Who Ate All the Pies Archives for January 2008

Pub talk - Which club has the best chance of breaking the Premier League 'Big Four'?

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The so-called Premier League's 'big four' clubs of Man United, Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool have shared the Champions League spots for what feels like an eternity.

Oranje Wednesday - PSV Eindhoven open up five-point gap over Ajax

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PSV extended their Eredivise lead to five points with a 2-1 victory over bottom-club Excelsior. Rivals Ajax only managed a 2-2 draw with Vitesse Arnhem. New boy Balazs Dzsudzsak opened the scoring for PSV and Geert den Ouden confirmed the win in the 81st minute. The real activity was at the bottom of the table though.

Spurs sign Alan Hutton (at last) and sell Kevin-Prince Boateng to Aston Villa

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Tottenham have finally captured Alan Hutton (left) from Rangers, for a fee believed to be around £9m. That's a lot of cash for a young defender, but if Hutton can offer Spurs the same level of reliability as great Premier...

Snapshot - Borussia Dortmund 2-1 Werder Bremen, DFB Cup, Germany

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Aaron Hunt of Bremen goes flying during the DFB Cup match between Borussia Dortmund and Werder Bremen at the Signual Iduna Park on 29 January. Bremen, going well in the Bundesliga, lost 2-1. Italian midfielder Giovanni Federico and Spanish...

Funny old game - Sheffield Wednesday's mascot owls

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Cheeky owls....

The XI - Footballers who could be cars

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Pies gives you the lowdown on XI players with a good engine.

Emmanuel Eboue - the man who holds Arsenal together

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This spoof movie trailer shows Emmanuel Eboue performing his diplomatic duties from afar.

Classic Moment - Celtic's Johnny Doyle knocks the ref out

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This hilarious video shows Celtic's Johnny Doyle whipping in a cross against former club Ayr United, but finding the referee's head with pinpoint accuracy. The ref is knocked out cold and is out for a bit of revenge when he comes round. Doyle becomes - as far as we know - the first player to be sent-off for knocking the referee out with a cross.

Vote of the day - Should David Beckham win his 100th England cap?

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Old Goldenballs is still sweating over his inclusion in Fabio Capello's inaugural England squad, which could earn him the 100th England cap he's been chasing. Most people thought it would be a foregone conclusion that Beck's former manager would give him an international swan song out of respect - but that's not how Fabio rolls.

Can Cristiano Ronaldo score 30 Premier League goals this season?

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Fergie was forced to pay out on a friendly bet when Ronaldo broke the goal target set for him last season so the United manager has upped the anti by promising to raise the Portugeezer's not inconsiderable wages if he can score 30 league goals this year.

Teutonic Tuesday - Bayern Munich's winter break spoilt us, ambassador

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The big news in German football this week is that Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni has been named Sport Fashion Ambassador for Italy by the Italian Sporting Goods Manufacturers Association. In between ambassadorial duties, such as providing Ferrero Rocher to his team-mates, Toni found the net in a 1-1 friendly draw with Bayern's city rivals and Allianz Arena co-tenants 1860 Munich.

Pub talk - Are Newcastle Wise to bring in a director of football?

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Now that Newcastle have gone down the continental route and made the surprise decision of appointing Dennis Wise in a Director of Football role will they bring the club more success?

Cristiano Ronaldo races the world's fastest road car...and wins!

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Love him or hate him, there's no doubt that United's fleet-footed winger, Cristiano Ronaldo, is quicker than a greyhound on steroids. Here in another of Nike's 'we doubt that really happened' viral ads he takes on the world's fastest road car, the Bugatti Veyron, and somehow manages to pip it at the post.

King Kevin Keegan is well and truly back

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Kevin Keegan has provided some of football's greatest quotes over the years with his own unique brand of gibberish. He has announced his return to management not with three points (yet), but with a fresh installment of undecipherable waffle.

Forgotten wonder goals - Michele di Piedi's overhead kick for Sheffield Wednesday

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Michele di Piedi's career never really took off, but he will always be remembered fondly by Sheffield Wednesday fans for this effort. You can just ignore Efan Ekoku. Instead focus on the spectacular goal from the young Italian, which continues our current overhead kick theme.

Saudi TV presenter baffles Manchester United

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We think he is a TV presenter anyway - from his line of questioning you could be forgiven for thinking he was from the customer services department of an airline. The video shows Ryan Giggs, Cristiano Ronaldo and Sir Alex Ferguson trying to answer questions as politely and diplomatically as possible while trying to work out what on earth the interviewer is talking about!

Snapshot - A-League semi final, Newcastle Jets 2-0 Central Coast Mariners

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John Aloisi of the Mariners (left) competes with Jade North of the Jets during the A-League semi final first leg match between the Newcastle Jets and the Central Coast Mariners. Newcastle won the match 2-0, thanks to goals from...

Arsenal's top 5 goals vs Man Utd

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Well, there's no doubt which is the plum tie in the draw for the FA Cup fifth round - Arsenal's trip to Old Trafford to play Man Utd. To my mind, that fixture just increases the chances that Arsenal will...

The Daily Vote - does Joey Barton deserve a career in football?

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Joey Barton is free to play for Newcastle after his bail conditions were changed. Barton was charged with assault and affray last month, and ordered by a judge to live in Hampshire and return home every day by 7.30pm. However,...

The XI - Footballers who have been the victims of crime

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With the news that Manchester City players were the victims of a dressing room theft during their FA Cup defeat to Sheffield United, Pies looks at XI other footballers who have been the victims of crime.

La Liga Lunes - Real Madrid beat Villareal 3-2, extend lead to nine points (title in the bag?)

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Real Madrid closed in on a second successive La Liga title as nearest rivals Barcelona dropped points. The Catalan giants drew 1-1 at Athletic Bilbao, which meant Real's 3-2 win over Villarreal was enough to extend their lead at the top of the table to nine points. The champions twice took the lead through Robinho, but both times Villarreal fought back.

Arsenal and Spurs are much better off without Jonathan Woodgate

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Jonathan Woodgate looked all set to move from 'Boro to Spurs, but it seems Arsenal may have gazumped their north-London rivals at the eleventh hour. The Guardian reports that the Gunners 'have also agreed a fee with Middlesbrough for the...

Heroes & Villains - FA Cup fourth round weekend 25-26 Jan

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HEROES Richard Pacquette The Havant & Waterlooville striker became the first school caretaker to open the scoring at Anfield for a while.

Havant & Waterlooville score, Matt Le Tissier goes mad, Phil Thompson goes mute and Jeff Stelling goes misty-eyed

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This fantastic video shows the reaction on Sky Sports' Soccer Saturday to Havant & Waterlooville's goals against Liverpool. Legendary Jeff Stelling begins a countdown to their victory, Matt Le Tissier gets all over-excited and the whole team take great pleasure in ribbing Liverpool old boy Phil Thompson.

News Balls - Derby County's American owners, Rolando Bianchi's Lazio debut, David Beckham's 100th cap and more football-shaped breakfast bites

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This morning's top five football stories, condensed into one juicy post... 1. Derby County have new owners - the American-based General Sports and Entertainment group (fact of the day: their chairman, Andy Appleby, comes from a real-life Springfield). Rams' fans...

Africa Cup of Nations round-up - Senegal 1-3 Angola, Tunisia 3-1 South Africa, Cameroon 5-1 Zambia, Egypt 3-0 Sudan (with video highlights)

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More goals galore from the weekend's fixtures in the Africa Cup of Nations. Here's a quick recap of the four matches that took place on Saturday and Sunday, plus video highlights. Senegal 1-3 Angola A brace of goals in the...

Snapshot - A-League semi finals, Sydney FC 0-0 Queensland Roar

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Sas Ognenovski and Griffin McMaster collide during the A-League Minor semi final between Sydney FC and Queensland Roar at the Sydney Football Stadium on 25 January, 2008. McMaster had a fine game in goal for Queensland; despite that, Sydney...

La Liga Lunes - Real Madrid extend lead to nine points, title in the bag

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Real Madrid closed in on a second successive La Liga title as nearest rivals Barcelona dropped points. The Catalan giants drew 1-1 at Athletic Bilbao, which meant Real's 3-2 win over Villarreal was enough to extend their lead at the top of the table to nine points. The champions twice took the lead through Robinho, but both times Villarreal fought back.

The Daily Vote - Should Cheryl dump Ashley Cole?

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According to today's Mirror newspaper, 'Cheryl Cole yesterday came under mounting pressure from family and friends to dump her wayward husband Ashley Cole.' Mounting pressure, eh? The worst kind of pressure. Cheryl has 'cautiously agreed' to stand by her man...

Football videos - Top 20 comedy moments, Vol.1

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Well worth giving up six minutes of your day for, especially if you're having a shit Friday and want a good laugh... (good choice of music too) Hmm, given that he's suposedly one of the best strikers of a dead...

Shit Lookalikes deathmatch - Brian 'Killer' Kilcline, Wolf from American Gladiators and Sabretooth from X-Men

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Kilcline, 'Wolf' (as played by Don 'Hollywood' Yates, a man so macho he makes Chuck Norris look like a little girl) and Sabretooth are men's men (or, in Sabretooth's case, a mutant's mutant), and therefore not afraid of big,...

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

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1. Career path Seven Stars, Ajax Cape Town, Ajax, Celta Vigo, Porto, Blackburn Rovers (current)? 2. True or false? David Beckham once played for Preston North End? 3. Picture round Who's with his WAG? 4. Team-mates Karel Poborsky, Stefan Schwarz,...

The XI - Get a proper job

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Pies puts together a team of players who sound like they could be implementing their income with a spot of moonlighting.

The Daily Vote - should the FA have punished Emmanuel Adebayor for his headbutt on team-mate Nicklas Bendtner?

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Wow, who is Emmanuel Adebayor sleeping with at the FA? The Togolese striker faced a retrospective red card and a three-match ban for violent conduct after causing a cut across team-mate Nicklas Bendtner's nose during the Carling Cup defeat at...

French Football Friday - Lyon lose... but they are back to winning again now

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Table-topping Lyon suffered a shock 3-0 defeat at Lens on Sunday, but it was all smiles again by Wednesday when they beat Lorient 2-0. Struggling Lens followed up Sunday's win with victory over Valenciennes. Nancy picked up only a point from their two games following a 1-0 defeat at Nice and a 1-1 draw with Marseille.

Forgotten wonder goals - Muzzy Izzet's overhead kick for Leicester City vs Grimsby Town

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On the subject of wonderful overhead kicks, here's an absolute beauty by Mustapha Izzet. Remember him? For the record, Izzet retired in June 2006 at the relatively early age of 31, having spent a couple of seasons on Birmingham...

Cristiano Ronaldo wore sunglasses during sex, says unreliable source

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Most entertaining (i.e. bullshit) rumour I've read today? How about this - Cristiano Ronaldo met a promotions girl at the Trafford Centre in Manchester. He then wined & dined her, before taking her to a (pre-booked) hotel for some 'sexy...

Kevin Keegan 'Love It' flag from Newcastle United club shop

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Newcastle United have wasted no time in racing a range of Kevin Keegan into the club shop, including this harmless looking flag. Dig a little deeper though, Pies fans. This is a success-starved club which has sacked a string of managers for failing to win silverware having a joke at the expense at the man they have just appointed to end their trophyless spell.

Mexican side Chivas field 71-year-old striker Chava Reyes

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Shouts of 'my grandad could do better than you' from the crowd might seem a little far-fetched in most instances, but not in Mexico. The accusations could be levelled quite fairly at Chivas' 71-year-old striker Chava Reyes. The club's all-time leading scorer was rolled out of retirement and drafted into the starting line-up of their match against Pumas.

Snapshot - George Burley unveiled as new Scotland manager

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George Burley attends a press conference at Hampden Park on 24 January, 2008. This week, Burley was confirmed as new head coach of the Scottish national team. Photo Roddy Scott/Getty Images...

News Balls - starring 'love cheat' Ashley Cole, Javier Mascherano, Jon Woodgate and Pascal Chimbonda

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This morning's top five football stories: 1. Ashley Cole is a 'love cheat'! He did the dirty on Cheryl Tweedy, by having a 'wild sex romp' (guess which paper this is in...) with a blonde mum-of-one. Cashley 'SLAPPED her bottom...

The Thursday Column - how the Carling Cup got its mojo back

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By Ollie Irish, Pies Ed. For all its Mickey Mouse reputation, the Carling Cup (aka League Cup, for old-school football fans) has enjoyed one of the finest weeks in its history - its stock has never been so high. Fans,...

Gerd Muller, the ultimate goal machine

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Gerd Müller is arguably the most underrated player in football history. You hear all the time about Cruyff, Pele, Maradona, Best, Van Basten etc. but for some reason The Bomber never gets a look-in. Perhaps that's because he's German, or...

Africa Cup of Nations - Tunisia 2-2 Senegal, Angola 1-1 South Africa

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A relatively quiet day in Ghana yesterday, at least compared with some of the exciting games earlier in the tournament. In Group D, one of the hardest groups to call, each of the four teams picked up a point after...

The great pub debate - who is Arsenal's hardest player?

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In the wake of 'Arsenal Fight Club' (aka the silly bust-up between Nicklas Bendtner and Manu Adebayor), I thought it would be interesting to ask, who do you think is Arsenal's hardest player? Adebayor and Bendtner are both big, strong...

Forgotten wonder goals - Mauro Bressan scores the best overhead kick of all time

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Bressan scored this peach for Fiorentina against Barcelona in the Champions League back in 1999. The scrappy play preceding the goal makes it even more of a bolt from the blue. One second the ball is bobbling around and the next Bressan has thrown himself at it and bagged a 25-yard scissor kick in the process.

The Snapshot - Everton 0-1 Chelsea, Joe Cole's goal secures a trip to Wembley

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Joe Cole scores the only goal of the Carling Cup semi Final, second-leg match between Everton and Chelsea at Goodison Park. Everton have not beaten Chelsea since November 2000, a hoodoo of Arsenal vs Spurs proportions. Incidentally, Petr Cech...

Shit Lookalikes - Sulley Muntari and a puffer fish

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Typically loony lookalike goodness from Chringle. More shit lookalikes (although some of them are quite good)...

When football club lottery competitions get smelly

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We know life can be tough at grassroots level, but one Spanish club has come up with a crazy scheme to make some cash and probably improve its grass at the same time! Amateur outfit Amoeiro have launched a new club lottery which presents fans with a unique way to help their club and win prizes.

Emmanuel Adebayor under investigation for allegedly headbutting Nicklas Bendtner... but what about Jens Lehmann?

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Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor is the subject of an FA probe after allegedly headbutting team-mate Nicklas Bendtner during the Gunners 5-1 Carling Cup defeat to Tottenham on Tuesday night. Surprisingly Arsene Wenger - renowned for his astute observations of his players misdemeanors - said: "I did not know anything about it.

The Daily Balls

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This morning's five hottest football stories, rumours and lies: 1. Middlesbrough are happy to sell injury-prone Jonathan Woodgate to Newcastle Utd or Spurs. 'Boro will want to recoup the £7m they paid to Real Madrid though. Independent 2. Arsene Wenger...

Gazzetta all di Pies - Are Juventus out of the Serie A title race after 0-0 draw with Sampdoria? (Yes)

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Juventus appear to have dropped out of the Serie A title race after a 0-0 draw at home to Sampdoria. The Turin side are now nine points behind leaders Inter Milan, who have a game in hand.

The Daily Vote - does Avram Grant deserve more respect?

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The facts: Avram Grant has stormed to 21 wins in his first 28 games in charge of Chelsea. Grant has been without the services of injured captain John Terry. Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba have missed plenty of games too....

Forgotten wonder goals - Alan Shearer's bullet for Newcastle vs Everton

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Has a ball ever been struck more sweetly? Perhaps not. Big Al's greatest goal in a black-and-white shirt (and there are a few to choose from). More wonder goals...

Funny old game - The 'No Scum' anti-Spurs song

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Perhaps this will raise a smile on every Gooner who is suffering today......

Shit Lookalikes - Arsenal's old club crest and Arsenal's new, improved club crest

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Spot the difference... More Shit Lookalikes...

Babe with a ball - the World Cup of hot girls

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There is a ball in there somewhere. It may not be the first thing you look at, but it's there, trust me. More babes with balls...

Uefa's Euro 2008 hot air balloon makes its maiden voyage

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As advertising techniques go there are more effective ones (and ones less likely to cause a spate of road accidents for that matter), but nonetheless Uefa are promoting the forthcoming European Championships with... wait for it... a hot air balloon in the shape of the trophy. The official Euro 2008 hot air balloon completed its test flight earlier this week and will commence a tour of Austria and Switzerland on Monday.

Africa Cup of Nations round-up - Egypt 4-2 Cameroon, featuring Zidan's hot-shoe juggle

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Wow, what a cracking game that was, the best of the tournament so far. Egypt tore Cameroon apart in the first half, playing a dynamic brand of football that the Lions couldn't live with. Samuel Eto'o did his best to...

Shit Lookalikes - David Beckham, Madonna and Angelina Jolie

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Beckham has been in Sierra Leone, working as a goodwill ambassador for Unicef. Stars love to get their hands on sad-looking Third World kids, don't they?...

Oranje Wednesday - Sparta move off the bottom of the table in style

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With the top pair of Ajax and PSV Eindhoven both recording 1-1 draws, the Eredivise headlines were stolen by Sparta Rotterdam who launched themselves off the foot of the table with a 6-1 hammering of mid-table De Graafschap on Sunday.

Yet more from the Jose Mourinho Setanta Sports puppet

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At the request of Pies regular Kipp, here is the Christmas edition of Jose Mourinho's I'm On Setanta Sports you were all deprived of while we stuffed ourselves with turkey. In this episode, meddling Mourinho causes a telephone fight between Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger and Rafa Benitez.

The Snapshot Special - Bristol Rovers, Barnet and Derby all win penalty shoot-outs, progress to FA Cup fourth round

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What are the chances of that? All three of last night's FA Cup third-round replays went the distance, to penalties. Bristol Rovers knocked out hapless Fulham, Barnet beat Swindon, and Derby County fans at last had something to cheer, when...

Forgotten wonder goals - Sunday Oliseh's strike for Nigeria against Spain

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Sunday Oliseh is currently earning his keep as a BBC pundit for the African Cup of Nations. Ten years ago he was very much in his prime as a player. This beauty from the 1998 World Cup was the goal that eliminated Spain from the competition.

Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsenal Spurs 5-1 Arsena

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'Herbert Chapman, Liam Brady, Charlie George, George Graham, Nigel Winterburn, Perry Groves, Nick Hornby, Pascal Cygan, Pat Rice, Arsene Wenger, Gilles Grimandi, Ian 'Wrighty' Wright... your boys took one hell of a beating!' There, that had to be said. More...

Spurs 5-1 Arsenal - the video highlights

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Can't wait for the official DVD to appear. For now, this will do the job. Via 101GreatGoals...

The Daily Vote - Should Arsene Wenger have played his strongest available team last night against Spurs?

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Arsenal were one game away from a Wembley final, but Arsene Wenger stuck to his guns and played his 'Carling Cup kids' (not exactly kids, but a weaker team than he could have started with, anyway) at White Hart Lane....

What the bloggers say - Spurs 5-1 Arsenal, Carling Cup semi final, second leg

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First up, some reaction from the big Arsenal blogs... '[Spurs] obviously had the momentum and once that's going it's hard to turn it around. They're still an awful bunch of cockfisters though, singing that song about Arsene and throwing stuff at Cesc as he tried to take a corner. No amount of goals wins you any amount of class.

Landon Donovan becomes USA's leading all-time goal scorer. Go Landycakes!

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It almost escaped my notice that Landon Donovan - team-mate of David Beckham, husband to a hot wife, hero to millions of not-quite-so-hot soccer moms - just overtook Eric Wynalda to become the USA's top goal scorer... ever. Landon notched a penalty in the 48th minute during the US's 2-0 victory over Sweden (a 'B' Sweden, it should be said) this weekend, his 35th goal in 97 international appearances.

Top 10 reasons why the African Cup of Nations is better than the World Cup

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1. Germany can't win it. 2. Argentina can't win it. 3. Italy can't win it. 4. Players feel free to shoot from everywhere on the pitch, probably because the standard of goalkeeping is slightly below that seen in the Women's...

Head-to-Head - a minute's silence vs a minute's applause, to commemorate the Munich air disaster

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Man Utd have announced that they will not change their plans to observe a minute's silence in honour of those who died in the Munich air crash (the 50th anniversary of the disaster is on Feb 6th 2008), before next...

Shit Lookalikes - David Moyes and Moe from The Simpsons

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This one is courtesy of the Beeb. As you can see, Everton manager David Moyes is the ginger equivalent of Moe from The Simpsons. And the similarity doesn't stop when the duo get angry...

The Tuesday Teaser

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It's back! Three footballers, each one crudely represented by a set of photo clues. Guess who they are (answers after the click)... 1. 2. 3....

The Bet - Spurs will end their nine-year losing streak against Arsenal tonight (trust me)

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It's just a hunch I have. Put all your money on Tottenham to beat Arsenal in tonight's second leg of their Carling Cup semi final. Seriously. I mean, the hoodoo has to end sometime, right? And tonight is about as...

The Daily Vote - Do Liverpool fans deserve better than Hicks & Gillett?

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Photo Alex Livesey/Getty Images Yep, it seems most Liverpool fans would be happy to ditch their 'Yank' benefactors, Tom Hicks and George Gillett - if only because they could then return to baiting Man Utd fans about the Glazers. Even Steven Gerrard voiced his concern about the state of Liverpool FC last night, after his side drew 2-2 at home with Aston Villa - a result that virtually guarantees another season without the league trophy going to Anfield.

Football videos - trailer for 'Asilo al Futbol', a new movie about Chivas USA star Maykel Galindo

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Maykel Galindo is not a well-known footballer outside of the States, but his story is very interesting. Born and raised in Cuba, he played for the Cuban national team in the 2005 CONCACAF Gold Cup, held in the United States....

Wonder goal - Lomana LuaLua's strike for Olympiakos against Panathanaikos

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Here is Olympiakos striker Lomana LuaLua with exactly the sort of chest control and 25-yard volley that will have Newcastle fans thinking: "Hmm, he never did that for us." This was the opening goal in a 4-0 rout against arch-rivals Panathinaikos in the Greek Cup.

Football videos - Al Hilal 3-2 Man Utd (Sami al-Jaber's testimonial)

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A friendly in Saudi Arabia was probably the last thing Alex Ferguson wanted, but his Man Utd team turned up with many of their biggest stars, including Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez, for yesterday's testimonial against Al Hilal in...

Teutonic Tuesday - Still no Bundesliga action.

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Somebody needs to tell German footballers that Christmas is over. The Bundesliga is still on its jolly holidays for another week-and-a-half. For most teams that means training camps, hence a sunburnt Uli Hoeness watching a ball flying into the net in Marbella above.

Jose Mourinho on Setanta Sports AND Big Brother

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A couple of weeks ago we brought you the hilarious video of a Jose Mourinho puppet hosting the I'm On Setanta Sports phone-in. Now he is back and this time he is on Big Brother too!

Liverpool's Christmas fancy dress party - Steven 'Gerihat-trick' Gerrard goes as pensioner, wins 'best costume' award

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Liverpool FC's fancy-dress Xmas party is now a fixture on the football calendar. Paparazzi desperately try to get snaps of Liverpool's players in costume. This year's party was held a few weeks later than originally scheduled, but that didn't stop...

Shit Lookalikes - Charlotte Mears and Groucho Marx

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One is a famous wag, the other is a sem-famous WAG. Via Kickette...

Shit Lookalikes - Dudu Aouate (Deportivo La Coruna goalkeeper) and Frank Gallagher, the dad from Shameless

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Last week Dudu Aouate got a whack in the eye from team-mate Gustavo Munua (who had replaced him as Deportivo's first-choice 'keeper), which left him looking like Frank Gallagher, the shambolic dad from Channel 4's Shameless. More on the...

Babe with a ball - pump it up

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Er, is that a football pump in your pocket or are you pleased to see me? (Or something like that, I can't quite figure out how the joke should go.) Either way, there's nothing worse than having to play...

Paul Ince conducts an interview while watching a game of tennis

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This Soccer AM Third Eye shows MK Dons boss Paul Ince multi-tasking by conducting an interview with Sky while seemingly retaining his interest in a tennis match...

Football videos: Newcastle United fans welcome back King Kev to St James' Park

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A Newcastle fan's eye view of Kevin Keegan's second coming, before the start of the anticlimactic 0-0 draw with Bolton. Sam Allardyce never got a reception like that....

The Daily Vote - is Zlatan Ibrahimovic the best player in the world right now?

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic is having a fantastic season for Inter. He scored two goals for the runaway Serie A leaders at the weekend, in Inter's 3-2 win at home to Parma. On current form, is he the best player in...

Heroes & Villains - Premier League weekend 19-20 Jan

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HEROES Emmanuel Adebayor The Arsenal man was in sparkling form as he grabbed a brace to help defeat Fulham.

Horror Hair - Micah Richards

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Manchester City fans must be hoping that star defender Micah Richards only conducts himself like William Gallas in the hairdressers and not in contract negotiations.

La Liga Lunes - Real beat Atletico in Madrid derby

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Champions Real Madrid triumphed 0-2 at city rivals Atletico to maintain a seven-point lead at the top of La Liga. Raul side-footed Real into the lead just 32 seconds into the match. Ruud van Nistelrooy added a second shortly before half-time to secure the win.

The Snapshot Special - Ghana 2-1 Guinea, Africa Cup of Nations opener

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A great start to the 2008 Africa Cup of Nations, with a game won by the hosts in the dying minutes of the game, thanks to a cracking goal by Portsmouth's Sulley Muntari. To be fair to Ghana, they were much the better team and should have won by two or three clear goals - they hit the post three times in the first half.

Football videos: Ghana 2-1 Guinea, Africa Cup of Nations

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Hmm, that reminds me, I must take Sulley Muntari out of my Premier League fantasy football team. Via 101GreatGoals More African football...

Football AM - Keegan wants Micah Richards, Sven wants Lukas Podolski

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This morning's five hottest soccer scoops & rumours... 1. Sven-Goran Eriksson wants to bring Bayern Munich starlet Lukas Podolski (pictured) to Man City. Not gonna happen, Sven. F365 2. Tom Hicks has no intention of selling his stake in his...

Forgotten wonder goals - Mark Hughes's thunder volley, Wales vs Spain 1985

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Boof!...

Babe with a ball - Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh

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Marsh: 'Oi, Pinder, put some goalie gloves on before you go anywhere near my booty.' Pinder: 'Er, ok... Weirdo.' More babes with balls...

Daily Club Pies 18/01/08

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The votes are in : most Gooners want Arsene Wenger to sign cover at the back for Kolo Toure Arsenal Pies Branislav Ivanovic's wife is not as sexy as this Chelsea Pies Steven Gerrard named in Uefa's Team of the...

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

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1. Career path Rangers, Coventry City, Dundee Utd, Hearts, Celtic (current)? 2. True or false? Kevin 'The Messiah' Keegan's first name is actually Joseph. 3. Picture round Who can't hear you? (Click to enlarge) 4. Team-mates Enzo Scifo, Roberto Carlos,...

Kevin Keegan unveils his first major signing

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KK has snapped up a big targetman to bag him some goals. Howay The Monster!

The XI - Players that Kevin Keegan should have on his transfer shopping list

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These are players that I think Newcastle & Keegan have a realistic chance of signing and who would improve the NUFC squad - rather than cloud-cuckooland signings like Kaka or Lionel Messi, which, let's be honest, aren't going to happen. 1. Michael Carrick (Man Utd) Carrick was born in the north-east and I imagine he would be warmly welcomed by Newcastle fans.

French Football Friday - Lyon pull away at top of Ligue 1

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Champions Lyon blew away the Christmas cobwebs with a 3-2 win over Toulouse. Hatem Ben Arfa, Juninho and star striker Karim Benzema - who has not left the club despite an anticipated scramble for his signature during the transfer window - were on the scoresheet to secure victory. And as nearest rivals Nancy could only muster a 0-0 draw against Caen, Lyon extended their lead to six points.

The Daily Vote - Which club can become part of a Premier League 'Big Five'?

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It is taken for granted now that the Premier League is dominated by the Big Four of Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool. But this season there has been a considerable amount of waffling done by pundits and managers about which side can haul themselves onto the same level as the Big Four and make it a Big Five.

Forgotten wonder goals - Darren Barnard, Barnsley vs Huddersfield, 1998

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A world-class strike from Darren Barnard, a very talented player who played 24 times for Wales, but who never quite fulfilled his undoubted potential. Thanks to Pies reader David Allison for the tip-off. More wonder goals...

Goal of the week - Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Inter vs Siena (13/01/08)

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Zlatan's arrow-straight shot seems to be accelerating as it hits the back of the net. As pure a strike as you could wish to see, and executed with typically casual brilliance. More wonder goals...

Micah Richards and his brother show off their dance moves

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This video is not just funny because it shows a Premier League football star embarrassing himself by dancing. It is also funny because said Premier League star obviously knows he is being filmed and is performing for the camera. And perhaps the thing that tops it all in the hilarity stakes is the fact that the dance routine has obviously been choreographed and a lot of time and effort has gone into the preparation.

The Snapshot - Bayern Munich's stars plays football tennis

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Luca Toni, Lukas Podolski, Willy Sagnol and Hamit Altintop play a game of football tennis during a Bayern Munich training session in Marbella, Spain. Photo Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images...

Funny old game - Sky Sports' Jeff Stelling rants about Guardian-reading southerners

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In which Stelling, a Hartlepool lad, speaks up in defence of Middlesbrough. Jeff, you are an absolute English treasure and without doubt the best football broadcaster working in this country today. The sooner you are knighted, the better. PS....

Football AM - this morning's top 5 stories

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The hottest five football stories doing the rounds this morning... 1. Kevin Keegan to be unveiled at St James' Park today, but not in front of the Toon Army. BBC Sport 2. Rio Ferdinand: 'I'd love to be England captain,...

French Football Friday: Lyon pull away at top of Ligue 1

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Champions Lyon blew away the Christmas cobwebs with a 3-2 win over Toulouse. Hatem Ben Arfa, Juninho and star striker Karim Benzema - who has not left the club despite an anticipated scramble for his signature during the transfer window - were on the scoresheet to secure victory. And as nearest rivals Nancy could only muster a 0-0 draw against Caen, Lyon extended their lead to six points.

Forgotten wonder goals: Darren Barnard, Barnsley vs Huddersfield, 1998

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A world-class strike from Darren Barnard, a very talented player who played 24 times for Wales, but who never quite fulfilled his undoubted potential. Thanks to Pies reader David Allison for the tip-off. More wonder goals...

Vote: Which side can become part of a 'Big Five'?

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It is taken for granted now that the Premier League is dominated by the Big Four of Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool. But this season there has been a considerable amount of waffling done by pundits and managers about which side can haul themselves onto the same level as the Big Four and make it a Big Five.

Daily Club Pies 16/01/08

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Arsenal Pies Will Mathieu Flamini join Claudio 'The Tinkerman' Ranieri at Juventus? Chelsea Pies Will Shaun-Wright Phillips be Kevin Keegan's No.1 transfer target at Newcastle? Liverpool Pies Dubai Investment Capital are willing and able to buy out Tom Hicks' stake...

Forgotten wonder goals - Thierry Henry volleys a beauty in pre-season friendly, SC Weiz vs Arsenal

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This lovely goal, scored in a pre-season friendly against SC Weiz of Austria in July 2005, is all about TH's great first touch; the second and third touches are even better. When I see a video like this, it...

The Snapshot - Havant & Waterlooville players celebrate their 4-2 FA Cup win over Swansea

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Non-league outfit Havant & Waterlooville set up a dream FA Cup tie against Liverpool with a 4-2 victory over Swansea. The Blue Square South outfit went 3-0 up against the League One side. They now travel to Anfield on Saturday, January 26.

Shit Lookalikes/Horror Hair special - Kevin Keegan and Paul Breitner

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Clash of the white afros alert! You just don't see players with this much hair today, which is a shame - Rio Ferdinand sported the look in pre-season a couple of years ago, but he didn't have the balls...

Gazzetta all di Pies - Alexandre Pato scores on debut for AC Milan, but they are still 25 points behind Internazionale

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The Duck has landed. Brazilian sensation Alexandre Pato scored on his debut for AC Milan, grabbing the fifth goal in a 5-2 thrashing of Napoli. While this might offer Milan fans hope the future, it doesn't help them a great deal in the short-term. They are still 12th in the Serie A table and remain 25 points behind table-topping city rivals Inter Milan.

Classic Football Moments - Congo Brazzaville 3-2 Mali, 1972 African Nations Cup final

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The African Cup of Nations has been going, in one form or another, since 1957. The 1972 final between Congo Brazzaville (also known as the Republic of Congo - not to be confused with the Democratic Republic of Congo, formerly...

Babe with a ball - she shoots, she smiles!

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This model is so very, very happy to be holding that football. And I'm very happy that she's so happy. So everybody's happy. More babes with balls...

Africa Cup of Nations 2008 - Top 10 players to watch

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We all know about Didier Drogba, Samuel Eto'o and Michael Essien, but there are more than three players worth watching at the Africa Cup of Nations, which starts on 20th January. Courtesy of the good people from World Cup Blog...

The XI - Kevin Keegan's worst signings

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The rumours have already started about which players Kevin Keegan will splash Mike Ashley's millions on. Here are 11 reminders of why Mr Ashley might like to keep an eye on the purse strings.

Classic Football Moments - 1972 African Cup of Nations final, Congo Brazzaville 3-2 Mali

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The African Cup of Nations has been going, in one form or another, since 1957. The 1972 final between Congo Brazzaville (also known as the Republic of Congo - not to be confused with the Democratic Republic of Congo, formerly...

Shit Lookalikes/Horror Hair special: Kevin Keegan and Paul Breitner

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Clash of the white afros alert! You just don't see players with this much hair today, which is a shame - Rio Ferdinand sported the look in pre-season a couple of years ago, but he didn't have the balls...

Football hunk of the week - Kevin Keegan

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Beef-cake in 'short shorts' alert! (Control yourself ladies, Kevin is a happily married man.) I can't really think of anything else to say about this tremendously homoerotic picture. Don't stare at it too long, that's my only advice. God, I...

Gazzetta all di Pies: Pato scores on his debut for Milan, but they are still 25 points behind Inter

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The Duck has landed. Brazilian sensation Alexandre Pato scored on his debut for AC Milan, grabbing the fifth goal in a 5-2 thrashing of Napoli. While this might offer Milan fans hope the future, it doesn't help them a great deal in the short-term. They are still 12th in the Serie A table and remain 25 points behind table-topping city rivals Inter Milan.

King Kev Day - Kevin Keegan and his startling admission

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(Summary is not available.)

King Kev Day - The 'I will love it if we beat them' rant

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For all the entertaining football, promotions and close run title races, the defining moment of Kevin Keegan's first reign as Newcastle United boss was arguably this blubbering moan about Alex Ferguson.

King Kev Day - Kevin Keegan's Green Cross Code ad

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We all remember Kevin Keegan's after school endeavours don't we? His disastrous appearance on Superstars, his 'hit' single 'Head Over Heels' and of course, doing ads for Brut aftershave. Well, King Kev also did a public service advert for crossing...

Snapshot: Havant & Waterlooville players celebrate their 4-2 FA Cup win over Swansea

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Non-league outfit Havant & Waterlooville set up a dream FA Cup tie against Liverpool with a 4-2 victory over Swansea. The Blue Square South outfit went 3-0 up against the League One side. They now travel to Anfield on Saturday, January 26.

The Snapshot - the second coming of Kevin Keegan, Messiah of St James'

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Sky Sports reporter David Craig is mobbed by Newcastle United supporters as he announces the appointment of Kevin Keegan as the club's new manager, prior to the FA Cup third-round replay between Newcastle and Stoke City at St James'...

What the bloggers say - Kevin Keegan's return to Newcastle United

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'No lover of English football will begrudge him [Keegan] the opportunity... to write a new chapter in the history of an extraordinary club. The cavalier has entered the gates and the roundheads are in flight. It may all end in tears. But the noise when he makes his return on Saturday evening will be worth hearing.

The Top 20 Kevin Keegan quotes

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Welcome back Kevin, we've missed your wit and wisdom... 20 'It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket. Every time there's a tackle, up pops a yellow card.'19 'I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona.'18 'The...

The Daily Vote No.2 (to take into account the hot football news that Kevin Keegan is on his way back to St James' Park) - Have Newcastle United lost their marbl

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Well, Pies will be featuring a lot of Kevin Keegan-related stuff this week, in light of the extraordinary news that King Kev has been appointed Newcastle United manager, for the second time in his career. I confess that I didn't...

Classic Football Kits - Napoli's Mars shirt, from the Diego Maradona era

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I love the fact that the great Diego Maradona used to wear a shirt sponsored by... a chocolate bar. Because Maradona himself looked like he might have received and then consumed a few complimentary Mars bars whilst he was at...

Babe with a ball - A Mexican angel

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Here's a pic of US model Alison Angel, standing by a tree, wearing slightly more clothes than she does usually - or so my sources inform me (I wouldn't know about such things). Hot this season? Green Mexican hotpants. More...

Newcastle United appoint Kevin Keegan as manager... again! Has Mike Ashley gone mad?

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Yowza! Big news. HRH King Kevin Keegan is returning to Newcastle United to manage the club for the second time. The 56-year-old has been confirmed as Sam Allardyce's replacement at St James' Park. Keegan said on Monday: "I'm not ruling myself out or in. It's a club I love, everyone knows that."

The Daily Vote No.2 (to take into account the scorchingly hot football news that King Kevin Keegan is on his way back to St James' Park) - Have Newcastle United

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Well, Pies will be featuring a lot of Kevin Keegan-related stuff this week, in light of the extraordinary news that King Kev has been appointed Newcastle United manager, for the second time in his career. I confess that I didn't...

Not News - Fabio Capello faces tax investigation in Italy

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I guess from the national papers that it's MAJOR NEWS that Il Postino, Fabio Capello, faces a tax investigation in Italy re: his earnings when he was head coach of Juventus. The FA knew about it before they hired Capello,...

Classic Football Kits: Napoli's Mars shirt, (from the Diego Maradona era)

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I loved the fact that the great Diego Maradona used to wear a shirt sponsored by... a chocolate bar. Because Maradona himself looked like he might have received and then consumed a few complimentary Mars bars whilst he was at...

Forgotten wonder goals: Thierry Henry volleys a beauty in pre-season friendly, SC Weiz vs Arsenal

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This lovely goal, scored in a pre-season friendly against SC Weiz of Austria in July 2005, is all about TH's great first touch; the second and third touches are even better. When I see a video like this, it...

The Snapshot: Karslruher's mid-season training camp

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Karlsruher players warm up during their mid-season training camp at the Gloria Verde Hotel in Belek, Turkey. Photo Friedemann Vogel/Bongarts/Getty Images...

What the bloggers say: Jurgen Klinsmann to become Bayern Munich head coach

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'In Klinsmann, Bayern are getting one of football's few real galacticos, and they're doing it on the cheap, compared to the tens of millions it would cost to bring in a Ronaldinho or Kaka.' Reuters Soccer Blog

5 random thoughts: FA Cup third-round replays

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1. Have you ever seen Glenn Roeder smile? I mean really, really smile? The sort of sincere smile where your eyes go all twinkly. I can't remember it ever happening. Not that Glenn had much to smile about, after his Norwich City side were knocked out by Bury last night, but still. Even thinking about him depresses me :( 2.

The 'can I go back now?' XI

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Pies puts together a team of players who must be wishing they had stayed at their former club rather than seeking out pastures new.

Oranje Wednesday: Ajax send out signal of intent, PSV still top

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Ajax marked their intentions for 2008 with a 6-1 victory over AZ Alkmaar, but PSV still hold a three-point lead over them at the top of the Eredivisie. PSV won 0-1 at Feyenoord, a result which allowed Ajax to leap-frog Feyenoord and move up to second.

Horror Hair: Kevin Keegan, Terry McDermott and Alan Shearer

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This golden oldie (the video, not King Kev) is particularly topical given that two-thirds of those featured are currently being touted as Newcastle United's new manager. So pick the Toon's new gaffer from the hair on offer here. Yes, apparently you could still get away with an advert this cheesey in the 1990s!

The Daily Vote - Did Man Utd make a mistake selling Giuseppe Rossi?

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Man Utd fans may have notcied that Giuseppe Rossi is doing really well for Villareal in Spain's Premira Liga. I always got the feeling that Alex Ferguson never gave the Italian-American fox-in-the-box enough of a chance at Old Trafford. Your...

Kit Parade: Buy Dimitar Berbatov's Man Utd No.14 shirt

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Subside Sports is selling a Man Utd shirt with Dimitar Berbatov's name and potential squad number (No.14 is vacant) on the back. Very cheeky, and guaranteed to wind up Spurs fans. Good work Subside, although I'm not sure if it's...

David James gives football passionate kiss

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When Pompey keeper David James was asked if he would like a feel of the ball before kick-off he decided he wanted a bit more for his money...

Paulo Wanchope retires from football

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So Paulo Wanchope will no longer wear the national shirt of Costa Rica. He scored 45 goals in 72 international appearances, a very impressive return for such a wildly inconsistent player. Wanchope, still only 31 years old, played for...

Football videos: Cristiano Ronaldo races a Bugatti Veyron in his new Nike Vapor football boots

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The flashest car in the world vs the flashest footballer in the world. (And do you think Bugatti gave Cristiano a free Veyron? I doubt it.) Via The Beautiful Game...

Babe with a ball: Japanese mud fight

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Great ball control from the flexible No.4... hang on a minute, there are two No.4s on the pitch, both wearing the same kit! No wonder that ref is pulling out his red card... More babes with balls...

Sam Allardyce leaves St James' Park - is any manager good enough for Newcastle's deluded fans?

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Well, Newcastle fans, you got what you wanted. Happy now? You effectively forced Sam Allardyce out of your club, without ever giving him a decent chance to show what he could do (as your Mackem rivals have generously done to Roy Keane, who has kept his job despite a string of dismal results).

VOTE - Who should be Newcastle Utd's next manager?

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Harry Redknapp is the bookies' favourite to replace Sam Allardyce at Newcastle, although he's said he's happy at Portsmouth (he hasn't ruled himself out though...). Alan Shearer has also been tipped to take the hot seat, but he'd prefer to...

Snapshot Classic: David Beckham and Gary Neville play golf together

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May 1998 With the 1998 World Cup just weeks away, Gary Neville and best buddy David Beckham enjoy a sunny day on the golf course with British pro Paul Broadhurst at Mill Ride Golf Course in Ascot. Photo Andrew...

Horror Hair: Jermain Defoe

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Jermain Defoe played in Tottenham's Carling Cup semi-final against Arsenal last night sporting some kind of cranial G-string. Pies is not sure what is more shocking, the haircut or the fact that Defoe played a game. Dressing up as the planet Saturn is one way of attracting the attention of other clubs during the transfer window, I suppose.

Jose Mourinho puppet hosts Setanta Sports phone-in

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This hilarious video shows Jose Mourinho forging a new career as the Special presenter of Setanta Sports phone-in I'm On Setanta Sports. No cabbage. Bring back Special One.

Gary Neville scores for Man Utd reserves!!!

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Not only did G. Neville last 45 minutes for Man Utd's reserves against Everton last night, before being replaced at half-time, but he also scored a goal! Most un-Neville like behaviour, although it wasn't exactly a wonder goal by all...

Gazzetta all di Pies: Inter Milan a few furlongs clear in three-horse race

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Serie A broke up for the festive period with Inter Milan holding a comfortable seven-point lead over Roma at the top of the table. Juventus are a further point behind Roma and six points ahead of fourth-placed Udinese, meaning this year's scudetto is at best a three-horse race.

Shit Lookalikes: Jermain Defoe's new haircut and Wembley Stadium's arch

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Props to Sheldon, Shiny Media's design guru, for this tremendous nomination. Jermain, you're going to have to do a lot more than that to win a place in Fabio Capello's England team... More Shit Lookalikes...

AEK Athens' Marcelo Moretto suffers a Greek goalkeeping tragedy

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Here at Pies we love a good goalkeeping clanger, and this effort from AEK Athens' Marcelo Moretto fits perfectly into that category. Asteras Tripolis' Filomena can hardly believe his luck as his shot wriggles under the keeper.

Classic Moment: Fred scores the fastest goal ever

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Here is Middlesbrough and Spurs target Fred (the Brazilian with the most Premier League-friendly name in his country's history) scoring what we think is the fastest goal ever scored with video evidence to back the claim. And 3.17 seconds is a pretty quick goal in anyone's book.

Come in Paul Robinson, your time at Spurs is up...

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Tottenham coach Juande Ramos has seen more than enough of Paul Robinson (favourite TV show: The Clangers) to realise that Spurs really, REALLY need a new goalkeeper if they are ever to achieve consistency.

Snapshot Classic: Ooh-Ah Cantona and Man Utd's infamous grey kit

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December 1995 Eric Cantona checks Man Utd's defensive wall (featuring Lee Sharpe, David Beckham, Andy Cole and Brian McClair) during the Premier League match between United and Liverpool at Anfield. Liverpool won the game 2-0, a defeat that Man...

Meet Foosbot, the invincible table-football robot

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Foosbot, developed by students at Rice University, in Houston, Texas, has never been defeated by a human opponent. Either the robot is really good, or its opponents have been really crap. I think I could take him. Via Guardian...

Babe with a ball: soccer pants on the catwalk

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Do you see what the clever fashion designer has done? That model's bikini bottoms look just like an old-fashioned football! Some kind of genius is at work here. More babes with balls...

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

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1. Career path Perugia, Glasgow Rangers, Salernitana, AC Milan (current)? 2. True or false? Ryan Giggs has been mentioned in an episode of The Simpsons. 3. Picture round Who's the boy wonder? (click to enlarge) 4. Team-mates Ray Houghton, Iain...

Snaphot: Japanese side miss the point of the little-and-large strike partnership theory

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J-League outfit Urawa Red Diamonds show off new signing Naohiro Takahara. The Japanese international striker has joined from Eintracht Frankfurt. I'm not convinced about his strike partner though - she makes Michael Owen look like Peter Crouch. [Note to Ed. - not to be used in the new Babe with a ball category!

Crazy footballing squirrel does keepy uppies

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This slightly disturbing advert for Carlsberg Sport will leave you wondering if it is you or the squirrel who has been on the juice. This squirrel has serious skills!

French Football Friday

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A sloth, Jens Lehmann, a fat kid with a mountain of selection boxes to work his way through and Laurent Robert in a defensive training session. These are just a few examples of things that are more active than a Ligue 1 footballer in January.

Heroes & Villains: Premier League weekend 12-13 Jan

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HEROES Kieran Richardson The ex-Man Utd whinger winger put in a classy display and scored a brace to earn Sunderland a priceless three points against Portsmouth.

The Snapshot: Bayern Munich's Marbella training camp

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Bayern Munich players train in Marbella, Spain. Photo Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images...

Compilation of some of football's worst fakes

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And we're are not talking about one of Mickey Thomas's tenners here. This video puts together some of the worst acts of diving, simulation and feigning injury and puts them together in a neat little package for you.

Kevin Keegan and Alan Shearer - are they the dream team Newcastle United need?

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I have Sky Sports News on in the background, and all I can hear is the anchor reading out excited emails/texts from Newcastle fans who are creaming themselves simply because Kevin Keegan hasn't ruled himself out of the Newcastle manager's job (having had a microphone/TV camera thrust in his face).

Jose Mourinho is the best manager for Newcastle United

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The perfect manager for Newcastle? It's not Alan Shearer (no experience) or Kevin Keegan (a ghost from the past), but Jose Mourinho.

Babe with a ball: Germany's cheerleader

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Disgraceful that someone would vandalise a German national team shirt like that. And has she superglued the ball to her hair by mistake? Answers on a postcard please... More babes with balls...

Classic Moments: Alan Shearer scores from about 3cm out, England vs Georgia, Wembley

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The most direct indirect free-kick I've ever seen. Knowing how hard Big Alan can twat a ball (very hard indeed), there's no way I'd want to be in that wall. Nicely worked goal though - a ruthless finish from...

Wayne Rooney's accuracy is not what we thought it was

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Remember Wayne Rooney's Put It Where You Want It viral for Nike? Well, here is the behind-the-scenes that proves he was unable to hit the camera at the first attempt. No, Wazza's accuracy is so poor that it took him three whole attempts before he found his tiny target.

Forgotten wonder goals: Pakistan cricketer Mushtaq Ahmed scores from a narrow angle

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No goalkeeper to stop this going in, but you can't deny that this is a lovely, curling finish from spin bowler Mushy (as he was celebrating Sussex CCC's C&G Trophy win at Brighton & Hove Albion)....

La Liga Lunes: Ruud van Nistelrooy brace keeps Real Madrid ticking over at the top of the table

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Table-topping Real Madrid beat bottom-side Levante 0-2 courtesy of a late Ruud van Nistelrooy brace. The Dutchman broke the deadlock with a 76th minute penalty and added a second goal three minutes from time. Barcelona ensured they didn't fall any further behind than the seven point they already trail the champions by with a 4-0 thrashing of Murcia.

Pies' halfway Premier League team of the season

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I meant to put this team up when we were 19 games (i.e. exactly halfway through the season) into the Prem campaign. Still, better slightly late than never... here, for you to peruse/violently disagree with, is Pies' Premier League team...

Football videos: AC Milan's boy wonder Alexandre Pato scores on his debut, against Napoli

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As scripted, boy genius Alexandre Pato scored on his Milan debut, in the Rossoneri's 5-2 rout of Napoli at the San Siro. The 18-year-old Brazilian netted Milan's fifth with a cool finish. There's no doubt that Pato has all...

Funniest finish to any football game, ever?

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Jeez, I hope the guy in red who kicked the ball didn't go home and kill himself. Via The Beautiful Game...

Jon Arne Riiise releases the Kraken!

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Here's US commentator Max Bretos calling a Riise free-kick. Beats John Motson, any day. (The Kraken is a mythical sea monster, in case you didn't know.) Links Liverpool Pies...

Al Bangura is allowed to stay in the UK

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Watford player Al Bangura has been granted a work permit which means he no longer faces deportation from the UK. The Sierra Leone-born midfielder was told in December he would have to leave the country. But the 19-year-old has now be told he can continue to play for the Hornets.

The Snapshot: Luca Toni, strong like bull

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Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni lifts weights during Bayern's training camp in Marbella, Spain. Feel the burn Luca. Photo Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images...

The Snapshot 2: Luca Toni, gay like Christmas

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Luca Toni (right) larks about in the campest possible fashion with team-mate Willy Sagnol, again during Bayern Munich's Marbella training camp. Photo Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images...

Teutonic Tuesday: Jurgen Klinsmann to become new Bayern Munich manager

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Cash-strapped outfit KFC Uerdingen (they're finger lickin' good) have placed their manager's post on eBay in an attempt to raise funds. The highest bidder will take charge of the bankrupt regional fourth division team for 24 hours to sample "all the joys coaching has to offer".

Shit Lookalike: Fabio Capello and Postman Pat

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One is a bespectacled tactician proud to be serving the English public, the other is Fabio Capello.

The Daily Vote - Should John Terry keep the England captaincy?

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'I am evaluating whether to decide on a definitive captain, or to appoint a provisional captain. I have first to know the candidates well. Please don't take this as indecision. The captaincy issue is a very important one for England....

Babe with a ball: I always liked Argentina's home kit

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Fair play to the artist who painstakingly recreated an Argentina shirt on this busty young lady. He/she even went to the trouble of painting on the adidas logo. Admirable attention to detail. (Click to have a closer look.) More babes...

Shit Lookalikes: Sylar from Heroes and Cesc Fabregas

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Gabriel 'Sylar' Gray (played by American actor Zachary Quinto) is one bad motherf**ker in Heroes - he steal everyone's superpowers, by slicing open their heads no less, and then does bad things with them.

January transfer window guide, No.2: Aston Villa

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Current league position 7th Squad health Villa's small squad means that Martin O'Neill simply can't afford any injuries to key players. Ashley Young, Gabriel Agbonlahor, Zat Knight and Nigel Reo-Coker have all improved under O'Neill, whilst club captain Gareth Barry continues to lead by example.

Shit Lookalikes: Anton Ferdinand and Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges

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As suggested by, er, me. I was watching Oscar-winning movie Crash on DVD the other night, when I noticed that actor Chris Bridges (aka rapper Ludacris) looked a bit like West Ham defender Anton Ferdinand. And 'looking a bit...

The Snapshot: Chelsea 2-1 Everton, Carling Cup semi final, first leg

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John Obi Mikel is sent off by referee Peter Walton after a wild, studs-up challenge on Phil Neville during the Carling Cup semi final 1st leg between Chelsea and Everton at Stamford Bridge on January 8, 2008 in London,...

Forgotten wonder goals: Youssef Safri's rocket for Norwich against Newcastle

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Simply unstoppable. Five Shay Givens wouldn't have kept it out....

Is new Derby signing Laurent Robert the last man you'd want on your side in a relegation scrap?

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Laurent Robert has talent to burn. He's also a big girl's blouse, and exactly the last sort of player you need in a relegation fight.

Ronaldinho snogs the opposition keeper

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Well, his FIFA 08 persona at least. Not quite as controversial as it might have sounded then, but it is still funny. Ronny has a shot at goal and is suddenly overwhelmed with passion.

Babe with a ball: a wet Wednesday night in Rio

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Here's a Brazilian Playboy Bunny about to take a free-kick in the pissing rain - she seems to have forgotten to put on a pair of shorts, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I'd say no, quite the opposite...

Shit Lookalike: Stuart Pearce and a naughty schoolboy in the headmaster's office

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"It wasn't me, sir, honest. It was Tony Adams - he did it. Not the cane, Mr Capello!"

Oranje Wednesday: Ajax down to third after two 2-2s

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Ajax dropped to third in the Eredivisie after a disappointing festive period. The Amsterdam giants suffered a humiliating 2-1 defeat at bottom-club Excelsior, and followed it up with consecutive 2-2 draws against Twente and VVV Venlo.

Join Titus 'Mr T' Bramble and Andy Johnson in football's A-Team

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The three-fingered 'A' salute being flashed around as a goal celebration has created a bit of a murmur. Is it a secret Premier League cult? Are footballers gradually learning the alphabet? When Wigan defender Titus Bramble used the celebration against Liverpool the plot thickened. Did it stand for 'At last I've scored for my team instead of the opposition'?

Benfica team-mates Luisao and Konstantinos Katsouranis have an on-pitch scuffle

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Benfica duo Luisao and Konstantinos Katsouranis played a game of Bowyer-Dyer in their match against Setúbal at the weekend. The handbags resulted in both players being substituted immediately and suspended until further notice by the club.

Shit Lookalikes: Cheetara from Thundercats and Robbie Savage

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As nominated by Pies stalwart Cole - mate, the resemblence is striking; Cheetara could be Robbie's twin sister. Any more Thundercats who look like footballers? If there's a Snarf double out there, I'd love to know who it is....

Babe with a ball: keepy-ups in hot pants

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Today's babe with a ball features a girl who clearly knows how to pull-off a keepy up. Maybe. Either that or some kid in a park just hoofed the ball at her face as she was jogging. And is that...

January transfer window: Top 5 rumours of the day

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1 Jermain 'third-choice' Defoe has been told he can leave Spurs by boss Juande Ramos. However, the 'ambitious' (rolls eyes) English striker wants to stay and fight for his place/hope that Dimitar Berbatov is sold. Move on Jermain - they...

Forgotten wonder goals: Kanu's fantastic flick, Arsenal vs Spurs

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Perhaps not the most wonderful wonder goal you've ever seen, but I love its beautiful simplicity. Kanu's flick is perfectly timed - Luke Young doesn't know if he's coming or going. More wonder goals...

Classic Moment: Burnley mascot stops a steaker in his tracks

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This classic clip shows Burnley mascot Bertie Bee laying the smackdown on a streaker at Turf Moor. The stewards struggle to thwart the naked fan, but Bertie steps in to save the day. Cue big furry bee doing wrestling celebrations at the side of the pitch!

Support Pies' hug-a-ref campaign

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At Christmas time with the busy football schedule, sometimes it seems like a good idea to bring in extra referees to cope with the demand. The fact remains that once the festivities have died down many of these men in black have no home to go to.

Snapshot Classic: Gabriel Batitusta in action at the 1994 World Cup

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June 1994 Gabriel Batistuta of Argentina appeals for a foul during his team's World Cup group match against Bulgaria, played in Dallas, Texas. Bulgaria won the match 2-0, with goals by Hristo Stoichkov and Nasko Sirakov, thereby knocking Argentina...

Jamie Carragher goes nuts after being told to 'calm down!' by Luton fans wearing shellsuits and curly wigs

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I love this story, from the website of the Current Bun. Carra reportedly 'lost it' after being taunted - i.e. told to 'calm down' in a bad Scouse accent - by a small section of Luton fans wearing curly wigs...

Teutonic Tuesday: Owen Hargreaves remembers the good old days, German FA sues dodgy ref Robert Hoyzer

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The main news in German football this week is that there is no news. Well, that's not strictly true but there is no Bundesliga action until February. Now that is a winter break. It is at times like this that people like Owen Hargreaves, who have sacrificed their cushy holiday allowance to warm Manchester United's bench over the festive period, must kick themselves.

Robbie Savage signs for Derby County, wants to be relegated

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Derby County have agreed a fee with Blackburn Rovers for Robbie Savage. The Welshman, no longer assured of first-team football at Ewood, is a good signing for Derby, but he won't save them from the drop. He is due to have talks with Derby to agree personal terms later today.

Join Pies FC - register to have your say...

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As some of you will have noticed, if you want to leave a comment on Pies now you have to register with our Pies Community. I hope you think it's worth 60 seconds of your time to sign up &...

Register with Pies to have your say...

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As some of you will have noticed, if you want to leave a comment on Pies now you have to register with our Pies Community. I hope you think it's worth 60 seconds of your time to sign up &...

Snapshot Classic: Gazza's famous free-kick for Spurs vs Arsenal, FA Cup semi final, 1991

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1991 Spurs midfielder Paul Gascoigne celebrates after scoring with a 35-yard free-kick during the FA Cup semi-final against Arsenal at Wembley Stadium. Tottenham Hotspur won the match 3-1, and went on to lift the trophy, defeating Nottm Forest 2-1...

FA Cup fourth-round draw: Arsenal vs Newcastle/Stoke, Man Utd vs Reading/Spurs, and other plum ties

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Big Sam Allardyce is right out of luck at the moment. Even if his Newcastle Utd side get past Stoke in their third-round reply, they will face Arsenal away in the fourth round - the only consolation for Sam is that Arsene Wenger may not put out a full-strength team for that game.

David Beckham has biggest carbon footprint in the history of the world

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The Inconvenient Truth for Becks fans is that their hero is supposedly the least green person on the planet. As The Daily Star reported recently, 'LA Galaxy star Becks, 32, not only owns a fleet of 15 gas-guzzling supercars [including a Porsche, Hummer and Lincoln Navigator], he has clocked up more than 250,000 miles in the air in the last year - more than the distance to the far side of the Moon.

La Liga Lunes: Iker Cassilas inspires Real Madrid win

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Goalkeeper Iker Casillas kept Real Madrid's seven-point lead over Barcelona intact with a match-winning performance against Real Zaragoza. Casillas made a string of saves in a match dominated by mid-table Zaragoza. The champions won the match 2-0 with goals from Ruud van Nistelrooy and Robinho.

Who said people had lost respect for the FA Cup?

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Surely not the gang at regional news programme Central tonight...

Frazer Richardson's wonder goal, Leeds Utd vs Northampton Town, League One

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One of the goals of the season so far, by Leeds United defender (defender!) Frazer Richardson - Northampton aren's the strongest opposition, but it was a powerful run and a fine finish. Leeds are now up to fourth in...

Pies' 12 Days of Christmas: 12 Robinhos drumming

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On the twelfth day of Christmas, Pies sends to you 12 Robinho's drumming...

Robinho has baby son, celebrates with hat-trick of moves

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... Yes, it means that after the Brazilian daddy scored for Real Madrid in their 2-0 win against Real Zaragoza, he celebrated in time-honoured fashion: Robinho's post-goal celebration was one of the finest 'I'm going to let the world know...

Heroes & Villains: FA Cup third round weekend

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HEROES Michael Mifsud The Coventry striker led the Sky Blues to an incredible 1-4 victory at Blackburn with two goals.

The Snapshot special: Top 10 photos from the FA Cup third round

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1 Craig Hinton of Bristol Rovers rises above the Fulham defence to score his team's second goal at Craven Cottage. Bristol held the Premier League side to a 2-2 draw. Photo Phil Cole/Getty Images

David Beckham would trust Gary Neville not to sleep with his naked wife. If my best friend was as ugly as Gary Neville, so would I

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Would you trust your best mate to be around your naked wife/girlfriend/partner and act like a gentleman? David Beckham would. Speaking at a do for the Football Writers' Association, Becks said that he'd trust best bud Gary Neville with his wife Victoria - even if she was naked.

Babe with a ball: the muddy bikini girl

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I have no idea who this blonde, bikini-clad young lady is, but I do know that she'll catch a cold if she doesn't at least put on a pair of gloves. I'm sure Sepp Blatter would approve though. More babes...

Robinho has had a baby son, celebrates with hat-trick of moves

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... Yes, it means that after the Brazilian daddy scored for Real Madrid in their 2-0 win against Real Zaragoza, he celebrated in time-honoured fashion: Robinho's post-goal celebration was one of the finest 'I'm going to let the world know that I've had a baby!' moments in football history.

Shit Lookalikes: Philippe Senderos and Charlie Brown

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One is a likeable no hoper who constantly gets himself into scrapes on the field of play with his comic strip antics, the other is Philippe Senderos.

Pies' 12 Days of Christmas: 12 Robinho's drumming

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On the twelfth day of Christmas, Pies sends to you 12 Robinho's drumming...

The Snapshot: Phil O'Donnell's funeral

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Young Motherwell fans gather to pay tribute to Phil O'Donnell at St Mary's Church in Hamilton, Scotland. Hundreds of fans and leading sporting figures attended the funeral of the 35-year-old Motherwell captain, who collapsed during a match against Dundee...

Pies' weekend picks: FA Cup third round

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BRISTOL CITY to beat Middlesbrough City are tough to beat at home and 'Boro have no form right now. This looks like the most obvious 'upset' of the third round. Not that it would be a massive upset, mind. SPURS...

The FA Cup third round heroes XI

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A team of giantkilling heroes to inspire the minnows in this weekend's FA Cup third-round ties.

David Beckham starts training with Arsenal

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David Beckham has started training with Arsenal, in a bid to stay fit during the MLS's off season. He will mostly train with Arsenal's reserves over the next few weeks but he may join up with the first team when they are short of players. Will he also wear official Arsenal kit to train in though?

French Football Friday: Lyon and Nancy share points before French footballers hibernate

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The French football festive programme is much less packed than the English one. Ligue 1 footballers clocked off the weekend before Christmas and will not kick a ball again until January 12. The final round of fixtures before the winter break did throw up one particularly interesting tie though as the top two went head-to-head.

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

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Welcome to the first FFQ of 2008. Slightly new format for the quiz, cause we like to keep things fresh at Pies. Can you answer all six of these teasers? Career path Coventry City, Vasco da Gama, LA Galaxy (current)? True or false? Gazza's pop single 'Fog on the Tyne' reached No.

David Beckham starts training with Arsenal (only the reserves)

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David Beckham has started training with Arsenal, in a bid to stay fit during the MLS's off season. He will mostly train with Arsenal's reserves over the next few weeks but he may join up with the first team when they are short of players. Will he also wear official Arsenal kit to train in though?

Babe with a ball: Elena Santarelli and her golden gloves

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Meet Elena Santarelli, whose job is 'Hot Italian glamour model' (as you might have guessed from the patriotic bra). She has one golden ball, exactly half as many as you'd find inside David Beckham's underpants....

Gordon Strachan's selection headache - how do you avoid playing Derek Riordan?

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This sketch from Scottish football comedy show Only An Excuse? shows the lengths Celtic manager Gordon Strachan has to go to in order to avoid picking out-of-sorts Derek Riordan.

Pies' 12 Days of Christmas: 11 Gazzas piping

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On the eleventh day of Christmas, Pies sends to you eleven Gazza's piping...

Frank Lampard: I love Chelsea and I'm staying until I retire (Translation: No other big club wants me)

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Fwank Lampard has pledged to spend the rest of his playing career at Chelsea. (In other words, no other big club is interested in him, so he's played the loyalty card - one of the oldest tricks in the book.) So there will be no dream move to Barcelona for Lamps and his Spanish missus Elen Rives.

January transfer window: Top 5 rumours of the day - Alan Hutton to Spurs, Jens Lehmann to Borussia Dortmund?

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1 Alan Hutton, Rangers' highly rated right-back (pictured), is weighing up a move to Spurs. The 23-year-old Scot looked great for his country in their Euro 2008 qualifying campaign, and reports suggest that Tottenham have dangled an £8m carrot in front of Rangers' noses.

Shit Lookalikes: Thomas Gravesen and Panthro from Thundercats

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Thunder thunder, Thunder THUNDER, THUNDER THUNDER-CATS! This is the first Shit Lookalike of 2008 from Chringle, the King of Shit Lookalikes. As usual, it's inspired....

Babe with a ball: Keeley Hazell and her three sisters

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Today's hot babe with a football is Keeley Hazell, every white van man's favourite glamour girl. Or four Keeley Hazells, to be exact - but only one Keeley has a ball. Confused? Ah, who cares. Sometimes, you have to bow...

Classic FA Cup third round Moment: Hereford defeat Newcastle 2-1, 1972

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Hereford's win over Newcastle is arguably the greatest FA Cup third round giantkilling act, and certainly one of the most famous. Having taken Newcastle to a replay with a 2-2 draw at St James's Park, Southern League outfit Hereford went 0-1 down to a Malcolm Macdonald goal in the 82nd minute. Just three minutes later, Ronnie Radford's superb 30-yard strike took the match to extra time.

Is Dimitar Berbatov worth £30m?

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Juande Ramos has slapped a £30m pricetag on Dimitar Berbatov's head. Or, to be precise, the Spurs boss has said that 'a club would have to break the British transfer record to sign Berbatov'. That means Chelsea or Man Utd (the only two English clubs who would buy the Bulgarian) would have to spend more than the reputed £30.

Hot babe with a football: Elena Santarelli and her golden gloves

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Meet Elena Santarelli, whose job is 'Hot Italian glamour model' (as you might have guessed from the patriotic bra). She has one golden ball, exactly half as many as you'd find inside David Beckham's underpants....

Snapshot Classic: Italy's Roberto Baggio scores against Nigeria at the 1994 World Cup

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July 1994 Roberto Baggio of Italy celebrates scoring the winning goal during the World Cup '94 second-round match against Nigeria, played at the Foxboro Stadium, in Boston, Massachusetts. Italy won the match 2-1 after extra-time. Photo Rick Stewart/Allsport...

Chelsea don't need Nicolas Anelka

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Anelka is the main man at Bolton, the star attraction, their best player. Bolton are 'Nicolas Anelka's Bolton', just as Arsenal were 'Thierry Henry's Arsenal' not so long ago. He is happy at the Reebok, but he should be - it's the sort of club that fits neatly with his selfish, 'big fish in a small pond' attitude.

January transfer window guide, No.1: Arsenal

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This month Pies will look at each Premier League club and what they need to do in the January transfer window to improve. First up, Arsenal: Current league position 1st

Today's hot girl with a ball: Elena Santarelli and her golden ball

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Meet Elena Santarelli, whose job is 'Hot Italian glamour model' (as you might have guessed from the patriotic bra). She has one golden ball, exactly half as many as you'd find inside David Beckham's underpants....

Newcastle 0-2 Man City: Sam Allardyce is a dead man walking, but he must keep his job

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Sam Allardyce is probably one more home defeat away from losing his job as Newcastle manager. After his side's 2-0 defeat to Man City at St James' Park last night, a beleaguered Allardyce said: 'A team like Newcastle should not lose three on a trot and it is a low moment.' (No team is immune from three straight defeats, particularly not a Newcastle team that is blatantly low on confidence.

Pies' 12 Days of Christmas: 10 frauds a-leaping

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On the tenth day of Christmas, Pies send to you 10 frauds a-leaping...

Liverpool 1-1 Wigan: Liverpool lack the genius to win the league this season, and Titus Bramble scores again!

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Liverpool are a well-organised, powerful, athletic, talented team - but they don't half play some dull football. I have no doubt that Rafa Benitez makes sure that his players eat the right shape of pasta, but football is about more than pure science. It's about genius, it's about inspiration, it's about impossible-to-define moments of magic that win you games.

Six reasons why Cristiano Ronaldo will go to Real Madrid next season

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1 Ronaldo will win the Premier League again this season with Man Utd. I also believe United will win the Champions League in 2008. After that, he may feel that his apprenticeship in England is done; Spain is the league that would suit him best. 2 The weather in Madrid versus the weather in Manchester.

The Snapshot: Bolton Wanderers 1-0 Derby County

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Stelios of Bolton Wanderers celebrates scoring the winning goal in the 90th minute of last night's Premier League match between Bolton and Derby County at the Reebok Stadium. Derby battled gamely and probably deserved a point from the game, but their fate is sealed, barring the most miraculous escape in Premier League history.

Sexy soccer cheerleaders lick David Beckham's naked body. (Or, how I tried to boost hits for a tedious story about Nancy Dell'Olio's new haircut)

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Big news, people! Nancy Dell'Olio has had her hair cut off. Woo-hoo! Is that a football story though? She used to go out with Sven-Goran Eriksson, so I guess it counts, just. Anyway, Nancy's expensive new hairdo can't disguise the...

Shit Lookalikes: Michael Ballack and Matt Damon

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Thanks to Pies reader Vijayan for this fine spot....

Zinedine Zidane's The Power of Cup Noodle ad

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Zidane ? Power of cup noodleUploaded by Milder Yeah, cause Zizou needed the cash from a Japanese TV ad, didn't he? Via The Offside...

January transfer window: Top 5 Rumours of the Day

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The January transfer window is open for business, and so football's rumour mill has gone into overdrive. Will Berbatov stay at Spurs? Has Joey Barton taken a shower yet? So many questions, so few answers. Here are the top 5 transfer window rumours of the day, neatly summarised in one cut-out-and-keep package: 1 Avram Grant wants to splash out £35m to sign both Nicolas Anelka and 'want-away' Dimitar Berbatov.

Snapshot Classic: Ronaldinho trains for the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games

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September 2000 Ronaldinho of Brazil flashes a trademark smile during a training session for the Olympic Games at the Gabba in Brisbane, Australia. Photo Darren England/ALLSPORT...

January transfer window: if your club could sign just one player, who would you choose?

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The precious January transfer window is upon us. It's a time when struggling clubs aim to strengthen their ailing squads, and the in-form big clubs smugly claim to be happy with what they have. What would you do with...

The festive football programme: Premier League Heroes & Villains

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HEROES Martin O'Neill Villa fans are now starting to see the fruits of O'Neill's labour. Two wins and two draws (including that incredible 4-4 draw against Chelsea) was a fine Xmas return for Villa, who are now up to sixth in the table. Nigel Reo-Coker, Ashley Young, Gabriel Agbonlahor, Martin Laursen and John Carew are all thriving under O'Neill.

WAG of the week: Elen Rives (Frank Lampard, Chelsea)

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A long overdue appearance for Lamps' better half: Name Elen Rives Nationality Spanish WAG of... Rives is lucky enough to be engaged to Super Frank Lampard. She gave birth to the couple's first child, a girl named Luna, in 2005. They have another girl, Isla, born in May 2007.

Snapshot Classic: Ronaldinho trains for the 2000 Olympics

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September 2000 Ronaldinho of Brazil flashes a trademark smile during a training session for the Olympic Games at the Gabba in Brisbane, Australia. Photo Darren England/ALLSPORT...

Pies' 12 Days of Christmas: Nine Tevez's dancing

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On the ninth day of Christmas, Pies sends to you nine Tevez's dancing...

Who Ate All the Pies says Happy New Year!

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After a lovely, relaxing holiday, dominated by the DVD box-set of Heroes, Season One (ooh, that Sylar is a naughty boy!), and several boxes of Ferrero Rocher, Who Ate All the Pies is back in full effect. And I must say, it's very good to be back.

The Snapshot: Adelaide United vs Sydney FC, A-League

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Iain Fyfe of Sydney FC takes a free-kick during the Round 18 A-League match between Adelaide United and Sydney, held at Adelaide's Hindmarsh Stadium on December 28, 2007.

Shit Lookalikes: D.L. Hawkins from Heroes and Lassana Diarra of Arsenal

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The first Shit Lookalike of 2008 naturally sees me draw on my festive experience of watching the entire first season of Heroes on DVD. I was struck by how much D.L. Hawkins (played by Leonard Roberts), the guy who...

January Transfer Window: Top 5 Rumours of the Day

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The January transfer window is open for business, and so football's rumour mill has gone into overdrive. Will Berbatov stay at Spurs? Has Joey Barton taken a shower yet? So many questions, so few answers. Here are the top 5 transfer window rumours of the day, neatly summarised in one cut-out-and-keep package: 1 Avram Grant wants to splash out £35m to sign both Nicolas Anelka and 'want-away' Dimitar Berbatov.

Ray Winstone vs Alan Curbishley - who's the daddy?

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Professional West Ham fan Ray Winstone and Irons' boss Alan Curbishley square up, in a friendly fashion, before last week's West Ham vs Man Utd game. Winstone's presence clearly intimidated the Man Yoo players, who played below their usual level in a 2-1 defeat.

Pies' 12 Days of Christmas: Eight Grobbelaar's a-milking

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HAPPY NEW YEAR, PIES FANS! On the eighth day of Christmas, Pies sends to you eight Bruce Grobbelaar's a-milking...