield Town Cancel ‘Pay To Play’ Offer After Realising It May Affect The Integrity Of The Game

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

After an evening spent mulling over the ramifications, Blue Square Bet Premier side Macclesfield Town have cancelled their "pay to play" offer after realising that letting a paying fan take to the field in a competitive fixture next season might just undermine the integrity of their league or cup campaign.

Neymar And Uruguay’s Alvaro Gonzalez Share Tender Moment, Blow Kisses At Each Other (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Somewhere among all the diving, the writhing and the screaming that flecked last night's first of the Confed semis, two lonely men found love amid the chaos in Belo Horizonte, with Uruguay's Alvaro Gonzalez and Brazilian wimp Neymar sharing a truly touching moment in the corner after the former was substituted off in the final few minutes.

Football GIF: Neymar Dives Like The Shameless Little Pussbag He Is vs Uruguay

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Last night's Confederations Cup semi between Brazil and Uruguay was a rotten old affair, with a flat, fragmented game soon giving way to frustration and minute-by-minute diving from almost every player on the pitch.

In his role as tournament poster boy, Neymar took this as his cue to start throwing himself around like a tasered salmon with his diving, feigning, conning and screaming gradually getting worse and worse before culminating in this moment of genius.

Macclesfield Town Offer Fan Chance To Play 10 Minutes In Competitive Match…For Just £20,000

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Just think, all this could be yours for just twenty grand!

Macclesfield Town are hoping to raise a bit of money by offering one fan the chance to play 10 minutes of competitive, first-team football in return for a very reasonable £20,000.

A fortnight ago, Macclesfield almost slipped into administration but were saved byCheshire East Council, who bought the club's Moss Rose stadium in order to provide the cash to keep the wolves from the door.

Nike FC247 Phone App Allows You To Summon Laserbeam 5-A-Side Pitch Wherever You Bloody Well Want One (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Today's pretty amazing-yet-slightly silly technology round-up features the new "FC247″ app from Nike which allows you to request a laser-equipped van to turn up at your beck and call and project a neon green laser 5-a-side pitch wherever you bloody well want it to!

Football Art: Richard Swarbrick Returns With Beautiful ‘Moments In Football’ Fantasista Animation (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Richard Swarbrick, i.e, the artisan behind that "Gareth Bale vs Inter Milan" animation, has returned with his latest animation creation for the Fantasista footballing art movement, with "Moments in Football" featuringJohan Cruyff, Zlatan, Marco van Basten, Gazza, Rene Higuita, Pele, Maradona, Zizou and Roberto Baggio.

10 Of The Best Footballer’s ‘Personal Life’ Sections On Wikipedia

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Exactly what it says on the tin: a tensome of the best/strangest/beguilingly dull footballing "personal life" sections we've come across on Wikipedia.

Hey, ho and away we go...

1. Michael Thomas: "After retiring from football, Thomas set up his own security service, called "Stop Taking the Michael" with Nigel Spackman, which he runs to this day by himself due to a falling out over expense claims with Nigel.

Football Tat: Ronaldinho Launches His Own Line Of Condoms

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

While most footballing superstars are content with putting their name on the odd or gentleman's perfume, Ronaldinho has decided to take the road less traveled and launch his own line of condoms called 'Sex Free'. Yep.

It makes sense of course, who knows more about beating Seaman than Ronny?

Shit Lookalikes: Childhood Flashback Of Don Draper (From ‘Mad Men’ Season 6) & Fernando Torres

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

World class Shit Lookalike prowess shown by Pies fan Matthew Ingham here, who noticed that Don Draper (as shown as a kid in the sixth season of Mad Men) bears an uncanny resemblance to a certain 29-year-old Niño.

Fine work Sir!

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies?

Peruvian Top Flight Coach Sent Off For Fouling Real Garcilaso Player (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

The PeruvianPrimera Division game between Real Garcilaso and Inti Gas Deportes Ayacucho (bless you) played host to one of the stranger red cards you'll ever see, with Inti Gas coach Rolando Chilavert being sent from the touchlines for fouling one of the Garcilaso players in the final few minutes of the match.

Snapshot: Lionel Messi’s Brand Spanking New Signature Adidas F50 Boots Are Upon Us…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Well looky here at what was waiting on Pies' doormat this morning: Lionel Messi's new signature line of Adidas F50 boots in what we're told is a "Turbo, Blast Purple and White" colourway that "represents the way Messi lights up every pitch he plays on."

Turbo and Blast Purple we can get on board with, but "white" is a bit boring and perfunctory.

Around The Grounds: The Crown Ground, Home Of Accrington Stanley

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

With a capacity of just 5,070, Accrington Stanley's Crown Ground is the smallest ground in the Football League as things currently stand, what with it being able to hold a full 22 fewer supporters than the next smallest on the list: Fleetwood Town's Highbury Stadium.

Snapshot: Tony Hibbert Graces Front Cover Of ‘Angling Times’ After Hooking 42lb Monster Carp…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Everton legend Tony Hibbert has graced the most recent cover of the Angling Times after hooking a 42lb monster carp at his newly-opened private carp fishery.

Apparently it's been Hibbert's life-long dream to own his own fishing lake, and the Toffee's longest-serving player's dream finally came true when he opened "Lac de Premiere" last year.

Carlo Ancelotti As His Magnificent Eyebrow Are Appointed As New Real Madrid Manager, Laurent Blanc Takes PSG Job

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Ancelotti: The Archduke of Archedbrow

Real Madrid have made their first major signing of the summer, bringing in Carlo Ancelotti's magnificently expressive left eyebrow on a free, bundled in as part of the deal that will see the Italian take over as manager on a reported three-year deal.

‘It’s A Big Risk To Play Both’ – Johan Cruyff Says Barcelona Should Seriously Consider Selling Lionel Messi Now They Have Neymar

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

"Messi? This Jordi Cruyff boy I've heard so much about is available on a free...just sayin'!"

Johan Cruyff has told Marca that, although he wouldn't have signed Neymar in the first place, now that Barcelona have splooged £50million on the razilian, they should now be thinking long and hard about selling Lionel Messi as the team cannot possibly support two such superstars.

Chelsea Agree £49.3m Fee For Edinson Cavani According To Napoli’s Official Radio Station

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

"There is no Dana, onlyZuul!"

Napoli's official club radio station, Radio Marte, have announced that Chelsea have got their noses out in front in the race for Edinson Cavani's signature after becoming the first club to agree a fee with presidentAurelio De Laurentiis for the Uruguayan forward.

Ryan Giggs Surprises Countdown’s Rachel Riley With Signed Man Utd Shirt On Her 1,000th Show (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

The delectable Rachel Riley received her 1,000th Countdown cap recently and to mark the occassion Ryan Giggs toddled along to the studio to surprise the Channel 4 show's resident maths vixen and known Manchester United fan (well, she's from Essex so what did you expect?

MotM: Barcelona Youth Keeper Inaki Pena Saves Six Penalties Then Scores Winning Goal vs Atletico Madrid (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views

By Chris Wright

Proof if proof were needed that there's something a bit special in the water at La Masia, here's 14-year-old Barca youth 'keeper Inaki Pena putting in a (quite literally) match-winning performance against Atletico Madrid's youth string in Sunday's "Torneo Internacional infantil Reino de Leon" game.

Confederations Cup: Six Spain Players Robbed In Recife During Late Night Strip Poker Tournament

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Brazilian website Globoesporte.com are claiming this morn that the money that was reported stolen from members of the Spanish national team in Recife after their Confederations Cup victory over Uruguay last week came about as a result of a strip poker tournament gone awry.

Lionel Messi Pays €10m In Overdue Tax – Over Double What Spanish Tax Officials Believed He Owed

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Let me tell you how it will be: one for you, nineteen for me

After he was his father were issued with a court summons last week over unpaid tax, Lionel Messi has settled his bill with the Spanish taxman by paying a lump sum of€10million (around £8.

German NBA Star Dirk Nowitzki Cons Penalty In Charity Game With Outrageous Dive, Buries It Past Manuel Neuer (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Blimey O'Reilly, it's definitely charity match at the moment, with the footballing fundraisers coming thick and fast.

On the same day that Luis Boa Morte was busy burying a flamboyant/definitely illegal penalty for the Figo XI against Venezuelan champsDeportivo Anzoategui, over in Germany, Bayern Munich keeper Manuel Neuer and German NBA star Dirk Nowitski were joining forces in Wuerzburg to stage an exhibition game to raise money for local deprived children.

2013 Confederations Cup: Group Stage Review – Neymar, Tahiti And The Story So Far…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Greg Evans

First things first, the most refreshing thing so far about this year's Confederations Cup has been that every team that entered even those who failed to make the semi-final cut played as though they wanted to win it.

So far each manager has by and large fielded their best available XI and many teams have given it their all in each match.

Confederations Cup Snapshot: Tahiti Thank The Whole Of Brazil For Their Hospitality After Bowing Out…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Awww, bless 'em!

Tahiti: the world's newest favourite gift-bearing international minnows.

Let's hear it for them!

(Photo:Eugene Hoshiko/AP/Press Association Images)

Luis Boa Morte Scores Outrageously Fancy Penalty During ‘Figo XI’ Charity Game (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

So, Luis Good Death scored a frankly outrageous penalty in this evening's between aLuis Figo XI and Venezuelan league champions Deportivo Anzoategui, the second of his two goals in a 3-2 win...

Ruddy bloody brilliant!

Gus Poyet Sacked As Brighton Manager While Punditing Live On BBC TV (Complete With Cringey Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Well, that was awkward! Having been on gardening leave for the past month or so, Brighton chose the perfect moment to announce to the world that Gus Poyet had been sacked as their manager just as he was providing punditry for the Confederations Cup game between Spain and Nigeria live on BBC television!

Small World: Tahiti International Ephraim Araneda Was The Tour Guide For Fernando Torres’ Honeymoon In 2007

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright


"I'm stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiive"

Wonderful sleuth work my Marca this morning, who have discovered that a member of the Tahiti national side decimated by Spain in the Maracana on Thursday evening actually acted as a tour guide for Fernando Torres when the Chelsea striker took his honeymoon on the Pacific island back in 2007.

Classic Moments: The Intro To The First Ever Sky Sports ‘Super Sunday’ Broadcast, 1992 (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

While plumbing the depths of Youtube to turn up those unsettling opening titles from a 1991 edition of Match of the Day yesterday, we unwittingly unearthed another little gem in the shape of the intro to the first ever "Ford Super Sunday" programme first broadcast in 1992 when Sky Sports showed up and ruined football forever more.

Celtic’s New 2013/14 Home Shirt Is So Hoopy Even The Hoops Are Hooped! (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Zut alors! The new Celtic 2013/14 home shirt is so goddamn hoopy that even the hoops are hooped. Indeed, why they didn't have Gary Hooper modeling it for them is a bit of a mystery. Can't beat a bit of four-fold hoopage to really emphasis the hoopiness.

Here's the official bumph to explain the thought process behind the new hoops-within-hoops design.

Friday Flashback: 20 Magnificent Assorted Vintage Football Stickers – Vol #39

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

The Friday Flashback: Farewell to the Flesh....

What's the matter Guy? Why the Fraunie face?

Oh Marco, what happened mate?

I know Babacar Gueye and that ain't him!

As per usual, mucho thankos to Old School Panini (@OldSchoolPanini) for letting us rifle through their archives yet again.

Bohemians vs Leixlip United Plays Host To Possibly The Finest Solo Amateur Goal Ever Scored (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Amazing stuff captured here from the recent Leinster regionalleague tie between Bohemians and Leixlip United over in Ireland, in which one of the Bohemians players delivers what may just be the greatest solo goal ever scored in amateur football.

Kick-ups all the way down the line?

Nothing To See Here, Just A Dance-Off Between Emmanuel Adebayor, Michael Essien, Djibril Cisse…And Michael Ballack (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

'Tis the annual "Game of Hope" this evening, i.e, the charity football match in Ghana put together by Michael Essien to help raise money and awareness for a variety of foundations in his homeland, and on the eve of the match several of the players involved got roped into an impromptu dance-off at the pre-game gala in Accra.

Let’s Hear It For…Tahiti!

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Over on RTE last night, pundit Kenny Cunningham tried a sub-Roy Keane "militant professional" approach to analysing Tahiti's performance against Spain, admonishing the players of a tiny island nation ranked 138th in the world for daring to have smiles emblazoned across their faces after being torn asunder by reigning World and European champions Spain.

David Beckham Injures Several Chinese People With His Mere Presence As Stampede Breaks Out At Shanghai University (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

"My Golden Ballsâ„¢ are tingling, people are in danger"

David Beckhamâ„¢ is back in China at the moment, fulfilling his ambassadorial role with a week-long tour of the country to promote the country'scertainly-not-corruption-addled-so-don't-even-worry-about-it domestic football league.

Classic Moments: The Weird, Strangely Erotic ‘Match Of The Day’ Opening Titles Which Were Only Used Once, 1990/91 (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Here we have it folks: the weird, hyper-colour, strangely erotic (there's a shower scene for God's sake) "Match of the Day" opening titles which were used for one week and one week only for theFA Cup first round edition of the programme during the 1990/91 season before disappearing forever.

Classy Carlos Queiroz Gives ‘Up Yours’ Gesture To South Korea Coach As Iran Advance To 2014 World Cup (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

We're slightly late on the uptake here, but hey ho.

Given the tempestuous build-up, Tuesday evening'sAFC World Cup qualifier between South Korea and Iran was never going to be pretty and it most certainly wasn't, with the Iranians winning 1-0 to finish top of Group A in a match that ended with a whole heap of ugly.

Confederations Cup: Neymar Scores Delicious Left-Foot Volley To Open Scoring vs Mexico (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views

By Chris Wright

Neymar made it two goals in two 2013 Confederations Cup games for Brazil by following up his opening-game corker against Japan with an equally impressive left-footed volley to open the scoring against Mexico in the tenth minute...

After a long mid-game lull, Barcelona's new £50million man then set about conjuring up Brazil's second goal for Jo (hey, remember Jo?

Confederations Cup: Italy 4-3 Japan – Game Of The Tournament So Far Provides Dramatic Comebacks And Iffy Penalties A-Plenty! (Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Due to a slight editorial mix-up on my part we haven't featured an awful lot of the 2013 Confederations Cup on Pies over the last week or so, but rest assured that's about to change with round-by-round reviews from the skilled quill of our good friend Greg Evans about to come at you thick and fast.

Some Cheeky Scamp (Possibly David De Gea) Wrote ‘See You In Manchester’ On Thiago Alcantara’s Hat-Trick Matchball After Euro U21 Final (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Don't ask us how, but some eagle-eyed chap by the name of @CheGiaevara managed to spot that someone had written 'Nos vemos en Manchester/See you in Manchester' on Thiago Alcantara's hat-trick matchball following Spain's victory in the final of the European U21 Championships on Tuesday evening.

Snapshot: Henrik Larsson Makes Hogaborgs BK Comeback, Plays Alongside His Son In 4-2 Victory (With Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

"It's not time to make a substitution, just relax, take is easy..."

Here it is people: photographic proof that, as promised, 41-year-old Henrik Larsson made a one-off comeback for his boyhood club Hogaborgs last night, coming off the bench to join his 15-year-old son Jacob on the pitch for the last five-ish minutes of their 4-2 victory over Tenhults in the Swedish fourth tier last night.

Henrik Larsson, 41, Agrees To Come Out Of Retirement To Play One Last Game For Boyhood Club Hogaborgs BK

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

"I heard of dreadlocks Henke, but shitlocks?!!"

Four years after knocking his playing career on the head, Henrik Larsson has agreed to his boyhood club a favour and come out of retirement for one night only to help them through an injury crisis.

Around The Grounds: The City Ground, Home Of Nottingham Forest

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

City Ground, mist rolling in from the Trent. My desire is always to be here. Oh, City Ground...

What a beautiful old beast.

More in Pies' Around The Grounds series...

Princes Park, Dartford FC's Wooden Eco Stadium
Molineux, Wolves
The New Maracana, Rio De Janeiro
Griffin Park, Brentford
De Kuip, Feyenoord
Upton Park, West Ham
San Mames, Athletic Bilbao
FC Gspon's Ottmar Hitzfeld Stadium, The Highest Pitch In Europe

Valley Parade, Bradford City
Prenton Park, Tranmere
Wankdorf, Young Boys
Estadio Municipal, SC Braga
Home Park, Plymouth Argyle

Victoria Park, Hartlepool United
Bloomfield Road, Blackpool
Ninian Park, Cardiff City
Wankdorf Stadium, Young Boys
Portman Road, Ipswich Town
Recreation Ground, Aldershot
Saltergate, Former Home Of Chesterfield

(Photos: PA)

Knives, Pepper Spray, Pickaxes And Baseball Bats Wielded As Mass Carnage Breaks Out At French Amateur Game (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

In footage captured by French media outlet Le Parisien at the beginning of the month, here we see some shockingly graphic scenes from a Parisian provincial amateur game between Ivry-sur-Siene and Val de Fontenay, during which a mass brawl broke out midway through the second half.

Yaya Sanogo Sells Himself: New Arsenal Recruit Reveals He Nearly Quit Football A Year Ago To Work As A Postman

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Sanogo almost hit the post

What with being on the very brink of signing for Arsenal after passing a medical at The Emirates and all, it's only right that Auxerre striker Yaya Sanogo should sell himself hard to help push the deal over the line.

Euro U21s Final: Italy 2-4 Spain – Thiago Alcantara Scores First-Half Hat Trick As Spain Retain…Again! (Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Given that they've been nothing short of irresistible all tournament, it was pretty much inevitable that Spain would see off Italy in the final of the European U21 Championship yesterday evening and so it came to pass, with La Roja retaining their title courtesy of a convincing 4-2 victory.

Footage Of World Cup Protester Volleying Police Teargas Canister Given ‘Manic Brazilian Commentary’ Rework (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

The internet is a wonderful thing: one day you're sourcing and buying weapons-grade enriched uranium on Ebay, the next you're sat watching footage of a Brazilian World Cup protester in Rio connecting with a sweet volley to a police teargas cannister which someone out there has overdubbed with a classic blast of "manic Brazilian commentary".

Amateur Bosnian Keeper With ‘Headache’ Somehow Plays Entire 90 Minutes With Bullet Lodged In His Temple

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Ow! (Image: In Serbia)

An amateur goalkeeper turning out in a local game in the Sarajevo neighbourhood of Boljakov Potok had to be taken to hospital afterwards after unwittingly playing for the majority of the game with a bullet lodged in his brain.

Owen Coyle Officially Unveiled As Wigan Manager (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Here's Wigan's new manager, Owen Coyle, doing the whole "scarf aloft" thing at the DW Stadium alongside chairman Dave Whelan who once broke his leg in an FA Cup Final...

(Photos:Lynne Cameron/PA Wire)

Newcastle Chronicle Newspaper Roll With Epic Kinnear-Bashing Front Page (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the wonderfully partisan front page of today's Newcastle Chronicle...

We're getting mixed messages here guys. Which side are you on exactly?

Caption This: Pirlo And Balotelli Share Some Choice Bench Banter…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Pies says:"The Roman-style communal toilets were an instant hit at the Italy training camp"

You say?

25 Footballers With Pretty Ridiculous Nicknames – Onions, Lamp Posts, Hobbits & Smiling Rabbits

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

In the absence of anything else happening, here's a cheeky l'il look at some of the most ridiculous nicknames ever bestowed to the footballing fraternity...

1. Cristian "ElCebolla/The Onion" Rodriguez:So called because his fancy feet made defenders cry back in his Penarol days.

Confederations Cup Snapshot: Tiny Tahiti Make History With Debut Goal…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

They may well have shipped six at the other end, but last night against Nigeria the largely part-time Tahitian national side made history by scoring their first ever goal in their first ever appearance at a major international tournament whenJonathan Tehau (the oldest of the four members of the Tehau clan) rose above Efe Ambrose to nod home a corner at the back stick for the Pacific island nation side ranked 138th in the world.

‘Yohan Kebab’ – Joe Kinnear Once Again Struggles With Pronunciation During First Interview Upon Newcastle Return

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Sound the big words out Joe, sound them out

Quite why Mike Ashley thought bringing him back into the fold was a good idea is beyond us, but Big Fat Joe F**king Kinnear is back at Newcastle as director of football, four-and-a-bit years after a heart attack saw his sweary reign as manager at St James' Park brought to an abrupt end.

Snapshot: Two Brazilian Kids Enjoy Picturesque Kickabout With Dad On Fortaleza Beach…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Beats dodging dog turds on The Rec...

"Children play soccer with their father at Mucuripe beach in Fortaleza, Brazil, Sunday, June 16, 2013. Fortaleza is a host city of the Confederations Cup match between Brazil and Mexico next Wednesday, June 19.

New Warrior Football Boots Feature ‘Gloryholes’ For Use In ‘Sticky Situations’

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

From the same company that bought you Liverpool's new hallucination-inducing away and third strips, Warrior's brand new Gambler boot line includes, along with other nonsense features such as "outsider zones", "ace plates" and "loaded decks", state of the art "gloryhole"technology specifically designed for use in "sticky situations".

Premier League Transfer Targets It’s Worth Getting To Know, #4: Geoffrey Kondogbia

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Standing at 6'3″-and-a-bit,Geoffrey Kondogbia currently of Sevilla, seen above during his time at RC Lens is the kind of big, brawny, brutish central midfielder that Premier League clubs fud themselves cross-eyed over.

Imposing and industrious, Kondogbia has inevitably drawn comparisons with Yaya Toure and while the 20-year-old French midfielderdefinitely shares a raft of physical traits with the Man City gargantuan, it's also fair to say he's an awful lot more "rough around the edges" than the Yayamonster (who, let's be right, isn't the most polished player in the first place), though that's possibly not surprising what with him being a clear decade the Ivorian's junior and all.

Stupendous Bernard Parker ‘Bullet Header’ Own-Goal All But Knocks South Africa Out Of World Cup Qualifying (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

With the scores level at 1-1 and having already scored once at the right end, South Africa striker Bernard Parker scored an absolutely world class own-goal to put Ethiopia 2-1 up against Bafana Bafana...

POW! What a connection!

Parker's stupendous bullet header OG eventually saw Ethiopia snaffle victory and therefore qualify for the African World Cup qualifying play-offs at the expense of South Africa, with the 2010 hosts being effectively knocked out as Ethiopia cannot be caught in Group A.

Football GIF: Luis Suarez Scores Lovely Consolation Freekick vs Spain

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Uruguay found themselves on the wrong end of a "Spaining" in the second of Sunday night's Confederations Cup group fixtures, but Luis Suarez did save a bit of face by wrapping his foot round a sweet freekick to pull one back for U-R-GAY in the last ten minutes which just tickled the post on the way past Saint Iker.

Confederations Cup: Andrea Pirlo Pings In Beautiful Freekick On 100th Italy Cap vs Mexico (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

On his 100th appearance in the Azzurri, Andrea Pirlo opened the scoring in Italy's first game at the 2013 Confederations Cup by pinging a characteristically classy 25-yard freekick past Mexico 'keeper Jose Corona, faintly tickling the post as it went by...

Chicharito leveled from the penalty spot just eight minutes later before Mario Balotelli prodded in Italy's winner in the 78th minute celebrating with a power flex and picking up a yellow card for his troubles.

Man City Claim Scouting Network Database Hacked By Rival Club

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

HACK ATTACK

According to this morning's Daily Mirror, Manchester City's scouts are up in arms over suspicions that the club's super secret scouting database may have been hacked by an employee of another club possibly a Premier League rival.

Given that the Arsenal first-team squad is freely available on Wikipedia, we merely assumed City didn't have any use for such a network, butapparently the club believe their online "Scout7″ performance analysis system – ­which accumluates and stores detailed scouting reports of every player the club have ever targeted around the world has been infiltrated, with Etihad executivesbringing in "espionage experts" to investigate the security breach and track down the hackers responsible.

Neymar Declares 2013 Confederations Cup Open With Top Corner-Seeking Golazo In First Minute vs Japan (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Two minutes into Brazil's opening game against Japan, Neymar does this...

Woof!

Euro U21s: Spain U21 Darling Isco Scores Magical Toe Poke vs Norway (Video + Bonus GIF)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views

By Chris Wright

Another stonking piece of play from the darling of the Spanish U21 set up, Isco, who has been the square route of fan-friggin'-tastic at the European U21 Championship so far...

Again in GIF form...

+1 for the super duper toe poke finish. Textbook stuff.

Lionel Messi Ties Then Surpasses Diego Maradona’s International Goal Record With Hat-Trick vs Guatemala (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Argentina beat Guatemala 4-0 in a friendly last night with Lionel Messi scoring a hat-trick on his triumphant return to the national side in a less than taxing affair for the Albiceleste.

Messi's first goal was a bit of a cracker in its own right but it was his second, a penalty, which took on added significance as it saw the Barcelona Ewok draw level alongside Diego Maradona in the all-time Argentina goalscoring stakes on 34 goals in 11 fewer caps.

Falcao Teams Up With Puma And Hublot To Create Limited Edition EvoSpeed Boots – Yours For Just $40,000! (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Puma have joined forces with Radamel Falcao and fancy watchmakers (and official 2014 World Cup timekeepers) to produce a limited edition EvoSpeed boot to coincide with the one-year countdown to the biggy in Brazil next summer.

With Falcao and Hublot now in cahoots thanks to a personalendorsement agreement, the bespoke boots have been designed to accompany a new limited edition line of top-end watches that bear Falcao's personal seal of approval.

Manuel Pellegrini Finally Sworn In As Man City Manager After Shaking Down Malaga For Their Loose Change

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

It's been in the offing for weeks now Christ, the man's even made two signings! but Manchester City have now finally officially been able to swear in Manuel Pellegrini as their new manager after the Chilean reached a settlement with former club Malaga over the monies they owe him.

Around The Grounds: Princes Park, Dartford FC’s Eco-Friendly Wooden Stadium

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

We're plumping for something a little bit different for this week's Around the Grounds, with a visit toBlue Square Bet Premier side Dartford FC and their 4,100-capacity Princes Park ground one of the "most ecologically sound stadiums ever built" if you believe the blurb, and why would you not?

Classic Football Songs: ‘The Tony Pulis Rap’ By Goldie Lookin Chain (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

We can't imagine there are many Tony Pulis tribute tracks knocking around out there but we must admit that this totally passed us by at the time back in 2011, Welsh hip-hop collective Goldie Lookin Chain released a song in honour of then-Stoke City manager Pulis ("he manages Stoke, he's a hell of a bloke," etc, etc).

Friday Flashback: 20 Magnificent Assorted Vintage Football Stickers – Vol #38

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Friday Flashback XXXVIII:Escape From LA...

As per usual, mucho thankos to Old School Panini (@OldSchoolPanini) for letting us rifle through their archives yet again.

More Friday Flashback goodness on Pies.

UFC Hardnut Anderson Silva Stars In Brilliant ‘What If?’ Caper About Childhood Dream Of Playing For Brazil (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views

By Chris Wright

In which UFC hardnut Anderson Silva (who is signed to Real Ronaldo's 9ine sports management agency) stars in a really rather good yarn about what it'd be like if he'd realised his childhood dream of playing for Brazil instead of opting to punch people's lights out for a living.

Liverpool’s New Purple 2013/14 Third Kit Is Just As Gruesome As Their New Away Strip (Leaked Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views

By Chris Wright

Hats off to Warrior, who have really gone all out to saddle Liverpool with a range of dreadful kits for next season.

With 'Pool's nasty away kit already unveiled, photos have now leaked of what is now officially thought to be the club's third strip for 2013/14 and, yes, it's the utterly gruesome black/white/purple angular design that has been floating around for the past month or so.

Lionel Messi Tax Fraud Charges Get The Old ‘Taiwanese Animated News’ Treatment (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

As you've probably heard by now, Lionel Messi and his father are currently being investigated by the Spanish authorities over allegations of tax fraud to the tune of€4million.

With all the tricky legal jargon and dizzying sums of money involved you, like us, no doubt found it all a bit hard to fathom.

Chelsea Sign Andre Schurrle From Bayer Leverkusen – Because They’re Short Of A Few Attacking Midfielders

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

"Gimme, gimme, gimme, fried chicken!"

Chelsea have just confirmed that Andre Schurrle will sign for the club once all the usual transfer gubbins are taken care of, thus becoming Jose Mourinho's first signing in his second stint at Stamford Bridge though the wheels were set in motion long before Mou waltzed back into town.

Top 10 Young(ish) Players To Watch Out For At 2013 Confederations Cup

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Greg Evans

The Confederations Cup is a strange little tournament. Comprising the winners of the six major FIFA tournaments (UEFA, CONMEBOL, CONCACFA, CAF, AFC, OFC) the World Cup winners and even the UEFA runners up, its essentially the Cup Winners Cup for International teams a "miniature World Cup" if you will.

Zlatan Calls Faroe Islands National Team ‘A Bunch Of Fisherman’, Slyly Chucks Ball In Keeper’s Face (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Ibra, lost in a blissful daydream about crushing baby birds with his bare hands

Sweden beat the Faroe Islands 2-0 in a World Cup qually on Tuesday evening with Zlatan Ibrahimovic scoring both goals, but the game didn't pass without the Ibradiva riling up his opponents to the hilt, sledging the Faroes team by allegedly repeatedly calling them a "bunch of fishermen" throughout the game.

Enzo Jimenez (Despicable Dog-Throwing Argentinian Player) Has Contract Torn Up By His Club

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 5 views

By Chris Wright

Great news for all the dog lovers/staunch anti-intolerable moron brigade out there: Enzo Jimenez, the Argentinian footballer who attempted to chuck a pitch-invading dog over the stadium fencing by its neck, has had his contract terminated by his club.

‘Women Should Be Silent In Public’ – Australia Coach Holger Osieck Mutters Something Incredibly Stupid During Press Conference (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

With the Socceroos moving to within three points of qualifying for the 2014 World Cup with a 4-0 win over Jordan on Tuesday evening, coach Holger Osieck (who was Franz Beckenbauer's No.2 at Italia '90) rode in on a wave of high spirits and treated the assembled media at his post-match press conference to a fabulous burst of sexist latin.

Man City And Chelsea Target Edinson Cavani Nets Classy Goal For Uruguay Vs. Venezuela (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Alan Duffy

This game may have happened on Tuesday night but I thought it still worth popping up for your perusal.

Edinson Cavani, he of the long flowing locks and powerhouse goal-scoring, is one of the most wanted players in Europe right now, with Premier League big guns Chelsea and Man City after the 24-year-old's signature, although Real Madrid now look to be in pole position to purchase the player.

O Rei Do Gol: 16 Magnificent Photos Of Romario In His Pomp

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

For absolutely no reason other than we felt like it, here's a gallery chock-full of photos of legendary Brazilian goal-hoarder Romario in his regal pomp (click on each for the magnificent full-size images)...

As a bit of a bonus, here's seven or so minutes of O Rei do Gol's best bits for you to slaver over.

Argentinian Player Enzo Jimenez Sent Off For Extreme Cruelty To Pitch-Invading Dog (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 5 views

By Chris Wright

Like the berk who kicked the encroaching owl in Colombia, a player Enzo Jimenez of Argentinian regional side Club Bella Vista to be precise found himself ejected from the pitch at the weekend for severe animal cruelty.

During the game in Tucuman, a dog meandered onto the field and brought play to a halt.

Manuel Neuer Lands Role In German Version Of ‘Monsters University’, Pixar’s Sequel To ‘Monsters Inc.’ (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Not content with being one of the finest goalkeepers on the planet, Manuel Neuer has been keeping himself out of trouble by dabbling in a bit of voice acting on the side landing a part in the German dub of the sequel to Pixar classic "Monsters, Inc.", called "Monsters University", in which he plays superstar scarerFrank McCay a role played by The American Office'sJohn Krasinski in the American version.

Man City Announce Day Of Mourning As Long-Serving Club Cat ‘Wimblydon’ Dies Of Old Age

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

The flags at Man City's Carrington training ground are all flying at half mast today after it was announced that long-serving official club cat "Wimblydon" had died, aged just 14 (estimated).

Brought in on a free transfer as a stray nearly 13 years ago, the cat was originally given the name "Puss" by the City staff, but all that changed shortly thereafter when the cat moseyed into reception one day just as formerfitness coach Juan Carlos Osario, struggling with his pronunciation, mentioned that City were due to play "Wimblydon" later that week.

Wesley Sneijder Scores Lovely Tricky Dicky Backheel vs China (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Holland are currently pottering round Asia on a friendly mini-tour, with their second game coming against China in Beijing having already beaten Indonesia at the weekend.

Playing with their names etched in Chinese on the backs of their shirts, the Dutch went 1-0 up early on through a Robin van Persie penalty in the 11th minute with Wesley Sneijder adding the second goal in the second half by way of a very swish spinning backheel.

Javier Mascherano Sent Off For Kicking First Aid Cart Driver vs Ecuador (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 5 views

By Chris Wright

Last night's World Cup qualifier between Ecuador and Argentina in Quito was a feisty old ding-dong, with the game finishing up at 1-1 with the visitors reduced to 10 men in the final few minutes when Javier Mascherano was sent-off for kicking out at the first aid cart driver while being ferried to the sidelines for treatment.

Euro U21s: Israel 1-0 England – Pointless Campaign Ends In Defeat As Young Lions Beaten By Israel (Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy

Israel 1-0 England UEFA 2013 U21 Finals 11th June 2013

No doubt Stuart Pearce et al will bemoan the lack of an Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain or a Jack Rodwell, but even with the limited squad he had at his disposal, the England U21 boss surely should have been able to orchestrate a win against Israel.

Football Tat: Presenting Possibly The Greatest/Worst Club Merchandise Ever – Arsenal Jeans!

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Would you just look at these things...

These things aren't official club merchandise or commercially available (thank heaven for small mercies!), but they are the brainchild of Duval Timothy over on Flickr.The world thanks you Timothy!

Man Utd Accidentally ‘Confirm’ Robert Lewandowski Signing On Club Website, Immediately Delete Article

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Like they did with the announcement that David Moyes was to be their new manager, Manchester United's PR team have once again jumped the gun in posting an article confirming the purchase of Robert Lewandowski on their official club website before deleting almost immediately.

FIFA 14 ‘Next Generation’ Gameplay Trailer With Messi, Xavi, Cesc, Pique And Iniesta (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Hot on the heels of the features list and gameplay trailer comes yet another FIFA 14 teaser clip from EA Sports, which this time focuses on the new "Pro Instincts" feature that sees all the next generation of FIFA 14 players bestowed withfour times the decision making ability than they had in FIFA 13.

Premier League Transfer Targets It’s Worth Getting To Know, #3: Clement Grenier

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views

By Chris Wright

After a stellar, Player of the Year-worthy breakthrough season for Lyon in 2012/13 it looks for all the world like prodigiously talented Clement Grenier is moving on this summer, with Arsenal being repeatedly linked with a dabble on the player OL fans refer to asJuninho Pernambucano's "Little Brother".

Luis Suarez Reiterates Desire To Leave Liverpool Because Of The Nasty, Horrible English Media

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Down at the end of Lonely Street

Luis Suarez wants to leave Liverpool because he is better than them. He knows he's able to play a much higher level than "upper mid-table" and would like to do so. He wants to play for Real Madrid.

All this is fine and too be expected of a man who is clearly an entire strata of talent better than almost all of his teammates.

Shit Lookalikes: Iago Aspas & Wally (From ‘Rocket Monkeys’)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Aspas is the scowly Spanish striker on the verge of joining Liverpool from Celta Vigo for £7million.

Wally is one half of the Rocket Monkeys, like you needed us to tell you that!

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies?

Rumour Has It That Tony Pulis May Have Applied For The Athletic Bilbao Job

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

An airbourne pig suddenly catches Tony's eye

There's nothing concrete as yet but Twitter is crawling this morn with whispers that Tony Pulis may have applied for the Athletic Bilbao job, which will become vacant when Marcelo Bielsa's contract runs out at the end of the month.

Celtic’s Anthony Stokes Faces Jailhouse Shock As Striker Is Accused Of Assaulting Elvis Impersonator

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Alan Duffy

Bradley and Stokes just minutes before the alleged attack

Elvis tribute-actTribute act Anthony Bradley, 49, has accused Celtic hitman Anthony Stokes of attacking him in a Dublin nightclub.

The attack left Bradley all shook up and with a broken nose.

Lazio Fans Hold Mock Funeral Procession (Complete With Priest And Coffin) For Roma After Beating Them In Coppa Italia Final

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

With Lazio having beaten Roma 1-0 in the first ever all-Rome Coppa Italia Final last weekend, hordes of Lazio fans took to the streets of the Italian capital over the weekend to stage a full-scale mock funeral for their despised city rivals complete with a priest, a coffin, weeping widows and a sombre procession through the streets.

Bristol Rovers Apologise For Wrongly Announcing The Death Of Their Kitman

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Bristol Rovers have issued an apology after wrongly announcing that the club's long-serving kitman had died on on their website last week.

Rovers' kitman of the last ten-plus years, Roger Hardin, has been ill in hospital of late but the Pirates' club website went that one step further and announced Roger had passed away on Friday evening leading to a rather awkward statement having to be released when it turned out he very much hadn't died at all.

Belgrano Keeper Stops San Martin Striker In Tracks With Laser-Guided Studder To The Gonads (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

One for the gentlemen to wince over now, in which Belgrano 'keeper Juan Carlos OlavePrimera stops San Martin Claudio Riano during Saturday's Argentinian PrimeraDivision match with a supremely accurate, laser-guided, studs-up straight legger to the dangly bits.

Snapshot: Jose’s Back…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

He's back...

We'll spare you the borderline-erotic details, but Mourinho's first press conference on his return to the Bridge is currently underway and the nation's football press are, as you'd expect, quickly turning into an orgy of sycophancy.

Basically it's a hundred-strong throng of repressed adult males frothing themselves into an ecstatic frenzy over the middle-aged Portuguese bloke you see above.

Premier League Transfer Targets It’s Worth Getting To Know, #2: Kevin Strootman

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

On second thoughts, we're not sure if it's wise to let Strootman and Phil Jones play together

Not that he's particularlykeen to talk about it, but it looks like Kevin Strootman may be on Manchester United's radar again this summer, with the PSV midfielder presenting an altogether cheaper and more attainable alternative to Cesc Fabregas, who is also being mentioned in passing perhaps more unrealistically.

Classic Moment: Phil Neville Nobbles Cristiano Ronaldo, 2008 (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Phil "Chopper Nev" Neville officially called it quits yesterday, retiring from the game after 18 years in the business and, to mark his passing into the golfing hereafter, we thought we'd revisit his career pinnacle the day, by his own admission, he stopped being "The Manc" at Everton and was instantly accepted as an honourable Evertonian.

Three Lebanese Referees Jailed For Accepting Sexy Times In Return For Match-Fixing

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Here's a bit of follow-up to a story we featured on Pies a couple of months ago, in that three Lebanese match officials have been jailed after pleading guiltyto accepting free sexy times from a global match-fixing/gambling syndicate, who provided prostitutes in return for a match being thrown in Singapore back in April a fiddle for a fiddle, if you will.

Shit Lookalike: Phil Jones & Stuart Hogg

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Hogg is the aptly named gargoyle-faced Scottish egg-chaser currently on tour with the Lions.

Jones is the Man Utd defender whose demented face appears to be possessed by a Rancor.

Cracking spot from Scott Riley.

The New Non-Striped PSV Eindhoven 2013/14 Home Kit Is A Mighty Handsome Devil (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

For the first time since 1988, PSV have ditched the stripes for their new 2013/14 home strip and will play in this handsome all-red bugger next season in what will be the Dutch club's centennial year...

Now ain't that purdy?

Jordan Beat Kuwait 21-0 In Women’s World Cup Qualifier Thanks To Truly Horrendous Goalkeeping Display! (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

If you're getting beaten 21-0 you know there's probably something a bit iffy about your defence. In the case of Kuwait's women's side, it was definitely their 'keeper, who filed what must go down as one of the worst goalkeeping displays ever as Kuwait absolutely ran roughshod (they were 6-0 up after 20 minutes) over her during their recent World Cup qualifier.

Euro U21s: Bored Norway Fan Passes The Time By Knitting vs England (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Obviously not engrossed by the action as bottom-of-the-group England flibbled out of the European U21 Championships against the vastly superior Norway last night, the result was such a foregone conclusion that this Norwegian fan took to passing the time by catching up on her knitting.

Euro U21s: England 1-3 Norway – Pearce’s Protégés Exit Finals With A Whimper (Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Alan Duffy

England 1-3 Norway UEFA Euro U21 Finals 8th June 2013

Stuart Pearce's England youngsters produced a feeble performance against Norway on Saturday, going down by a 3-1 scoreline, a result which sees them go out of the tournament with barely even a whimper.

Premier League Unveil List Of Players Released By Clubs This Summer: Andrei Arshavin, William Gallas and David Bentley Among the Cast-Offs

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Alan Duffy

There are 154 names in total in the Premier League's official list of released players, which was published today, with some rather interesting names.

Forgotten men Florent Malouda, Roque Santa Cruz, Denilson and David Bentley all finally shown the door.

Belgium Captain Vincent Kompany Played 60 Minutes Against Serbia With Broken Nose, Concussion And A Cracked Eye Socket

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Vincent Kompany took a thump in the chops from Serbia 'keeperVladimir Stojkovic with about half-an-hour gone of Belgium's 2-1 win over their World Cup Qualifying Group A rivals.

The blow made Kompany visibly woozy but the Belgian captain was back on the pitch after a couple of minutes of blood-letting on the touchlines and played on for the rest of the game without any noticeable issues.

Robbie Keane 3-0 Faroe Islands: Keano Become Fifth Highest Scorer In European Football On Record 126th Appearance (Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

All hail Robbie Keane: IRISH GOUT LEGEND

He may be little more that an "unidentified fan" Stateside, but Robbie Keane cemented his place as a bona fide Irish hero yesterday evening by cracking in a hat-trick against the Faroe Islands on his 126th appearance for the Republic passing Shay Given's all-time cap record and becoming the fifth highest goalscorer in the history of European football in the process.

Mario Balotelli Harshly Sent-Off vs Czech Republic, Thrashes Seven Shades Out Of Tunnel In Frustration (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Last night's World Cup qualifier between Italy and Czech Republic finished in a pretty drab (fun fact: Italy didn't manage a single shot on target) goalless stalemate, but not before Mario Balotelli got himself sent-off 18 minutes from time after picking up two yellow cards in the space of four minutes.

Claudio Pizarro Scores Astounding ‘Reverse Acute Angle’ Volley vs Ecuador (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Well, well. Looky here. Peru's veteran goal poacher Claudio Pizarro scored a really rather wonderful hooked reverse volley from an acute angle against Ecuador last night the only goal in his country's 1-0 win...

Was our Claudio happy with his handiwork?

Transfer Toss: Chelsea Playing Footsy With Edinson Cavani And Hulk Under The Table

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Lockjaw is a problem that affects two men in every ten under the age of 30

According to none other than Napoli's president himself,Aurelio De Laurentiis, Chelsea have made the first move in a bid to sign Edinson Cavani the man who is now within 11 goals of breaking Diego Maradona's all-time scoring record (115 goals) for the club despite having been there for four fewer seasons.

‘I Wouldn’t Trust Arsene Wenger With Any Money’ – Talksport’s Stewart Robson Has Pop At Gunners Boss

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Alan Duffy

Stewart Robson in happier times, before his relationship with Arsenal turned sour

Surely in the running for the award for being the most bitter man in football, Talksport pundit Stewart Robson has had yet another go at Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, this time over the Frenchman's record in the transfer market.

Snapshot: Lifelong Fan Given Cambridge City FC’s Dugout As Wedding Present

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Cambridge City FC are currently in the process of flogging off whichever bits of their old Milton Road stadium people are willing to pay good money for as they prepare to ground-share with Histon FC next season.

As such, a group of former City physio and club secretaryJohn Aves' mates decided that, rather than the usual Soda Stream or cutlery set, they'd get their buddy a piece of proper memorabilia as a wedding present: the entire length of Milton Road's perspex dugout!

Mario Götze Sues Three German Rappers For €70,000 Over Anti-Götze Song, ‘Have You Got What You Want Now?’

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

According to ruminations emanating from Germany, Mario Götze's legal representatives are currently in the process of suing three German rappers for a song they've released that berates the former Borussia Dortmund starlet's decision to jump ship and join despised rivals Bayern Munich a week or four ago.

Friday Flashback: 20 Magnificent Assorted Vintage Football Stickers – Vol #37

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Friday Flashback XXXVII: At World's End...

Ben Stiller in Dodgeball...

Once again, many many many thanks to Old School Panini (@OldSchoolPanini) for letting us plunder their archives yet again. Nous vous aimons beaucoup!

Shit Football Kits: FC Martigues’ Bloody Brilliant ‘Jurassic Park’ Kit, 1993

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

When Ocean launched their Jurassic Park video game in 1993 (the same year the film was released) for some reason they chose newly promoted Ligue 1 side FC Martigues as the only football club whose shirts they wished to adorn with their new product.

The result was this glorious creation.

Man City Spaff £34m On Fernandinho – A Whole Lot Of Wasted Spondoolicks?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Seems like getting their bum bums paddled by their cross-city rivals in the Premier League last season has put a rocket up Manchester City, with the club already chucking £51 million at the problem to bring in former (we're assured) chronic homesickness-sufferer Jesus Navas from Sevilla and the man they call Fernandinho from Shakhtar Donetsk.

Two Bookings In Four Seconds See Ukraine U21′s Olesandr Noyok Sent Off For Unfortunately Awful First Touch (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Neither Ukraine or Austria qualified for theEuropean U21 Championship that is rumbling on in Israel as we speak, so the pair got together for a friendly on Wednesday evening.

The game finished 1-0 to Austria, who won theLobanowsky Memorial Cup (?) as a result, but only after Ukraine had been reduced to ten men with just 35 minutes on the clock whenOlesandr Noyok picked up two yellow cards in the space of four seconds.

Brazil’s Marcelo And Hernanes Bust Out Their Finest Capoeira Moves During Training Session (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Rather than your bog standard shuttle runs or piggy-in-the-middle, Brazil pair Marcelo and Hernanes instead went all "Eddy Gordo" during yesterday's pre-France friendly training session and showcased their finest capoeira chops before having a good old laugh at Neymar's pathetic attempts.

Germany And Netherlands Serve Up Tasty Five-Goal Thriller At Euro U21 Finals (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy

While Stuart Pearce was once again bemoaning the lack of young English talent available to him for the Euro U21 Finals (rather than the fact he is an outdated dinosaur of a manager), Germany and the Netherlands were concocting a rather entertaining game in their 'Group of Death'.

Wayne Rooney Deemed The Perfect Face To Advertise ‘Mister Potato’ (Photo)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Spotted somewhere in Malaysia, here's a particularly apt ad campaign for 'Mister Potato' crisps featuring the most root vegetable-esque player on Manchester United's books (at least since Gabriel "Parsnip" Obertan upped and left), Wayne Rooney the man that looks uncannily like his own knee.

Rory Delap Released By Stoke: Farewell You Heroic, Gibbon-Armed Trebuchet Of A Man! (Tribute Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

It's no surprise that Stoke fell apart last season after letting Rory Delap go out on loan to Barnsley. Soon as their half-man, half-trebuchet leaves, Pulis and the boys plummet. You could see it coming a mile off.

Strange then, that after learning their lesson the hard way, instead of reinstating Delap to the first XI post haste, Stoke have now released him after seven illustrious years at The Britannia.

Around The Grounds: Molineux, Home Of Wolverhampton Wanderers

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

For this week's Around the Grounds photo essay we're off to the Black Country for a look around the Molineux Stadium with all it's mad "old gold" scaffolding, home of Wolverhampton Wanderers since1889 the year after Wolves both competed in and scored the very first goal (against Villa of all clubs) of the inaugural Football League season.

Chelsea 2013/14 Away Kit Revealed – Apparently It’s Not White, It’s Blue (Spoiler: It’s White)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Having launched their new home kit among a grizzly tidal wave of Smurf blood a couple of weeks ago,Chelsea have finally gotten round to lifting the lid on their away kit for next season and here it is...

LIES!!!

Very nice, reminiscent of some of the recent Holland away kits with the red, white and blue detailing which is a nod to Chelsea's similarly-coloured change strips from the very early 1960s.

Per Mertesacker Showboats His Way Past Didier Drogba At Michael Ballack’s Testimonial (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views

By Chris Wright

Like a ballet-dancing giraffe calf, here's Per Mertesacker yes, *that* Per Mertesacker dancing his way past Didier Drogba and out of trouble in his own goal area during Michael Ballack's testimonial game last night with a Zidane-esque "roulette"...

What a beautiful man.

FIFA 14: EA Sports Tease Us With New Features List And Official Gameplay Trailer (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

As sent out by EA Sports themselves this morning, here's the official FIFA 14 gameplay factsheet for those of you who wish to peruse exactly what gameplay features, updates and tweaks the latest FIFA game will be bestowed with including the new "precision movement" feature which is designed to make every single step, shot and shimmy as realistic as possible.

Liverpool’s Luis Suarez Nets Classy Goal As Uruguay Beat France 1-0 In Montevideo (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy

The Premier League's pantomime villain-in-chief, Luis Suarez, bagged a rather fine goal against France in Montevideo on Wednesday night.

Outmuscling Porto youngsterEliaquim Mangala, second-half sub Suarez finished superbly with the outside of his right boot to give Uruguay a 1-0 win.

Roberto Martinez Appointed Everton Manager On Four-Year Deal

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

After weeks and weeks of umming and ahhing, Everton have just confirmed that Roberto Martinez has been sworn in as their new manager having signed up for four years at Goodison this afternoon.

A statement on the Everton site confirmed all the brass tacks:

"Everton Football Club is today delighted to confirm the appointment of Roberto Martinez as its next manager.

Gale Force Winds See Italian Serie D Keeper Beaten By His Own Goal Kick (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

In which, during the recent Serie D match betweenIschia and Delta Porto Tolle, Ischia's 'keeper attempts to lump one up-field to alleviate the pressure only to see his own punted clearance loop backwards, bounce awkwardly and finish up in the back of his own net.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic 0-1 Swedbank Arena Crossbar (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Sverige beat Macedonia 1-0 in a friendly on Monday evening, though it really should have been a bigger winning margin as Ola Toivonen squandered a glorious chance to add a second in the final few minutes when the Blonde Bomber rounded the 'keeper and shanked a dreadful shot wide andover with Zlatan screaming for it in the middle.

New Man Utd 2013/14 Home Kit Unveiled – Still Contains Worrying Traces Of Gingham (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Nike and Manchester United have just pulled the trigger on their new home kit for next season, which is thankfully a load less "tablecloth-y" than last year's dismal effort though gingham elements do remain for 2013/14.

You'll be glad to know that it's been released with the usual hot blast of design department guff have a read:

"Next season.

Premier League Transfer Targets It’s Worth Getting To Know, #1: Henrikh Mkhitaryan

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Welcome to the first in Pies' new summer series, in which we cast our beady peepers over the names being linked with summer moves to the Premier League in a bit to acquaint you a little better.

First up is a man with a potentially tricky surfeit of vowels in his name.

Crystal Palace Cheerleaders Perform ‘Glad All Over’ In Varying States Of Undress (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views

By Chris Wright

Crystal Palace's in-house cheerleading battalion The Crystals have teamed up with their Jacksonville Jaguars counterparts to produce a rendition of The Dave Clark Five's happy-clappy 1960s pop nugget "Glad All Over" (Palace's club anthem) in various states of gyrating, bikini-clad undress.

Snapshot: Jose Enrique Absolutely Over The Moon With Liverpool’s New Kit…

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Our Jose is made up with his new work clothes, la...

We feel like he might be trying to tell us something with his eyes.

(Via @Spanish_Anfield on the Twitter)

Genoa President Enrico Preziosi Doesn’t Take Kindly To Prying Journalist, Kicks Him In Shins And Smashes His Camera (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Rumours are circulating in Italy at the moment that Genoa presidentEnrico Preziosi is planning on selling the Serie A club and as such found himself descended upon in the street by a camera-toting journalist from local paper Il Secolo XIX.

The Genoa boss didn't take too kindly to this prying and approached the reporter, swiftly kicked him in the shins, nabbed his camera and hurled it against the floor.

Liverpool FC Unleash ‘Interesting’ New Away Strip For 2013-14 (Photos & Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Alan Duffy

Looking on Twitter in the hour or so since Liverpool's new away was unveiled, the Reds' faithful are less than impressed.

I won't describe what the new Warrior kit looks like as you can see for yourselves, but what seems to be bothering most unimpressed fans is the rather odd chevron/flecked pattern on both the outfield and goalkeeper shirts, which rather reminds me of an Argyle sweater.

Norway U21s Attempt To Snag Business Class Flight Upgrade By Singing Barbershop Quartet, Fail Heroically

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

"Ba-ba-ba, ba-Barbara Ann"

With the team in transit from Oslo to Tel Aviv for the upcomingEuropean U21 Championship, a gaggle of the Norway U21s noticed that there was space in the business class section of their Turkish Airlines flight and immediately began spawning a cunning ruse to weasel their way in from economy.

Snapshot: Sunday League Team Duckpond FC Celebrate League Win With Proper Open-Top Bus Parade

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Cracking stuff here from Sunday League side Duckpond FC who celebrated winning theColchester Sunday League Division Two title (just a season after winning Division Three) by clubbing together and spending £300 on an hour-long open-top bus parade around their home town of Harwich, Essex on Saturday afternoon.

Shit Football Kits: Boca Juniors Keeper Carlos Navarro Montoya And His ‘Cartoon Truck’ Eyesore, 1996/97

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Believe it or not, this is quite a flattering photo of former Boca Juniors goalkeeperCarlos Navarro Montoya, a man who isknown as "El Mono", i.e, "The Monkey" in Argentina for obvious reasons largely because helooks like the unholy, partially-mutated three-way lovechild of Nick Cave, Mark Knopfler and Wolf from Gladiators.

Classic Moments: Pablo Aimar & Roman Riquelme Run Rings Around England U20s, 1997 (Videos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

We're skipping back to the 1997 U20 World Cup in Malaysia here, when England's young'ns took on eventual winners Argentina in the Round of 16 and promptly had their sunburnt pink little arses handed to them by a side that included, among others, Pablo Aimar, Juan Roman Riquelme, Esteban Cambiasso and Walter Samuel (yes, he was under 20 years of age once upon a time at least that's what it says here).

Didi Hamann Recalls The Day Sven-Goran Eriksson Delivered The Coolest Line In Football Folklore History

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

"You need people like me so you can point your f**kin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy!"

Dietmar Hamann's new book, "The Didi Man: My Love Affair with Liverpool", is being serialised in the Daily Mirror this morning, and one excerpt contains what is surely the single greatest line ever uttered within the football sphere, delivered by Mr Cool Bollocks himself, Sven-Goran Eriksson:

"A man of such charm and sophistication that had the James Bond character been Swedish, then it would surely have been modelled on him.

Zinedine Zidane Reunites France ’98 World Cup-Winning Team To Play Against Fourth Division Club

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

"We simply must do this again in 15 years' time"

Having recently invested in French fourth division clubRodez Aveyron FC, who are based in his wife's hometown, Zinedine Zidane staged a fundraising match for the team at their ground to help raise a bit of moolah for the club coffers and a local children's charity.

Here’s A ‘Balkan Dancehall’ Ragga Anthem Written In Tribute To Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Thanks to a pair of (one assumes) self-appointed "Balkan dancehall ambassadors" named Sanjin & Youthman, the world has a new song about Zlatan Ibrahimovic in it.

Now, we've got no idea what "Balkan dancehall" should sound like, but we're just going to press ahead and guess that it's a cross between Sean Paul's dismal atonal whinnying and the "trance" demo beat from a Casio keyboard.

Spanish Winger Jesus Navas Joins Man City: A Godsend For Headline Writers

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy

In the first big juicy Premier League transfer of the summer, speedy Spanish wingman Jesus Navas has decided to leave sunny Sevilla for the less balmy Manchester.

The 27-year-old international flyer will cost the Citizens £17million+ and will add a fresh and fleet-footed threat out wide for City, who look certain to sign up coach Manuel Pellegrini in the near future.

Arsenal Players Perform Their Own Hadouken Meme On Asian Tour (Photos)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy

That's the best thing Thomas Vermaelen has done all season

Staying down with da kids, Arsenal's players have climbed aboard the latest internet fad whilst on their tour of the Far East. The Hadouken meme consists of photos of people pretending to have been hit by balls of lightning in a sort of Street Fighter/superhero stylee.

Republic Of Ireland Trio St. Ledger, Kelly & Sammon Face Face Toughest Press Conference Of Their Lives (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Here we see Republic of Ireland threesome Sean St Ledger, Stephen Kelly and Conor "The Fish" Sammon appearing in front of the toughest press conference ever assembled: a room full of 7-10 year-old schoolkids armed with the kind of questions that only 7-10 year-old schoolkids can get away with asking.

One-Legged Charity Football Match Descends Into Mass Punch-Up (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Here's something you don't see everyday: a mass punch-up breaking out in what was presumably supposed to be a good-natured football match played in Westerlo inaid of a mobility charity between a team full of one-legged blokes from Belgium and a team of one-legged blokes from Holland.

It’s Official: Jose Mourinho Returns To Chelsea, Signs Four-Year Contract At Stamford Bridge

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Turns out the treat left on Jose's pillow by Iker Casillas wasn't a chocolate mint after all

It's official people! Jose Mourinho has signed on the dotted line with Chelsea, inking a four-year deal to return to Stamford Bridge.Who'da thunk it?

First Photos: Neymar Arrives At Barcelona To Seal The Deal

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Wearing a personalised "NJR" diamond earring, here's Neymar fresh from playing England in Rio last night pootling up outside Barcelona's 'New Masia' complex to put the finishing touches to his contract, with the eventual fee expected to reach the £50 million-mark once all the stipulations and add-ons are triggered.

Shit Lookalikes: David Moyes & Jeremy Wade (Of ‘River Monsters’ Fame)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Here we go: a proper, old school, actually a bit shit Shit Look-a-like...

Moyes is United's new goggle-eyed Glaswegian gaffer.

Wade catches f**king huge and f**king ugly fish for a living hence his crown.

Good stuff from Pies stalwartTravisKOP.

Man Utd Legends 1-2 Real Madrid Legends: Sir Alex Ferguson Joins In With Mexican Wave At Exhibition Game (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Seems like retirement has leavened Fergie's soul. Here he is engaging in a Mexican Wave at yesterday's Legends game between Manchester United and Real Madrid at Old Trafford...

Sir Bobby got stuck in too...

Should he really be crowdsurfing at his age?

Lothar Matthäus Vows To Come Out Of Retirement If He Gets One Million ‘Likes’ On His Facebook Page

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Having been out of work for nigh-on two years following his dismissal as Bulgaria coach in 2011, it seems spending all day every day on the settee watching Loose Women in a catatonic stupor has finally got toLothar Matthäus.

Despite originally calling time on his playing career almost 13 years ago, the 150-cap former-German international has vowed to come out of retirement and don his boots once again, aged 52, if he gets one million 'likes' on his Facebook page.

Germany Keeper Marc-Andre Ter Stegen Drops Almighty ‘Enckelman’ Clanger vs USA (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

He's universally regarded as one of the more promising young goalkeepers in European football, but Borussia Monchengladbach's Marc-Andre ter Stegen did his rising stock no favours at all last night when he dropped an almighty clanger during Germany's surprise 4-3 defeat against the USA.

Robbie Keane Bags Brace As Ireland Batter 10-Man Georgia In Dublin (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy

Ahead of their World Cup qualifier against the Faroe Islands, the Republic of Ireland coasted to a 4-0 win against Georgia at the Aviva Stadium, with Robbie Keane netting twice along with goals from Richard Keogh and Simon Cox.

However, the home side were helped on their way when Georgian 'keeperGiorgi Loria was sent off after just 20 minutes for fouling Shane Long.

International Friendly: Brazil 2-2 England – Three Lions Dig Out Draw At The Maracana (Photos & Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Alan Duffy

Brazil 2-2 England Friendly International 1st June 2013

What a bizarre game this was at the Maracana Stadium, which thankfully didn't collapse.

Brazil totally outclassed the Three Lions in the first-half but thanks to some superb goalkeeping from Joe Hart, Neymar and co.

Football GIF: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain Nets A Cracker Against Brazil

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Alan Duffy

Arsenal youngster Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain netted himself quite the memorable goal on Sunday evening, firing home against Brazil at the Maracana after nice work from Frankie Lamps and Wazza Rooney.

John Barnes will no longer be the only port of call of English media outlets ahead of an England away game against Brazil.

Chivas USA’s Mario De Luna Scores Spectacularly Naff Own Goal vs Seattle Sounders (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view

By Chris Wright

Under absolutely zilcho pressure, here's how Chivas USA defender Mario de Luna dealt with a cross into his box against Seattle Sounders last night...

Lovely finish.

Premier League Website Jump The Gun, Prematurely Announce Jose Mourinho As Chelsea’s New Manager

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

It's the worst kept secret in football anyway, but the official Premier League website spaffed their wad a bit early today when they accidentally published an article which announced Jose Mourinho's appointment as Chelsea manager, which was stripped down almost immediately after going live.

Snapshot: Bayern Munich Win DFB-Pokal Cup To Complete Historic Treble (With Highlights)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

It got a bit hairy at the end, but Bayern Munich survived a late onslaught from Stuttgart to win the DFB-Pokal cup final yesterday evening with a 3-2 victory, thus completing their domestic and European treble the first time a German side has ever managed the feat in Jupp Heynckes' final game in charge.

Ten of the most interesting Brazil v England matches

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

WITH the renovated Maracanã stadium reduced to well under half its previous capacity, and finally ruled safe for England's match against Brazil – and with the record standing at 11 wins for Brazil, four for England, and nine draws – we look back at ten of the most interesting encounters...

1956: England 4-2 Brazil

Hungary may have thrashed England 6-3 and 7-1 a few years earlier, and England may have been unceremoniously dumped out of the 1954 World cup by the USA, but as far as most people were concerned, the Empire Stadium at Wembley was still the home of football.

Scottish Semi-Pro Side Inverurie Locos Attempt To Sell Player Using Classified Ads In Local Paper

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

We've got no idea if this is standard practice at semi-pro level, but Aberdeen-based Highland Football League side Inverurie Locos Works FC have put a player up for sale using the classified section of their local newspaper...

Don't know why, but that just tickled us.

West Brom’s Gabriel Tamas Caught On CCTV Attempting To Break Into Apartment Block In ‘Advanced State Of Intoxication’ (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

West Brom defender Gabriel Tamas is being held by police in Bucharest and has banned from leaving his home country of Romania for the next 30 days after being arrested trying to force his way into an apartment block early on Saturday morning in what Romanian news sources are reporting as "an advanced state of intoxication.

Andrea Pirlo Pops Gorgeous Freekick In Top Corner As Italy Spank San Marino (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

Italy spanked San Marino 4-0 in an international friendly at Bologna's StadioDall'Ara last night with Andrea Pirlo delving into his magic beard of tricks to provide the evening's highlight with a majestic free-kick, swept into the very top corner with aplomb aplenty.

This Brazilian Chelsea Fan Named His Baby Son ‘Leandro Lampard’ – Or ‘Lampardinho’ To His Friends (Video)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views

By Chris Wright

While knocking about at theBola Pra Frente charity project in Rio, the England entourage were introduced to a Brazilian Chelsea fan by the name ofLeandro Tavares Guedes who loves the Blues so much he even refers to his back garden as "Stamford Bridge."

Oh, and he also named his baby son "Lampardinho".