Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2010

The 15 Most Garish World Cup Kits

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By Ollie Irish

My eyes, my eyes!

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Mexico goalkeeper, 1994



Football Commentators: You Can’t Live With Them…

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By Chris Wright


"One or two of their players aren't getting any younger"

It's no secret. I loathe most football commentators. Not all, but definitely most.

I do not care to recall the amount of times I have been reduced to watching long stretches of televised games in complete silence over the past few years, as a preventative measure taken to quell the acid-reflux caused by those jibber-jabbering morons up in the gantry.

Photos: Japan 1-2 England – Joe Cole & Joe Hart The Real Winners

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By Ollie Irish

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England players Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Michael Dawson (left to right) on the touchline, prior to kick off

On this form England will do well to get out of their World Cup group.

Photos: Millwall 1-0 Swindon Town – Lions Promoted To Championship

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By Ollie Irish

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A Member of the armed forces gets a hug from Swindon Town mascot Rockin' Robin prior to kick off

At the sixth time of asking, Millwall made it all the way through the playoff system. A deserved 1-0 win against Swindon at Wembley means they will play in the Championship next season.

England Play Ugly In ESPN World Cup Gallery – Photos

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OVER in the US, they will be treating the World Cup in much the same way that we in Blighty get behind the Super Bowl – by popping to the shops, doing a spot of DIY and catching up on soaps.

Of course, this being the America, everything will be twice fried and dipped in whale lard.

In Pictures: Republic Of Ireland 3-0 Algeria, International Friendly

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By Ollie Irish

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Algerian fans with a message about Ireland not being in the World Cup during the International Friendly at the RDS Stadium, Dublin.

Ireland continue to beat World Cup-qualified teams, no doubt wanting to prove a point to Monsieur Henry and the rest of France.

Flashback: The Heysel Disaster, 29 May 1985

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By Ollie Irish

Photo: Peter Robinson / EMPICS

Today marks the 25th anniversary of the Heysel disaster, which claimed the lives of 39 supporters. The poor state of the stadium and below-par policing by the Belgians contributed to the disaster, but of course without the fighting between Liverpool and Juve fans, for which a section of the former must take the greater responsibility, it wouldn't have happened.

England Play Ugly In ESPN World Cup Gallery: Photos

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OVER in the US, they will be treating the World Cup in much the same way that we in Blighty get behind the Super Bowl – by popping to the shops, doing a spot of DIY and catching up on soaps.

Of course, this being the America, everything will be twice fried and dipped in whale lard.

The Bumper World Cup Hot Female Fan Gallery

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By Ollie Irish

When there is a lull during a football game, it's now a cliche tradition for broadcasters and photographers to focus on pretty girls in the crowd. Especially during the World Cup. And who are we to argue? Here's a gallery of some hawt (and some not quite so hawt, to be honest) fans and WAGs from World Cups past (watch out for the nipple slip):

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France Confirmed As Hosts For Euro 2016

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By Chris Wright

UEFA have announced that France have been confirmed as hosts for the 2016 European Championships.

A vote cast by UEFA's executive committee saw France hold off competition from Turkey and Italy to secure themselves their first major tournament since they hosted the World Cup in 1998.

Revealed – The Scientific Formula For The Perfect Penalty Kick

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By Chris Wright

Time for a confession. I was never that good at maths (an 8% overall score at A Level will testify to that), and a serendipitous birth defect is the only reason I can count to eleven confidently so you must forgive me the copy-and-paste nature of this article.

The 10 Most Garish World Cup Kits

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By Ollie Irish

My eyes, my eyes!

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Mexico goalkeeper, 1994



Top 10 Goals Of The Season, No.7: Lionel Messi, Barcelona Vs Real Zaragoza, La Liga

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By Ollie Irish

I noticed that the Guardian shortlisted this Messi goal for end-of-season honours, more because of a wonderful through ball by Xavi than for anything Messi did, but for my coin the Messi solo goal posted above is way more impressive.

Messi's unstoppable chip at pace against Arsenal was also in the reckoning, but in the end his goal against Zaragoza sums up Leo better than any other he scored this season.

Jose Mourinho Hints At Moves For Premier League Trio, Man City In Talks With Wolfsburg Striker Edin Dzeko

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By Chris Wright

Bank sodding Holiday. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Former Inter boss Jose Mourinho is set to be installed at the Real Madrid helm just as soon as his parking ticket is validated, and the Portuguese coach has already starting laying out his summer transfer plans.

FA Dismiss Steven Gerrard World Cup Injury Fears

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By Chris Wright

The Football Association have confirmed that England midfielder Steven Gerrard will take full part in training today, after leaving all concerned fearing the worst when he pulled up just 20 seconds into yesterday's session.

Disaster For Ghana – Michael Essien Out Of World Cup With Knee Injury

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By Ollie Irish

Imagine if England lost Wayne Rooney to injury before the World Cup even started. That's the reality facing Ghana fans, who must now come to the terms with the absence of talisman Michael Essien. The Chelsea midfielder has failed to recover in time from a knee injury and won't be risked in South Africa.

World Cup Snapshot: Lucifer The Lion Eats English Football

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By Ollie Irish

Lucifer, a seven-year-old Asian lion, plays with a football painted in England colours in his enclosure at London Zoo. Grrrr.

Photo: Lewis Whyld / PA



Football Commentators: You Can’t Live With Them…

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By Chris Wright


"One or two of their players aren't getting any younger"

It's no secret. I loathe most football commentators. Not all, but definitely most.

I do not care to recall the amount of times I have been reduced to watching long stretches of televised games in complete silence over the past few years, as a preventative measure taken to quell the acid-reflux caused by those jibber-jabbering morons up in the gantry.

World Cup Snapshot: Lucifer The Lion Eats English Football

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By Ollie Irish

Lucifer, a seven-year-old Asian lion, plays with a football painted in England colours in his enclosure at London Zoo. Grrrr.

Photo: Lewis Whyld / PA



The Football WAG Index No.27: Irina Shayk (Cristiano Ronaldo’s New WAG)

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By Ollie Irish

According to the interweb, Cristiano Ronaldo is now dating Russian supermodel Irina Shayk. She's a major upgrade on the skanky likes of Nereida Gallardo, as this bumper gallery (NSFW-ish) shows:

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You're welcome.

Rafa Benitez Dances Like My Dad (With Video Evidence)

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By Ollie Irish

Rafa's guest turn at One Night In Istanbul, a play about Liverpool's 2005 Champions League triumph. Watch and learn, readers:

No no no. No. No no no no no. No... No.



Top 10 Goals Of The Season, No.8 – Benjamin Huggel, FC Basel Vs Zurich, Swiss Super League

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By Ollie Irish

On its own, Huggel's crash-bang finish against Zurich is brilliant. Then you add in the build-up, which is like some Total Football wet dream, and it becomes one of the goals of the season.

Previously...

Top 10 Goals Of The Season, No.

England Manager Fabio Capello Denies Inter Link

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By Chris Wright


England coach Fabio Capello has shrugged off speculation linking him with the soon-to-be-vacant Inter Milan hotseat, and reaffirmed his commitment to the England national side in the process.

Over the past few days, the 63-year-old has been increasingly touted to be the man Inter president Massimo Moratti wants to succeed the Madrid-bound Jose Mourinho at the helm of the Italian giants, but Capello has confirmed that he has no interest in returning to his homeland in the foreseeable future;

"I have a contract with the Football Association and the only way it will finish is if they decide to sack me," Capello is quoted as saying in The Sun.

World Cup Sh*t Lookalikes: Bruno Metsu & Marco Pierre White

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By Ollie Irish

Bruno Metsu is the former head coach of Senegal. He's now the boss of Qatar. MPW is an insufferable chef with an ego even bigger than his bowling-ball head.

Send your Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk



Cardiff Planning Shock Move For Man City’s Craig Bellamy? Arsenal Target Lorient Defender Laurent Koscielny

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By Chris Wright

Love you. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Championship Play-off final 'runners-up' Cardiff City are plotting an ambitious move to bring Manchester City striker Craig Bellamy back to Wales.

Yep, you heard that right.

2010 World Cup Rumours: Diego Maradona Vows To Streak If Argentina Win

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By Chris Wright


"Back in your box you"

Argentina coach Diego Maradona, a man in fine physical condition, has vowed to streak around Buenos Aires should his side triumph at this summer's World Cup.

Win World Cup Tickets! Just Say What You’d Swap For Them…

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Who wants to win a trip to the FIFA World Cup in South Africa? Well, not so much win as trade. What would you trade for World Cup tickets? Your dog? Your wife? Your wife's dog?

Enter here!

Our pals at Hyundai have tickets to give way but will only trade with deserving or desperate fans; or just plain nutcases.

New Celtic Home Shirt, Craig Bellamy To Tottenham, Cool World Cup Kits, Ronaldo Unhappy About Vanity Fair Cover

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!!

The lovely folks at online sweet shop A Quarter Of kindly sent us some tasty samples of their new World Cup-themed sweets, including mini chocolate footballs and candy ref's whistles. Mmmm... [A Quarter Of]

Craig Bellamy is off to Tottenham this summer, 100% [Goaly Moly]

New Celtic home kit is very smart.

The World Cup Years: Republic Of Ireland Striker John Aldridge Loses His Cool, USA 94

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By Ollie Irish

Republic of Ireland vs Mexico at USA 94: Ireland striker John Aldridge has to be restrained by coach Maurice Setters as he indicates to the fourth official how long he has been waiting to take his place on the pitch three whole minutes! as a sub for Tommy Coyne (who had already left the pitch and was sat in the dugout).

Photos: Republic Of Ireland 2-1 Paraguay, International Friendly

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By Ollie Irish

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Republic of Ireland's Robbie Keane (centre) battles Paraguay's Enrique Vera (left) and Antolin Alcaraz (right) for the ball.

Goals by Kevin Doyle and Liam Lawrence saw the Republic of Ireland beat Paraguay in Dublin last night.

Video: Jose Mourinho And Marco Materazzi Share Tearful Goodbye

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By Chris Wright

Bit of a wierd one, it's like the end of a Bette Midler movie.

Can't quite make up my mind if it's staged or not, but I can't see a hardman defender like Marco Materazzi agreeing to cry on camera.



Top 10 Goals Of The Season, No.9 – Maicon, Inter Vs Udinese, Serie A

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By Ollie Irish

The pass by Milito to Stankovic is superb (even if he didn't fully mean it), the assist by Stankovic is gorgeous (like something Bergkamp or Scholes might pull off), the finish by Maicon is BRUTAL. Perhaps not the prettiest goal you'll ever see, but so damned effective much like Inter's boss Jose Mourinho, then.

Exclusive Video: Rio Ferdinand Interviews Wayne Rooney For # 5 Magazine

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By Ollie Irish

Pies has procured an exclusive clip of Rio and Wazza going head to head for the latest issue of Rio's surprisingly good online magazine, # 5. And lo, here it is:

Gotta say, Wazza does seem to be a top bloke.

Rio Ferdinand interviews England star Wayne Rooney in the latest edition of his #5 Magazine!

Pies Classics: Top 20 Most Slappable Premier League Footballers

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By Ollie Irish

Updating a popular list we first published back in March 2007...

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#20 David Bentley - Cocky son of a gun, could use a firm tap on the jaw

Photos: PA

NB. This is an entirely subjective list, which no doubt many of you will quibble with.

The World Cup Years: Czechoslovakia 1-2 Italy, 1934 World Cup Final

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By Ollie Irish

Italy's triumphant players pose for a photo after winning the 1934 World Cup final on home soil

Photo: EMPICS

In front of 50,000 fans, crammed inside the Stadio Nazionale PNF in Rome (it was demolished in 1953 and replaced by the Stadio Flaminio), Italy won the second ever World Cup tournament, beating Czechoslovakia in a tight, tense final.

Guillermo Franco Confirms West Ham Exit

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By Chris Wright


Mexican striker Guillermo Franco (who recently scored his country's goal in their recent 3-1 international friendly defeat at the hands of England) has confirmed he is to leave West Ham during the summer, after the club decided not to extend the one-year deal he signed upon joining the Hammers last September.

Man Utd Line Up £20m Bid For Rafael Van Der Vaart, Tottenham Chasing £16m Defensive Pair

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By Chris Wright

I've seen the big-eared boys. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Manchester United are lining up a £20 million bid for Real Madrid's Dutch playmaker Rafael Van Der Vaart, who United see as Paul Scholes' long-term successor at Old Trafford.

West Ham Eyeing Up A Shock Move For Italy Captain Fabio Cannavaro?

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By Chris Wright


This one has the faint whiff of bullsh*t about it but a rumour's a rumour so let's run with it...

West Ham are reportedly set to take advantage of veteran Italian defender Fabio Cannavaro's stalled contract negotiations at Juventus by offering the former World Player of the Year a lucrative (£100,000-a-week plus) short-term contract to see out his illustrious career at Upton Park.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Fernando Torres & Gerard Kearns

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By Ollie Irish

You may recognise Kearns as the actor who played Ian Gallagher in Channel 4's Shameless.

On reflection, not only is this VERY harsh on Nando, but it also has to be one of the shittest lookalikes we've ever done. That said, there's something in it that cracks me up.

Too Many England Flags?

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By Ollie Irish

... Yeah, a tad too many. Just a tad.

This is the house of pensioner Doreen Carnelley. She lives in Clifton, Nottingham. She supports England... a bit too much, wethinks. That's not all Doreen's local council cut down a string of 27 England flags she had put on lampposts outsider her house.

Arsenal Youngster Fran Merida Joins Atletico Madrid

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By Chris Wright

Arsenal have confirmed that Fran Merida will join Atletico Madrid when his contract at the Gunners expires on July 1st.

The 20-year-old Spanish midfielder will join the La Liga side on a four-year contract after spending nearly four years at the Emirates.

Fernando Torres Gets New Haircut, Now Looks 17

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By Ollie Irish

Hmmmmm. Hmmm.

Hmm. Not sure about this.



New Everton Pink Kit, Wayne Bridge Living Large In LA, Man Utd Want Van Der Vaart, Real Madrid Sign Angel Di Maria?

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!

Everton's new away kit or it might be the keeper's change kit (we don't know yet) is salmon pink. Very salmon pink [Goaly Moly]

Top 10 unofficial England World Cup songs [Spoiler]

Man Utd want Rafael van der Vaart to replace Scholesy [Mirror]

Read the latest issue of Rio F's 5 magazine, starring Wayne Rooney and Plan B [# 5]

Real Madrid seal signing of Angel Di Maria from Benfica?

Inter’s Wesley Sneijder Won’t Rule Out Real Madrid Return

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By Chris Wright

Inter Milan midfielder Wesley Sneijder has not ruled out the prospect of rejoining Real Madrid, revealing that a move that would see him team up with Jose Mourinho again is 'possible'.

Mourinho is expected to be named as the latest Real Madrid manager during the next few days after winning a domestic and European treble with Inter last season and the Dutch string-puller, who was deemed to be surplus to requirements at the Bernabeu before joining the Nerazzurri only a year ago, has admitted that he may be tempted to follow 'The Special One' back to La Liga.

Photos: Bayern Munich 0-2 Inter, Champions League Final

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By Ollie Irish

Belatedly...

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Bayern Munich and Inter Milan fans sit together in the Santiago Bernabeu

I'll be straight with you: I didn't watch the Champions League final. I was in a Canadian pub in central London yes, the only Canadian pub watching the NHL ice hockey playoffs.

Birmingham City To Sign 6ft 7in Nikola Zigic From Valencia, For £6m?

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By Ollie Irish

Sky Sports claims Birmingham City have agreed to pay a fee in the region of £6m to Valencia for MASSIVE striker Nikola Zigic.

The 6ft 7in Serbia international, 29, has been linked with the Blues before, with Stoke City (of course) and Blackburn Rovers (of course) also reported to be interested.

Top 10 Goals Of The Season, No.10 – Samir Nasri, Arsenal Vs Porto, Champions League

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By Ollie Irish

Patient build-up... brilliant dribble... ruthless finish. Nasri's best moment of the season, by some distance.

Check back all week for the rest of our top ten.



Three Women To Claim Secret Affairs With David Beckham? Victoria Will Be Pleased

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By Ollie Irish

"Victoria, you remember when I said how much I admire Tiger Woods? Well..."

Australian magazine Famous (a rag about celebs, natch) has boldly published a cover story about David Beckham and alleged relationships with 'three other women'.

In Pictures: Blackpool Celebrate Promotion With Open-Top Bus Parade

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By Ollie Irish

Some more tangerine-flavoured celebration goodness for you:

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The open top bus carrying the Blackpool players makes it's way down the promenade in Blackpool, Lancashire.



Video: Argentina 5-0 Canada – Don’t Write Off Argentina Yet

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By Ollie Irish

OK, thrashing the not-so-mighty Canada in a pre-World Cup friendly doesn't suddenly make Argentina live contenders, but the more I think about their scary forward power (Messi, Higuain, Milito, Tevez... most impressive), the more I think they'll have a very good World Cup.

England 3-1 Mexico: International Friendly Player Ratings

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By Chris Wright

'Patchy' seems to be the buzzword in the press today to describe England's performance in their 3-1 friendly win over Mexico last night.

Goals from Tottenham duo Ledley King and Peter Crouch gave England a 2-0 lead but Mexico pulled a goal back (following a corner, West Ham's Guillermo Franco pounced on Leighton Baines unconvincing clearance to scramble the ball home) to make the score 2-1 at the break.

Photos: England 3-1 Mexico, World Cup Friendly

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By Ollie Irish

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A Mexican fan in the stands.

Believe! That's the mantra of every other World Cup ad in England, this time and the time before. And what are we supposed to believe exactly? I presume that by 'Believe', we must believe that England can win the World Cup.

In Pictures: Blackpool Promoted To Premier League

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BLACKPOOL are in the Premier League and all fans will be hoping they play them away on the Bank Holiday. Well, not those Arsenal fans with second homes in Tuscany, nor the Chelsea fans who like to be no more than 200ft from a Pret A Manger, and not those who have ever been to Blackpool before to revisit their father's old haunts on an away day from Leeds (don't ask).

Man City Plan ‘Lescott-Style’ Raid For Everton’s Mikel Arteta, Tottenham Target Contract Rebel Steven Pienaar

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By Chris Wright

Wasn't Carrick good? Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Manchester City are planning a £20 million 'Lescott-style' raid for Everton midfielder Mikel Arteta.

City are willing to risk re-opening their feud with the Toffees that began with their disruptive pursuit of then-Everton defender Joleon Lescott, who eventually following a lengthy and bitter wrangle moved to Eastlands for £22 million.

World Cup Sh*t Lookalikes: Diego Maradona & Saddam Hussein

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By Ollie Irish

One is a clueless, ruthless dictator... yeah, you know where this is going. (A one-way ticket to Lametown.)

Chau Nguyen

Thanks Chau. Got a Shit Lookalike? Send it to ollie@anorak.

Liverpool Confirm Fabio Aurelio Exit

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By Chris Wright

Bit of 'breaking' for you here. Liverpool have just confirmed that Brazilian defender Fabio Aurelio has turned down a new pay-as-you-play style deal and is to leave the club next week.

Due to his injury record, Liverpool were keen to to protect their interests by offering Aurelio a flexible deal based on appearances, but the 30-year-old has decided to seek a more secure deal elsewhere thus ending his four-year stay at Anfield.

Blackpool Promoted In Pictures: If You Were There, You Could Be Here

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BLACKPOOL are in the Premier League and all fans will be hoping they play them away on the Bank Holiday. Well, not those Arsenal fans with second homes in Tuscany, nor the Chelsea fans who like to be no more than 200ft from a Pret A Manger, and not those who have ever been to Blackpool before to revisit their father's old haunts on an away day from Leeds (don't ask).

Video: France’s William Gallas Crashes During Pre-World Cup Buggy Race

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By Chris Wright

Arsenal and France defender William Gallas left his national team's hearts briefly in their collective mouths on Sunday after crashing and rolling his buggy during a 'team-bonding' race at the French World Cup training camp in Tignes.

Jack Rodwell Signs New Long-Term Deal At Everton

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By Chris Wright

Highly-rated Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell has shunned the advances of Manchester United and Arsenal by agreeing to sign a new five-year, £30,000-a-week, contract at Goodison.

The 19-year-old has been the subject of relentless transfer speculation this season, which has seen the England U21 international linked with most of the Premier League's elite at one point or another, but Rodwell has now joined spring-heeled midfielder Tim Cahill and young full-back Seamus Coleman in committing his long-term future to the Toffees.

Stoke City Planning To Rescue (Heskue?) Emile Heskey

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By Chris Wright

Sum up a man in one picture

According to the Daily Mail, Stoke City are set to offer Aston Villa flop Emile Heskey an escape route out of Villa Park by lodging a £2 million bid for the perennially misfiring 'striker', if manager Tony Pulis can successfully offload two of his surplus forwards James Beattie and Dave Kitson.

Jose Mourinho Sparks ‘Panic’ As Prem Teams Fear Exodus, Chelsea Target Liverpool Midfield Duo

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By Chris Wright

Culoo Calaay. Here's the round up...

Panic on the streets of London...

Rumour No. 1: Former Inter boss Jose Mourinho's impending appointment as the new manager of Real Madrid will strike panic into even the stoutest of Premier League hearts as many of England's biggest clubs (especially Chelsea) fear the Portuguese coach will come sniffing after their top talents.

Listen To ‘Three Lions 2010′, Featuring Robbie Williams & Russell Brand

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By Ollie Irish

You can't kill this damned thing...

Verdict? Er, well, it sounds a hell of a lot like the previous versions, only with added annoyance in the form of zeitgeisty Russell Brand. In a word: needless.

That said, it's a very hard-hearted fan who can resist the goosebumpy power of the chorus.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Rules Out A Move To England

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By Chris Wright

Barcelona striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic has effectively ruled out a move to the Premier League after admitting that he couldn't bear the weather which sounds slightly strange considering that fact that he's Swedish.

Video: Arsene Wenger Hands Marouane Chamakh His Arsenal Shirt, No.29

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By Ollie Irish

Come in number 29, your time is now...

I'm struck by how much young Marouane looks like... Cristiano Ronaldo. You see it?

This is where I'm obliged to say: "... And if he plays half as well as Ronaldo, Arsenal have got a bargain."

I won't do that though.

Champions League Final Photos: Inter & Bayern In Training

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By Ollie Irish

A few pics from Inter and Bayern's final training sessions before the big match in Madrid this evening...

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Inter Milan manager Jose Mourinho

So who's gonna win? It will be close, you have to imagine.

The Hills Are Alive With… Peter Crouch

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By Ollie Irish

Crouchinho poses at England's World Cup training camp in Austria. Sports casual.



Marouane Chamakh Officially Completes Arsenal Switch

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By Chris Wright


It has just been officially confirmed that Moroccan striker Marouane Chamakh has completed his protracted Bosman move from Ligue 1 outfit Girondins de Bordeaux to Arsenal.

Chamakh has joined the Gunners on a 'long-term contract' (although no specific details are available as yet) and will wear the No.

Video: Uruguay 4-2 Argentina, 1930 World Cup Final

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By Ollie Irish

Just 13 nations contested the inaugural FIFA World Cup, with hosts Uruguay winning the two-week tournament. Here, via the power of YouTube, is some terrific archive footage of the final:

"The final was played at the Estadio Centenario on July 30.

Football Songs: ‘I’m Just A Glamour Girl’ By Chenille Steele

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By Ollie Irish

(Featuring NSFW lyrics)

Funny, yes, but also depressingly accurate.

Chenille also has a new World Cup song out, 'Come On You Lions', which we'll post up soon enough.



The World Cup Years: Uruguay 1930 In Pictures

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By Ollie Irish

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The Uruguay team train on the streets of Montevideo before the final against Argentina

Vintage.



World Cup Spot The Baller: 21 May, 2010

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By Ollie Irish

Who dis?

Previous answer: Tony Adams



The Friday Fail: Is This The Worst Penalty Of All Time? (With Video Evidence)

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By Chris Wright

(The offending spot kick is at the 0.25 mark.)

Words fail me!



New Manchester United Away Kit… Not Good

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By Ollie Irish

Another Marmite kit for next season. I think it's dated and lacking even a scintilla of style (the new sponsor's logo is terrible too), but... I might change my mind when I see it on Wazza's back.

What say you hit or shit?

Snapshot: Ben Foster Unveiled At Birmingham City

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By Ollie Irish

"He's nae quite as good as Joe Hart, but he'll do for me, aye."

England's best goalkeeper (© Fergie) poses with Big Eck before a press conference at St Andrews.



David James Considered For Portsmouth Manager Job?

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By Chris Wright

Portsmouth administrator Andrew Andronikou has confirmed that he will discuss the newly-vacant managerial position at the club with veteran 'keeper David James.

England international James, who has just been offered new terms at Pompey, has expressed an interest in moving into football management and Andronikou is therefore keen to discuss the club's current situation with him;

"I believe David wants to go into management one day, although I'm not sure if this will be too soon for him.

Playoff Photos: Morecambe 2-1 Dagenham & Redbridge – Farewell To Christie Park

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By Ollie Irish

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A view of the sun setting over Christie Park

As expected after a 6-0 win at home in the first leg, Dagenham and Redbridge booked their place in the League Two play-off final against Rotherham at Wembley, but at least Morecambe won on their final appearance at Christie Park.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Cesare Prandelli (New Italy Manager?) & A Raisin

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By Chris Wright

Getting confirmation... yep, this is officially shit.

In the real world, Prandelli has been offered the Italy job after Lippi retires.

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Send it to ollie@anorak.co.uk



Franck Ribery Set To Sign New Deal At Bayern Munich, Man City Still Chasing James Milner And Also Ashley Young

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By Chris Wright

TMFJCAIF. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Reports in the German media today are suggesting that Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Barcelona and Real Madrid target Franck Ribery is set to sign a new five-year deal at Bayern Munich that will see him tied to the German club until 2015 thus putting the kibosh on any prospective summer move.

Avram Grant Set To Become New West Ham Manager

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By Chris Wright


After resigning as Portsmouth manager yesterday, it would seem that Avram Grant is all but set to named as the new West Ham manager.

Negotiations are said to be ongoing between the two parties, with final contract details still to be agreed upon, but many sources are speculating that Grant could be installed as Gianfranco Zola's successor as early as this evening.

What Blackburn Rovers Must Do In The Off-Season

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By Chris McQuade

The NelsenSambanator BR1000 it will not stop

In the end, Blackburn Rovers enjoyed a successful season survival was their primary aim. They achieved this (and more) as they were never dragged into a relegation scrap alongside the likes of West Ham and Wigan.

Video: New Nike ‘Write The Future’ World Cup Ad Is Brilliant, Not Original

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By Ollie Irish

We posted a teaser clip earlier this week of Nike's new World Cup 'Write The Future' campaign, featuring Wayne Rooney with a big bushy beard. Here's the full version, with added world stars (they might want to cut Ronaldinho out):

Wow. As commercials go, that's amazingly executed, wonderfully witty and has astonishingly high production values.

Maradona Runs Over Cameraman In Car, Robben Criticises Mourinho, Barcelona Reject Chelsea Bid For Yaya Toure

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!!

Diego Maradona runs over cameraman at World Cup squad announcement not on purpose, but Diego did then call him an asshole. Which is nice [Guardian]

Top 10 bizarre football video game moments [Goaly Moly]

Chelsea have £17m bid for Yaya Toure rejected by Barcelona [Mirror]

Mad Jens Lehmann has a book out [Kickette]

Bayern winger Arjen Robben thinks former boss Jose Mourinho is too cynical [BBC]

Dunga ruined my marriage [Must Read Soccer]

Phil Brown is a psycho [Twitter]

The six worst footballer-endorsed video games [Betfair]

Metro's fantasy World Cup game is very good [Metro]

Steven Gerrard says Joe Cole is as good as Messi and Ronaldo.

Video: Wallace And Gromit Star In ‘Hand Of Dog’ World Cup Ad

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By Ollie Irish

They like us, I think.



Albert Riera Blasts Liverpool Board For ‘Not Protecting Him’

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By Chris Wright

The clear front runner amongst the nominations for the 'Seriously?...Are You F*cking Kidding Me?'â„¢ awards Albert Riera has slammed the Liverpool board for not defending him following his criticism of manager Rafa Benitez.

Playoff Photos: Rotherham 2-0 Aldershot – It’s Miller Time At Wembley

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By Ollie Irish

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Aldershot Town's Dean Morgan (left) goes down under a tackle from Rotherham United's Andy Warrington and recieves a yellow card for simulation

With a 1-0 lead from the first leg, the safe money was always on Rotherham to make it to Wembley.

In Pictures: England’s World Cup Training Camp In Austria

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By Ollie Irish

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England manager Fabio Capello during the training session at the ATV Arena, Irdning, Austria.

Photos: Owen Humphreys / PA Wire



… And Aston Villa Reject £20m Man City Bid For James Milner

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By Ollie Irish

Manchester City's £20million bid for Aston Villa and England midfielder James Milner has been instantly rejected by the Midlands club.

City launched their initial bid on Wednesday night and it took almost no time for a Villa spokesman to respond: "We have received an offer from Manchester City for James Milner and this has been firmly rejected.

Shorts: New M&S England World Cup Suit, Red Knights Losing Faith, Sevilla Win Copa Del Rey

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By Ollie Irish

Shorts!!!

England's official World Cup suit by Marks and Spencer is grey and looks like a suit. Hang on, what's Stewart Downing doing in there? And Joleon Lescott. Get out! [Goaly Moly]

* * * * *

Goals by wingers Diego Capel and Jesus Navas earned Sevilla a 2-0 Copa del Rey final victory over Europa League winners Atletico Madrid in the Camp Nou on Wednesday night.

Man Utd Ready To Officially Join The Queue For James Milner, Mikel Arteta Is Happy At Everton

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By Chris Wright

Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Manchester United are officially ready to join the race to sign James Milner, and are planning to make a bid of £28 million for the Aston Villa man after seeing rivals Manchester City have a £20 million offer rejected yesterday.

Englishman Howard Webb To Referee Champions League Final

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By Ollie Irish

I'm almost proud that an Englishman will be involved in Saturday's Champions League final. Almost.

A UEFA statement, released this morning, read: "The match will be handled by 38-year-old English referee Howard Melton Webb, who has been an international referee since 2005 and has officiated in total 47 UEFA matches in his refereeing career.

Video: The Impossible Match – Athletico Bilbao Vs 200 Children

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By Chris Wright

Athletic Bilbao held a charity game on Monday night to say farewell to long-serving winger Joseba Etxeberria, who is leaving the Basque club after 15 years of service.

In an interesting twist on a testimonial game, Bilbao took on a team made up of two hundred local kids (a different hundred children took part in each half) at the San Mames stadium.

Man City Make £20m Bid For Aston Villa’s James Milner

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By Chris Wright

The Sky Sports 'breaking news' ticker has farted into action this evening to proclaim that, according to Sky sources, Manchester City have lodged a £20 million bid for Aston Villa midfielder James Milner.

City are understood to have formally entered the bid for the 24-year-old on Tuesday evening, and it has yet to be accepted or rejected by Villa.

Inter Manager Jose Mourinho: ‘I Want To Coach Real Madrid 100%’

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By Chris Wright


I'm going to start by telling you the following quotes from Jose Mourinho are taken from MARCA, the unofficial mouthpiece of Real Madrid, and you should let that colour your judgement as you see fit.

Skills: The Most Ridiculous, Amazing Free-Kick Ever? (With Video Evidence)

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By Ollie Irish

Inca, the skipper of Paraguayan top-flight side Sol de America, scored this jaw-dropping goal to secure a 2-1 away win against title-chasing Olimpia. In so doing Sol staved off the threat of relegation.

"The big thing was that my team-mates trusted me to have a go at it," the 36-year-old said afterwards.

Top 10 Coolest World Cup Stars Ever

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By Ollie Irish

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Mario Kempes, Argentina - Looked like a rock star rebel

That's my personal top 10. Who makes it into yours?



The World Cup Years: Jimmy Greaves Trains With England, 1966

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By Ollie Irish

Photo: PA (Click to enlarge)

June 1966: England striker Jimmy Greaves dribbles through a set of poles in training ahead of the World Cup on home soil.

For my money, Greaves is the greatest forward England has ever produced. What a shame for him that he didn't get to feature in England's finest hour.

Barcelona Complete €40m Deal For Valencia Striker David Villa

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By Chris Wright


It's just been confirmed on Valencia's official website that David Villa has completed his €40 million switch to Barcelona.

It is understood that the prolific striker will be unveiled as a Barca player at the Camp Nou later this week.

How Much Is Cesc Fabregas Worth?

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By Ollie Irish

"See ya... wouldn't want to be ya."

If, as reported by smug tosser Guillem Balague, Cesc Fabregas has told Arsene Wenger that he wants away to Barcelona, how much cash should Arsenal hold out for? A straight fee, or cash plus one Barcelona player.

2010 World Cup Rumours: South Africa’s Benni McCarthy ‘Too Fat’ To Play

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By Chris Wright

Benni McCarthy, seen here in leaner days

The coach of the South African national side, Carlos Alberto Parreira, has told striker Benni McCarthy that he runs the risk of losing his place in his country's World Cup squad for being 'too fat'.

Playoff Photos: Millwall 2-0 Huddersfield – Lions To Play Swindon In Wembley Final

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By Ollie Irish

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Millwall fans celebrate Steve Morison's (not pictured) first goal of the game

Photos: Nick Potts / PA

Goals by Steve Morison and Paul Robinson ensured Millwall will make yet another trip to Wembley, where they meet Swindon for a place in the Championship a week on Saturday.

World Cup Sh*t Lookalikes: Tomas Brolin & F1 Driver Nico Rosberg

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By Ollie Irish

Shit.

Send your lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk



Man Utd To Swap Anderson For Benfica’s Angel Di Maria, Man City Enter The Race For Franck Ribery

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By Chris Wright

Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Manchester United are ready to let Brazilian midfielder Anderson leave the club over the summer, and are trying to engineer a player-plus-£10-million exchange deal with Benfica for their highly-rated Argentinian winger Angel Di Maria.

Hull City Confirm Celtic Interest For Jimmy Bullard

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By Chris Wright

Hull City have confirmed that Celtic have made initial enquiries about taking midfielder Jimmy Bullard on a season-long loan deal next term.

Speaking to The Scottish Daily Express, Hull chairman Adam Pearson said;

"We are aware that Celtic have an interest in Jimmy Bullard.

World Cup Video: Little Britain’s Andy Scores Against England In Nationwide Ad

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By Ollie Irish

First the Capello Index, now this Is Fabio turning into Sven-Goran Eriksson? I bloody hope not.



Cesc Fabregas Tells Arsene Wenger He Wants To Leave Arsenal For Barcelona

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By Herman Miller

It's happened. Cesc has finally collapsed under the sheer weight of rumours and whispers, and according to Sky and the Guardian, to name two sources has told Arsene Wenger he wants to join Barcelona before the start of World Cup next month.

Gary Lineker Quits His Mail On Sunday Column

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By Chris Wright


Gary Lineker has done the remarkably decent thing and quit his column for The Mail On Sunday, in protest over the paper's 'sting' on Lord Triesman.

The Mail reportedly paid £75,000 to Melissa Jacobs for a recording she made of Triesman in which he suggested that the Russian and Spanish bid teams for the 2018 World Cup may conspire to bribe the officials at the South African World Cup this summer.

The Black-And-White Years: Matt Busby And Duncan Edwards, 1957

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By Ollie Irish

Photo: PA

Manchester United manager Matt Busby between Johnny Berry (left) and Duncan Edwards (right), in the dressing-room at Bournemouth after United had qualified for the FA Cup semi final in March 1957. United reached the final that year, but lost 2-1 to Aston Villa.

Top 10 Football Combovers

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By Ollie Irish

A Horror Hair special...

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Bobby Charlton

Camp Drog says:

"Ooh, it's a f**king disgrace!"



Video: The Tears Behind Kevin-Prince Boateng’s FA Cup Final Penalty Miss

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By Ollie Irish

This made me laugh. That is all.



Sh*t Lookalikes: Terry Yorath & Terry Kimple From ‘The Cleveland Show’

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By Ollie Irish

If you don't watch The Cleveland Show, this will mean little to you. Ditto if you've never heard of Terry Yorath. Whatever, you have to agree this is tremendous. And look at the state of that brown Coventry kit.

Got a lookalike for Pies?

What Birmingham City Must Do In The Off-Season

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By Chris McQuade

Hart, Hart wherever you may be

Birmingham City were many pundits' tip to go down this season. After enduring a poor start to the season with six losses in their first nine games, those expectations seemed accurate. However, with a much-publicised change in formation and a run which saw Alex McLeish's men not suffer another defeat until the New Year, the Blues were the Premier League's biggest surprise package in 2009-10.

Video: John Terry’s Suave One-Handed Beer Catch

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By Chris Wright

Smooth as silk.

JT's reaction is priceless! Not his first beer of the day me-thinks!



New Inter Away Kit Features Big Blue Serpent

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By Ollie Irish

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Inter's new away kit for 2010-11, complete with blue serpent graphic

Well, it's different.

In defence of the designers, the grass snake is a classic Inter symbol, so there is s reason for it being there.

Barcelona Open Talks With Valencia Over David Villa, Arsenal Have £14m Pepe Reina Bid Rejected

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By Chris Wright

Wabbit season. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Barcelona vice president Rafael Yuste has revealed that the club are in talks with Valencia over a €40 million move for their star striker David Villa, and that negotiations for the Spanish star are 'on track'.

New Nike World Cup Ad Imagines Bearded Wayne Rooney Living In A Caravan Park

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By Ollie Irish

The concept behind this new Nike World Cup campaign is not new one wrong pass and your career goes to the sh*ts, you end up living in a caravan park and you grow a massive beard. We've all been there. Fray Bentos pie tins on the floor, Stella cans full of cigarette ends.

Ben Foster Set For Birmingham City Switch

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By Chris Wright

Manchester United 'keeper Ben Foster is all but set to join Birmingham City in a £6 million deal, pending the completion of a medical later today.

Foster has only made a single appearance for the United first team since falling foul of manager Sir Alex Ferguson earlier in the season, following the dropping of a series of high-profile clangers.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Vicente Del Bosque & Inspector Clouseau

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By Chris Wright

Inspector Clouseau (of Pink Panther fame) and Vicente Del Bosque (of Furia Roja fame) two peas from a very jowly pod.

Yours truly!

Got a lookalike you want to see on Pies? Email ollie@anorak.

Playoff Photos: Charlton 2-1 Swindon (Swindon Win 5-4 On Penalties)

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By Ollie Irish

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Charlton Athletic's Nick Bailey (left) and Swindon Town's Simon Ferry (right) battle for the ball

Photos: Joe Giddens / EMPICS Sport

Charlton captain Nicky Bailey's missed penalty cost his side a trip to Wembley and the chance of promotion to the Championship, as Swindon reached the League One play-off final with a 5-4 win on penalties at The Valley.

Why No British Football Fan Should Ever Buy The Mail On Sunday Again

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That smug looking football-hating barsteward above is Peter Wright. Let's get him on trial for treason

So, in case you missed it, The Mail on Sunday wires up a kiss and tell girl with a recorder who then tries to snare Lord Triesman, Chair of the FA and head man of England's 2018 world cup bid into making saucy comments.

The World Cup Years: France Vs Brazil, 1998 World Cup Final

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By Ollie Irish

France goalkeeper Fabien Barthez leaps over Brazil striker Ronaldo, as France's Lilian Thuram looks on, during the 1998 World Cup final in Paris. France won 3-0 to lift its first ever World Cup, thanks to goals by the great Zinedine Zidane (2) and former Arsenal star Emmanuel Petit.

Oguchi Onyewu Extends Contract With AC Milan – And Will Now Play For Free

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By Chris Wright

AC Milan's American defender Oguchi Onyewu (you may remember him from his brief stint on loan at Newcastle United from Standard Liege) has extended his deal with the Rossoneri by a further year, and has confirmed that he is to receive no wages for the remainder of his contract.

The Football WAG Index No.26: Kim Kardashian

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By Ollie Irish

Kim Kardashian has gained membership to the Wonderful World of Football WAGs thanks to her long-distance relationship with Cristiano Ronaldo, which may or may not be a taboid invention or indeed a cunning ruse by Kardashian's people to raise her profile in Europe.

Why no British football fan should ever buy The Mail on Sunday again

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That smug looking football-hating barsteward above is Peter Wright. Let's get him on trial for treason

So, in case you missed it, The Mail on Sunday wires up a kiss and tell girl with a recorder who then tries to snare Lord Triesman, Chair of the FA and head man of England's 2018 world cup bid into making saucy comments.

Photos: Oxford United 3-1 York City – Oxford Promoted To Football League

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By Ollie Irish

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Oxford United fans in the stands at Wembley Stadium

Oxford United will compete in the Football League next season after beating York City 3-1 in the Blue Square Premier play-off final at Wembley.

Matt Green and James Constable gave the Us a 2-0 lead with just 21 minutes on the clock before a howler by their goalkeeper Ryan Clarke gave the Minstermen a lifeline just before half-time.

The Top 15 Players Not Going To The 2010 World Cup

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By Ollie Irish

Some very good players won't be at the World Cup next month for their nations. Witness:

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Francesco Totti - Italy. Not selected

Photos: PA

(Note: players from countries which didn't qualify are not included)



What Aston Villa Must Do In The Off-Season

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By Chris McQuade

James Milner Villa's brightest young thing

Villa fans are often left with a sour taste at the end of a season as their push for fourth has often fallen short with a few weeks to go. However, given their consistent performances (6th place for three years running) and youthful squad, things continue to look bright for Martin O'Neill's men.

Germany Captain Michael Ballack Ruled Out Of The World Cup

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By Chris Wright

The German Football Federation (DFB) have confirmed that their captain Michael Ballack will miss the World Cup as a result of the ankle injury he sustained in last weekend's FA Cup final.

Ballack underwent an MRI scan in Munich this morning to assess the extent of the injury and the results showed there to be extensive ligament damage in his right ankle.

Photos: Dundee United 3-0 Ross County, Scottish Cup Final

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By Ollie Irish

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Dundee United Fans during the Active Nation Scottish Cup Final at Hampden Park, Glasgow.

Photos: John Walton / EMPICS

A predictable result perhaps, but Ross County made a decent game of it, especially in a tight first half of few chances.

Man City Fans Predict A Pair Of Big Summer Transfers

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By Chris Wright

Manchester City fans have pre-empted their club's summer transfer activity and altered their Wikipedia page to include two big names within their roster for next season.

Cheeky scamps. What ever will they think of next?

Photos: Chelsea Celebrate The Double With Open-Top Bus Parade In West London

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By Ollie Irish

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Chelsea's John Terry celebrates winning the Premier League and FA Cup double atop a double decker bus

Chelsea fans apart, no one likes to see John Terry this happy. Bleurgh.



FA Cup Final: Chelsea 1-0 Portsmouth – Drogba At The Double

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CHELSEA win the Double with the rouble and all is good with the Blues. We've got the best pictures from the game, the pre-match hoopla and the celebrations. And not once did any Chelsea player mistake the famous old Cup for a potty and sit his kid in it. Small mercies, indeed...

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Chelsea's John Terry has words with Portsmouth's Kevin-Prince Boateng before he takes a penalty



Lord Triesman’s Treason: All The News And Views On England’s Damaged 2018 World Cup Bid

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LORD Triesman was chairman of the FA and the frontman in England bid to stage the 2018 World Cup when in a dinner with flame-haired Melissa Jacobs he revealed that he thinks players are thick and foreigners are duplicitous coves with greasy palms.

As football fan Martin Hole might says, Melissa Jacobs – she recorded the chat and took it to the tabloids had him there.

Man City To Open The Bidding At £24m For James Milner, Liverpool Target Sampdoria Striker Giampaolo Pazzini

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By Chris Wright

Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Manchester City are set to make their first move in this summer's transfer market by lodging an opening bid of £24 million for Aston Villa's all-action midfielder James Milner within the next 48 hours.

Laurent Blanc Set To Be Named New France Coach

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By Chris Wright

According to reports emanating from France this morning, Laurent Blanc, (who recently stepped down as manager of Ligue 1 side Bordeaux) is set to be named as the next coach of the French national team within the next 24 hours and will take over the reigns from Raymond Domenech after the World Cup culminates in July.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Fernando Torres & An Alpaca

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By Ollie Irish

Lovely.

Ashley Moo

Got a lookalike you want to see on Pies? Email ollie@anorak.co.uk with yours.



What Did John Terry Say To Kevin-Prince Boateng?

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By Ollie Irish

As Portsmouth's Kevin-Prince Boateng prepared to step up and take a penalty in Saturday's FA Cup final with the score at 0-0 Chelsea captain John Terry went over and had a quiet word in K-P's ear. I imagine Terry said "Good luck, old chap, I really hope you score you deserve it.

FA Cup Final: Great Pictures Of Chelsea’s Double Clincher In Pictures

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CHELSEA win the Double with the rouble and all is good with the Blues. We've got the best pictures from the game, the pre-match hoopla and the celebrations. And not once did any Chelsea player mistake the famous old Cup for a potty and sit his kid in it. Small mercies, indeed...

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Chelsea's John Terry has words with Portsmouth's Kevin-Prince Boateng before he takes a penalty



The World Cup Years: Pele At The 1958 World Cup

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By Ollie Irish

Photo: S&G and Barratts / EMPICS Sport

Brazil's young star Pele watches as France goalkeeper Claude Abbes pounces on the ball, during the 1958 World Cup semi final. Brazil won 5-2, with Pele scoring a second-half hat-trick.



Movie Trailer: ‘One Night In Turin’ – England’s Italia 90 Story

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By Ollie Irish

What a great summer that was though. Can't wait to see the film (it was released in selected cinemas this week and will be out on DVD at the end of May), which is based on Pete Davies' excellent book 'All Played Out'.



Sh*t Lookalikes: Natasha Dowie (Everton Ladies) & Zara Phillips

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By Ollie Irish

Ah, horsey ladies. Ah.

Send your Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk



Photos: Cardiff 2-3 Leicester – Bluebirds 90 Minutes From The Premier League

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By Ollie Irish

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Cardiff City's Jay Bothroyd (left) and Michael Chopra (right) celebrate after the final whistle

I watched the Europa League final in a pub in south London. Engrossed by Fulham's efforts, I totally missed the brilliant action in south Wales.

2010 World Cup Rumours: David Beckham To Take England Coaching Role

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By Chris Wright

Crocked midfielder David Beckham has confirmed that he hopes to be playing a much more active role in England's World Cup campaign than just travelling to South Africa in a 'mascot' capacity.

Beckham, who has been ruled out of the World Cup after rupturing his achilles tendon in March, has revealed that he has discussed the possibility of joining manager Fabio Capello's coaching staff for the duration of the tournament depending on how well his recovery from injury progresses.

In Pictures: Vintage World Cup Posters, 1930-1990

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By Ollie Irish

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1930 World Cup

Love these old World Cup posters. So much more pleasing on the eye than today's efforts.



Thierry Henry Signs Pre-Contract With New York Red Bulls?

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By Chris Wright

It's yet to be confirmed by the player or the two clubs in question, but there are strong rumours circulating this morning that Barcelona striker Thierry Henry has signed a pre-contract agreement with New York Red Bulls, that will see the former Arsenal forward move stateside when the MLS transfer window re-opens in July.

World Cup Songs: ‘Grab A Stella, Nelson Mandela’ By England United Featuring Spike

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By Ollie Irish

Shambolic, yes, but also the best unofficial World Cup song I've heard yet, if only for rhyming 'Stella' with 'Mandela' suck on that, Baddiel and Skinner. The rest of the lyrics are spot-on too 'Ashley Cole in his underpants', sung with appropriate disdain.

David Villa Rejects Man Utd’s Advances In Favour Of Barca, Birmingham City Move For Bobby Zamora

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By Chris Wright

Not promising anything. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Manchester United were preparing a record breaking £45 million offer for Valencia striker David Villa, but the Spanish hitman has told them not to bother as he is planning to join Barcelona instead.

Photos: Atletico Madrid 2-1 Fulham (aet) – Forlan Breaks English Hearts

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By Ollie Irish

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(left to right) Fulham's Simon Davies, Clint Dempsey, Dickson Etuhu, Danny Murphy and Bobby Zamora on the team walk

What to say? Fulham journeyed so far, and for so long (since July 2009), and came up millimetres short how desperately sad for Roy Hodgson and co.

Which Seven Players Would You Cut From England’s Provisional World Cup Squad?

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By Ollie Irish

Fabio Capello must cut SEVEN players from his provisional squad of 30 by midnight on June 1st. In Capello's shoes, which seven players would you ditch?

A reminder of the 30-man provisional squad:

GKs - Joe Hart, David James, Rob Green

DFs -Â Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock

MFs - Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Tom Huddlestone, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Shaun Wright-Phillips

FWDs - Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney

* * * * *

I would get rid of the following baggage:

1.

The World Cup Years: The England WAGs Of 1966

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By Ollie Irish

Photo: PA

Wives and girlfriends of the England players gather at the Royal Garden Hotel, Kensington, before going to see The Black and White Minstrel Show, on the eve of the 1966 World Cup Final.

From left to right: Leslie Newton (Alan Ball's fiancee), Judith Hurst (Geoff's wife), Kay Stiles (Nobby's wife), Norma Charlton (Bobby's wife), Mrs Wilson (Ray's wife no first name on the original caption), Carol Paine (Terry's wife) and Ursula Banks (Gordon's wife).

Dimitar Berbatov Retires From International Football

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By Chris Wright

Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov has announced his retirement from international football this morning, in a bid to concentrate on his club career.

Berbatov has drawn close to a prolific stint with the Bulgarian national side that has seen the 29-year-old forward net 48 goals in 78 appearances (including six goals in his last three games).

Which Three Tottenham Players Must Harry Redknapp Sell This Summer?

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By Ollie Irish

You are Tottenham's weakest links. Goodbye...

Jermaine Jenas: sub par?

A simple hypothesis:

You are Harry 'Triffic' Redknapp. After a brilliant season, when you led your team to the Champions League promised land, you naturally sit down and take a good long look at your somewhat bloated squad.

Paolo Di Canio Rules Out West Ham Return

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By Chris Wright

Former West Ham striker Paolo Di Canio has admitted that he wants to return to manage the club one day, but that the current managerial vacancy at Upton Park has opened up to soon for him in his fledgling coaching career.

Speaking to BBC London, Di Canio who is currently studying for his official UEFA coaching license said;

"It is my dream to go back [to West Ham] one day, but now it's too early, I still have to improve my knowledge, but maybe one day I can get that job, it would be fantastic.

Pies Classics: The Old Cement Football Prank (With Video)

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By Ollie Irish

A broken foot? Bloody hilarious, of course.



Barca Offer Zlatan Ibrahimovic To Chelsea & Man City, Mikel Arteta’s Everton Contract ‘Impasse’ Alerts Prem Duo

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By Chris Wright

Diego soddin' Forlan. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Barcelona are hawking Zlatan Ibrahimovic around Europe's elite after growing tired of the Swede's stroppy attitude, and have offered both Chelsea and Manchester City the chance to sign the moody striker for £40 million.

Hogwash Alert: Cesc Fabregas Agrees To Join Barcelona (Again!)

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By Chris Wright

"Just make them go away!"

It's all here in black and white. Arsenal skipper 'Cesc Fabregas is almost 100% definitely going to be a Barcelona player next season.

According to that last bastion of truth in a world split asunder by lies, El Mundo Deportivo (which is, by complete coincidence, published in Barcelona), the Gunner's midfielder has confided in his 'family and friends' that he has agreed a four-year deal with Barca, and the only thing standing in the way of his move to the Camp Nou is that both teams cannot agree on a suitable compensation package.

Fabio Capello Pie Launched, Why Brazil Will Win The 2010 World Cup, Zlatan To The Premier League?

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!!

Renowned Pie company launched 'Feelin' Fabio' Capello beef pie [Pieminster]

Brazil will beat Serbia yes, Serbia in the World Cup final. So says science [Goaly Moly]

Barcelona offer Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Man City and Chelsea [Goal]

Snubbed Patrick Vieira slams France coach Domenech [FourFourTwo]

Some English legends give you a very patriotic England team talk.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Quique Sanchez Flores & Dr. Gregory House

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By Chris Wright

That is all.

MORE LOOKALIKES



John Terry Breaks Foot In Training, Out Of 2010 World Cup? – Wayne Bridge To Return?

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By Ollie Irish

Breaking news, quite literally (tee hee) According to the Mail, John Terry broke a metatarsal (ah, of course!) in training with Chelsea today, ahead of the weekend's FA Cup final, and is likely to miss the World Cup finals in South Africa.

Photos: Fulham Train For Europa League Final Vs Atletico Madrid

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By Ollie Irish

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Fulham's Clint Dempsey during a training session at the HSH Nordbank Arena

Photos: Joe Giddens / EMPICS

Some exclusive shots of Clint Dempsey, Damien Duff and co. being put through their paces ahead of tonight's Europa League final.

2010 World Cup: Italy Omit Luca Toni, Antonio Cassano & Francesco Totti From Squad

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By Chris Wright

Italy coach Marcello Lippi has confirmed the 30 players he intends to select his final 23-man World Cup squad from after naming his provisional squad for this summer's tournament in South Africa.

Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni (currently on loan at Roma) has been omitted from the preliminary squad, after the 32-year-old's poor showing in the Azzuri's last major tournament (Toni failed to hit the net once at Euro 2008).

Photos: Atletico Madrid Train For Europa League Final Vs Fulham

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By Ollie Irish

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Atletico Madrid's Diego Forlan during the training session at the HSH Nordbank Arena, Hamburg, Germany.

Photos: John Walton / EMPICS

Some exclusive shots of Diego Forlan, Kun Aguero and co.

Photos: Formula 1 Drivers Play Monaco Charity Football Match

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By Ollie Irish

Every year before the Monaco Grand Prix, F1 drivers swap racing overalls for football kits, to play in a charity match in Monaco's Stade Louis II. Pies was there to capture the action:

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Fernando Alonso celebrates scoring his second goal during the Celebrity Charity Football match at Stade Louis II, Monaco

Photos: David Davies / PA Wire



2010 World Cup: Holland Squad Announced, Ruud Van Nistelrooy Misses Cut

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By Chris Wright

Holland coach Bert Van Marwijk has named his provisional squad for this summer's World Cup, with the former Feyenoord boss selecting a draft of 30 players, to be trimmed down to 23 names before the deadline passes on June 1st.

The ‘Not Going To South Africa’ England XI

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By Ollie Irish

Those perfectly decent English players who, for whatever reason, won't be going to South Africa, can at least take comfort in the fact they have been selected for this 'Not Going To The World Cup' XI (that's tongue in cheek, for any Liverpool fans who might reading this).

Photos: Nottingham Forest 3-4 Blackpool – DJ Campbell Hat-Trick Destroys Forest’s Premier League Dream

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By Ollie Irish

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Blackpool manager Ian Holloway celebrates victory after the game

Photos: Mike Egerton / EMPICS Sport

Cards on the table I'm gutted by this result, not because I have anything against Ian Holloway or Blackpool (not at all), but simply because I really, REALLY wanted to see Forest back in the top flight.

2010 World Cup: No Room In Brazil Squad For Ronaldinho, Pato Or Neymar

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By Chris Wright

Brazil coach Dunga has revealed his 23-man 'selecao' he plans to take to the World Cup this summer.

As thought, there is no room in the squad for AC Milan show-pony Ronaldinho who's form has wavered widly this season for the Rossoneri and Dunga has also extinguished former Brazil stars Adriano, Roberto Carlos and Ronaldo's (very) faint hopes of making the plane to South Africa.

2010 World Cup: Argentina Name Provisional Squad – No Cambiasso, No Zanetti

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By Chris Wright

Argentina coach Diego Maradona has delivered his 30-man provisional World Cup squad.

Inter Milan duo Esteban Cambiasso and Javier Zanetti have both been overlooked as expected. Cambiasso has yet to earn a single cap under Maradona and Zanetti has missed the cut after some poor performances in Argentina's qualifying campaign.

What Arsenal Must Do In The Off-Season

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By Chris McQuade

How do you solve a problem like Almunia?

Arsenal's off season blueprint:

The Gunners have had a rollercoaster season, veering between the sublime and sub-par with astonishing frequency. At the end of the ride, though, there was no silverware.

2010 World Cup: France Announce Provisional Squad

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By Chris Wright


France coach Raymond Domenech has named his 30-man provisional squad for this summer's World Cup.

The Frenchman's first curve-ball was to name a 30-man draft rather than the 23-man final cut he was expected to deliver meaning that seven players are still to be trimmed from the squad before the deadline on June 1st.

Video: Zidane & Messi Star In Brilliant New Adidas Ad

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By Ollie Irish

I'm not one for posting up ads for the sake of it, but this new Adidas commercial is a thing of beauty, even if the message and motive is all about a bloody football boot (albeit a rather nice-looking football boot).

And how cool does Zidane look?

Bayern Munich To Splash £14m On Dimitar Berbatov, Arsenal Linked With Midfield Trio

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By Chris Wright

Last night a DJ ruined my life. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Bayern Munich are preparing a £14 million summer bid for Manchester United misfit Dimitar Berbatov.

The Bundesliga giants will wait until after the Champions League final on May 22nd to make their move for the Bulgarian forward but may face competition from Italy, namely AC Milan, for the 29-year-old.

Liverpool Set To Ditch Alberto Aquilani?

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By Chris Wright

According to reports in a few of this morning's papers, Liverpool are set to offload midfield 'flop' Alberto Aquilani this summer, after just one injury-strewn season at the club.

Manager Rafa Benitez has apparently confirmed that this season will be Aquilani's last at Anfield (although no actual quotes are offered in any of the rags) and is now ready to make a massive financial loss on the Italian in order to clear him from the wage bill.

Sunderland Confirm Cristian Riveros Signing

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By Chris Wright

Sunderland have confirmed via their official website that they have wrapped up a deal to sign Paraguayan international midfielder Cristian Riveros from Mexican side Cruz Azul.

The 27-year-old will join The Black Cats for an undisclosed fee on a three-year deal after representing his country at this summer's World Cup.

Fabio Capello Postpones Website Launch, Ryan Giggs Spends £6k On Hair Loss Treatment, Totti Out Of Italy World Cup Squad

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!!

Fabio Capello launched his own football performance website The Capello Index and then he was ordered to un-launch it... [BigSoccer]

Tottenham linked with £18m bid for Brazil hotshot Luis Fabiano [Caught Offside]

Francesco Totti is NOT in Italy's provisional World Cup squad [ESPN]

Ryan Giggs blows six grand on hair replacement course [Goaly Moly]

How to be a football lookalike [Betfair]

Jamie Carragher's England call-up is a "disgrace" [Soccerlens]

Roy Hodgson: I won't enjoy the Europa League final [FourFourTwo]

One WAG wears another WAG's clothes.

Steven Gerrard Puts Liverpool House Up For Sale – So He’s Off To Real Madrid Then…

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By Ollie Irish

Stevie G's snooker room. He also likes to play the drums, it seems

Steven Gerrard's Liverpool mansion is on the market, priced at a reasonable £3.3m.

This means one of two things:

1. Gerrard and family are moving house, but only to another massive mock mansion in the Liverpool area.

Snapshot: The Bradford City Fire Disaster, 11 May 1985

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By Ollie Irish

Today is the 25th anniversary of the Valley Parade fire disaster, which claimed the lives of 56 fans. When one thinks of tragedies in English football history, the likes of Munich, Heysel and Hillsborough rightly spring to mind. What happened at Bradford on 11 May 1985 should never be forgotten either.

Video: Dean Windass Fails To Pronounce Diniyar Bilyaletdinov… Spectacular Idiocy

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By Ollie Irish

Ignore the video quality, feel the stupidity...

He really does put the ass into Windass. This isn't funny, it's plain insulting Chris Kamara is at least semi-professional. Windass is a straight-up imbecile.



England Manager Fabio Capello Announces Provisional World Cup Squad – Parker & Carragher In, Hargreaves, Jagielka & Zamora Not In

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By Ollie Irish

Cast your eyes over England's 30-man provisional squad for the 2010 World Cup:

GKs - Joe Hart, David James, Rob Green

DFs Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock

MFs - Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Tom Huddlestone, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Shaun Wright-Phillips

FWDs - Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney

First thoughts: Carragher has done his U-turn, then I can only presume if he's made it this far, he'll also make it into the 23.

Fabio Capello To Tempt Bryan Robson Out Of Retirement For 2010 World Cup

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By Ollie Irish

Fabio Capello has had secret talks with Bryan Robson about a sensational return for England in South Africa this summer.

Robson, 53, quit international football in 1991 but Three Lions boss Fabio Capello is desperate for him to play at this summer's World Cup.

Top 100 Premier League Photos, 2009-10 – Part 2

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By Ollie Irish

This is the story of the 2009-10 Premier League, told in pictures and featuring 100 of the best photos we've seen this season.

We posted Part 1 on Monday. Here is Part 2, covering events in the final third of the campaign (click each photo to see the larger version):

Photos: PA



Photos: Fulham Train For Europa League Final

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By Ollie Irish

Woy's boys prepare for the biggest game in Fulham's history. Pies was there, long lens in hand...

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Fulham's UEFA Europa League Final shirt

Photos: Joe Giddens / EMPICS



Man City Boss Roberto Mancini: Stephen Ireland ‘Must Change His Head’

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By Chris Wright

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has challenged midfielder Stephen Ireland to 'change his head' if he wants to regain the form that saw him named City's Player of the Year in 2008/09.

The 24-year-old playmaker has found his first-team opportunities limited this season following a dip in form and is understood to have met with City's football administrator Brian Marwood to discuss a summer transfer.

WIN! A Manchester City Umbro Shirt Signed By The Whole Team

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By Ollie Irish

Enter our competition and win a Man City home shirt signed by Carlos Tevez and pals

Thanks to our good friends at Umbro, Pies has one Man City home shirt signed by the whole team! as a prize to give away to one very lucky reader.

2010 World Cup: Spain Announce Provisional Squad

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By Chris Wright

Spain coach Vincente del Bosque has announced his provisional 30-man squad for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

There are a few surprise call-ups, notably for Barcelona starlet Pedro and Atletico Madrid's 19-year-old 'keeper David de Gea, who are both in with a chance of earning their first full international caps for La Furia Roja in South Africa this summer.

West Ham Sack Gianfranco Zola

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By Ollie Irish

News that won't surprise many people (any people?): West Ham have sacked manager Gianfranco Zola (having put him in an almost untenable position by refusing to back him at all or so it seemed).

A lifeless statement on the Irons' website read: "The Board of Directors would like to thank him for his contribution and wish him well for the future.

With Gareth Barry Injured, Should Capello Pick Owen Hargreaves In World Cup 23?

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By Ollie Irish

Owen Hargreaves will be included in England's provisional squad of 30 players, due to be announced later today, with Fabio Capello very keen on giving the Man Utd midfielder as much time as possible to prove his fitness.

St. Pauli Set To Offer Sol Campbell One-Year Deal

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By Chris Wright

Newly-promoted Bundesliga side FC St. Pauli are set to offer veteran Arsenal defender Sol Campbell a lucrative one-year deal to join them in their push to remain in the top flight of German football next season.

Campbell is waiting to open contract negotiations over a new deal at Arsenal following an impressive stint back at the Emirates, but St.

Achtung! Wolfsburg Appoint Steve McClaren As New Manager

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By Ollie Irish

Steve McClaren is the new manager of Bundesliga side Wolfsburg. So long Twente he left them on a high (too much time in Dutch coffee shops perhaps?).

Schteeve has reportedly turned down the chance to return to England in favour of a new, wurst-filled experience in Germany.

Fulham’s Roy Hodgson Named LMA Manager Of The Year

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By Ollie Irish

Fulham's Roy Hodgson has been named as the Manager of the Year by the League Managers Association (LMA), with an "overwhelming" majority of votes.

LMA Chairman Howard Wilkinson says Hodgson's efforts since taking over at Fulham in December 2007 make him a worthy winner in 2009-10.

Tottenham Planning £18m Bid For Luis Fabiano, Man City Want Sunderland Striker Darren Bent

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By Chris Wright

Today's gossip is 100% owned by the Volkswagen Group. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Tottenham are planning to add a world-class striker to their ranks in preparation for next season's Champions League in the guise of Sevilla's Luis Fabiano, and Spurs manager Harry Redknapp is reportedly readying an £18 million bid for the Brazilian hit man.

Video: The BBC World Cup 2010 Teaser

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By Ollie Irish

A very high-quality teaser from the Beeb, as you'd expect. The rainbow theme works a treat.

My World Cup whistle is wet. My vuvuzela too.



Photos: Wayne Rooney And Son Kai Rooney

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By Ollie Irish

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Manchester United's Wayne Rooney with son Kai

Photos: Neal Simpson / EMPICS Sport

Becoming a father for the first time = enough to make you forget about your groin injury, clearly. Cute kid too.

Wolfsburg Goalkeeper Lenz Stabbed, Best World Cup Bets, Steven Gerrard To Man City, Zlatan To Juventus?

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!!

Wayne Rooney holds baby son Kai [PA Photos]

Wolfsburg keeper Andres Lenz stabbed in the back in nightclub fracas [Goaly Moly]

Top five World Cup bets for South Africa [Caught Offside]

Man City prepare MASSIVE bid for angry Steven Gerrard [The Spoiler]

More reasons why Man Utd fans don't want Jose Mourinho [Republik of Mancunia]

Zlatan Ibrahimovic could move back to Juventus this summer, says agent [ESPN]

Karl Robinson named new MK Dons manager he's just 29 years old!

Pies Classics: Mark E Smith Reads The Classified Football Results

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By Ollie Irish

Probably the best thing the BBC has ever done. Scratch that definitely the best thing the Beeb has ever done.

And it almost makes me pine for Ray Stubbs. Almost.



2010 World Cup Rumours: Claude Makelele Rejects Shock France Call-Up

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By Chris Wright


Veteran Paris Saint-Germain midfielder Claude Makelele has turned down the chance to make a shock return to the French national side after rejecting an approach from current coach of Les Bleus, Raymond Domenech.

Man City ‘Close’ To Signing German Defender Jerome Boateng For £11m

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By Ollie Irish

Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini has confirmed that City are close to signing Germany defender Jerome Boateng from Hamburg, for £11million.

"We are quite close to signing him," Mancini told the Manchester Evening News.

Snapshot: E-ON Life Between The Sticks Exhibition, Getty Images Gallery, London

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By Ollie Irish

David James pulls out a truly Great Save for Portsmouth against Tottenham.

Photo: Marc Aspland / The Times

Pies highly recommends you check out the new Life Between the Sticks photo exhibition on the subject of the goalkeeper, in association with FA Cup sponsors E-ON.

Predict England’s Final World Cup 2010 Squad Of 23

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By Ollie Irish

With England's provisional squad of 30 set to be announced on Tuesday, here's my semi-educated stab at predicting Fabio Capello's final 23 (which must be announced by midnight on June 1st).

Note: This is the squad I think Capello will pick, rather than my own choice.

Photos: Exeter City 2-1 Huddersfield – Grecians Win League One Survival

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By Ollie Irish

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Exeter City's Richard Duffy and Huddersfield Town's Theo Robinson battle for the ball

High drama at St James Park (the other one), as Exeter City came from behind to seal their survival in League One.

Arsene Wenger Reveals Theo Walcott In England Squad?

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By Chris Wright

Arsene Wenger has revealed that Arsenal winger Theo Walcott has made the provisional England World Cup squad, according to a highly dubious quote in today's Sun.

The Gunners boss is attributed as saying; "Fabio Capello has made the list and Walcott is on the list.

Top 100 Premier League Photos Of The Season, 2009-10 – Part 1

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By Ollie Irish

This is the story of the 2009-10 Premier League, told in pictures and featuring 100 of the best photos we've seen this season.

Enjoy (click each photo to see the larger version):

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August 2009 - Manchester United's Patrice Evra and Birmingham City's Stephen Carr battle for the ball

Photos: PA



Meet The Real Football Heroes, WIN FA Cup Final Tickets With E.ON – No.4: Neil from Manchester

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The FA Cup final is almost upon us and Portsmouth and Chelsea will soon be battling to win the world's premier domestic cup competition. Along with the FA Cup sponsor E.ON, we think this is a great time to salute some of football's unsung heroes, specifically goalkeepers. They may be stars of tomorrow, or just players who have given a lot back to their community.

Roy Hodgson Wants The Europa League Final Delayed

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By Chris Wright


Fulham manager Roy Hodgson has suggested that UEFA should postpone the Europa League final, which will see his side pitted against Atletico Madrid, due to ongoing travel concerns caused by that pesky cloud of volcanic ash that's currently doing the rounds in the skies above Europe.

World Cup Video: Robinho Dances To Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ For Brazil Ad

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By Ollie Irish

Holy banana kicks Batman, that's even more camp than An Evening With Gerard And Zlatan (I imagine).

The story: three Brazil stars Robinho, Neymar and Ganso do their juggly seal thing to celebrate Seara's sponsorship of the Brazil national team.

Real Madrid To Bid £30m For Steven Gerrard, Joe Cole Wants Slice Of Tottenham’s Champions League Pie

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By Chris Wright

Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Real Madrid are 'ready to exploit the uncertainty at Anfield' by making a £30 million offer for Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard.

Gerrard, who is said to be both 'visually and verbally' at odds with manager Rafa Benitez at the moment, is seriously considering making an exit from his beloved boyhood club in a desperate search for silverware.

Shorts: Gareth Bale Signs New Spurs Contract, Jonny Evans Signs New Man Utd Deal, Ledley King In England World Cup 30

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By Ollie Irish

Shorts!!!

Gareth Bale has signed a new four-year contract with Champions League qualifiers Tottenham. Thank fork for that! A statement on the club's official website read: "The club is delighted to announce that Gareth Bale has signed a new four-year contract which runs until 2014.

Harry Redknapp Handed £40m Champions League Kitty?

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By Chris Wright

Word is that Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp is set to be handed a £40 million transfer kitty to pad out his squad, after securing qualification for next season's Champions League.

Spurs already have a strong squad just look at their bench for the Man City game but they could probably do with adding just a little more quality to their ranks if they are to compete, rather than just feature, in Europe next term.

Stephen Ireland Holds ‘Crunch Talks’ With Man City

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By Chris Wright

Manchester City midfielder Stephen Ireland has held 'crunch talks' with the club to discuss a summer transfer.

According to Goal UK, Ireland has met with City's football administration officer Brian Marwood to outline his plans to leave at the end of the season after falling out of favour at Eastlands.

Photos: Fulham 0-1 Stoke City – Etherington FTW

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By Ollie Irish

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Fulham's Clint Dempsey (right) has words with Stoke City's Ryan Shawcross

Photos: Joe Giddens / EMPICS Sport

Matthew Etherington's fierce strike in the 83rd-minute was enough to earn Stoke three points.

Gareth Barry Out Of 2010 World Cup With Ankle Injury

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By Ollie Irish

The Mirror claims that Barry's ankle injury, suffered against Tottenham on Wednesday evening, is serious enough to prevent him going to the World Cup. If true, this is terrible news for the player a big favourite of Capello but not the end of England's WC hopes; midfield is an area of the pitch where we have decent strength in depth.

Steven Pienaar Wins Everton Player Of The Season Award (With Photos)

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By Ollie Irish

Pics from Everton's end-of-season award ceremony:

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Everton's Phil Jagielka arriving for the Player of the Year awards

Photos: Stephen Pond / EMPICS

Steven Pienaar, who has yet to commit fully to Everton for next season (discussions are ongoing), won the club's Player of the Season award, and rightly so -he's been brilliant for much of the campaign.

World Cup Spot The Baller: 7 May, 2010

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By Ollie Irish

Ahead of England's last international at the old Wembley against Germany who posed with a stuffed lion and D-Becks?

Previous answer: Lucas Neill

What’s The Deal With Zlatan Ibrahimovic And Gerard Pique?

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By Ollie Irish

Loud 'Could they be gay?!' rumblings in the Spanish press due to this recent photo of Zlatan and Pique. The Barcelona duo were snapped during what looks very much like a tender moment between lovers.

A couple of caveats:

1.

Hot WAGs Launch New Umbro World Champions Designer Football Shirts

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By Ollie Irish

WAGs from each of the seven World Cup-winning nations (Italy, Brazil, Germany, Argentina, Uruguay, England and France) were roped in to help launch Umbro's extremely smart new 'World Champions' range. England's WAG? None other than Abigail Clancy, girlfriend of Peter Crouch.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Alexi Lalas & Adam Savage

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By Ollie Irish

Alexi Lalas is a US soccer legend and former boss of LA Galaxy. Adam Savage is the co-host of MythBusters.

David Fong

Thanks David, nice spot.

Send your lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk

GIF Of The Day: The Postmodern Goal Celebration

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By Ollie Irish

Big fan of this.

Meet The Real Football Heroes, WIN FA Cup Final Tickets With E.ON – No.3: Matthew from Leeds

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The FA Cup final is almost upon us and Portsmouth and Chelsea will soon be battling to win the world's premier domestic cup competition. Along with the FA Cup sponsor E.ON, we think this is a great time to salute some of football's unsung heroes, specifically goalkeepers. They may be stars of tomorrow, or just players who have given a lot back to their community.

Montreal Gets MLS Team For 2012, Ledley King In Nightclub Shame, Glazers Reject £1.5bn Bid For Man Utd

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!!

Montreal Impact, or Impact de Montreal for French-Canadians, will join MLS in 2012 [Montreal Gazette]

Ledley King fell out of a nightclub again [Goaly Moly]

World Cup 2010 squad deadlines confirmed by FIFA [World Cup Blog]

The Glazers reject secret £1.

Harry Redknapp Voted Premier League Manager Of The Season

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By Ollie Irish

Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp has been named Barclays Manager of the Season.

"I'm delighted to receive the award but it's a team effort with Kevin (Bond), Joe (Jordan), Clive (Allen), Tony (Parks), Tim (Sherwood), Les (Ferdinand) and all the coaching and fitness staff," Arry told his club's official website.

Jamie Carragher Set For Shock England Return?

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By Chris Wright


Reports in a few of this morning's rags are suggesting that Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher may be poised to make a shock return to the England squad for this summer's World Cup.

Carragher declared his retirement from international football in the summer of 2007 (due to his frustration at the lack of opportunities handed to him by Steve McClaren) but has now indicated a willingness to reverse his decision following a series of secret meetings held with the current England management team.

‘Come To My House With Your Sister And See If I’m Gay’ – Zlatan Ibrahimovic

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By Ollie Irish

In which Zlatan deals with the fallout from that photo by bragging about his how much he likes to bed the ladeez.

Methinks Zlatan doth protest too much.

Camp Drog says:

"Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man.

Why Carlo Ancelotti Is The Manager Of The Season

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By Chris McQuade

A man and his eyebrow

I am relieved that Roy Hodgson wasn't named Barclays Manager of the Season, as so many people seemed to want. Fulham's performances in domestic competition have been below par at best. Fulham finished 7th in the league in 2008/9 and reached the FA Cup quarter-finals.

Photos: Leeds United Promoted And Beckford’s Blue Tongue

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By Paul Sorene

Leeds United are up into the Championship and all eyes are on Jermaine Beckford's blue tongue. Well, not most of the 38,234 in the ground. Just ours. And now yours. Is Beckford ill from hanging around with sheep?

On the web we learn:

There are just a few blue tongued animals in the world.

Eric Cantona – The Most Influential Footballer Of The Last 10 Years

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By Alex Netherton

Eric Cantona is the most influential footballer of the last 10 years. Unfortunately for a website with the comments enabled, this isn't an opinion: it is indisputable fact.

Eric Cantona won five titles in six years. Being French, he had a year off.

Video: Frustrated Steven Gerrard Pushes Young Fan After Liverpool Draw At Hull

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By Ollie Irish

I'm not gonna condemn Gerrard for this (this is a different story). I understand his frustration seventh is quite a long way from first and it was only a shove.

Photos: Chelsea 8-0 Wigan – Ancelotti’s Chelsea Win Premier League

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By Ollie Irish

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Chelsea's John Terry, Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard (left to right) celebrate after the final whistle.

Roberto Martinez just f**ked up any chance he had of a Christmas card from Sir Alex Ferguson. Oh well I think it's almost impossible to argue that Chelsea don't deserve to be Premier League champions this season.

Steven Gerrard Nearing £40m Liverpool Exit, Arsenal Target £5m Shaun Wright-Phillips Move

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By Chris Wright

Monday morning, praise the dawning. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard is reportedly closer than ever to an Anfield exit following his side's 7th place finish in this year's Premier League table, and Manchester City's Arab owners have given the go-ahead for a £40 million move for the visibly dejected midfielder.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Julien Faubert & Vin Diesel

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By Ollie Irish

You see it? I see it. Still shit, mind.

Me!

Got a lookalike for Pies? Send it to ollie@anorak.co.uk

DaMarcus Beasley Announces Rangers Exit Via Twitter

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By Chris Wright

"They're here!"

Rangers midfielder DaMarcus Beasley has confirmed via his Twitter account that he will be leaving the club at the end of the season.

Though the Glasgow club won the Scottish Premier League title again this year, Beasley played a very minimal part in the Ger's success having only made six league appearances due to ongoing injury and fitness problems.

Photos: Chelsea 8-0 Wigan – Ancelotti’s Chelsea Win Premier League

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By Ollie Irish

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Chelsea's John Terry, Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard (left to right) celebrate after the final whistle.

Roberto Martinez just f**ked up any chance he had of a Christmas card from Sir Alex Ferguson.

Video: Frustrated Steven Gerrard Pushes Young Fan After Liverpool Draw At Hull

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By Ollie Irish

I'm not gonna condemn Gerrard for this (this is a different story). I understand his frustration seventh is quite a long way from first and it was only a shove.

Eric Cantona – The Most Influential Footballer Of The Last 10 Years

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By Alex Netherton

Eric Cantona is the most influential footballer of the last 10 years. Unfortunately for a website with the comments enabled, this isn't an opinion: it is indisputable fact.

Eric Cantona won five titles in six years.

Photos: Leeds United Promoted And Beckford’s Blue Tongue

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By Paul Sorene

Leeds United are up into the Championship and all eyes are on Jermaine Beckford's blue tongue. Well, not most of the 38,234 in the ground. Just ours. And now yours. Is Beckford ill from hanging around with sheep?

On the web we learn:

There are just a few blue tongued animals in the world.

Why Carlo Ancelotti Is The Manager Of The Season

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By Chris McQuade

A man and his eyebrow

I am relieved that Roy Hodgson wasn't named Barclays Manager of the Season, as so many people seemed to want. Fulham's performances in domestic competition have been below par at best. Fulham finished 7th in the league in 2008/9 and reached the FA Cup quarter-finals.

‘Come To My House With Your Sister And See If I’m Gay’ – Zlatan Ibrahimovic

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By Ollie Irish

In which Zlatan deals with the fallout from that photo by bragging about his how much he likes to bed the ladeez.

Methinks Zlatan doth protest too much.

Camp Drog says:

"Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man.

Jamie Carragher Set For Shock England Return?

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By Chris Wright


Reports in a few of this morning's rags are suggesting that Liverpool defender Jamie Carragher may be poised to make a shock return to the England squad for this summer's World Cup.

Carragher declared his retirement from international football in the summer of 2007 (due to his frustration at the lack of opportunities at centre-back given to him by then-boss Steve McClaren) but has now indicated a willingness to reverse his decision, following a series of super secret meetings held in a deserted WWII bunker deep within the White Cliffs of Dover with the current England management team.

Harry Redknapp Is Shock Winner Of Premier League Manager Of The Season

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By Ollie Irish

Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp has been named Barclays Manager of the Season.

"I'm delighted to receive the award but it's a team effort with Kevin (Bond), Joe (Jordan), Clive (Allen), Tony (Parks), Tim (Sherwood), Les (Ferdinand) and all the coaching and fitness staff," Arry told his club's official website.

Montreal Gets MLS Team For 2012, Ledley King In Nightclub Shame, Glazers Reject £1.5bn Bid For Man Utd

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!!

Montreal Impact, or Impact de Montreal for French-Canadians, will join MLS in 2012 [Montreal Gazette]

Ledley King fell out of a nightclub again [Goaly Moly]

World Cup 2010 squad deadlines confirmed by FIFA [World Cup Blog]

The Glazers reject secret £1.

GIF Of The Day: The Postmodern Goal Celebration

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By Ollie Irish

Big fan of this.

Meet The Real Football Heroes, WIN FA Cup Final Tickets With E.ON – No.3: Matthew from Leeds

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The FA Cup final is almost upon us and Portsmouth and Chelsea will soon be battling to win the world's premier domestic cup competition. Along with the FA Cup sponsor E.ON, we think this is a great time to salute some of football's unsung heroes, specifically goalkeepers. They may be stars of tomorrow, or just players who have given a lot back to their community.

Sh*t Lookalikes: Alexi Lalas & Adam Savage

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By Ollie Irish

Alexi Lalas is a US soccer legend and former boss of LA Galaxy. Adam Savage is the co-host of MythBusters.

David Fong

Thanks David, nice spot.

Send your lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk

Hot WAGs Launch New Umbro World Champions Designer Football Shirts

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By Ollie Irish

WAGs from each of the seven World Cup-winning nations (Italy, Brazil, Germany, Argentina, Uruguay, England and France) were roped in to help launch Umbro's extremely smart new 'World Champions' range. England's WAG? None other than Abigail Clancy, girlfriend of Peter Crouch.

What’s The Deal With Zlatan Ibrahimovic And Gerard Pique?

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By Ollie Irish

Loud 'Could they be gay?!' rumblings in the Spanish press due to this recent photo of Zlatan and Pique. The Barcelona duo were snapped during what looks very much like a tender moment between lovers.

A couple of caveats:

1.

World Cup Spot The Baller: 7 May, 2010

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By Ollie Irish

Ahead of England's last international at the old Wembley against Germany who posed with a stuffed lion and D-Becks?

Previous answer: Lucas Neill

Steven Pienaar Wins Everton Player Of The Season Award (With Photos)

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By Ollie Irish

Pics from Everton's end-of-season award ceremony:

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Everton's Phil Jagielka arriving for the Player of the Year awards

Photos: Stephen Pond / EMPICS

Steven Pienaar, who has yet to commit fully to Everton for next season (discussions are ongoing), won the club's Player of the Season award, and rightly so -he's been brilliant for much of the campaign.

Stephen Ireland Holds ‘Crunch Talks’ With Man City

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By Chris Wright

Manchester City midfielder Stephen Ireland has held 'crunch talks' with the club to discuss a summer transfer.

According to Goal UK, Ireland has met with City's football administration officer Brian Marwood to outline his plans to leave at the end of the season after falling out of favour at Eastlands.

Gareth Barry Out Of 2010 World Cup With Ankle Injury

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By Ollie Irish

The Mirror claims that Gareth Barry's ankle injury (ligament damage to his right ankle), which the midfielder suffered against Tottenham on Wednesday evening, is serious enough to prevent him going to the World Cup. If true, this is terrible news for the player he's a big favourite of Fabio Capello but, let's be honest, it's not the end of England's WC hopes; midfield is an area of the pitch where we have decent strength in depth.

Photos: Fulham 0-1 Stoke City – Etherington FTW

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By Ollie Irish

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Fulham's Clint Dempsey (right) has words with Stoke City's Ryan Shawcross

Photos: Joe Giddens / EMPICS Sport

Matthew Etherington's fierce strike in the 83rd-minute was enough to earn Stoke three points.

Shorts: Gareth Bale Signs New Spurs Contract, Jonny Evans Signs New Man Utd Deal, Ledley King In England World Cup 30

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By Ollie Irish

Shorts!!!

Gareth Bale has signed a new four-year contract with Champions League qualifiers Tottenham. Thank fork for that! A statement on the club's official website read: "The club is delighted to announce that Gareth Bale has signed a new four-year contract which runs until 2014.

Harry Redknapp Handed £40m Champions League Kitty

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By Chris Wright

Word is that Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp is set to be handed a £40 million transfer kitty to pad out his squad, after securing qualification for next season's Champions League.

Spurs already have a strong squad just look at their bench for the Man City game but they could probably do with adding just a little more quality to their ranks if they are to compete, rather than just feature, in Europe next term.

Photos: Celtic 2-1 Rangers – An Old Firm Win Is Still A Win

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By Ollie Irish

Belatedly, here's a gallery of Celtic's win against Rangers from earlier in the week. It was a feisty affair, as ever, with seven yellow cards and a late red for Rangers midfielder Lee McCulloch:

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A Rangers fan holds up a carboard cutout of USA President Barack Obama wearing a Rangers shirt

Photos: Lynne Cameron / PA Wire

Cold comfort for Celtic after a difficult season, but comfort nonetheless an Old Firm win is always good for bragging rights in Glasgow.

The Treble: Join Pies’ Tipster League, Win Prizes!

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By Ollie Irish

Welcome to the latest edition of The Treble, Pies' new weekly betting column, sponsored by the good people at Titan Bet.

How it works:

1. Pies picks three bets from the coming weekend's matches

2.

Real Madrid To Lodge £30m Bid For Steven Gerrard, Joe Cole Wants A Slice Of Tottenham’s Champions League Pie

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By Chris Wright

Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Real Madrid are 'ready to exploit the uncertainty at Anfield' by making a £30 million offer for Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard.

Gerrard, who is said to be both 'visually and verbally' at odds with manager Rafa Benitez at the moment, is seriously considering making an exit from his beloved boyhood club in a desperate search for silverware.

Sunderland Reject Ahmed Al-Muhammadi Link

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By Chris Wright

Sunderland have rejected claims that they have had a £2.5 million bid accepted by Egyptian side ENPPI for their right-back Ahmed Al-Muhammadi.

Earlier today, ENPPI director of football Alaa Abdul-Sadek told the Egyptian media;

"A Sunderland representative will come to Egypt after the end of the English Premier League to wrap up the deal [for Al-Muhammadi].

World Cup Formbook: Is Tom Huddlestone In Your England 23 For South Africa?

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By Ollie Irish

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Based on his excellent form in 2010, Tottenham midfielder Tom Huddlestone must be in with a 50/50 shout at least of going to South Africa with England.

Shorts: Capello To Look At Sol Campbell, Craig Bellamy To Spurs, Lampard Fears World Cup Penalty Shoot-Out

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By Ollie Irish

Shorts!!!

Fabio Capello will give the title race a miss and instead check out Sol Campbell's form at the Emirates Stadium on the last day of the season, as Arsenal host Fulham. The England gaffer will also check on Theo Walcott's fitness and take another look at Fulham striker Bobby Zamora.

Video: Harry Redknapp Gets Soaked By Tottenham Players After Win At Man City

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By Ollie Irish

It's not American Football, chaps. Still, I chuckled.

MORE

Photos: Man City 0-1 Tottenham – Spurs Qualify For Champions League

Man City Update Tevez ‘Welcome To Manchester' Sign

2010 World Cup Rumours: South Africa To Earn £90k Per Goal

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By Chris Wright

"How much!?!"

The South African football team are rumoured to have been promised R1 million (which, off the top of my head is approx. £86,770.65) for every goal they score at this summer's World Cup.

The South African Football Association have allegedly offered the incentive (that will be shared amongst the entire squad) after FIFA president Sepp Blatter highlighted the fact that Bafana Bafana have only managed 32 goals in their last 34 games.

Photos: Man City 0-1 Tottenham – Spurs Qualify For Champions League

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By Ollie Irish

Arabs 0-1 Yids (had to say it)

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Tottenham Hotspur's starting line up form a group huddle prior to kick off

Some excited Tweets of mine last night:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT THE BED!

Pies Classics: Man City Fan’s Tattoo Predicts 2011 Champions League Win

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By Ollie Irish

Remember this guy? I bet he feels AWESOME right now...

Say hello to Manchester City fan Kirk Bradley. He's 25 years old (hmmm, really? looks more like 35 to me) and he closely resembles a malnourished Fabien Barthez. He's also from Birmingham -Â so Man City's recruitment of plastic fans is coming along nicely.

Video: Motherwell 6-6 Hibernian – The Most Dramatic Match Of The 21st Century?

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By Ollie Irish

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Hibernian's John Rankin and Motherwell's Tom Hateley battle for the ball

You don't get many 12-goal snoozefests, so it's almost redundant to say that Motherwell's 6-6 draw with Hibs was a 12-goal thriller.

Man City Update Tevez ‘Welcome To Manchester’ Sign

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By Ollie Irish

Man City's 1-0 defeat against Tottenham was too much for one little City fan...

Aw, poor wee chap. We've all been there.

But...

Wahay! Sorry kid, that's football a lifetime of joy and pain (pain, mostly) awaits.

Premier League Reject Fulham Fixture Bid

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By Chris Wright

The Premier League have dismissed Fulham's bid to bring their final league game of the season forward by a day, as they say the fixture change would undermine the integrity of the competition and disrupt supporter's travel plans.

Bayern Munich’s Franck Ribery Loses Ban Appeal

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By Chris Wright

Bayern Munich winger Franck Ribery has seen his appeal to overturn his Champions League suspension rejected by UEFA meaning he will now almost definitely miss the final of the competition on May 22nd.

Ribery received a straight red card following a pretty appalling challenge on Lisandro Lopez (see above) during the first leg of Bayern's Champions League semi-final clash with Lyon, which resulted in landing him with a three-game ban from the competition.

Bayern Munich Planning £7m Park Ji-Sung Bid, Chelsea Offered Gonzalo Higuain

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By Chris Wright

Massive election. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Champions League finalists Bayern Munich are said to be preparing a £7 million bid for Manchester United's Park Ji-Sung.

The German side have apparently recognised that United are 'approaching a transitional period' and hope to tempt them into parting with Park to help fund their overhaul.

Man Utd Close To Sealing £28m David Silva Deal?

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By Chris Wright

After issuing a 'come-and-get-me' plea to Manchester United yesterday, it now seems that Valencia winger David Silva is closer than ever to making his protracted switch from the Mestalla to Old Trafford.

Silva told The Daily Express yesterday;

"When you hear a club like Manchester United are interested in you it is an honour.

Schalke Confirm Interest In Chelsea’s Michael Ballack

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By Chris Wright

Schalke 04 have expressed a strong interest in taking Chelsea midfielder Michael Ballack back to the Bundesliga, should the 33-year-old chose not to re-new his contract at the end of the current season.

Schalke's coach Felix Magath has been quoted in today's Berliner Kurier as saying;

"We are indeed interested in signing Michael Ballack.

West Ham Wage Bill Leaked, Rooney Loves Coco Pops, England 2010 World Cup Songs

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By Ollie Irish

Links!

Manchester United's Nani and John O'Shea celebrate a winner at Chester Racecourse. [Photo: PA]

West Ham's silly wage bill revealed? Zola on less than Luis Boa Morte? Madness... [Goaly Moly]

Top 10 players who returned as managers [Mirror]

Before a big game, Wayne Rooney loves a bowl of Coco Pops [FourFourTwo]

Nine pics of PM Gordon Brown with famous footballers [The Spoiler]

Football and happiness does it really matter who wins?

2010 World Cup Songs: ‘We’re With You’ By KARA

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By Ollie Irish

Korean pop at its most sugary. Who knows what they're on about and frankly, who cares?

MORE KARA
‘Mister' by KARA – South Korean girl group proclaims love for ‘chubby' Frank Lampard

Man City Or Tottenham – Who Gets Fourth?

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By Ollie Irish

Arry Redknapp spying at Eastlands in February

It's ridiculous that we're all so worked up about fourth place, but I can't suppress my excitement at the thought of tonight's match at Eastlands, which is essentially a playoff for entry into next season's Champions League.

Top 35 Football League Photos Of The Year, 2009-10

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By Ollie Irish

Another dramatic Football League season is in the bag (bar the playoffs). Pies has selected its favourite pics of the campaign for you. There are some crackers in there, so enjoy...

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September 2009 - A dramatic sky over the Fraser Eagle Stadium, Accrington, before Stanley's League Two match against Darlington.

Unsettled Kaka Flirting With Manchester City?

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By Ollie Irish

Kaka turned down the chance to join the Manchester City revolution last summer, but he seems to have changed his tune of late:

"The match between City and Spurs is so much more important than three points," the Brazilian told the Express.

Nott’m Forest Wrap Up Deal For Radoslaw Majewski

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By Chris Wright

Cheer up munchkin

It's not often I get to do a Forest story on Pies so, due the paucity of anything else happening in the world of football today, consider this my monthly quota filler I promise I'll keep it brief (it's a slow day anyway).

Top Five Man City Vs Tottenham Videos

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By Ollie Irish

May the fourth be with you (yeah, I know that was yesterday I mean fourth place, natch).

Some of the best Man City vs Spurs vids on the interwebs:

1. Spurs 3-4 Man City, 2004
An astonishing FA Cup comeback by City, who were 3-0 down at halftime, then went down to ten men after Joey Barton's red card, but still managed to score four unanswered goals in the second half.

Arsene Wenger Agrees Arsenal Contract Extension

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By Chris Wright

Good news for the Gooners. Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has verbally agreed a two-year contract extension.

Wenger, whose current deal runs until the summer of 2011, has reportedly told the club's board that he intends to stay at the Emirates until 2013 at the earliest.

Man City Bullied Tottenham – Harry Redknapp

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By Ollie Irish

Harry Redknapp has revealed that Tottenham were bullied, effectively, by Manchester City when the two clubs were involved in a bidding war for Wales striker Craig Bellamy.

"They blow you out of the water," Redknapp said.

Konami Reveals PES 2011 Details (With Lionel Messi Video Teaser) – Master League Online At Last

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By Ollie Irish

Fresh details on the next version of Pro Evolution Soccer, PES 11 (due for a September/October 2011 launch):

"Central to its total freedom of play, PES 2011 introduces a power bar for each player that allows the user to determine the exact strength and placement of every pass and shot.

Man Utd Target Serbian International Milos Krasic, Liverpool Target Serbian International Marko Pantelic

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By Chris Wright

Serb-idacious. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Manchester United are hopeful of tying up a £16 million pre-World Cup deal for CSKA Moscow's Milos Krasic.

The Serbian winger put in a string of impressive performances during last season's Champions League (most notably against United themselves) and Sir Alex Ferguson is to act quickly to avoid getting caught in an almost inevitable bidding war should Krasic impress in South Africa.

WAG Watch: Giovani Dos Santos Breaks Up With Girlfriend Belinda

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By Ollie Irish

Big news, people. Tottenham reject Gio Dos Santos has split up with pop-star girlfriend Belinda.

That's all I can write at the moment. Too gutted. Sniff.

Eidur Gudjohnsen Denies Nazi Salute, Ronaldo & Drogba In Pants, Ben Foster To Birmingham, Kaka To Chelsea?

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By Ollie Irish

Links!!

Annie Liebowitz shot World Cup stars in their underwear for Vanity Fair, including Pato, C-Ron, Didier Drogba and Landon Donovan [Kickette &Â 101GreatGoals]

Eidur Gudjohnsen to take legal action against Daily Star after Nazi salute allegation [Goaly Moly]

Chelsea to make big offer for Kaka this summer?

Photos: Arsenal 2-3 Everton, FA Women’s Cup Final – Natasha Dowie Double Wins It

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By Ollie Irish

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Arsenal team group

Congrats to Everton's women on a thrilling FA Cup final victory against favourites Arsenal, at Nottingham Forest's City ground on Monday. Natasha Dowie (Iain's niece) scored the winner in extra time her second of the game to prevent Arsenal winning a fifth successive final.

World Cup Stuff: Pies Eats The England Celebration Sponge Cake

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By Ollie Irish

Hearty thanks to Elisabeth the Chef for sending Pies a delicious England Celebration sponge cake. At time of writing, the cake no longer resembles the above press photo half of it has been devoured, leaving only the sugary faces of Rio Ferdinand, John Terry and Frank Lampard intact (I can't bring myself to eat John Terry's big face not yet anyway).

Photos: The Saturdays Brighten Up United Relief Charity Match, Jaap Stam Back At Old Trafford

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By Ollie Irish

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The Saturdays perform before the United Relief Live match at Old Trafford

Girl group The Saturdays provided the eye candy if not the ear candy at United Relief on Saturday.

Will Chelsea Slip Up Against Wigan?

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By Ollie Irish

Chelsea should beat Wigan at Stamford Bridge and win the Prem title. Of course they should.

But... consider this: Chelsea have won just one of their previous five final-day games in the Premier League, with three of them ending 1-1.

Liverpool’s Lap Of Honour Looked Like Fun! (With Photos)

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By Ollie Irish

It's traditional for footballers to go on a lap of honour after their last home game of the season more as a show of appreciation for the fans' support than anything else but sometimes it's a tradition you really don't want to be a part of...

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Liverpool's Fernando Torres walks round the pitch dejected after the final whistle at Anfield

I'm not surprised Liverpool's players didn't want to stay out on the pitch after their feeble display against Chelsea.

Carlton Cole Apologises To West Ham Fans

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By Chris Wright

West Ham striker Carlton Cole has apologised to the Hammer's supporters following what has proven to be a tumultuous season at Upton Park.

Despite an ownership change, financial problems and a Damocles-esque sword hanging over manager Gianfranco Zola's head for the best part six months, The Hammers have secured their place in the Premier League next season a season Cole hopes will prove to be much more successful;

"We haven't been good enough and hopefully next season we can put it right.

Horror Hair: Paul Scharner Says ‘Thanx’ To Wigan Fans, Looks For New Club

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By Ollie Irish

Thanx but no thanx

What better way to show your gratitude to fans at the end of a long season than by dying the word 'Thanx' into the back of your head? Exactly.

Scharner has played his last game for Wigan against Hull City on Monday and is looking for a move to another Prem club.

Top 10 Premier League Photos: 1-3 May, 2010

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By Ollie Irish

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Manchester City's Vincent Kompany (back) challenges Aston Villa's Gabriel Agbonlahor

Photos: PA

Snapshot: Portsmouth Fan Proposes To Girlfriend At Half-Time

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By Ollie Irish

Photo: Daniel Hambury / EMPICS Sport

Pies wishes Neil and Elaine all the best (if she said yes, that is who knows?). And jobsite has to be one of the most romantic websites out there. Aw.

Photos: Sheffield Wednesday 2-2 Crystal Palace – Owls Relegated, Eagles Survive

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By Ollie Irish

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A sad Ossie the Owl mourns Sheffield Wednesday's relegation

The most exciting match of the weekend saw Sheffield Wednesday host Crystal Palace, with the Owls needing a win to survive.

Chelsea To Make €80m Raid For AC Milan Duo?

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By Chris Wright

Reports in today's Il Corriere dello Sport are suggesting that Chelsea are preparing a mammoth €80 million double raid on AC Milan for their Brazilian pair, striker Alexandre Pato and centre-back Thiago Silva.

Gianluigi Buffon Hints At Premier League Move

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By Chris Wright

Juventus 'keeper Gianluigi Buffon has given his biggest hint yet that a switch to the Premier League is on the cards in the not-too-distant future.

The 32-year-old stopper waved off speculation linking him with Man City last week, but in an interview with Sky Sports Italia, 'Gigi' admitted he could be tempted by a move to England;

"My will to leave Juve is the same as their will to let me go.

Coventry City Sack Manager Chris Coleman

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By Chris Wright

Coventry City have confirmed that manager Chris Coleman has been relieved of his duties following a woeful run of form.

Coleman has paid the price for an underwhelming season with the Sky Blues, who finished the season in 19th place in the Championship.

Fernando Torres Considering His Liverpool Future? Thierry Henry Planning MLS Switch

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By Chris Wright

Considerable. Here's the round up...

Rumour No. 1: Liverpool face a struggle to keep hold of striker Fernando Torres, who is said to be considering his future at the club.

The Spanish hitman is known to have been unhappy at the 'lack of investment' at Anfield for some time and, should he not receive assurances that a proposed takeover is imminent, Torres will walk out of the club and into the waiting arms of either Manchester City, Chelsea or Barcelona.

Liverpool Planning Move For Free Agent Joe Cole?

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By Chris Wright

According to The Daily Mail this morning, Liverpool are planning to usher in a new dawn with a Bosman move for Chelsea winger Joe Cole.

Cole is said to have infuriated Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich with his 'optimistic' contract demands, with the Russian oligarch eventually deciding to suspend any further negotiations until the end of the season prompting speculation that Abramovich would rather see the England midfielder walk out of the club on a free transfer than kowtow to his £120,000-a-week wage requests.

Meet The Real Football Heroes, WIN FA Cup Final Tickets With E.ON – No.2: Cedric From Swindon

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The FA Cup final is almost upon us and Portsmouth and Chelsea will soon be battling to win the world's premier domestic cup competition. Along with the FA Cup sponsor E.ON, we think this is a great time to salute some of football's unsung heroes, specifically goalkeepers. They may be stars of tomorrow, or just players who have given a lot back to their community.

Video: Tottenham vs Bolton – Spurs Ball Boy Runs On Pitch, Stops Play

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By Ollie Irish

That's his career as a ball boy in the shitter then. Poor lad.

Via 101GreatGoals

Steve McLaren Guides FC Twente To First Eredivisie Title, Wolfsburg Next?

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By Ollie Irish

Schteeeve McLaren "I will schelebrate my succschess with a big fat schmoke"

McLaren's FC Twente won the Eredivisie this weekend, for the first time in its history, pipping Ajax by a point. It's a remarkable rehabilitation for the much-mocked Englishman, whose career was in tatters when England failed to qualify for Euro 2008.

Photos: Charlton 1-0 Leeds United, League One – Sodje Steals It

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By Ollie Irish

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Charlton Athletic's Lloyd Sam (l) and Leeds United's Shane Lowry (r) battle for the ball

Photos: Neil Tingle / EMPICS

Akpo Sodje's 88th-minute header, which crashed in off Leeds United's Richard Naylor, means that Leeds still need a win against Bristol Rovers on the last day of the season to be guaranteed automatic promotion.

Alex Ferguson: ‘I’d Sign Cristiano Ronaldo For £60m’

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By Ollie Irish

Sir Alex Ferguson says the only way he would spend a serious amount of money on a single player would be to re-sign former Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo.

The United boss says the inflated price of players in the transfer market does not give a reflection of their true value and that he would not spend over the odds in the summer except in buying back C-Ron.

Photos: Notts County 5-0 Cheltenham – League Two Champions Hit Five Again

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By Ollie Irish

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A Notts County fan wears a shirt with Champions 2010 on the back.

Photos: Andrew Matthews / PA

In which the League Two champs hit five goals for the second match in a row, and in their final home game of the season.

The Football Hard Men Index No.5: Dunga

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By Ollie Irish

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Name: Carlos Caetano Bledorn Verri, aka 'Dunga' (after Dopey, one of the Seven Dwarves because of his lack of stature when he was young)

Nationality: Brazilian

Position: Defensive midfielder

Why so hard?