Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2009

Spot the Baller: 27 August 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Got an idea who this Villa player is (click photo to enlarge)? Leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday's answer: Steve Perryman Not a big response to this one, perhaps proving that most people aren't interested in pre-Premier League...

Which British club got the best Champions League draw?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 5 views
This is how the balls dropped (British teams in bold): GROUP A Bayern Munich, Juventus, Bordeaux, Maccabi Haifa GROUP B Man Utd, CSKA Moscow, Besiktas, Wolfsburg GROUP C AC Milan, Real Madrid, Marseille, FC Zurich GROUP D Chelsea, Porto,...

West Ham v Millwall fallout: now with racist chants

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 4 views
Collison, Collison Where's your dad? Collison, Collison Where's your dad? Oh, that's right, he's dead! Unlucky Collison A small section of Millwall fans allegedly chanted this to Jack Collison, whose dad had died a couple of days earlier in...

In photos: Newcastle United 4-3 Huddersfield Town, Carling Cup

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Just your average seven-goal thriller at St James' Park last night (highlights here). At one stage, Newcastle were 3-1 down, but goals in the second half by Geremi, Shola Ameobi and Kevin Nolan were enough to see the home side...

GIF of the day: The Jimmy Hill Dancing Boy

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Sincere apologies if this gives you nightmares for months....

Brazilian footballer almost killed by chewing gum (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 16 views
Brazilian striker Aloisio made a memorable debut for Vasco da Gama on Tuesday, in a league match against Brasiliense. Not memorable good though; memorable bad. Bad meaning fatal, almost. In the second half Aloisio knocked heads with an opponent...

West Ham v Millwall: now with racist chants

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
Collison, Collison Where's your dad? Collison, Collison Where's your dad? Oh, that's right, he's dead! Unlucky Collison A section of Millwall fans allegedly chanted this to Jack Collison, whose dad had died a couple of days earlier in a...

In photos: Doncaster 1-5 Tottenham, Carling Cup

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
My gawd! What has Arry Redknapp done to my Spurs? He's only gawn and turned 'em into a pwoppa team. Even without their strongest XI, Tottenham were far too strong for Doncaster Rovers. You can see the confidence in this...

What is Manchester City's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
This is where you get to pick City's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'll reveal my selection (based on their squad at time of writing). My default XI (in a 4-3-3 formation): Shay Given Micah Richards,...

Transfer Toss: Franck Ribery agrees to join Real Madrid next season, Wes Sneijder joins Inter now

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 6 views
Ribery: makes animals uncomfortable The Spanish media says that Ribery's agent, Alain Migliaccio, has an agreement with Florentino Perez for his player to move to Real Madrid next summer, on a five-year contract. AS claims that Madrid expect to...

West Ham v Millwall: NOT the chants of the week

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 5 views
Collison, Collison Where's your dad? Collison, Collison Where's your dad? Oh, that's right, he's dead! Unlucky Collison A section of Millwall fans allegedly chanted this to Jack Collison, whose dad had died a couple of days earlier in a...

In photos: Arsenal 3-1 Celtic (5-1 agg), Champions League

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
The best pics from Arsenal's easy win against Celtic at the Emirates last night (video highlights here). Click on the image to launch the gallery (right-click each photo to see the high-res large version):...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Joleon Lescott's forehead and half of the Chinese symbol for 'Panda'

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Chringle is back in the game. So much for thinking outside the box - with Chringle, there is no box. Got a Shit Lookalike for us? Email me with your shout(s). The shitter, the better....

Eduardo's popularity takes a dive (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Two days after I named Eduardo as one of the most popular players in the Premier League, he goes and does this: Arsenal Cheats - Funny video clips are a click away Oh dear. Blatant dive by the Croatian. Not...

Spot the Baller: 26 August 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Know who this ball-headed baller is (click to enlarge)? Leave a comment with your answer. Monday's answer: Jermaine Jenas Well done to Shay, who was the first reader to get it right. The Man of Ro was the only...

GIF of the day: The Robinho dance

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
"Hypnotic, delightful, innovative... Robinho, you're through to the next round of Britain's Got Talent." MORE HOT GIFS Top 8 Michael Ballack v Norwegian ref GIFs GIF of the day: Cristiano Ronaldo throws a tantrum GIF of the day: The...

In photos: Joleon Lescott and Sylvinho unveiled at Man City

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Not the first time this summer that we've seen some very happy -Â and very wealthy - players holding up a Man City shirt. City's squad just gets stronger and stronger, almost to the point where you have to take them...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Shola Ameobi and Caster Semenya (the South African athlete who definitely doesn't have an Adam's apple)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Thanks to Chris Keen for this tremendous spot. Can you do better than Chris? Email Pies with your suggestion(s)....

Forgotten wonder goals: Gokhan Gonul, Diyarbakirspor v Fenerbahce

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Gokul's precise finish, made after an overlapping run down the right wing, was the perfect way to end to a brilliant counter attack. Even Roberto Carlos, who was a key player in the move and who might have shot...

Photo Gallery: Arsenal and Celtic prepare for second leg of Champions League playoff

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
Arsenal meet Celtic tonight at the Emirates, with a lucrative place in the Champions League group stage at place. The Goons are 2-0 up after the leg at Parkhead and I don't see how they can throw away such a...

Flashback: Dwight Yorke wins Britain's 'Best Dressed Man' award

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
File under "Ironic Football Photos We Have Enjoyed"... Yes, believe it or not, in 1999 Dwight Yorke was voted Britain's "Best Dressed Man", beating such dapper gents as "Ronan Keating, Johnny Vaughan, Martin Kemp and Jeremy Paxman". Obviously the Tiger...

West Ham v Millwall: the hooligans are back

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Not this again. A dark evening for English football began with fighting in the Upton Park area, even before the Carling Cup tie between West Ham and Millwall had kicked off. Then came an ugly chain of events to...

In photos: the Upton Park pitch invasion

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 4 views
Click on the photo below to launch the gallery. Remember, don't feed the animals......

Photo Gallery: Sol Campbell joins Notts County's 'Svenolution'

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
"I think you would play very nice up front for Sven. Very nice ladies..." That Sven, eh! You never know what he's going to do next. I certainly didn't imagine him going from Mexico to Meadow Lane, but that's...

Rumour Swill: Anderson falls out with Alex Ferguson

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 8 views
"Look, I'm not a fucking buftie, and that's the end of it." This from today's Mail: "Anderson has been told he can leave Manchester United following a furious fall-out with manager Sir Alex Ferguson. "It is understood the Brazilian...

Pro Evo 2010 v FIFA 10: which one will you buy?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
This YouTube vid gives us a rough first look at the relative merits of the new versions of Pro Evolution Soccer (Konami) and FIFA (EA). PES up first, then FIFA's clips follow... From all I've read and seen, there won't...

Photo Gallery: Norwich 1-4 Sunderland, Carling Cup

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Andy Reid was in inspired form last night, leading Sunderland to a comfortable win at Carrow Road. Did the Irishman do enough to play his way into Steve Bruce's starting team for the Mackems' league game at Stoke on Saturday?...

The XI: Popular Premier League players

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
After posting up our Unpopular XI, here's the flip side of the coin, namely the Prem's good guys: Shay Given (Man City) Never heard a bad word said about him. Oh, and he's world-class. Popular and brilliant at his job?...

FAIL: Arsenal begins 'Arsenalisation' of the Emirates Stadium

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 9 views
"Look around Emirates Stadium and maybe, just maybe, one or two little things will strike you as being different. That's because the process of 'Arsenalisation' - turning the Gunners' home into a very visible stronghold of all things Arsenal...

What is Chelsea's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
This is where you get to pick Chelsea's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'll reveal my selection (based on their squad at time of writing). My default XI (in Carlo Ancelotti's 4-4-2 diamond formation):...

Liverpool are NOT out of the title race

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Firstly, congrats to Villa, who not only needed this win but deserved it - although it should be said that Liverpool had their chances. First victory at Anfield in eight years. Have to say I didn't see it coming....

Bolivian football seriously harms you and others around you (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
This shocking series of incidents happened on Sunday during the Bolivian derby (aka the "clasico cruceno") between Oriente Petrolero (yes, the club was founded by an oil company) and Club Blooming. Both teams come from Santa Cruz, and -...

Top 10 links, featuring Jozy Altidore's fine Hull debut

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
1. "One 100% heterosexual ass-tap, administered by Steve Parkin (Hull City's first-team coach), propelled Jozy Altidore into the Premier League arena for the first time. That's how we do things in England..." [@ BigSoccer]...

Rochdale AFC v U2: Bono wins

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Check out the appalling state of the pitch at Rotherham's Don Valley Stadium (which is actually located in Sheffield) after U2 played a gig there:...

Photo Gallery: Crystal Palace v Newcastle United, Championship

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
The best pics from Newcastle's impressive 2-0 win at Crystal Palace. Click on the image below to see the photos (yes, I know our current gallery function is a bit rubbish, but there is a new, improved one on the...

(Back)pass of the weekend: Carlton Cole to Jermain Defoe, West Ham v Spurs

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Beautiful through ball from Coley to Defoe. Oh. No. Seriously, what was Cole thinking? An early contender for worst pass of the season. Although for Spurs fans, it looked like a game-changing pass of rare beauty....

Spot the Baller: 24 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Who the dickens is this England international? Leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday's answer: Steve Bould Well done to all who identified the Boulder....

Snapshot: Liam Gallagher is delighted to meet Wolves players

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Both Gallagher brothers were at Eastlands on Saturday to see Man City beat Wolves. Before the game, they took time out to pose for photos with a couple of Wolves players, namely Matt Hill and Sam Vokes. First up, Noel:...

Reluctant Everton agree to sell Joleon Lescott to Man City, but only for £24m

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
This statement from Everton's official website: "Everton has agreed an undisclosed fee with Manchester City for the transfer of defender Joleon Lescott. The Club had previously rejected two offers for the England centre back, with David Moyes repeatedly stating...

Talking point: Who should Everton buy to replace Joleon "Judas" Lescott?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
We all know that Joleon Lescott, who is set to become the second most expensive defender in history, wants to leave Everton for one reason - a substantial pay rise. And so I understand if some Evertonians call him...

Top 10 photos from the Premier League: 22/23 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Another fascinating weekend in the Prem. Pies has the best photos -Â click the image below to launch the gallery:...

Vote: who was your player of the weekend?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
My player of the weekend: Aaron Lennon (Spurs) Lennon was very lively at Upton Park - it's clear that he's getting better all the time. He kept Jonathan Spector on his toes all game and scored a brilliant solo winner,...

Fergie, get your stinking paws off Luka Modric

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 19 views
A terrible artist's impression of how Luka Modric might look in a Man Utd kit if he was a Bobblehead and not a real person Message to Fergie: You took Carrick, you took Berbatov, but you're not gonna take...

Calum Davenport has leg surgery after being stabbed at home by intruder

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
West Ham defender Calum Davenport and his mother were stabbed at home in Bedford last night. Davenport was rushed to hospital where he underwent emergency surgery on "serious" injuries to both his legs. A West Ham spokesman said: "We...

Photo Gallery: Liverpool unveil new defender Sotirios Kyrgiakos

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
And lo, Rafa dipped his trotter into the bargain basement and came up with this big, ugly defender that no one has heard of. Kyrgiakos, who is reputed to be a bit of a hardman -Â you wouldn't know it from...

Spot the Baller: 21 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Who's the skipper? Leave a comment if you think you know (click image to enlarge). Yesterday's answer: Danny Murphy Good detective work by Adam and Shay. Not easy, that....

Viral videos: Theo Walcott gets a tattoo, Ashley Young gets a Gaelic Football lesson

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
A couple of virals doing the rounds today: First up, cuddly Theo Walcott gets a dirty great tattoo on his arm: This has some link to Nike football boots. No idea what the link is, mind....

Transfer Toss: Which club will rescue Newcastle's Steven Taylor from his Championship hell?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Poor Steven Taylor, stuck in the Championship while all the cool kids have fun in the Premier League. He has even started sitting on walls, looking moodily into the distance. It's a worrying sign. Several Prem clubs are reportedly...

Pies v Lawro, Premier League predictions: 22-24 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Mark "Lawro" Lawrenson isn't getting away lightly. Pies v Lawro is back! And it's, er, the same as it ever was. If you haven't played Pies v Lawro before, here's how it works. Lawro makes his predictions for the weekend's...

Roy Hodgson: "I'd rather have lost in Europe than lose Andy Johnson to injury"

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
A good win for Fulham last night, against Amkar Perm in the Europe League, was marred by an injury to striker Andy Johnson. The Englishman scored the opening goal in Fulham's 3-1 win, in the fourth minute, but in...

What is Real Madrid's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
How to squeeze so many superstars into just one team? That's the major challenge facing Real Madrid boss Sam the Eagle. Here's the default team I would go with (based on Real's squad at time of posting): My XI...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Deco and Doug Robb, lead singer of Hoobastank

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
"I think their eyebrows don't get on with each other," says Oller of these two peas in a shitpod. Cheers Oller, good call. Incidentally, Hoobastank is possibly the worst band name in the history of popular music. Got a...

Football merch: 'Kopites are Gobshites' anti-Liverpool T-shirt

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Are Kopites gobshites? No comment, your honour. Available from Objectivo.com, priced $24. MORE TEES Burnley 1-0 Man Utd. You watched the game, now buy the T-shirt Giuseppe Rossi Judas T-shirt Top 10 footballers who revealed T-shirts with messages...

How much would you pay for Championship Manager 2010?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
In a move that echoes Radiohead's innovative marketing of "In Rainbows", Eidos is selling the digital version of Championship Manager 2010 on a "Pay What You Want" basis. A press release says: "From the time the shop goes live today...

Jack Rodwell runs the show for Everton against Sigma Olomouc

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
A morale-boosting win for Everton, and David Moyes can thank 18-year-old Jack Rodwell, who gave perhaps his best performance for the club, and on his European debut. He scored with two long-range shots, the second being an abosolute screamer....

Flashback: Dion Dublin signs for Manchester United, forced to wear rubbish baseball cap

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
"Er, gaffer, the hat's a bit too big. And I know I'm black but, er, not all black guys wear baseball caps. I do have a magnificent penis though..." "Shut up and smile for the cameras, big man. You're...

Flashback: How a drunken Ossie Ardiles dented the FA Cup trophy in 1981

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
I remember the 1981 centenary FA Cup final, if not like it was yesterday then a lot more recently than 28 years ago. It was the season I began supporting Spurs, and so I'll always have very fond memories...

The Football WAG Index No.7: Luli Fernandez

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Luli is from Argentina and she's a model who thinks wearing clothes is overrated. She's currently dating compatriot Fernando Gago, who plays for Real Madrid. But these are just meaningless words and I guess you've already clicked on the picture...

Photo Gallery: Burnley 1-0 Man Utd, Premier League

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
All hail Robbie Blake, who looks like a plasterer but thankfully doesn't play like one. His terrific strike put paid to Man Utd on a famous night for Burnley. United had their chances, notably a Michael Carrick penalty that was...

Jonathan Greening v Damien Duff: who's the better signing for Fulham?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Uncle Woy Hodgson has strengthened his squad with the addition of Damien Duff (signed from Newcastle for au undisclosed fee) and Jonathan Greening (taken on a season-long loan from West Brom). Duff will add some much-needed width to Fulham's...

Photo Gallery: Burnley 0-1 Man Utd, Premier League

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
All hail Robbie Blake, who looks like a plasterer but thankfully doesn't play like one. His terrific strike put paid to Man Utd on a famous night for Burnley. United had their chances, notably a Michael Carrick penalty that was...

What is Liverpool's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
"Weeeeeeeeeee!" This is where you get to step into Rafa's shiny slip-ons and pick Liverpool's best starting line-up for this season. First up though, I'll reveal my selection (based on the Pool's squad at time of writing). I meant...

Photo Gallery: Hull City 1-5 Tottenham Hotspur, Premier League

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
We are top of the league, sing we are top of the league... Tottenham's perfect start to this season couldn't be in starker contrast to the nightmare of 08/09. Props to Arry Redknapp, who has managed to create what looks...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Jamie Carragher and Derek Zoolander

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
When Carra was all bandaged up for last night's game against Stoke (photo gallery up next, btw), the first face that flashed into my head was that of Derek Zoolander. For serious. MORE Shit Lookalikes: Rafa Benitez and Derek...

Spot the Baller: 20 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Who's the Liverpool player doing his defensive duty on the post (click image to enlarge)? If you know the answer, or you just want to make a wild guess, leave a comment with your shout. Previous answer: Mikael Silvestre...

Photo Gallery: Newcastle United 1-0 Sheffield Wednesday, Championship

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
One draw and two wins now for Newcastle, who move up to third in the Championship table. Shola Ameobi's fourth goal in two games was enough to sink the Owls at St James' Park. The game was watched by almost...

Burnley 1-0 Man Utd. Get the T-shirt

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
That didn't take long! Available now from Newstowear, priced just £9.99 Anyone brave enough to send one of these to Fergie? I'd say he's a Large these days....

Burnley 1-0 Man Utd. You watched the game, now buy the T-shirt

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
That didn't take long! Available now from Newstowear, priced just £9.99 As one of Pies' Twitter followers just pointed out, there is one small problem with the shirt - they got the date wrong. D'oh! Anyone brave enough to send...

Video: Man City beat mighty Barcelona in the Camp Nou

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 17 views
OK, just a friendly -Â it was the annual Joan Gamper Trophy -Â but still a great result for City's morale. Looking at the line-ups/subs [@ Goal], you can see just how seriously Pep Guardiola and Sparky Hughes treated it: FC...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Manuel Pellegrini and Sam the Eagle from The Muppets

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
This jumped out at me, as Shit Lookalikes sometimes do. (Pellegrini is Real Madrid's new manager, btw.) Got a lookalike for Pies? Email me with your shout(s)....

The XI: Unpopular Premier League players

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
With C-Ron gone, it's time for someone to step up and take his place as the Prem's least popular player. Here's Pies selection for a team of the most unpopular players in the league: Paul Robinson (Blackburn) Out-of-form goalkeepers may...

Twitter says Rafa Benitez has quit Liverpool

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Twitter is almost on fire, the result of a scorchingly hot rumour that Rafa Benitez has walked out on Liverpool. There is no concrete reason to believe this internet chatter, but I will say that it wouldn't surprise me...

Twitter says Rafa Benitez has quit Liverpool ... Twitter is wrong

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Twitter is almost on fire, the result of a scorchingly hot rumour that Rafa Benitez has walked out on Liverpool. There is no concrete reason to believe this internet chatter, but I will say that it wouldn't surprise me...

I love this season already

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
I don't know if it's because the recession has levelled the playing field - by weakening the big four - but already this season feels very different. By different, I mean unpredictable. And about time too. For years we...

FAIL: Female Leeds United fan mistimes goal celebration

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Caught during Leeds United's 2-1 win at Walsall last night. Jermaine Beckford scored the winner in the 86th minute, causing ecstatic scenes in the away end -Â only one female Leeds fan cocked up her rush to the front. That's...

David Moyes drops Joleon Lescott from Everton team for 'poor attitude'

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
We hear that Joleon Lescott has been dropped for Everton's Europa League qualifier against Sigma Olomouc on Thursday. David Moyes said of Lescott: "His attitude in the past few days has been poor and for that reason I won't...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Albert Riera and Hopper from 'A Bug's Life'

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
I don't know how much crack Steven Bernasconi has been inhaling, but it's clearly the good stuff. This is the sort of Shit Lookalike Pies wants -Â madder than Stephen Ireland. Can you do better than Steven? Email Pies with...

What is Manchester United's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
"Pick me, pick me!" This is where you get to pick United's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'll reveal my selection (based on United's squad at time of writing). I planned to post this before the...

Patrice Evra is an iPod Nazi

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Bow down and tremble at these mad Photoshop skills. Ahem So apparently Evra is an iPod Nazi. (That's OK, Patrice - so am I.) According to our chums at The Spoiler, the feisty Frenchman has appointed himself Man Utd's...

Celtic 0-2 Arsenal: mature Gunners show skill and steel

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Arsenal won't score a pair of luckier goals this season, but they deserved their luck. The Premier League side outclassed Celtic -Â Tony Mowbray's team didn't play that badly but ran out of steam - and will surely now finish...

In photos: Sunderland 1-3 Chelsea

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Chelsea have six points out of six and yet they have stuttered in beating Hull and Sunderland -Â God help their rivals if they start playing to their potential. Darren Bent put Sunderland ahead last night to fuel hopes of...

In photos: Wigan Athletic 0-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Sheesh, how frustrating football is. You beat Aston Villa away then go and lose to Wolves at home. Or, you lose at home to West Ham then go to an in-form Wigan and come away with three points. Funny....

Rafa Benitez tells Fernando Torres to stop 'dicking around' and 'start scoring'

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
Fernando Torres' job is to score goals. Simple, especially for a striker as talented as he is. Except Torres seems to have taken his eye off the ball (or, as Jamie Redknapp would say, "He's literally taken his eye...

Let's all laugh at... Chelsea's players walking to the Stadium of Light

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Not sure why Chelsea's bus didn't make it all the way into the Stadium of Light. Perhaps their driver is Deco's dad and the little Portuguese playmaker was embarrassed: "Drop me off here Dad, I'll walk the rest of...

Six Premier League forwards you should consider for your fantasy football team

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
EXPENSIVE Didier Drogba (Chelsea) Yes, he's a bit of a c**t, but I still rate The Drog as the best striker in the world; only when he wants to be though. Luckily for Chelsea fans, it looks like their favourite...

Spot the Baller: 18 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Think you know who this is? Leave a comment with your shout. Previous answer: Guti Damn modern players with their distinctive football boots. Too easy by far....

Sh*t Lookalikes: Karim Benzema and Pitbull (Cuban rapper)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 4 views
Thanks to Adam Wyszynski for the suggestion. Got a lookalike you want to see on Pies? Email me with your shout(s)....

In-form Arsenal will destroy Celtic, right? Wrong...

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
After just one fantastic performance, Arsenal are now The Form Team in the Universe. Which means they'll pass Celtic - an average team at best - off the park in tonight's Champions League playoff at Parkhead, right? If only...

Arsene Wenger has the skills to pay the bills

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Prof. Wenger shows off his ball skills during a training session ahead of Arsenal's Champions League playoff against Celtic. The first leg takes place tonight in Glasgow....

Why did Martin O'Neill throw Fabian Delph in at the deep end against Wigan?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Many Villa fans are starting to wonder if Martin O'Neill is actually the managerial messiah so many people have claimed him to be. O'Neill had a very poor summer, losing some of his best players and then failing miserably...

The brilliance of Jimmy Bullard (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Most Prem footballers are vain eejuts. Not our Jimmy, who despite being a money-grabbing traitor (a Fulham fan's view) is still the biggest character in the top flight. MORE JIMMY Shit Lookalikes: Jimmy v Queen's Roger Taylor Jimmy cracks...

Man City fan's new tattoo predicts Champions League win in 2011

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Say hello to Manchester City fan Kirk Bradley. He's 25 years old (hmmm, really? looks more like 35 to me) and he closely resembles a malnourished Fabien Barthez. He's also from Birmingham -Â so Man City's recruitment of plastic fans...

The Football WAG Index No.6: Yolanthe Cabau Van Kasbergen

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
She's a Dutch model with a very fancy name that I have cunningly shortened to Yo-Cab. So, say hello to Yo-Cab, Wesley Sneijder's new fancy lady. Click on the photo below to see the gallery:...

Top 10 photos from the Premier League's opening weekend

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Cracking weekend to kick off the Prem. No draws, plenty of wonder goals and a couple of surprise results (Everton ship six at home!? Madness gone mad)....

Let's all laugh at... Carlos Tevez on the bench for Man City

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
From this: "Screw you, old Scotsman. Carlitos have last laugh..."...

FAIL: Manchester City fan's tattoo predicts Champions League win in 2011

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Say hello to Manchester City fan Kirk Bradley. He's 25 years old (hmmm, really? looks more like 35 to me) and he closely resembles a malnourished Fabien Barthez. He's also from Birmingham -Â so Man City's recruitment of plastic fans...

Update: server issues almost resolved

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Thanks a million for your patience. Pies had to switch servers this weekend - great timing, eh! - and finally it looks like we're ready to go again. Almost. Will start up tomorrow with loads of stuff about the Prem's...

Update: server issues almost resolved

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Thanks a million for your patience. Pies had to switch servers this weekend - great timing, eh! - and finally it looks like we're ready to go again. Almost. Will start up tomorrow with loads of stuff about the Prem's...

Photo Gallery: Chelsea beat Man Utd on penalties in Community Shield

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Click on the image below to see the best photos from Wembley's curtain raiser (match analysis to follow):...

Photo Gallery: Manchester City hold open training session at Eastlands

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Look how much fun you can have when you're earning more than �100,000 in a week!! Fun fun fun. Click the photo below to see the gallery of City's open day at Eastlands:...

What is Arsenal's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
This is where you get to pick Arsenal's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'll reveal my selection (based on Arsenal's squad at time of writing). Obviously I'm aware that Arsene Wenger will use several different formations...

Partick Thistle's new camouflage away kit is mental

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
I don't know in what situation a black, grey and pink colour scheme qualifies as camouflage? In the crazy, mixed up world of Scottish football, apparently. Whether or not Puma's new away kit for Partick becomes more popular than...

Video: Everton's new away kit launched with Haka war dance

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
I have no idea what the Haka has to do with Everton, so I have to award a big FAIL to this PR stunt. If you do know the link between a Maori war dance and Le Coq Sportif/Everton,...

Photo Gallery: Alberto Aquilani arrives at Heathrow ahead of move to Liverpool

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
A few hours ago, Alberto Aquilani touched down at Heathrow. Pies was there, camera in hand, to snap the Italian. He giggled like a girl. Too many G&Ts on the flight perhaps?...

Video: Craig Bellamy refuses to sign Rangers fan's shirt

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
"I can't sign Rangers gear, no chance..." EXIT. Ha. As much as Bellamy annoys 99% of football fans, I can understand why he recoils from anything to do with Rangers - that's the way it is with the Old Firm....

Which player knows he won't be in Manchester City's first team this season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Spot the player who's thinking "Hmm, wonder which team I can move to in January?" Give yourself a point if you said Angry Craig Bellamy....

LONG SHOOT! Kazumasa Uesato emulates David Beckham with wonder goal from inside own half

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
LONG SHOOOOOOOOOT! Holy sushi, that is one brilliant finish, just as impressive as David Beckham's famous lob against Wimbledon, or Xabi Alonso's effort against Newcastle Utd. If you're interested, Uesato plays for Consadole Sapporoin the J-League's second tier. His goal...

Barcelona make Seattle Sounders look like amateurs (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
"I knew MLS had some Mickey Mouse clubs, but this is ridiculous." Even without all of their star players and playing away from home, Barcelona were good enough to crush one of MLS's better teams, namely Seattle Sounders FC....

Arsenal should be happy to draw Celtic in Champions League play-off

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
When I found out that Celtic and Arsenal could draw each other in the CL playoffs, I assumed it would happen. And, surprise surprise, it has. This is a pretty good draw for both teams and their supporters. Arsenal...

Darren Bent unveiled at Sunderland, admits Twitter tantrum "did the trick"

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
"Do I wanna go Hull City NO. Do I wanna go stoke NO do I wanna go sunderland YES so stop f****** around levy." Dazza Bent's already infamous Tweet seems to have had a positive effect. The striker did...

The Guardian predicts Liverpool will win the league this season. Jinxed!

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Liverpool fans, superstitious? Yes, judging by the hundreds of comments left on the Guardian's Liverpool FC pre-season profile, in which the newspaper's football writers collectively predicted that Liverpool will win the league this season. A sample of the reaction...

Top 10 links of the day: 7 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
1. Not a link as such, but you might like to know that the Guardian's guide to the new football season is out on Monday 10 August, free inside the paper. Pies has had a sneak preview of the...

Snapshot: Fabian Delph unveiled at Aston Villa

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
After a summer of big sales but no big signings, this is a photo that will brighten every Villa fan's day -�Leeds fans tell me the boy is a bit special. Still, Martin O'Neill mustn't stop there. Villa still...

Photo Gallery: Fulham 3-0 FK Vetra, Europe League

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
After a stroll in the sun in the first leg, this was a stroll in the pissing rain at Craven Cottage. Terrible conditions in London last night but Fulham still looked several classes too good for a plucky Vetra side....

Spot the Baller: 6 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Who in the blazes is this? If you think you know, leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday's answer: Roberto Di Matteo Mike P was first to get it, followed closely by Gary Andrews, DCDJ, Bikram and Tom P....

The top 20 hardest players in the Premier League, 10-1

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
The second part of Pies round-up of Prem hardmen. (Part one here) Click the image below to see the top ten......

Inevitable football news: Geordie gets Sir Bobby Robson tattoo

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Newcastle fan George Wright, 45, has got a big ole' tattoo of Sir Bobby Robson's face inked on his left thigh: What, a minute's silence and a raised pint wasn't enough for you, George? Now it's like Sir Bob is...

Pop quiz: Which Premier League team does A-Ha support?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
"Are you sure this pose doesn't look gay?" Quote of the day comes from A-Ha hearthrob Morten Harket, who revealed in an interview with Sky News that the band supports... drum roll... Stoke City! "When were kids Stoke was...

Spot the Baller: 7 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Another day, another Spot the Baller for you to study. Today Pies presents a ball-headed England international. Know who it is (click image to super-size)? Leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday's answer: Diomansy Kamara First prize to Chet...

Peter Crouch already infected with "Spurs Blindness"

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
"It's going to be difficult to break into the top four, but if anyone has the potential this club does." Peter Crouch, speaking earlier this week about Spurs' chances this season. We've been here before. New player arrives at...

Andrey Arshavin nicknamed "the meerkat" by Arsenal team-mates

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
The Sun tells us that Andrey Arshavin has a new nickname at Arsenal: "Meerkat". If you've seen the incredibly annoying Compare the Meerkat adverts on TV, you'll know why: Meerkat: Arshavin: A bit more imaginative than "Arshy" I suppose,...

Will Alberto Aquilani be a flop at Liverpool?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Alberto Aquilani, who is set to become Liverpool's latest signing (subject to a medical), has played only 73 games in three seasons for current club Roma. His last appearance was on March 11, against Arsenal in the Champions League....

Update: sever issues almost resolved

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Thanks a million for your patience. Pies had to switch servers this weekend - great timing, eh! - and there are still one or two teething problems before I can post properly. Should be resolved by tomorrow morning and we...

"We can win the World Cup," says England captain John Terry

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Oh dear. I thought we'd learned our lesson by now. Fabio, sort this shit out now. Just had to post it. Unbelievable that England players can't get it into their thick skulls to keep quiet about our World Cup chances....

F**kety f**k

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Very sorry about this folks, but I still can't post properly because it looks like someone might have sabotaged our server. Yet another case of Pies being caught in the fall-out from Shiny Media's demise. Can't say too much right...

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that...

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Big server issues today, hence the lack of posts. Can't even post any images right now. Grrr. Very sorry, will be back to full operational capacity soon, I hope......

Photo Gallery: Man City 2-1 Celtic, friendly

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
The best photos from City's win against Celtic at Eastlands (watch the goals - all three were rather good - here). Click the image below to launch the gallery:...

Another expert tips Liverpool to win the Premier League title this season

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Terrible moustache, Ian. Not-terrible defending, Alan Hot on the heels of the news that the Guardian "jinxed" Liverpool's tilt at a 19th league title, Sky Sports pundit Jeff Stelling has added to the weight of the hex: "Manchester United...

Spot the Baller: 10 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Think you know who the Real Madrid star is? Leave a comment with your shout. Friday's answer: Kieron Dyer Fair play to AlanS, thedoc, Kipp, Delboy and Kevin. You're my guys....

What is Barcelona's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
This is where you get to pick Barca's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'll reveal my selection (based on Barcelona's squad at time of writing). No doubt Pep Guardiola will use several different formations this season...

Barbie table football looks like fun

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
[Photos: © designboom] Today's footballers are a bunch of vain girls, so this makes perfect sense. Can't wait for the WAGs special edition; Cheryl Cole plays up front, of course. As seen at the recent International Design Festival Berlin....

Sh*t Lookalikes: Bryan Gunn and Ade Edmondson

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
What do Gunn and Edmonson have in common, apart from their looks? Hmm, I'm getting the word "Bottom"... ... Boom boom. Got a lookalike for Pies? Email me with your shout(s)....

Six Premier League midfielders you should consider for your fantasy football team*

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 17 views
It's no secret that the great majority of fantasy teams will feature either Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard (or both, if you base your team around them) in midfield. And quite right too - they score goals, they make goals,...

Cristiano Ronaldo can't fill his elephant thong, says ex-WAG Nereida Gallardo

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Quote of the day goes to Nereida Gallardo, one of C-Ron's most skanky famous ex-WAGs. Here she is talking about Ron's favourite underwear, a red, elephant-trunk thong: "He puts his willy where the elephant's face is. But he doesn't...

Norwegian football is unfair (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Taken from this weekend's Norwegian Cup quarter final between Odd Grenland and SK Brann: Brann keeper Hakon Opdal crocks himself as he is going to kick out the ball, then Odd striker Peter Kovacs taps the ball in the net,...

Video: Dimitar Berbatov vs Andy Garcia

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
Our good fwends at Dirty Tackle have already spotted the comic potential of Dimitar "The Continental" Berbatov - so good - I wish I'd thought of it -Â and now talkSPORT (ridiculous use of caps, fellas) has joined in with this...

Celtic's new away kit = high on visibility, low on style

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
A couple of pics from Celtic's friendly at Man City: Holy high-visibility jackets, Batman! That is one standout kit. There's no danger of Celtic manager Tony Mowbray trotting out Fergie's old "the players couldn't see each other" excuse. Turning to...

Snapshot: Norwich City fan throws season ticket at Bryan Gunn after 7-1 home defeat

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Norwich City lost 7-1 at home to Colchester in their opening fixture in League One. It was the heaviest home defeat in the club's 107-year history. After Colchester had gone 4-0 up, a couple of disgusted Norwich fans ran...

Tottenham spank Olympiakos 3-0 in friendly, Pavlyuchenko hits target (for once), Bassong shines on debut

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Solid win for Spurs, even if all three goals came in the last half hour. Highlights below: Lovely finish by Pavlyuchenko (most unlike him: he usually shins it over the bar), followed up by a Corluka tap-in and a composed...

Pies Survey: Which Premier League manager will lose his job first this season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Pick me, pick me! Pies would LOVE IT if you spared 60 seconds out of your busy day to vote on which Premier League manager will lose his job first this season. If you do, you'll automatically be entered...

Which Chelsea player winds you up the most?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Ah, it feels good to have panto villains like The Drog, Herr Ballack, Mr Chelsea and Cashley back on the radar. Ballack has already wound up every single Man Utd fan with his blatant bodycheck (or "elbow", if you...

Photo Gallery: Chelsea beat Man Utd on penalties in Community Shield

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Click on the image below to see the best photos from Wembley's curtain raiser (match analysis to follow):...

Video: Chelsea beat Man Utd on penalties in Community Shield

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Highlights of Chelsea's morale-boosting win at Wembley, including: Nani's excellent solo goal, Michael Ballack's "elbow" on Patrice Evra (from which Chelsea scored their second goal, much to Fergie and his players' chagrin) and United's abject batch of penalties: Decent game,...

Top 10 links of the day: 7 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
1. Not a link as such, but you might like to know that the Guardian's guide to the new football season is out on Monday 10 August, free inside the paper. Pies has had a sneak preview of the...

What is Arsenal's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
This is where you get to pick Arsenal's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'll reveal my selection (based on Arsenal's squad at time of writing). Obviously I'm aware that Arsene Wenger will use several different formations...

Spot the Baller: 7 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Another day, another Spot the Baller for you to study. Today Pies presents a ball-headed England international. Know who it is? Leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday's answer: Diomansy Kamara First prize to Chet but quite a few...

Photo Gallery: Fulham 3-0 FK Vetra, Europe League

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
After a stroll in the sun in the first leg, this was a stroll in the pissing rain at Craven Cottage. Terrible conditions in London last night but Fulham still looked several classes too good for a plucky Vetra side....

Video: Everton's new away kit launched with Haka war dance

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
I have no idea what the Haka has to do with Everton, so I have to award a big FAIL to this PR stunt. If you do know the link between a Maori war dance and Le Coq Sportif/Everton,...

Andrey Arshavin nicknamed "the meerkat" by Arsenal team-mates

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 14 views
The Sun tells us that Andrey Arshavin has a new nickname at Arsenal: "Meerkat". If you've seen the incredibly annoying Compare the Meerkat adverts on TV, you'll know why: Meerkat: Arshavin: A bit more imaginative than "Arshy" I suppose,...

Video: Craig Bellamy refuses to sign Rangers fan's shirt

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
"I can't sign Rangers gear, no chance..." EXIT. Ha. As much as Bellamy annoys 99% of football fans, I can understand why he recoils from anything to do with Rangers - that's the way it is with the Old Firm....

Arsenal should be happy to draw Celtic in Champions League play-off

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
When I found out that Celtic and Arsenal could draw each other in the CL playoffs, I assumed it would happen. And, surprise surprise, it has. This is a pretty good draw for both teams and their supporters. Arsenal...

The top 20 hardest players in the Premier League, 10-1

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
The second part of Pies round-up of Prem hardmen. (Part one here) Click the image below to see the top ten......

LONG SHOOT! Kazumasa Uesato emulates David Beckham with wonder goal from inside own half

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 4 views
LONG SHOOOOOOOOOT! Holy sushi, that is one brilliant finish, just as impressive as David Beckham's famous lob against Wimbledon, or Xabi Alonso's effort against Newcastle Utd. If you're interested, Uesato plays for Consadole Sapporoin the J-League's second tier. His goal...

Photo Gallery: Manchester City hold open training session at Eastlands

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Look how much fun you can have when you're earning more than £100,000 in a week!! Fun fun fun. Click the photo below to see the gallery of City's open day at Eastlands:...

Peter Crouch already infected with "Spurs Blindness"

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
"It's going to be difficult to break into the top four, but if anyone has the potential this club does." Peter Crouch, speaking earlier this week about Spurs' chances this season. We've been here before. New player arrives at...

Partick Thistle's new camouflage away kit is mental

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
I don't know in what situation a black, grey and pink colour scheme qualifies as camouflage? In the crazy, mixed up world of Scottish football, apparently. Whether or not Puma's new away kit for Partick becomes more popular than...

Photo Gallery: Alberto Aquilani arrives at Heathrow ahead of move to Liverpool

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 6 views
A few hours ago, Alberto Aquilani touched down at Heathrow. Pies was there, camera in hand, to snap the Italian. He giggled like a girl. Too many G&Ts on the flight perhaps?...

Barcelona make Seattle Sounders look like amateurs (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
"I knew MLS had some Mickey Mouse clubs, but this is ridiculous." Even without all of their star players and playing away from home, Barcelona were good enough to crush one of MLS's better teams, namely Seattle Sounders FC....

Craig Bellamy knows he won't be in Manchester City's first team this season

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Spot the player who's thinking "Hmm, wonder which team I can move to in January?" Give yourself a point if you said Craig Bellamy....

Which player knows he won't be in Manchester City's first team this season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 5 views
Spot the player who's thinking "Hmm, wonder which team I can move to in January?" Give yourself a point if you said Angry Craig Bellamy....

Snapshot: Fabian Delph unveiled at Aston Villa

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
After a summer of big sales but no big signings, this is a photo that will brighten every Villa fan's day -Â Leeds fans tell me the boy is a bit special. Still, Martin O'Neill mustn't stop there. Villa still...

The Guardian predicts Liverpool will win the league this season. Jinxed!

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Liverpool fans, superstitious? Yes, judging by the hundreds of comments left on the Guardian's Liverpool FC pre-season profile, in which the newspaper's football writers collectively predicted that Liverpool will win the league this season. A sample of the reaction...

Darren Bent unveiled at Sunderland, admits Twitter tantrum "did the trick"

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
"Do I wanna go Hull City NO. Do I wanna go stoke NO do I wanna go sunderland YES so stop f****** around levy." Dazza Bent's already infamous Tweet seems to have had a positive effect. The striker did...

Inevitable football news: Geordie gets Sir Bobby Robson tattoo

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Newcastle fan George Wright, 45, has got a big ole' tattoo of Sir Bobby Robson's face inked on his left thigh: What, a minute's silence and a raised pint wasn't enough for you, George? Now it's like Sir Bob is...

Spot the Baller: 6 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Who in the blazes is this? If you think you know, leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday's answer: Roberto Di Matteo Mike P was first to get it, followed closely by Gary Andrews, DCDJ, Bikram and Tom P....

Will Alberto Aquilani be a flop at Liverpool?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Alberto Aquilani, who is set to become Liverpool's latest signing (subject to a medical), has played only 73 games in three seasons for current club Roma. His last appearance was on March 11, against Arsenal in the Champions League....

Pop quiz: Which Premier League team does A-Ha support?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
"Are you sure this pose doesn't look gay?" Quote of the day comes from A-Ha hearthrob Morten Harket, who revealed in an interview with Sky News that the band supports... drum roll... Stoke City! "When were kids Stoke was...

Photo Gallery: Man Utd 2-0 Valencia

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Little Mickey Owen missed several good chances to score on his Man Utd home debut, in last night's friendly against Valencia. And in front of Fabio Capello too. At least Owen has Fergie in his corrner now: "He could have...

Video: Dynamo Moscow 0-2 Celtic, Champions League qualifier

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
After the first leg of this CL qualifier, I thought Celtic were out. I was wrong and I'm happy to say that -Â Tony Mowbray deserves this result, which was Celtic's first away win in the CL since 2003. Goals...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Angry Craig Bellamy v Angry Roy Keane

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
The photo on the right was taken just last night, during Man City's "friendly" at Rangers (City lost 3-2, btw). Bellamy, a former Celtic player, got a frightful amount of stick from the crowd, and he reacted by doing...

Jozy Altidore to join Hull City (on one-year loan deal?)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
This just in from Jozy's Twitter feed: So much for being discreet. Hull City's first Premier League match this season is at Chelsea on 15 August. Therefore I conclude that Altidore is about to announce a move to the Tigers....

The top 20 hardest players in the Premier League, 20-11

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
People often bemoan the lack of genuine hardmen in football today, but to be fair to modern players, every time they play there are 25 cameras following their every move. Plus football has become, if not a non-contact sport, then...

Video, Sparta Rotterdam v FC Twente: Who needs a corner flag anyway?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
As if the poor old corner flag doesn't already take enough punishment (from the likes of Tim Cahill), now some Dutch player comes along and uproots it. Ja, screw de cornervlag! Good to see that Schteve McClaren saw the funny...

Why is Jozy Altidore in England?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
Jozy Altidore is in England. How do we know? He's said as much on his Twitter profile: What does this mean? Putting 2+2 together, it obviously means that he's in England because he's set for a move from Villarreal...

Video: Xabi Alonso passes Real Madrid medical, looks nervous

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
An anxious-looking Xabi Alonso gives the thumbs-up, reluctantly, during the traditional "medical ritual" that Real Madrid puts its new players through. It's like a sort of hazing. Perhaps Xabi was worried that the doctor would discover his ginger pubes?...

Top 10 links of the day: 5 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
1. Barcelona to make £12m bid for Jonny Evans? Nah, can't see it. [@ Football Corner] 2. Who Ate All the Pies ranks second in the bloggers' league! Does that mean we qualify for the bloggers' Champions League? [@...

Spot the Baller: 5 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
So who's the Chelsea player with the ball for a head? (Click image to enlarge) Leave a comment with your answer. Monday's answer: Steve Stone David Allison not only knew that it was Steve Stone, but even named the...

Video: Clint Dempsey profile on Futbol Mundial

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Nice profile piece on Deuce. I love this guy's laidback drawl... MORE DEUCE Top 10 footballers who rap...

Football love stories: Dion Dublin and Lee Hendrie

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
I was trawling through Press Association's photo archive and came across these amazing pics of a couple of young footballers who were clearly very much in love... Heart-meltingly beautiful. MORE FOOTBALL LOVE STORIES John Terry and Frank Lampard: a football...

David Beckham is afraid of Shaquille O'Neal

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Shaq has been calling out Becks on Twitter. On July 29, the LA Lakers star Tweeted: "Its official, today is david beckham is scared of shaq, day, he should b scared, he can never score a goal on me,"...

What is Tottenham's best starting XI for the 09/10 season?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
This is where you get to pick Tottenham's best starting line-up for this season. First up, I'l dazzle you (ahem) with my selection (based on Spurs' squad at time of writing)... My XI, played in a fairly standard 4-4-2...

Danny Dyer gets smacked in the mouth (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
In which professional geezer/West Ham fan/shit actor/twat Danny Dyer takes one in the "north and sarf" (mouth): "That's a powerful tool, that..." You are, Danny. You are. Most enjoyable....

How much is Rafa Benitez to blame for the departure of Xabi Alonso?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
The beginning of the end for Xabi Alonso at Liverpool occurred a couple of seasons ago, when Xabi Alonso decided - quite rightly, in my view - to miss a Champions League match to attend the birth of his...

Video: Xabi Alonso admits Liverpool are "not a skillful team"

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Yes, lots of Xabi posts today, but like so many fans, Pies always had a bit of a man crush on him... The reasons to miss Xabi keep on coming... In this vid he comes across as, well, just a...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Fabian Delph and Dion Dublin

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Proof that Aston Villa's new signing looks suspiciously like one of Villa's former players. As spotted by... me. Go me. Got a lookalike for the Pies? Email me with your shout....

Xabi Alonso: a Liverpool FC career in photos

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Liverpool fans, I feel your pain. To mark the sad passing of Senor Xabi (more on which later today), Pies offers up a gallery of some of his finest moments in a Liverpool shirt. Click the image below to see...

Joleon Lescott wants to leave Everton. Disappointing but inevitable

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Joleon Lescott wants to leave Everton. Their new home kit has been cited as a key factor Seriously though, can you really blame Lescott for being tempted by a contract that is at least twice as fat as the...

Spot the Baller: 'The Beckham Experiment' competition result

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Congratulations to Richard Wilkinson of Waterlooville, who wins a hardback copy of Grant Wahl's "The Beckham Experiment". Richard was the only Pies reader to correctly identify all three Man Utd players: 1. Paul Scholes 2. Teddy Sheringham 3. Clayton Blackmore...

Paul Whitehouse makes a convincing Plymouth Argyle fan

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
That is one impressive Plymothian accent by Mr Whitehouse. And I should know - I grew up in Plymouth. (It's a bit of a shithole, tbh - very high proportion of chavs.) What's a Janner, you ask? I refer...

Mark Hughes doesn't want Carlos Tevez to play in international friendly. Sound familiar?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
"And this is where I keep my gold-plated pen, for signing new players. It doesn't write in ink, it uses oil." Mark Hughes has asked Diego Maradona to omit Carlos Tevez from Argentina's squad to play Russia in next...

Mark Hughes doesn't want Carlos Tevez to play for Argentina in friendly. Sound familiar?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
"And this is where I keep my gold-plated pen, for signing new players. It doesn't write in ink, it uses oil." Mark Hughes has asked Diego Maradona to omit Carlos Tevez from Argentina's squad to play Russia in next...

Six Premier League defenders you should consider for your fantasy football team

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 3 views
In order of preference: Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd) Man Utd may struggle to replace C-Ron's goals but they should still be very mean at the back, thanks to the tried and trusted Vidic/Ferdinand axis. Vidic is the most expensive defender...

Javier Mascherano v Xabi Alonso: who would Liverpool miss more?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Worst-case scenario: Liverpool lose both Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano this summer. Best-case scenario: Alonso and Maschy stay, obviously. But, Liverpool fans, if you could lose just one of the pair (and I know that it's more likely to...

The Football WAG Index No.5: Elisabetta Canalis

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Canalis has been linked with Christian Vieri (who has seemingly shagged countless Italian glamour models), Didier Drogba and Siena's Brazilian forward Reginaldo. But she's currently dating George Clooney, who doesn't play football for a living. Hmm, his name rings a...

Who would Liverpool miss more: Javier Mascherano or Xabi Alonso?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Worst-case scenario: Liverpool lose both Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano this summer. Best-case scenario: Alonso and Maschy stay, obviously. But, Liverpool fans, if you could lose just one of the pair (and I know that it's more likely to...

Sh*t Lookalikes: Wayne Rooney and Devon Murray

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
A pair of chav-faced peas in a pod. (Murray is a young Irish actor, best-known for his role as Seamus Finnigan in the Harry Potter movies.) Cheers to Raz for the suggestion. Good work fella. Got a lookalike for...

Top 20 Bobby Robson quotes

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Sir Bobby had a magical way with words, even if sometimes he struggled to get them in the right order... 1. "We can't replace Gary Speed. Where do you get an experienced player like him with a left foot and...

Horror Hair: Louis Saha is now a ginger

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 9 views
Did Louis lose a pre-season bet? Or did he mean to dye his hair blonde and get the wrong colour? Or perhaps he's trying to look like even more of a dick in a box than team-mate Marouane Fellaini?...

Top 10 links of the day: 3 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
1. Why the Hillsborough disaster still matters. [@ Dan Loney Says It All] 2. Carlo Ancelotti is inspired by cheese. [@ At the Far Post] 3. C-Ron ignores crazy stalker ex-WAG. [@ Kickette]...

Head to Head: Man City's new black away kit v Man Utd's new black away kit

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 9 views
City's new away kit: ... versus United's new away kit: Gotta say this is a comprehensive victory for City's new away kit. Very classy, especially the grandad collar. United's, however, looks exactly like what it is: an unimaginative Nike template....

Sh*t Lookalikes: Stephen Hunt and Frodo Baggins

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Thanks to David Franzén for this one. Lovely stuff. Got a lookalike for Pies? Please do email me with your suggestion(s)....

Spot the Baller: 3 August, 2009

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Think you know who this is? (Click image to enlarge) Leave a comment with your shout... Fridays answer: Jamie Redknapp Congrats to Sheldon, who was the first to identify the baller correctly as old Spice Boy Jamie Redknapp. Props...

Liverpool let Alvaro Arbeloa go too cheaply

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Alvaro Arbeloa has moved to Real Madrid for around £3.5m. Few Liverpool supporters will mourn his departure - he was not the type of player who excited fans - but you have to say, Real have got an absolute bargain...

Philippe Senderos has signed for Everton. Does this mean Joleon Lescott is off to Man City?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Worst-kept secret in football? Philippe Senderos has signed for Everton. Or so every Arsenal blog seems to think. And it's no secret that Arsene Wenger invited offers for the out-of-favour defender. Percentage chance that this is true? I'd say...

Do Man City look like a top-four team now?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
On paper, no one can argue that Man City now have a strong squad, and one that could be strengthened further before the summer transfer window slams shut. Witness: Shay Given Micah Richards, Kolo Touré, Richard Dunne, Wayne Bridge...

Snapshot: Emmanuel Adabyor's kung-fu kick

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Emmanuel Adebayor attempts a spectacular finish during Man City's pre-season friendly at Barnsley. The game ended 1-1. Here's a fan's eye view of Martin Petrov's late equaliser:...

Is Jack Wilshere ready for Arsenal's first team?

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
By all accounts, 17-year-old Jack Wilshere was a revelation for Arsenal in the Emirates Cup this weekend. So much so that many Gooners are now calling for the teenager to be fast-tracked into not only Arsenal's first team, but...

Six Premier League goalkeepers you should consider for your fantasy football team

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 11 views
In order of preference: Tim Howard (Everton) On current form, you could make a case to argue that T-Ho is the best keeper in the world. He's definitely in the top five and although he's not cheap, he does cost...

When You Were Young: Gary Lineker kicks off career at Leicester City

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
Lineker joined his home-town team, Leicester City, when he left school in 1977, aged 16. He went on to make almost 200 appearances for the Midlands club, scoring goals at a rate of almost one every two games. Mr Walkers...

American soccerball can be dangerous to your face (with video evidence)

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 0 views
BOOF. And again, just because once isn't enough... BOOF. BOOF. BOOF!...

David Beckham scores brilliant free-kick, ends up on losing side

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
David Beckham is still being booed by some Galaxy fans but he went some way to winning back their hearts by scoring a terrific free-kick in a friendly against Barcelona at the weekend. The goal wasn't enough to prevent...

Video: Cristiano Ronaldo scythed down by horror tackle

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 2 views
Real Madrid have insured C-Ron's tanned legs for €100m. And if this is the sort of treatment he gets in a pre-season friendly, you have to say it's a very wise move indeed. The perpetrator of this horror tackle...

Cristiano Ronaldo scythed down by horror tackle

Who Ate All the Pies at related • 1 view
Real Madrid have insured C-Ron's tanned legs for €100m. And if this is the sort of treatment he gets in a pre-season friendly, you have to say it's a very wise move indeed. The perpetrator of this horror tackle...